cursivebloodlines

[cursivebloodlines]

just wanted to let you guys know i got my marks back, 96% :) over the moon! i am hiding in drafts/inbox as usual but just wanted to keep you all updated xx

hello you lovely lot <3

first of all is the usual apologies. i submitted my second assignment a few days ago for uni. i should get my marks back by christmas eve, apparently! which is good because we weren't expecting until like next year. anyway. the last few weeks of doing nutrition have been absolute hell and literally for most of this week i'd been up to stupid o'clock trying to finish the damn thing.

anyway, i'm now a week behind on studies which is fun. but there's a 2 week break for christmas coming up, so i plan on catching up then. i had a few nights of just lying in bed watching tv and now i'm back at my desk trying to work on things.

i can only profusely apologise for disappearing for what feels like forever again. i am just always grateful that you're all still willing to write with me and for that i can't thank you guys enough. that being said, i would completely understand if people don't because of how slow i am, that's okay :) and i've ghosted everyone for months probably because i just have 0 energy. but that could be the b12 deficiency i need retesting that haven't had chance to yet

phew. that a mouthful!!! anyway. i'm here, i'm lurking. probs won't get a lot done but i will try :) i'm at my desk where i like the clippyclappy keyboard. just gotta get some inspo so might look on pinterest or reread threads/our ship tags/etc. i just feel like i've been gone so long that my writing is so bad (not that it ever was brilliant to begin with omg) but i haven't written creatively in ages and dlgjslgasdg

i still have memes from like over a year ago. so i might give some of those a whirl to get those juices flowinggggg~ even though the inbox is full, you're more than welcome to send more. i hoard them until you forget you've sent them and when the inspo hits, i love to surprise yous hehehe.

anyway! much love! love you all so much. i hope in 2025 i will be more consistent. anyway, i've been saying that for years and it hasn't happened. but i just wanted you to know that this is me trying <3 at least i'm trying!

hope you're all doing well! much love to you all xxxx

[cursivebloodlines]

hello you lovely lot <3

first of all is the usual apologies. i submitted my second assignment a few days ago for uni. i should get my marks back by christmas eve, apparently! which is good because we weren't expecting until like next year. anyway. the last few weeks of doing nutrition have been absolute hell and literally for most of this week i'd been up to stupid o'clock trying to finish the damn thing.

anyway, i'm now a week behind on studies which is fun. but there's a 2 week break for christmas coming up, so i plan on catching up then. i had a few nights of just lying in bed watching tv and now i'm back at my desk trying to work on things.

i can only profusely apologise for disappearing for what feels like forever again. i am just always grateful that you're all still willing to write with me and for that i can't thank you guys enough. that being said, i would completely understand if people don't because of how slow i am, that's okay :) and i've ghosted everyone for months probably because i just have 0 energy. but that could be the b12 deficiency i need retesting that haven't had chance to yet

phew. that a mouthful!!! anyway. i'm here, i'm lurking. probs won't get a lot done but i will try :) i'm at my desk where i like the clippyclappy keyboard. just gotta get some inspo so might look on pinterest or reread threads/our ship tags/etc. i just feel like i've been gone so long that my writing is so bad (not that it ever was brilliant to begin with omg) but i haven't written creatively in ages and dlgjslgasdg

i still have memes from like over a year ago. so i might give some of those a whirl to get those juices flowinggggg~ even though the inbox is full, you're more than welcome to send more. i hoard them until you forget you've sent them and when the inspo hits, i love to surprise yous hehehe.

anyway! much love! love you all so much. i hope in 2025 i will be more consistent. anyway, i've been saying that for years and it hasn't happened. but i just wanted you to know that this is me trying <3 at least i'm trying!

hope you're all doing well! much love to you all xxxx

[cursivebloodlines]

AJ COOK as JENNIFER JAREAU criminal minds - s10e01 

[cursivebloodlines]

"My biggest trouble is that people look at me and think that no serious trouble has ever troubled my little head. They seldom realize the chaos that seethes behind my exterior."

