#Lilia Calderu

[jubshead]

Rio being canonically a boob girl (entity)

[five-milfs-and-a-twink]

[grifffins]

“you will be visited by three spirits”

the three spirits:

[moxxiesblog]

I miss them too 😭😔

i miss my lesbians, Patti LuPone, and their gay emo teenage son.. i really really do

[draco-glacialis]

Agatha: A stake to the heart won't kill a vampire if their tits are big enough.

Alice: Yeah, you just catch it.

Lilia: Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit.

Billy: Then I just use a spear instead.

Agatha: You are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas, and for what? Why would you do that to the ecosystem?

[mrs-pianofandom-98]

PATTI OML THE GODS HAVE BLESSED MY PHONE

[incorrectagathaallalongquotes]

Lilia: Where have you been all day?

Agatha: Oh, just dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.

[angeliccss]

Patti LuPone x mullet era

[adivinationwitch]

"I say we call her bluff."

[kingpreciouswrld]

Spare Me (College!AU) Ch.2

Summary: Old flames die hard, yours is especially stubborn. However, when your rides to and from the practice fall through, you take up a sweet offer. Meanwhile you meet the rest of the coaching team on the second day of practice but not without some clashes.

A/N: Again, don't know what this is-- never written a multi-chapter fic before so I really don't know what I'm doing. Uhm...read if you want? It seems long but that's just cause there's a lot of one-liners...anyway, enjoy? Feedback is encouraged (cause...help...plz)

Your dorm room was definitely your little home away from home. It was currently a mess due to taco trash and you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

After you and Sam ate your winning tacos, you decided to do some…research…on your coach. It wasn’t weird or anything, you just wanted to know more about her, see if she was as interesting as you thought she was. No, it wasn’t weird, you just needed to know more about this woman…you just–

“Is that–”

You slammed your laptop shut, “Nothing!” you cleared your throat and tried again, “It was noth–”

“You’re looking her up?!”

“NO! No no no no, I was just looking at the school’s athletic page–”

You two started a tug-of-war with your laptop, “You were looking at google pics Y/N/N! Just let me seeeee!”

“SAM! Stop! You’re going to break my laptop!”

“Then stop fighting me and let me see what you found!”

Letting the dirty blonde win the tugging, you groaned in frustration. Sam just smirked at you and patted your head as she sat down next to you on your bed, “Don’t worry, your creepy little secret is safe with me.”

You huffed and rolled your eyes, laying on your back with a grunt.

“You know, it's kinda normal to cyber-stalk your crushes.”

“I do NOT have a crush on coach Calderu, she’s just…”

“Just, what?”

You grumbled before throwing a pillow over your face and screaming into it. It was so embarrassing that Sam caught you red-handed. You didn’t know what pulled you in to the other woman, she was just so…beautiful…and you couldn’t get her out of your head! Her short hair, her big doe eyes that could turn into a wicked glare, her bright smile that could turn into a knee-buckling snarl when she got snappy.

Coach Calderu was an enigma and you desperately wanted any information to help you piece together the kind of woman she was.

“What about this?” Sam shifted the laptop back onto your lap.

Slightly perking up, you moved to sit back up, “What is it?” you asked as you scrolled the page.

“It’s where she works, you know, when she’s not a college coach.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock, but what even is this place?”

“Some weird little shop, looks like it might even sell those cards you like to hog. It’s not that far from campus, we could always take a look?”

“But what if she’s actually there?” You really didn’t need to embarrass yourself in front of her. The season just started and you wouldn’t be able to take it if something happened that would make it even harder to face the older woman.

Sam rolled her eyes and got up, grabbing her jacket in the process.

“So what? We’ll just be looking for your weird cards anyway, it doesn’t need to be awkward. Just be cool about it, yeah? Come on.”

The dirty blonde grabbed your jacket and threw it at you. Your eyes widened as you felt your nerves come alive, “N-Now?!”

“I’m not going to be waiting Y/N/N!” She said as she left, leaving your dorm door open.

“Goddamnit….Sam! Wait up!”

– – – – – – – – – –

The sun was just a few hours away from setting. Although you despised Sam for being so impulsive, you knew you wouldn’t have followed through with seeing your coach outside of practices.

The walk to the shop didn’t seem too long and although it was a bit chilly, it was a nice walk.

