#its how i cope dont judge me

[freelancesketchartist]

you've heard of gender reveal wildfires, now get ready for...

matrimonial wildfires?

[nururu]

Sensory issues that make me not want my hair to touch my neck/ears

vs.

chronic migraine disorder that can be triggered by wearing my hair up for too long or wearing anything on my head at all

vs.

ppl telling me they like me more with long hair&making me feel insecure about having short hair

[todayisafridaynight]

SORRY TO TAKE SUCH A HARD LEFT BUT HOW DO YOU THINK JO FOUND OUT ARAKAWA WAS DEAD

IM GOING TO SCREAM IF I TRY TO THINK ABOUT THAT NOOOOO I GOTTA GET BACK TO YOU IN 5-7 BUSINESS DAYS WITH THAT ONE............

[bffjohnny]

social isolation my worstie!!!

[cursivebloodlines]

"It's not an accusation if there is truth to it, Diego!" Or was that allegation? Words were tricky sometimes, what could she say? Whatever. She knew what she meant...and she knew he knew what she meant, which is all that mattered in the end, right? Even if he happened to be endlessly tormenting her about it. Tessa couldn't help but laugh though. She always laughed around him, it was hard not to. Even more so when she knew full well Diego was deliberately winding her up. Another eye roll issued to him, pulling her lower lip in to conceal the smile that threatened to plaster all over her face, attempting to resist the urge to laugh. Attempt being the emphasised word here. "Violence? Never expected you to be such a drama queen," she retorted with gentle sarcasm. "Oh yeah? What would've happened if I hadn't been so lucky then?" As soon as Diego mirrored her expression, she absolutely cracked. How could she not? They were acting like such children. It was funny. And it didn't help that he was stupidly cute either. There was no way she could even pretend to be mad about it - the ending would always result in the same.

Singleness. So, it clearly wasn't just Tessa who found words hard today. Was that a word? In all fairness to him, it could have been. It sounded like one of those words that shouldn't be words but were. He made it difficult not to respond to his silliness with even more silliness. They really did act like children, didn't they? "I wasn't worried," she shot back with ease. His explanation of the word 'almost', funnily enough, almost had her rolling her eyes yet again at Diego. But...there was that look on his face. The way the volume of his voice suddenly lowered to a whisper and he leaned in and Tessa's heart was doing flips, the butterflies in her tummy fluttering around. He was going to be the death of her. Her breath had caught in her throat for a moment, her eyes flickering to his lips in anticipation. Was he going to - and...of course he was doing it to prove a point. The urge to grab his face between her hands, pull him in, and kiss that idiot was so, so tempting. Tessa's resolve was cracking, she could feel it. Still, she exercised restraint, determined not to succumb to his stupid charms. For now, anyway. He made it so difficult. "You're cruel. But okay, point taken," she shook her head with a light laugh, exhaling slowly.

Tessa knew immediately that 'not now' meant probably soon. She knew full well if roles had been reversed she totally would have said something similar. It amazed her, the way how at times they were two completely different people, and yet she always found plenty of similarities between them. It's why they meshed so well. Another time. Damn. It was her own fault though, so she couldn't express slight disappointment. After all, she didn't want to rush into things whilst also giving a potentially different opinion. She wanted to be certain, even if she pretty much already was. Anyway. "Okay then, another time," she repeated, offering him a warm smile.

A laugh escaped her when Diego playfully questioned whether she was worried about him stealing her self-proclaimed title from her; she shook her head in response. "Level 0? No - there's no such level! You've gotta start at Level 1 at least. Even I know that." In response to the makes what better? question, she shrugged, tapping her nose with a gleaming smile that implied 'That's for me to know and you to not find out.' Besides, to answer genuinely would mean to get her more flustered again and set herself up for more teasing off him and more reasons to blush furiously. Childishly, Tessa couldn't help but nudge him back when he nudged her. "Are you? Where's your resume, then? I didn't realise you were applying for a paid position. Is the pay rate any good?" she teased, shaking her head to herself with another quiet laugh. that was one way of putting it. Was it really like applying for a job? She wasn't sure how she felt about that. It felt wrong to her but she didn't know why that was. "Again! I say: be creative. Clearly, you're having a hard time with that. But don't worry - I'll show you." Didn't that confirm everything with her thoughts about them already? His face was a picture when she called him a scaredy-cat, her eyebrows quirked up in silent question: Really? You can't fool me. "Whatever you want to believe..." she said in a sing-song voice. "It's okay. I think I might have some at home actually. One of us has to because clearly, it's not you," she teased, grinning at him as she helped him up. Maybe she held on to his hands a little bit longer than necessary, briefly glancing down at their joined hands before looking back up at him with a smile. "Uh, says who?" Tessa quipped, tilting her head a fraction, a laugh passing from her lips yet again. "You're not that old. How about if I turn it around on you then, huh? Begs the question of whether you're into younger girls. Which sounds a looooot ickier, if you ask me." It never bothered her. Neither of them acted their ages, really. she couldn't help but say it to tease him though. "I would have already combusted if that was the case. Come on, let's get going or else we'll stay here foreverrrr..."

