#like the singing was kinda unnecessary and ruined some scenes

[fairywinds]

[neko-loogi]

Hey y'all, sorry I'm late but I'm back with another one of these Helluva Boss opinion thingies-

Alright so the new episode, to be honest I enjoyed it more than the previous ones but I have to admit it still has its flaws. So let's discuss that.

So there's the whole Ozzie and Fizz being together, being all lovey-dovey. And honestly? It's the cutest shit I've ever seen. Stolas and Blitzo wish they could have that lmao

I also wanted to point out that I absolutely love the aesthetic of the Lust Ring (well mostly because it's purple and blue with neon pinks, which is different from the usual red that Viv is so obsessed with-). My only complaint however?

Is that the background should be slightly darker because characters like Ozzie blend a little too well with them. I mean, I can understand why the background is bright and all that, but Viv just loves to make her characters be barely noticeable in the shot-

Now, there's a few things I don't like about this episode, for starters, the pacing was absolute dogshit. Like, everything went by so fucking fast, I had to often pause the episode several times just to look at shit in the background or just the scene in general. It was a hard episode to digest, really.

Another thing I found stupid and unnecessary was the whole Ozzie signing contracts with Stolas- it was very out of place and like, it honestly felt like they just added that to pat the run time. Not only that but, why couldn't Ozzie just go to the Greed Ring and beat the crap out of Crimson and his goons for kidnapping Fizz? Like, I was legit expecting Ozzie to go in and do some crazy shit but he didn't- he just stood there, signing a bunch of papers and for what?? Fr that shit was anticlimactic.

Then there's the "accident" that caused Fizz to lose his limbs and horns. Honestly the scene was somewhat impactful for me but at the same time it went by too fast. And not only that, I hate that Blitzo admits that it was his fault, yet he makes everything about himself like- COULD YOU NOT DO THAT, YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT??? And you know what makes me even more mad about this scene? Is the fact that Blitzo had feelings for Fizz and was going to confess to him- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Istg can Viv stop making Blitzo being this uwu pathetic sad baby of an OC who fucks everything that breathes? (no wonder she made him canonically pansexual, it just shows-).

I also think it was stupid to make Fizz apologize to Blitzo- like, I don't care if what he did was an accident, that shit was fucked up. And it just seems so off that Fizz was all like "yeah you fucked me up and ruined my life but y'know what? I forgive you because plot reasons". I dunno man, it just doesn't sit well with me.

*Edit: I personally would've much preferred if Fizz didn't apologize to Blitzo, kinda like how his sister Barbie did. Where she just told him to fuck off and that she never wanted to see him again.

There's also the song that Fizz randomly sings at the end- it's terrible. I legit cringed the whole time while watching the entire scene. And finally uhh, Striker and Crimson working together was really stupid, it felt like a desperate attempt to make something look cool but it failed miserably.

Anyway, that's all. Thanks for reading, uh bye-

[littlealeta]

Ralph Breaks the Internet Review/Rant

When I first watched this film in 2018, I thought it was fairly decent. I was glad to finally see Wreck it Ralph again after 6 years. But even then, I still found it a disappointment from the first one. I hated how they did Ralph and Vanellope and I hated that Felix and Calhoun were barely in the film. Over the years, after reflecting more on this film, I realized that I might've been a bit too nice to it. So, I rewatched it again. And... yeah, it's pretty mediocre. It's still a fun time, especially for kids, but I wouldn't recommend it if you don't want it to ruin your love for the first one. I couldn't even watch the first one for years after watching this trainwreck.

This is going to be longer than some of my previous reviews because I have a LOT to say about this film, including spoilers. But you can always scroll down to the overall section if you want to see a concise version of this review.

Story

The film starts off nice. Ralph and Vanellope just hanging out in other games and talking. But, by the time the conflict comes around, the story becomes ass. Ralph and Vanellope break Sugar Rush by fucking around with a new race track Ralph created. They go through the Internet on a rollercoaster ride (using teleportation would make more sense). Then, they end up accidentally bidding 27,000 dollars for a new part at Ebay. So, now they have to gather up 27,000 dollars in 24 hours before the part expires when they could just wait for the item to expire and then re-bid. (Seriously, this whole movie wouldn't have happened if Ralph and Vanellope hadn't been idiots).

It doesn't matter, though, because Ralph somehow gets instant internet fame by making cringy youtube (called buzztube when youtube exists in that world for some reason) jokes and being a real life person somehow (that no one questions), ok. Why do we need a movie about the Internet with two characters from a movie about video games?

There are some cool concepts with the Internet, like the little avatars walking all over the place, the spamming, and Miranda Sings getting her ass kicked off by Ralph breaking her Internet. But then, there are also a lot of unnecessary Internet references. We see Google, Amazon, Twitter (with all the birds retweeting one post, like you could've had other posts instead of just retweets), Snapchat (which is an app), and Oh My Disney, which is just 5 unnecessary minutes of Disney kissing their own ass.

I will, however, say that the parody with the Disney princesses, the I Want songs, and how Vanellope interacts with the princesses (an atypical Disney princess, so you can imagine how well they bounce off of each other) is funny. The only problem is, they're just wrapped up in this terrible story. Like, if they kept the video game concept and they had something like Disney Infinity being one of the more wholesome games Ralph would send Vanellope to and then they meet the Disney princesses in there, that would be better.

The emotional scenes are just shit. Like, I can't NOT mention the contrived comment scene, the whole theme about friendship, and Vanellope glitching when she's insecure, how the fuck, lmao? The comment scene just came off like elementary school/middle school bullying instead of how people actually talk on the Internet. It gives me flashbacks of the 2011 film Cyberbully.

And the way the conflict gets resolved is shallow too, because everything is shallow in this film. I mean, "Don't read the comments"? I mean, it's kinda right for certain situations, but sometimes comments can be useful in helping you improve and seeing how other people see your videos. Sure, you should ignore bullies, trolls, and mean comments, but you shouldn't ignore every comment.

While the letting your friend go and follow their dreams message is a well-intentioned message to send to kids, the way they did it here is actually harmful and contradictory to the first film. I don't want to get too much into the characters because I have a special character section for them, so I'm just going to talk about the theme and how it relates to the world. Vanellope LITERALLY goes turbo. She ditches her Sugar Rush friends, players, and her game. Seemingly putting her friends and game in danger, yet no one questions it. I can't believe this was made by the same people who made the first.

In the climax of the film, Ralph releases a virus to protect Vanellope from the dangers of Slaughter Race. But somehow, it ends up detecting and copying insecurities? I mean, it's a cool concept, but it doesn't make sense when that wasn't even Ralph's intention to begin with.

And like a lot of things in this film, the way they resolved that conflict is anticlimatic. Supposedly, it's a symbol of the theme of the movie which is about letting friends go, which is fine, but why does it need to be in the form of a literal antagonist? Also, I feel like this whole thing is kinda breaking the Show, Don't Tell rule.

The movie also suffers from a lack of subplots. One particular subplot involving Calhoun and Felix was teased but then gets completely thrown out the window. It isn't really an original concept, but it still feels disappointing that they fucked it over.

Characters

Established characters barely even act like themselves. They say and do a lot of stupid shit. Like that contrived joke with Tron having a glitch (no pun intended) and they assume it's already fixed, but it turns out it wasn't fixed. That could've easily been rewritten as Litwak announced it was fixed, but it turns out it wasn't.

Dialogue is pretty bad, too. There's a lot of unnecessary Internet references, laughably idiot dialogue (mostly from Ralph) and a few potty humor that aren't even funny. Oh, and this movie is weirdly fond of philosophies too.

Why would Ralph be interested in a book club?

Ralph is now an idiot loser. He spends the entire film whining and crying about how Vanellope doesn't love him and his hair, even when she's saying nothing about him, it almost comes off as sus (I don't think I can say the actual word I'm thinking of). He says stuff like this.

Bitch, you could've said, "Why are you angry at the rainbow." HOW HARD IS THAT TO REWRITE, WRITERS?!?!

If Ralph just stayed the overprotective father that didn't want Vanellope to wander into dangerous games like Slaughter Race and be around sus people, that would be fine. But no, he gets upset because he and Vanellope were inseparable for 6 fucking years. That is just problematic in more ways than one. Like, Vanellope's your only friend? FELIX IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE! WTF HAPPENED TO YOU, RALPH?!?!

As for Vanellope, I think the concept of Vanellope getting bored with her game is a good concept to explore and would've been a good catalyst for character development, but here's the thing: SHE NEVER LEARNS. At the end of the film, she gets what she wants and RALPH has to be the one to learn something. Don't get me wrong, Ralph is also in the wrong for being clingy and not wanting his friend to leave his side for 5 minutes. But Vanellope was also a selfish, insensitive b!tch for putting her own game in danger and hurting her friends and her players (by the first movie's logic).

Now, on the positive side, there are some decent characters. Spamley, Yesss, the creepy Slug, Shank, and Knowsmore. Any new character in the film is amusing to watch.

Spamley is the spam junk guy. He's shady and wants to help Ralph and Vanellope get rich by looting from video games. I feel like this character could've probably been the antagonist as I always felt like he was going to backstab Ralph and Vanellope.

Yesss is the world-weary, aloof Youtube Algorithm with a loving side if she cares about you. It's how I'd imagine an Algorithm would act like if it was a person.

Knowsmore (who weirdly enough isn't google) also acts like how I'd imagine a search engine would act like. Saying what they think the other person is typing into the search engine.

The slug (I don't know if they mention his name) is aggressively creepy. He's the guy that Ralph buys the virus from. Fitting for how I'd imagine someone with a virus would act like.

Shank is the weakest of the characters because she's the one encouraging Vanellope to go Turbo, but she does have a cool personality. She may look slightly reminiscent of Calhoun, but she's not stern and hot-headed like her. Instead, she's easy-going, charismatic, and has some badass moves. I still like Calhoun better overall.

