#FUCK AND I FORGOT YOU SAID THIS WAS ABOUT GENDER SO I DIDNT EVEN GET INTO THE FEMINIST LENS FUCK FUCK FUCK.

[sporesgalaxy]

The way Dungeon Meshi does gender makes me insane. It’s stated over and over that Falin and Laios really are more similar than anyone is looking for- Laios directly states as much at one point, Marcille mentions it when Falin wakes up the first time and starts bemoaning not eating any monsters, the magic mirror story even has fem!Toshiro crushing on Laios- but Laios is so protective of his little sister. Laios leaves home to start making a life he can one day share with her. And she leaves magic school because he has failed, and failed so hard that she’s worried that she might never see him again if she lets him leave without her. He wants to protect her from the way the world treats him, but he does not or does not want to understand the terrible truth- the world will never treat her as harshly as it does him, because she is a pretty ‘quirky’ girl and he is a big autistic man. Falin is happy, doing well in her own sphere, making a single friend (because she is still autistic, and has struggles of her own, even if they’re a different kind), but Laios still feels a need to protect her because his experience of this world has been nothing but cold shoulders and distrust all the way down. This story makes me want to sprint into the river. Laios and Falin are the best characters of all time.

Ouhhhhh I dont have time to reread dungeon meshi to give you good sources but based on my doodoo memory and vibes therein: I have to disagree that Falin was necessarily doing "well," and I especially disagree that the tragedy here is that Laios was doing something unnecessary by trying to make a place in the world for him and Falin.

Falin gets along seemingly ok in the world but it's because she's agreeable to a fault .

What's so interesting to me about the Touden siblings is the different ways they've learned to deal with being The Odd Man Out. Laios set out to try and forcefully carve out a PLACE for him and Falin in the world, where they could both openly and unabashedly be themselves.....Falin stayed behind, and learned how to hide the things that made her stick out too much, and how to appease people on the verge of rejecting her and Laios.

That can be functional, but it isn't good. It isn't happiness. It hurts in a million tiny ways every single day, to hide yourself out of fear of rejection like that.

At school, Falin must have spent a lot of time alone before she befriended Marcille, since Falin was familiar enough with the surrounding wilderness that she knew where that small Dungeon opening was. She sought out what happiness she could by following her unusual passions in more private ways, where no one would judge her for it. Falin didn't expect anyone NOT to judge her for her "weirdness" before she met Marcille, so Falin didn't even try to connect with anyone before Marcille at a level more personal than "classmate." That's not doing well. That's not living.

This kind of self-isolation is a coping mechanism for neurodivergence that functions for a while, but it eats away at you. Falin considered marrying Toshiro despite not loving him, essentially because it seemed like the normal thing to do and she didn't think she'd get another chance to be married at all. What if she had gone through with that, or something similar by the same reasoning? Laios lived in a state of being rejected over and over, which obviously hurts like hell. In contrast, Falin was willing to live a life she never wanted just to avoid total rejection. That can be incredibly painful too, in its own way.

Falin and Laios were BOTH tragically fighting doomed battles to find a place for themselves in the world during the time they were separated. Working together, supporting each other, they're able to do a lot more. Cries.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i keep having sex with my friends dad? nsfw warning

i (20s cismale) got invited by my friend (20s nonbinary) to try out some new edibles they made last thursday. this isnt too weird because both of us are unemployed (they get disability, i get money from unemployment, and we both live with our parents) and usually during the day their dad (50s cismale) is at work so we get the house to ourselves. well last thursday was different because i came over late in the night when their dad was home, and he offered to make me some dinner too. i get the munchies really bad so i was immediately like yes please and thank you while i fucked off to my friends room. we played some smash bros while we waited for the cookies to kick in, and when it started to hit his dad called us both out for dinner. dinner was great, and his dad is super chill — so he let us raid his alcohol cabinet. i dont think he knew either of us were stoned for the record (im naturally really quiet/dont make eye contact, my friend sounds high 24/7 naturally) so i dont think he was like trying to get anyone drunk or anything. my tolerance is pretty good but my friends is shit so it didnt take long until they were like blackout drunk and passing out on the couch, while their dad and i were both drunk too (not blackout but pretty drunk, and i was still high) and sitting on the opposite side of the couch next to eachother

important fact about me - i crossdress like femboys or whatever theyre called. i like looking really feminine and cute and confusing people. im not trans or anything like that gender is just a game and i am winning it. but i do tend to dress up in very egirl/goth gf clothes if you know what i mean, and i look pretty convincing ive been told (friend tells me i would pass for ciswoman with the makeup on). i think their dad maybe forgot that i was me (he usually sees me in boy clothes) and he started hitting on me? i didnt think i was gay or bi either until he started doing it and i got really flustered but i didnt stop him? again i was fucked up so the attention felt really nice despite it being my friends dad. but anyways he kept getting closer until he kissed me, and it felt nice so i let it keep going? which was probably super fucked up in retrospect. but anyways stuff gets hot and steamy, their dad doesnt bother lifting up my skirt, one thing leads to another and we have sex. he definitely noticed im not a girl during that (its pretty hard to miss lol) but he didnt stop so we kept going for a while

after we were done he and i passed out on the couch in a kind of awkward position, we both woke up in the morning and i think thats when he realized im me, but he didnt seem to freak out even though hes straight?? or at least i thought he was straight. but we had sex again in the morning and then when my friend woke up we all had breakfast and i went back to my friends room and we hung out more and got high again. while we were though i accidentally spilled the beans to my friend, and they FREAKED out on me and said that i was so gross for doing that, and they cant believe that it happened, stuff like that. they kicked me out of their room and their dad had to drive me home because i was shaking bad from it. but while their dad drove me home i was super pissed and mad and not thinking straight (haha) and so i tried to convince their dad to take a detour so we could fuck again. and he was like, okay sure, so we did?? but now i feel horrible for doing it knowing that it grossed my friend out so much, but i really like their dad and he seems to like me too, and i want to keep banging him :(

What are these acronyms?

[these-posts-arent-real]

Clanblr dashboard simulator is back babye (part 1)

#yes i just finished part 1 #yes im already doing another one #this is really fun to me #hey btw when the follow button is "missing" it isnt missing. #that's your mutuals

0 notes

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

I miss leaf-bareeeeee... my long-haired ass CANNOT with this weather

#shorthairs please dont reblog with "actually i think the warm weather is nice" #then this post isn't for you #robbbinposts

3 notes

🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

I'm trnasgender

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Happy 6 moon anniversary to the time I butchered what was supposed to be my cool, unexpected coming-out with a spelling error

🔥 b-b-b-blaaazr Follow

At least the typo wasnt in your url dude

Also. The coming out wasnt unexpected. At all. We all knew.

#fuck you blaze #"we all knew" yeah maybe because i posted about how i wished i was a tom 10 times a day #whacking uou on the head with my manly paws

204 notes

🔁 🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow reblogged

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

Happy bday to @lionsight-x3, my beloved mutual! Cant imagine life without you

🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow

AGHJHHHH THANK YOUUU ILY SO MUCH LILY <3

#Was honestly having a TERRIBLE birthday until I saw this. #Love you so much Lilystem.

3 notes

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

Am I the only one who didnt know that @ex-thunderclan-kipper is a kittypet??

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

His whole blog, including his url, is based around the fact that he's ex-clan... how are you just now finding this out...

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

I just followed for the wood-scratching art..

#didnt realize he was a kittypet #:/

17 notes

🦢 gentlesong-momof17 Follow

Kits are having their apprentice ceremony tomorrow... can't believe they're all grown up. At least my next litter is due in a moon!!

#momlife #queen #leaving the nursery #mom life #nursery queen #perm queen #perm queen life #permanent queen #permanent queen life

1 note

🔁 🪺 robbbinpaw Follow reblogged

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Im actually gonna die

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Sorry guys forgot to specify. My assessment is tomorrow. So like. My mentor is gonna decide if I get to become a warrior or not. Im freaking out

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

Wait. Youre an apprentice still??

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Ya? My bio says 11 moons- how old did you think I was?

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

WHAT????

I thought you were 21 moons old! Last time I read your bio was 2 days ago and I swear I thought it said 21!??

#moose ive been thinking you were 21 this whole time #cant believe youre only a moon older than me #this is surreal #robbblogs

50 notes

🌠 nightshade-tast3s-yummy Follow

Im on transblr and I keep mixing @l1llyst3m up with @carnation-stem-02... they look nothing alike and post about completely different things I think it's just the (flower)stem names

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

This is extra funny to me considering Lily and I actually became mutuals due to a similar mix-up (someone tagged her where they meant to tag me) but I for the life of me cannot understand how nobody takes one look at our blogs and never makes that mistake again.

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

To the cats in the notes saying "but you're both trans, it's confusing" guys. We arent even the same flavor of gender...

#shes transfemme #im agender #why is this even a source of confusion #we dont even go by the same pronouns..

2,702 notes

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

Uh... hello?? I think Im on the wrong site... what in the name of StarClan is... Tumblr...

[getosbf]

I saw some people talking about yuumori character sexualities and just wanted to add my own headcanons <33

Sherlock: see now, we all know sherlock has been explicitly stating his... Repulsion (yes, not "oh im not attracted to them" straight up repulsion at the thought of being in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with them)

And im not saying sherlock is misogynistic. He has been seen very happily helping women with their cases. And might i add that on the Noahtic, while everyone was prancing around with a lady on his arm, sherlock was standing in the corner. Even though he was also with ladies he was CLEARLY in it only for their appreciation of him. Because you see, Sherlock is a clever man. He saw these bunch of women who had no one to dance with and was aware that they would be head over heels for his skills. And he was probably sent to the Noahtic by mycroft, so why not pass some time and get some praise?

But as soon as he met Liam he felt an instant obsession connection. Not necessarily romantic, but this is where that japanese feeling that i forgot the name of comes in. The feeling of meeting someone and instantly knowing that while you dont feel anything now, you could potentially be dynamic (is that the correct word, for sherliam i think it is)

And as i said and will say again, sherlock is a clever man. Of course he's not gonna sit around sexually frustrated, when he can easily use his charms and skills to find the right people. But as per literally canon, until he met Liam he didnt feel romantic (that comes later though, first was obsession) "attraction".

Conclusion? Gay demiromantic.

William: now while william never had a "repulsion" to women, I'd say he quite literally has a repulsion to any idea of a romantic relationship at all. He looked at london and got his "lemme fix that" hyperfixation game so heavy that he forgot he was alive most of the times. That man falls asleep on random occasions at literally anywhere at any time because he avoids sleep for his plans. Do you expect him to have any sort of romantic or sexual relationship? No, sir.

Then waltzes in Sherlock. Like i said, instant obsession. Though for William, that japanese feeling never came. While he was always hoping for a different reality where he and sherlock could be together, he never acknowledged his feelings enough to let himself feel something.

But talking about sexual attraction, while i do firmly believe Liam doesnt feel it for the better part of his life, he did start to feel some things a while after meeting sherlock. He fucking KNEW what he was doing with that "catch me if you can, mr holmes~" I think it surprised him too, all this strange emotions trickling in slowly after years of not feeling anything.

Conclusion? Demisexual AND demiromantic.

John: thought he was straight, but you all have seen his reaction to irene when they dressed up as the king of bohamia right? I'd say bisexual, but he's still learning to embrace that part of his identity. And even when he does embrace it, i dont think he's gonna do anything about it. Cuz like cmon, its 19th century London. Do you think he'll damn himself by loving a man when he is capable of what most people like him are not (to love someone of the opposite gender)? But I DO think he had a crush on louis for a while but i think that just for shits and giggles hehe

Louis: aroace. No questions asked. He loves in a very... Devotional way. Like liam and possibly albert, he has an unbreakable attachment to them. His love for their found family? He is soooo aro ace coded.

Albert: wineromantic. bisexual disaster.

Moran: pansexual just cuz. He loves his women but he has had something with albert and possibly james that is simply not heterosexual. And he was in the army cmon if there's a hole there's a goal

James: pansexual BECAUSE, hear me out, he had known this since he was a teenager. Which is why it took him until he got to Moriarty's to realise he actually wants to be a man. He had known men love him, so he was styling his hair and wearing tight corsets. He had known women loved him, so he was putting on disguises to kiss and snog. I think he was just so comfortable in his identity he never felt the need to be the opposite gender. But he was and, well, we're happy for our boy.

Fred: ace, maybe demi, and genderfluid. I might be projecting on the genderfluid part here but can you blame me? He/they pronouns.