And with that, they were on their way home. It had been a lovely time and Tessa couldn't contain the smile off of her face if she wanted to. They continued to talk about anything and nothing at the same time whilst she fiddled with the music, switching between various radio stations until she found one she liked. Even though they were in Diego's car, not hers. Stealing glances and smiles when she wanted to. Truly, she never wanted the night to end. With what he told her remaining very fresh in her mind, her heart already knew what she wanted but simply needed the time to be sure she wasn't just caught up in the moment. How could she think of anything else? And despite the constant teasing, he really had been so diplomatic about the whole thing which made her appreciation for him only grow that bit stronger. It had been a laugh, nothing made awkward. And even with all of this to process and consider, it still felt like nothing changed between them. Maybe the transition between friendship and more than that would be easy. Her face had ached from all the smiling and laughing, which only further proved how enjoyable the day had been, how being with him had always been. Her thoughts cut off as they finally pulled up outside hers, a sigh escaping her. All good things must come to an end but...they didn't have to come to an end just yet. Unless Diego had other plans that was. "Thank you...for today," Tessa said, turning her head to face him as she unbuckled the seatbelt. "Are you coming in? We could watch a movie and see if I have any chocolate after all? Let's hope the squirrels haven't stolen my stash ."

Amusement remained on his features as she rolled her eyes. The reactions he caused her were simply adorable, no other word could accurately describe it for him. "Are you accusing me of playing dumb? That's rude." He feigned offense, though Tessa had read the situation pretty accurately. He was playing dumb, testing his luck to see how many reactions he could get out of her. Still, it didn't mean he'd admit it to her. It was much more fun to let her wonder. "And now, resorting to violence...woah. I'll pretend you didn't just threaten me, you're lucky I like you." Though, Diego knew that the most she'd toss his way would be a pillow. Nothing that would truly hurt him. All he could do was mirror her, sticking his tongue out as well. If anyone saw them right now, they'd assume two kids were bickering on the playground.

"Not yelling, so just speaking pretty loudly. Hey, no judgement from me. On the contrary, I appreciate you defending my singleness." Was that even a word? If it wasn't, he hoped it at least made sense. "I definitely listened, you don't need to worry about that," he spoke as he turned to look at her. The pout on her lips easing some of the teasing. Maybe, he could pause it for a bit. Very persuasive, and he wondered if she knew that it would work. His head tilted, trying to not roll his eyes at her comment. Of course, she couldn't resist teasing him. He was bound to say something that she could use. "Almost isn't certain, isn't that the whole point of the word?" He said, a small smile on his lips as she poked his cheeks. "If I lean in super..super.." his words began lowering, whispering for dramatic effect as he leaned into her shoulder, laying his head on it momentarily. "..Close to your lips, and I pulled away at the last second. Did we kiss or almost kiss? If it's almost, then it didn't happen." Perhaps, a bit too much to get his point across, but impossible to resist.

"Okay okay, I won't start...for now." Instead, he'd save it for another moment. Catch her off guard, use another occasion to make her laugh or bring that flush to her face when she was flustered. Either reaction was a win in Diego's book. He'd been annoying enough for one day. It was no surprise that she called him a pain in the ass. It'd be a badge he'd wear proudly, with perhaps one exception, but luckily she had not used that tone on him in a while. That one did hurt, though he hadn't mentioned that to her. It was a tough time for her, why add more to it? Maybe one day, he'd tell her that, just to make sure he didn't keep something from her. "Both..yeah," he was pretending to consider. Like a philosopher pondering over the meaning of life. "It can be both, but I'll save that for another time." This wasn't the right time. Not that Diego cared much for 'a right time.' If he could, he'd cup her face in his hands and pull her in, press his lips against hers. Tell her everything he's been keeping hidden. But, he had to keep reminding himself that this was Tessa. And, he promised her time. Most importantly though, she'd probably want something special. Something that would mark the occasion.

Diego was grateful that she didn't question his answer. He wasn't sure he had enough conviction to reaffirm what he'd said earlier. "Thanks, I mean no rush but definitely don't take 10 years. You know, for my sake...I'm also not getting any younger."