Animation/Music/Voice Acting

You can clearly tell it's a step up from the first movie. It's more fluid and cleaner. However, one thing I would like to complain about the animation is the way that some of the 2D princesses are translated into 3D. Ariel, Cinderella, and I think that was Tiana, look unrecognizable as 3D. Especially, Pocahontas, uh.

I think the voice actors were amusing to watch and portrayed their characters decently well. Sarah Silverman, however, felt somehow off to me. Like her voice is pitched up and she didn't really have as much range as she did in the first one, but it might just be the bad script and directing. Bill Hader, I thought he was great as Flint Lockwood and Fear, but his voice is a bit off in this film. Most of the time, he uses his Flint Lockwood voice (which I don't think really fits the character) and other times, he sounds different.

There's only two songs in there, one of them only lasts a second and somehow, it sounds better than almost anything about the full-length one. A Place Called Slaughter Race is not only Vanellope being a piece of shit, but it also doesn't sound particularly catchy. The melodies change like every minute and it's not even in a good way like Bohemian Rhapsody, it just sounds weird.

Overall

Ralph Breaks the Internet is just The Emoji Movie but a bit better. It does actually offer some creative things with the Internet. But it also could've done better in its portrayal of the Internet and that includes making the world feel more natural and cutting down the amount of Internet references (and there's A LOT).

The entire film wouldn't have happened if Ralph and Vanellope hadn't goofed off during work hours and forfeit the bid, but no. We GOTTA HAVE MEMES AND INTERNET REFERENCES FOR THE ZOOMERS AND ALPHAS!

BuzzTube and Knowsmore existing while Google and Youtube exists is weird. I guess they had some weird contract disagreements with these products?

There is little tension to be found as most of the conflict is resolved through anticlimatic and shallow dialogue and scenes and lame Internet jokes. And conflict is often started or ending with inconsistencies with the previous worldbuilding or with how the Internet really is.

There are barely any subplots in the film. One is teased, but never expanded upon.

Jokes are hit-and-miss. A lot of the dialogue felt unnatural and disgusting, often for the sake of making little kids laugh. Yet, the movie even tries to be r/I'm14andthisisdeep for no reason a few times.

Vanellope and Ralph are now almost completely different from how they were in the first film and of the two, only Ralph learns something and it's a pretty harmful message in the context of the film. However, I do like the new side characters. I personally think they should've done more with Spamley, but they all have fun personalities and act like how I'd imagine the Internet in character form would act like. And the parody with the Disney princesses and the interactions between them and Vanellope is actually creative to watch.

Animation is a clear step up from the first film besides the designs of some of the Disney princesses looking off. Voice acting was mostly decent except for a few characters sounding weird at times. Vanellope's I Want song is disappointingly forgettable.

Ralph Breaks the Internet gets 5.3 bells out of 10.

Also, why is it called Ralph Breaks the Internet instead of Ralph Wrecks the Internet? Ugh, they couldn't even get the title right.

Sour Bill is also one of my favorites and I would've loved to see more of him, too.

[blursed-ninjago-ideas]

Grandpa Djinn au

[Kai roughly tosses a bowl of Yakisoba down in front of Ronin. Meanwhile Nya is taking orders from a bunch of sailors. Zane is in the back cooking and Skylor is managing the bar.]

Ronin: Hey I wanted the Squid ink Noodles!

Kai: And I wanted a Leviathan! Life ain't fair!

[Kai slams another a plate down and mutters order up to a heavily tattooed sailor. Garmadon enters the room in his armor and smiles darkly.]

Garmadon: (Sing song) I’m back!

[Nya tosses her apron and written orders to Skylor who catches them easily. She moves next to an empty table.]

Nya: Loser party of one! Right this way please!

[Nya kicks out a chair which Garmadon manages to catch and sit down on. Nya giggles as Garmadon looks around the noodle bar and frowns]

Garmadon: Place still stinks. I thought Chen’s kid would run a tighter ship maybe get better ingredients and better servers. Then again you can’t expect much from pirates and a cult leader’s kid.

[A loud growl is heard from behind the bar which is revealed to be a rather irate Skylor. Skylor stares angrily at Garmadon from her position.]

Nya: Oh I’m sorry we’re down a butler today, Milord. I see you’ve gotten a new set of arms as well. Hmm must be because you’re not secure about yourself in your nether regions, so you had to make it up with some new limbs.

Garmadon: Where is she brat?

Nya: You know, I've dreamed of this. You wanting something from me and me watching you squirm like a worm on a hook. Especially after you held me hostage in your tacky dungeon.

Garmadon: I’m so flattered you dreamed of me. I haven’t thought of you since I escaped the underworld.

[Nya slams her fist down on the table and tosses Misako’s green scarf at Garmadon.]

Nya: Obviously. You have your perfect little life don’t you?

(Nya raises her voice)

Nya: Doesn’t he have the perfect little life? And our homes were ruined by your Serpentine and Skulkin!

[Nya’s crew and the other patrons of the bar making angry agreeing noises. Several of the sailors get up from the bar and with Kai taking out a scimitar from his apron pocket. The angry group start heading towards Nya and Garmadon.]

Garmadon: Listen if you have some kinda score to settle with me. Game on! I see no need to bring Misako into this.

Nya: (giggles and raises her hand to wave the sailors and her brother back) It maybe a little unnecessary but ugh, it is so much fun. Here’s the deal.

Garmadon: Just like your grandfather always a catch.

[Nya sits down and gets into the position to arm wrestle]

Nya: If you win Misako is free to go. Hmm?

[Garmadon puts on of his arms on the table]

Nya: Don’t you wanna know what I get if I win?

[Garmadon grips Nya’s hand]

Garmadon: Still dreaming.

Nya: Last time I checked you thought you had things all settled up too. Huh, how did that work out for you again? Oh right getting banished to the underworld.

Garmadon: On three.

Garmadon and Nya: One, two, three!

[Garmadon and Nya start to arm wrestle]

Nya: ( Nya giggles her eyes glowing a bright teal) You know that whole Big hero act? (Nya rolls her eyes) Ugh! I never bought it for a second. You could save a whole city, but you're still a villain.

Garmadon: And you can slap a pirate hat on, but you're still shrimpy.

[Garmadon almost manages to flip Nya’s arm down but she recovers quickly. Nya gasps and simply continues to armwrestle him. Garmadon’s eyes start to glow a sickly purple but Nya is simply giggling while he almost pins her arm down.]

Nya: If I win you bring me the mega weapon.

[Garmadon’s concentration is broken and his eyes cease to glow. Nya uses this moment of distraction to flip his arm over causing Garmadon to lose. Nya simply cackles at her victory while her crew cheers her on. Nya then rises from her seat and slams her hands down on the table. Now towering over the sitting Garmadon]

Nya: Now if you want wifeypoo back, bring me the mega weapon to my ship tomorrow at 12 noon sharp.

[Nya turns around]

Nya: Oh and if you blab you can kiss your wife goodbye.

[Nya laughs as she walks away with Kai guarding her back.]

Descendants 2...

Ok guys, you have to stop lifting entire scripts from things, loosely changing some words or lines, and then submitting it without proper credit. It's kind of a jerk move. The writers of these shows and movies will probably never see this blog, but they still deserve to have their work credited.

I'm not perfect and I can't catch them all. I don't want people thinking anyone is trying to pass this stuff off as original and we, the mods, will get the hate mail for it if someone takes offense.

Please, just mention if it's a lifted scene and were you got it, ok?

-Ivy

[xueyangs-pinky-finger]

oh so i watched cats yesterday...

first of all, we had to pay $16.50 for it bc it’s not available to rent anywhere bc they know this is the kinda thing people only wanna watch one time, so that’s already pretty vomit-inducing...

and you expect the cats to look awful and they do but it’s bad for so many other reasons?? it just fails in every way imaginable...

they didn’t seem to give any thought to the scale of the cats; they’re way too tiny in comparison to the people items we see them with, and the mice are then somehow way smaller to the point where they’re the size of like one cat finger?? and the cockroaches are the same size as the mice?? and that ridiculous ratio isn’t even consistent, like the props and everything are just all over the place. (how come ian mckellen’s coat had such large buttons? they can make cat-sized shoes, but not buttons? not to mention they’re still way too small to be human-sized buttons, so again, the inconsistent scaling... who makes the clothes for cats? why do some cats wear clothes inconsistently but others don’t wear clothes at all? taylor swift was completely naked except for a pair of high heels... why make a cat wear heels... have you ever met a cat! they hate wearing clothes, but shoes are even worse. not to mention she only wore them on her feet and not her hands. why do all these cats walk around on two legs, but then suddenly crawl at random times? why did that one cat hand that magician cat his hat with her mouth when she has two perfectly good hands and the cats have all been using their furless human hands to do things for the entirety of the movie??)