Jack: he's above such measly attractions (idk maybe he was young he could have had something but idk anything while looking at him now)

Mycroft: gay gay homosexual gay. No straight man spends 30 minutes every morning putting pomade in his hair (hiding a part of your identity, already? Huh myckey?)

Miss hudson: straight because she didn't feel any (okay maybe somewhat) attraction to irene but when she met JAMES ouahahahaha

Herder: married to the grind 💪💪💪 making love to the game 💯💯💯 he only loves one thing and thats his craft 🔥🔥🔥

Just kidding he definitely has something gay going on

Billy: he has some WAY GAYER going on. Have never seen him interact with women (how gay) so i can't say much but he definitely gives bi/leaning on gay vibes

[blackvail22]

i talk here a bunch each day because i have no one else to talk to.

its sad, honestly.

i couldnt go to my counseling appointment, so i wont be able to see her again for another 2 weeks

thats nearly a month since ive seen her

im not doing very well so this isnt good at all lmao

idk how im going to make it another 2 weeks but all i can do is try ...

i think i start work again next week. im afraid of what has changed... probably not a lot. all i know is we have a new manager, and ive heard he's nice

i have a postop appt on tuesday for my tonsillectomy. finally i will have what my disease means explained to meeee. i keep thinking about it, and its been bothering me. i probably wont know if i have another surgery until after my next ct scan (they have to space them out so i dont get exposed to too much radiation and i had one less than a month ago) and idk when that is

im so bored. i have to be the problem

i really think i am

"my friends wont reach out" but when i reach out its super dry and they varely engage. maybe im seeing it in the wrong perspective. maybe my vision is skewed, and im seeing it in the wrong light.

maybe its because theyre busy

maybe at work

going to work

hanging out with other friends

going to hang out with other friends

i want to have a good friend group so bad but i feel like i cant have one

i feel like my only friend was em even though she used me. oh, i dont know if i ever told u the reason why we arent friends anymore

so, i dont have the best memory of the order everything happened, but ill do my best to sort it out

after spending a bunch of time together, we started to fade away. i would ask her if she wanted to spend the night, she would hesitate for a good 30 minutes, talk to her mom, and then say "sure". sometimes she wouldnt wait until we ate dinner (but a good amount of times she did) until shed say "oh i forgot something at home" or "my stomach hurts" and id walk to her house with her (except the times when she'd tell me not to).

when i walked with her, she would always say "ill be right back" and then shed be gone for 10 minutes and her mom would come out and be like "hey... she doesnt feel well so she's going to say home". and each time i would walk home crying. at this point, she was already blowing me off, not talking to me, and overall being rude, but i still went back to her every time.

this rare occasion was in early september of 2017. we only hung out, and then she said she had someone else shes hanging w at her house. she had become friends with people that hated my sister as well as a girl that honestly no one knows. em started to become them... like literally she became a copy of them. the whole group of girls would tell her that my sister is a fat, ugly whore. they fed her all of this, and they would talk and call my sister names and generally talk shit about her

a few days after i heard abt this, i saw things from em that she was having a hard time. i was outside doing yard work, and she was walking by. i said "hey, i hope you feel better" and she yelled "fuck you" at me while, again, giving me the finger.

i dont know what i did, but that was the last time in years that we would talk to each other. we would be "friends" on the bus the few days she went to school sophomore year...

now, though? i dont exist to her. i saw her at my work TWICE this past year, once being on my recent birthday, and she pretended she didnt know me. i look the same as i did before... this most recent time, she was with her boyfriend, one of the friends from '17 and her mom. as i greeted them, everyone looked over except her... her mom even did a double take.

she claims she doesnt know why our friendship went to shit when we were toxic to each other our whole friendship. it was never healthy.

she seems to be happy though, at least happier than me. shes pregnant again. im not sure of the gender, but i think its going to be a boy. she's always wanted to be a mom, so i hope shes a good one.

[technowoah]

if you're taking asks for the prompts, can you do 11 and 17 from the angst list with george but have a fluffy ending? she/her pronouns pls

I Can Make It Right

SHSJS I HAVE SO MUCH ANGST IN MY INBOX YALL!

Thanks for the request babe! The way it came out was gender neutral i dont think I user she/her, but it still works trust me!

George x reader imagine (established)

11) "It's not important apparently"

17) "You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off"

⚠︎ angst with happy ending, unresolved issue but they're gonna fix it dont worry 😌, angry George, swearing

*** = flashback

Masterlist

You had stood infront of your bathroom mirror finishing up your makeup for the night. Your hair was already done and you had a nice outfit on, not to fancy and not too comfortable. While listening to a playlist George had made for you, you had put down the brushes you were using. It didnt really matter if you cleaned up your makeup that was littered all over the sink right now, but right now you were feeling good.

Today was your and George's 3rd year anniversary and you couldn't be happier about it. Today you two were going to dinner and doing something else which was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was a night on the town.

George and you met 4 years ago actually. You two started out as acquaintances, the slowly grew into friends and then one day he asked you to join him to dinner. At first you were oblivious to his actions, thinking he was just being a good friend, but turns out the more dates you two went on the more you caught on. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend 3 years ago today.

His friends keep on pressuring George to propose already, they think it's been long enough. The only thing close to marriage is a promise ring. He put the ring on your finger as a promise that one day he would marry you, everytime you doubt that he will propose you turn your attention to the cute ring on your finger.

You had turned off the bedroom lights and sat on your bed finally relaxing after struggling to find a decent enough outfit for tonight. George said that he was going to pick you up around 6:00 and now it is 5:47 so you had some time to spare.

You had found yourself scrolling through tiktok because you had nothing else better to do at this moment. It was a guilty pleasure of yours even though you and george both joked around about hating tiktok.

Time began to tick away so you had checked the clock on your phone which said 5:57 pm. You had grabbed shoes that you set up against your bed, slipped them on and grabbed all of your belongings for the night. You stationed yourself in the living room waiting till George came to the door.

Nervousness always came up before a date, it was the anticipation actually. You were excited and nervous about the date as you always were, but today for you was special. It was three years worth of beautiful love. You remembered the time he first said I love you too, it was just like it was yesterday.

***

"Hey y/n." George looked towards you. You both were sitting on a plaid, plush blanket with a brown woven basket ontop in between you two. It was just like the movies and that why you cringed because of how cheesy it was when George led you to it.

It was sweet, it was extremely sweet and you loved these dates that George always brung you too. You always felt special when you are sitting next to him.

You responded to George. "Yeah Gogy?" You laughed at the use of his nickname.

"Im trying to be serious right now and you call me Gogy." George smiled and shook his head. "Anyways, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do-"

"No I love you. I mean. I'm in love with you." George reached to rest his hand ontop of yours and repeated himself. "I'm in live with you y/n."

You wasted no time answering. "Im in love with you too."

***

6:03

George didnt show up yet, but there was no sweat. He was only 3 minutes late, maybe he ran into traffick. Your stomach was rumbling, but you didnt want to eat yet since you two we're planning to go to dinner. Patience is key, and it wasnt like he wasn't late before.

6:10

You started to get worried, it's been 10 minutes and still no sign of your boyfriend. You had gotton up several times to check outside of your door only to be met with no one. Your mind was jumping to conclusions about if he forgot your anniversary, but you shut those thoughts out for the time being.

6:19

Okay this is getting out of hand. You brung out our phone and began to text George, you couldn't believe that you had waited this long before texting the man.

Where are you? Ive been waiting for 29 minutes?!

[Sent: 6:20pm]

George what are you doing?

[Sent: 6:20pm]

You awaited his text message with your phone faced up on the coffee table infront of you. You didn't want to believe that George woukd forget, or overslept, but that was becoming truth the more minutes passed by with no call or text.

6:30

Calling him was useless, because he didn't answer. He didn't hang up on you he just wasn't picking up the phone, like he turned it off. You started to get worried if something happened to him, if he was in a situation where he couldn't call or text you. You wondered if he was safe at home and not out in the middle of the street.

In a flash all your worries subsided when your phone lit up with a notification.

ThisIsNotGeorgeNotFound is live:

Im Playing golf with my friends

That son of a bitch. Pissed off was an understatement, you were fuming. How could he end up streaming at home when you had constantly reminded him about this day, he knew damn well about this day too. How could he?

You ended up grabbing a jacket and your purse and ended up driving to George's place. It seemed like he was mocking you in a way, he knew you had notifications on for Twitch. You loved to support him and his career, but this was making a fool out of yourself.

Your hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as you tried not to run every red light you cane across. You finally came across George's home, you found a place to park and quickly got out of your car and sped walked your way to George's residence. Finally making up to George's door you knocked harshly on the door probably making more noise than what you intended too. You continuously banged on his door until you got fed up.

Remembering that George had given you a key to his house you dig through your purse to get your set of keys out anr unlock his door. You stomped inside his house and closed the door behind you.

"GEORGE! GEORGE!" You yelled through the house. You were being reckless and annoying, but you didnt care at this point you were fuming and needed to tell George how you feel.

You had made your way to George's recording room where he was talking to his friends on discord. George looked towards you in shock clearly not hearing the sounds you were making throughout his house.

"Y/N?!" George yelled and muted his microphone.

"What the hell are you doing?" You exclaimed back.

"Im streaming thats what Im doing!" George sassed back at you, not paying attention to his screen and the chat.

"Dont get smart with me. End the stream."

"What?! No!"

"You heard me, we need to talk." You crossed your arms across your chest. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking and you tried to calm yourself down, but George's comments were getting to you.

George was about to unmute himself and get back to the game. "No we dont-"

"GEORGE END THE FUCKING STREAM! This is embarrassing! Talk to me cause you have some explaining to do." You snapped at him.

A silence tell upon you two and he glared at you before turning to his stream and closing it out.

"Okay guys! Go watch the other boys streams I need to go now! Bye!" George quickly ended and turned off everything.

He turned around to you still sitting in his chair. "What? What do you want?"

"Do you know what today is?" You asked.

"April 30th." George answered bluntly.

"Thats all you have to say?" You asked in shock. "It's our anniversary dickhead!"

"I fucking know that." George said.

"You do? So why did you start streaming and we had dinner plans?!"

"I told you we were streaming! You weren't listening to me!" George stood up from his chair when he said that.

"When the fuck did you tell me this?!"

"A couple days ago! You didn't listen!"

"But you knew that was our anniversary! And we made dinnerr plans-"

George yelled over you. "A month ago! We made those plans a month ago so excuse me for forgetting!"

"So all these other years you remembered our anniversary and went out of your fucking way to cancel other plans around that date, but today you didnt because why?!" Tears were threatening to fall down you cheeks, but you wouldnt let him see you like that.

"Because I planned this already with the boys! And AGAIN you werent listening to me when I said that-"

"There were several other times that you could've told me too! But you didn't!" You sniffed trying to keep the frustrated tears inside.

"I already planned this and I cant go back on my promise-"

"But you can with me?!" You yelled and George stopped talking. He's just studying your face at this point and you hated this silence.

"Its not important apparently." You said while walking out of the recording room.

"You're being a bitch." He mumbled.

"Excuse me?! That is so disrespectful!" You spun around yelled at him.

"You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off." George said in a annoying tone.

"Yeah you should feel like shit! I feel like shit too so-!" You threw your hands up in exasperation and stormed out the room. You had made it to the door before George called out to you again.

"Y/n! Y/n! Please!"

"No! Just..." You paused before opening the door and ushering your way out. "Call me when you get your shit together.

You were currently curled up on your couch eating leftovers that you had in the refrigerator. That had satisfied your hunger for the night because the dinner was canceled that night. Your anger and sadness had subsided and you were only left with an unusual feeling in your heart. Your relationship felt incomplete, this fight felt incomplete. You didnt break up with him, but you were waiting for closure.

The TV was the only light in the room. It illuminated what it wanted to, you didnt care if it was too dark. Usually you would be cuddled up with George at this ungoldy hour, but you weren't and that made you tear up.

Your sadness was still there, your anger towards George turned into pity. You were sad about the actions he took, but somewhere in your heart you could forgive him. You could forgive and move on if he would come to you.

Speaking of, you had a knock on your door. You didn't have the strength to get up, but you did. Shuffling your way to the door you sluggishly opened it to find George standing there with his hands in his hoodie. The person you wanted to see, but at the same time you wanted to slam that door in his face.

"Hey." George spoke and you gave him a small smile, nothing more.

You turned around to find your seat back on the couch where you were comfortable, but also giving him a silent invitation to come inside. You had sat down on the couch not paying attention to George, but you knew he closed the door, took off his shoes by yours, and put his keys on the table by the door like he always did. It was like a routine to him.