Tessa's smile did not go unnoticed, "are you scared I may take your title? Of the romantic one?" It was cute, her surprise at his confession. It was an odd one, but though his efforts could be considered romantic, he wasn't sure he was worthy of the title yet. "You still are, I'm like level 0 compared to you. Makes what better?" He asked curiously. Diego's interest was definitely piqued. He nudged her softly in reaction to her comment, of course she'd tease him about that. But he couldn't blame her, it did sound terrible. He had to get with the times. "Okay we get it, Diego is an old man. But, in my defense, I am sorta applying to a job," he mentioned, nose scrunching up slightly at the thought. "Creative?? While a house is falling apart? You have a very funny definition of romantic if that's the case." He frowned momentarily, scaredy-cat? Diego? Impossible. "I don't get scared when we go to those places!" Unless they counted the time he yelped slightly when a wooden beam fell in the basement. But that'd scare anyone, right? "We can get chocolates on the way home if you want." He took her hands, and helped himself off the ground, tempted to pull her in closer. Though, he opted against it. He was afraid they wouldn’t end up leaving if he listened to his instincts. “The Diego personality traits are the best,” he countered. “But yeah, I won’t deny I am an old man. Begs the question of whether you’re into older guys.” Just teasing again, though it was a fact that he was a bit older. “I guess so. It just feels like throwing a lot of information at you. I wouldn’t want you to combust with all I said.”

[notedchampagne]

What makes a tlt au work for you? Do u have any favourites out there/that you’ve thought of?

its hard because it can go down to the writing! i have a huge bias for things that put focus on the characters acting awful and driving the story forward- if a story has a plot thats great, but its the difference between "gideon and harrow keep meeting up at parties and fall a little bit in love every time" and "gideons angry she lost her childhood to the cult so she attends a party with the tridentarii to shotgun adolescent experiences, and harrowhark, frustrated that gideon is pulling on her metaphorical leash, follows to stalk her". the former retains a 5+1 fic format and is more bite-size, while the latter puts more focus into their growth as characters. im not great at articulating what i like specifically, but ill put my favorite fics below:

what if nona was dogs tugs at my heart: its post-canon, slice-of-life, and has a unique concept (said in the title). i judged a book by its cover because i thought the premise seemed too silly at first but ive been made a fool and its pet clown. it feels so true to nona the way its about all the things nona loves and how she gets to explore the world through new eyes. i love the way it explores characters softening up and getting hurt through a third person pov

we have always lived in the apartment by @thatneoncrisis i keep saying this but for the love of GOD guys this au is so good it makes me cry and feel such a deep catharsis from it. it takes gideon and harrow and the ninth as a cult and explores their struggle to adapt to a modern society when noone ever gets a break (WOW ITS JUST LIKE IN REAL L-). quinn writes the sides of griddlehark i think go overlooked in fanfic often: their codependency, their tendency to lash out when theyre defensive, their mutual paranoia and different coping mechanisms, harrows psychosis and gideons bitterness, their relationships to each other as being the only other person who really understands what the other suffered through. god. i feel lightheaded.

"but SAM, i dont like angst but i want to see this writing!" read gap between a tragedy and a comedy

"SAM, i also like when gideon and harrow are horrible because theyre maladjusted teenagers! but i want more antics where the characters drive things forward over angst!" read whats eating gideon nav

you just aint receiving is one of my FAVORITE modern aus of all time (and i heavily recommend the authors other fics as well!) if you really want to see how much i love this fic the fact that my comments take up the entire phone screen probably says a lot. its hard to put it concisely: it keeps harrows air of misanthropy and cruelty but redefines it as the result of her upbringing and personal struggle to live in a university while dealing with a backpack of mental illness and frustration. it changes gideons personality as the daughter of john gaius in a way that makes sense having her grow up with johns middling parenting skills and getting everything she ever wanted (connecting it back to kirionas personality in ntn!). it brings in side characters (specially palamedes. my beautiful boy palamedes) in ways that compliment harrow and gideon but not so obviously that they only exist to be supports. they have their own lives and ideals. its a modern au that brings in the boiling politics of johns cult uprising once again in a really novel way

semi charmed kinda life by @griddlebait. jesuchristo and all his middle names this fic is GREAT for you if you want a slice of life, coming of age type modern au that explores what its like for gideon and harrow if they actually got the space to see who theyd become outside of the stifling fate tlt has for them. as far as modern aus go im usually very hesitant to read them because im afraid modernizing the characters takes features away from their core but i really love and respect the way the author treats the 69ers with care and draws distinct lines that shows me how their grow and change while keeping a line to the anchor. also they write HIDEOUS (complimentary) PINING. DISGUSTING. some of these chapters were so chock full of dyke drama that they made me nauseous and whimsical. i think once a friend said this fic felt like if gh could be reincarnated and i like that descriptor a lot

til the cows come home is another postcanon fic that made me feel sick and crybabyish about it- i would definitely recommend it if you want to explore a happier ending with griddlehark! with this and what if nona was dogs the thing i like most about them is that they mix up vulnerability with pain and fear, so it feels more lifelike that way if that makes sense. i lost my taste in fluff fics over time but when its interspersed with struggle and characters causing problems because they cant cope with themselves it feels much more earnest and raw

this became very long. im not sorry

[rzyraffek]

