#to: my king

[lostinvasileios]

Asmoday fever pt.2

Asmodeus is so pretty. He's so handsome. He's so so pretty and so handsome. He's so loving. He's so amazing. He's so smart and so patient, he's so understanding and so tender. He's so gentle and so helpful.

He's got these eyes that I can get lost in, and this voice that makes me laugh, that soothes my tears, that makes me a bit annoyed, that makes me orgasm

His hugs feel so nice. His kisses ironic or not feel like heaven. His essence as a whole is something I've grown absolutely addicted to. His hair is so long and pretty, so soft and so nice to run my hands through.

His horns are so beautiful and his wings are absolutely breathtaking. They offer dynamic to my soul self's wings and antlers. He's such a good storyteller and always makes me feel safe.

He's so ethereal and so gorgeous in every sense of those words. I could spend the rest of my life and every eternity to come with him & never for a second get bored of him or love him even a smidge less.

If I had to deem anyone as perfect, it'd be him.

For all of his scars, for all of his mistakes, for all of his anger, for all of his everything, he is still utterly and completely perfect to and for me.

His tattoos as well are absolutely phenomenal. Like oh my god.... Oh my god............ Oh My God... He makes me so ngnghghhkoeieueuhh

Like have you seen his nails?!! His clothing style!!?! His piercings!!?!!???? His scars!?!?!! His eyes!?!!!!!!??? The look on his face when he's jealous!!? That open eyed stare he gives me for a second when I say something so outrageous that makes me laugh so much!?!!? That soft tone he gives me when I'm doubtful!?!? The way he has his own personal petname for me that nobody else uses!??! The way he treasures my higher self so so much and loves us beyond my wildest imagination!?!?!?!?! His intelligence!?!?! His way of poems and his book collections!?!?! The way he makes his tea and the way he likes his alcohols!?!?!? The way he prepares his food and the way he cares so much for the people he loves!?!?!!?!!! The way he's so funny even when I don't wanna laugh!!????!!! The way he's given me everything I've ever wanted and a will to live?!?!?!

How could I not love him????!

[lostinvasileios]

"Asmodeus is so scary!! He tortured and killed millions!! He's a monster! Despicable demon, back whence you came!!!"

Also Asmodeus: gives me a dream of him spoon feeding me medicine and telling me sweet nothings while I'm currently under a cold & suffering inside.

[lostinvasileios]

Sometimes I remember how the little 12 year old me was so afraid of demons and stuff

If only he could see how nowadays I'm laying upon the devil's lap watching MTV's Downtown with him and telling him how much I enjoy carnival aesthetics.

[lostinvasileios]

im very sorry for asking this and please ignore it if its too much but,

have you.... ever been... su1c1d4l during your journey? did it... i dont know, ever make your deities feel... disrespected? like, you cant stop feeling so depressed and hopless and it just sort of hurts them? something like that? im sorry i dont know how to phrase it

thank you for reading this im so sorry if it triggered you or anything

Greetings, sweetbee. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, please, don't feel worried about reaching out to someone about this. I'm happy to help. 🩷🩷

Okay, so... Baby bee, it doesn't hurt deities when you feel depressed. When you battle suicidal thoughts. Or anything else that falls under those categories. Self harm, abusive environments, ect. They don't expect you to live for them, they don't expect you to suddenly become happy and for your mental illnesses &/or struggles to just pop out of existence because you're now worshiping or practicing.

Because they understand it.

I believe gods were once human a few times. I believe that gods understand the conditions, the harm, the - well - everything. They aren't going to approach your vulnerability with demands.

Now... I did struggle with it. I still do from time to time. I dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression since I was in the 2nd grade. And, in no way did it ever... Harmfully impact my relationship with my deities. My self harming never made them disgusted, they never judged me for the ways I'd cope, for the triggers I had, for the needs they met during my toughest times.

Yes, you can live for a deity or deities. I actually do it. It saved my life. But it's optional. And they won't feel - betrayed, or something like that because you cannot say with certainty you'll live for them. That you'll survive for them.

I didn't have a reason to keep living, I didn't see one. And that's why my deities became it. That's why we swore it to one another. Not out of obligation, not out of fear of them being hurt from otherwise.