George ended up awkwardly standing beside the couch as you ignored him.

"You know, if you didnt open the door I would've used my keys like you did." George tried to spark up a conversation, but you only hummed in response. You were scared that if you spoke, you would cry.

George ended up making his way to the couch sitting beside you and pulling you into his embrace. Your head was on his chest and you began to sob. You missed this it's only been a few hours, but you had felt that in those few hours you had lost everything. You continued to sob into his hoodie as he rubbed your back and shushed you, whispering sweet nothings into the air only for you to hear.

"Im here, and Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry that I did this to you and I only hope that you can forgive me." George said, his voice cracking a little when he said that. You kept crying.

That's what you wanted to hear all along, that's what you needed. You could forgive him in due time, you always will because you love him, you will always love him. You both can always make it right.

[toutallyahoe]

Omg! So same anon here that requested the Newt HCs (which I absolutely loved 💕)! What if the reader (same metamorphmagus reader) was fascinated by Newt, wheather its his shy behavior or his love for beasts, and changed looks to people familiar to Newt so he can learn secretly learn more about him?? Maybe revealing himself to Newt at some point to? Oh and headcanons of course~

a/n: hey there anon! firstly, i would like to apologize for taking so long to write your request! i had been having some trouble lately in my end here (with me almost dropping out of school and the big sad™ kicking my ass for months) and i needed some time to hibernate (shut off from any contact with anyone) for awhile. hope i didnt bore you to death on waiting for part two of your request!

second off, im really happy you enjoyed the newt x metamorphmagus [name]! i had fun writing it and will always be open for our beloved newty boy here

anyways, on to the head canons!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[name] had seen newt for awhile now before that one faithful day they had talked to each other near the lake

of course [name] would, newt wasnt really that good at hiding whenever he stalks— i mean, watches over him

at first, [name] absolutely found it creepy

i mean, who wouldn't? a random hufflepuff (no matter how they are stereotypically nice and sweet) boy always somewhere in the shadows, watching over you? its a serious cause for some questionable attraction there

[name] would absolutely like to avoid stalkers as much as possible as he had a run in with thay type of scenario years back before he went to Hogwarts and one run in is enough, thank you very much

but that was before the lake thing

after he actually managed to accidentally met his so called "creepy stalker," [name] actually learned that newt is just a shy hufflepuff boy who wanted to be friends with him but was too shy. like, too fucking shy

we already knew the two boys talked to each other in newt's scenario so lets skip a bit to when they met a second time

[name] was running away from his slytherin friend that he managed to piss off by a prank and run in to newt who was about to call out to him and talk

having no time, [name] just dragged newt and made the poor hufflepuff boy run with him

[name] was rather confused on why newt didnt break away from his grasp in order to escape him from trouble, but [name] was rather happy that the hufflepuff was actually down to suffer with him

newt actually forgotten he had a choice, [name], because you were so fucking handsome grinning and laughing as you both ran away from an angry slytherin

oh Merlin, newt is super gae for you lmao

anyways

after successfully running away from the angry slytherin and losing them in the great hall, both [name] and newt went back towards the lake again on when they first met and converse

it was lowkey sweet and nice to talk to each other again after weeks of not talking

skip to a few more weeks and the two being gay friends with each other, [name] is having trouble with his feelings

just like newt with him, [name] was absolutely fascinated with the hufflepuff boy

[name] doesnt even know why

maybe it was because newt was always so flustered and shy towards him or maybe its because of the hufflepuff's fascination of beasts ("fantastic beasts!" as what newt would say with his eyes holding such adoration in them)

or maybe its because newt actually wanted to know him and not just because of him being a halfy and a metamorphmagus

either way, [name] found newt adorable

like, a lot

its was saddening when [name] realized he couldn't hang out with newt or get to know him much as most of the time, [name] always gets dragged away by his other friends and that newt did confessed a few times how he doesnt like attraction attention towards himself

so, [name] made plans to disguised himself by making use of his own ability to shape shift for being a metamorphmagus

[name] actually took a month and a half to fucking remember he could actually disguise himself to run away from the people who is always swarming him to escape and hang out with newt

please dont be mad at him, he's a smart boyo but he has his times where his braincells yeets themselves away asdahsjajdhkaj

anyways, [name] had already thought of a person to copy their look to get to know newt more in secret

when he saw the right time to get away from the crowd that always drags him away to hang out with newt, [name] change to be that person

it was a bit painful and odd to change into whole new person as [name] mostly just changes the length or color of his hair and not everything about him

but sacrifices must be made to learn more of his favorite hufflepuff. so [name] just sucked it up

[name] lowkey thankful he didnt have to change genders as he picked newt's seatmate in Potions that he saw had been having some conversation towards the hufflepuff from time to time ([name] was so happy they were male and is in his house too so he doesnt have to change into another set of robes)

with him looking like another person, [name] set forth to look for newt

it took a while until [name] saw the hufflepuff boy and surprise surprise, newt was in the lake where they first met

it was odd but [name] felt his heart leap in joy on seeing newt that he almost forgot he didnt look how he normally was and was im disguised

thankfully, newt had noticed him before he could make a fool of himself and reveal who he truly was

newt, was again, a shy boy and was hesitant to talk to the disguised male

it took [name] to even say his own name for newt to actually talk to him

"so... uhh, i saw youre close to [name]"

newt perked up on his friend's name being mentioned and [name] swore he saw newt's freckled cheeks flushing red

with the mention of his name, newt opened up and talked to [name] (who's still in disguised) and [name] was leaping in joy inside his mind when he saw newt talking to him

[name] fully knows newt is so shy and is afraid to converse with others, so, seeing newt talking to others (even if that others is just him in disguise) made [name] proud

anyways, being disguised as newt's seatmate that had talk to him from time to time, all [name] had to do was mentioned anything related to beasts or just him, he could get to talk to Newt

[name] had done this for two weeks, disguising as random students to talk to newt to gain information on what the hufflepuff boy actually thought about him and his own likes or dislikes

[name] would have gone more longer if it wasn't for him getting caught in the act

curse that [Hogwarts house] seatmate of newt that he shape shifted first!

if you want more context, [name] was caught because that seatmate of newt's had borrowed the hufflepuff's noted earlier in Potions and was returning newt's notes back. it just so happens that [name] shape shifted into them again

it was so embarrassing but [name] had to explain or else both newt and the student he shape shifted into would freaked the fuck out

changing back to who he was, [name] awkwardly laugh at the student he shape shifted into and said to them that he was practicing on looking like other people while avoiding eye contact from newt

thankfully, the student was cool with it and even laughed at him and said that he was so cool

it took awhile for them to leave both newt and [name] along but when they did, it was awkward

[name] awkwardly confessed on shape shifting into other people to talk to newt when the hufflepuff boy was quiet and avoided looking at him

[name] was a bit terrified on what newt would think about him when the silence continued on

he was fucking terrified

while newt on the other hand, a bit sad that he doesnt have any new friends since it was just [name] in disguises, was rather fascinated by [name] again

"y... you can s-shape shift your entire... being?"

bless newt and him being fascinated by anything and everything he does because [name] could not live if newt thought he was creepy

but anyways, hearing newt speak to him, [name] perked up and hastily looked at newt

[name] could feel his face heating up when he saw newt looking at his so much awe and adoration in his face

ugh, these two boys are so cute

[name] swear from that point, anything bad would happen to newt, he'll kill everyone in Hogwarts, including himself

[theyscreamjade]

A Headcanon for Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki & Shinso when they see their Fem Reader with and without makeup?

Woah

I changed this request up a bit, I hope it’s okay. What I did was change it from them wearing everyday makeup to an important event and your makeup is on point 🥵

——————————————

Izuku Midoriya

* You two have been dating only for five months. The relationship was steady but recently, it seems fate wants to constantly bring him to your house.

* His things started to slip from his pocket or backpack and it’ll lead him to your home late at night which henceforth.

* It wasn’t his fault that he forgot to grab something from your place...

* (Even though, it technically was.)

* As much as he hated to just randomly appear at your door, unsure of you having company or even awake at this hour. It was damn near midnight and he was knocking at the door because of a limited edition wallet that slipped from his pocket.

* He honestly felt guilty to come to your place at such a late hour.

* He was even more surprised when you opened the door, seeing a barefaced you at the door while you wore his shirt along with a pair of joggers. He couldn’t help but admire how adorable you were looking at the moment.

* He wouldn’t even know what to say because he’s always seen you with makeup on that it’s like seeing a lunar eclipse, he’s infatuated by it.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

* He’s seen you wear makeup before, on more than one occasion. He’s seen you look as great as you normally did.

* It was the day of All Might’s anniversary party of the date when he saved those people years ago and lost his quirk for good.

* It was such an important and grand event for the former Pro-Hero as a dedication for his sacrifices and hard work.

* Since it was such a formal event, Izuku wanted to take you as his partner.

* Here’s one thing I do see his ass doing, he’s going to fucking show up almost an hour or two early because he wanted to leave at this SPECIFIC time and would prefer to have to pick you up out of the way.

* He’s sitting on the couch, staring at his phone before he heard your heels softly click over to him, catching his attention.

* From your dress, hair, and lastly that bomb ass makeup. Your eyeliner on point, the dress is gorgeous.

* The mere fact that you decided to even wear some of All Might’s colors from his costume was something he enjoyed even more.

* He’s a blushing, shuddering mess and he can’t keep his eyes off you. Even while people asked him thousands of questions, he couldn’t stop staring at you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki Bakugo

* He randomly texted you, after you said you were hungry but didn’t feel like cooking.

* Next thing you knew, he was standing outside your door with his car keys in his hand, calling your phone.

* This man DIDNT even give you a chance to even answer. You knew you were going to get a long sermon from him about you not eating at the right times.

* Honestly, it was rather shocking that he was up so late...

* When you finally walked downstairs, you wore a loose hoodie so you attempted to cover your face by having it on.

* During the rather random car ride to your favorite fast-food restaurant, the street lights gave him a slight glimpse of you without your makeup. The bright lights of the restaurant gave him a view that he could honestly admire.

* He’ll never understand why you waste your time on something you never required to have on your face at all.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

* So, What day when he saw you look gorgeous, sexy, and amazing all at once because of your makeup?

* Your wedding day, of course!

* He’ll remember, seeing you walk down the aisle. The way your dress/pantsuit hugged your body.

* Your hands gripping your favorite flowers, while your guardian walked beside you to hand you off.

* When you handed your flowers to Mina and touched his hand, he felt all his worries go away.

* Your eyes connected with his and he could tell the amount of detail you had.

* It was such a natural look even though it wasn’t even noticeable.

* The whole day was something he’ll always remember, it’s a day he’s often thinking about.

* You looked flawless to him and he knew from that very day, you were his.

* And he was yours. Forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hitoshi Shinso

* He was ready to see your natural face by date three.

* He just wanted you to be comfortable with him, he hated seeing you so uptight about your makeup. He noticed how you’d always check it and make sure your eyeliner never smudged or anything.

* He never liked seeing you so worried about something that’ll never change his opinion of you.

* So, While you two were on a date one day, and it suddenly began to rain.

* When you two finally found dry land, your makeup was smudged and started to make you look like a melting painting.

* He had a flannel shirt that was around his waist, so he snatched it off and handed it to you.

* With the eyeliner melting into your eyes, you quickly take it and wipe your face, not even caring anymore.

* When he finally sees you barefaced, he can’t help but stare.

* The rain just increased your beauty. While you stood underneath a closed cafe’s roof, the way your eyes sparkled even though dark clouds scattered the sky.

* He smiled softly, looking at you while you tried to see if the rain would ever stop before you’d look towards him with a confused look as to what the hell was he looking at.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

* The one time your makeup looked completely flawless and gorgeous?

* For Halloween, you two were invited to Denki’s party at his home, so he dressed him as his mentor, Shota Aizawa.

* Unsure what to wear, you just decide to go as your boyfriend but in a gender blended version. You wore a long purple wig and customized yourself while thinking as if you were him as a girl.

* While you were finishing with your makeup, he was downstairs waiting, looking at his Apple Watch.

* When you walked in and declared you were ready, he had to take a double-take at you.

* If he imagined himself a girl, he wouldn’t have done half of the effort you did!

* From your eyeliner to even your costume change you did, he was astonished because of it.

* I guess that why you always wanted to practice on him, luckily his arm did the trick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoto Todoroki

* The poor man was just trying to be a good boyfriend.

* The reminder about your birthday being the next day, he simply planned to do a surprise party for you later that day.

