#or its just a tentative we should catch up do xyz sometime.
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social isolation my worstie!!!
#forcing myself to go to a work event later in the month as an excuse to leave the house.#but im so over this.. but at the same time idk how to get out.#like i honestly dont think i have a single irl friend.#partly my fault but at the same time i just dont feel like close enough to anyone.#and i dont want to invite myself to things bc i feel like im intruding.#and then if i ask people to hang out plans tend to fall through most of the time.#or its just a tentative we should catch up do xyz sometime.#dont even get my started about romantic relationships...#the guy i last hooked up with has a gf now.#the one guy friend i had is back with his gf who hates me so he stopped talking to me.#probably doesnt help that we almost hooked up a few months ago when they were on a break.#:)))))#ive come to the conclusion im going to die alone and unhappy so thats fun.#rly should attempt to find a therapist but therapy also scares the shit out of me#bc every time ive been open abt what im thinking or feeling it gets invalidated or im judged for feeling a certain way#lola speaks#ngl i just wanna go apeshit as a coping mechanism which is not a good thing but at least its something
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