#like im surrounded by joy and people that i love that love me and some little strangers in the computer tried to hurt my feefees

[daftpatience]

shitty comics day 2024

[smutinlove]

bro i loved ur last carl x reader sm

*shy sensitive reader

what if carl and reader fight (maybe cuz she sneakes out of alexandria) then rick scolds him and he has to say sorry to her but she cant help but feel emotional

yes!!!!

im not entirely sure i did the shy part correctly but i tried!!! enjoy love<3

CARL GRIMES X READER

i call this:

"The one that got away"

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You glanced at the walls that surrounded Alexandria. It was honestly pathetic. You couldn't necessarily go outside of the walls without permission. It angered you. Every small move you even thought about was supposed to be told to Carl and Rick first. Everything.

"Tell Rick."

"Tell the leader's son!" It was shitty.

You liked Carl. He was sweet. But sometimes he was an asshole.

You continued your walk around the walls of Alexandria. It pissed you off that you couldn't go outside. But... there was one way.

Maybe you could achieve a bit of freedom and independence in doing so.

You smirked and ran back to the group's house, passing Carl and Rick on the way. You went inside and opened the cabinet. You grabbed a knife and went back outside. It was still very sunny so you would definitely have time to come and go without being noticed.

You went to one of the walls that wasn't very heavily guarded. After a few attempts at climbing the wall, you finally did it, landing on the ground with a small "thud."

The fresh air was enticing. It was so peaceful. You could barely hear the words of the other Alexandrians. You decided to head into the woods, just to explore a bit. You had a knife with you so you'd probably be fine.

"Beautiful," you whispered as you watched a bird fly by. A tear of joy slipped down your cheek. Why? It was incredibly rare to see something so pure. Most birds are usually gutted by Walkers or killed, cooked, and eaten by those who were brave enough to survive.

You were about to continue walking when you felt something on your shoulder.

"Caught 'ya."

You let out a shriek. "Holy shit!"

It was... fucking Carl. "Having fun?" Carl asked with a hint of bitterness.

"What? You followed me?!" How could he follow you? It's not fair. You wanted one moment of peace... even if it was outside of the walls of Alexandria.

"Of course! You don't know what you're dealing with! These walkers... they've become more vicious!" You rolled your eyes. Like father like son.

"Shut up! You're so bitchy! Carl, you're always telling people what to do and it's so fucking annoying."

Stunned, he didn't say anything.

So you said, "Fuck you, Carl! Go to hell!" Tears threatened to fall down your cheeks, but you held them in.

"You ain't any better! Why would you even sneak out?!"

"To have some fucking freedom! The walls of Alexandria make me feel trapped. I feel like an animal caged up in there! And you... and your fucking father are taking over everything!" A few tears slipped down your cheeks, making you feeling hopeless.

He forcefully took a hold of your wrist, "We are going. Now."

Carl started dragging you, not caring about your protests or exclaims.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You and Carl reached Alexandria in ten minutes due to his speedy pace.

By this point, you had fantasized about killing Carl in a hundred different ways. And you'd also shed a few more tears before he started yelling at you. Again.

You rushed inside, avoiding everyone.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

"You really had to yell at her?!" Rick scolded. There really was no reason for Carl to yell at you or talk to you in a disrespectful manner. "Well, no, but—"

"—But you need to apologize."

"She shouldn't have snuck out! It's dangerous," Carl retorted.

"And she is old enough to make her own decisions. I agree, it's dangerous and she shouldn't have snuck out. But that was her choice and you should have respected that." Carl stayed quiet this time, letting Rick finish.

"—You can't treat people like that, Carl. Son, I love you. But that was horrible. I want you to go apologize to her. Don't lose her 'cause you said something stupid. She's a good one. You do not wanna sit on a rocking chair at ninety and call her, the one that got away."

"I'm sorry, dad." Carl said. "I know. Now, go."

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Carl entered the house with the yellow door (group's house), Carl sighed and called out, "Hey, Y/N, are you here?"

You sat on the couch, curled up into a ball. Your cheeks were red and puffy from crying. "Hey, oh, Y/N," you heard from behind you.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean all that bullshit I said. I was horrible."

Carl sat down next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. You looked up, eyes watering again. "Don't cry, please. I'm sorry. I'm the biggest asshole on the planet. I'm so fucking sorry, Y/N."

You nudged closer and wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tight. "I'm sorry," he whispered in your ear once more.

»»————<3———-««

damn guys

inside i was dying frrr

did anyone catch the catwoman/batman reference? :D

anyway this was fun!!! send more reqs yall<3333

he totally wants me<3

[nina-ya]

Oh my gosh Nina I LOVE your content!!! It's so detailed and lovely without being too wordy and long it's just amazing oh gosh~

If you don't have too many asks and if it's okay, can I ask for a scenario where it's post-war arc and reader is at his bedside holding his hand while he's recovering just waiting for him to finally wake up. And while he's laying there reader realizes that they love him more than a friend/captain. So when he wakes up they're crying on him and they admit how scared they were to lose him.

Even if you don't write it, thank you so much for all of the content you give us!! You should consider opening/sharing a Ko-fi, I would love to give back as a true thank you!!

Have a blessed night ❤

Waiting for Luffy to Wake Up

Pairing: Luffy x Reader CW: Marineford spoilers if you squint. None overall. WC: 1.2k A/N: AAAAA????? Im going to actually sob at your complement it means a lot to me and truly thank you for reading my silly little writings i'm glad if i can bring joy to even one person. I do have a ko-fi! you can find it here!

You’ve grown accustomed to the smell of heavy antiseptic that inhabited the room. The blinding LED lights had been dimmed, as they usually were when night fell, leaving the room shroud in darkness. The only sources of light were the faint glow seeping in from under the door and the dull gleam of the machines that surrounded his bed. Oh, those machines. The machines that whir and beep through all hours of the day to keep him alive. The heart monitor is one of the machines that you are grateful for, though it was a double-edged sword. It's a reminder that his heart still beats, but the constant beep...beep....beep is a sound that you have grown to dread the longer that you hear it– wishing so desperately that you could hear the sound of his laughter instead of this constant reminder that he has gone through something absolutely terrible.

You couldn’t tell how long you had been in that room by Luffy's side. You knew that at least some days had passed since the surgery, but exactly how long was unknown to you as time seemed to blur the longer you waited to see him open his eyes. The creaking and groaning of the submarine, the chatter that could be heard from the other side of the door, the voices of the people who come in and out of the room, all have seemed to just be muted to you. Your mind could not make room for anything else other than the man in front of you. 

You felt a lump form in your throat at the sight of him. How could someone so full of life, so unyielding, be lying here so still? Every move he made all seemed so effortless, it seemed that nothing could bring him down. But now, seeing him like this, you just realized how fragile he could be, and it scared you.

You took hold of his hand, gripping it tight, as if by holding on, you could will him back to consciousness. You could see the rising and falling of his chest to indicate his breathing. You could see the line on the heart monitor rise and fall with each beat of his heart. Yet, you could not help yourself but to distrust the machines lean in, placing your head against his chest and listening for yourself to hear the faint sound of the badump… badump… badump… of his heart to make sure that there is still life in there. 

You sighed in relief hearing that beautiful sound, and yet, other, worrying thoughts occupied you. What if he doesn’t wake up? What if he never opens his eyes again? What if you can never see that smile of his again? Your mind suddenly raced with the things you wish you had said, all the moments you had taken for granted. You leaned back, lifting your head from Luffy’s chest, but your grip on his hand remained tight.

The thoughts began spiraling, bringing forward past memories.  You recalled the first time you met, how he greeted you with that infectious grin, the kind that made you believe that anything was possible. You knew he was special from that moment. You knew that you had to keep him close. And somewhere along the way, without you even realizing it, you knew that you thought of him more than and you just couldn’t ignore it any longer.

Now, as you sat beside him, the weight of him pressed heavily on your heart. Fear and guilt. The two emotions filled your heart. Fear for what the future might hold, for the possibility of losing him forever. Guilt, for not realizing sooner, for not being able to protect him.

You didn’t even realize you were shaking. Your fingers trembled against his, and tears blurred your vision as you fought to contain your emotions. With a shuddering breath, you dropped your head and watched as the tears dropped to the surface below you. You whispered words of encouragement, of hope, of love, though whether they were meant for him your yourself, you couldn’t be sure. “Luffy… please,” you croaked out, your voice cracking with sorrow. “You have to wake up. The crew needs you… I need you…”

You squeezed his hand tighter, lifting your head, allowing the tears to flow down your cheeks as you looked at him. His face was peaceful despite what he went through. And just for a moment, you allowed yourself to imagine a possible future with him if he were to wake up. A future where you could be honest with yourself and with him and could finally tell him how you felt. 

You couldn’t hold back the tears. Your body shook with sobs that left you gasping for breath. You knew that you couldn’t live in a world without him, and the mere thought of it hurt like nothing else. 

In your dazed state, you felt his hand twitch. At first, you dismissed it as wishful thinking, but then you heard a shift in his breathing. Your sobs stopped abruptly as you stared at him with baited breath, wondering if it was just your mind playing a sick and cruel trick. But then you saw it– his chest rose sharply as he gasped for breath, his eyes fluttering open. It was real. 

“Lu…Luffy?” You asked, your voice barely audible. You could not dare believe your eyes. He turned his head towards you, the motion strained and clearly weakened by the toll his body had endured, but the motion was enough to send you flying into his arms. You hugged him as tightly as you could, despite the wires and machines in the way. “Oh my gosh! Y-you’re okay!” you exclaimed between sobs. “Don’t ever do that to me again! Fuck… you had me so scared,” you cried, slumping over him.

Luffy groaned in pain under the weight of your embrace, and you quickly backed off, apologizing for any discomfort you may have caused. “Sorry, sorry,” you stammered, reaching out to touch his face gently. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just…” You traced his face, tears still spilling from your own. “You scared me…”

He looked like he wanted to say something. He struggled, reaching to take off the oxygen mask that was over his mouth. His chest heaved as he took in the air without the help of the mask, something clearly on his mind. Not even discomfort seemed to be at the forefront of his emotions. His voice was raspy and faint, and his words were disjointed as he tried speaking. “Ace?” was all he could ask, confusion evident in his eyes. Your heart sank. You knew that question too well– it was a name that would soon carry a heavy burden for him.

Your confession to Luffy could wait. All those feelings you had just realized can be kept to yourself. Right now, he had more important matters to deal with, a grief that would require your complete and utter support. It wasn’t about you, it was about being there for him during this point in his life. So, you held back those words of love that were on the tip of your tongue. Those can wait. Right now, he just needed you to be there for him more than anything.

[genderfluid-insomniac]

sun wukong and sixed eared mihou realizing their crushes [where theyre in a "courting" type stage of their relationship] mortality? like they knew they were mortal before sure but they get a close call where their crush is Fine but it kinda puts things to perspective for them ykwim [smth like having to pull them away from a car that nearly hits them, nearly falling off a mountain ledge, just barely dodging an attack, etc]

idk im curious to see how theyd react and if theyd grow distant or clingy or try to Make them immortal

Sun Wukong + Six-Eared Macaque x fatally injured!mortal!s/o

Sun Wukong

He knows all too well about being close to someone who’s mortal and doesn’t want to go through it again but would rather become mortal with you than force you to become immortal. So when you get fatally injured during an attack against the city he freaks out and thinks that’s it, Wukong isolates himself into you or one of his friends physically goes into his hut where his brother and sisters surround him all worried and concerned for their king.

You repeatedly tell him that this was his life worked sadly, and people got injured but that doesn’t mean he’s going to lose you until he shouts out, “THATS THE THING! JUST LIKE THE OTHERS, YOU LEAVE ME AND DIE WHILE I SUFFER FROM STAYING IMMORTAL. I DON’T WANNA LOSE YOU!” He turns to face you and tears are streaming down his face, his nose is running and he’s hyperventilating, you realize all these past weeks why he’s been so protective and worried because of this. The relationship between you two was still new so at first you didn’t know how to respond and then you followed what your heart wanted to do, ignoring every awkward warning in your mind.