* Denki...Denki would go on to suggest that he should surprise you early that morning which also earned a small agreement with Deku. (Even know they’ve never been in a relationship.)

* You and Shoto were dating for a few months, almost a year. After a few threats from fans, you gave him your home key so he could come in if she never responds to his calls or messages.

* Here’s a lovely reminder, this is all new to him. HOW WAS HE TO KNOW THAT SURPRISING YOU WAS A BAD IDEA?!

* This poor man was knocked in his nose by you, thinking he was an intruder, at least he knows you can kick ass.

* After stopping his nose bleed, you questioned his randomness while your face was oily and bare. Your forehead shined a bit on the light while you held a wet rag to his nose.

* You looked so cute in your pajamas and he couldn’t help but compliment your cozy appearance.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

* The one day he’ll forever remember was the day you two had to walk the hero’s red carpet.

* It wasn’t more of his style, but he technically didn’t have a choice because he was supposed to receive an award of some sort that night for his investigative hero work.

* This was even more important because this was going to be the debut of you and his relationship. You two kept it under wraps for a while but you two are engaged now.

* He couldn’t hide his ring anymore and he knew for sure you couldn’t, he wanted to tell the world about you two from the beginning.

* He didn’t want his hero status to interfere with your life though.

* You made him realize that it didn’t matter what he was, all that mattered that you were his and he was yours. Nothing was going to change that.

* You made him realize that even more when you stepped from the vanity in your room.

* You have him a soft smile with your beautiful dress that matched with your eyes, the way your eyes sparkled along with your eyes.

* Shoto blushed in front of you for the first time and almost couldn’t believe he was engaged to a phenomenal person like you.

——————————————

[sunsinrinn]

Secrets Part 8.

Bakugo x reader, Bakugo x Uraraka, Kirishima x Reader

Fluff- ish, language, angst

Word Count: 1,520

Idea: Y/n has a secret to share with bakugo not expecting a secret from him. She leaves heart broken and attempts to move on. But how will she move on if her secret can no longer be hidden? She fakes a relationship hoping its enough to not expose the true origin of the secret. (This is a terrible summary but I cant say much without spoiling future parts. 🙃)

Earlier,

Kirishima was walking to the cafe to meet up with Bakugo. God he hoped Bakugo was actually wanting to apologize. He hated that he hated him. He wished he could hate him, but being his best friend for years, and *maybe* wanting to be more than friends with him just make it impossible to hate him. Yes, he was furious for treating you like he did because he loved you too.

When he arrives at the cafe, he takes a deep breath before entering. When he’s inside he looks for him but cant find him. Not until he sees a hobo looking man with oddly familiar hairstyle. He approaches Bakugo and notices he was not in the best place, mentally and physically.

“Bakugo” kirishima’s voice is soft but still causes Bakugo to jump.

“Oh its you Kirishima.”

“Yeah, what did you want to talk about?”

“Right to the point I see...

I- I just want to apologize for the pain Uraraka and I caused Y/n-“

“Shouldn’t you be saying this to Y/n?”

“I- yes but I wanted to talk to you first... Look, the day of the baby shower after I left I saw Uraraka fucking another guy in my house.”

“Seems like you got what you deserve then. Is this why you’re apologizing?”

“Kirishima! Let me fucking talk shitty hair”

“Fine. Continue.”

“THANK YOU! Anyways, I yell at her to leave and before she does, she said something about manipulating me into cheating on y/n. I asked how she did it but she said it was a secret. I was confused because i don’t fucking remember being manipulated in any way. But anyway, She said she only slept with me to hurt Y/n. And then she was the anonymous tip that told the news and everyone y/n was cheating on me. To hurt her.”

“Wait- URARAKA WAS THE LEAK-“ Kirishima looks pissed of as hell.

“Yes, and I did not know anything about it. After she left I fell into a depression.” Bakugo looks embarrassed to admit that.

“Shit Bakugo, is that why you look like shit?”

“I don’t look like shit, thank you very much.”

“You do.” Kirishima feels bad for Bakugo, and without thinking he asks,

“Why don’t you come live with us for a while?”

Bakugo looks taken aback and hesitates.

“Are you sure Y/N would even want me there?”

“I don’t know... but I doubt she would refuse you, especially in your state.”

Bakugo looks conflicted about the offer but finally speaks up.

“I’ll go... but only if she agrees first.” Bakugo says in hopes to be able to talk to you and apologize and take him back. No, you won’t you have Kirishima...

Kirishima, the man who stuck with him through thick and thin, until he didn’t. He really did miss you and he also missed his best friend. He knew that if he never knew you, he would have dated Kirishima, but Kirishima doesn’t like guys. And now he has you and his kid.

Kirishima nods and nervously dials your number.

When you pick up both men perk up at your voice,

“Hello? Kirishima? What’s up?”

“Hey Y/N! How was the appointment? Is Mina there? MINA WHATS THE GENDER?”

“IM NOT TELLING YOUR ASS ANYTHING, KIRISHIMA! YOU KNOW THAT!”

You laugh and shake your head, “What’s up Kiri, why’d you call?”

He’s silent and sighs, and he hears your voice ask nervously,

“Kiri?”

“Y/n.. I need to ask something of you.”

He hears silence and thinks you’ve hung up but soon hear a response,

“What is it?” You ask shakily fearing the worst.

“I- I don’t know how to phrase this but I finished talking to Bakugo.”

“How’d that go.”

“Well he told me a few things. And he does not look like he is in a good place right now...”

“Oh no...” he hears sadness in your voice.

“And I suggested him live with us for a while....”

He hears your hushed voice talking to someone else, who he assumes is Mina.

After a minute of silence he hears you speak up again and Bakugo listens closely for your response.

“Kiri... I- I- yeah, its fine...” you sound unsure.

“Y/n if you dont want him there you can say so...”

“No no, its fine...”

Bakugo’s face falls at her answer sensing how sad and unsure you sound.

“T-thank you so much Y/n” Bakugo says.

There’s silence but again you speak up, “Y-yeah anytime.”

“I gotta go Kirishima. I’ll see you and Bakugo when you both get home then”

“Bye y/n, love you and see you soon. Tell Mina I said good bye as well”

You hum in response and hang up.

Kirishima and Bakugo get up and leave the cafe and head to Bakugo’s house to pick up a few things.

When Kirishima enters his house, he notices how overwhelmingly pink it is, “I didn’t know you liked pink...”

“I hate the fucking color. That bitch decorated the house like this.”

“Oh, okay. Well if you want me to help you pack a few bags?”

“Sure, make yourself useful”

Kirishima sighs but goes into the bedroom and helps him pack clothes.

After a moment of silence Bakugo speaks up

“Thank you.”

Kirishima looks up confused and bakugo elaborates more

“Thank you for hearing me out and taking me in”

“Oh- yeah anytime”

“Did- did taking me in bother y/n?”

Kirishima thinks for a while before answering,

“I don’t think she was bothered but more taken aback by the news.”

Bakugo hums, “You asked about the gender of the baby?”

“Oh yeah- Mina and her were going today to find out the gender but Mina won’t tell us. She’s hosting a gender reveal party. But only because she wants to one up Izuku and Shoto, since they’re the god parents.”

Bakugo nods sad that you’re building a life with out him. He really misses you and misses Kirishima.

After finishing packing they head home. Bakugo pays close attention to where they turn so he remembers where you live and sees the apartments right ahead.

As they reach the apartment and walk inside, it looks two times bigger than it should.

“Oh yeah, forgot to mention, we knocked down the wall separating mine and her apartment so now its one huge apartment.”

Bakugo just nods and stares at you as you come out of the kitchen. He notices your wobbling a bit and thinks again about how you’re way to big to only be 4-5 months pregnant, but that would mean you were pregnant with his child.

“Hey guys. Do you guys want anything specific for dinner?” You ask maintaining eye contact with Kirishima.

“Um, I don’t know yet, Bakugo?”

“Huh- oh whatever you guys want...”

You purse your lips but speak again, “Here then, I’ll help take your things to your room”

As you reach for his bags he pulls them away, you glare and Kirishima hands you a bag, “Best not argue or resist against her Bakugo. She’s in the mood swing stage” Kirishima jokes and you send him a fake glare.

“Wow- Kirishima so fucking mean.”

You grab the bag and head to Bakugo’s room. Both follow you and notice you had already fixed up the room for him to his liking. You set the bag down on the bed and head out.

“I’m going to lay down for a bit Kiri, and then I’ll start dinner.”

“Take your time babe”

Both men begin to unpack and put away Bakugo’s things and once they finish they smell food and head out to see you setting the plate down.

“Good, you both are here. Dinners ready.”

They are about to sit but you stop them. “Did any of you wash your fucking hands?”

The look on their face as they get up and clean up is hilarious

As soon as they are done, the three of you sit and eat in silence.

After dinner you pick up the dishes but Bakugo insists on cleaning them as a thank you, you finally relent and sit on the couch with Kirishima. Once Bakugo finishes he lets you both know he is retiring to bed.

As soon as he walks out, you look over at Kirishima when he clears his throat.

As soon as Bakugo heard kirishima clear his throat he stands still and listened to what they were saying.

“So, Y/N does it bother you that he is here?”

You stay silent for a while before answering with a simple no.

“Y/n, are you sure? I can always tell when something is wrong...”

“It doesn’t bother me Kiri, I’m just afraid he will find out the fucking truth. I mean its not long before i POP out the kid. He will know that I lied about how far along I am... I don’t want him to know he is the fucking father-“ you says kinda loudly.

“I get it y/n, but he looked so vulnerable and alone, I couldn’t leave him like that...”

“I know baby, I wouldn’t either...”

Bakugo freezes when he hears your words

‘IT’S MY FUCKING KID SHE IS CARRYING’

SERIES MASTERLIST — Part 9

A/N- three chapters in one day? Granted, one was supposed to be posted yesterday, but anyways- i HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER. I hope you guys tell me what you think- its spicy- anyways

If you’d like to be tagged in future parts or future works dont hesitate to dm, ask, or comment! I hope you guys had a lovely day today! Also if you asked to be tagged and I didnt tag you send me a dm so I can fix it :)

@hero-ink-pillar , @silentw-lkr , @ushiwakatrash , @purple-rabanito , @chaelysian , @puppycat714 , @fake-id-69 , @adaydreaminganon , @jessie9008 , @sam-i-am-1025 , @purple--nebula , @curiouslilbeast , @httpswwwtbhkcom , @setup-the-ace

[dearlyanqels]

"It's always goodbye"

it's kinda angsty, but a good ending promise you. amd yes I did but deku and ochaco together, bite me okay it's just fiction

It always rains when things go down, and this was one if those days. Eijirou and you have been together for 3 years, a solid three years at that and today a string was cut. fuck, many strings were. "it just happen to be today" you said dryly laughing you're heart was already hanging "yeah.." he said drinking the last thing he'll ever pour in this house. "so, this, this was just one if the games, three years. three years eijirou, I have given you everything, my body, mind and my heart and-" you stop just like that stop mid sentence. "you know it's not even worth giving you that speech, I've said it so many times what's the point." you started to walk away until he spoke up once more. "her and I were only dated for two years"

you look at him, scoffing "and that makes it a whole lot better. wow. you must be friends with katsuki, I can see him rubbing off on you" you said opening the front door he put his head down and stop "but she could never do the things you've done" you didn't even look at him, but you know he was in tears "you're just saying that because you got caught, no guy ever says sentimental things until they get caught or they lose feelings." you said finally pushing him out "lose everything you had of me. I don't wanna be up knowing that I'm probably in your dreams living a fantasy" you said shutting the door, you didnt slam it. you didn't have enough energy.

"it's always goodbye to those you- you love the most" you said finally breaking down, finally letting your self be down.

two years later

it was Christmas time again, this year you'll be at the famous UA school, the place you haven't seen in forever. you sigh and stop your nervous chills "is that? oh my god" you turn around and seen ochaco and izuku "y/n oh my- I haven't seen you since our wedding" she said hugging you "damn it has been five years, how are you?" you ask, she look at her husband and back at you, she open her coat a baby bump was relieved. you gasp as she grab your hands to feel "izuku congrats to no- sorry" he softly hit you knowing you like making dirty jokes "anyways, how long are you staying here?because I was going to have gender reveal party next week, and I was hoping if you'll come?" she ask, you smiled and link arms "I'm staying in Japan" you said she smiled as you three walk to the doors.