- Sylvia Plath

[cursivebloodlines]

i know i keep coming/going without really posting anything but just wanted to let you guys know - my first assignment for uni got marked and i had the feedback received yesterday! guess what? i got full marks! (100/100!) i'm genuinely in shock and so pleased with the results :) it can only go down from here lmfao! anyway just in case anyone wanted to know <3

[cursivebloodlines]

not me missing my clown zoe's bday on the 30th oct!!

i'm fed up of studying and i cba to load up sims so i'm gonna try and write some drafts instead for a change :) love you all, thanks so much for sticking with me! currently finding it v tricky to keep a balance of everything so thanks for still being here. appreciate you tons. <3

and on another note: what the fuck america voting that mf convicted criminal tangerine???? like guys??? i don't even go here but i'm so sorry for you all ): absolute madness.

[cursivebloodlines]

spent my evening counting leukocytes on a digital microscope and submitting them to my tutor grou's wiki so i'm gonna reward myself with attempting replies! i want to get a few done before i consider posting them tho. i'm operating at a snail's pace because work's kicking my ass and then doing uni stuff too is like aaaaa and then having a life on top of that???? i'm really tryna do it all lmfao

anyway time to hide in drafts! happy monday, hope you're all well! love u lots x

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hiii! i spent a lot of today studying finally so i've decided now i'm home from the theatre, i'm gonna treat myself to replying to tumblr ims and work on a couple of drafts! i also typically have a bad tummy again tho and i'm sleep deprived after not getting much sleep last night so i'm not sure how long this is gonna last as it's 11:25pm right now and i might crash at any point but!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna try! starting with the drafts i didn't get to complete last time i did a round of replies! hope everyone's well, love u all lots xxx

[cursivebloodlines]

hii guys just a post to say hello! i'm alive! (barely!)

i'm better and went back to work on monday. it has been absolute chaos. i'm exhausted, absolutely shattered. on top of that, i've started uni and i'm struggling to balance my time atm because i am sooo drained from work.

which of course, in turn has left me abandoning you guys :( and leaving messages unanswered yet again! so for that i can only apologise. i will try and get back to you and owed replies when i can try and juggle my time and my health accordingly! i might treat myself to tumblr and rp as a reward for doing uni stuff wahahaha!

hope you're all doing well! so so sorry for being flaky yet again and thank u so much for putting up with me! love you all always <3 this weekend is a busy one, but i'm gonna try and at least reply to my dms at some stage because i'm just so sorry omg. love and miss you all!

on a completely unrelated irrelevant note: the next character to join my faves on criminal minds is rossi. idk man i think hes great. i'm not even up up to the part where he joins the team yet but i keep sneaking a watch when my mum has it on! (tho lbr i love all of them. i am v attached to reid and hotch but rossi is a close third rn. in case anyone cares LOL)

[cursivebloodlines]

hi guys! right so long story, i got out on saturday because i decided to discharge myself against medical advice (sue me). i couldn't stand to be in there another night, i didn't have it in me mentally. so the doc said i only had a minor wheeze on both sides, and he wanted me to stay an extra night so they could try and get rid of the wheeze completely with the nebulisers. but yeah i was like no, you guys have been telling me i'm going home "tomorrow" every day. and my anxiety was really bad. this time of year is the worst for me anyway coming up to the passing of my nan as you guys probably know (or don't!) so being there just brought all sorts of things back. that being said, i've been self managing at home with prescribed meds & inhaler and i haven't deteriorated yet, so that's good! tho i'm def still not right by all means aha

so thanks for all the lovely messages! sorry as always for not replying to everyone as of yet. the meds i'm on have been making me a bit woozy and not very well but i am getting there. to top it all off, i turned up for my doctor's appointment a whole 24 hours early :) been telling everyone my appt is today when it's actually tomorrow, ffs.

hope you're all doing good and hope to be back here soon! but also uni is about to start at the end of the week so who knows :D just great that i get ill when i'm about to start a whole ass degree LOL but that's just my luck!