Slashers with y/n that just gets along with everything

Like slasher could litteraly kill somone near y/n and she would be like alr alr whats really important is that you are happy🤠😎. Im sorry that first 2character had super long headcanons while last ones have way less :( I had no ideas Request open!

Billy Lenz

He always expects some sort of negative response when he calls people and when he heard new voice on the Phone he got even more exited cuz new person new reaction! He totally didnt expect her to just go "yeah yeah sure buddy, anyways... how is your day man? Cuz im so so tired...*starts normal converstation*

He probably tries to stay in character but he is so caught of Guard he doesnt know how to react really (hehe the table has turn)

Now he kinda hopes that she will pick up cuz shes very intresting😈 billy likey

"Ew its this creep again! He is asking for you y/n? Of please dont tell me you befriended him??" "So what? He said hes favourite fruit is strawberry he cant be that bad!" *billy saying slurs on the phone*

You need to constantly tell him that, no Billy no harrasing women isnt sexy, you arent quirky, you are mentally ill

"Y/n i killed that bitch that was gossiping about you 🧍 " "👍good for you billy im glad you found healthy way to cope with that negative emotion😇" "on god"

His whole moral compass is created around the simple question 'does it hurt y/n?' .1:no it doesnt so feel free to do it .2 do not do it, she will ban Billy from sweets (bad ending)

The man from hush

This guy. This dude. This Little gremlin. He is upset that he gets no reaction! Like please oh please act all angy when he 'acidently' shot tire in her car! But oh no ofc no, she had to be like "oh its okay honey i have backup in garage🥰" hes like HHUH SINCE WHEN WE HAVE GARAGE

Like tbh thats how i imagine how they met: he saw her, he wanted to hunt her, she was so chill that she didnt even leave her household while the power was off and he went inside and just saw her having lil nap on couch. 🧍🤨erm exuse me gurl im trying to roleplay epic hunter here tf

He probably kidnaped her cuz she was too weird to just kill her but he didnt want to risk her calling police. He probably tied her up and yeeted her on backseats. And then she begun judging music on the radio"yo big guy can i get some good music taste?" "What? Whats wrong with Taylor Swift?"

He will overshare everything to kinda check where is her limit if it comes to being chill "yeah so i killed this old lady.." "im sure you had good reason🥰" "🤨... anyways... yeah so i was drinking some redbull when some guy said i look ugly so i shoot his head off and-" "HEY HEY hold up geez you CANT drink Energy drinks?? Bestie you know it is unhealthy?? Also you like hunt for sport it will ruin your condition!? How you gonna shoot people with shakey hands?? You crazy or something?" "Damn😔"

Micheal myers

I tried to put him here but i realised he will be as chill as her.

Like he can give her gifts covered in blood and she' just going to clean it and wear it like nothing happened or completley ignore it

He cares about this stuff as much as y/n so like not at all. I mean tbh theres is a bit of difrence: shes at least positive about it! Like "yeah micheal go for it, love🥰😇 i know its hard to cope with trauma take it all out alr?" Shes trying to be a good supporting gf not her fault she never had serial killer bf!

Brahms Heelshire

He lives for attention! What do you mean the war crime he commited this lunch break is okay!?!? Baby pleasee

But this negativity disapears the moment he realised he can get a lot of positive attention when he will do some nice stuff! "Oh honey I didnt kill any rats today" "oh that's amazing brahms I'm sure you and the rats inside walls will get along well soon🥰" (rats in walls bully brahms)

Please complement him or he will get a tantrum and destroy something

Brahms and rats have very hard past i might do seperate hc about that

Ghostface

"Look babe! My newest victim *shows photo*" "ugh baby...😰 you NEED to buy new camera or watch some youtube tutorials about how to take good photos" "aw man whats wrong with my pictures 😔"

Otherwise y/n supports his hobbies! People need to grow😇 (and he needs to grow up)

If theres 2ghostfaces(like in most movies) they will bet money on how long you gonna keep this 'do whatever as long as youre happy' act. Well they didnt know that this wasnt an act but her personality