"tysu?" you question, a beautiful girl with two kids turn around her long tounge hang on the side you smiled and hug her "I miss you, oh my hi" you waved at the small kids and notice something about them, they have duplicates arms "oh my- you and-" she laugh and showed her hand "mrs. shoji" you squealed and hug her.

later on you met up with everyone, and they either were married, have kids or pregnant. you were absolutely happy to be apart of their lives now. "welcome to the class reunion of the famous class 1-A" netzu said, everyone cheered and listen to the speeches.

as it ended it there were pictures of everyone, you smiled and reminiscent those days.

cutest couple

it was a picture of you and kirishima, the final semester, you two were training that day. "you end up dropping that weight on my foot" you choke on the champagne "oh I'm sorry, I forgot how spook you get. midorya told me where you were. and wow, you look absolutely handsome, beautiful at that" you smiled at his compliments. it's been over two years and you didn't want to hold any grudges. "so, how was south america?" he ask you laugh a little "I went to the states, and they were amazing, a lot of violence, trust me they were phew, but the parties, the different cultures there. it was beautiful" you saw him smiled "it was boring wasn't it?" he ask you "yup" as you said pooping the 'p'. "let's got the roof" you stated grabbing his arm making him chuckled. as you two got to the roof, you see the little lights of the town "it may be the smidge of alcohol, but I always wanted you to be here" he laugh at your words, not one making sense. "you mean you always wanted me here?" he corrected you, making you nodded you took off your heels and made your way to him. "I'm sorry if I never said goo-" he kiss you, not caring what you were about to say, but he knew you wanted actions, not words.

you felt chills, and butterflies hit you at ever corner, it wasn't suppose to feel this tender, this so good. he pulled away, you search for hope in his eyes, you found it. that's all you needed for another kiss. "I miss you, I'm sorry I'm so sorry" he said whispering on to your lips. you shook your head "I long forgave you, long ago, I'm sorry for not be-" he stop your words. "you're perfect, beautiful. don't say sorry for my foulish ways. let's go back down I'm pretty sure the littles want to see their new family member and know you"

[backtobackbakubabe]

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 12)

Bakugo X Reader

Make it Blue! Make it Pink! 

Words: 2418

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

You looked in the mirror with frustrated tears in your eyes. Today was the first day of school after summer vacation and it was your first official day as a teacher. Most teachers wore their hero outfits to work but given the fact you were 4 months pregnant there was no way you were going to fit in your skin tight costume. Yet here you stood anyways trying to get it to stretch like the idiot you were. 

You hadn’t even noticed Katsuki walk up behind you until he was wrapping his arms around you. He kissed your bare shoulder, “Hey I thought we talked about this. No tears over something this silly. You are gorgeous. Fuck that stupid costume. I like the dress you picked out last night. It shows off that adorable bump you’re rocking.” 

You chuckled as you dried your tears on the back of your hand, “I know, I know. I just didn't think I’d be rocking such a big bump so soon. I wasn’t ready.” 

He turned you around to face him rather than the mean mirror that seemed to mock you. “Hey you’re literally growing a human right now. Kids likely going to be the next number one hero. Of course he’s going to need a little extra room.” He knelt down and gave your belly a quick kiss. “I think you're beautiful.” 

You ran your fingers through his hair, “You seem so sure it’s going to be a boy, but I still think it’s going to be a girl. I don’t know why but I just have this gut feeling.”

He stood up now to continue getting ready for his own work day, “Gut feeling huh? You sure its not just gas? You’ve had a lot of tha-” You threw your show at him, “OI! Relax its just a joke!” 

You had already pulled on your new dress. “It better be a joke! I may be pregnant but I’ll still kick your ass!” You sat down on the edge of the bed and gave him puppy dog eyes, “Now can you please help me with my shoes?” You were already so short that even the smallest baby bump made you look round and awkward. You wiggled your foot in his direction. 

“Tck, you mean the shoe you just threw at me?”

You nodded with those big puppy dog eyes you had learned from Kitty, “I mean I’d say it was more of a toss than a throw. Pleaaaase my back is already killing me and I don’t want to lean over.” 

He sighed before kneeling down to help pull your shoes on, “You are so lucky I love you. Last time you threw something at me it ended up a little differently.” 

You blushed as you remembered all those months ago and the snowball that started it all. “Hey but if I hadn't thrown that snowball who knows if we’d be here now.”

He simply shrugged as he stood up, “Maybe not exactly here, you know in a new house with a dog and expecting a kid, but I think we’d be together.” He smiled at you, “We’re both too stubborn to have waited much longer.” 

You smiled back at him and ran a lazy hand over your stomach, “I just hope she doesn't inherit that. Last thing we need is a hard headed female Bakugo.” 

He squinted, “Oi, it could still be a boy!” 

“Well I guess we’ll find out today won't we?”

He kissed you're forehead, “Yes we will. I’ll pick you up after school and we’ll go together alright?” 

You hummed in response already feeling the anxiety of the day start to bubble up. First day as a teacher, finding out the gender of your baby, it was going to be an eventful day. 

You hooked Zuko up to his leash and locked the door behind you. It was the only special request that Katsuki had made. You’re close enough to UA to walk but you had to take Zuko with you. The doctor said that walking was great exercise and you intended to stick to it as long as you could. 

The walk probably took you no longer than twenty minutes and before you knew it you were at your desk staring into the faces of a bunch of scared first years. Zuko was minding his business laying in a dog bed next to your desk. You could see a few students cut their eyes to him every so often almost like they were waiting for him to do something. 

“Good morning class! I am Miss. Y/L/N. Some of you may know me as Adsum. I am going to be your teacher for this semester. This here is my dog Zuko. He goes everywhere I go. He’s not mean but I also wouldn't try to sneak up on him. He’s a friendly dog but he's also been trained by Ground Zero himself. Do you have any questions for me before we get started with orientation?” 

Everyones hands shot straight up, “Let me rephrase that.. Any questions that are school related and have nothing to do with my personal life.” And just like that all the hands went down. “Great well let’s get started then shall we.” 

You couldn’t help but feel right at home as you were teaching. It was almost like this was what you were meant to do. You still loved and missed hero work dearly but you felt like a natural when it came to teaching. Plenty of the teachers here still did hero work on the side, maybe you could too after the baby was born. 

You’d like to think you made a good impression on the students. Most of them seemed to like you. There was one boy though who sat in the back and liked to challenge everything you said. His name was Yuuto and he had an attitude but it wasn’t anything you couldn't crack. He was very mild in comparison to how Katsuki was at his age. 

Your first day went by in a blur and now you were waiting outside the front of the school with Zuko making small talk with Aizawa when Bakugo pulled up in an SUV you didn’t recognize. As soon as he stepped out of the car kids started swarming to him, “Oi! Fuck out of the way would you?” 

You rolled your eyes and bid farewell to Aizawa as you went to save your boyfriend, “Everyone back up unless you want detention!” Your students immediately took a step back making room for you, all but one. The one troublesome boy from the back of the class, Yuuto. He didn't budge. He stood there with his hands in his pockets staring down Katsuki. That was not a good idea by any means because Katsuki automatically assumed this kid was sizing him up and being the over protective alpha male he was he wasn’t having any of that. 

“Oi! You! Runt with his hands in his pockets come here!” Yuuto strolled over to Katsuki maintaining eye contact the whole time, “You got a problem with me kid?” 

Yuuto was silent for a few moments before he sharply bowed, “Not at all sir, I just wanted to personally let you know that I will be keeping a close eye out for your wife while she is my teacher to make sure that no harm comes to her sir.” 

You thought Katsuki would be irritated that this kid just called you his wife but instead he just smirked, “I’m pretty sure she could kick your ass but I like the enthusiasm. You got a name?”

“Yes sir. Yuuto sir.”

“Yuuto huh? Well Yuuto you can be my official point of contact how about that?” 

His eyes lit up with pride, “Of course sir. Thank you sir.” 

Aizawa strolled over to you, “That went better than expected. Bakugo has grown so much in the past year alone. He’s turning into a more patient and level headed version of his already passionate self.” 

You smiled, “He really is something special. Yuuto proved to be a bit difficult in class today but I’m glad to see he has good intentions” 

Aizawa chuckled, “Just so you know Yuuto is UA’s first student with Autism. He’s very bright and very determined. His quirk is tactical processing. He can analyze any situation and figure out a way to win. It’s very impressive, he’s almost like a human computer. His memory is amazing as well. He can recall exact words or scenarios from things that happened years ago. I think given enough guidance he could be one of the big three someday. You're lucky to have him in your class.” 

It made sense now. Yuuto didn't have an attitude at all. He just lacked the same social cohesion that his fellow classmates had. You smiled at him as you walked over to your boyfriend who was now holding the car door open for you. “Thank you Yuuto, you know I’m not his wife yet but I too like your enthusiasm.” 

Katsuki rolled his eyes, “Just get in the car women we’re going to be late!”

You giggled and hopped into the passenger seat. Taking a look around, it looked to be brand new. Katsuki was now in the driver seat and speeding off. “Is this a rental or....?” 

He took your hand in his without taking his eyes off the road, “Huh? Oh! The Car! I almost forgot... Surprise! Y/n meet your new mommy mobile. I didn't think you’d want a mini van and I’m not ready to trade in my two seater yet so here we are, now a two car family.” 

“OH MY GOD! BABY! YOU DIDNT!” 

He gave you a weird look, “Y/n don’t look so surprised we’ve literally been talking about this for weeks. It’s not like we couldn't afford it, and with the baby coming we needed a new car.” 

“Yeah but it’s like NEW new! I was expecting like a newish car you know?” 

“Eh” He waved it off, “I totally didn't get you anything for your birthday so consider this a late present..” 

You brought his hand up and gave it a quick kiss, “Thank you. And thank you for being nice to Yuuto earlier. He means well.”

He put his hand on you thigh, “Yeah, I could tell he was just trying to be helpful. In a weird way he kind of reminded me of Deku and it felt like a good opportunity to try and make up for the years I was a dick to him.” 

*****

You were laying on the table getting freezing cold gel smeared onto your belly. Bakugo was sitting next to you hand squeezing yours as his knee bounced up and down. “I just know it’s going to be a boy.” 

“Oh yeah? Well I just know it’s going to be a girl” 

The ultra sound technician just laughed at us. “Well at this time I am able to determine the gender and I’m assuming you would both like to know?” 

In unison you both yelled yes. 

She smiled at you, “Alright well congratulations! You’re going to have a baby boy!” 

Katsuki jumped up and started running around the room! “YES! I KNEW IT!” You smiled at your silly boyfriend. Sure you may have guessed wrong but you didn't care. You were going to have a sweet little mini Katsuki and you couldn’t be happier. 

his celebration was cut short when the ultrasound machine made a weird noise started and the screen started to go black. You froze and clamped your hand down on Bakugo’s, “What was that?” 

The technician gave the machine a perplexed look. I dont know. That’s odd. The machine malfunctioned. Its a new machine it shouldn't be having any problems.” She shrugged, “I guess I’ll just have to turn it in to IT and see if they can fix it.” 

But that wasnt the last time that happened to you. Every time you went in for a check up after that the ultrasound machine would malfunction. It was really freaking you out and Katsuki was about to have a fit. “WHAT KIND OF FUCKING HOSPITAL DOSENT HAVE MACHINES THAT ACTUALLY FUCKING WORK!”

The nurse had to remind him that you were in the maternity ward and that yelling could be stressful for the other mothers. But of course that didn't stop his rampage. 

Finally a doctor pulled you into his office to try and put your worries to rest. “So I checked into the ultrasound footage for your past three check ups. And it seems the ultrasound machine is always fine but it always cuts out exactly six and a half minutes in. Your technician brings them to our IT department and they can never find anything wrong with the machines.” 

Bakugo gave him an incredulous look, “Well something isn't right, and unless you figure it out we’ll be finding another hospital. This is fucking ridiculous.”

“Rest assured I believe I know what the problem may be. The fact the machines work for everyone else except you and it always cuts out after six and a half minutes... well thats a pattern and it leads me to believe that your child, while still being in the womb, may be showing signs of some kind of quirk. It is very rare but it does happen from time to time. Kids are starting to develop quirks younger and younger every year. If this is the case it’s likely their quirk will be very strong by the time they reach maturity. You’ll likely have your hands full.” 

Your heart was racing. Your little baby was developing a quirk early? What if he blew you up.. fuck what if he teleported out of you and.... “No!” 

Both the doctor and Bakugo’s snapped to you with worry. “I don’t want him to develop early! What if he hurts himself?” 

You were shaking now and Bakugo was pulling you into his chest. His eyes narrowed at the doctor, “Is that possible? Could something happen to him?”