He needed comfort. Your lover who risked his life and gave his heart to you needed reassurance and comfort from you. You ran over to him and hugged him as tightly as you could with your injury, wiping his tears and kissing him sweetly. Some of the monkeys climbed next to you to watch you guide Sun through a breathing exercise. “In…1….2…3….4….out…2…3…4.. That’s it.”

You reassured him that you did indeed want to spend the rest of your life with him, there was no doubt in your mind. “Sun Wukong, I don’t wanna leave you one day and I love you so much. Even if it’s still early in our relationship, I would give my life in exchange for having eternity by your side.” The king is shocked and stops crying slowly, sniffling and looking right into your eyes. He could see it, you weren’t lying and it was the same devotion and strength that drew him towards you in the first place.

You helped him up and waved the crowd of monkeys to follow you to the side cavern that had holes for the sun to peek in and a waterfall flowing into a small underwater cave system and river. There long ago the Great Sage had taken the seeds from the immortal peaches and planted them in the grass there, originally it just for him but now it had grown into a place of comfort for him, holding such a strong and powerful gift. Jumping to grab a peach and having some help from one of his siblings, you took it in your hands and felt the soft fuzz.

“I want to stay with you.” You gathered his hands in yours so both of you were holding the fruit and lifted up to your mouth, taking a bite and chewing it as you relished the soft taste. Wukong smiled so lovingly at your actions and did the same, biting the opposite side of the peach and humming at the familiar but sweet taste. All the monkeys around you slowly came towards and hugged you, some let out whoops of joy, and others ran outside (if you had to guess to inform others that their royal older brother had taken a mate for life).

Six Eared Macaque

…….so…….the topic of death for him is a very difficult subject to breach in the first place and getting him to open up, reassuring him you do truly love him and aren’t going to leave or betray him took a while. Macaque is already very protective of you and there have been several close calls where you’ve been close to dying every time his anxiety spikes, the dark voices in his mind whisper how some day you’ll leave this mortal plane leaving him alone again, and death tormenting him in the worst way.

One day he goes to visit you and when you don’t answer he knocks again….and again, after two or three minutes he invites himself in and calls out your name. If not for his hearing he wouldn’t have heard you faintly whisper his name and the sound of your heart beating slowly, your body sounded wrong and badly damaged but you hadn’t been injured in a battle so what was wrong? Macaque got his answer when he stepped into your room and you brightly flushed with the covers pulled up to your chin, a trash full of used tissues by your bedside table alongside a bucket he could guess for vomiting.

“What happened? Lotus you were fine a couple of days ago-“ You held your hand out and he sat on your bed, cradling your head in his lap and giving you water before you spoke. “Meningitis.” A cough spilled from your lips and you held your head in pain, groaning and blindly reaching for pain pills. Your boyfriend used his tail to grab them and help you swallow them, rubbing comforting circles on your hand. “My brain is swelling which is causing me to be sick and my prescribed medications aren’t stopping it. It suddenly came on and if I don’t get the right help or get better then I’ll die.”

You didn’t mean to freak him out but hiding it would make it worse and you held Macaque’s hand as he tried to suppress his panic attack, trembling and murmuring pleas to anyone or anything to not take you away from him all as you could only hold his hand. Too weak to stand for longer than two minutes. With tears streaming down his face he cupped your face and took a deep breath, “I’ve been thinking about this for a while and now is certainly not the “right” time but I can’t live in a world without you. I love you too much to live the rest of my immortality without you and I would rather die a second time, so….”

“Yes.” He stopped and met your gaze, you nodded and reached a hand up to cup his cheek, letting tears roll down your cheeks. “Macaque from the moment I met you I’ve wanted to spend the rest of my life and if it means being immortal with you then I gladly accept. Do whatever you need to do.” He nodded and borrowed your laptop to search for myths of immortality elixirs or artifacts that would help you become immortal, the entire day your lover spent caring for you while also finding something for eternal life.

That’s when he found the ingredients to make an elixir of immortality, entrusting your care to MK and Sandy before heading off into the forest. After days of search, he finally found it, he almost got his arm chopped off but it was worth it for you, Macaque rushed back to you and peppered you full of kisses. Soon enough he came back into your room with a cup full of herbal tea with Blood-red cinnabar and gleaming gold; fickle mercury and fiery sulfur mixed in and sat you up to drink it, “Take it slow, lotus. You’re still sick.” You slowly drank the cup until it was empty and both of you waited with baited breath until you could take a deep breath, already sounding so much better according to his six ears.

[iamrunning-low]

Ok, forgive my brain vomit, but i have a couple of questions about 765874. I've only seen memory wall, regeneration, and unification, so this will just be regarding them.

With the controversy surrounding the use of Leonard Nimoy's image to portray Spock in unification, it opens the question about the possibility that the likeness of other actors and actresses will be used after their death. Some people are getting angry, even with how close Nimoys estate worked with unification. And I think it's valid.

Now I love unification, with all my heart. I think it was an amazing way to fix Spock and Kirk's end. It gives me so much joy that spock didn't die alone. On the more technical side, I think the whole thing was incredibly respectful and honoring to Nimoys memory. It was extremely well done. And though we will never know what nimoy would have really thought about it, i doubt he'd be against it.

But what about memory wall and regeneration?

Correct me if im wrong, but they used the same technology and used Nimoy's likeness to portray Spock in those too. And these other films came out in 2022 and 2023.

So why are people only getting angry and concerned about it now?

What's going on? Keep in mind, i am relatively new to the fandom, and i wasn't on Tumblr at all at the time the other films came out. Did I just miss it? Or are people only angry now because a lot of people are interpreting unification as spirk becoming canon, and they think Nimoy wouldn't have wanted that?

PS: to me, spirk has been, and always will be, canon.

[jigujellee]

COOL WITH YU

(gif creds here)

pairing : karina x fem!reader

summary : karina yu hates your guts, but she's starting to realize she doesn't. | read part 1 here!

word count : 5k 💀

warnings : mentions of death, mentions of gambling addictions, swearing, red flag step mom green flag dad, karina is just not good w her words, shitty non proof-read writing (im v rusty im so sorry)

your tears cascaded down your cheeks as you watched your father kneel beside your bedridden mother, gripping onto her hand as he sobbed uncontrollably. you both knew this day would eventually come; the doctors constantly reminded you of her poor prognosis but neither of you were ready to accept it.

your eyes shift from your father to your mother. you could tell she left peacefully seeing that her she had a faint smile on her face, one that you always loved to see growing up. as you admired her features, your chest begins to ache as her last words to you repeatedly echo in your head;

“you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, y/n. thank you for being my sunshine even on my darkest days. never forget that i’m always with you in here,” she says as she holds her hand to your chest and feels your heartbeat, causing a smile grows on her face.

“and i love you so much, my y/n. i always will even if we’re galaxies and dimensions apart”

it was too much to take in at the young age of 12. your mind was blank, not a single thought occupying your brain. you couldn’t process the fact that you’ve lost one of the most important people in your life on a random tuesday evening. it’s clear your father couldn’t handle it either, seeing how he hasn’t been able to stop his own tears since the time of death was announced. you move towards him and hug him from behind and you too start to sob with him.

naturally, it would take some time to truly accept the fact that your mother was gone. the pain still lingered for both you and your father but things were slowly shaping up. you found joy in the things you loved once again and you were able to surround yourself with people who cared about you. it wasn’t until your dad had announced that he would be getting married to a literal reincarnation of the devil that all the progress you were making had gone down the drain. how could he remarry so quickly, and to someone who wasn’t anything like your mother?

her name was lorraine. she used to work with your dad and kept seeing him after your mother’s passing. she seemed really sweet and caring at first but she was quick to show her true colours once she got with your dad. unbeknownst to the both of you, lorraine had a terrible gambling addiction. the anger on your dad’s face when he found out she used all the money your mom put away for your college tuition wasn’t even close to the anger you felt bubbling in your chest. to make matters worse, lorraine didn’t seem bothered by it at all nor did she give any indication that she would try and help earn it back, and you swore that you wouldn’t bother trying to include her in your life.

you didn’t have a large circle of friends so avoiding people was easy for you. if anything, you enjoyed roaming around campus on your own, trying to find undiscovered places to study and get work done. the only person you haven’t avoided was ryujin, a friend you met who lives a few dorms down from you, but that was only because she forces her way into your life and you just always seem to give in to her.

the two of you found a nice shaded area in the quad to try and study for your upcoming midterms. it was silent for the most part with the breeze and some birds chirping being the only thing you could hear, but that silence was broken when ryujin suddenly asks you a question.

“how come you don’t hang around karina anymore?”

the mention of her name is enough to make you stop writing notes. you take a brief look at her before smacking her on the arm, causing her to yelp.

“damn girl, i was just asking! no need to get violent,” ryujin rubs the now slightly reddened area in attempts to soothe the pain.

“but i brought her up because i think she’s worried about you. like, i swear i’ve seen her steal glances at you whenever you and i study at the library or whenever we pass by her”

“aw how sweet,” you say sarcastically, not even batting an eye towards your friend as you continue to focus on your notes.

“i swear i caught you looking back at her too at one point”

“okay, now you’re just being delusional”

“am i though?” the question is left unanswered and you force her to focus on studying. ryujin smirks at her small victory.

if you were in fact looking at the girl in question, it probably wasn’t even on purpose. besides, why would you even bother staring at someone who doesn’t care about you?

to say you were tired was an understatement; you were absolutely drained. studying for midterms and completing a handful of assignments meant that you were losing more and more sleep each night, and it was definitely catching up to you.

“you look like you died and were forced to come back to life,” ryujin jokes as she hands you a large black coffee and a red bull. was it healthy? definitely not, but you needed to stay awake during your classes.

“good morning to you too, jinnie. thanks for the energy”

“i know, i’m everyone’s ball of sunshine!” she yells, a bit too close to your eardrums for your liking.

“i meant the drinks, idiot”

“it’s okay, i know what you really mean” ryujin playfully nudges your side and you can’t help but playfully roll your eyes at her. you slide the red bull into your bag and take a sip of the coffee before dropping ryujin off to her class and making your way to yours. thankfully, your classes are in the same building so you don’t need to travel too far.

you quietly enter the lecture hall, your mind too occupied with what you were going to study next once you finished classes today. you plop yourself down in your usual seat, not paying much attention to the few students already there. it wasn’t until a granola bar was placed on top of the notes you were trying to read that you finally paid attention to something other than microbiology notes.

when you look up, your eyes are met with a girl sporting a jean jacket with a black tank top underneath matched with grey sweats and topped with a plain black yankees baseball cap. she looked like those girls on pinterest who had such simple but eye-catching outfits. when she looks up, you realize it’s the person you’ve been trying to avoid for days now. she doesn’t utter a word and makes her way down to her usual spot three rows in front of you. you stare at the granola bar for a moment as you mentally debate whether you should eat it or not. the professor’s voice catches you off guard and you quickly shove the granola bar into the front pocket of your bag, deciding to eat it sometime later when she wasn’t around.

this class is one of your favourites as you personally love learning about anything ancient greece, but today you find it difficult to pay attention in class. your eyelids are significantly heavier than usual and you feel your head start to bob up and down. you figure it shouldn’t hurt to close your eyes for a moment so you lay your head down behind your laptop to try and get some shut eye, but it doesn’t last long because you feel the neighbouring student nudge your elbow to which you jerk your head up and find the professor giving you a stern look.

“i asked you a question, y/n”

“i’m sorry, could you please repeat it?”

the professor sighs but continues on anyway, “which two generals were fighting in the second punic war?”

you knew the answer, you felt it on the tip of your tongue. but all you could do was let out a few “uhs” and “uhms” before a familiar voice speaks in your place.