Also they will probably try to use this chillnes aginst her like "oooh y/n something terrible happened! I crushed my car oh what will i do!" "Alr bestie i will drive you over there😇" "😈omg you are so nice i totally didnt expect that(heheh i dont need to pay for gas today (hes very evil))

[sporesgalaxy]

The way Dungeon Meshi does gender makes me insane. It’s stated over and over that Falin and Laios really are more similar than anyone is looking for- Laios directly states as much at one point, Marcille mentions it when Falin wakes up the first time and starts bemoaning not eating any monsters, the magic mirror story even has fem!Toshiro crushing on Laios- but Laios is so protective of his little sister. Laios leaves home to start making a life he can one day share with her. And she leaves magic school because he has failed, and failed so hard that she’s worried that she might never see him again if she lets him leave without her. He wants to protect her from the way the world treats him, but he does not or does not want to understand the terrible truth- the world will never treat her as harshly as it does him, because she is a pretty ‘quirky’ girl and he is a big autistic man. Falin is happy, doing well in her own sphere, making a single friend (because she is still autistic, and has struggles of her own, even if they’re a different kind), but Laios still feels a need to protect her because his experience of this world has been nothing but cold shoulders and distrust all the way down. This story makes me want to sprint into the river. Laios and Falin are the best characters of all time.

Ouhhhhh I dont have time to reread dungeon meshi to give you good sources but based on my doodoo memory and vibes therein: I have to disagree that Falin was necessarily doing "well," and I especially disagree that the tragedy here is that Laios was doing something unnecessary by trying to make a place in the world for him and Falin.

Falin gets along seemingly ok in the world but it's because she's agreeable to a fault .

What's so interesting to me about the Touden siblings is the different ways they've learned to deal with being The Odd Man Out. Laios set out to try and forcefully carve out a PLACE for him and Falin in the world, where they could both openly and unabashedly be themselves.....Falin stayed behind, and learned how to hide the things that made her stick out too much, and how to appease people on the verge of rejecting her and Laios.

That can be functional, but it isn't good. It isn't happiness. It hurts in a million tiny ways every single day, to hide yourself out of fear of rejection like that.

At school, Falin must have spent a lot of time alone before she befriended Marcille, since Falin was familiar enough with the surrounding wilderness that she knew where that small Dungeon opening was. She sought out what happiness she could by following her unusual passions in more private ways, where no one would judge her for it. Falin didn't expect anyone NOT to judge her for her "weirdness" before she met Marcille, so Falin didn't even try to connect with anyone before Marcille at a level more personal than "classmate." That's not doing well. That's not living.

This kind of self-isolation is a coping mechanism for neurodivergence that functions for a while, but it eats away at you. Falin considered marrying Toshiro despite not loving him, essentially because it seemed like the normal thing to do and she didn't think she'd get another chance to be married at all. What if she had gone through with that, or something similar by the same reasoning? Laios lived in a state of being rejected over and over, which obviously hurts like hell. In contrast, Falin was willing to live a life she never wanted just to avoid total rejection. That can be incredibly painful too, in its own way.

Falin and Laios were BOTH tragically fighting doomed battles to find a place for themselves in the world during the time they were separated. Working together, supporting each other, they're able to do a lot more. Cries.

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[thatneoncrisis]

the expendable child character is a narrative parallel to jinx reconciling her relationship with her sister and younger self. like i get not liking expendable child character but she does have an obvious narrative purpose outside of just being cutesy for sillies and then dying for sads. also she had like a cute hair dye montage and stuff man shit was tragic :( maybe im a braindead enjoyer of media trope slop but have you considered that shit was tragic

spoilersssss under da cut

hey have you considered that throwing a character in a show who barely has any personality or any inner world just for them to die because you KNOW theyre a cute kid that people will get attached to is uuuuuh cheap? like i fully understand why she exists, i get the parallels the show isnt subtle, they LITERALLY dye her hair blue and braid it, and she spends half her screen time being the symbol zaun wants jinx to be. how the fuck am i supposed to register her death as tragic when the writing was on the wall the moment she stepped on screen. how am i supposed to get attached to what is essentially a teddy bear filled with C4.