“I can hear your mommy issues screaming from here.”

You rolled your eyes and huffed.

Sam held her hands up in surrender, “I’m not judging, I just think this would actually be good for you.”

“What? Why would you say that? She’s our coach, Sam. I highly doubt anything would happen.”

“That’s not what I meant…It’s just, after Agatha, I think you need a good distraction and if making up scenarios in your head about older women will help you, I’ll feed into your delusions!”

“Y/N!”

“Speaking of the devil…”

You didn’t know who started, but both you and Sam started to quicken your pace. You could hear heavy footsteps approaching you from behind before they fell into stride next to you.

“Please, Y/N, just hear me out–”

“Can’t you fuck off? She doesn’t want–”

“It’s alright Sam,” you sighed before linking your arm with the dirty blonde. 

Your action made Agatha stop in her tracks. You could’ve guessed that Agatha assumed you moved onto Sam but you two were just good friends, you considered her a sister even. But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t feed into Agatha’s insecurities.

“You coming or not, Harkness?” you asked, not looking behind you.

You could hear hurried footsteps approach you again before you heard them match your stride again.

“Where are we going?”

“There’s this shop we wanna check out before they close for the night, Y/N needs a new card deck.”

“They’re tarot cards Sammy,” you could practically hear Sam’s eyes roll in her head, “I didn’t know you still practice Y/N…”

“You lost the chance to know.”

As you three turned around the corner, the shop came into view.

Madame Calderu’s Psychic Readings.

Despite your nerves, you were pretty excited to get a new deck. You haven’t touched any of yours since your breakup with Agatha. Maybe Sam was right, having someone else to think of could be good for you.

When the shop came closer, both Sam and Agatha raced to see who could open the door for you and to your luck, Sam won. Rolling your eyes at their antics, the door opened, making the bell above it ring out into the small shop.

Agatha fell to the back of the group and let out a low whistle as she looked around, “Well isn’t this a swanky lil place…” she murmured.

As Agatha was caught up with the crystal ball on the main display, you were focused on the tarot cards on the wall.

“Well isn’t this a lovely surprise!”

You all whipped your heads towards the front counter to find coach Calderu in all her glory.

“Coach! What...are you doing here?” Agatha asked in surprise.

The older woman smirked, “Welcome to the curious.”

Coach Calderu walked around the counter to stand in front of you three.

“And what brings you three to my humble abode?”

Your eyes widened and you discreetly slapped Sam on her back, “Y-You live here too?”

“Well don’t seem excited by it, by all means! Is it that bad?”

“N-No! That’s not what I– I mean–”

The older woman chuckled and patted your shoulder, “I’m just pulling your leg hun, but yes! I do live here. Don’t touch that.”

Agatha, once again, snapped her hand back to her side with wide eyes, “Sorry coach, I didn’t mean–”

Coach Calderu waved her off, “No harm, no foul, just be careful, hm?”

As you turned to continue looking through the selection of tarot cards, you could smell her perfume before she draped her arm around your back, “Ohh do we have a little cartomancer in our midsts?”

You blushed and chuckled nervously, “I’m just an amateur really, I haven’t done a reading since high school…plus I’d only do personal readings or do a few readings for Sam.”

Your coach hummed, looking at the decks on the wall, before she picked one and handed it to you, “Well then I think this is what you’d like.”

The Cozy Witch Tarot Deck

It was cute and although tarot could be intimidating, the card deck looked anything but. You smiled and looked towards the older woman, “Thank you, it’s really cute. I like the aesthetic of the pictures.”

“Of course hun, only the best for my girls,” she winked.

You looked down at the deck in hand, pretending to read the packaging to hide the redness in your cheeks. In response, your coach just chuckled lowly and squeezed your arm as she moved to talk to Sam.

Oh you were definitely going to take up tarot reading again.

“Are you girls ready for practice tomorrow?”

“Oh, actually, I’ll be a little late.”

You whipped your head towards Sam with a confused look on your face. What did she mean? She was your ride to and from practice tomorrow and you sure as hell weren’t going to lug your bowling balls down 4 blocks to get to the bowling alley.

“I have family in town visiting and my grandma wants to take me to breakfast before practice. Where they’re staying is a bit out of the way so I might be late but I’ll do my best to be there on time.”