hii guys hope everyone’s okie! I’ve been in hospital since Thursday and they keep telling me I’ll come out tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and they say tomorrow again. genuinely hoping for a miracle to let me out today because I’m going insane. I can’t sleep here, everything to do with hospitals is too triggering at this time of year. I miss my doggos. Sorry I just wanted to vent 😭

[cursivebloodlines]

hii guys hope everyone’s okie! I’ve been in hospital since Thursday and they keep telling me I’ll come out tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and they say tomorrow again. genuinely hoping for a miracle to let me out today because I’m going insane. I can’t sleep here, everything to do with hospitals is too triggering at this time of year. I miss my doggos. Sorry I just wanted to vent 😭

[cursivebloodlines]

hi guys! sorry i hadn't written anything yesterday, was too tired. then today i was doing a bit of uni stuffs. and i was planning on writing but we've just found out a family member, my great auntie, has passed away this afternoon. so i'm not really feeling anything right now - apologies. will try and reply to some msgs tonight tho xx

[cursivebloodlines]

hi guys! not gonna lie, i did fuck all yesterday :( i was exhausted after work and was having bit of tummy troubles again. am doing so today :)) my uni module site has opened up today, very exciting stuff! i am already completely overwhelmed at the amount of infomation on there omg. but we don't officially start til oct anyway. i've done the induction stuff already, and so i'm probably just going to go through the intro on the first topic and call it a night LOL. i will try and write things and again, i'll stick them in the queue for tomorrow. if i get enough to post 5 a day then i will. when i'm up to date with stuff (not counting anything that comes in after i post this) i'll probs be back properly and post replies as i finish them. but if i get overwhelmed i'll just queue them up again :')

anyway hope you're all doing good! gonna catch up with messages soon!

[cursivebloodlines]

(c)

[cursivebloodlines]

Finn couldn’t believe this. How had he changed? How did this go from a disagreement about their relationship status to talking about how he had changed? Her words silenced him, made him feel like he was stuck in motion. Part of him wanted to tell her to screw it then. If that’s how she felt then fuck her, right? But he couldn’t. Normally, he was the type of guy who could brush it off, not let people’s opinions get to his head. But Riley? She was different. As much as he hated to admit it, he valued what she thought about him. So, to hear her tell him he’s changed, and not for the better…It stung. Was he in the wrong? At first, he thought definitely not but now, he wasn’t so sure. “How have I changed? How?” He quizzed, voice filled with perplexity. “Riley, come on, tell me.” Finn urged gently, his hand reaching out to grab hers in a feeble attempt to prevent her from leaving. Buying him more time.

Slowly shaking her head, Riley had seen the changes in Finley. She saw that he wasn't but at the same time was the same person. Here with her, he was the same. The same old guy that was her best friend. Someone she ended up trusting and letting in. This was why she didn't let people into her life, why she shut them out and didn't give them any care or love because in one quick move they could break you. ❝ You have changed Fin... and I'm not going to stand around and watch it. I'm sorry. ❞ She stated as she shook her head slowly before finding herself going to walk away. If all eyes were on her because she was with him, she could have accepted that. She was easy to ignore other people when they were pestering herself.

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Lydia’s thoughts swirled with the possibilities of what might come next. It felt almost unreal that she was standing here with another person, a living, breathing human being, after so many years of isolation. It changed everything, including the very world she came to know of it; one that consisted with loneliness and solitude.. The prospect of sharing that space, both physical and emotional, with someone else was daunting and exhilarating in equal measure. Daunting, knowing that at any point, he could turn on her. After all, she did not know this man, nor did she instantly trust him. But what other choice did she have? She survived this long on her own. It wasn’t much of a life. Which leads to the exhilarating feeling. Having someone by her side, someone she could hold a conversation with. They could help each other. And if it all falls apart, then so be it. Many times, she wondered whether still being around when everyone else was dead, whether it was worth it, to keep going when she had no reason to keep on going. Everyone she ever loved was dead. And yet, for some reason she kept going. Whether it just meant she was stubborn, or a coward, she wasn’t sure. But she kept going anyway. Having someone else here, to bounce ideas off of, to feed their social needs. It was better than nothing.