... nor did they seem to give any thought to how catlike these “cats” would be. in fact, it rly seemed like no one on the production crew or in the cast had ever had a cat before. or even interacted with one. or even seen one. which i know isn’t true for taylor at least, so what the hell? the way they moved veered between just regular-ass humans walking on two legs and doing ballet and shit (and do not get me started on the hiphop sequence, dear god, their animated legs moving... 🤢), and spider-man climbing up a wall only they were on the ground. neither made sense, neither were catlike. and why did some cats wear random clothing items while others wore none? some wore just shoes... jennifer or someone wore both a coat and something underneath it with neither covering her boobs at one point, so... what was the point of that outfit? what’s it doing for you at that point? and how come they didn’t give more cats colored contacts or cgi eyes?? only idris elba had cool green eyes, and everyone else just had regular human eyes, mostly just brown. i have three cats, and none of them have brown eyes. in fact, i just looked it up, and no cats have brown or black eyes. and i’m pretty sure miss white kitty victoria should have blue eyes~ (if they were blue, it wasn’t noticeable. idris elba’s eyes were an obvious, intense, clearly fake green, and i wanted more of that honestly.)

it’s so gross in multiple definitions of the word? firstly, there’s the trash scene, which... was just way grosser than it needed to be. & there’s rebel wilson eating human cockroaches, which was also very upsetting to watch and to hear the crunch,,, and the other aspect of it is the sexual energy?? which was just ever-present between every combination of characters, and actually left me confused as to who the main ship (🤮) was supposed to be for a while. why... dear god why... what the fuck were they insinuating lapping up milk in jason derulo’s number in the context of all the girls liking him...

oh that’s another thing. they made sir ian mckellen lap up water or something out of a bowl. it was completely unnecessary and added nothing to the story... so that was A Choice.

twice they had rebel wilson unzip her fucking skin to reveal a show biz outfit underneath, which is horrific enough on its own, but the way there was a huge gap between her chest and the boob cups of her dress?? it’s like okay... you already just let all the female cats have boobs and walk around naked for the entirety of the movie. but letting rebel fill in a dress is too much? that’s where you draw the line?? maybe don’t give her a dress with boob cups then!! it’s just sticking out in front of her and it looked awful... lol speaking of awful. the way they edited their ears through their hats... i’ve seen better work done in catboy edits on tumblr. and if y’all can’t do it then maybe just don’t. just consider not. doing that. it’s like they kept writing themselves into corners or not thinking things through or something. when will you learn that your actions have consequences!!!

they only had the cats show affection one way, and that was by like rubbing their faces together, and i know they did that in the musical too but god it just makes me so uncomfortable... i’d rather they just straight-up made out with their disturbingly human mouths. but it was rly confusing bc you’d see the “main” character victoria do that with her love interest (who was perhaps the most ugly hybrid... he didn’t even look like a human or a cat; he invented a new category and hopefully is the only one in that category forever), so you’re like ‘ok, this is how cats kiss’ or something. but they all do it. victoria did the same thing with dame judi dench! (i rly thought this movie was just gonna end with a big ole orgy, honestly.) so it’s not kissing, it’s more like hugging? but then we literally saw two cats hug each other with their human arms at one point i’m pretty sure... so wtf?!

jennifer hudson always had snot on her face?? like her nose was running, a lot of the time the snot would actually be on her lips, like... that’s the only way they could think of to show her emotions?? sometimes they weren’t even tears, it was literally Just Snot.

the songs weren’t fun at all. they were completely devoid of energy, so to have everyone dance to them didn’t even work or make sense. they’d pause in the middle of songs a lot (e.g. to make jokes about james corden being fat wow so funny hahaha) and ruin any momentum they might’ve otherwise had. a lot of the time they weren’t even singing so much as talking or whispering or chanting with a faint bgm playing over it.

the fatphobia, oh my god. rebel wilson and james corden’s characters only existed for the movie to make jokes about them being fat and eating a lot and have them do awful slapstick.

the main character had no personality at all and didn’t even have her all-important cat name at the end of the movie, which rly shows how much she mattered... yeah she got jennifer hudson sent up into the heavens to either be reborn or just fucking die up there bc how would they know this process actually works? but that’s it. otherwise she just got swept from side character to side character and adapted whatever traits they possessed for the duration of their song.

not only were all the cats way too sexual (i rly think watching actual straight-up porn would be less graphic and disturbing than watching whatever gross fetish this movie exists to cater to), not only did they seemingly make a cum joke (that was the only time they drank milk in the movie! when they were all trying to get with jason derulo! who, btw, is just a nasty person which made it all the more gross to watch), they also... slut-shamed jennifer hudson? and all did drugs, some against their will, in another very uncomfortable, sexually charged sequence. so like what is this movie rated actually and who is it for?? why make a children’s movie with such adult themes? but then, what adult would laugh at james corden being too heavy to get catapulted into the air (followed by him landing on his balls, because humor!)?

taylor swift can’t do a british accent.

lastly, cats have eight nipples. so, to loosely quote danny gonzalez: if you’re gonna give them boobs, at least give them the right amount of boobs.

thus ends my review. please don’t watch this dumpster fire.

(i think this gif clearly shows many of the problems i had with this movie... the sexual energy, the boob cups and shitty cgi, jason derulo... dear god make it stop.)

[toothyblowjob]

fuck it, cats recap

i saw cats with my boyfriend a few days ago. i wanted to make one of these after but thought i couldn't possibly add anything to the heaps of commentary already available on tumblr. unfortunately, cats has a certain staying power, and i think the only way to forget what i've seen is to write it down (aided by a list of songs to remind me which scenes came in which order). so here we go

the opening scene was such a bizarre combination of unsettling and kinda boring. there was so much unnecessary tension.

the set actually looked really pretty! shame about everything it had to witness.

almost all the words in the movie are unintelligible. it's probably for the best.

victoria, the audience surrogate cat, was initially in a big burlap sack which was thrown into an alley. the jellicle cats approach and dramatically paw at the sack. you can tell this was a bit of choreography meant for the stage and not a movie.

some of the cats crawl on their hands and knees, and it's just the most uncomfortable thing you can imagine.

when victoria actually emerges, all the cats hiss and disappear, then reappear to sing a song that mainly consists of asking victoria if she has certain "cat" traits like... being blind at birth???

"would you look at a king? would you sit on his throne?"

in the same song there's a sequence of cats just listing adjectives for themselves. i looked up the lyrics and apparently at one point they say "rabbinical cats." what the fuck is a rabbinical cat?

the big gray cat (afaict he isn't named in the film, but the credits list him as "munkustrap," which is one of the worst names for anything i've ever heard) asks victoria for her name, and is perplexed that it's something normal. look buddy, you don't get to name yourself munkustrap and then complain about anyone else's name.

apparently cats have three names: one that their family calls them, one super fucked up one that they decide themselves (like munkustrap), and a secret name they don't tell anyone else. the third name never becomes relevant, so i honestly don't see why they mentioned it.

if you ever see a cat in "profound meditation" they're just thinking about their name. aight.

sorry, good omens fandom, cats forever ruined the word "ineffable."

i think it's somewhere around here that macavity first appears??? i am ashamed to admit that for a brief moment he looked kind of attractive. it's idris elba, okay?

there's a song where they introduce the idea of the jellicle ball. it's really creepy, which is fitting, because apparently the jellicle ball is when their cat president decides who gets to die and go to "the heaviside layer." tbh if i were in this reality i would be begging for death too.

every moment where the cats are whisper-singing is deeply unpleasant. why.

apparently the cat president decides who deserves to die by having them each sing a song about their name. i'd previously heard the musical summarized as "cats introduce themselves one by one until one of them gets the right to die" and honestly that's pretty accurate.

munkustrap leads victoria to a human kitchen, where rebel wilson's character jennyanydots (really) is lounging around being generally useless. there is an extended shot of her scratching her crotch. i am so tired of rebel wilson playing funny fat characters.

i had already heard that jennyanydots unzipped her fursuit at some point during her song. i couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what the fuck people meant by that. what they meant is, jennyanydots unzips her fucking skin to reveal a sparkly costume AND ANOTHER LAYER OF SKIN underneath. is this part of the musical? please tell me.

i knew about the cockroach vore too, but that didn't make it any less upsetting. it happens twice. there are crunching noises.

the cockroaches are... they all have human faces. they look like aliens from a kid's movie made in 2005.

rum tum tugger's song is, i regret to inform you, a bop. i looked the song up afterwards, and the stage version is actually more upsetting. a lot of crotch action.

that being said, there is a horrifically sexual part during the movie version where cats are guzzling milk and it kinda looks like bukkake drawn by someone who had never seen cum before.

also the cgi for the milk was inexplicably bad. like, it looked like some shit out of a spy kids movie.

towards the end of the song, rum tum tugger pulls victoria's foot towards his mouth. i felt time slow, and i started muttering to myself "no no no no no." fortunately, he did not suck victoria's toes. i hate that i have to write that.

i believe it's at this point that macavity shows up and thanos-snaps jennyanydots. this is the first time magic is shown to exist, which made for a really surreal effect. i kinda thought i was having a stroke.

grizabella.....

grizabella is just furry fantine. she used to be a super glamorous cat, and now she's wearing garbage and singing about how sad she is. jennifer hudson really gave it her all though.

bustopher jones, who looks like he's just james corden's fursona, shows up and sings a song about how fat he is and how much he loves to eat. my fat ass was not amused. at the end of the song he too gets taken by macavity. i guess he has a thing for chubby cats.

mungojerrie and rumpleteazer are just awful names. i hate them so much. why would you name yourself mungojerrie.

they really seem like they're trying to convince victoria to have a threesome with them. at the end of the song she's laying in a bed between them. it's bad.

i am so grateful the dog that they run away from is never shown. i can't even imagine how awful that would be.

the past two mornings i've woken up with old deuteronomy's song stuck in my head. i don't know why. it's not that interesting.

the cats all flock to old deuteronomy and nuzzle her. it's awful.

judy dench and ian mckellan were taking this so fucking seriously. i had to see ian mckellan, without a trace of irony, saying "meow meow meow" and drinking milk out of a dish. it was one of the most upsetting moments for me.

"jellicle cats are black and white," according to a bunch of cats that are neither black nor white.

victoria needs a moment to go outside and chill during the jellicle ball. i can relate.

grizabella is there again, singing a weirdly beautiful song about when she was younger and happier. i decide jennifer hudson is this movie's saving grace.

victoria sings another weirdly beautiful song about how she was abandoned in an alley (which i guess is how she ended up among the jellicle cats).

