#kitchen quotes

[egophiliac]

Hello ! I positively adore the running joke of Idia unknowingly finding Lilia to be the coolest guy ever whenever he doesn't know it's him, like when Silver described his father, or obviously with muscle red. I can't say what'd be funnier, Idia finding out his online best friend is actually Lilia, resident spooky hyper fairy; or them both never finding out, and it'd become even more ridiculous as time goes on. How do you think it'll play out ? You're always so on point

(Also, though it makes sense, I'm still devastated bat boy didn't get a ticket for the Halloween skeleton train : ( does anyone mentions him at some point ? Like how he'd have fit right in with all those Halloween town little freaks, and how he'd have impressed them with his spooks and scared techniques; after all he's been every Briar Valley's children worst fear on Halloween for centuries. I'm on the eng server and I didn't wanna spoil myself by watching the whole thing on youtube)

Have a nice day !

you and me both, Idia and Lilia being oblivious online BFFs (+ Idia being incredibly intimidated any time Silver brings up his jock gamer dad) is my favorite running joke/subplot. 🤝 it's SO good, to the point where I also am unsure if I actually want it to ever be resolved or not...maybe, like, as a post-canon stinger or something? everyone's standing around covered in overblot ink, and Idia and Lilia's phones go off at the same time...

(legit I do think this is part of why Idia couldn't be present for Lilia's dream, because for some reason Lilia decided he was going to just. embody his past self online. he probably quotes his own battle strategies or whatever in the middle of boss fights. Idia didn't pick up on the whole "oh how weird that we both live on a super remote island" thing, but he would spend thirty seconds listening to General Lilia describing siege warfare and be like "w-wait")

all that aside, however it does end up happening, I do see Lilia being very blasé and all "oh! cool!" about it. y'know, taking it very much in stride! and Idia...very much not.

(can't tell if tumblr is going to chew this into illegibility or not, this will be a fun surprise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)

as for Lilia sadly missing out on Halloweentown shenanigans...he does get one little mention as part of an offhand reference to the light music club, but so far no one has brought up how this basically is just Lost In the Book of Liliatown (Sebek's been too busy yelling about not getting to be in the same group as Malleus). 😔 honestly though, it's probably for the best that he got left out, because he would just settle right in and refuse to ever leave. canon would shatter. we would miss out on all the delightful angst of episode 7 because Lilia is too busy eating poisonous shrubbery inbetween practicing his very best screams, and no one can pull him away from it.

(I can hope for a sequel next year though...)

[p1nkshield]

Jason: What is this??

Dick: it’s the flour and butter you asked me to buy?

Jason: No. No it’s not.

Dick: ye-

Jason: I asked for CAKE FLOUR and UNSALTED BUTTER.

Dick: but-

Jason: now am I just supposed to trust the salt content of this salted butter???? And this is BREAD FLOUR this has opposite qualities and PURPOSES! Does it look like I’m making bread to you??

Dick: I’m-

Alfred: it was a foolish decision to ask any of your siblings to purchase any sort of ingredients.

Dick: Hey!-

Jason: I know Alfie but you already do so much. I thought he could get two items without infecting it with WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE! *begins to fake sob into Alfred’s shoulder*

Dick: ???

Alfred: *patting Jason on the back reproachfully* A shame really… perhaps you should leave.

Dick: okay tragicwing I get it! I’m going back! Who taught you such dramatics?

Jason: You.

Dick: 😐… worst decision of my life.

[metamorphesque]

a quiet resignation. tathev simonyan

[yichi-is-a-bitch]

TWST Incorrect quote #80

Lilia: "I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon"

MC: "That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic"

Lilia: "You and the smoke detector need to get off my case"

[sayangrafayel]

[New Moment Post From Xavier]

Xavier: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make her pancakes and bacon every morning.

❤️ Liked by Jeremiah and Tara

3 comments

MC: This is a lie.

MC: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

MC: HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

[camifandomfan]

*The fam is over at Tim’s apartment*

Jason: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Tim: …No…

Tim, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Jason, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Dick: I see a-

Tim, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Jason: Oh, well I-

Tim: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Tim, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Dick: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Steph: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Tim: Now I’ve just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don’t have to roshambo nothin!