The idea of having someone else to rely on, someone to share the burdens of survival with, felt like a lifeline she hadn’t known she needed until now. His suggestion to explore both their places, to see which would be better to stay, seemed like a reasonable first step. It was practical. Logical.  Lydia couldn’t help but let out a soft, almost relieved laugh. There was something strangely comforting about the way Cameron was approaching this. It was a mix of practicality and humanity that she hadn’t encountered in a long time. His reasonings were right, and if anything, she felt the same. “Yeah, me too actually,” she agreed in response to his comment about going insane if he had to spent another night alone. It was smart, at least he was a good thinker. At least they both seemed to have a few brain cells remaining.

 His offer to part ways if she preferred meant a lot, even if it was the simplest of gestures. It didn’t necessarily mean immediate trust, but it meant he respected her. And she had no reason not to trust him. “Well,” she began, her voice carrying a newfound steadiness as she adjusted to the reality of speaking to another person, “I suppose there’s no harm in checking out each other’s places. It’ll give us a better idea of how we might proceed.” she added, gesturing around her. “Plus, it’s not every day you get to show someone around after being alone for so long.” And it’s not like either of them had full schedules, she mused to herself. “I, it’s not very big by all means. Quite a tight space, but it’s secure.” For now, she silently added at the end. “But I think I can make room if we decide to stay there. Will have to shuffle things about but it's certainly doable. What about yours?” Her smile grew a bit more as she added, “And don’t worry, I’m not kicking you to the curb just yet. I think sticking together will be better. For both of us.”

Lydia’s gaze softened as she looked at Cameron, the initial shock of their encounter starting to give way to a tentative hope. For the first time in a long while, the future seemed a little less lonely, and the thought of companionship, however uncertain, was a welcome change to countless nights of having to listen to her own racing thoughts. “So, shall we?” she asked, gesturing for them to start moving.

Most things that were alive weren't actually alive. They were just figures that resembled what humans use to look like. They didn't talk like he did anymore, they didn't have any sort of mind it was just mush and being alone now was all that he knew now at this point. Trying to survive this world. How was one supposed to survive and bring back the human race? Bring back buildings, gardens, just life itself when you were this alone. Isolation was something that nobody should ever experience this much and he was glad that he at least had a dog that he was taking care of to talk to and pretend to be having a conversation with but what he really wanted was real human interaction and he dreamed that one day he would find someone and talk to them again but when that day came what would happen? Now that day has come... what were they to do now.

How was he supposed to just blindly trust a random human being at this point in his life? Before hand he would have trusted blindly but now it was a whole other equation in the mixture. Now it was a matter of would she turn against him and steal all the things he had? Would she hold a gun to his head and make him do what she wanted. All he could do was keep his guard up as much as he could with her around. With the lose of so many lives, the lose of his late fiancee, the lose of his best friend, his parents, there was only so much lose one person could take. He was the one who put a bullet between his fiancee's eyes so she wouldn't suffer. It was that moment that he lost everything and that moment that he shut out his emotions. Standing here now though, before a beautiful woman, before a flesh breathing woman there was only so much they could do and the question still stood about what they would do.

Licking his lips as they felt so dry he listened to her voice. It was like an angelic voice that spoke because it was someone else. It was someone aside from himself and listening to her made him very attentive to what she was saying. There were some nights where he just physically couldn't get any shut eye because of the memories that would fill his eyes every time they shut. He could physically see the terror of the world, of the blood and it made him sick to his stomach. ❝ It's good to try and keep things fun for yourself, otherwise you would go completely insane. We're almost there but not yet. ❞ He tried to joke about with a half smile as he rose up part of his brow. With the direct question it was one that he was going to ask himself. His eyes scanned around their surroundings as he looked back to Lydia. ❝ Sticking together would probably be the smartest outcome for the both of us. More protection and social interaction. If I spend one more night alone I might just lose it completely. ❞ He stated as he put the gun back over his shoulder. ❝ How big is your place? We can see both places and see who's is best to set up camp. If you want me to fuck right off well just tell me now and we will go separate ways but I think we should stick together. ❞