"all that i wanted,,,, was to be wanted,,," heartbreaking. relatable. loved it.

ian mckellan, whose cat is apparently named gus (short for asparagus), sings a song about how he used to be a great... actor? magician? i wasn't really clear. ian mckellan continues to do his very best to make this weird senile cat seem real, and i fully expect him to drop dead of old age halfway through the song. alas, no cat can die unless old deuteronomy wills it. i thiiiink he got taken by macavity at the end?

it turns out jennyanydots and bustopher james (and gus, i guess) are NOT dead (sigh), but have been transported to a barge in the middle of the thames. honestly i think i just dissociated too hard to remember this scene very well.

another bop from skimbleshanks the railway cat. the slow motion tap dancing was a bit much, but the song at least was fun. at the end he gets disappeared by macavity, oops!

taylor swift's whole bit is... it's just hard to sit through. yknow how everyone made fun of that bit in "look what you made me do" where she went like, "sorry, the old taylor can't come to the phone right now. why? oh, cause she's dead!" her whole song had that energy. the fake english accent made me want to die.

she pours catnip on all the cats, which makes them moan and writhe a lot. i think this was supposed to be the orgy scene? i don't know.

macavity has "broken every human law," which i assume includes treason and gay sex. i really love the possibilities here.

actually yknow what just occurred to me? would macavity get in trouble for bestiality if he fucked a human? or would it have to be, like, a cockroach or something else that's "lower" than him?

macavity thanos snaps old deuteronomy because she refuses to let him die. everyone is super sad until victoria goes "oh hey, mr. mistoffelees can do magic! :D"

unfortunately, i really liked mr. mistoffelees' song. i've been singing it multiple times a day. his face may be upsetting but his overall vibe is kinda adorable.

mr. mistoffelees is named after the demon mephistopheles btw. i feel like that needs to be said.

old deuteronomy is returned to the jellicle ball, and victoria convinces grizabella to sing for everyone. the song, again, is beautiful and heart-wrenching. everyone loves it, and grizabella is chosen to die.

grizabella is put in a hot air balloon. i think the heaviside layer is fake, the jellicle cats are a death cult, and she's just going to suffocate to death. this is supported by the fact that the heaviside layer is a real name for a part of our atmosphere.

old deuteronomy ADDRESSES THE AUDIENCE DIRECTLY at the very end. i hate it.

she says triumphantly, "a cat is not a dog!" this is important enough that the entire cast repeats it. my boyfriend is more upset by this than i am.

there are some horny facial expressions, i think, and the camera pans back to the hot air balloon. the movie ends.

[butididnottried]

So, after a few weeks i'm finally at the finale.

The Phoenix King

Excuse me, mister phoenix fire bitch king Ozai, sir, your enormous ego makes me cackling like a kindergardener that just heard a swear word. This man is just insufferable. But yeah, he is a human being (and once he was an innocent (cute?) baby) and Aang is right with not wanting to kill him. Like, they really never talked about this, and they all act like it's one of the easiest thing to do. I know that fandom likes to jokes about how Toph and Zuko we're killing people and the rest of gaang was more than oblivious to that, but seriosusly, none of them - and i mean all gaang - never killed not even a one person. Probably. As far as i know/remember. I realize that fate of the whole world is lying on their backs, but i also know that they know better than to shaming Aang not wanting to be a murderer and they fuckin know that they're not helipng with such agression.

They didn't tell Zuko about their plans to attack after the comet, so Zuko didn't tell them what his father want to do with the comet. And now The Avatar is missing and you have no time to loose. That's what happens when people do not talk to each other! Buuut Ozai plans towards comet sound kinda... important? Big? Dangerous? Looks like Zuko should tell the rest about that anyway.

But hell, they really wanted to wait out this whole comet thing and attacket later? Like, why?! They really expected that the fire lord wouldn't use it's power to do something crazy? Because he already conquered Ba Sing Se? And that's all? He won the war? What? Cooome on, Katara, Sokka, you're smarter than this. ):

Toph was way too happy about throwing flaming rocks at her freinds. And she moulded a whole Ba Sing Se in sand. With the earth king and his bear looking just like they look. Girl, that is some crazy memory superpower.

👏 Give 👏 Toph 👏 her 👏 life 👏 changing 👏 trip 👏 with 👏 Zuko 👏

I have a really hard time with believing that Azula is just 14. Aang and Toph are just 12? Ok. Katara is 14 and Sokka 15? Sure thing. Zukos 16? Yes. And uh, Azula is also 14. And i'm like... you lost me.

Gay disaster mister avatar tracking master be like "i know what to do" and he takes all his friends to meet a powerhouse lesbian.

The Old Masters

Welcome to the family grampgramp!

Seriously, Paku does not deserve such precious grandchildren.

And also seriosuly, master Pianado is not that old. He's fine and middle aged. How dare you.

Bumi can bend with just his face. He can bend a whole house. And then throw a whole house. What a man. No wonder he can just like that proclaim himself as a king. Who would forbid that to him? Aaaand, do firebenders didn't knew that eclipse would take bending powers away from them? Is this some forbidden knowledge?

Uncle Iroh, i'm really start to doubting your wisdom and common sense. You really want to leave Zuko all alone when he become fire lord? I guess that since Zuko himself recognizes his mistakes and choose the right path Iroh thinks that he's ready to be responsible enough and take lead of a whole nation. Yes. Of course. ...Nooo, no no, i would never leave my baby boy like that. But i'm a dumbass and except moral support i wouldn't be much help with ruling. But an old man having his pai sho plays every day is more important. I'm let down. ):

I read how lionturtle and his gift to Aang is just an easy and lazy deus ex machina and... no? No really? Well, yes, it was easy for Aang to just being gifted with energybending and not needed anymore to kill Ozai, but it makes sense in this world and do not came out of nowhere. Aang was so conflicted about possibility that he must kill someone, that he unconsciously seeked help from spirits. The lionturtle do not came to Aang, he didn't even know that there's a human on hic back. Aang asked him for guidance and help, and lionturltle did excatly that - he helped the avatar with his dillema. Easy. Well, i'm guessing that Aang don't know yet what excatly happened and didn’t feel different. Also, Aangs moral dillema about killing another human is just *double chef kiss*. ATLA aired more than 10 years ago and even now it's rather rare to see something like that on show for kids.

But also, all these past avatars we're rather useless. You need to be more active avatar Aang. You need to bring justice. You need to do something. Blah blah blah. These are not really substantive tips. Maybe expect that aribender avatar lady. She also didn't really helped Aang with his problem, but at least she said something new and meaningful.

Into the Inferno

All these firebenders flying around like they have jetpacks is just hysterical. And yes Toph, yes, that's A LOT of fire. I also like how they used a sound of flamethrower in firebending scenes.

Banishment for you. Banishment for you! Banishment for everybody! ...aaand idk, for me Azula slipping away was a little to fast? Maybe if we saw some some scenes with her between “The Boilin Rock” and this it would hit harder/better? Idk. I don’t really feel her. And when she's drawed LIKE THAT i have even harder time believing that she's just 14.

Oh, i like so much music choice during Azulas and Zukos agni kai. When Aang and Ozai are fighting there's proper battle music, but during agni kai scenes music was sad, emotional and dramatic, not only accentuating tragedy of this situation, but also how Zukos and Azulas personal fight is different from Aangs and Ozai. NICE.

Avatar Aang

And that's why you do not mess with the avatar! Fuck him up Aang!

But lol, how funny it is that Aangs cosmic chakra was unlocked absolutely by stupid accident? Ozai that one particular thing bring wholly oh himself. And oh, Aang knew how this whole energybending works buts still was hesistant to use it because it could be too dangerous to him and he left it at the very end, if he had no other choice. Understandable.

Aang is the best avatar, there's no discussion. When all past avatars went down to absolutely obliterate Ozai and Aang standed up to all of them? NICE.

Hmmm, there's one good thing about loser lord Ozai. His hair game. This thick mane is truly impressive. It's almost on disneys Pocahontas level when it's flowing on wind. And then he got roasted by a bunch of goofy kids. Beautiful.

Yes Sokka, it's amazing that Toph invented metalbending. You have no idea how much.

Katara taken down Azula in a very smart way. Can i get a wahoo for Katara? WAHOO!

That open plot with Ursa feels... unnecessary? Do they planned comics at this point? Like, if you're not going to resolve this in the show then why even keeping her alive? I guess that this is in presupposition, that Zuko is going to find her and bring home and they're going to be all happy and nice but idk. Maybe it would felt differently for me if i didn't know how this was resolved in the comics. :/

Ty Lee was like GIRLS, and girls we're like YES. You go, you funky little lesbian.

Aaaah, it felt so rewarding and satisfying when Aang immobilized Ozai, put a whole laser show and then calmly put down this whole fire around them. Closing scenes after that we're good, but emotionally? Aangs being at peace immediately after fight bringed me peace. My skin is clean, my crops are thriving and all that smooth jazz. So good. Such good finale. I can't believe that. Honestly, i don’t remember the last time when i felt so good after finishing something.

...and they needed to ruin it at the very last seconds. Well, not like, ruin it whole, but scratched it enough. Aang walks on porch, Katara joins him, they look at each other and blush, they see how calm the world is right now and how good and beautiful it is, they hug each other, it nice and cute and just good. And it should end right here. Because this kiss really feel like reward and it's... icky a little.

[undertalethingies]

Notes

So, someone asked for my notes on the ranking thing. I promise they were organized in the doc, it’s just that copy-pasting into Tumblr removes all the formatting. Anyway, here’s what I sound like when I’m not trying to be academic and stuff.

Chara

Narrates your entire journey, which is pretty dramatic

“Chara. The demon that comes when people call its name” asdffgvihj

Honestly just everything they say before erasing the world is Super Fucking Dramatic

The stuff they say after is too, it’s just also super badass because like- calling out the player directly? Ladies and gents we’ve found their gender, because that takes some serious balls

The jumpscare

“But it refused” was probably them too and i just

“But maybe, with what little determination you have left… you can SAVE something else” holy shit

“But nobody came” 10/10 very drama

Asriel/Flowey 

Pretending to be nice to you before trying to kill you, thus leaving Toriel enough time to get there and stop him

“I am the prince of this world’s future” jesus christ dude

Honestly just everything he says after Toriel? It’s just so fucjkinshg dramatic

THE GOD OF HYPERDEATH???????