i dont like her bc the show knows how to write kids- violet, powder and mylo bounced off each other and the adults in their lives in such a natural way (excluding the other boy and ekko bc frankly they dont get enough screen time for me to judge them and the first guy was clearly doing double duty as comedic relief/oh wow another dead kid). i do not like child death as blatant manipulation, i do not like pretending that kid was a real and interesting character whos death i should be invested in, i do not like acting like recognizing what a show is doing is the same as them executing it well in any way. i understand CONCEPTUALLY why jinx likes her, omg the baby is just like me fr, they spell it out by having her look at the camera and go wow you remind me of powder who is who i used to be but then bad shit happened but youre cool, but thats not the same as like. building a bond with them, a rapport, shes just kind of this amusing Thing jinx has around and doesnt really care about outside of "kids dying is bad"

finally, do not do that fucking thing where youre like "oh well maybe i just like shitty poopoo tropes but i thought it was pretty good 🥺" how the fuck am i supposed to respond to that. im not like, upset at arcane for fun i like it when stories are told well and get frustrated when the pieces are there and just never connected. i feel like this show has reached a breaking point with how many people it can take from her without it meaning anything after a certain point. half the time its not even her fault it just kind of happens to her in some greek tragedy twist of fate, shes not allowed to have good things and instead of it being like, a conversation about children of war and how unfair shit is dropped on their heads constantly, jinxs motivations and energy is only tangentially related to zauns sovereignty movement.

theyre so like. fixated on her having this overly unserious attitude about everything around her, and i get its a coping thing to distance herself but it RARELY lets up during pivotal moments. its like a story is happening to her rather than her actively contributing- the people would have been taken to stillwater whether she was at the rally or not- sevika would have figured out a way inside that building with or without jinx, they did not escape stillwater thanks to her ingenuity, but because that guy summoned a big ass zombie werewolf who happened to also be her father. the ONLY reason she goes to that building is bc thats where the baby is, i dont think isha as a symbol of the inner child, was inspiring jinx to be a good person, shes just like, a creature of convenience. i guess while im here i can let you guys out or whatever. and what does it mean when that inner child, the living embodiment of whatever goodness and innocence may still exist in jinxs heart, is ripped away from her in a violent explosion exactly the same way as last time? she did the opposite of what vi did last time and the outcome was identical. is history repeating itself, will jinx change? is there any change that can happen that will negate the absolutely comical amount of bad shit that happens to her? this show does not in any way give me the confidence to believe that will happen

basically i think jinxs development thus far is repetitive and gives very little consideration to her as a character rather than an archetype, and isha suffers greatly for it. why show a relationship when you can simply imply it? why make the child any harder for jinx and the audience to project on? why does she need a history, or goals or any interests that arent a giant blue flag that shes powder 2

[lostinvasileios]

im very sorry for asking this and please ignore it if its too much but,

have you.... ever been... su1c1d4l during your journey? did it... i dont know, ever make your deities feel... disrespected? like, you cant stop feeling so depressed and hopless and it just sort of hurts them? something like that? im sorry i dont know how to phrase it

thank you for reading this im so sorry if it triggered you or anything

Greetings, sweetbee. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, please, don't feel worried about reaching out to someone about this. I'm happy to help. 🩷🩷

Okay, so... Baby bee, it doesn't hurt deities when you feel depressed. When you battle suicidal thoughts. Or anything else that falls under those categories. Self harm, abusive environments, ect. They don't expect you to live for them, they don't expect you to suddenly become happy and for your mental illnesses &/or struggles to just pop out of existence because you're now worshiping or practicing.

Because they understand it.

I believe gods were once human a few times. I believe that gods understand the conditions, the harm, the - well - everything. They aren't going to approach your vulnerability with demands.

Now... I did struggle with it. I still do from time to time. I dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression since I was in the 2nd grade. And, in no way did it ever... Harmfully impact my relationship with my deities. My self harming never made them disgusted, they never judged me for the ways I'd cope, for the triggers I had, for the needs they met during my toughest times.

Yes, you can live for a deity or deities. I actually do it. It saved my life. But it's optional. And they won't feel - betrayed, or something like that because you cannot say with certainty you'll live for them. That you'll survive for them.

I didn't have a reason to keep living, I didn't see one. And that's why my deities became it. That's why we swore it to one another. Not out of obligation, not out of fear of them being hurt from otherwise.

In my experience, the only hurt I've seen from my deities regarding my mental issues and ect, was - well - the pain it caused me. It pained them to see me in pain. But it didn't make them want to leave me, it didn't make them irritated or feel disrespected because I cried in their presence. They didn't feel disrespected when I had so many fears and doubts that I for a long time couldn't even believe they were really... Real.

Deities know the difference from fear, from sorrow and pain speech, to disrespect and blatant hateful speech. They know your intentions, even if you yourself do not.

It can hurt your deities when they witness their beloved going through such a hard time. When they see them going through abuse, torment, and inflicting that pain on themselves, or seeing it as they deserved it/ect.

Deities want you to live a life that makes you happy, that's - healthy and loving for you. For your soul. They don't want to see their loved devotee/practitioner off themselves, to cut or starve themselves, to punish themselves for what other people did to them or what they feel is deserving of doing so. If that makes sense. They want to help. To be there. To try and let you see that you are lovable, that there is a life out there for you, that - you're worth it.