“Wait, but Sam, what about–”

“Same here actually.”

It was your turn to face Agatha with wide eyes. Well there goes your second option. Yes, asking Agatha for a ride would’ve been a stretch but you really didn’t want to walk around with your bowling balls in public.

“I also have plans for breakfast with an old friend of mine, but they’ll take me to practice from the diner. I’ll let them know that it’s important to get me to practice on time.”

“And what about you Y/N? Any plans for breakfast?” Coach asked with a raised brow.

“Uh– no, but I should say that I’ll try my best to get to practice on time…”

“Oh? And why would you need to try?”

“Because someone–” you glared at Sam who smiled innocently, “was supposed to be my ride to practice.”

The older woman looked at you two with amusement.

“Well if you need a ride hun, you just need to ask,” she said with an encouraging smile.

“Oh! I– I wouldn’t want to impose–”

Coach Calderu waved her hand, “Nonsense, I’ll be more than happy to give you a ride. You’re living on campus, right?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, still not believing you were about to spend even more time with the woman.

“Give me the name of your hall and I’ll be there bright and early.”

– – – – – – – – – –

When you finished shopping around, you ended up arguing with Agatha about who would be paying.

You honestly didn’t know what was wrong with the younger woman. Maybe she wanted to get back together and was trying to weasel her way back into your life somehow or maybe she wanted your forgiveness? You really couldn’t tell what she wanted from you.

Agatha ended up paying for your things. You got a few candles, the tarot deck that your coach had picked out, and a big dream catcher. Since Agatha paid for you, you made her carry your things too, not that she complained though, she seemed happy to help much to your annoyance.

Coach Calderu sent the three of you on your way with a wink and a wave goodbye and then the three of you started to make your way back to campus.

Sam nudged you with her shoulder, “You’re welcome by the way.”

“Why would I want to thank you? You’re ditching me AND you lied! All of your family lives within thirty minutes of campus!” 

“But now you have time with coach, so, you’re welcome.”

You punched Sam in the shoulder.

“What?”

Oh shit. You forgot Agatha was with you guys.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about Harkness,” Sam mocked. “Well would you look at the time, I want to get to the cafeteria before they run out of cheesy bread. See ya!”

And now you were alone.

With Agatha.

Sometimes you hated Sam with every fiber of your being.

“Come on superstar, I’ll walk you back to your dorm.”

You let out a sigh and reluctantly walked the rest of the way with Agatha.

The sun had set just as you and Agatha got to your dorm. The younger woman was still carrying your things as you unlocked your door.

You walked in and sighed as you took off your jacket before turning towards the open door. To your amusement, Agatha was still out in the hall. She was looking around your room but kept herself from crossing the threshold.

“You can just set those down on my desk.”

Agatha nodded before she came into the room, setting the bags down on your little desk.

“So…I– well, Y/N, I just wanted to say–”

“I didn’t say we were talking.”

“It’s been a few years, I’ve changed! Just– hear me out, please?”

You rolled your eyes before you hopped up on your bed. You gestured towards Agatha for her to continue.

“Thank you,” she sighed, “I just– well…I just want you to understand that what I did wasn’t because you weren’t enough for me, or that I don’t love you–”

“You said ‘don’t’...Ag–”

“I love you, Y/N, I still love you with all that I am and–”

“I think you should go.”

“Y/N–please, I– we need to talk this ou–”

You shook your head and let your head fall forward, your hair covering your face, “No”

“Wha–”

You whipped your head up, your eyes glossed over with fresh tears, “We don't ‘need’ to talk about anything! You threw everything out of the window when you decided to sell yourself out for some stupid-ass scholarship! Why are you even here? The head of the athletic department said he only scouted Sam and I from that Pepsi Tournament! Why choose this school? Why fight for an anchor spot when you don’t even care where you’re put in the lineup? Just– why?”

Agatha seemed shocked. She couldn’t form any words, her own eyes glossing over as she watched your tears fall silently.

“I think you should go.”

Agatha just looked at you with pleading eyes, “Y/N, please–”

“You heard her Harkness, beat it.” Sam came back from the cafeteria just in time.

You couldn’t face Agatha or Sam. You guessed that you looked a mess. It’s been a while since you cried over the younger woman. She couldn’t even answer your questions. She just stood there looking like she was the one who was hurting. She didn’t have the right to feel sorry.