Totally copied Sans’ blasters with his “hyper goner”

All of his attack names are just kinda ridiculous

He was only using a fraction of his TRUE POWER

“It’s me, your best friend. ASRIEL DREEMURR” omigod

“I bet someone like that’s watching right now, aren’t they...?” HE KNOWS or he’s being passive aggressive at Sans or Alphys but EITHER WAY

“That’s a wonderful idea!”

“Someone has to stay her and take care of these flowers” HE’S QUOTING HIS MOM

Toriel

Does not tell you what is going on, at all, ever.

“What a horrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent child…” You’re killing me, Tori

Throws fireballs at a child… to keep them safe

Dramatically storms all the way to the RUINS, presumably while carrying the body of her dead kid

Is so intimidating all the monsters in the RUINS are scared to talk to her

Is the first character to say: “someone has to stay here and take care of these flowers”

Asgore

“Human. It was nice to meet you. Goodbye.” geez, Asgore.

“Birds are singing, flowers are blooming…” you will pry the headcanon that he and Sans sit over tea to coordinate their dramatic speeches out of my cold, dead, hands.

Destroys your mercy button

That TRIDENT REVEAL, tho…!

Wants to adopt you right after attempting to murder you

Lets a child act as an ambassador?

Sans

Insinuates that you’re not a human on geno run

“i've been knocking on the door to the RUINs... but the woman that's there hasn't been answering me. maybe she's not feeling well? heh. or maybe she's not feeling anything at all...? you'd better watch yourself, kid.” that’s from a neutral run phone call

Apologizes to Toriel for breaking his promise even though she’s DEAD

Just… relentlessly calls you out for being a time traveling cheaterpants

“if you keep going the way you are now… you’re gonna have a bad time.”

“here’s some advice about fighting my brother. don’t. capiche?

The Grillby’s scene where he FREEZES TIME?

The restaurant 

Breaks the fourth wall when he puns at Papyrus?

If you kill Papyrus on a not-geno run, his Judgement is Very Dramatic

All the teleporting? Like he mostly uses it for jokes, but he also uses it for intimidation, especially on the geno run

His geno speech

Get dunked on

Oh yeah aND HE CAN APPARENTLY FUCK WITH THE GAME OVER SCREEN

“Papyrus, do you want anything?” MY HEART

Revealing that he knows about the resets on the geno run seems unnecessary? I mean, in a situation like that, giving out information of any sort seems like a Real Bad Idea

Tiring himself out with all the unnecessary blue magic before his special attack

Megalovania

“it’s time you learned the truth”

Papyrus

He’s Papyrus. Need I say more?

Undyne

“Let me tell you the story of my people” and then just going ‘fuck it’

Stands on top of a stony crag or whatever?

JUST SEND THE DAMN KID HOME

Takes her helmet off to fight you

Generally just Very Anime

NGAAAAAAAAAAAH

Her pre undying speech is Extreme Anime

“I can feel everyone’s hearts beating as one!” you know for a fact that at least one monster Does Not support this

Is there any song name more dramatic than “battle against a true hero”? I dunno but the song that plays before it (but the earth refused to die) comes close

Alphys

Hires a guy to pretend to try to murder you

Told Undyne anime is real

Staaaalkeeeerrr

Her note

Her phone call to you in the queen Alphys ending

The FUCKING NARRATIVE TENSION IN THE LAB ENTRIES

“The flower’s gone”

Mettaton

Mettaton 

Napstablook

They are not all dramatic, in my opinion. Just very depressed.

[crassussativum]

Mass Effect Asks Masterlist- Mav

(Originally posted by thenerdcommander, credit where credit is due.)

1. What would their recruitment mission look like? ((Mav’s got a mind for tactical skirmishes and fighting with the reapers and subsequent indoctrinated has been an exercise in gorilla warfare. He’s made his way to Palaven and Menae to be of what help he can. Maybe he even already works directly with Garrus there. When Shepard arrives there and after they find the Primarch, he tags along.))

2. Would they be a romance option?  If so, who would the option be available to and what would their romance look like?  Would there be any special scenes? ((Mav is an equal opportunist in the art of romance. Male or female Shepard, it doesn’t matter. He flirts a little, teases some. Then straight out says he’s been serious the whole time and why not, right? Special scene would probably involve him talking Shepard on a date. Like dinner and dancing date.))

3. If there is one, what would their sex scene look like?  How would the scene change if Shepard or Ryder turned the sex down? ((Mav surprises Shepard in their cabin. He’s probably not wearing all that much, y’know. If Shepard’s into it, cool, if not, he puts his clothes back on and hey no big deal, you down for a drink, Shep?))

4. If left unromanced, do they hook up with another character?  If so, who is it?  Is it a canon character or another OC? ((More than likely and probably another OC though I couldn’t rightfully say who.))

5. Would they be available as a fling option?  What would that scene look like? ((Also probably and idk, something sexy.))

6. Is there any way Shepard or Ryder could get them to turn on them or betray them?  How?  Is there any way to get them to back down once the betrayal is triggered?  ((The only way that I could think of would be if Shepard were to ask/order Mav to do something he considers evil. Such as unnecessary loss of innocent life, civilians in the cross fire. Shepard wouldn’t do that. BUT if Shep did, there’d be no talking Mav down after.))

7. What would their loyalty mission look like?  ((It would break your fucking heart. During the Reaper War, Mav gets word from Carthaan, his homeworld. His family needs him. Shepard, of course, goes with to help. When they arrive on Carthaan, there is nothing but ruin, they’re too late to do anything. The crux of the loyalty mission lies in one action: Shepard can escort Mav to his family home to see for himself that there’s nothing left which will resort in his loyalty. Or Shepard tells him there’s no point, lack of survivors is obvious, at which point Mav goes off on his own and doesn’t return.))

8. Is there any way to lose their loyalty after it’s earned? How? ((Mav’s a little sensitive when it comes to familial bonds. He’d want Shepard to extend anyone the same courtesy that he got with his loyalty mission. He gets the need for closure, he’d want the rest of the crew taken care of.))

9. What would their relationship with Renegade Shepard look like?  Paragon Shepard?  If they’re from Andromeda, what’s their relationship with Ryder (pick any two alignments)? ((Mav’s easy going. He understands grey areas. Sometimes you’ve gotta do things the wrong way to make sure the right thing happens. Him and a Renegade Shepard would get on like a house fire. But at the same time, he knows when not to cross a line. Better things would happen with a Paragon Shepard.))

10. What phrase(s) would they shout during combat? ((Mav’s...er, a well educated man in profanity. Let’s leave it at that.))

11. Any squadmates they don’t particularly get along with? ((Um... I’m gonna say probably James. At least not at first, but eventually they get on fine.))

12. Are there any instances where rivalries between them and another squadmate could potentially jeopardize their loyalty or views of Shepard or Ryder? (Nah,)

13. Which squadmates are they likely to make friends with? ((Damn near everyone. He’s easy going, like I said, he makes friends pretty easily.))

14. In which game would they be introduced to the franchise?  ME1?  ME2?  ME3?  Andromeda? ((I think he’s always been kinda in the background, but ME3)

15. Would they make multiple appearances throughout the games or are they limited to one installment?  If they reappear, do they remain as a squadmate or do they become an NPC? (Squadmate in ME3, kicking around elsewhere.))

16. Which skills are available to them?  If they’re from the OT, pick four active powers and one unique passive class power (ex: Turian Agent, Asari Commando, Turian Smuggler, etc).  If they’re from Andromeda, pick three active powers and two passive (one of which should be a unique class power). ((Mav’s my Infiltrator! He’s got a Tactical Cloak, some Disruptor Amo, Incinerate on standby, and sticky grenades for kicks!))

17. Write a quick exchange of banter between them and one other squadmate of your choice. (( I can’t think of actual words bc I suck at banter, but I can totally see Mav teasing James about his fighting style on the mats. And that tiny turians are fast turians and he fucking told James he’d floor him in no time.))

18. What weapons would they use?  Pick 1 minimum, maximum of 2 firearms, 1 melee weapon, and/or 1 special or unique weapon. ((M-6 Carnifex, M-27 Scimitar- for his oh shit weapon- a knife he carries in his sleeve for close combat, and when shit hits the fan... He’s got a Cobra Missile Launcher))

19. Name one thing that players would remember them most by (ex: Garrus’ calibrations, “Lola”, Mordin’s singing, etc). ((The way he looks and sounds. Mav’s a small turian, standing at only 5′7″, his eyes are bright orange and so are his markings. And he’s got a good ol’ boy southern accent.))

20. If they’re from the OT, what ways could they be killed on Virmire, during the Suicide Mission, or the events of ME3 (pick one)?  If they’re from Andromeda, are there any ways they could die?  If so, how and how could Ryder prevent it if prevention is possible at all? ((Well, if Shepard doesn’t escort him in his loyalty mission, he presumably dies on Carthaan searching for his family.))

21. Can they be Indoctrinated or Exalted?  If so, what would they be like?  What options would Shepard or Ryder have to handle the situation?  Would there have been options to prevent it? ((No.))

22. How would they react to other squadmates, Shepard, or Ryder being Indoctrinated or Exalted? ((....He’d put them out of their misery.))

23. When on the Tempest or Normandy, where do they like to stay?  Do they roam around?  What about on the Citadel or Nexus? (Mav, a Blackwatch assassin by trade, would chill with Thane. To share notes, let’s say, or to talk philosophy. On the Citadel, there’s a few places he might hang at, a bar, the embassies, shops. He’d wander., ME3, he’d be at the docks.)

24. Do they have an opinion on the way Shepard drives the Mako?  Or how Ryder drives the Nomad? ((Nah, it’s not like Mav drives any better.)

25. Are they vocal about their opinions of the Council or Nexus Leadership?  If so, what is their opinion?  Do they make a passing comment to another squadmate or do they say it to Shepard or Ryder directly? ((He’s not, not really. He might say something nasty if he gets frustrated with the run around of the whole thing, but that’s it.))

26. What decisions could Shepard or Ryder make that they greatly disapprove of? ((Ok so....Siding with the geth. Sentient AI is a dangerous thing and will always be a dangerous thing and aren’t the Reapers literally proving that right now?))

