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you will never see dick grayson in the kitchen but not bc of any real skill issue, he is just so so tired. baby needs a nap. he is constantly applying and interviewing for jobs bc he keeps getting fired bc of nightwing shit interrupting everything and he refuses to take bruce's money. he does not have the time or energy to be chopping and simmering and boiling and doing fucking dishes. crushes the garlic cloves to peel skin off then taps out. princess doesnt care anymore. cereal, microwave meals, takeout. 'i'll just starve myself until im so hungry that anything sounds good.' and then he eats a can of pears for lunch.

Bruce Wayne is not banned from the kitchen bc of mundane shit like burning food or starting fires. seasoned professionals do that shit. bruce is banned from the kitchen bc he never bothers to learn basic shit and it gets people sick. it never once occurs to bruce to wash any of the produce he buys before eating it. he uses the same knife for raw meat and fruit and doesnt wash it in between. he left a dish out to cool before putting it in tupperware then forgot about it for TWO DAYS then PACKAGED IT AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE LIKE NORMAL. he is a motherfucker who thinks he can do shit perfectly the first time without any practice and he can when it comes to tech stuff and beating people up, but not when making ice cream bc he lets it churn so long it turns into butter.

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Bruce Wayne is not banned from the kitchen bc of mundane shit like burning food or starting fires. seasoned professionals do that shit. bruce is banned from the kitchen bc he never bothers to learn basic shit and it gets people sick. it never once occurs to bruce to wash any of the produce he buys before eating it. he uses the same knife for raw meat and fruit and doesnt wash it in between. he left a dish out to cool before putting it in tupperware then forgot about it for TWO DAYS then PACKAGED IT AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE LIKE NORMAL. he is a motherfucker who thinks he can do shit perfectly the first time without any practice and he can when it comes to tech stuff and beating people up, but not when making ice cream bc he lets it churn so long it turns into butter.

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here’s some more of jason todd being a naturally violent, rebellious, angry, and anti-social child so dangerous that batman HAD to take him in solely to prevent him from being even worse.

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baby wamnt fish

he is Up To Something

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POV Damian Wayne

kofi

ref/og image below the cut

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Cover for Nightwing #126 by Vasco Georgiev

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Jpeg jpeg jpeg !!! I have a pitch for u 💖💖💖Sandwiching Tim between 2 lovely beefcake big titty men named Jason and Kon-El!!!!!!

this pitch has been living rent free in my head. when i figure out how the hell drawing works, i am going to have to bring this to life.

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Reading Astrophilia and a fic about Kon failing to catch Tim in time back to back was certainly an experience. Thankyou for your Timkon fic services

wait come back whats that other fic with Kon failing to catch Tim

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jpeg my beloved, what is your favorite color? what is your favorite comic issue? what is your favorite movie? xoxo 💕

bean my beloved <3 <3 <3

Favorite Color: not to sound like a simple bitch, but i love a vivid blood red color 🍒

Favorite Movie: my go-to comfort movie rn is Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse (2018) but my overall #1 is probably Promising Young Woman (2020)

Favorite Comic Issue: Ooh okay this is a tough one. For art and style, I adore Batman #529. Kelley Jones went bonkers and it is so visually cool.

Regarding story content, Batman #408 (Jason steals the Batmobile tires) and A Lonely Place of Dying (Tim introduces himself to Bruce and Dick for the first time post Jason's death) are definitely top 5.

Personal fave tho is probably Young Justice '98 #29. It is so fun and goofy and a great depiction of the og yj team dynamics.

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timothy the teetotaler kills me. hes a DARE kid. dumping out his roommates alcohol and threatens to get him expelled. i know he acts like someones pulled a gun whenever they take out a joint and it will never not be funny. his idol is dick "lets all try cocaine!" grayson.

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send me "what's your favorite.." asks 💫

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the batboys and their meddies <3

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he is Up To Something

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what they dont tell you about living away from home for the first time

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bruce was not made to be a father he was made to be a grandpa. hes not supposed to raise children he's supposed to spoil grandchildren rotten and terrorize strangers with images of ugly babies. you will never see bruce wayne more serene or at peace with the universe than when he is in some meeting in some board room showing a bunch of people who really hate children photos of his granddaughter until they look like hes got them in a saw trap. Once upon a time he would have been trapped in here with them. Now, though? They're trapped in here with him.

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Batman Allstars by Kevin Wada