“it was between scipio africanus and hannibal”

“well done, karina. i’d also like to remind everyone that sleeping in my class is not allowed. either show up to my class or don’t come at all, but i don’t want you to come in here and treat it like your bedroom,” the professor doesn’t break eye contact with you as he spoke to the class. you shrink back in your seat and keep your eyes glued to your laptop, failing to catch karina looking back at you with worry plastered all over her face.

luckily you were able to keep yourself awake for the remainder of the lecture after chugging down the coffee ryujin got you. once 3 hours have gone by and everyone is packing up to leave, the professor asks to have a word with you so you sit and wait for everyone to leave the lecture hall before making your way down towards the front of the class. your professor has already packed up and sits on the desk, swinging his legs back and forth like a child in a high chair.

“is everything alright, y/n?” he asks gently.

“yeah, i’m- i’m just exhausted. it’s midterm season and all the profs are dropping assignments left and right, and i thought i planned everything out properly but i’m a bit behind so i’ve been staying up late to finish things,” you ramble, pausing to catch your breath. “but this doesn’t excuse me falling asleep in your class, i’m sorry. it won’t happen again”

“it’s alright, i was just worried. i’m sorry for announcing it to the class, i didn’t realize what i said until afterwards which is why i wanted to speak with you briefly to apologize,” you give a small smile and tell him not to worry about it. he dismisses you and reminds you take breaks when you can. it felt nice to have a professor care for their students, which was another reason why you enjoyed this class so much.

you feel a bit better after speaking with your professor; your steps felt lighter and you suddenly felt energized to get some studying done so you plan to head for the library. but unfortunately, the campus goddess had also wanted to have a word with you after class seeing that she waited for you outside. you attempt to walk in the opposite direction but karina is quick to follow you with a skip in her step.

“hey, i practically saved your ass in there,” she boasts, now trying to walk backwards since you wouldn’t stop walking. “now we’re even after what you did last time” you felt your eyes roll at her comment and you pick up your pace to move past her and get to the library. you’re stopped yet again when you feel her slender fingers tightly wrap around your wrist, pulling you back to face her.

“can you stop ignoring me for once? i just want to talk to you”

“let go, you’re hurting me” karina looks down and her eyes widen at how strong her grip was on you, and she’s quick to drop your wrist.

“sorry. where are you off to in such a hurry anyway?”

“cut the bullshit karina, what do you want to say?” the purple haired girl purses her lips and inhales deeply through her nose before continuing.

“why do you have so much hatred towards me?” you look at her completely baffled, then laugh in disbelief.

“are you serious? you’re asking me why i hate you, when you’re the one who did it first? don’t you remember what you said to me when i was asked to help you with your catch up assignments? you said you were going to get your grade up, with or without my help, and then you’d be through with me. and let’s not forget all the times you shut me down when all i wanted was to be your friend and be close to you, yet you want to stand here in front of me want and ask why i hate you? damn i didn’t take you for an idiot, karina,” the last sentence struck a chord in the girl.

“excuse me?” it was karina’s turn to act baffled. “i was just stressed and having a really difficult time, but clearly you wouldn’t understand that because of how cold and ignorant you are,” she responds, voice slightly raised. if you think people weren’t staring at you before, they definitely were now.

“oh yes, because you, of all people, definitely understand how i’m feeling just because you overheard that one phone call, right? like be fucking for real” karina’s words begin to sink in and only then does she realize the weight of her words; this isn’t how she wanted this conversation to go at all. you walk closely towards her and you watch karina uncross her arms and keeps them at her sides once your faces are merely inches apart from each other.

“don’t make comments about my personal life because i don’t make comments about yours. (shoutout ate bobbie, iykyk) i never wanted to hate you karina, i’m just here returning the fucking favour,” you push past the girl and leave her in a now crowded corridor with people whispering around you trying to understand what just happened. the campus goddess clenches her fists and tries to fight back the tears that were forming in her eyes. she was reminded of when you yelled at her the last time, saying the same thing: that you wanted absolutely nothing to do with karina.

after your little spat with karina, your week has been anything but good. you lost all your motivation to study, you started to skip a few of your classes and opted to stay at your dorm because you couldn’t deal with any human interaction right now. you replay the fight over and over in your head, and you honestly find it hard to believe that one person can have such a drastic effect on your mood.

you stay in bed after hearing your alarm go off, staring at the ceiling. it’s been your dream to come to this school but you clearly weren’t enjoying the experience to the fullest. you’re miles away from your dad, you have a demon of a step mother, and the prettiest most popular girl on campus hated you and you still don’t even have any clue as to why. your first year at smu wasn’t anything like college life in the movies and a part of you was starting to regret coming here.

letting out a deep sigh, you turn to your side and find the framed picture of your mom sitting on your nightstand. you reach to grab it and gloss over her features, her smile standing out to you the most as many would say that you have her smile. tears start to trickle in and you pull the frame close to your chest, hoping that you could somehow feel the warmth of her hugs once more.

“i miss you so much, mom. i wish you were here to tell me things will be okay.”

you stay like that for a few minutes, your tears now drying on your face. you feel the weight of your eyelids become heavier and you could feel yourself drifting into sleep yet again, but your phone begins to violently vibrate. thinking you must’ve set another alarm by mistake, you reach to grab the device and find it’s not an alarm but a phone call. as you usually do with lorraine, you answer the phone but say nothing until she speaks first.

“i’ve been trying to call you for ages now! why aren’t you picking up your phone? i swear to god y/n, you will be the reason for your father’s death with all the stress you’ve been causing him!”

“how do you know you’re not the one causing him to stress?”

“please sweetie, you wouldn’t know how much i do for him since you rarely ever check in with us”

“oh i check in with him all the time, it’s just you i don’t check in with. you’re no one to me”

“you’re such an ungrateful little prick, you know that? you’re just like your mother, you’re both just so unreliable and you leave your poor father all alone here and-”

“god, just shut the fuck up!” you spring up in bed, clutching the picture frame tightly out of anger.

“my parents wanted me to come here! they knew it was always my dream to come to smu, but after your dumbass self spent all the money we had on your stupid gambling addiction, he had to work a shit ton of jobs just so he could pay for me to go to school! and what did you do? what did you do besides stay at home, unemployed, gossiping with your friends over the phone on the couch every fucking day?” your vision becomes more blurry by the second due to the new rush of tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

your relationship with your dad became a teeny bit rocky after announcing his marriage with lorraine, but it wasn’t completely terrible. you didn’t have the heart to hate your dad for meeting someone new. if anything, you understood that you had to rely on each other more than ever because he’s all you have left and you didn’t want some random lady to get in the way of that.

one day, your dad walks into your room and sits beside you on your bed where he hands you a plane ticket and what looked like an admission’s folder with smu’s crest on the front.

“i’ve saved up enough for your first two years, and i’ll continue working hard so you can finish altogether. i know it’s always been your dream to study at smu and i don’t want you to lose this opportunity because of financial setbacks”

“but i don’t want leave you here dad, i’m fine attending somewhere nearby. i just don’t want you to be alone with her,” you protest as you wrap your arms tightly around him. he leaves a soft kiss on your temple reassuring you that he’ll be fine, and made you promise to call him everyday.

“you’re going to make mom and i proud like you always do, y/n. don’t worry about me, just live your dreams for the both of us”

you aggressively wipe your eyes before continuing to yell into the phone mic.

“if you think you’re my dad’s knight in shining armour who saved him, then you’re so delusional. don't speak about me or my mother again, and for fuck's sake, stop calling me! i don’t need you to check in on me and i don’t need you in my life!” you hang up without letting her utter a word in, making sure to block her number right after. you fall back onto your bed with tears falling one after the other, these ones being out of anger and not sadness.

your phone begins to ring again and you nearly throw it across the room, but seeing that it was your dad calling, you immediately pick it up.

“hi my lo- wait, are you crying? why are you crying, what happened?”

“nothing dad, lorraine just called. again.” you hear your father sigh and watch as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“i’m so sorry sweetie, i tried making it clear to her that you didn’t want her contacting you, but she’s still stubborn as per usual”

“why are you still with her?”

“to be honest, i don’t know. if i knew she was going to act like this, especially with you, i wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. i’m seriously considering filing a divorce,” his response slightly shocks you.

“well, don’t divorce her because of me. if you like her, then you like her and i don’t want to get in the way of that”

“honey, you know you come first before anything and anyone. both you and your mom,” you begin to feel a warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest at the mention of her. it’s silent for a moment before you ask a question you’ve been wanting to ask for sometime now.

“do you miss mom?”

“oh y/n, i miss her every single day. i still can’t find it in my heart to believe she’s really gone”

“you were so in love with her, weren’t you?”

“were? i am still very much in love with her. there is no one else in this world that could possibly make me feel the way your mother did. although there’s a possibility of meeting new people, no one else will come close to her” you smile at the words being spilled by your dad. it was so endearing to hear him speak about his love for your mom and it eases your mind knowing that he hadn’t easily replaced her with someone like lorraine.

“there’s the pretty smile i love so much,” you giggle at your dad's sudden comment, your eyes meeting his own along with his signature big and toothy grin.

“i love you dad”

“i love you too, sweetie. it’s you and mom in my heart forever, okay?” you nod your head and flash him another smile.

“i’m coming home once the semester ends so text me what you want me to bring home”

“that’s my girl! and don’t stress too much. i’m okay, you’re okay, and everything is going to be okay. i got you always,” he blows you a kiss and waves goodbye before hanging up, the anger from earlier dissipating almost immediately.

you don’t realize you’re still holding onto the picture of your mom even after both phone calls. you look at it one more time and replicate the smile that your mother had before giving the picture a soft kiss and placing it back in its spot on the nightstand. with a sudden surge of energy and motivation thanks to your dad, you decide to be productive today and start by cleaning yourself and your room, which was a complete disaster due to midterm season.

once you’ve finished your little reset moment, you hear a knock on the door. you weren’t expecting anyone so you’re taken aback slightly at the sudden visitor. twisting the doorknob with much hesitation, you open the door and find no one there to your surprise. you peek your head out and look in both directions to see who it was, but you only caught glimpse of what looked like a jean jacket turning the corner. at first, you think you were just being pranked but once you look towards the ground, you find a shin ramen cup and some spam with a sticky note reading “don’t skip your meals. you can’t live on coffee and red bull forever - rn” you bring the items in and begin to prepare the food while thinking of who rn could possibly be.

the following days were spent entirely in the library trying to catch up on school work. thankfully, you were able to get your assignments out of the way and you had time to focus on just studying now. you make your way to your usual spot in the library, large coffee in hand and headphones on your head, but you notice someone is already sitting there. you recognize the purple hair that was tied in a messy bun under a familiar black baseball cap. it had been awhile since you fought with the girl, so you were hesitant to approach her and tried to look for other seats in the library. to your demise, other tables and areas were fully occupied except for the seat across from her, so you walked towards the empty spot anyway.

karina has her headphones on as well so she doesn’t hear you approach her. she’s startled once she noticed someone take the seat in front of her, but she’s even more surprised at who takes the seat.

you don’t say anything and even avoid any eye contact with her, but you can feel her piercing gaze as she watches you like a hawk while you unpack your things. as soon as you get settled, karina takes her headphones off and taps you lightly on the hand, motioning for you to take your headphones off too indicating that she wanted to talk. you pause your song and take them off like she requested and karina takes a deep breath before speaking, as she usually does with you.

“i understand if you still do not wish to speak to me after this, but please hear me out this one time” she’s barely whispering and you need to lean in a bit closer to fully hear her. but you stay silent and she takes it as her cue to continue.

“growing up, my mom always pushed me to study and work hard. i rarely left my house, and if i did, it was just with family. when i came here to smu, i finally had the freedom to do whatever i want whenever i want, but unfortunately, that mindset of constantly needing to do well and staying independent still stays with me. i’ve lost a lot of friends because of it; i lost you because of it,” she shyly admits. “but that should not be an excuse for how i’ve been treating you since you got here, and i’m really sorry. you just wanted to be close with me and you wanted to help me but i pushed you away without any warning, which isn’t fair to you at all”

you nod your head when she spoke to show that you were really listening and trying to understand what she was saying. it takes some time to figure out what to say to karina, but she patiently waits for you to formulate your response which surprises her at first.