27. What decisions could Shepard or Ryder make that they greatly approve of? ((Shepard doing everything they can to undue/fix what was done with the Genephage.))

28. Would they have any special scenes or dialogue in the Citadel DLC or for Movie Night? (Nah, he’s busy trying to drink Wrex and Grunt under the table. Mav loves his Horosk and that’s not too different from Ryncol))

29. Would they have any special scenes or dialogue in the final battle against the Reapers or the Archon? ((Just a moment to thank Shepard for doing all they could, a little pep-talk, a little let’s go fuck their shit up.))

30. How would they react to meeting Shepard’s clone?  Or Ryder’s twin? ((Mav would find the whole thing funny as fuck. He’s pretty sure he’s seen this B movie.))

[gizensha01-blog]

I've FINALLY watched every Death Note adaptation and spin-off, so here are my thoughts and ratings for all of those, including the original:

Japanese Musical (2015): Easily the best anime/manga based musical I've ever seen. Not only did it cover the most important things from the original, not only did the stage interior and effects look good while being very simple (and probably cheap?), but the songs are so damn good and catchy, I find myself humming and singing them often.

Now, I think the japanese versions of the songs have very simple lyrics, sometimes to the point of being a little silly ("you'll die, I'll win", for example, from the song "Last Moments"), while the english versions of the songs have a bit more depth and are perhaps a bit more poetic.

However, sometimes that simplicity works REALLY well (from the same song I mentioned, the part that comes after that one line, sung by another character, is "Can you not see what's left? There is only emptyness when the game is over". That's very effectful while also being SO true, for both of the main characters. The english version, while great, didn't even mention emptyness).

The actors and singers were mostly very good! There was a few (like the person who plays Sayu, and some supportive characters) that didn't sing that well, but because they rarely sang in the musical, it didn't ruin the overall experience for me. I love the actors/singers who played L and Light. They both captured what the characters are all about, and they sang well.

The ending to the musical is probably the best of all the different Death Note endings imo. Maybe not the perfect ending, but still darn good. My only compaint as far as writing goes, is that L's "your my first friend" line doesn't feel genuine... because he and Light had only played a tennis match together before that. In the original story, they interacted more before L said that, making it feel genuine. Otherwise, great stuff. 8/10.

Death Note, the first two japanese live action movies: They are OK. They made some changes but covered most of the important stuff from the manga. I think these two movies probably serve as a decent introduction to the Death Note universe, but are also good for people who just prefer watching movies over longer series/anime.

The actors aren't the best, but I've definitely seen worse. CGI looks preeetty bad, so the Shinigami looks like PS2 models (thankfully, they look way better in Light up the new world). The ending to the 2nd movie is pretty satisfying, something I think most fans would agree with. 7/10.

Light up the New World: It was better than I thought it would be. It took ideas that were already in the manga and mixed them into a new story, and it had... mixed results. It had some enjoyable and well directed scenes tho, and I think the new main characters were alright.

The finale was probably my favorite part, even if it was kinda typhical. You have to watch the first two live action movies to understand this one tho. 6/10.

TV drama: L was to much of a silly pretty boy, Light having feelings for Misa was kinda dumb and pointless, and Mello wasn't even a real person in this version (and that doll of him was just creepy).

It does have some good moments tho, with some interesting new stuff. And it's nice to finally have an OK live action version of Near, even if he was different from how he was like in the original. 5/10.

L: Change the World: What does some virus have to do with Death Note? And how is a movie focusing on L so dull?! Many scenes were quiet, boring and didn't reveal anything of importance, not about the characters, nor about the plot. About as exciting as waiting for your toast to pop up from the toaster... actually that's more exciting, because atleast, you get bread.

Sometimes, I THOUGHT something interesting would happen, but nope. None of the new characters were interesting either, and the actors were not good. The only "good" part of the movie was when L's kids started crying, and he just sat there awkwardly in the background, drinking tea, lol.

Oh, and Near sucked in this version and I kept forgetting that that random, annoying kid was supposed to be him (isn't revealed until the end but anyway). This is another movie that you'll only understand if you've watched the first two live action movies. 3/10.

Netflix: Pure garbage. I was bothered by how dumb Light was (and the twist at the end didn't make him seem smarter, even if the creator wants us to think that) and how he didn't have the same drive to create a better world like the original Light, and L acted WAY to emotional and not very smart, and he's supposed to be the world's greatest detective.

But the movie's biggest problems, imo, are the terrible actors, the crappy direction, the unnecessary goore, and most of all: the Death Note rules that they establish at the start only to break them in the end. The Light/Mia romance was bad too. Also, the music Adam Wingard chose for most scenes didn't match the mood at all. This movie's a joke. 2/10.

Manga: The original really is great. The first two halves of the story had so many exciting and well written scenes, and all the main characters got fleshed out, and every supportive character had some use for the story too (except Ibe, I guess).

Some people don't like the last third of the story, but I kinda do. Sure, it's a shame L died, but both Near and Mello were good characters, and I feel fans don't appreciate them as they should, least of all Near, who seem to get a lot of hate for whatever reason.

I also liked Mikami, and the last third of the story had several amazing moments, like Souichiro's death, the SPK wasting L's money to distract the Kira supporters, Kira's confession, etc. It was also interesting to see how the world had changed their view on Kira after the time skip.

Death Note had plenty of exciting moments, had fascinating characters, a great rivalry (between L and Light), had some good jokes, and it's one of those kinds of stories that makes you want to discuss about right and wrong, one justice vs another, and so on.

The art was great, and got better as the series continued too. The speech bubbles kinda covers up some of that beautiful art tho, lol. My only real problem with Death Note is that it should've been longer. I wanted to seen more of the characters and see them interact, see more of the shinigami, and I wanted the other Death Note rules to be used to Light's advantage. 9/10.

Anime: Just as great as the manga...but I enjoyed it even more than the original because of the great direction, soundtrack and VAs. Kappei was the perfect L, and Miyano was the perfect Light. All the VAs fit their characters.

I had no problem at all with how MADHOUSE changed Light's death. It felt more sad than pathethic like in the manga, but watching him die alone, thinking that he saw L before he died, was very effectful. Also, the sad feeling fits well with Miss committing suicide . I've seen people complain about the rain scene, but it's actually pretty good, even if L acts slightly ooc (he's back to his usual self in the scene after, which makes it extra whiplash-y, but eh, whatever. I think it was nice to see a more human side of him). 9/10.

[stan-and-the-newbie]

A kpop newbie’s reaction to BLACKPINK

Alexa: bold Alex: italic

today you are reacting to... BlackPink!

o damn, are you sure this band isn’t your favourite?

pFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT-  ok, good one, anyway this is them :3

((she tried sending me a picture but it didn’t work))

awh come oN

~ technical difficulties, please stand by ~

dfgfd shhhHhhHhH i know wot im doin smdh. this is alreaDY GOING BADLY

...should i just google them?

its okay, i got it. this is them

o damn. they're very pretty, but that was to be expected

yep.. so what concept do you think they have? lol as if it isnt obvious

idk man three of them are giving me death glares. uhh black? and pink?

tbh,,,,,they have the girl crush concept, like, theyre all badass and stuff

oh, well that’s..  interesting

i cant believe im letting you edit this post..  anyway, opinion on them? they dont look that similar, thank god

well the red-haired one i like the most so far since she doesn't look like she wants to choke me (and not in the kinky way)

fgjgfghj yes i see

the one wearing the 2b outfit is probably your goth waifu

omf

and the pink(TM) one looks like she's the sugar mommy of the group

m o o d

i'm guessing she's the leader? it could just be the thanos throne

they dont really have a leader..  this is also them

ah, lovely, a picture where they don't look like they want to murder me

yes, finally

a bunch of talented asian cuties, wot is new

to be honesT. i'll start with the first one from the second picture

alrighty

her stage name is rose

the first two from left to right are the prettiest imo

o rlly

i'm gonna get lynched alive for saying that, aren’t i

so, opinion?

she's uhhh 23? and a singer, and she's the goofy one

well youre right about her being a singer..  shes 21, and yes, she is pretty goofy. she is fluent in english because she is australian

n i c e

this is her kickin everyone's ass 

((Then she showed me this video))

i-

skinny legend

and they said infinity war was the most ambitious crossover... asian idols wearing brazilian carnival outfits as some dude sings that song from shrek 2? sign me tf up

LMAOO gee her voice still gives me chills rose step on me

alexa that's lewd, let us move on swiftly

sorry i just like her shes also a good dancer

i'm guessing she's gonna be my favourite

o

english speaking idols get bonus points, and she seems to excel at everything else, so...

yes, she is amazing. oh, she also cried over her fish's death

;-; oof

:( bless her anyway, you have any questions?

nop, she's gucci, let us proceed

right, the next one is jisoo

she's a qt ;; she looks like a dork i want to shake her hand and give her a hug

this is her smiling

i-

see thats the heart smile

is she the radiance? because my retinas are burned

SDFGFDSADFG MOOD

literally no one is gonna get that joke

wat if they do?

then they are people of culture

opinion?

uhh, she is the soft one, and.. she's short because why not, and she's 22 and she sings ;; 

o- i mean, she isnt really tall, but she isnt that short. yes, she is a singer, the oldest, 23 y/o and she is a goofball, a derp. very entertaining tbh

she looks adorable and has a cute name and is a goofy dork god bless

all of them are good at english but her. but she Tries- and is confused.  

o o f

tis a baby

she deserves all the hugs

she isnt the best dancer, but shes a Great singer, and very stable on stage

their hair alexa their hair is so fucking aesthetic

i KnoW

i am in pain, pack your dictionary we're moving to korea

fuck yeaH the next one is lisa

abs of JUSTICE

hot diggidy she's the sass queen, and she's uh..  23, and a rapper

oh, this is also her

she is also 21, and yes, a rapper!! a very swaggy one

jackpot

but shes a whole cutie, and the youngest

awh ;;

and she gets embarrassed easily

i see, so she's the tsundere of the group

she is from thailand, and i think shes fluent in four languages, including english

nice, man

she is also an Amazing dancer

n i c e ,  m a n

shes kinda my wife but theyre all my bias so i cannot decide it is Too Hard

i only have one bias  u-u

ofc u do

remember to only have one waifu alexa, too many waifu will ruin your laifu

a baby

they’re all cuties this is fucking illegal

it  i s do you have any question about baby lalisa over there :(

so far this is a very solid kpop band

o

lots of english speakers, cute dorks and pure babies everywhere

;-; yes

it has my seal of approval

n i c e the last member is jennie

o damn. jennie? j-just jennie?

just jennie. she doesn’t need anything else

is that an ACDC shirt

apparently

why do they all look so good and fashionable, and both glamorous and cute and pure at the same time, alexa the space-time continuum shouldn't allow this

pffft opinion?

hmm.. she's both a rapper and a singer, and uhh..  she's the second sassiest, but also a goof, and she's 23. I'LL STICK WITH MY 23 also damn nice thighs

she does have amazing thighs tbh.. WAIT HOW DO YOU KNOW SHES ALSO A RAPPER AND A SINGER

well usually in smaller kpop bands one of them does the support for both singing and rap..r-right?