The doctor took a deep sigh, “Well I dont like making promises but from what I can tell whatever the child’s quirk may be it doesn't seem destructive. Its somehow messing with the machines so I would say its more psychologically based. Something he can control with his mind, even if he doesn't realize he's doing it right now.” 

Bakugo blinked a few times, “.... well that’s just badass...” 

************************************

So my sister and my nephew just moved in with us and my nephew has autism. Hes 8 and he was bullied so bad in school he tried to commit suicide. He’s doing better now and has developed a love for super heros. He and I love to watch anything super hero related together. He’s a tad too young for MHA right now but he honestly does remind me of Midoriya sometimes. He asked me the other day why there was no super heros like him and it made me kind of sad. The character Yuuto is lightly based off of him. Everyone deserves the right to be a hero.

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (3)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, youtuber phil lester, dan howell is not a youtuber, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.1k (this chapter), 9.5k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Interviews used to be Phil's least favourite part of this job. The research was always captivating, the filming was always fun, the editing was always challenging, but talking? To people? About things? Absolutely not.

He still doesn't love doing it, but he's long past the point of begging Martyn or Ian to pretend to be him on the phone.

The curtains in Phil's room are open for once, letting natural light in so he doesn't look as dark on the Skype screen. His eyes keep drifting to himself, distracting him as he tries to fix his hair or laments not getting out of his pyjamas. This is his fourth interview of the day, and he's starting to hate the process with a renewed fervour.

"Okay, thank you," he says, clicking out of the screen record window. "Can I message you here if I have any further questions, or would you prefer this to be your final statement?"

"Oh, um," the girl says, her eyes round with some kind of emotion that Phil can't be bothered to parse. "No, no, that's... that's all I saw. I don't have anything else. But you can still... message me, if you like."

Ah. Phil makes a face that he hopes reads as apologetic and not panicked. "No, I - sorry. Gay. Just interested in your ghost."

"Oh!" she says again, looking more puzzled than Phil thinks she has any right to after a forty minute conversation where he mostly just asked her clarifying questions that she kept dodging. She tucks some of her long hair behind her ear and shakes her head. "Sorry, that's just - you haven't said that online."

Phil isn't very good at knowing when people are lying to him, but now he's definitely suspicious of the half-assed testimony he'd gotten from this girl. He sighs. "Okay, you know who I am, then?"

"I mean, I looked you up when you messaged me about a video and all," she says. "Wanted to know if you were a creep or, like, legit."

Okay, that's fair enough. Phil supposes that if he were a girl in uni and a stranger asked to video chat, he'd also do a little digging first. He still doesn't quite believe her story, though - most of it matches what she'd written on Facebook, word for word, and she didn't go into detail on anything she claimed happened.

"Right, of course," says Phil, feeling awkward and exposed.

Her eyes are wide and blue and she can see into his room, into his life, and she's giving him this look like she thinks she knows something about him. He hates this feeling.

"That a secret, then?" she asks.

"No," Phil says. "It's just not relevant to my job. I don't have a lot of ghouls asking me out."

She doesn't laugh. Phil is getting more and more uncomfortable by the second, and he's wondering if it's worth it to hang up on a potential lead - no matter how dubious her claims - when she says, "Well, alright. I won't tell anyone anyway."

"Thanks," Phil says automatically. He doesn't particularly care if she does or not, but he does want this call to end as soon as possible. "And thanks for your time. Message me if you think of anything else you forgot to mention about the Wilkins place or if you know of someone who's seen something."

Before she can even respond, Phil hits end on the call and groans, resting his forehead on his thumbs for a moment.

Unsurprisingly, this is giving him a migraine. It doesn't take much to make the twinge of a headache turn to insistent throbbing, because Phil's body hates him and overreacts to everything.

Phil takes a couple of deep breaths before he comes out of hiding. He attaches the final screen recording to the email he's already got open and ready to send to Martyn. After a moment's thought, he CCs PJ and Sophie in and adds, Nobody sounds credible except the second person to me, so... it's not looking good lol, before hitting send.

He takes off his glasses and rubs at his eyes for a moment. Interviews are still draining for him, especially when they don't go as planned, and Phil's starting to get the impression that there's nothing to even find at the Wilkins place.

But. Phil pauses, considers his options. He hasn't interviewed everyone, has he.

Before he can talk himself out of it, Phil shoves his glasses unceremoniously back onto his face and opens Tumblr. Winnie hasn't said anything to him so far today, so Phil feels only a little like he's bothering them when he shoots off a quick, Hey! I just finished interviewing the sources you gave me and most of them aren't very promising. Would you consider letting me ask you some questions to round out the video?

me?????, Winnie replies almost immediately. i didnt even see anything?? like im happy to answer questions but idk how much use ill b in an INTERVIEW

I know! And you don't have to lmao so don't feel pressured or anything but you know so much more about the place than they do. Everyone claimed that they didn't know other people were having paranormal experiences.

oh bullshit, Winnie says. Phil is surprised into a huff of laughter.

There's a part of Phil, fuelled by anxiety and uncertainty, that worries Winnie is just pulling an elaborate joke on him. That part of him feels a little more at ease every time he actually talks to Winnie. They just seem... genuine. And maybe Martyn would disagree, would blame Phil's desperation to see the best in people, but there's a reason Phil doesn't tell Martyn everything.

Before Phil can agree with Winnie's colourful derision, his laptop beeps again. i look like an ogre rn but i can voice chat if you rly think itll help

It would!!, Phil assures them. The tender spot behind his eyes twinges again, serving as a reminder. Can I call in like an hour? I've got a headache from the screen lol

sure i really have nothing else going on today

--

So it's later in the day, late afternoon light still streaking through Phil's window, when Phil sits back down at his computer and adds the Skype username Winnie gave him. His head still hurts a bit, but it isn't all-consuming now that he's had another coffee and some painkillers. The padded headphones feel good to put over his ears, blocking out most of the typical noises from such a full house and a busy street, and Phil just sits in the blissful quiet for a moment before he sends a voice call request.

It gets picked up almost immediately, and Phil presses a smile into his palm before he says, "Hi! Can you hear me alright?"

There's a beat. Phil waits, in case Skype is lagging as usual, but he's opening his mouth to repeat himself by the time he gets a response.

"Yeah," says Winnie. "I can hear you."

Phil isn't really proud of himself for being surprised by Winnie's voice. It's just. He knows his viewer demographics, okay, and he has a rough grasp on Tumblr demographics, and the name - alright. It isn't his proudest moment, is his point, because he's expecting a much higher pitch for absolutely no good reason.

In addition to that, his brain automatically tries to classify Winnie's voice as very obviously masculine, and Phil has to push back against that.

"I can hear you, too," Phil says cheerfully, not allowing his anxieties to spill over into the conversation.

"That's good, probably," Winnie says. There's another beat of silence, and then a huff that might be laughter or a sigh comes through Phil's headphones. "Sorry, I - I'm not trying to be fucking weird, this is just surreal."

"Is it?" Phil hums. "But I haven't even asked you about ghosts yet."

A snort - definitely laughter, this time - follows, and Phil is so glad that he's able to put Winnie at ease even if his brain is betraying him. "That's true. I guess it's gotta get weirder from here."

"That's kind of, like, the subtitle of my whole channel," says Phil. After a moment, he frowns. "Subtitle? No. What's the thing, on the poster -"

"Tagline," says Winnie. They sound so amused and warm and, okay, they've got a nice voice. That's not gendered. Phil can think that. "You're thinking of a tagline, you buffoon."

"Tagline," Phil echoes gratefully.

"Don't you," Winnie starts, then stops abruptly. They don't finish the sentence, but Phil can kind of guess what they were going to say. There's the sound of some rustling, like Winnie is getting comfortable, before they change tacks. "Again, I didn't see any of this alleged ghostly activity with my own eyes, but I know the hot goss."

Phil opens the recording program out of habit, nodding even though Winnie can't see him. "That's still really useful at this point," he says encouragingly. He clicks a couple of buttons. "And, yes, I do have an English degree. Thank you for not asking."

Winnie laughs, the sound of it filling Phil's headphones and making it feel like they're in the room with him. It's warm, like everything else about their voice, and absolutely contagious.

"I didn't want you to think I was, like, a big stalker," Winnie says, and Phil can hear the grin in their voice.

"Eh, I know you watch my videos," says Phil. "So I figure you know some stuff about me. You probably know that I'm going to ask this, too, but - is it okay if I record our conversation? I don't need to include it in the video if you don't want me to, but it's still useful for me if I don't so I can, like, actually remember the things you told me."

"Yeah, sure," Winnie agrees easily. They hesitate, for a moment, and Phil waits for whatever the caveat will be. "Uh, can I still swear?"

The question surprises Phil into laughing. "Yeah, you're fine. I can bleep them out."

"Then I am all for it. Ask me the ghost questions, ghost man."

Phil presses record and glances down at his notebook, where he's scrawled some disjointed questions alongside his usual doodling. "Uh, okay. Yes. I am totally a professional."

"If you say so, mate," says Winnie.

"Hush. Okay." Phil finally gets his brain back on track and taps his pen against a question near the end of his list. "So, Winnie, you did all this research into the Wilkins place on your own downtime, but you mentioned that you've been hearing murmurs about it for a while, right?"

"Not that long, actually, I've only been hearing about it since term started," Winnie says, and Phil is struck by how comfortable they suddenly are now that there's a guideline. Or, maybe, now that there's a non-Phil audience. "Which I thought was pretty weird, since I'd been there a couple times since I moved here, and it's a spooky fucking place but nothing to write home about."

That's more or less exactly how Phil feels about the situation, except that he doesn't remember the Wilkins place to be scary at all. Maybe it's gotten worse in the years since, or maybe he's just got a higher threshold for empty, decrepit homes than Winnie does. Either way, he's not sure if he should be relieved or suspicious that their thoughts on it mirror his own so well. He starts a spiral in the corner of his page as he considers the answer.

"So, you never got the impression that it was haunted before?"

"I - can I be perfectly honest?" Winnie asks, and then doesn't wait for a response. "I don't get the impression that it's haunted now. I dunno if people are just making shit up or if they're doing too many drugs, but we all know that ghosts don't actually exist."

Phil snorts. He does have a fairly large number of skeptics who watch his videos to argue in the comments about logical explanations for his findings or to just enjoy watching him fail so much, but he hadn't really expected that from someone who sent him a sourced essay on the topic of ghosts.

He's recording right now, so he's not about to give away the fact that, yeah, he kind of does agree with Winnie on this one. Instead, he keeps his tone neutral and says, "You don't believe in ghosts."

"I don't believe in most things that can't be explained by science," Winnie says, so matter-of-fact that Phil has to smile.

"I don't really believe in science," Phil says, mild.

A beat. "Excuse me?"

"I said I don't believe in science," Phil repeats, doubling down on the joke so he can hear that incredulous pitch of Winnie's nice voice again. "I mean, isn't it all just as made-up as anything else? People just tell us stuff exists and we have to believe them?"

"We believe them," Winnie says slowly, "because it's a fact."

"How do I know that?" Phil asks. He knows how off track he's already gotten, and he decides to cut this part out before he sends the file to Martyn or his friends.

"Because you can. See it. With your eyes." The genuine bewilderment in Winnie's voice is very funny. "Like. What the fuck, Phil. If someone drops an apple and it hits the ground and they're like, 'oh that's gravity', how are you supposed to say, 'uh, no it ain't'?"

Phil leans back in his chair a bit, his spiral turning into an apple. "Because, what if that's just what the apple wanted to do? It's not like we know any of this for sure, Winnie."

"You're fucking with me," Winnie says, but they don't sound very certain.

"I am," Phil admits happily. "Do you remember the first incident that kicked off the Wilkins place rumours?"

"You," Winnie says, and then cackles. They lean away from their mic as they do, but the sound of it still makes Phil feel some secondhand giddiness. He wonders if their laugh has a volume limit, or if it's just going to keep getting louder the funnier Phil is. He is so tempted to put that to the test. "Fuck. You little fucker."

Phil hides his own giggle in the palm of his hand and clears his throat, trying to get back into the professional mindset he'd forced himself to be in for the four earlier interviews.

"Do you need me to repeat the question?" Phil asks. He can't resist teasing, just a bit.

"No, fuck off," Winnie chuckles. They take a deep breath and let it out on a hum, low and thoughtful. "So, there was this shindig during fresher's, which I obviously didn't go to because I'm not a fresher and I'm too old to go to shindigs, but people were talking about how the house was making weird noises. A girl I know - I linked you to her Reddit post - said she saw someone just standing outside the window watching them, but, like, is that really a supernatural occurrence in Rusholme?"