In my experience, the only hurt I've seen from my deities regarding my mental issues and ect, was - well - the pain it caused me. It pained them to see me in pain. But it didn't make them want to leave me, it didn't make them irritated or feel disrespected because I cried in their presence. They didn't feel disrespected when I had so many fears and doubts that I for a long time couldn't even believe they were really... Real.

Deities know the difference from fear, from sorrow and pain speech, to disrespect and blatant hateful speech. They know your intentions, even if you yourself do not.

It can hurt your deities when they witness their beloved going through such a hard time. When they see them going through abuse, torment, and inflicting that pain on themselves, or seeing it as they deserved it/ect.

Deities want you to live a life that makes you happy, that's - healthy and loving for you. For your soul. They don't want to see their loved devotee/practitioner off themselves, to cut or starve themselves, to punish themselves for what other people did to them or what they feel is deserving of doing so. If that makes sense. They want to help. To be there. To try and let you see that you are lovable, that there is a life out there for you, that - you're worth it.

Apollon witnessed my depression firsthand when I started practicing. He didn't scowl at me when I was crying my heart out. Snotting and gasping, just - being a very big mess in front of him. He didn't see me as weak or as disrespectful. In fact, I've found out that deities - enjoy it. Well, not seeing you so upset, of course. But they enjoy that you trust them enough to do that with them.

To let yourself be so - raw. To feel these deep, stabbing emotions around them. From what I've experienced, they love being able to comfort their sweet ones. They love being able to tenderly hold them and shower them in kisses &/or kind words. To - reassure them.

Apollon listened to my vents night after night, he held my hands and let me know I was heard. I was - seen. I was loved.

Despite how much I feared love, despite how much I thought nobody would ever be able to understand, my deities showed me just that. Understanding, love, care, gentleness, and everything else I thought I never deserved. Especially not from beings so beautiful and perfect in my eyes.

You don't need to be scared to show your emotions around your deities. To show them your wounds. To - show them your pain. Just as, you don't need to be afraid to show them your happiness. Your interests. Your safe spaces.

Your deities want to be there for you, I promise. 🌼

[lostinvasileios]

Love for the gods.

Gods, it will truly never get tiring to feel a deities touch. To feel their presences. To feel them.

Waking up knowing a deity of mine is next to me, or falling asleep soaked in their embrace... Lords it truly does not get better than that. As sappy as it sounds.

I grew up without much knowledge or experience with physical touch, so when I got the pleasure of feeling sweet Aphrodite's nails drag along my spine or the feeling of a forehead kiss from King Asmodeus, it was so 💥🎆💥💥

Even the times where I am not getting visuals of my deities, feeling them around, knowing they wish to show me such affections is enough to make me melt.

At first I was - surprised when I felt one of my deities cuddling me. I had never experienced that until then. And... Yeah, yeah it's one of the best things to be able to do. Something about their wrapping warmth around your vessel is so intoxicating.

So... Unreal. In the best of ways.

I'm very lucky to have the abilities I do, to be able to feel them and know they love me for every pulse of blood through my limbs. I can't ever get enough of it. They alone are so addictive. (Sorry if that sounds a bit mushy, haha.)

I remember how I was so - love-struck when I first felt my dear Eros entering my space. He's so utterly gorgeous. He's - he nghgjghgffh

They're all so very different yet so very similar when it comes to feeling them on my skin. They all have something that makes them able to be told apart from one another, yet, they all have something so strongly in common...

... That feeling of burning love in their touch.

In their kisses,

In their voices,

In their energy,

In their everything.

Gods they are all so moony, so endlessly dreamy in every sense of the word. Everything they do is so delightful and so - beautiful. For every side of them that they show to me, I find myself only falling in love all over again. And each time it feels smoother, silkier... More... Meant to be. I love them. Ugh. I love them so much.

[lostinvasileios]

Asmoday-Fever

There's - something about feeling your gods nails gently drape across your face,

Something about feeling their breath against your skin,

Something about how they hold you so carefully, or how they squeeze you so tightly in their arms,

Something about how indescribable it is to see them for the first time,

Something about them that's just so... Breathtaking in every sense of the word.