“you remind me of my mother. she was hardworking, independent, and very beautiful too,” karina’s cheeks feel warm at the sudden compliment and you try to hide your smirk when you see the tips of her ears go red.

“but just like you, she also pushed away those who cared about her the most. even when she was confined to a hospital bed, suffering and hurting, she always told my dad and i that she was fine with the biggest smile on her face. i knew she wasn’t, but she didn’t want us to worry. she didn’t want us to think about when her time finally comes” the girl stays silent just like you did, letting the words fully sink in as she waits for you to continue.

“but if there’s anything thing my mom taught me, it’s to not give up on people so easily which is why i kept trying to be friends with you. looking at it now, maybe i came off way too strong at first with all the gifts, and it’s my fault for not realizing that. but like you said, it doesn’t excuse your behaviour towards me” karina purses her lips and brings her head down, ashamed to face you because of her past actions. but she quickly shoots her head up and asks if there's anything she could do to make it up to you.

“let me take you on a date” karina’s eyes widen and her cheeks are fully flushed, you can’t help but smirk at the girl.

“a date? like, a romantic date? or-”

“it doesn’t need to be romantic. just two people, getting to know each other and seeing where it takes them” karina regains composure and tries to act like she didn’t just freak out a second ago.

“do you have a crush on me, y/n?” she says with fake confidence.

“you intrigue me," you admit bluntly. "i want to know more about the campus goddess and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t think of you from time to time”

“well, i could say the same thing. i wouldn’t have gone out of my way to feed you if i didn’t have any interest in you,” you raise your eyebrow in confusion, unsure of what she meant. you don’t recall talking to karina prior to this conversation so it was practically impossible for her to have fed you. it’s karina’s turn to smirk as she finds your confusion slightly amusing, but it immediately clears up once she messily attempts to write rn upside down in your notebook. you simply smile at the memory of finding food in front of your door.

the rest of your time in the library is spent studying because you learned you both had been slacking off due to the emotional distress of being angry at each other. you agreed to study for a few hours before grabbing a bite to eat together, and as you watch a focused purple-haired campus goddess scrunch her nose while trying to write her study notes, you realize that college was going to be one hell of an experience after all.

a/n: i am so sorry this took so long to put out.... but i hope u enjoyed it nonetheless :') i love u all sm

[themostlesbianever]

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN ALL MY 9-1-1 THOUGHTS IN ONE POST

(i forgot to do this until the tommy started talking about how his ex ran off with someone half her age)

- okay but we knew maddie would want another kid

- i predicted it

- NO WAY TOMMY DO NOT SAY IT

- TOMMY IS NOT ABBYS EX

- NO

- FUCKING

- WAY

- OH MY LORD THEY ACTUALLY DID IT

- bless you

- bless you

- damn

- OH MY LORD THERE GOES HIS INTESTINES

- hihi spilled his guts

- ahw ur shirt is ruined☹️

- hen screentime crumbs😋

- i will eat up every single hen screentime crumb i can get

- (every screentime crumb where she is at peace/happy)

- that is crazy maddie

- HOW MANY MEN SHE TURNED GAY😭😭😭

- hihi josh fishing for tea

- i love josh the gossip magnet

- oh now buck is doubting tommy

- lets not

- oh buck baby

- so i think tommy had a gf just to have one, like because of his surroundings and shit, but its good he broke it off before marriage, he definitely should have before an engagement tho

- also i just KNOW people are gonna throw shit at tommy for this and im not excited

- the dreaded c word care

- "i CARE about good sole support"- hen (i think that was the line)

- JOSH I LOVE YOU

- oh josh babe you are so right

- YES JOSH

- SINGLE HANDEDLY ENDING TOMMY HATRED

- well people are still gonna hate but like, hes so right

- tommy had it so much harder and did things to protect himself he definitely isn't proud of and now it looks bad because a lot of people dont have to do tjose things to protect themselves anymore

- "do you want me to read you a story" oh maddie i love you

- not 9-1-1 but someone is setting off HELLA fireworks and its not even fully dark yet

- i HATE fireworks, yeah theyre pretty but theyre torture for ao many wild animals AND me

- back to 9-1-1

- did it almost kill maddie??

- oh wait yes, not the pregnancy and birth but after

- oops sorry maddie

- hard times for madney😔

- STOP CHIM NO MAKING ME CRY

- uh oh maddie is worrying

- RIPPED TANK TOP EDDIE

- YOURE SO GAY EDDIE

- OMG HOT PASTOR

- FUCK BUDDIE I NEED EDDIE x HOT PASTOR

- "no offence im straight" BOY!!?!????

- no you aint

- yes father but he could be your daddy

- IM SO SORRY I CANT SAY THAT

- oh god therapy time

- yea eddie you dont feel worthy of juice

- very handsome moustache

- OH MY GOD IS EDDIES MOUSTACHE GONNA BURN OFFF??

- PLEASE PUT IT ON FIRE JUST ENOUGH SO IT CANT BE SAVED

- "do" something that makes you feel joy, how about DO a man and make some realisations about yourself babes

- WORM

- would you still love me if i was a worm

- dont be a baby man he is a baby

- jack😔

- "a billion tons" STOP THATS ADORABLE

- eddie you are NOT going down a pipe again

- YES LITTLE MAN

- whats with this season and little hero boys

- they actually put a kid down the pipe omg

- please actually save this kid my lord this is stressful

- GET HIM

- YOU CAN DO IT MILES

- WORM

- WE ARE WORMS

- BE A WORM

- HELL YEAH

- chim is 100% telling maddie he wants another kid now

- hen you are adorable oh my lord

- tommy ur so adorable

- uh oh

- UH OH

- this has got to be the hurdle

- HES THE HIMBO

- that is SO crazy

- look at them being all open and having a cute little talk

- UNTIL NOW

- IS THIS AN I LOVE YOU MOMENT??????

- ahw tommy

- WOAH

- HELLO MOVE IN YES

- MORE GAY

- oh youre doing to much buck

- so sweet

- OH

- TOMMY STOP WHAT

- it is new

- tommy youre very right actually you are his first

- tommy is actually so right because buck is moving too fast

- buck isnt ready himself like he figured out he was bi like a week ago (not literally)

- WHAT NO YOU DIDNT

- god damn it the bucktommy haters got what they wanted

- fuck off so many buddie fans are gonna be so miserable and annoying

- OH HE CALLED HIM BUCK

- i hope we get to see more tommy

- like he comes back sometimes for a rescue or for advice for chimney or something

- WOAH CHIM NO TALKING ABOUT DEATH OVER HERE

- maddies eyebrows are so expressive i love it

- OMG WE KNEW THIS

- PERGANT

- BOMB

- ahw cuties

- OMG MIRROR SCENE

- they gave us literally like everything weve been talking about

- oh eddie what are you doing

- PLEASE MAKE CHRIS COME HOME AND WALK IN ON THIS

- wait no that would mean more trauma

- this man is CRAZY

- someone has a GOT to walk in on this no?

- oh maybe buck being all sad like "my hot boyfriend broke up with me☹️"

- i really hope IF they make buddie happen they dont do it yet, maybe next season because its too soon for both of them to be dating

- no walking in but there is someone there

- eddie put on some pants man

- it is sad buck

- ☹️

- i am not excited for all those insufferable buddie fans/ bucktommy haters to come and hate on tommy for every single line he said

[scarlettsandmaroons]

midnight rain | n. romanoff

about me | series masterlist | natasha romanoff masterlist

pairing: professor!natasha romanoff x collegestudent!reader

chapter eleven | chapter twelve: it came like a postcard

chapter summary: sometimes, weather forecasts can be wrong; yours said it would be sunny yet a storm came. the same way the bestest days can take a turn for the worst. you'd never choose rain. you did it once and now you're lost. but when you are, the sun always comes. and it envelops you in its warmth. it finds you, it makes you follow it, and you're secure. you'd must always choose the sun.

warnings: angst; non-aggressive fighting, guilt.

a/n: i know it took so long, but im too busy!!! i barely have time for anything so please understand! this took so little time actually, i wrote this in class for 30 minutes, and while i do hate the way i wrote it (for some reason i could never write proper angst?) my creative juices won't allow me for more. so please bear with me. ALSO, LITERALLY ONE CHAPTER AWAY FROM THE ENDING, YAY US.

a few months ago, you attended a sophomore party around the first few days of your sophomore year. it was at the university, in the event hall which happened past midnight where none of the teachers would have known the drinking, the dancing, and the sex on each corner of the space. 

of course, natasha knew about it. she always knew everything. more so if it's something about you. you weren't supposed to go. but you and natasha had a small argument the day before the party—something about the way she so boldly touches you even when people were around. so to get your mind of it, you went; to get back at her, you didn't tell her and planned on going home drunk; and to taunt her, you wore the most absurdly revealing outfit in your dresser. 

you were expecting to go home to her waiting for you in a robe and red wine, as she usually does when you come home past midnight. but she didn't. a few shots, and some minutes of dirty dancing later, you were pulled off the dance floor but her harsh grip, and everyone stunned at the professor's actions. 

she pulled you in her office, trapped you between her and the desk, and when you thought she'd lecture you, she didn't. she dropped her forehead on your shoulder, and she bathed you in her warmth. 

she told you she loved you. that she loved you so much. that she loved you dearly, sincerely, desperately. and the next day, you woke up with flowers and a bottle of her perfume on your bed. you need not a note to know what she was implying—you can try to grind on every person you want, but they'd know. 

that's been your routine after every fight. 

flowers, and a present. 

today was undeniably one of the best days ever. granted, you and natasha had a little argument the night before, but that's what led you to the flower shop for the first time. you spent an hour smelling every plant; feeling the difference between the patterns of every petal; basking in the colors of the life the surrounds you. 

and then you rode a bike to the mall. it wasn't your bike, it was wanda's old one from when she and vision had just moved to westview. but you found it in the shed. and with the flowers you bought in its little brown basket, you went toe to toe with the massive cars driving right next to you. and somehow, you felt like you were saving the world. 

wanda, that morning, cooked you breakfast. and then she gave you ice cream in a bowl as dessert which doesn't happen at all. wanda can be a nag about health, and you often find the domesticity of having a mother nag you for eating junk very endearing, but it never hurts to have ice cream. and did you jump out in joy when she handed you a bowl. 

billy wasn't home. wanda sent him to an errand outside westview. but he left you a sweet note and a sandwich on your bedside table before he left, and before you woke up. he should be home long past 12pm though, which would give you the very opportunity to make it right with your girlfriend before he comes back. 

she wasn't here. 

she's never here when she gets into a fight with you. she cools off her head, gives you your space, then she comes back to talk. 

you assume that's how she'd always been, even with wanda given that she did use to live away from her family that you assume is because of a blowout. you never asked. and you knew she didn't want you to.

you bought her flowers and a scented candle that smelled like your favorite perfume. something that she can put in the office that's been home to too much of your sins, and overflowing with so much of your love. 

the sun was out, and for the first time, it didn't seem to burn. it was just... warm. no chance of rain, said the weather forecast. 

but of course, sometimes, they're wrong. 

"do you know i cheated on natasha with vision?" 

and it rained. 

"sorry, what?" 

the moment you closed the door behind you, and right after wanda called for you in the kitchen, it poured. harsh, angry rain. 

"it was over a year ago," wanda clarifies. "natasha was getting too busy with work, and vision happens to drop by." 

"wanda, i don't—"

"and i slept with him." 

you stiffed. your chest tightened, and the grip you had on the bouquet you couldn't be bothered to hide behind you became strained.

you weren't sure why wanda was telling you. neither did you want her to. but suddenly you feel for natasha. like that very thing wanda did was enough to justify and save natasha from every argument, every fight, every bad thing between you two. 