,,,,,,,,,now that you say it

it finally happened folks, i taught alexa something about kpop

badass

THEY'RE ALL SO PURE, FUCC

THEY ARE, they have the badass girl crush concept, BUT THEYRE ALL FUCKIN CUTIES IRL also, take this

my poor heart

jennie is so smol ;; jennie is the smolest

i'm sorry, i was distracted by the thicc

mood tbh she is also fluent in english lmao

pack your shiT ALEXA WE'RE GOING TO KOREA

y ES theyre all really cute and entertaining, they dont go over the top, but theyre still pretty funny - as funny as a girl group can be anyway

pfft i find all of them entertaining tbh. show me some songs fam 

o, alrighty. this is a dance practice, it was the first thing that was released and everyone went nuts

((Then she showed me the dance practice video))

lisa is the one with shorts, jennie has the cap, rose is the one with braids and the last one is jenniejisoo

oof, a bit too edgy for my taste, sorry. but the routine is great!

well, they were kinda made to be badass

yeah, i figured

also, a little side note

o?

their company is one of the biggest companies out there, but theyre known for their shitty management, as in, they dont really give idols many comebacks or promotions, so they dont have many songs;; even tho they debuted two years ago

well, that kinda sucks

yep..

i imagine this business is pretty finicky behind the scenes. i guess it can’t be all sugar and glitter all the time

true..  anyway, this is is one of the two songs in their debut ep lol 

((Then she showed me “Whistle”))

also, may i add, their mvs are hella aesthetic

they seem to be..  not a fan of the super edgy american-ish songs though

yeh, their second ep was better. this is from the second ep

((Then she showed me “Playing With Fire”))

pyromaniac title, piano in the first second. this one's gon' be gud

yeah, this one was definitely better - well, not objectively, just imo 

yeah then theres this beautiful beautiful song 

((Then she showed me “Stay”))

that title gives me the hibby jibbies

y e p p

nvm i saw a mcdonalds in the background and now i'm chuckling

sdfdsdfg honestly the mv is So Pretty

ALEXA I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR SAD TIMES

shhh its a nice lil song just dont read the lyrics lmao

...i'm reading the lyrics now I THOUGHT THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A BADASS GROUP WHAT IS THIS

the chorus is so nice tho, with the claps

it is..  well, that was mildly depressing

at the end they hold hands and laugh and jump around in a circle in the mv and its just..  i rlly like the mv and the filter is very pretty

a e s t h e t i c

anyway, back to badass

((Then she showed me “Ddu-du Ddu-du”...?))

this is their most recent release, this time with a mini album

and i see thanos’s throne is back

y eS

these sets look expensive as fucc.. is that a fennec fox?

maybe..

and the evil parrot from rio? what is this, a crossover episode?

THE MOST AMBITIOUS CROSSOVER

first we had the shrek 2 song, now this they gon' hit me with dat turu turu du alexa halp meh  

i k r wat u gon do

is that.. a sparkly tank?

y ES jennie is an icon

i feel like i've ascended

tbh all these things were so unnecessary yet they did it anyway

well i certainly don’t regret it

that breakdown at the end is kinda cheap, but i think the diamond tank made up for it

definitely

sdfvbvGJHGthere are two mvs left

oh, just.. just two?

y es

i feel bad for them ;; did u say it's been two years

yeah..

this is so r00d

yes, always feel bad for yg artists

what’s yg?

its a company - their company

ah, i see

their shitty company

oof

here's their debut song (which i dont really like but Oh Well.)

((Then she showed me “Boombaya”..? who the hell comes up with these names?))

well, in all fairness if they're one of the biggest they probably have a lot of bands to manage

not really..  they had very successful bands though, so that kinda paved the way for the ones nowadays

ALEXA THESE FUCKING LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

ASDFGBFVDS MOOD CLICK CLACK BADDABING BADDABOOM QUEEN

"i'm so hot i need a fan i don't want a boy i need a man" BISH YOU'RE A 5 FOOT 20-SOMETHING ASIAN IDOL CHILL

hjkjhghj shhHHH

this is a whole drugtrip

it iS

are those..  black leather biker pants...  mixed with blue jeans? this is some next level shit alexa i can't handle this

y ES fashion icon

why do coke when you can watch this for free and legally?

ikr theres one last mv, and its better, trust me

..alright...

theyre cute in this one

((Then she showed me “As If It’s Your Last”))

jisoo is the one with the heart magnet and i love her

awh ;; man these titles are edgier than 13 year old me

oh come on, its a love song

that dancing, it's s-so lewd  <-<;;

it iS oh, i forgot lisa's rap is in english

n o i c e i didn't know jennie had her own ice cream business

girl is going places okay but 1:36

what about it?

th-the cotton candy part

pfff

sorry i remember the first time and saw it and was like fukc thas cute

well, it was. it was pure ;;

alright, final thoughts?

well, they're a bunch of cute and talented dorks, but that ain't nothing new. either way, 10/10 for the lewd dancing and the fact that they speak english. give dem more comebacks, fam

they have lewder choreos, but thats for another day. justice4blackpinkcomeback edition

yeS, let’s make a petition

Heya peeps, it’s a boii mod Alex here. This was the first time I put together a Reaction Wednesday post, so uh.. yeah...  I think it turned out pretty good! But seriously, a lot of work goes into these, even though it may not seem like it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! See you next week!

[b0blegum]

Always Have Been, Always Will Be (a request)

Author: b0blegum

Pairing: Idol!Wonho x Idol!Reader

Rating: G

Genre: Fluff

Status: Completed

Another requested one shot. This time, i really tried so hard combining the duet thingy with the fluffy scenes. I changed the plot too many times until i finally found this one. I hope you’ll enjoy reading this as much as i enjoy writing this xo

The building you just stepped into was really crowded. A lot of people coming in and out. So many people wearing ID cards and so many teens wandered around in group– probably trainees.

These sights were one you can’t have in your company. Yours was a small one, newly founded, so not many people would want to risk their life to auditioned in such agency. So, how about you?

You didn’t actually really wanted to be an idol, but one day, a man who you often see sitting at the coffee shop next to your school, approached you and asked you for an auditioned. First, you ignored his offer, but then he approached you again after a month and a month later and another month later. He’d always ask why you didn’t show up at the auditions. So to shut him up (well this is kinda rude but you just didn’t feel like auditioning), you finally went into the private audition.

You remembered clearly about that day. It was raining and you didn’t bring an umbrella. All your hair and clothes were soaked in rain and your make up were all washed up. You spent almost an hour at the agency’s bathroom to did retouch and drying your hair with the hand-dryer and that resulting in you coming late into the audition. They told you that they’ve finished and that you should just come to the next audition.

Sighing you looked at your reflection through the glass door and thought that God maybe didn’t want you to be an idol. Until you heard someone at the back, saying your name and approached you.

“Come on, quick. We got 15 minutes to hear you sing.” He said before leading you into the already-emptied practice room.

It was 4MINUTE’s Crazy you were dancing to and yes, you were dancing it like crazy too. Your eyes changed right after the song started and you began to move like a beast until the very end of the song.

The judges, of course wouldn’t be expecting such beautifully crazy performance at an audition, but then there you were, astonishing them with just one song and made them shook their head while giving you a long ovation.

Okay, back to this building you currently at. It was home for a group called Monsta X. The rising boygroup who debuted through the show No.Mercy and why were you here?

“Wow, you’re… early.” You greeted the man in grey hoodie who just stopped whatever he was doing after he saw you coming in.

“You, too.” He smiled. “I came early because there’s a part I want to add to end the song.” He said, walking to the plugged in iPhone and played the song while you were taking off the coat and getting ready to join him.

The man started to spin and moved intensely following the song.

“You really want me to do that?” You asked after he was finished showing you that particular part. “You’re crazy, Wonho.” You shook your head and began to follow what he just did.

Your finger acted as if it was pulling up the length of the dress to reveal more of your thighs while you leaned back to him and swayed your hips to him. His hand would locked in your waist as well as his eyes on yours.

“How’s that?” You pushed away yourself from him. He tilted his head and smacked his lips.

“That’s great, but something’s still off.” He almost whispered. Without waiting for your answer, he began to dance to that part again and again until you suddenly began to join by walking flirtily and grabbed his waist while singing your part in Coming of Age by Park Ji Yoon.

“Arched back.” You ordered when you thought was the proper time for him to do that while you gesturing as if you’re grabbing the hair on the back of his head.

With his body still arched back, your fingertips were tapping his stomach up to his shoulder lightly until you grabbed the collar of his hoodie and pulled you closer to him. “How was that?” You asked while both of you still in that position.

“You’re crazier than me.” He chuckled as he tried to caught his breath.

