but-make-it-poly

[xx-akubara-xx]

[sl8tersstuff]

Dear everyone I have ever loved,

I’m sorry.

[unicorntgoughts]

Certain people in my life might not change, but I can. By change, I mean shifting the habit of not liking myself, of hating my body, of suppressing my deepest desires and the truths of who I am.

[storytellerslense]

JJ Maybank character analysis

How parentification shaped JJ's personality

Part 2

Victim role, low self-esteem and compulsive caregiving

Especially in the first season of Outer Banks there are moments where JJ is not fully respected by his friends, the Pogues, and he often accepts this dismissive treatment. For instance, his ideas are frequently brushed off, and he is called names like "dumbass," reinforcing his belief that he is not valued or taken seriously. JJ tolerates this treatment, likely due to his low self-esteem and his desperate need to maintain these relationships, as flawed as they may be.

Additionally, JJ voluntarily gets himself into situations where he simply can't win, exemplifying his compulsive caregiving and martyr complex. For example, he confronts a group of Kooks alone to defend his friends, even though he knows he is outnumbered and likely to lose the fight. This behavior underscores his willingness to sacrifice himself for the sake of others, even when it is detrimental to his own well-being. He also constantly highlights how the Kooks have the advantage, which, while often true, also shows how he puts himself in the victim role more than the other Pogues.

JJ's low self-esteem is most poignantly visible in his interactions with Kiara in Season 3 Episode 4.

JJ feels uncomfortable when Kiara is getting close to him

When Kiara confesses her love for him, JJ's immediate reaction is to dismiss it. Kiara tries to confront him again, reminding him of an affectionate moment on the boat where they almost kissed. But JJ shrugs her off, recollecting the moment as "just weird", later admitting that he has issues getting close to someone.

Considering that JJ probably had a lifelong experience with parentification, it has caused him to prioritize others' needs over his own, leading to poorly developed emotional boundaries and a lack of understanding of his own desires. Coupled with his low self-esteem from his abusive upbringing, JJ struggles to believe he deserves love and affection. So when faced with Kiara's romantic interest, he feels confused and uncomfortable, questioning his worthiness and feeling that someone as stable as Kiara couldn't genuinely want to be with him.

Another point is that the potential relationship with Kiara represents a significant change and requires vulnerability, which JJ finds unsettling due to his need to always be strong and in control. This internal conflict makes the near-kiss feel strange and out of place for him. When admitting to his feeling of unworthiness, describing it as "not even having a home or parents" Kiara offers him help, which he refuses, illustrating once again his difficulty in accepting care from others.

JJ's low self-esteem and compulsive caregiving are deeply rooted in his responsibility thrust upon him from a young age and the lack of nurturing from his father which led JJ to develop a skewed sense of self-worth, believing that his value lies in what he can do for others rather than who he is. However, this can also expose JJ to extreme stress and anxiety. This is notably seen when JJ and John B. encounter smugglers threatening Miss Lana at her house in Season 1, Episode 2.

JJ's decision not to help Miss Lana once the smugglers are gone can be attributed to a combination of emotional overload, psychological exhaustion, and his complex relationship with trust and authority.

Contrary to his usual impulsive and confrontational nature, JJ experiences an anxiety attack, urging John B. to leave rather than confront the danger. This reaction can be interpreted as a symptom of his chronic stress and trauma of having experienced his abusive father. The sound of someone being beaten and threatened might evoke a generalized trauma response, leading to anxiety and a desire to escape the situation. This reaction could be seen as a form of PTSD, where certain triggers cause an overwhelming urge to flee rather than fight.

******I am sorry. This time I had to hurry and I wanted to get this done before going on holiday tomorrow. Thanks you so much your support, for reposting and giving me thumbs up!!! I find JJ to be a very interesting character with surprisingly much depth for a series like Outer Banks, probably because he is portrayed most relatable and realistic. If you have any other suggestions and ideas on what to do next, let me know.******

[i-am-trans-gwender]

Something that happened in my brain

Gender dysphoria: Your nose is big, ugly and masculine. It looks like Doofenshmirtz's nose.

My low self esteem: God you're so stupid! You're the only person who cares about your nose. Does anyone look at someone and think "She's pretty but her nose ruins it."? No they don't because it's a fucking nose!

Me: Damm. Can't really argue with that.