"wanda, i really don't know why you're telling me this," you whisper, voice shaking, resisting. "i think it's none of my business." 

you didn't know what to do, what to feel. wanda cheated on natasha. and natasha is cheating right back. should it be called even? you couldn't say. the anger of knowing what natasha had to go through, vs wanda... your mother. sweet sweet wanda. you justified wanda in your heart. 

she was standing behind the kitchen island, looking at the yard over the floor to ceiling windows. and then she turns to you, pauses when she sees the flowers and paper bag in your hands. 

she smiles, tiredly. "is that for her?" 

you didn't have to be asked twice. your mind didn't scramble for an excuse either. surprisingly, no "for who?" or "it's for billy". just silence. 

she looks at you. 

she knew. 

her eyes stayed the exact same green shade as they were earlier. or yesterday. or the many days before that. there was nothing different. she looked the same. but she knew. 

you'd already betrayed her, you couldn't lie to her. and your mind didn't allow you to even dig through your raging thoughts for an apology. 

and she beats you to it. "i'm sorry," she tells you; her voice raspy, coated in what pain you could feel her hide. 

all thoughts left your body. and you weren't sure why it was only now that guilt surged through your every vein, every muscle. 

you might have not chosen natasha, but a part of you knew that she would choose you. that she would always choose you. and somehow, that was able to keep you in your bubble. to spare you the guilt. to keep you safe. knowing that while you would choose wanda, that you would do what's right; she wouldn't. she would choose you. even if it's wrong. and that makes the weight of your sin much much lighter. 

"wanda i—" she gave you the chance. she stayed silent. she waited, she hoped, she looked at you with eager eyes. but you couldn't say anything. you didn't say anything. 

she walked closer to you. you could tell her knees were weak, barely carrying the weight of her body. then she smiled, a sad comforting smile. like when she told you what she'd done to your mother. like when she offered you a way out. 

you yelled in your mind. screamed. the voice begged to be ousted; 

don't touch me. 

don't touch me, wanda. 

please, it's my fault. 

don't smile at me. 

slap me. curse me. swear at me. 

throw me away.

force me to go. 

don't... 

please don't be nice. 

please don't smile. 

please... 

don't make it harder for me...

you stayed silent. 

something about the way her eyes sparkled with threatening tears made you feel a sense of home and longing. like the feeling you get when you know you'd have to travel the next day so you clean your home, and enjoy the few hours you have in your room. and you feel at peace. the dread, the excitement, and the longing. you feel everything all at once. 

"i'm sorry," she tells you again. raising her visibly shaking hand to caress your cheek. you didn't know what to do. you froze. "i was supposed to protect you, i was supposed to be your mother," her voice decreased to a whisper. but you still heard the way it cracked. the way it got stuck in her throat. "it's all my fault." 

and your heart broke. your heart broke for her. your heart broke for the crying eyes staring into you—the same ones the would shine when seeing her wife, or would sparkle when billy gives her a hug. your heart broke for the hurting mother. for your hurting mother. for the mother you hurt. 

"wanda, it's not...," you whisper.

she stuttered for words. avoiding your eyes, struggling to keep her composure, "i really love her," she cries. "and i needed her. and she wasn't here. and i was desperate."

she was defending herself for a crime she didn't commit. you're supposed to be the one justifying. you're supposed to be the one crying—looking at her with grieving eyes. 

but how could you? what could you say? 

i didn't love her, wanda. but i would long for her touch, crave for her lips, burn for her warmth the same way i long for air, and crave for love, and burn for every bit of earth that falls on my skin.  

i didn't love her, wanda. but when i go to heaven, and god tells me that this very sin is what would send me to hell, i'll tell him how ironic it was to have the only heaven i'd ever known be what would send me to burn down in hell. 

i didn't love her, wanda. 

but i did. 

oh how i did. 

"i'm sorry....," you finally say. you finally gathered the courage, the words, the thoughts to apologize. may it be the wrong ones, for the wrong person, but you were sorry for tolerating natasha. you were sorry for the indulgence. you were sorry for granting yourself the heaven when you were only meant to stay on earth. 

you were sorry for natasha. for everything that you did. but not for loving her. never for loving her. 

"no, darling i...," how could she call me that? "it's my fault. i should've—i should've known. i should've realized. you should have never been in that situation if i—"

"wanda what are you—"

"she wouldn't have used you."

she wouldn't have used you. 

she wouldn't have used you. 

she wouldn't have used you. 

she wouldn't have used you. 

but she loved me...

"at least it—it wouldn't have...," she choked. "it wouldn't have gotten this far, i—" 

she told me she loved me. she whispered it to me in bed, she wrote it to me in class, she moaned it in my ear. she loved me. 

"you were a kid, i—"

she wasn't looking at you. she was avoiding your eyes, guilt surging through her body, and pain glinting her eyes. she was shaken up, she was confused. and you... you were lost. 

"i married a beautiful woman. she is kind, she is thoughtful, she is caring," and she loved her deeply. you could hear it from her voice. and see it with the way a smile crept her face through her tears. the thought of her alone is enough to put her in a trance, in her own little bubble. 

and then the bubble pops. and she looks back at you, unaware that she'd been looking away. "i...," she searches for words, looking in your soul; holding it, hugging it through the windows of your eyes. "i didn't think she'd be the kind to... take advantage of a child so she could get back at me." 

i didnt think she'd be the kind to take advantage of a child so she could get back at me.

i didn't think she'd be the kind to take advantage of a child so she could get back at me.

i didn't think she'd be the kind to take advantage of a child so she could get back at me.

suddenly the memory of her touch burns your skin. the memory of her kisses slices you. the memory of her, and everyday of the past year, and you, and the both of you—suddenly, everything was hell. and you were on fire. 

your ear rings. 

she used you.

she loved me. 

she was using you for revenge.

she loved me. 

she took advantage of you. 

she loved me. 

she pretended. 

she asked me to run away. she loved me.

she's taking it too far. 

she told me she loved me. 

did she really?

no. 

"she loved me," you resisted her touch. you moved away from her. you insisted, you screamed, you cried. "she loved me wanda." 

you saw pain through the wrinkles on her face. you saw pain for the family she's losing, and pity for the daughter she'd come to love as her own. she grieved for her family. and mourned for your innocence in your place. 

you saw it overtake her—the broken woman whose family's at loss overtake the sweet mother who'd cared for you for over a year. and more as a child. you saw it glint her eyes, the change from pity to anger. 

"she loved me...," you cried, dropping to the floor. 

you knew she was torn. should it be pity that you loved her wife, or anger that you loved her wife. she was fighting in her head. you can see the way she defended you in her own mind. you were just a kid that her wife took advantage of. but also, you were the stain in the family that she's been trying to fix.  

you didn't know which one won, which side of her. the subtle cruelty of the way she dropped an envelope on the floor to your knees, and the love that it was to crouch to your level and look at you. 

"you're breaking my family...," she told you. "i can't let you do that anymore." 

you wonder which wanda your talking to. while her words were thorned, her voice was coated with the love of a mother. 

"this is enough to get your mother out of the hospital, and last you until you graduate."

she had kept a distance between you two, especially when she stood up. she's calmer now as if she'd already decided. 

"for what it's worth...," she trailed off. "i wish you never had to hurt billy."

the fight is over. you were the kid who her wife took advantage of, and let it happen. you were the woman who betrayed her son. and she hates you. like a mother who hates her child: forever.

just like that, you were out of the house you'd called your home for the last year, and under the blazing storm. you were lost. 

"y/n!" 

until your beacon shines again. 

"oh my lord, what are you doing outside!" 

billy runs over you from his car with an umbrella. he hadn't heard. but he takes you in his arms, and wraps you around his coat. "i left early," he whispers. "what happened?"

you were lost. you always had been. but billy always found you. and you always followed him. you were lost as a child, and followed billy to his home. you were lost after graduation, and followed him to university. you're lost now. and you knew you'd chosen well. because he always found you. 

[softtdaisy]

CRUEL LOVE - CHARLES LECLERC

DESCRIPTION I They always teach you how love can be beautiful and magic. They never prepare you for the tragic part. When you love someone so much you had to let them go.

PAIRING I Charles Leclerc × reader

WORDS COUNT I 2,7k

A/N I Oh my god. This is the first time I'm writing for Charles, I'm super nervous about it??? But I watch Friends the other day and  the break up scene with Monica and Richard inspired me...so enjoy. I guess. I'll pay for the tissues. (i didn't proofread it im sorry)

This was supposed to be the perfect lovely day. For everyone. For you.

Being surrounded by amazing and beautiful people. Enjoying the perfect Spanish landscape that make the environment so dreamy, like a fairytale. Having fun with your friends and your boyfriend. Imagining what could be your very own future one day.

Yes, it was supposed to be like that.

“Congratulations!” you shouted when Isa and Carlos finally approached you. They looked absolutely gorgeous. But you didn’t except less from them for their wedding day. They both looked like they came out from the perfect romcom with those creators’ clothes, their perfect hair and just the pure joy on their face. Isa was a pure princess and you wanted to cry just looking at her.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” She told you when she took you in her arms. She smelled like happiness and delight. Just another proof of how love can be magical. You held her tight, to make her feel all your joy for their wedding. And trying to steal some of her happiness too. “Like I could miss your wedding day? No way.”

When you started dating Charles two years ago, she was the first person in the paddock who came to you to make sure you felt comfortable. She’d been there before, and she didn’t want you to feel rejected. And your boyfriends being in the same team quite help with the whole mentor thing.

When she told you Carlos had proposed to her, you cried like it was your own proposal. It was such evidence that these two were made for each other. There was no way you would miss their wedding day.

Not when you could come with your boyfriend and live that beautiful day together. Not when you would spend the daydreaming about your own wedding by his arms.

Nothing could have made you missed it.

Yeah, nothing. You knew that now.

“They’re started to take the family and couple pictures, the photograph will call you in a minute or two.” Carlos told Charles but you heard it too. For a second, you looked at each other. The connection between the two of you was so strong that you knew you both thought the same thing. And then, you both came to the same conclusion.

For once, you were happy that Isa was too overwhelmed by her own happiness that she didn’t notice that moment.

And they were right. Less than two minutes after that, you had to let the couple go their next guests because you were excepted for the pictures. At any other moment in your life, someone would have pointed out how Charles and you were different. There was a small space between you. One that was never there before. At such a romantic event, they would expect him to have an arm around your shoulder or his hand literally holding yours. But Charles wasn’t touching you. And it was better like that. The less you had to pretend, the less difficult it would be to face the truth.

“Tu veux rentrer? Do you want to go home?” Charles asked when he finally put his arm around your waist. You were now facing the photographer and there was no way you could act distant when those pictures would be seen by everyone. No matter the outcome of the day. You let yourself come closer for the picture, for the idea of the perfect couple you still wanted to give.

“No, it’s their day. We can’t do that.” You whispered before putting on your biggest smile. You even put a hand on Charles’ chest.

There was something crazy with how you had to think about every gesture that used to be automatic before. You never thought about how you should act around Charles. You couldn’t remember the number of pictures you took with him for official events. Those pictures were always loved by the fan because you looked naturally in love. Laughing and smile at each other, with genuine and sweet gestures. But today, nothing felt natural.

“Could you look at each other please?” the photographer asked. You felt Charles’ hands shaking on you for a brief second, like it was too much to ask right now. But you both knew you had to play pretend. So, you turned to face him. Oh, how you missed when you used to look at the man you love and see all the delight of being by your side in his eyes. It was crazy to miss something you were witnessing that morning.

Now all you could see was sadness.

“Smile.” You whispered, putting a hand on his cheek. He immediately huddled against it, trying to find some comfort in your touch. You both had sad smiles on your face. Or what could be interpreted as soft ones. You could see the flash out of the corner of your eye, so you guessed you were showing enough love. But there was so much more. So many things unsaid. So many tears that were waiting to fall for the both of you.

It was cruel.

It was cruel to understand you had no future with the person you love on your best friend’s wedding day.