"It's not. And she hit on me as well, so I'm not sure her judgement is trustworthy."

"Sounds like her. Sorry. Anyway, nobody really thought 'ghosts' as much as they thought 'rats in the walls and a pervert on the street', but then - this one didn't get spoken about online. I don't even know how valid it is."

"Word of mouth is how most ghost stories get passed," says Phil. "I'm not going to hold you to citations on rumours."

Winnie huffs a laugh. It's soft, quiet, and Phil almost wishes he could say something ridiculous to make them cackle again. Unfortunately, he has a job to do.

"Fair enough. Well, some idiots spent the night there to see if anything weird would happen," Winnie says, and Phil feels a bit attacked, "and three separate dudes had sleep paralysis."

Phil hums and jots some messy notes down. "In the same night?"

"At the same time," Winnie corrects him. "The other idiots were trying to wake them up for a long time, apparently. They're convinced that the guys who fell asleep were just pulling a prank on them, and maybe they were, but that's when the ball really got rolling."

Out of everything Phil has heard today, this is the most compelling story so far. Maybe that's a good indicator of the Manchester students being full of it - maybe there truly is nothing to find in the Wilkins place - but it piques Phil's interest anyway.

"For someone who only believes in cold, hard science, you're good at telling ghost stories," Phil says.

"Thanks," Winnie says, sounding pleased with themselves. "Learned from the best."

Phil is suddenly very, very glad that this isn't a video call, because he can't stop himself from smiling like an idiot. "Oh, is that what they're calling me?"

Another cackle. Phil doesn't remember the last time he made someone laugh so much without tripping over his own clown feet.

"I never said I was talking about you."

"Uh huh."

"Oh, shut up," says Winnie, and Phil can still hear the laughter in their voice. "Don't you have a bunch of questions to ask or something?"

Phil does. He has a whole list of questions that he should be following. He chews on his pen and looks at the doodle-covered list of things he's meant to ask Winnie. His head still hurts - maybe the extra caffeine didn't help after all - and all he really wants to do is take a nap.

"Yeah," Phil says, reluctant. "I've just got, like, a migraine. Can I call you back another time? This was a really great start."

"Oh, yeah, sure," says Winnie. They've dropped their voice down to something soft, like they're worried that they'll make Phil's headache worse.

"I'm actually going up to check the place out this weekend." Phil isn't sure what makes him say that. He meets up with sources in person, sometimes, but usually only if they've seen something with their own eyes. He just feels comfortable talking to Winnie, far more than he'd felt talking to the other students he'd interviewed today.

Phil doesn't actually extend the invitation, and Winnie either doesn't pick up the hint or doesn't care to.

"That'll be good," they say, still soft. "Get some rest, Phil, you can call me back when your brain stops trying to drill a hole through your temple."

After Phil says goodbye and hangs up, he sits at his desk for a long moment. It feels too quiet, all of a sudden, his padded headphones blocking out all the ambient noise around him. It's good for his head, but Phil is still weirdly disappointed.

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Misery Loves Company Part 2:

Meet Esmé Squalor:

The city's sixth most important financial advisor, powerhouse fashionista, and fixated on revenge coke addict. Esmé takes no time showing the orphans that she is just as scary and dangerous as Olaf and sometimes they think she is the worst of the two. Esmé has one thing on her mind and that is her precious sugar bowl which she vows she will steal back or she will burn the entirety of VFD down trying.

Esmé has no problem with any of the vicious acts that Olaf suggests. She is down for just about anything he has in mind. Murder? Yes. Very in. Kidnapping? Yes. Completely In. Arson? Yes. The innest thing since aqueous martinis. And making sure a young child is never able to sleep peacefully again? In her words that 'deliciously in'. The children have a new villain to watch out for and believe it or not...shes more unstable than Olaf.

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[Trigger warning: subtle and not so subtle hints at Esme and Olafs hideous and devious intentions with teenaged orphans. Please read with caution]

Olaf was driving like an absolute psychopath as he raced from the burning hospital to the rundown carnival in the hinterland. He was angry. He felt defeated. Not only did those three blasted orphans escape his clutches AGAIN, now apparently someone had survived one of the fires...which one? He did not know. But that bastard, Jacques Snicket, seemed so sure of it when Olaf was watching that video. *stupid fucking VFD and their stupid fucking members escaping their well deserved deaths!* he thought as he growled as loud as he could. And to make matters worse while he was driving this way all he could think about was the woman who broke his heart so many years ago and so many times since then because he was driving just like her.

"YOU IDIOTS LET MY PRETTY LITTLE PET RUN AWAY!" He yelled hitting his fists as hard as he could on the steering wheel.

"Well technically boss..." the bald man spoke up. "She didn't *run away* the bookworm rolled her away on a gurney,"

Olaf growled again. "Oh. How I *cannot* wait to obliterate *that* brat! Oh, he thinks I've been brutal before, he hasnt the faintest fucking idea! And if you dont shut your mouth YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH AS WELL!" Olaf yelled.

Now everyone in the car shifted a little, even Esmé who was unamused at the whole situation but kind of fearing for her life as he drove like a unpredictable madman. But...when I say that everyone in the car shifted a little...I mean *everyone* and even the three secret passengers in the trunk shifted a little especially Klaus Baudelaire who started to shake.

"Klaus...Klaus...you're fine," Violet whispered desperately reaching around for his hand. Once she found it she squeezed his hand tightly trying to keep him in reality with her and Sunny.

"We shouldnt have gotten in this trunk," Klaus whispered back. "He is going to kill Sunny and I...and..." he stopped talking when he looked towards Violet, who frowned. Both older orphans knew what Olaf would do to Violet if given the chance. Hell, both older orphans knew what Esme wanted to do with Klaus if given the chance. They both feared that even Sunny, by now,  Had a faint idea of what Olaf was talking about. "Why did....you *make me*... get in his trunk," klaus cried as he began to sob. Sunny turned her head towards her brother.

"Shhhh," Sunny pleaded. "Quiet," she reminded Klaus.

"We're going to die..." he whispered fearfully.

Violet frowned as she held klaus' hand tighter and grabbed Sunnys hand with her free hand. "I got you guys," she whispered. "I'll always protect you,"

"We know," sunny whispered back.

"Can you believe there is a SURVIVOR!?" Olaf shouted and then he screamed in pure anger. "Just when Ithought I was winning! I framed them for my MURDER for fucks sake! I HAD that pretty little brat!" He screamed angrily.

Violet shuddered and Sunny put a comforting hand in hers.

Esme scoffed and rolled her eyes when he mentioned Violet being 'pretty' again. He turned to her. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

"HOW THE FUCK IS THIS *MY* FAULT!?" She asked angrily. "It was YOUR idea to use the girl as bait!"

"But you let the Baudelaires take the Snicket bitch right out the operating theater!"

"YOU SET THE HOSPITAL ON FIRE! I GOT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!" she yelled. "He was standing right next to YOU. Why didnt ypu do anything!"

"HE WAS HOLDING THE LARGE KNIFE YOU GAVE TO HIM!" Olaf yelled back. "The plan was to use the girl as BAIT! NOT have him actually kill her! She is our key to BOTH fortunes!"

Esme gave a wicked smirk. "Oh...that was the plan? I must've forgot,"

"You pathetic jealous bitch!" He yelled.

"Oh *Im* pathetic? You've lost to these children for MONTHS now!"

"YOUVE LOST TO THEM TOO!"

"If I was in charge of this entire thing, those two girls would be dead and the boy would be our little prisoner," Esme replied wickedly smiling.

This made Klaus shiver and Sunny put her free hand in his the same way she had for Violet.

"You wouldnt have the SNICKET fortune if you killed the Snicket bitch you dumb bitch!"

Esme smiled wickedly at Olaf again. "I dont need Lemony's fortune...hell, unlike *you* I dont need Beatrice's fortune either," she laughed. "No what *I* want is to make *Beatrice's little mommy's boy suffer* " Esme tapped her long nails against her window. "Of course I also want back what's *mine*!"

Olaf rolled his eyes. "*So do I*!" He screamed. "But NOW one or two of them might not be inheritors of ANYTHING! SINCE THERES A FUCKING SURVIVOR!"

"Darling...youre honestly looking at *that* all wrong. I think this is good news," Esme replied

 Olaf responded by pushing his foot harder on the pedal.

"How is that a GOOD THING!?" hr asked.

"Well...think about it. Whoever it is. We will get to kill," esme pointed out. "I personally hope its Beatrice. I'd love to kill that sugar bowl snatching bitch...ooooh and we could make her children watch!"

"Or we can torture her children in front of her," Olaf pointed out smiling.

"Who do you think the survivor is boss?" The hook handed man asked.

"I dont know. If its Bertrand...well that's the least exciting option. But Esme's right...if its Beatrice, torturing her or her precious son and daughter would be fun."

"What about Snicket?" The henchperson of indeterminate gender asked.

Olaf pushed hard on the brakes causing everyone to ram forward a bit. His car came to a screeching halt. Violet, who had the misfortune of getting into the trunk first was squished harshly against the end of the trunk as Klaus tried to shift himself away from violet to give her room. Violet had let go of Klaus' hand in attempt to shield Sunny from hitting anything. Olaf turned around to face his henchperson. "I doubt that its Snicket...but...if it is...let's just say when I find his pretty pipsqueak daughter...I will make him watch as I *destroy* her entirely and then I will make her watch as I murder her father agonizingly slow and then I'll murder that stupid fucking bookworm and biting brat in front of her too," he hissed causing Violet to start shaking.

He took a deep breath and began driving again. Esme huffed in annoyance as the hook handed man did his best to hide a disgusted face.

Klaus looked to Vi. "Speaking of that...did he...?"

Violet wiped a few tears from her eyes. "I dont know...while I was conscious, no. Esme kept barging in before he could do more than touch my face or leg. But... when I was unconscious...I dont know. Wouldnt I know? Like...wouldnt I feel different?" She whispered as she began to sob quietly.

Klaus sighed. He didnt know the answer to that. He just gave Violet a small smile. "Yes, I think you would feel different. So if you feel the same then he didnt," he lied as he shifted his arm under her head to give her head some support. He had no way of knowing...and he feared that Violet would never get a true answer.

Violet nestled closer to Klaus and Sunny as she shivered form the cold mountain air that seeked in through the bullet holes of Olafs trunk. Klaus and Sunny could hear her whimpers and shivers. Klaus tried his best to take off his suit jacket from where he laid but he couldnt. Sunny shifted to lay more on Violet to act as a blanket for her. "Violet..." klaus whispered.

"Yeah," she replied back in a hushed tone as she wiped a few tears from her eyes.

"I just wanna say this... if I ever find out that he *did* hurt you or if he ever *does* hurt you like *that*...or if he continues to try to hurt you like *that* **I'll castrate him myself...**" klaus whispered. Violet looked towards her brother and even in the cold, dark trunk of their worst nightmare's car, she could see the dark look in his eyes.

"Klaus...you dont..."

"Oh you're right," he replied. "I'll hold him down and let you do it if youd rather.."

Violet gave a small chuckle to that.

"Darling! I've been thinking about what you said back in crow town,"

"What did I say back in crow town?" Olaf asked confused as he continued to drive like a psycho.

"Well... you said that the boy was much more fun to torture than either one of the girls...and *you're right!*" Esme recalled. "So why dont we just keep him,"

Olaf growled. "Wr are keeping the Snicket bitch! That little tease has another thing coming..."

"We are keeping the boy..." esme demanded in a tone that made Klaus shudder.

"Why dont we just keep who we catch first?" The hook handed man replied. "Besides when we left the hospital the brats were stuck in a utility closet...I doubt they all made it out,"

Olaf snickered at this. "It would be nice if one or two of them burned to a crisp...just like their parents," he began smiling and laughing.

"Well, except the survivor," the henchperson of indeterminate gender replied.

This sent Olaf into another screaming and raging fit.

Esme rubbed her temples. "I just want my sugar bowl...that's it...that's all. I'm down with murder, kidnapping, and making it to where little children cant have another peaceful night of sleep but I AM NOT DOWN WITH THE YELLING AND THE INSANE DRIVING!!!!"

"Fuck off...we are almost to Caligari Carnival. Then we can ask Madame Lulu where to find that little Snicket tease and the two other ugly brats," Olaf replied.