The door clicked shut before you took a sharp inhale. Meanwhile, Sam looked at you with soft and understanding eyes.

“Do you want cheesy bread?”

– – – – – – – – – – – 

Last night’s sleep was rough. The talk with Agatha, if you could even call what happened a talk, still played in your head. You were obviously overthinking everything and second guessing yourself. Maybe you should’ve heard her out the first time, maybe you two would have stayed together. You didn’t know anymore.

You went around the dorm as you got yourself ready for practice. Sam was already gone when you got up and so you took a shower, got dressed, and pulled your bowling gear together. After grabbing your headphones, you headed out. The weather was nice enough that you decided to wait outside for your coach.

Putting your music on shuffle, you set the volume to the highest setting, drowning out your own thoughts. You bobbed your head along the music, your fingers subtly playing piano keys as you mouthed the lyrics.

A tap to your shoulder made you let out a startled yelp. Throwing your headphones off of your head, you turned to look at whoever dared to interrupt your little moment.

“I’m sorry to startle you, but I’ve been calling your name for a good few minutes.”

Your cheeks immediately reddened as you found coach Calderu standing behind you with an amused smile. You immediately scrambled to look at your phone. Apparently, you missed her texts and one call. 

You winced and looked back up at her, “I’m so sorry coach, I didn’t realize how much time has passed since I came downstairs.”

The older woman just chuckled, “It’s alright, I did enjoy the little show you put on,” she teased with a wink.

You didn’t know if your cheeks could turn any redder and you put your hoodie up despite it being a sunny day out. Coach Calderu watched on in amusement as you quickly placed your bowling bag into her trunk before you moved to sit in her passenger seat.

The sunglasses that were atop the woman’s head was placed over her eyes as she pulled out of the parking lot.

“Are you alright hun? You aren’t too cold or anything?”

“I’m good, coach, thank you. And thank you for the ride, I really do appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it,” she said as she patted your knee.

You turned to look out the window, your eyes practically bugging out at such a small gesture.

You felt like a very hormonal teenage boy that hasn’t even touched his first pair of boobs yet. Why did she have such an effect on you? She was literally just a woman. A woman who happened to be the most beautiful person you’ve seen in the universe. A beautiful woman who happened to be your bowling coach. A beautiful woman who was still touching your knee.

After coach Calderu let her touch linger long enough, she returned her hand to the steering wheel. “You said you liked listening to music right? What kind of music do you listen to?”

“Hm? Oh, I– a little bit of everything.”

“That’s what people say and then they completely disown two or three genres.”

“I– okay well you’re not wrong…I’ll say my top music styles would be pop, songs from the 70s, and then songs that I call ‘static oldies’ just because in some of the recordings, you can hear the scratches of the original recording.”

“Not what I expected of a 23 year-old, you do seem like an old soul.”

You just nodded in response. You had a quip on the tip of your tongue but decided to hold back due to the fact that it was a pretty dark quip and you definitely didn’t want to give your coach the wrong vibe about you.

– – – – – – – – – –

The rest of the ride was just filled with small talk; learning about the small things about each other and such. Coach Calderu asked you about your ambitions, your likes and dislikes, what made you embrace bowling, etc. It was refreshing if you were being honest and despite the crude rumors about the older woman, you couldn’t see why she easily made enemies. 

Once she parked, she let out a sigh before turning to you with a smile, “I accept debit payments. The title will say ‘Lilia’s Lyft’ but that’s just my side hustle,” she teased.

“How about just a five-star rating?” you giggled.

“As long as I get a five-star rating for both trips, then we’ll be set hun,” the older woman winked at you before she exited the car.

She unlocked the trunk and you grabbed your bowling gear before setting it on the ground so you could roll it.

“Calderu!”

You heard your coach heave a big sigh before she turned on her heel to face the voice, “Vidal, how…nice…of you to finally join us for practices.”

You weren’t paying attention to the other woman, you were paying attention to the younger woman following on Vidal’s heel.

It was Agatha, and as soon as she made eye-contact with you, you could see the panic and guilt begin to appear in her eyes.

It wouldn’t take a genius to pin together why Agatha and you guessed, the assistant coach Vidal, were together. You guessed VIdal was the one Agatha was texting during your senior year in high school and that’s how Agatha got into this school.