It all started when you were getting dressed for the day. Isa and Carlos had rented a beautiful and massive house for their closed guests. Needless to say, you had a gorgeous room with a just as gorgeous view. You probably could have stayed there for days if you weren’t there for a wedding. And you assumed that you and Charles would enjoy that room a little longer on the morning after.  The idea of waking up by his sides, cuddling against his naked chest, enjoying the sunshine on your naked skin, the glow of his brown hair making him a pure piece of art was driving you crazy since you arrived yesterday.

“Hi Charles” you heard a little voice say in your back. You turned around, just like your boyfriend, and faced an adorable little boy. You already knew it was one of Carlos’ nephews, you had seen him at some races before. And your heart melted when Charles kneeled down to talk to him. “Hi buddy.”

They started talking and getting ready had never been that hard for you. You could stop looking at them and taking pictures. Charles was so good with children. At that moment, you knew you had chosen the right man for the rest of your life.

Or so you thought.

When he came back to you, he kissed your hair with so much love. Nothing could have prepared the two of us for what was coming. “Isn’t he adorable?”

“He is!” you replied with a high-pitched voice. “I can’t wait to have our own child.” You added before going back to your mirror and your mascara.

You didn’t really expect any kind of answer. But you never imagined you would face a menacing silence. You waited a good minute before facing Charles, frowning. “You disagree?” you asked with a little amusement in your voice.

“Je ne savais pas que tu voulais des enfants. I didn’t know you wanted children.“ Was all he said. But he could have hit you, it would have hurt and surprised you just the same.

“Well…yeah. It has always been my plan to have some one day. Rather sooner than later, if I may say.” You laughed. It was a nervous laugh. The one you made hoping it would change the mood in the room. But it didn’t.

Charles sat on the sofa at the other end of the room. He never felt more distant. Even when you were staying at Monaco and he was racing on another continent he felt closer.  “We never talked about this.” You had no idea if he said that for you or for himself. Like he realized this was never brought up by any of you. He was right about that.

The thing was that you both assumed the other was thinking the same.

“Charles.” You said, walking up to him. Each step was more difficult than the precedent. It was like walking towards a danger. You knew you should walk away. You should avoid this. But you couldn’t resist. You had to. “You don’t want children?” you asked with a little voice. Ironically, you did sound like a child right now. Scared of asking for something his parent would say no to.

Scared of asking your boyfriend the truth because you knew it would change everything.

Charles didn’t answer. It took him a few seconds to look up at him. He didn’t speak. But his eyes said it all. No.

You put a hand to your mouth and sat next to him before falling to your knees. How could that possible? How could you have missed that information?

“It’s not…it’s not that I don’t want to. Like not all at. I just…I can’t imagine having a family and being away. I can’t imagine having a family and risking abandoning you or them. I can’t…No. Je peux pas faire ça. I can’t do it.” You saw the sincerity in his eyes. Or you think you did but since you started crying, maybe it was just a blurry vision.

When Charles tried to put a hand to your face to brush those tears away, you put his hand away. “Why did you never tell me?” You felt betrayed, in some kind of way. It wasn’t fair to assume everyone wants children, of course. But since you never had this conversation, you stupidly thought Charles would be hiding something like that. The amount of time you talked about a future together, he never even alluded to his non-wish.

“We never talked about it, you just assumed I wanted children.” He replied, shrugging. You could understand the logical behind this. But today, you were just facing the truth: you were no on the same page for something so important for you.

“And you assumed I didn’t?”

You got up again, walking and trying to understand the mess that was going on right now. You tried to rethink this, to interpretate exactly what you both said to find the light and the solution. But when you put your eyes on Charles everything was just so clear.

That man that you love. That gorgeous man, sitting here, with his hair still messy, his tie waiting to be done around his neck and his shirt opened, and his glossy eyes that showed you just as hurt he was. That man that you thought would be the love of your life.

That man didn’t want the same future as you.

“So, what now?” you asked. You needed some help. But Charles wasn’t ready to give you some. Because he was just as lost as you were.

“What do you mean, what now? You want children, I don’t. Either one of us accept to change its mind or…”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Isa’s maid of honor entered the room to see if you were ready. You told her you just needed a few minutes. But she didn’t leave the room, so you went back to your makeup to try and make you look happier.

You never finished that conversation.

You were just left with the feeling that this couldn’t end well.

Most of the reception went so quickly you almost forgot about your fight with Charles and the whole situation. A few times, you even forgot that you were pretended to be happy. You just were, holding each other’s hands or laughing together like nothing happened.

At least you did until the first dance. Once Isa and Carlos did their dance and made everyone agree that they were once again just a royal couple, it was time for the other couples to go. It was a kind of tradition: Isa’s parents were already there and so was Carlos Senior with his wife.  

You weren’t sure Charles would want to go. Maybe it was too much. Too close, too romantic, too…fake. You would have understand if you had stayed sit and probably would have found the perfect excuse for your friends.

So, you were surprised when he offered you a hand. “You’re sure?” you asked so softly it was a miracle Charles heard you. He just nodded and point to the middle of the room. After all, you needed that. You would have regret not enjoying that moment with Charles, no matter the situation or your feelings.

He put his hand at the end of your back, the other one holding yours. Your put your head against his shoulders and holding him as much as you could. There were playing a Spanish love song you didn’t know but feeling Charles’s heart against yours let you know that those words were speaking to the both of you.

“Écoutes…si tu veux un bébé, alors je le ferais. Listen, if you want a baby, i’ll do it.” Charles whispered in your ear suddenly.

You stepped backwards, just enough to face him. “What?” you asked, frowning. This was not the outcome you had prepare yourself to. And it never occurred you that Charles would choose this moment to talk about it. Was it the reason he asked to dance? So you could talk about that?

“Yes” he started, bringing his hand to your face to put a piece of hair behind your ear. “I love you and if this baby can save our relationship, then fine. I’ll do it.” You felt your heart squeezing.

“But, you don’t want one Charles.”

“Yes, but I love you.” The way his voice flinched at the end was enough. You could tell how much it meant to him. How big his love for you was. Just as big as yours was, actually. And this was why it was even harder to accept this.

You closed the gap between you two to put a soft and gentle kiss on his lips. It could have stayed like that, if a tear didn’t fall from your eye and rolled down his cheek. You felt his hand caressing your cheek softly once you put your forehead against his. This was just an intimate moment in the middle of a crowded room. What a good representation of what your relationship always felt like.

“I love you too.” You felt your voice cracking. “That’s why I can’t accept that.”

“Why?” and maybe it was the most heartbreaking part. The moment you were looking right into Charles eyes. The moment you knew what was going to happen. The moment he knew what was going to happen. The moment none of you could do anything about it.

They always teach you how love can be beautiful and magic. You saw it all day long.

They never prepare you for the tragic part. When you love someone so much you have to accept, you’re not good for each other.

“I won’t have a baby with someone with doesn’t want one.” He opened his mouth but saw in your eyes that it wasn’t the right moment to talk. “I love you more than anything. But I won’t let you do that because you feel like you have to.”

Charles looked up, something he always do when he tried to save his tears from falling. You hated yourself for that. But when he looked back at you and offered you a sweet small smile, you knew he didn’t hate you. You didn’t let him sacrifice his life for you. And neither did you sacrifice your life for him. You made the most difficult and hurtful choice, but the most reasonable one. One that Charles probably wouldn’t have been able to make.

It wasn’t until you were back in his arms that it occurred you.

“So, what now?” you cried against his shoulder. Yes, the decision was taken. But were you going to do now that the end was near?

“Restons heureux et amoureux au moins pour ce soir. We stay happy and in love at least for tonight.” He replied before kissing your hair.

That was what you did. For some reasons, you felt lighter for the rest of the night. Because you knew that for the rest of the day, you won’t have to pretend anything. You were still in love. You were still happy together. You could laugh, kiss each other and dance together like normal couples do. You could hold each other’s hands, knowing you would be sleeping in the same bed and probably make love for the last time in a few hours.

Because next morning, you would have to let each other go. But not tonight.

follow @softtdaisywords​ to know when new stories are released 🤍

[child-of-the-sky-people]

hi Ali! im looking for a new narrative podcast to get into, what's your current rec list? :)

Oh god it’s so long 😂

Horror:

Human Error - this one is mine so of course I’m recommending it 😂 it’s about a found family of survivors going on a road trip during a zombie apocalypse 12 years after the world ended!

We’re Alive - also zombie horror and was the show that got me into audio dramas! It’s very long and looks overwhelming but I promise it’s good!

Darkest Night - anthology horror where you find out how people died but each case is actually related and there is a bigger mystery and this show lives in my head rent free lol

The Waystation - found footage style show about a group of people on a space station that all died (the story is trying to piece together what happened). It’s along the same lines as The White Vault

DERELICT - a research group are studying a door at the bottom of the ocean, and then shit goes sideways. I binged this series super fact and I need season 2 immediately lol

The Eleventh Hour episode called The City of Statues - I made this! It’s about a group of survivors trying to make it out of a city filled with statues trying to hunt them down 👀

Someone Dies in this Elevator - mix of horror and thriller I think. It’s an anthology series where every episode someone dies in an elevator 👀 I composed for a few episodes and it’s v fun 🤩

Thriller

The Liberty Podcast - made by the same folks behind The White Vault and VAST Horizon. It’s an anthology series of stories taking place within and surrounding a tower where a civilization lives. Some episodes might lean more towards horror but I personally consider it more thriller

The Walk - made by the same folks behind zombies run! In this show you the listener are the main character, an individual making their way across Scotland with a package they were mistakenly delivered. I love this show so much omg

Primordial Deep - scientists are finding extinct dinosaurs alive and well under the ocean and they’re trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. I fucking love this show omg

Spines - woman wakes up in the middle of a cult ritual with no memories and is trying to figure out who she is and where she came from. Also there are powers!

Mirrors - same person behind Spines! Three women from three different centuries (who are all related to each other) discover they can communicate with each other through ghost like figures. It has a bigger mystery and the ending made me cry it was so good

InCo - a woman finds a prince from a world that shouldn’t exist floating in space. This show is a delight and is a micro series and I love the humor within it so much omg

Where the Stars Fell - the Antichrist is roommates with their guardian angel and they’re trying to stop the rapture

DUST - anthology series about science fiction and technology! Season 3 is definitely my favorite as it is one story but the entire show as a whole is very good

Feel Good/Light Hearted Shows

Unseen - this show lives in my head rent free and I ache for it to be real. It’s about magic existing in the real world and is an anthology! It’s made by the same folks behind Wolf 359

Joy to the World - holiday series I helped produce! It’s about an astronaut named Joy talking with different people on Earth about the holidays! It’s an anthology and v warm and I highly recommend it as a holiday series

Sidequesting - a person who is totally not the hero is avoiding the main plot and going on a bunch of side quests! It’s charming and lovely and made by the wonderful Tal

Back Again, Back Again - a woman is retelling her stories of his magical world she was transported into and about the prophecy she became involved in

If none of these are your jam lmk and I can suggest some more! If you tell me what you like to listen to/what kinds of stories you enjoy I can make a more personalized list

[nightghoul381]

*KICKS DOWN THE DOOR TO YOUR ASK BOX*

HI ITS ME IM THE PROBLEM ITS ME

okay okay okay so SO SO FLUFFY SILVIO IDEAS i have a lot it was very hard to select one so i kinda combined a few ideas into a general THIS KINDA THING

UHM BUT BUT

how about something suuuuper soft with some dancing and cuddles and and and just something so sweet and fluffy like a big ball of candy floss... maybe mc gets a lil drunk so she's freer with her feelings and gets VERY SOFT AND SAPPY ON HIM

ahhhhhhhh (/▽＼*)｡o○♡

ahh i feel like a hyper lil puppy GJOEGOHREGHJO heehehehheehheheeheheheh

Here you go love! Fluffy Silvio just for you 😊😊😊 I hope you like it!!

Silvio POV x Reader Fluff WC~ 1k

Ahh, damn it. I knew I shoulda been keeping a closer eye on you. I swear I leave you alone for one second and you’re so drunk I can hear your laugh from across the room.