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There was something about her…Dougie couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Whatever Meeka had been through, for her to be missing for so long, it had clearly done a number on her. And that was to be expected, wasn’t it? For someone to be missing for so long…god, he was lucky that she was here in one piece. She seemed so fragile and understandably so. But that wasn’t it. It was something else. Something he still couldn’t place, no matter how intensely he stared at her. The way she didn’t so much as bat an eyelid at the mention of Scotland, after they had so many talks about going back someday, show her around the gorgeous sights, drag her around where he was born, where he spent his childhood…But nothing. Not even a little bit of familiarity or recognition. It broke his heart. Of course it wasn’t her fault in the slightest… but it didn’t do much to soothe the ache in his chest.

Even her name, or more so her nickname… she didn’t recognise that either. Nothing he said registered. Of course, Dougie knew her name was Mekayla. He’d never called her that, nor did he ever recall anyone calling her that. It was always Meeka. His Meeka, or some sort of variation of a loving pet name as they often did with each other. “Okay, okay,” he said in surrender, trying to sound as soothing or comforting as possible, not wanting to startle her or freak her out. “Mekayla it is. I’m sorry, I must’ve gotten confused or…or something….” Didn’t really sound convincing but Dougie had always been crap at lying. Playing along seemed to be the only option that sprung to mind for now, but ultimately would it make things worse? He didn’t know, he was just trying his best. Something about what she was saying just didn’t…It confused him so much. She’s so old. Why was she continuing to emphasise her age?

There was something distinctly childlike and young about the way Meeka spoke. From her mannerisms to the words she spoke, the way she acted. It meant something, it had to mean something. But what? Think, Dougie, think. Cogs were turning and rotating in his mind but it’s like something just would not click. He had the pieces, but couldn’t slot the puzzle together. His stress levels and anxiety certainly didn’t ease his racing thoughts either. She wouldn’t have to listen to anyone. Swallowing thickly, he nodded his head slowly, paying her his full, undivided attention. “The angels were right, darling. This is a safe space, you did the right thing,” he assured her, his voice calm and as even-levelled as he could possibly muster. He was doing his best to play along, maybe if he played along, he could get a picture of what happened. “Nobody’s going to find you here, I promise.” Kita…his mind thought back and he recognised the name instantly. Nikki. “And Kita is safe, I know she is,” Dougie promised, offering her a watery smile. “Can you tell me something?” he spoke softly. “Do you remember where you ran away from, Mee - Mekayla? You were gone for a while.”

She observed him closely, but couldn't quite place the emotions in his expression. "Scotland." It didn't appear to ring any bells, but she and Dougie had spoken about visiting his home someday. He and her daughter Kat had even spoken about her potentially going there for the ballet. ...Poor Kat, distraught at the loss of her mother, had locked herself away for the first few months, even when she came out, she had turned mute.

Her hearing wasn't as it was. Though she had her hearing aid in, the battery was long dead, so went the ear. The other had deteriorated over the course of her being missing. "Meeka?" She repeated, unsure if she heard him correctly. "Meeka... Meeka..like Me-kayla? I'm Mekayla. That's my name. Mekayla." It had been the name she had been born with, but hell if she ever went by it, not in years. She wanted him to understand her, trying to smooth out her accent but it just sounded wrong. "And I'm not her, I can't be. She's so old." Why was age so important? "She wouldn't have to listen to anyone."

But she did. 'Mekayla' did. "I know I shouldn't have run away, but the angels said to come here. They said I'd be safe here, and Dad won't find me. Dad said the next time I or Kita fuck up, he'll kill us. But Kita wasn't there, she must be safe, right? She has to be." Fear crossed her expression, gripping her tightly.