“Ah, and who did you bring with you? Another one of your pets? She’s a bit young for you, Calderu.”

“This,” Coach Calderu hissed, “Is Y/N, one of our team anchors for the season,” she glared at the younger woman.

Coach Vidal just raised a brow with an amused smirk before giving you a once over, “Ah, the famous Y/N L/N then…I gotta say, you give other girls a run for their money.”

You sent the assistant coach a tight lipped smile, “It’s nice to meet you Coach Vidal,” you turned towards your other coach, “I’ll head inside, I think Sam is here already.”

After turning on your heel, you trekked inside the alley, scanning the lanes to find the familiar dirty blonde.

“Y/N/N–”

The familiar husky voice made you walk away immediately.  Deciding to head to the kitchen area to grab an energy drink, you found your dirty blonde savior.

Sam was in line to get a drink and you left your bowling bag by the front desk before joining her, your arm hooking into hers.

“Witch at five o’clock, I’ll tell you what happened after practice,” you whispered to her.

Sam, the ever so helpful friend, just brought you in closer and held your hand in reassurance. It was only eight in the morning and you were already spiraling out.

The two of you got your drinks and walked over to the designated lanes for practice.

The coaches were standing and talking quietly amongst themselves while the girls were sitting at the settee area putting their shoes on. As you put on your own, you couldn’t help but glance at Coach VIdal every so often. Why would Agatha meet up with her? Were her words last night false?

On one of the glances, you saw that Vidal was already looking at you. You quickly broke eye contact and went back to tying your shoes.

It was going to be an interesting practice day.

[jubshead]

GUESS WHO IS BACK BITCHES

[five-milfs-and-a-twink]

[no-phrogs-in-hats]

Death and the Fool

Chapter 2: The Ace of Pentacles--Upright

Agatha Harkness x fem!reader

Summary: Where the personification of Life believes she has no chance with Agatha Harkness after Death gets to her first

Spotify playlist here

Chapter 1

Taglist: @hannah-0730 @loveshineslikethesky

“The Ace of Pentacles–Upright: Opportunity, prosperity, new adventures.”

__________

October 2026

The first thought that comes to your mind is not good. 

The house that stands in front of you looks just shy of completely mangled. The door has been ripped off its hinges, splintered into a thousand pieces. Outside, the flower box holds crushed shrubbery and chrysanthemums and the roof drain pipe is half way from completely falling off. 

You take a few measured steps forward and notice the mailbox is overflowing with mail. You sigh, roll your eyes, and continue towards the house.

Stepping through the door, you’re met with piles of splintered wood, and as you try to watch your footing, your eyes lock onto something familiar. Your heart lurches when your fingers touch it. The Triple Goddess pendant was all too familiar. You had known Agatha for over 300 years and she never once went anywhere without it.

You slip your nail beneath the clasp of the pendant. Inside is another familiar sight and you smile bitterly at the piece of dark hair before closing it again and dropping it in your pocket.

You can't see her, but Agatha’s voice is clear and distinct, and your chest warms hearing it for the first time in decades.

“Fine, I’m driving.”

There’s no chance of reacting when she rounds the corner as soon as the words escape her mouth.

You’re both frozen, staring each other down, and the kid behind her looks between yourself and Agatha.

“Hi,” he smiles, attempting to hop towards you. When he makes eye contact, something feels off about him. You recognize every single soul that walks the Earth. You create them from nothing, yet form them into everything. But this one, you don’t recognize. 

“I’m–” His mouth is forced shut and it looks almost as if his own skin is stretched over his lips. When a black squiggle paints itself over where his lips would be, you narrow your eyes at him.

Agatha reaches for a pair of scissors and cuts the rope from around the boy’s wrists, handing them to him, “Cut the rest of yourself free,” she sneers, “and go outside, you’re driving.”

He struggles to hop between the two of you, stumbling briefly on the wood chips, but managing to catch himself before he leaves for the grassy front yard. 

“He has a sigil,” you point out, watching him carefully.

“Yep. I’ve been calling him ‘Teen’,” she says. “He’s pretty insistent on not being a kid.” 

You turn your head to look back at her. “Rio said she ‘stopped by’.” You pause and look around at all the damage in the house–broken glass and china in the kitchen and more concerningly, blood on the floor. “It seems she left out some parts of her story.”