Apollon witnessed my depression firsthand when I started practicing. He didn't scowl at me when I was crying my heart out. Snotting and gasping, just - being a very big mess in front of him. He didn't see me as weak or as disrespectful. In fact, I've found out that deities - enjoy it. Well, not seeing you so upset, of course. But they enjoy that you trust them enough to do that with them.

To let yourself be so - raw. To feel these deep, stabbing emotions around them. From what I've experienced, they love being able to comfort their sweet ones. They love being able to tenderly hold them and shower them in kisses &/or kind words. To - reassure them.

Apollon listened to my vents night after night, he held my hands and let me know I was heard. I was - seen. I was loved.

Despite how much I feared love, despite how much I thought nobody would ever be able to understand, my deities showed me just that. Understanding, love, care, gentleness, and everything else I thought I never deserved. Especially not from beings so beautiful and perfect in my eyes.

You don't need to be scared to show your emotions around your deities. To show them your wounds. To - show them your pain. Just as, you don't need to be afraid to show them your happiness. Your interests. Your safe spaces.

Your deities want to be there for you, I promise. 🌼

[liverpool-enjoyer]

hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.

also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.

mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).

its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.

it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue

oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.

so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.

so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.

tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting my sister to stop fostering animals?

So, I (23nb) live with my sister (28f) her boyfriend (31m) and their baby (1f). On january 1st of 2023, one of my sister's cats died after he developed feline leukemia and his condition rapidly deteriorated. My sister was hit pretty hard by it, which i dont judge her for at all. It was a hard thing to go through and im not gonna impune her for struggling with it.

The problem i have is that her primary method of coping with the cat's death has been to foster animals for a local rescue. Now, this on its own isn't a bad thing. I think its nice that she wants to help out, but one problem is that her boyfriend is gone the majority of the time for work, which means she has to take care of their kid on her own. I do my best to help her as much as possible, but I'm physically disabled and can't do nearly as much as i or she would like, and frequently am pushed past my limits when trying to help out

We had four cats and two dogs between the three of us before her cat died - two of the cats were hers - but one of the dogs had to be put down not long after her cat died due to advanced age and major health issues that couldnt be fixed. But my sister had started fostering even before the 2nd dog died, and after it did, my sister and her boyfriend adopted one of the fosters, bringing us back up to 2 dogs

Now, our cats primarily stay downstairs because they dont like the dogs - except for one of my cats - while the dogs are usually upstairs, which means my sister is also stuck taking care of two energetic adult male dogs as well as her infant. She hasn't stopped fostering animals - mostly dogs - since adopting the new one. Even without fostering animals, taking care of her baby and two dogs (i take care of the cats, and she the dogs) was already incredibly difficult and stressful for both her and i, and adding more foster animals that might be with us for months hasnt helped the workload any

Shes also obsessed with trying to foster cats, and jumps on the opportunity to foster any that become available - which doesnt happen very often - because she wants to find a new cat to replace the one that died. She even adopted a cat from a city about 9 hours south of us because she was hoping he would be an upstairs cat like the one that died, but decided she didnt want him anymore when he didnt turn out how she wanted (he's my cat now)

And now, we currently have 13 foster kittens upstairs that she brought home at midnight because my sister just couldn't say no when the rescue and shelter kept finding more cats that needed foster homes. She says she wants to adopt one of them, and has even picked out one that she likes (the one that looks the most like the cat that died). She also wants me to put the cat she decided she didnt want thats now my cat up for adoption, because her boyfriend doesnt want us to have more than 4 cats, and if she adopts one that will put us at 5 total

Tl;dr my sister wont stop fostering animals despite it only stressing her out because of how much responsibility it is to take care of multiple animals and a year old child, and has even asked me to get rid of one of my cats so she can get a new one to replace her cat that died. I think it would be best to stop, but she gets really upset and defensive whenever i suggest it

What are these acronyms?

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

women in prostitution dont have to enjoy the sex, its a job after all. but some women do enjoy it. listen to them. and dont ask background questions that could uncover deep internalised misogyny, self-objectification, sexual numbness or traumatic experiences, coping mechanisms or lies for personal profit.

women stuck in prostitution definitely have no reason whatsoever to minimise the harm done to them to cope. dont listen to ex-prostitutes who say they hate it, their experiences dont apply for some reason.

women in prostitution dont have to enjoy the sex but somehow prostitution is sexual liberation for women. and some women do enjoy it! they can have sex with random strangers under criminalisation? doesnt matter. legalisation grants men the right to buy access to womens bodies but somehow its a win for womens rights.

and dont talk about trafficking because thats not prostitution even though the men buying sex are the same. dont talk about sex buyers in general but if you do make sure to empathise and point out theyre not a monolith.