Somehow my low self esteem and gender dysphoria are infighting.

[unlovablecreatureofsin]

this body is a prison and brother i am not the warden

[ceraea]

Irony of creation

By me/_ceraea_

"Oh how cruel of God to put a heart full of love in a body that is unlovable."

[doll1-s2]

Exercises to improve your self-esteem (according to what worked for me)

1 • Self-care. Self-esteem is also about loving yourself, and in order to love yourself you need to start taking care of your skin, hair, nails and other parts of your body with care, that would be a great start.

*Caring for the body could mean applying a body moisturizer, for example, and for the face washing it and applying moisturizer. I would recommend Nivea or Dove moisturizer for the face, and Dove for the body, and L'Oréal products for the hair.*

2 • Trying to accept negative comments little by little, a long time ago i hated any kind of nasty comment about my appearance, until i learned to accept people the way they are, if a person is very unnecessary, that's the way they are and i can't change something that's in them. So i changed what was in me, which was the fact that i cared.

3 • Don't base your self-esteem on "how many people want to kiss you". People who only want your body are shallow, and don't pay attention to the opinions of shallow people who only want to use you.

4 • Last but not least, COMPARISON. Start following people who are beautiful like you, who look like you, I have a page on Pinterest called "my it girls". Take women who are It Girls and look like you, and start to think of yourself as them and try to achieve their self-confidence, in a positive way. Don't compare yourself to women who are an "unattainable" standard, because this can leave you in a deep sadness, "you want to be someone but you can never reach that person's beauty", respect yourself.

NOTE: if you have serious self-esteem problems, you should seek psychological help, go to a professional, this post is just my opinion.

[suburbanviper]

[neuro-divergent-angel]

receiving compliments…

idk if this is an autism thing or a low confidence thing but I really struggle when a stranger compliments me.

I know that rationally they are being nice but if somebody says something about my appearance I always feel uncomfortable and I always think they mean the opposite of what they say

one time a shop assistant said I had a nice jacket, where is it from. And I got so overwhelmed I had to physically leave the shop. My brain just kept saying that she hated my jacket and was being bitchy even tho this is probably not true at all

I read somewhere that people with low self esteem subconsciously prefer it when people see them the same (negative) way they see themselves and if someone is positive to them, this messes with their preconceived notion of self and means they reject the positive person because they are not confirming the negativity

Does that make sense?

idk

[sl8tersstuff]

I have this silent, longing plea for people to love me and have the courage to get to know me more.

[the-hurt-soul]

I feel empty. I feel lonely. I feel like I'm a pest to everyone. I feel like I'm a failure. I feel unloved, unappreciated.

[i-am-trans-gwender]

I'm going to start using the negative things I say about myself but change the tone and context and use them for my villain ocs

Bragging pure evil villain: No matter how little sympathy you have for me, I have even less for myself.

[anushkab2711]

Redrawing my favourite panels of Skip to Loafer .

I relate so much with Shima kun 😣

[glitchyko]

Alright, so I feel like I need to say something about this since it has been on my mind for a long while and I want to address it.

I want to say I’m sorry for the times when I said I want/will draw something and then just never doing it. I feel bad for setting something up only to never fulfill it. I feel like I’m a liar and I’m just lazy, that I let myself down and failed, even though I know there’s circumstances in my life that make it difficult to do some of the things I wish to do. Things such as ADHD, school, mental health, and other things going on in my life. But I’ve been trying to get better at managing my time, getting things done faster, be more productive, and keep working on my art and perfectionism issues.

I want to do better, I want to actually be able to do and show the stories, aus, ocs, etc, that I constantly say that I think about and want to share with you guys. I want to become better as an artist and writer, and I don’t want to keep being scared to do things I want to do because of perfectionism to a point where I just can’t do anything out of fear of it looking bad and not meeting my unrealistically high standards.

I’m not completely sure where I’m going with this vent talk to be honest, I know I can’t guarantee changes and such immediately, and I don’t want to force myself to work on art stuff just to pump something out on social media as quickly as possible. That is not why I create, and to be honest that sounds like a recipe for burnout, more confidence issues, and not having fun with art anymore. I think what I’m trying to say is, I’m going to try to do things instead of just saying and thinking I want to do something and never doing it.

[suburbanviper]

sad but true