Tim: I am a man who owns four ovens…

Tim, louder and way too happy: I am a man who owns FOUR OVENS…

Tim: I didn’t know I was so rich with ovens…

Jason, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Steph: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- five ovens!

Tim:

Tim, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM A MAN WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

[ktkat99]

Dick- I am the oldest

Tim, pouring espresso instead of water into the coffee maker- We know

Dick- I'm in charge

Jason, rewiring his helmet bomb- We know

Dick- I'm responsible for making sure you guys don't die

Damian, poking Jon with a stick to test his tolerance for being annoyed- We know

Dick- I'll say that again, I'm responsible for making sure you guys don't die

Tim, pouring the new espresso back into the machine again- Is this going somewhere

Dick, in tears- Please make this easier. Why are you like this?

Damian, hovering fifteen feet in the air by a very annoyed Kryptonian child, shrugging- I do not believe anything can kill me

Jason, adding a taser function to the helmet- I WAS killed. And I came back. I don't believe anything can KEEP me dead.

Tim, chugging the coffee that is now strong enough to break Bane's spine- Does it honestly look like I care at this point?

[girlfictions]

Aimee Nezhukumatathil, from Baked Goods

[daddiesdrarryy]

Lucius: Okay, son. The next step in your great grandmother’s recipe is to fold in the cheese

Draco: What does that mean? What does ‘fold in the cheese’ mean?

Lucius: You fold it in

Draco: I understand that, but how do you fold it? Do you fold it in half like a piece of paper and drop it in the pot, or what do you do?

Lucius: Draco, I cannot show you everything

Draco: Okay, well, can you show me ONE thing?

Lucius: You just, here’s what you do. You just fold it in

Draco: I don’t know how to fold broken cheese like that, Father!

Lucius: Then I don’t know how to be any clearer! You take that thing that’s in your hand and you—

Draco: If you say ‘fold in’ one more time—

Lucius: It says ‘fold it in’!

[intimidating-fettuccine]

BEN, changing the channels: I think I’ll just watch this baking show.

Y/N: But you know nothing about baking.

BEN: [Shrugs]

[After 24 hours of binge watching cooking shows]

BEN: I don’t care what Slender says; his fondant is dry and I can see the cracks forming already.

[p1nkshield]

Jason: What are you making?

Dick: Haute cocoa.

Jason: Hot cocoa?

Dick: No. Haute cocoa. I am making the best, and fanciest cup of hot chocolate in gotham.

Jason: Is that a cup of corn starch? How much milk are you using?

Dick: Equal parts!

Jason:...Equal parts?

Dick: I gotta make it thick somehow! All fancy hot cocoas are thick. Now where is Alfred's homemade vanilla...

Jason: mmkay. ALFRED! DICK IS MAKING NON-NEWTONIAN HOT CHOCOLATE WITH YOUR GOOD VANILLA!

Dick: Shh Shh Shh! No nonono please! Why would you tell him that!

Alfred: Master Dick...

Dick: -hOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST!

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Dick, staring at Damian as he sorts through casefiles: Is he alright, he hasn’t mentioned anything about patrol? What if he got hurt? What if he’s slipping back into his old ways. Oh no he looks so sad, what if he’s having a hard time at school?

Tim, limping into the cave, covered in blood that may or may not be his: Notice anything different?

Dick: Oh, did you get a haircut?

[cod-dump]

*141 visiting Shadow Companies base*

Graves: *chilling in his office*

Price: Phil, I need- … Is that your book shelf?

Graves: yep

Price: Why… how are you organizing it??

Graves: I just shove the books wherever

Price:

Graves: You good-?

Price: YOU DON’T LIVE LIKE THIS DO YOU??

Graves:

Graves: Noooo-

[lonelychicago]

buck with taylor: want frozen waffles from the fridge?

buck with his parents: i got takeout!

buck when eddie: hey babe! hi, love of my life! 🤩 i perfectioned this lasagna and it took me three tries but i hope you like it, baby! 🥺 eddie, look! bobby gave me his secret ingredient! do you want me to cook it for you? imma cook it for you. i'll be so good and cook for you all the time. 🥰 just— hi, i know how to cook! eddie, eddie! look, i'm cooking for you! 💍😌👨🏼‍🍳

[ao3-crack]

(x)