Esme rolled her eyes. *I will kill that fucking brat. Hes not touching any girl related to that bitch Katherine* she thought as she continued to rub her temples. 

Esme was not someone who was used to someone telling her that she cant have her way. She was too rich, beautiful, and powerful for *that* bullshit but as she sat in the passenger seat of Olaf's car she was beginning to think that shed have to take matters into her own hands if she was going to get what she wanted. Olaf seemed determined to have the Snicket brat as a captive...and Esme would rather have the infant than the Snicket girl.

"Do we have any wine? I'm parched and I heard wine is very in this time of year,"

"We have some in the trunk. I would be happy to get it if we stopped," the hook handed man replied.

The three children froze. Violet put her arm around Sunny tightly as Klaus put his arm around Violet to hold her and Sunny, who laid on top of Violet hoping to keep her warm, put a loving hand on Violet and her other on Klaus. Their hearts stopped as Olaf stopped the car.

[fire-fanboy-trash]

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..-. .- -- .. .-.. -.-- chapter 5

I've haven't been the best mentally so I didn't write as much but enjoy! I will have a longer chapter soon!!

@meisamyth @sadcat5555 @thebluehearted @smol-bean-ashley @pma-girl @sharky-g @dead-golden @10th-no-name-person

Tw: abusive| drugs |crying sam

Sam looked in the chamber and was startled! She fell back almost falling on the floor but google caught her. In front of them was a man sitting in a leather chair. He looked up. She gripped google's arm. "It's ok he's harmless,this is eric". He strolled over starring at the tile floor. "hh h ii" "But you told what Fatality meant, I don't wanna" "Dark only named this area Fatality chamber so other egos avoid it. This is where the Vounrable egos are kept to prevent them from serious harm or injuries. The dangerous egos avoid it because once an ego goes down here they never leave. It's a safety precaution." Sam blinked. "Oh but I don't wanna be here" "Darks orders prove you can protect yourself and you can be with the other ipliers"

[ ] anytime these are around words it mean talking through mind telepathically just in case someone forgot

[Get up here ] [affirmative]*slam*"no don't go" She felt a hand on hear shoulder and screamed. "i i t's ooK" The man was toned and missing feet, with black hair and a floral shirt. She was terrified the way Google described fatality freaked her out. Bang bang bang bang bang bang. She pounded her fists into the titanium door desperate to get out. "HELP"!! Tears streamed down her cheeks. "hhow ol d are u" She began kicking the door. "Hoow olD aRee u" She jerked her head back shaking at the sight of Eric. "7". "th aT maAkes s ense" He took a step towards Sam. "I don't know you"

[ Sky͡le̶r w͘è ̴t̡al҉ked͞ ab̨o͠ut͡ this ] [I still go by dat name?] [ YE͜Ş ] [ok] [ now̨ ̛sto͠p be͡i͝ng ̧a ba͞by ҉àn͝d͘ s̀h͜o͝w ̴NO F̡EAR̴ ]

She trembled and turned around to afraid to disobey Anti. "Hi sir I Skyler" "I m e ric" "Why you talk like dat?" He gripped his handkerchief. "A nn x iety " Sam starred at him blankly.

[w͛͟ḩ̈o͒ ͫcͪ́a̓r̴e̸s͒ ̴a̕b̡̈́oút̏ ̶h̢͑i̡̔m̧ ̢̚f̄́o̾c͗u̧ͦs ̸͒on̊̕ ̈́c҉ǫn̴vͨi̓͝n̶͑cȉn̉͟g ̿̀dark̽ ҉yͩou'̉rͪ́e̷̔ ̨a̵b́ļ̒eͮ ̸t̕oͨ ̚͡p̅rͯ͏o͢t̍eͭ͞c̃t̎ ͝yỡur̎͡s̓͝ëlf! ̉S̀TÓ̡Pͤ B̧ͣEIŃG̓͘ ͑͢SU͡C͟H̍́ ͬA̵ ͦS̨͛C̀A̎R͞DY̨̐ C̀AT͘!̂!̷ͬ ̈́] [but I wanna have fun ] his eyes filled with rage, he truly forgot about the fact that she is only 7. Although Sam is Anti's biological child he is not capable of raising her.

(I hc anti is gay btw so sam was born before he figured this out, now he knows)

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Meanwhile with chase

Chase always wanted Sam every since they were born. Anti didn't especially since she is the result of a one night stand. After that he realized he was gay and despised their existence. He agreed to let chase raise Sam but them he saw it made him happy for once. He suddenly changed his mind. Not caring as chase cried. Chase had PTSD from watching his family be murdered in front of him and constantly blamed himself for it. After it had been a year since murders of Stacy and Luna and Steven the police said it was a cold case. Chase remembers watching Sam cry because the glitch screamed and hit him. He didn't like how Sam was gender fluid and literally became those genders. While chase loved them, little Sam.

Chase was feeling nauseous. He drank more and got high more. He was anxious!! "Where is Sam did anti murder them"he cried miserably. "Anti never loved them, he keeps them around for some reason." "Ooh gOshh *hiccup* the room is spinning" Thud.

Jackie walks through the door profusely sweating. Slam. "Ugh work was stressful as hell, chase are you even listening"?! Silence. He walked in the living room. Chase was passed out on the floor. Although something was different than a drunk pass out. "Holy fuck"! He rushed over swooped him up and bolted outside to the car. Chase was foaming at the mouth. He speeded to the hospital not caring if he got a ticket. Practically screaming about how his brother was passed out and had white foam coming out of his mouth. Doctors and nurses frantically rushing around."go in the waiting room sir" Jackie reluctantly goes in the waiting room. Extremely Desperate to know what happened!!Finally the doctors come out. "He is fine now he had an overdose"!! They went home! "Why didnt you tell me you took drugs!!"!! He glared at him!! "I knew you'd be upset"!! "Chase you could've died!!" "I'm sor-" "CHASE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DIE!! SCHNEEP AND MARVIN ARE DEAD, I CAN'T LOSE YOU TOO!! I CRIED IN THE WAITING ROOM!!" He stormed off filled with rage. Chase slumped"i never thought I would overdose". He face palmed and cried tell he physically couldn't. Then chugged alcohol tell he passed out! "Sam where are you? " Jackie cried himself to sleep. Jackie got depression when schneep died.

"They still don't know I caused all this. The fools trust me".He watched chase and Jackie from his many cameras. "Chase it's only gonna get worse from here"

[coridallasmultipass]

Tmi / talk about menstruation and iud / venting / but i just wanna get this out, and maybe someone else is in the same boat as me because ive never been able to find any accounts of similar experiences ... I wanna preface this by saying im 26 and have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia/chronic pain, which is probably related but i dont know how. I normally have super heavy periods and debilitating cramps, along with discomfort during penetration (or similar activities) on some occasions. Ive tried a couple different birth control options over the years and each one has given me constant cramping. Its weird because the cramping on the pill (2 or 3 different kinds of BC pills in different times of my life) and depoprovera shot were the same in that i would get terrible cramps whenever i did any kind of activity but especially when i stand up from a sitting position. I remember being in college and standing up and having to immediately sit back down hunched over until it passed. I got the depo shot a few months ago and it was the worst thing ever. I had severe cramping with all kinds of movement (and havent been able to even touch myself without setting off the cramps) and after a month of it i started bleeding for a month straight until a doctor gave me estrogen pills on top of it to stop the bleeding. The pills stopped the bleeding but not the cramps, so the plan was for me to wait it out and try an iud next since the medicine would be administered locally instead of by pill or shot through my whole body.... three months during the depo shot i could not exercise or do any physical activity, which of course is making my fibromyalgia and mood worse. I feel like ive lost a whole year to the depo shot, on top of other health problems that have been acting up before the depo. It sucked and im not trying it again. I had about 2 weeks until the mirena iud insertion where i was taking the estrogen pills and still cramping (along with getting a full heavy and bad cramping period during the vitamin-pill week while i waited for the prescription to come in. The cramping was so bad i almost wanted to go to the emergency room, but it lessened by the next day even if i was still going through so many pads.) Before the iud insertion i took a pill the night before which the doctor said could help loosen up my organ to allow for easier insertion since ive never had a kid. I knew i could expect a lot of pain given how sensitive i know i am, but the few people ive heard get them said it was only really painful during and they were fine after, so i figure i could be strong and deal with it if its going to help stop my monthly cramping and bleeding. Turns out the insertion was the worst pain ive ever felt in my life. Normally having a speculum put in already puts me in considerable pain (a speculum feels like a shard of glass shoved in me) but it pales in comparison to getting the iud. I was crying out and struggling to stay still during the proceedure but once it was over i hoped it would start to feel better. It burned with pain and still does days later. I didnt realise i would get severe cramping immediately after the insertion, but i could barely stand up. The doctors had to let me stay in the room for like a half hour before i could limp back to the car. Im lucky i had my mom to drive me home because i could still barely breathe it hurt so badly. I took tylenol about a half hour before the proceedure but i dont think it did anything. I couldnt take advil because of other medicines im taking. So the only other thing i could do is lay there screaming in pain with the heating pad pressed on me. A few hours later my mom had to call an on-call doctor from the same hospital and he said to go to the er so we went. The rest of the night is kind of blurry i was in so much pain and could barely think. The er gave me a painkiller and later a muscle relaxant before telling me i have to stop my other meds so i can take advil. I was there for like 6 hours i think, feeling waves of terrible cramps that feel like a knife is slicing the inside of me - the same feeling as the iud insertion. I feel bad for everyone who had to hear me screaming every 10 minutes and my mom who had to stay with me. The doctors kicked me out immediately after giving me advil and i went home barely able to even walk or move. It took me another 2 hours to manage to fall asleep even though i was so exhausted and had the worst chest and body pain from being so tense at experiencing the worst pain of my life. Nornally, if unmedicated, ill get periods so bad im screaming in pain, but it will only last 1-2 hours until the advil or tylenol kicks in and dulls it down to a bearable ache, so this iud was supposed to be my fall back on options to eliminate cramps. (I really wish the doctor would just let me get a hysterectomy i dont ever want kids and this whole situation is giving me severe gender dysphoria) Yesterday i spent the whole day sleeping off my traumatic er experience and today im still getting really horrible waves of cramping and nausea. Thankfully im not bleeding (...yet?) But it still feels like having a tampon being yanked out of me that wont come out. The knife feeling isnt there so im not screaming, but the cramps are still so bad and i dont know if i need to take it out. The er doctor said to take it out if the advil doesnt help, and that this is most likely anxiety making the pain get out of control. The er nurse said this is normal. Like??? How the fuck to people deal with this im scared about taking it out because thats probably going to hurt even more. I forgot to ask my prescribing doctor if theres a risk for toxic shock or something but like i dont have a fever its just so painful feeling it there. The placement is "right" according to the ultrasounds but it hurts so much and is still giving me cramps I really dont know how anyone could deal with this the whole thing is so upsetting i want it out but i dont want to deal with the proceedure to get it out and that same severe cramping i dont think theyll allow it to be a surgical removal but i wont be able to sit there and deal with it again!!!! Just thinking about all of it is giving me more anxiety too, i have such dysphoria about my internal organs and such a terrible phobia about even having them!!! This amount of cramping should not fucking be "normal" i hate being invalidated at the er like that God i just dont know what to do the cramping is so bad and im still scared of getting an ulcer from the advil. Thats another thing. A year ago i got an ulcer from taking advil because of period cramps, so ive been suffering taking tylenol! Thats why i want a BC that works to get rid of cramps and bleeding!! Now here i am with the worst cramps and bloating of my life!! How am i expected to function like this!!! I dont remember half of the past few days because ive been in so much pain!!! I can only hope this gets better because it feels worse today than it did yesterday, even if its not as bad as the day before when i had the insertion done. The doctor said if im still having the same kind of cramps ive been getting with the other types of birth control after a month i can look into other options (hopefully hysterectomy!!) But thats so far away and i havent been able to practise driving or apply to any jobs because i cant fucking do more than sit or lie down because of the god damn cramps Ive lost like all my personality and enjoyment of life and lost any one i could call a friend because this is consuming me and i cant fucking do anything i hate it i just want something to go right for once i want to be able to exercise again i love exercising and i havent been able to go for a walk without getting winded and severe cramping I cant even find other people that get cramping on birth control when standing up or doing activities so i dont know why this is happening to me ive looked everywhere i can and all i get is dysphoria because """"mensutruation is a womens health problem"""" and my phobia of pregnancy makes it impossible to browse forums I dont know what my point to all this is i just really need to vent because i feel so alone with this specific problem Life sucks and then you die i guess lmao