Sweeping my gaze through the crowd, I finally see you, surrounded by some of the noblewomen you’ve befriended since coming with me to Benitoite. Your cheeks are so pink and the smile on your face so genuinely happy I have to fight back the jealousy that starts clawing its way out.

You turn your face and meet my eyes and somehow your expression seems to light up even more. I don’t even try to hide the satisfied smirk that comes to my face, knowing I make you so much happier than anyone else feels amazing.

We meet up in the middle of the room and you’re nearly bouncing with excitement.

“My wonderful Prince, love of my life, guardian of my heart!” You exclaim, grabbing my hand and holding it to your heart.

I jerk my hand away, blushing furiously. As I struggle to calm myself I feel you clutching my arm and pressing a kiss to my shoulder.

“Ack! don’t do that. You’re gonna get lipstick all over my clothes.” I grumble. I’m not really that upset and you’re completely unbothered as you start twirling around, dress flaring from your hips.

“Can we dance? Please?” You plead, looking up at me with those damned gorgeous eyes. I can’t say no to you under normal circumstances, but when you’re like this I just want to keep that child-like joy on your face. You’re too fuckin’ cute for your own good.

“Yeah, we can dance.”

I barely have a chance to react as you throw yourself into my arms, giggling happily. You reach up tugging my shoulders down and press a kiss to my lips.

Ah, shit… Everyone can see us! I try to pull back gently but your grip is ridiculous tonight and you keep working your lips against mine, letting you tongue dart out here and there, knowing how flustered it makes me. My face is getting hot, really hot, I gotta put a stop to this. I end up grabbing your wrists, freeing myself from the onslaught and pulling you behind me.

I ain’t riskin’ you pulling that kind of stunt again. I march us right back to my room and don’t release you until the door is closed behind me.

Turning to face you, my heart drops. You’re sat on the floor, looking so dejected and upset and… damn it.

“Why’re you so sad looking? You’re the one who attacked me in front of all those people.” I huff, trying to figure out why you’d be reacting this way.

“But you said we could dance.”

Your voice is quiet, but I can still tell you were letting yourself get choked up over the disappointment.

Letting out a sigh, I drop to my knees beside you. You start to turn toward me but end up hitting me in the face with your hair as you whip your head the other way. You’re mad now, great…

“Can you at least look at me when I’m tryin’ to make ya feel better?” I mumble, reaching out, gently cupping your cheek with my hand and putting just enough pressure to get you to finally look my way.

I nearly burst out laughing as I catch sight of your grumpy expression, but I just barely manage to keep it in. You’d be so mad if I started laughing, but you’re so goddamn adorable I can’t stop the smile that springs to my lips.

“That’s better. I wanted to tell ya that just because we ain’t at the party anymore doesn’t mean we can’t still dance. If we go out on the balcony, you can still hear the music and everything.” I offer, but you still don’t seem entirely convinced so I add, “This way I don’t have to stop ya kissin’ or touchin’ me or whatever…”

Then I see your face morph into a victorious smirk.

“Haha, I’ve got permission now!” You cheer, jumping up and throwing your arms around me.

“Gahh! You little shit! Were you playin’ me this whole time?!”

“Like a fiddle,” you snicker into my ear, peppering my face with kisses.

You wanna play that game? Count me in. I sweep my arm under your legs, rising to my feet and carrying you out onto the balcony.

“I meant you don’t have to stop while we’re dancing. So, you only have permission while we’re dancin’, got it?” I state, setting you down and fixing you with a challenging stare.

The playful look on your face remains as you once again launch yourself at me, locking your arms around my neck.

“Dance with me, Silvio.”

I place my hands on your waist, yours on my arms. In no time we’re swaying in time to the distant music, my forehead pressed against yours. Everything seems to fall away as you rise to your toes and press the sweetest kiss to my lips.

Your eyes are filled with so much love as you pull back it’s almost dizzying. Never before has anyone shown me even a fraction of the love you’ve given me, and you just keep showing me more.

“I love you so much, Silvio. You make me feel so special, so important. I see you and my day becomes so much better just having you there. I can’t believe how incredibly lucky I am that you love me. You mean the world to me.

Affection swells in my chest to the point it almost hurts. When did you end up getting me this wrapped around your finger? I pull you close, burying my face in your hair, breathing in your comforting scent. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier in my life. I feel your arms come around my back, hugging me, and I feel like my heart may explode.

“You’re my world.”

The whisper leaves my lips involuntarily, surprising me almost as much as it surprises you. You lift your head to look up at me, eyes brimming with tears.

My eyes widen and I look away, willing my face to remain free of the heat that I know is dusting my cheeks.

Without a word, you press yourself against my chest, hugging me even tighter.

“You’re my world too.”

[jpeg-dot-jpeg]

jpeg my beloved!!! 3, 8, 11, 16 for fandom asks please? xoxo 💕

(only a small number of questions from bean??? wild...)

'a small number of questions' you say while still asking more than the average 😂🤭<3

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

Damian Wayne! As someone with a younger sibling with a similar age gap to what tim and damian have (in theory), everything about his character made me want to punt him like a football. cain instinct full throttle. However, lots of fantastic works surrounding him have helped me come to observe aspects of his character other than 'annoying younger sibling.'

8. a blog (mutual or one you follow) that has made your fandom experience brighter

Darling, I would be remiss not to acknowledge you and @bi-bats for being some of my very first friends within the fandom and encouraging me to become a bigger part of it <3<3<3

11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

okay this might sound goofy but. im so proud of my little batblobs. they're just fun to make and they've brought a lot of people joy. i hope those silly doodles inspire people who feel like they cant contribute to fandom with creating expert level artwork <3

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

JASON TODD IS FUNCTIONALLY YOUNGER THAN TIM DRAKE. look i know we love the dynamic of jason being the older brother/more experienced partner because woobifying tim is fun, but i will never stop screaming about how Jason is mentally 3.5 years younger than his 'legal' age. After dying he spent 6 months being dead, 1 year in a coma, 1 year catatonic on the streets, and 1 year catatonic with the League before Talia dunked him in the lazarus pit. obviously canon is a tangled mess and people are free to explore whichever version of it they like best, but?? the angst potential?? jason coming back to gotham as an 'adult' but still only having the life experience of a 15 year old?? im SCREAMING. Give me a jason who's like 'actually, tim, im younger than you, so how about YOU be the bigger person here.' thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[noforkingclue]

Hey how are you? Are you still battling the heat? I hope work is okay.

If it's okay with you I would like to request a Dhawan!master x reader request where the reader is a huge fan of Agatha Christie and the master notices this and so he takes the reader to meet Agatha Christie as a surprise. The reader meets Agatha Christie but when this happens there is a murder and the master is framed for the murder, the reader works with Agatha Christie to prove the master's innocence.

Sorry for making such a long request, I know that you like Agatha Christie. If you're not comfortable writing this then it's okay. I hope you have a great day/ night.

P.S not sure if you saw the commonwealth games closing ceremony but there was Peaky Blinders tribute featured.

Note: requests are currently closed

Oh yes! I do love Agatha Christie. I got the complete collection and I'm currently writing my own murder mystery.

Title: Whodunit

Doctor Who tag list: @v4n1r, @queerconfusionthings, @yourneighbourhoodclown, @love-of-fandoms, @emilythezeldafan, @fabulous-jj-style, @theseeker945, @pleadingeyes, @kjaneway1, @truthbehindthemysteries, @im-a-muggleborn, @startrekkingaroundasgard, @mythandmagik, @geocookie21, @zerocanonlywriteshit, @thewinterpoet2, @anteroom-of-death, @night467, @clarasoswaldd, @sessa23, @mxacegrey

Dhawan!Master tag list: @agentmalfoy24601, @b-bae-27, @praxeus-13

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

You folded your arms and raised your eyebrows at the Master. The Master just rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed.

“I didn’t kill that human.” He said

“You were standing over the body,” you said, “you must see how it looks.”

“People stand over bodies all the time.”

“I haven’t.”

“Then I’ve been showing you the wrong things.”

“I haven’t no desire to see any more corpses.”

“I can’t grantee anything, love.”

You sighed and sat down next to the Master. You nudged him gently and said,

“Some treat this turned out to be. You promised to take me to see my favourite author and you got accused of murder. Only with Agatha Christie right?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“It’ll be like us going on the Orient Express or a Nile river cruise and there being a murder. Bit of a coincidence don’t you think?”

“Isn’t life just made up strange little coincidences?”

You wrinkled your nose in disgust and the Master smirked at you.

“That sounds like something the Doctor would say.”

“Now why would you insult me like that?”

“And why-“

It was at the moment the door to the room opened. You sat up straight and felt your face get hot as you came face to face with your idol. Agatha Christie stood awkwardly as she shut the door behind her. Silence fell over the three of you and eventually she cleared her throat and said,

“The police have been called.”

“Oh joy,” the Master said, “Twentieth century human policing. I’m sure they will be very effective.”

Agatha frowned and said,

“You really do say the strangest of things. You remind me of someone but…”

She trailed off and shook her head.

“I really must be going now. I only came here to inform you of the update.”

Once she left the room you look over at the Master and said,

“What was that about?”

“I had another reason for taking you here?”

“There always has to be an ulterior motive with you, doesn’t there?”

“Time energy.”

“Huh?”

“There’s residual time energy surrounding her. It’s a mystery.”

“And you can’t let a mystery go unsolved.”

“I have a strong suspicion I know who is involved.”

“Ugh,” you groaned and shook your head, “can’t we have one trip without the Doctor being involved.”

“With how much she’s travelled we’re bound to bump into her sooner or later. However,” the Master held up a hand when you opened your mouth, “next time I’ll be sure to find a place te she hasn’t graced with her presence.”

“Next time,” you grimaced, “if we manage to get out of this situation.”

“Then you better get out there and find out whodunit.”

You rolled your eyes and stood up. Before you left you pressed a brief kiss against his forehead before you slipped out of the room. You stumbled slightly when you realised that Agatha was outside the room. She seemed embarrassed when she spotted you and you said,

“Miss Christie, umm, err, hi. I just wanted to say that I’m a big fan. Oh, you probably get that all the time but I…”

You trailed off, your face hot.

“You probably that all the time.” You muttered

“Yes, well,” Agatha gave you a small smile, “it’s always good to meet a fan.”

“Can I ask you something?” you said quietly

“Yes. I’ve been meaning to ask you something as well.”

“What are you doing out here?”

“Ah,” Agatha looked away, “it’s actually linked to your friend in there. I don’t believe that he is the man we’re looking for.”

“Really?”

“Yes. What do you say that you and I do some investigating? I have a feeling that I’ve come across something like this before and not a plot in one of my books.”

“Investigate a murder with Agatha Christie. I’d love to help!”

Maybe this trip wasn’t going to end in disaster after all. 

[astraystayastayastray]

Black Hole

pairing: fem!reader + idol!bangchan

featuring: other members of straykids briefly appears

genre: soulmates au

warning: toothrotting fluff!

song by: Bangchan and I.N of Straykids (SoundCloud below the cut)

a/n: hey yall im not dead <3 heres a small lyric fic with bangchan! im finally away from work on a little christmas vacation with my family so i might squeeze in maybe one fully finished oneshot soon! please support by reblogging! ty!!

Description: Bangchan falls in love with you at first sight and cant help wanting to believe in the theory of soulmates after seeing your smile.

DO NOT COPY WORK.

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"Thank you STAY!" Felix waves at the fans before him who are happily cheering for him and his group.

"Yeah! We'll be back!!" Han jumps up and down, trying to take in every single STAY in front of him.

"Don't forget us STAY! Don't go to other idols' concerts!" Seungmin jabs a finger up at the stars above, pointing to tell his fans never to forget this beautiful day.

As you obediently glance up at the night atmosphere, you breathe into the bustling air of excitement and listen to the exclamations of some of the other fans around you.

Shining brightly in front of my eyes

Is a whirlwind of time and space,

The falling sky warmly surrounds and caresses me

Today, Stray Kids did their comeback tour outdoors under the bright star constellations, the stage illuminating the darkness and casting away any fear or anxious nervousness.