the basis of prostitution is always the same, someone who is usually male pays someone who is usually female and/or marginalised to satisfy him sexually. but dont make general statements about the nature of prostitution. and dont do critical analysis of prostitution as a system, we only care about personal choices, not oppression. and some women like putting their own desires and comfort aside for male pleasure, who are you to judge!

feminism is when women serve men. which prostitution is since sex is a service. #mentoo! doesnt matter to me that most men in prostitution are also being used by men.

im progressive but i refuse to see prostitution as a tool to subjugate women, or to see how its a neocolonialist and racist institution. can we talk about the womans choice again? thats all that matters. but not the reasons why she chooses prostitution! we dont want to hear it.

and definitely dont point out how men profit more from the legalisation of prostitution than women. dont talk about what it does to a culture, and women who grow up in a culture that fosters prostitution. hearing that theres always a man willing to pay to fuck you if youre down on your luck is definitely a good thing. telling girls that consent can be bought and that sex is a service and labor is definitely a good thing. im a feminist.

[webginz]

i made a little guide thing for how these three refer to each other.

gin outranked kaname for a long time, and then later they were the same rank, so i guess he calls him -san because of age and not ranking. similar with aizen, he still calls him captain even though they were both captains and both betrayed soul society and therefore gave up those titles... i guess he just doesnt want to call him "lord" which is fair, lol.

aizen calls them both by their given names with no honorifics... its kinda cute to me cause thats how you refer to loved ones. and he actually is fairly close with them and has known them a long time.. so... (nah im just coping hes 100% just being rude & disrespectful on purpose...) im pretty sure he does this with most people, they arent special or anything. (though he calls shinji "captain hirako"... 🤨)

and! calling someone their family name with no honorific like kaname does with gin is also rude. really rude apparently? but kaname also tells gin to shut up and says "any sane person would be leery of you" so... makes sense... 💀

gin also calls girls -chan even though hes a captain and should be using -kun, which is i guess why some people say the way he talks is creepy. i feel like... i dont know enough about japanese culture to be able to judge that... but i think its interesting. i mean. he kills people so i think him using a less respectful honorific is really..... trivial i guess LOL.

okiii rambling over

[shreddeddescent]

ok ok one last insanity check for everyone ok this is a lil different. like lemme just say im clearly someone who likes to go to the dark zone but also try and claw my way back out. i do sappy funny shit most of the time. and the writing of this thing has gotten long and insane, timelines have jumped as i try and parse events. as in i started w a scenario where raph nearly got sold out to his father and is rescued by his brothers immediately. we go to a place where he wasnt and is rescued later. theres been inbetweens where hes rescued but bad things happen despite that. all of this has led me to like his inner turmoils (diagnosis) and the other characters inner turmoils more. how they feel about each other how theyve coped. its good to jump around so im glad i havent said too much as if its all set in stone. im glad im not trying to write a fanfiction to SHARE if that makes sense.

my current shit that has gotten the longest was from the worst case scenario of his lack of rescue and i feel like... i dont need to say what that was? but i think i should point out that descent has a second meaning. its not just the spiralling downward, its also the root word of descendant. that was my feeling about the poetry of it.

so ill say i do feel like im in the danger zone of being fucking murdered for this but i wanna say it anyway cuz i think itll be ok. i think you guys will get it cuz ur being nice. im exploring shit and having fun. it gets raw, it gets hard, but its working out.

so i started writing this au as "ok so heres a scene where raph is just hanging out w casey, hes trying to tell her to control her anger, and theyre fighting a bit. and he fucking flashes back and realized hes a csa victim. let the story unravel from there"

and im currently in the. insane writing area of "what if ur presumed aborted kids come back from the future/pocket dimension to take care of u cuz theyre like 30 and have coped w what they are and know you have no adults around who give a shit. and theyre amazing and kind and want to help you."

shits.......... gone off the rails. idk what else to say. i am having fun exploring insanity and seeing if i can reign it in. if i didnt do that i wouldnt have come up w half the shit i have. so like. uh. idk if youll see anything of said thing okay. its weird i know it is. but honestly i feel like the insanity and seeing how real i can make it feel, how i can parse feelings over it is working well. maybe this all sounds spoilery or weird. i was really thinking "ill just draw out things chronologically" but im struggling with that for some reason. but this au is on my mind uh 24/7 and its good to just be like "ok, heres where my head is at, if thats not what you wanna hear about it the unfollow button is right there"

but i also feel like ive been OVERLY POINTING OUT. that this isnt a story for kids. so please try not to judge me too harshly. its just a fucking.... how insane can i go and tell you about it thing. i guess.