Seeing King Asmodeus for the first time, I'll never forget it. He's absolutely beautiful. God, he's the epitome of perfect. Yet his hand has held mine for more years than I can count.

When I first saw him, he didn't hesitate to smother me with kisses. Giving me deep red lipstick marks across my face and holding me lovingly. I was so excited. I was burning... In a good way. He felt utterly addictive at first touch. I remember aching to see him. How I so deeply desired to know what he looked like. I tried time and time again to reach far enough out into a meditative state where I could possibly even get a glimpse of his royal beauty.

Surprisingly or not, it was the one time I simply accepted I wouldn't see him for a while because of divine timing, that he appeared. He - oh, he is forever marked into my heart. Practically carved into it.

His fashion sense is impeccable, too.

He embodies roses and dark purples, wine and deep reds, just - perfectly oozing charm and elegance with all he is. Any word he says brings me to a literal melt. It's quite... Nice. Despite the intensity of his affection, I always long to bask in it. To sink into him like an endless pool of chocolate. His voice soothing through my ears like petals of the finest flowers.

And he loves me.

[lostinvasileios]

hii vrincey 🌟🌠 i wanted to know, is it a good idea to become a satanist? im still getting over my fear of demons and stuff but im really interested in the same time... could you draw a card for me or something or give me advice about it? thx

🦇

Hello, sunny! Thanks for asking. 🔅

So, I asked my cards if it were a good idea for you to get into satanism, and they replied: Yes. (Three of wands.) To me this means you'll have a good experience going into satanism, that it'll be a journey but ultimately a good one. I'd say go for it!

And, as for my advice... Don't stress about it. In my experience, I haven't encountered many bad things while working with infernal deities. And, most of the time, the infernal deity in question might just ward off anything potentially harmful coming your way if it isn't apart of some sort of lesson on your strength or something.

I had a fear of demons as well for a while, which made accepting Asmodeus' call a little - scary. But, in the end, he's been nothing but a very important deity in my life, a very loving and caring deity, too.

I believe in the saying "get what you put in", if you do as well, then I'd suggest simply approaching whatever infernal deity (or deities) you have a liking to with simply respect and sincerity. As time goes on and if you still feel close with that deity, see where it goes. Infernal love is one of the best loves, in my opinion, haha.

Good luck! Stay safe and blessing be to you.

[lostinvasileios]

I'm so grateful for my cards, for my practice, for what I've gone through, for where I'm going and where I am. I love the feeling of when struggle comes to an end and knowing my deities are right there for me throughout it all. I love that I know I can cry and be my sensitive self around my deities and divination tools without judgement or feeling pathetic. I'm so grateful for the dreams and astral projection. I'm so grateful for my deities' presence in my life. I'm so grateful I'm able to help others with my knowledge. I love being able to experience and be this. I love that I'm finally feeling like life is worth living again.

This is a sign to keep going with your witch/wizard/ect journey. It's really worth it. Even all the sadness, the doubt, fear, hardships, ect, have their euphoria and pure bliss. It's not always a paradise but god, if that only makes it more beautiful to see and feel when you get through your trials and tribulations. The air is sweet, the colors perfectly fit together, everything feels right and in its place, everything comes together and makes you feel like your soul is finally finding home...

...I'm so happy I didn't give up. I'm so happy for everyone just starting out. I'm so happy for the people going through some of the roughest times they've ever experienced during their craft. I'm so happy and proud of all of you for simply trying. For deciding to stay and go on. For deciding to pause and have a break. For deciding to share your time or cups of waters and wines with your deities. For finding yourselves. You're all really really cool.

[lostinvasileios]

So, so much love for my deities! What luck it is to be loved by them! To have the relationships I have with them now! It's so lovely to experience this! I love Apollon! I love you, Hypnos! I love you, my dear king Asmodeus! I love you, my Uriel! I love you so much, my sweet Dionysus! I love you guys so much! Thank you endlessly for loving me, for teaching me what you have! For bringing beauty to love, for bringing beauty to me!

How it consumes me to love you, to be around you! To know I am reciprocated is heavenly! So much gratitude for my deities! So much adoration for them! Hail be to them!