Agatha purses her lips, “Like trying to kill me?”

“Oh, I’m sure you enjoyed that, Aggie,” you sigh, leaning against the wall. “You were never one to shy away from a fight.”

Agatha’s stiff and cold demeanor didn’t falter, even at the nickname. “Why are you here?” she asks.

She’s so different from the Agatha you originally knew. The Agatha that would laugh at the stupidest jokes you’d tell her. The Agatha that would climb up a tree to scare you and Rio and laugh with that mischievous glint in her eye. The Agatha that would sing lullabies. 

Oh, how you miss the Sun.

“Just checking in,” you shrug. “Where are you driving to?”

“The last time I saw you–”

“You told me I’m too pure,” you butt in, remembering the memory that you aren’t too fond of. “You told me that I’d be corrupted by your ways if I did not leave. But I’ll tell you the same thing I told you that night, Aggie–Unlike Rio, I can find any soul, anywhere, at any time without her necessary process. No amount of dark magic can hide you from me, Agatha, and you cannot corrupt me. You cannot corrupt Life.”

She’s quiet for some before she glances at Teen, who sits on the grass, clearly distracted by his phone. Agatha leans in closely, lowering her voice, “We’re walking the Road.”

You pull back, searching her eyes for any sign of farce, “You said you would stop with the Road bullshit, Agatha. What is he, sixteen?”

“Well that was before Wanda Maximoff drained me of everything and stole the Darkhold…besides, I’m just having him drive me around collecting witches for the coven,” she shrugs. Agatha grins as she watches you sigh, “Why don’t you join us, hon?”

“Excuse me?”

Agatha takes a pair of sunglasses and cleans them off with her shawl before slipping them over her eyes and smiling at you. “You’ll be here with Rio to collect their souls after I drain them anyway. Why don’t you have a bit of fun?”

You want to say no. You want to say no so badly, but you don’t. Instead, you groan. “Fine, but I’m not having that kid drive me around. I’ll stay here and…clean up.”

“Sounds good, doll,” she smiles–and, oh, how you love when she smiles, especially when it has that mischievous undertone. Agatha steps over pieces of the door and exits through the doorway. “We’ll be back soon!”

When the pair of them leave you’re left to your own devices. You look around the entire first floor, ending in the kitchen. You let out an exasperated sigh, Rio really did a number on this place.

By the time you finish cleaning the house, it’s three o’clock and Agatha and Teen still aren’t back. You aren’t usually the type to snoop around but you’re so curious as to how Agatha’s been living the last few years.

In the room off the left of the foyer is the sitting room Agatha came out of. Afternoon light creeps in through the curtains but the lamps provide a warm ambience as you take a lap around the room. 

You don’t recognize a single person in the framed pictures–there’s a bearded man with an older woman who looks to be his mother, a picture of three women, and a bigger picture with a huge group of people all wearing shirts that read “Bohner Family Reunion”. 

There are collections of records and Blu-Ray discs from the previous owner and you rifle through them–a colossal amount of classic rock and movies that you know a guy would try to man-splain to you when you tell him that you “just don’t get it”. 

On the partition wall separating the sitting room from the dining room, there are at least thirty pictures and pieces of paper covered in red ink. Upon further inspection, the pictures are nothing but daisies and patches of grass, and the ink on the papers are just random letters and scribbled lines. You think back to your conversation with Rio the previous night.

“She’s gone all true crime and thinks she’s trying to solve a murder. It’s kind of funny actually, I’ve been playing along.”

When you go upstairs that’s when you see the little touches of the real Agatha. The door to her bedroom is open and you amble in. Her bed is unmade and you’re not one bit surprised after having asked her decades ago why she doesn’t make it. 

“I’m gonna be sleeping in it again tonight, why the hell would I go through all that effort just to mess it up again?” she had replied.

On her nightstand is a ceramic bunny figurine. Closer to the bed is an empty wine glass with the smallest bit of dried red at the bottom, and beside that is a bottle of ibuprofen and a half-way read through book.

In her closet are all different decades of clothing–50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, and the 2000’s. You find leg warmers and laugh to yourself, imagining Agatha Harkness wearing these brightly colored monstrosities over whatever workout fit she was wearing. Your favorite, however, is the 50’s and 60’s section. You can remember those years so vividly, going to diners with her and drive-in movies after she finished “walking the Road” again.