Both of you were so caught up with the dance that none of you realised that all of Monsta X members were coming in one by one to watch you and Wonho’s little performance.

“Oh, God!” You exclaimed as you saw Minhyuk’s reflection from the mirror.

“Wow, (y/n)! You should feature in our VLive video! You’re so great at dancing.” Minhyuk’s eyes widened.

“You’re that good to the point where I felt like I was pinned on the couch with my eyes glued on your move.” Shownu added. “Jooheon and Changkyun was outside where they watched you through the windows with their mouths wide open.” He laughed.

“Really, (y/n). The world needs to recognize you! You’re really amazing. Really!” Jooheon flooded you with compliment.

You blushed and smiled to them while mouthed thank you.

Finally, the day has come. The TV in your waiting room is showing you the situation of the area where a big stage is set and hundreds of chairs were provided for the stars and honorable guests and also a wide space for the fans to watch their idols performing.

“The crowds are no joke.” You shook your head after taking sip of your favorite blackcurrant drink.

“You’re gonna kill the stage, (y/n). Don’t worry!” The member of your girlgroup trying to put you at ease because in less than ten minutes, you’re about to go backstage and get ready to perform a dance break with Monsta X’s Wonho.

“Yeah, but I hope his fans won’t kill me after that dance.” You crossed your fingers and looked up as if you’re praying to God.

“Come on! How intense that dance could be? Maybe a bit of hug and hips swaying, right?” Another member jammed in.

“But this is Wonho i’m doing with. You know almost everyone sees him like he’s a sex God. Everything he does is ten times hotter, you know.” You fixed the tightly fit dress that hugged your curved perfectly.

“(Y/n)! Stage.” You heard your name is being called and you immediately checked your look and began rushing outside after telling your members to wish you good lucks.

You heard shouts from behind the stage, mostly girls shouting Wonho’s name– obviously. The lights were dimmed and you could see from the gap of the curtain, 80% of the crowds are holding Monsta X’s lightstick.

“You’re ready?” A voice shocked you from behind. It was of course, the sex God himself.

“Yeah. I think I am.” You cleared your throat and stood up straight.

“Okay, great.” He tapped the top of your head and you were of course a bit taken aback by his sudden unnecessary action. “I hope i won’t ruin the stage.”

“Nope. Nope, we won’t.” You replied, trying to calm yourself down.

“Yeah. How come a girl as good as you will ruin the stage? That won’t happen.” He smiled.

When the lights were completely shut, you and Wonho got on the stage, standing on where both of you should be. You at one side of the stage, while he was at the other.

It was when the breathing sound was heard that both you and Wonho was shoot with the spotlight and the crowds immediately lose their minds.

You began singing because the first verse was your part. Wonho and you were walking towards each other with an intense gaze shot onto each other’s eyes. His brushed back hair made him look thousand times hotter and the suits he wore, damn, that made you almost forgot your lines.

When it’s the part where you should be walking in circle with your arm on his waist and his arm on your waist, he looked and smirked at you.

“You’re so beautiful in that dress.” He mouthed. You almost choked and stopped singing, but thankfully you made it to not ruin the song.

The performance continue and now was the time where you’re going to ‘grab’ his hair to make him arched back before pulling him really closed to you.

Wonho loosened his necktie before you grabbed his hair and when he’s arched back, he purposely took off his suit jacket.

You looked at him, surprised, because all of these weren’t on the script.

You pulled his loosened necktie and Wonho helped you by pushing himself really– really close that his nose would touch yours.

The light slowly dimmed along with loud shouting and applause. Wonho covered your face and his with the suit jacket and slowly brought his lips closer to yours.

He’d kiss it gently and softly for seconds before he broke that kiss and gave a small peck on your cheek.

“Great job, (y/n).” You didn’t see it, but Wonho was smiling when he said that.

You stepped off the stage with confused mind. You and him was never done such things at rehearsals and that he always looked like he didn’t have any interest in you, at all.

So, why now?

“Wonho,” you called his name as you both walked to the waiting room. “What was that for?” You carefully asked.

“What do you mean?” He casually replied, unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt.

“That… the thing you did on the stage.”

“On the stage? I was dancing. I thought you knew because you were, too.” He acted innocent.

“Not, that! You know exactly what I meant.” You sighed. By now, you could feel your cheeks turned crimson red.

“We sang, we danced, we…” He stopped and smiled at you. “Yeah, I remembered!” He grabbed your hand.

The corridor you both were at now was full of staffs and idols that were waiting for their time to perform, but Wonho seemed like he didn’t care, while you already tried to let go of his hand subtly.

“We kissed.” He smiled.

“I can’t believe you said that aloud.” You whispered, realising some of the idols turned at you and Wonho when he said the word.

With red cheeks, you pulled him into your waiting room, which now was empty because both members and the staffs were already behind the stage.

“Yes. Th– that. The kiss.” You stuttered. “What was that for?”

Wonho smiled and looked at you. Slowly his hand moved to put the loose strands of your hair behind your ear.

“I like you.” He confessed.

You blinked rapidly by his sudden confession.

“I’ve always liked you.” He continued. “Ever since I saw you at your first music show.” Wonho sat himself on the couch. “I saw you performed from behind the stage and  asked the staff who was the girl on the stage, the one who wore light blue sweats with suspenders.”

“That was long time ago.” You said in a really low voice. It was when you just debuted with your group and for the record, you didn’t even remember the outfit you wore at that day.

“I really wanted to get to know you. To get closer to you, but knowing that you’re a rookie group, I told myself that I should better wait.”

“Wait?”

“Yeah. Rumors often attack rookie groups and I don’t want that happened to you and your group so…” he smiled. “Thank God I finally got this opportunity.”

“But that was… four years ago?” You chuckled. “Don’t lie to me. No one would hold on for so long just for someone. You’re silly.”

“You might not believed that and it’s up to you, but I am serious. I am seriously in love with you, (y/n).”

[judasisgayriot]

Beauty and the Beast

Just saw this movie! There are things that differ from the animated version so uh spoilers I guess. It was good! I enjoyed it a lot though I kinda knew I would. Not perfect but nothing that really took away from my enjoyment in a major way I guess. Casting was good in general. Luke Evans was genuinely great. Emma Watson is fine, she wasn't terrible or anything though she does stand out as the weak link in the cast. Her singing is fine but it's clear she isn't a singer, it would have been better to cast someone who has singing experience but eh. Didn't ruin Belle's songs for me or anything. Her acting was weak in spots, I kinda agree with that post about her acting in the Beast transformation scene. React a little more please! But I think she was good at being feisty/angry, and flirty with the Beast, and she did sad moments quite well too. I'm not super bothered by her though it could have been better with someone else. Re: That Dress, honestly while I would have preferred something more elaborate and akin to the iconic original- come on Disney, that's what everyone who's nostalgic for the original wants to see!- it's honestly MUCH better in motion than in images. It looked pretty nice on screen and when it was moving and twirling about in the ballroom. So it wasn't too bad. Rest of the costuming I thought was lovely! I think the movie did capture a lovely magical atmosphere to it overall. I'm glad that some things were fleshed out/explained a little more, like the whole book shop thing when the town hates reading lol, and Belle's mother- while a little morbid, gave a nice little scene and lol, now Belle and Beast can be pals in the Tragic Dead Mother club, hooray! The Lefou stuff honestly kinda charmed me. While he is Gaston's sidekick he's not just played for total 'foolishness', like I think he honestly comes off as very sympathetic. He's REALLY obviously gay for Gaston right from the start lol but you're rooting for him! At least I was. I fuckin loved when Gaston abandons him during the final battle and Mrs Potts is like 'you're too good for him' lmao. I was like yes! You are! Lefou is a Good Boy okay! I wanted him to be happy! So though it was hardly groundbreaking or explicit I was happy he got his little redemption arc and like broke free from Gaston who treated him terribly and danced with that other dude, like treat him right Stanley! Lmao. (The dudes in dresses gag was stupid and unnecessary but thankfully short.) The Beast was fine but his face is a little too 'furry handsome man face' and not beastly enough tbh. Although post-transformation Dan Stevens is honestly kind of a babe which fixes the whole 'he's uglier as a human' thing from the original lol. Like, what lovely hair! He's cute! Also oh my god the Prince's makeup in the first scene! Casually rocking red lipstick and blue and gold eyeshadow like, I wanted to Steal His Look. Fucking iconic. He was serving Face. Loved that. Lol Also can you beliEVE they included what is p much an honest to God 'Belle is a furry' joke at the end I was cackling look out for that one New songs: really liked them!! They were good! Side note I literally nearly burst into tears when they played the instrumental from Home, one of my absolute fave songs from the stage musical, when Belle sees her bedroom in the castle. I know there's a reason they aren't using songs from the musical but why tease me like that by having the actual bona fide instrumental from Home play and not the actual song??? Also I think the Reprise of Home is like the most emotional moment in the musical ('we are home/we are where we shall be forever/trust in me/for you know I won't run away/from today/this is all that I need and all that I need to say/don't you know how you've changed me?/strange how I finally see/I've found home/you're my home/stay with me' has me fuckin sobbing every time so I'm rly sad to lose that) also I'm sad to lose If I Can't Love Her because what a TUNE. but oh well I'll stop rambling about the Broadway songs lol. Human Again has basically been replaced content-wise by Days In The Sun, but I actually like Days In The Sun better tbh so I'm happy with that. (I'm aware Human Again originated in the musical but it WAS added to the animated version so I didn't know if it would be in this film. Never a huge fan of it though tbh.) REALLY liked Evermore, a big dramatic musical theatre song in the best tradition and I love those, but I'm terrible because I kept thinking 'this is just Til I Hear You Sing. But less...bad.' I swear to god, LND ruined me lmao. I think all the new songs were good additions and I liked how it felt like a proper musical all the way through too. I don't know if I have any other random stray thoughts for now but. Anyway I really enjoyed it and I'll be sure to watch it again either in the cinema or at home.