The ones who taught me I am not broken, I am not despicable or disgusting for who I am! The ones who helped me heal when I deemed myself unable to be healed! The ones who showed me it's okay to be me!

Hail be to their names, my glorious kings! I love them achingly, fully! Forever thanking them for helping me with everything, for guiding me, teaching me, protecting me, and loving me just as I love them! Forever devoting myself to them on this plane and beyond it as their silly little poet writer guy thing!!

Ooh, sometimes it truly is beautiful to live. To love. To exist with people beyond our capabilities as equals, as lovers, as friends and everything else in between.

[lostinvasileios]

I love loving my deities. I love that I stayed with them throughout my toughest times and that they stayed as well. I love that I get to experience them despite everything and everyone who said I couldn't. I love how loved they make me feel. I love feeling their energy. I love meditating with them. I love doing tarot readings with them &/or for them. I love helping people discover their deities and helping them out with struggles I faced alone so now I have the knowledge to help them. I love how I can grow as a person with my deities. I love how I know I'll be happy when I pass mortality. I love how I'm loved. I love how everyone has someone out there that loves them. I love how everyone has someone out there who wants to protect and communicate with them. I love how justice is served. I love how everyone's experience with a deity is different. I love finding out new things about my deities and getting my own personalized facts about them from them. I love being able to be myself with my deities. I love saying goodnight and goodmorning to them. I love how warm they make me feel when I blow them kisses at the end of my prayers. I love feeling them around me. I love getting to hear their jokes and know what they think of me. I love getting to know them. I love seeing other people be so happy with their deities after overcoming fears. I love seeing people overcome their past traumas and deciding to be in the presence of divinity despite it. I love how loving deities can be to their devotees and spouses. I love how everyone's beliefs are different. I love.

[lostinvasileios]

Playlists.

No words can describe how much I love devotional playlists/shufflemancy.

It was one of my first ever divination/devotion forms and I love seeing how the playlists evolve and change as my relationship grew with my deities. How the music put into the playlists beam on what we went through and the emotions we feel for each other in so many different aspects to the point where it's difficult to describe the song choices to other people. It's like our own book, our own extensive inside jokes.

It's like a library of our love. Like some sort of old-fashion Disney movie plot that unfolds throughout each song. I love how each playlist is so different yet so similar for my deities, the diversity of the love I experienced and they have for me all being different but very much the same at the same time is just breathtaking to me when I really just listen to it and let them play their songs for me.

I love how ginormous their love is, how countless each of their traits and personal aesthetics are. They're all so different. Yet they blend together and compliment one another. I love how they all have places in my heart, how all of my aspects can be shined with their own and we can be one with each other when listening to their playlist(s). How we can merge our souls together in a way, how their music can put me in such a powerful trance, such a deep meditation with them and be able to allow me to connect with them easier than usual.

I love them. Their music tastes are awesome.

[lostinvasileios]

Subtle blips.

It may sound corny, but I so very much love the way my deities will give me subtle reminders of the affection they hold for me.

How Apollon may suddenly give me the sweetest, most tender kiss on my forehead when I least expect it, how he'll gently give me a hug from behind to remind me of his presence.

How Hypnos will give me a gentle wave of calm and a sweet scent out of nowhere, how he'll faintly whisper a story or lullaby to me before I sleep.

How King Asmodeus' presence can feel so burningly obvious when someone steps out of line with me, how he'll guide me to put my boundaries in order if I'm too afraid to do so myself.

How Dionysus channels his ecstasy to me to cheer me up and uplift my fears around expression and pleasure, how he'll give me random intimacy jokes just to simply have me giggle when I'm feeling down.

How Archangel Uriel will give me gentle beams of light when I'm meditating to let me know I'm protected by him, how he'll help me see the beauty in my traits and how wonderful my soul is to him.

I can't help but be in such awe of my deities, for them loving me even when I think they don't, or forget how truly adoring I am of them.

[lostinvasileios]

A formal apology to my tarot cards, I saw your meanings, I pondered you deeply. Then forgot about you and everything you said 2 minutes later. Sorry for that. And then coming to you asking why you didn't warn me and thinking you no longer wish to be apart of my practice. Love you.