After closing the closet your attention is pulled to a chair across the room. You walk over to it and see there’s a pair of black boots, a folded white blouse with purple slacks, and a teal trench coat hanging over the back of the chair. On top of the neatly folded blouse is a small envelope with Rio’s familiar handwriting, reading, Agatha.

The sound of Agatha’s voice reaches your ears. You look at the clock and it’s almost four. You’re able to hear her voice clearly, snapping back a snarky remark when Teen asks her where she’s going. 

She’s in the doorway of her room quicker than you realize and when you turn around she has that sly smile that makes you weak in the knees each time. 

“The house looks good,” Agatha says, tossing her shawl and hat on the bed. 

“Thanks, who did you steal it from?” you tease.

“I don’t know,” she huffs. “Some guy named Ralph…or Randall? Robert? I don’t know. I–What the hell is that?” 

She walks quickly over to where you are and snatches the note from the folded clothes. After tearing it open, she scans the lines and rolls her eyes, balling the paper up and throwing it away in the bathroom.

“She does know your style!” you chuckle. You take the clothes from the chair and bring them to her, smiling softly when she glares at them. “Just put them on, Aggie. You want to look good when “walking the Witches’ Road”, don’t you?”

She looks at you, fighting herself before sighing, completely defeated. “Fine. But I’m not going to like it.”

“I don’t expect you to,” you smile, chuckling as she shuts the door in your face.

You have to remind yourself to breathe when Agatha steps out of the bathroom. She could wear a potato sack, a garbage bag, and she’d still be the most beautiful woman you’ve ever laid eyes on. 

“Right,” she huffs, looking at herself in a full length mirror. “How do I look?”

You could answer in a million ways. You could tell her that the way she has her hair pinned up makes you want to place a thousand kisses over the exposed skin. You could tell her that she looks so good you want to rip the blouse she’s wearing open and have her take you right there. That the way her hands adjust the collar of the jacket makes unspeakable thoughts fill your mind.

But you don’t say that.

“Good!” you say. 

She looks at you through the mirror, grins, and turns around. “Good?”

“Amazing!” you correct yourself.

“Amazing?” she repeats. “Hm…Thank you.”

You take a deep breath and let it out. “You’re missing something, though.” 

Under the curious eye of Agatha, you step closer to her and reach into your pocket. When you grasp the pendant of the necklace and pull it out she visibly tenses. But you don’t acknowledge it. Instead, you move closer and reach around her neck, clasping it in place and adjusting it to lay beneath the collar of her blouse. Your fingers straighten out the pendant before pulling away. 

It’s quiet. 

Your eyes meet and you can see something in her soften. 

“Where did you find it?” Agatha asks quietly.

“Amidst the pile of door that Rio left behind,” you answer, letting out a quiet hum. “You’re not you without it and I know how much it means to you.”

“Is his–”

“Yes,” you cut in. “It’s still in there.”

She gives you a subtle nod. “Thank you,” she murmurs.

“You’re welcome,” you whisper, and you can almost swear you saw her eyes glance down at your lips. “You should probably get downstairs. Who knows what Teen is getting up to?”

Agatha scoffs, “Not much probably. Teenagers these days are too soft.”

Downstairs, you see Teen, who has set out what he calls “Pre-Road appetizers”. Over the mantel, he’s taped up a sign that reads “Welcome Coven”.

“I think it’s cute,” you shrug, watching as Agatha tears it down and huffs.

“No, leave it up,” a voice behind you says. “Really sets the mood.”

Teen breaks out into a smile and beckons her in. “Please, come in! Right, Agatha?”

“I don’t care, I mean whatever…” she mutters. Agatha seems mildly annoyed at this situation and you’re finding it hard to reserve a smile.

When Teen offers the new witch a “pre-Road appetizer”, she declines just to be overshadowed by another woman behind her.

“I don’t mind a lapsed expiration date,” she chirps, taking a bite of the expired granola bar. She pauses as she looks at the witch beside her, “High Priestess.”

“Jennifer Kale, potions,” she says.

“Lilia Calderu, divination,” the second one says. She narrows her eyes. “You’re bound.”

“And you need a chemical peel,” Jen retorts, much to Lilia’s dismay.