In other words, the perfect weather, the perfect setting, and the perfect family to share this memory with, made everything feel like home.

I fall into you again,

Into your heart,

Leaving myself to gravity

You suddenly hear gasps and cheers around you. The group has split up to bid goodbye to STAYS who would have to leave soon.

You quickly put away your phone which was overflowing with pictures and videos, attempting a big wave at Jeongin who was walking close by your seat.

He spots you, grins, and lightly gestures to the idol behind him that you were here.

Bangchan emerges from behind the maknae and sees you as well. He smiles as if he could wish for nothing more that can make him happier than he was now.

You wave again, giving your boyfriend a thumbs up and a heart.

Minho also joins the two idols, hopping off the stage together to meet the fans in your part of the area.

Jeongin and Minho rushes off to take pictures with STAY, but Bangchan continues to trot over to where you are.

Everybody screamed and rushed around to get a picture with the Bangchan, getting closer and closer to where you were. You who were squished between the mobs of overexcited fans, could barely see him approaching as you fought to keep yourself in your seat.

You can hear a light chuckle as a strong arm grasps your waist and pulls you up. Bangchan gives a light squeeze on your arm and quickly lets go, waving to everyone around you as if nothing had happened.

I’m trapped in your space again,

There’s nothing I can do

But fall in love

People cheer for Bangchan's sincere care for a fellow STAY, but between the two of you, it is an interaction of two couples, amidst the stardust of joy.

The moment we touch each other amidst the stardust

I know that baby you are the one

"Alright! We're leaving now!! Bye STAY! Eat well! Don't forget your Binnie!"

A final cheer follows Changbin's remark and erupts the night as the group at last exits the stage.

Fans around you bustle out, but you stay where you are, wishing this moment could last forever.

You reach for your bag to get your phone and take an uber home but you notice a piece of sticky note clinging onto your jacket.

Curiously glancing at the paper, you read, "I'll be outside! Take your time!!"

Smiling, you hurriedly scramble out of the outdoor stadium, searching for your boyfriend.

Suddenly, you feel the same strong arms that touched you minutes ago, grasping tightly around you from behind.

"Hey baby~"

"Channi-!"

"Shh! Remember we're in public?!"

"Right!" You act a whole skit of zipping your mouth shut. You then smile happily at the man in front of you.

Chan was wearing a black cap over his styled hair and an additional mask that covered his face. "What am I going to do with you," he says as he gently rests an exhausted head onto your shoulder.

Carefully brushing away sweaty, damaged hair from his masked face, you pull away from Chan and glance up into his sparkling eyes. "Tired?"

"Mmm," he nods and envelopes you into another hug.

Giggling, you take his hand and walk along the sidewalk of the streets. There was a long comfortable silence as you two walked past bustling cars and excited fans all ready to leave.

You find privacy behind a large lamppost that covers the two of you from anyone else's view.

"Still tired?"

"Yeah."

"You know the whole purpose of this walk was to get you energized so you can head back to your dorm properly, right?"

Gasping, your boyfriend clutches his chest and says, "It wasnt because you wanted to see me?!"

Laughing you put your hands on your boyfriend's cheeks and gave a light kiss onto his mask. "I love you so much, but you need rest! Cmon, let's go-" You feel your hands being placed onto one's neck. You raise an eyebrow as Chan sets his hands on your waist. "Now what is this? Where has my tired boyfriend gone to??"

"Shh, im tired, lemme rest."

"Not here! Not like this! You need to go before the other boys steal all your dinner!"

Laughing, Chan remains in place and gives you the cutest puppy eyes - or.. wolf eyes - you've ever seen. "I thought you wanted to leave cuz of the cold but you were worrying about me?"

Blushing furiously, you slap the arms wrapped around your waist.

"Alright alright," he chuckles. "Let's go now-"

"OMG CHANNIE! LOOK!" Above the two of you, tiny stars started drifting through the air, forming a giant constellation together that stretched across the entire sky like one huge veil.

"Well wouldya look at that. I've never seem anything like this!" Chan is quick to lift you up into a piggy-back-ride before you can refuse.

Squealing from overwhelming joy, you abandon all effort of trying to act mature for once and willingly grasped onto your boyfriend's neck.

You and I, our hearts are like the stars,

They shine brightly for each other

To the people around you, it might seem like two crazy couples acting all lovey-dovey and childish - a temporary love that would eventually close to an end.

A love between an idol and a fan.

Anything could go wrong. Chaos being the result for the both of you.

But the two of you decide to put away these fears just for one day and enjoy life as it is, as fate had tied you together.

Is it a coincidence or is it meant to be?

After a flurry of jumping, admiring, kissing, and piggy-back-riding, you both rest underneath the giant lamppost once again, even more exhausted after the fun.

But now, a bright glow outshines your boyfriend's exhausted eyes. You swing your legs with enthusiasm and look up at your lover. "Chan," you start.

"Yes, babe?"

"Do you believe in soulmates? In true love? Do you think love at first sight exists - that we can exist together forever?"

The moment we touch each other amidst the stardust

I know that baby you are the one

Your boyfriend turns to you and what he says next engraves into your brain - even until now.

“You are my fate, I am your mate

"No matter what happens, I want to keep loving you forever, like how the stars above us are eternally weaved into the galaxies.

"You are my galaxy, my star, my world.

Swirling up the vast emptiness,

We will shine."

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Check out masterlist for more.

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! THANKS FOR READING!

[jo-harrington]

Jo, oh you my love who puts the Jo in joy.

Give me your top 5 pieces of visual art about death and/or mortality.

<3

Oh Somna, my Angel of darkness and despair. I wish that I could bring you to a museum and talk for hours about art history and interpretation and all of that. This is my interpretation of a lot of these and some are not as straight forward as you might think.

A Dead Soldier - 17th Century- Artist Currently Unknown I had a visceral reaction seeing this one in person in London a decade ago. I probably looked crazy but we’ve been thinking about the futility of war and human life forever. What is the use to be born and live a life only to die for some futile cause of a king or a government and in your death you are discarded. Forgotten. It’s especially meaningful that we don’t even know the artist now. Death comes for us all, and even your memory will die but your work might live on.

Crucifixion and Last Judgement - 15th Century - Van Eyck Ok this one less because of the biblical elements (I actually have a whole feeling about biblical depictions in art I could give a lecture) but because of use of color. IM SURE YOU KNOW PIGMENT ISNT CHEAP especially historically. That’s why prominent figures like Jesus and Virgin Mary and all of that are painted with vibrant colors to kind of show off their importance and the wealth of the patron. But. In this, all of the living people who came to witness the crucifixion in their colorful garb (ignore Mary in her blue, she’s special) and then the masses of people after the last judgement who are muddy and dull. But Jesus, Mary, John the Baptist all of these prominent celestial figures in color because of their importance. The contrast. In life you can have everything, but in death you become the dirt. Riches in life mean nothing. Your goodness/virtue is your wealth. I could SAY MORE. But I won’t.

Descent from a Cross - 17th Century- Rebrandt OK I AM A FORMER CATHOLIC Religious things appeal to me but once again less the religious and more the fact of Jesus surrounded by disciples in death. Being carried being lowered so carefully. Your memory, your lessons, your impact in life will be felt and carried onwards after you die. Who are you? But who are you to the people around you? Obituaries mean nothing. Everyone will remember Aunt What’s-her-face was a bitch.

TBH ANYTHING BY IVAN ALBRIGHT I know that feels like a cop out. But all of his work makes me feel a certain way about life, not about death. How gross we are, how fragile we are. He has a lot that focuses on regrets. They’re all grotesque. The painting above was of Albright’s 19 year old neighbor who modeled and he chose to paint her as an old woman to say “here. Here is what you will become here is what we all become.” Cherish life, cherish youth, cherish beauty. Even if we all believe ourselves to be imperfect, time will only make us worse so choose to live peacefully and happily as possible.

It’s not this piece but this piece is cool but there is a Japanese practice called Kusozu that depicts the stages of decay after a person dies. I’ve seen several sets of Kusozu art in person and just…it makes you feel something. It was after I saw it for the first time that I decided I didn’t want my body embalmed after I die. It’s a beautiful process, to have your body give back to the earth that made it be. There’s a scientific thing that’s like…well I guess it’s spontaneous combustion actually but all energy in the universe is finite. We’re not gonna get any more. A river pushes a boat, the energy of the movement of the water propels the boat forward. If the water is still, the boat is still. We die and then the energy, the atoms, the particles of us should go back to the earth. What happens when we pump a dead body with chemicals to prevent decay? Do we know? How can we know the effects on the earth? But a natural decay? We are the earth and the earth is us and a wolf can eat your liver and live on for another few days. You fertilize the soil and become the flowers.

Death is life. This was fun.

[huellitaa]

ྀི ୨ embarrassment ୧ ྀི

...is a social construct designed to make us feel bad by those who cant handle their own mistakes & or shortcomings.

seriously. like. it baffles me how people are still living in the mindset where they let embarrassment become anything more for them than a concept.

୨୧ embarrassment

- a feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness.

embarrassment is perfectly normal. it happens to everyone because we all make mistakes. but some people let embarrassment and the fear of embarrassment consume them and the choices they make far too much, far too often.

♡ which leads me onto my first point; it is completely normal. everybody makes mistakes. this is our first time in this life and we are all learning & growing with our every choice, every action, every decision <3 remember that the next time youre panicking and freaking out because you made a mistake.

♡ its never that deep. i like to try be gentle w this stuff but lemme tell u straight no one actually cares . im serious,, like babes no one gives a shit honestly 😭😭 and your mentality should be the same. people remember this stuff n laugh for 5 mins and then theyre back to their life. and if they hang on to it for longer then theyre the one who should be embarrassed.. get a life pls??

♡ similar to what i said a moment ago , its. never. that. deep. laugh it off !!!!! giggle !!!!!! laugh about it !!!!!!!! nobody cares !!!!!! this shows that it doesnt faze you and this shows how confident you are within yourself that you dont let silly little mistakes bother you because they do not matter.

♡ when it comes to your interests, please never be embarrassed about these. this is something ive struggled with since i was little but never never never be embarassed of the things that bring you joy. if they arent hurting anyone and are perfectly okay you should never be embarrassed ab that. it makes you happy. why should you be ashamed of that for someone else???🩷

♡ has someone ever said something to you? made u doubt urself? then you get embarrassed ab it???? dont. do not even go there. i ws so insecure before (i know😭😭) and couldnt hold a single opinion for myself but when you know who tf you are you wont be doubting yourself for anyone ml.

♡ so... you wanna pursue your dreams but ur too embarrassed. ur too embarrassed and worried "what if this doesnt work" "what if it doesnt happen" n whatever other dumb shit ur worried abt and scared to outgrow your surroundings and evolve. wow. you know how silly that sounds? so.. like.. let me get this straight... youre telling me... that youre not doing what you love... for the sake of someone else or some silly little doubts????wow. you get one life n youre doing that. GET IT TOGETHER BABES. GET REAL. WHY WOULD U SABOTAGE URSELF LIKE THAT????? YOURE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT LIKE 😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷

♡ understand that peoples perceptions of you are often reflections of themselves just like your perceptions of others are often reflections of yourself. they think its embarrassing because they know for a fact deep down that theyd be too embarrassed and self conscious to do it themselves.

♡ and then watch the way they'll all come crawling back apologising and grovelling the moment you're rich and successful and got everything you ever wanted.. all because you had the confidence to trust in yourself and pursue what you wanted without listening to their self doubts. <3

♡ reverse psychology. "why r u doing that" "thats so cringey" why r u so wrapped up in my business? thats so cringey

♡ overall, confidence, strong self concept & trusting in your ability to bounce back from anything are the three main things that will never let you wallow in this silly little emotion again. embarrassment is like a pitiful, more insignificant, ridiculous version of fear. if ur gonna be scared then b scared of something worth ur time babe ur more than that <33