Behind them, a third woman appears and sighs. “This is never going to work. Your front door is missing.”

“Alice!” Teen exclaims with a bright smile. “How did you find us?”

“I’m an ex-cop,” she shrugs. “That’s gonna be my answer to a lot of questions.”

Impatient, and completely over the introductions, Agatha sighs loudly and claps her hands. “Okay!” she chirps. “We’ve got everyone! Let’s go!”

“Um, what about the green witch?” Jennifer asks.

Agatha scoffs. “Oh, we don’t need one of those! Let’s g–”

“Yes, we do!” Lilia insists.

“Green magic is arguably the most important of the skill sets needed for the road,” Jen says.

After more bickering, Agatha finally relents and leaves the house to retrieve the “green witch”. An awkward silence falls over the room as you all wait for her to come back, and it felt longer than it actually was.

“Okay!” Agatha cheers. “I’ve got our green witch! This is Mrs. Hart.”

A small woman stands beside Agatha, smiling as she greets everyone. “Oh, actually, it’s Sharon!”

You can see Agatha becoming visibly frustrated at the revelry, but she hides it (and not well) with an overly cheery smile. “Alright, let’s go!”

You and Agatha stand together with Teen in between you. You watch as the coven takes in their surroundings. Lilia strolls around, nosing around in the boxes on the shelves while Sharon, Jennifer, and Alice stand there awkwardly.

“Do you think we’ll need another car?” Teen asks. “I don’t think everyone will fit in mine.”

Agatha sighs, “You don’t drive to the Road, Teen. The Road is conjured. In fact, why don’t you go upstairs.” She turns him around and despite his protests, keeps pushing him toward the stairs. “Yeah, let’s getcha up there. Let the adults handle this.”

When he leaves the basement, Agatha turns to you, “Go with him. Make sure he doesn’t come down here.”

The sun is almost completely set when you and Teen make it upstairs. The dim lighting leaves an eerie glow around the house and it’s almost unsettling as you watch Teen explore the living room. When he gasps and picks up Agatha’s rabbit, there’s a twinge in your chest and it feels like you’re seeing Nicky for the first time again.

But your thoughts are interrupted when Teen drops the rabbit and slowly walks outside. You follow closely behind him, “What are y–shit.” 

Agatha had made sure your priority was keeping him from going back down into the basement, but that priority had changed. Now, as you stare face to face with the Salem Seven, your priority has changed: protect Teen and make sure they never reach Agatha.

You pull Teen back, “Get inside, now!” 

You can hear the faint sound of the ballad below the floorboards as you cast a protection spell over the vacant doorway in an attempt to hold them off. Teen pulls the nearest couch over and blocks the entrance. He moves to another room and it’s quiet–and you know that means nothing good. 

Teen’s scream from the other room makes you react before you can even think. You run to him, pulling him behind you just before one of the Seven can reach him. You cast another spell, sending one of them flying into the wall before you turn and run to find Teen.

You can hear shouting below you and just like that, it stops. You know what that means. This wasn’t the first time you’ve witnessed it. 

Teen’s screaming echoes through the house and you can hear him running towards the basement. “Agatha!” he shrieks. “Agatha!”

You run after him, just on his tail as he makes it to the basement. “Teen! Wait!”

“Is this the Road?” you hear him shout. “Is this the Road, because we should really get going!”

And now you’re nothing but confused. 

Is this the Road? 

The Road? “The Road” should be three dead witches and Agatha’s neighbor.

And then you reach the bottom of the stairs. 

You pause and stare at Agatha. The air feels electric and the very thought of the Salem Seven leaves your mind, because when you look up from the hexagon door, your eyes meet and you both share the same questions:

Where did that come from? And why is it here?

[imorynn]

Hope y’all are ready for the fourteenth of February for this smut.

[mymiraclewitch]

I need to show yall my haul from the Patti Lupone concert in North Bethesda!

So, I brought my dad, and I had initially bought balcony tickets, like all the way at the tippy top. Well, I saw some front row seats that were empty and me being me. I always go on side quest at concerts, so I went to the ticket office and asked abt the seats. Long story short, I got upgraded to orchestra for free!!! Ahhhh. I got to meet the band and I had a lovely chat with them, I asked for a rose from the concert and he gave me the whole vase!!!! Ahhhh, he also signed my ticket