#and will just outright way or imply
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Sensory issues that make me not want my hair to touch my neck/ears
vs.
chronic migraine disorder that can be triggered by wearing my hair up for too long or wearing anything on my head at all
vs.
ppl telling me they like me more with long hair&making me feel insecure about having short hair
#im gonna kms#its an every day issue#i dont have this problem when i have short hair#but i HATE feeling judged i get so hyperfocused on it and it makes me so sad and i cant cope w it tbh#its something i work tirelessly to change by trying to be mindful and not give a fuck but#its HARD#so many ppl express how much they like my long hair better and I just wish they'd keep it to themselves#bc now im like rlly insecure about having short hair again#idk.... i remember back in the day when i was working at the smoke shop and had short hair#there were a bunch of girls who would express how good it looked and how theyve always wanted short hair but#their face was too fat or it wouldnt look good on them#and i would encourage them and tell them if its what you want and it would make you happy then it will always suit you and look good#no one in this world has a “face” for short hair#all of our faces suit whatever hair we want for ourselves#but pol have this opinion based off of society constructed beauty standards#and will just outright way or imply#that you look better following those standards#i think ppl should find happiness and self confidence more attractive than adherence to beauty standards#i successfully convinced one of my coworkers and an old and younger customer to cut their hair short#and they were so bright and excited to show me after they did it#and i hyped them up to hell and back like it made me emotional bc it takes courage to embrace your happiness#despite others judgements#im just#not as brave anymore#im rlly tired tbh#anyways srry im just emotional bc my head hurts and im overstimulated from my hair touching my neck jshfjekduriwj
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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Dave and Steven's relationship is so fucking mental literally THE toxicest of yaois 💥
#luly talks#like literally everything about them is insane. fact that dave says steven is of the few people who treated him like a human yet is willing#to just fuck him over and like basically kill him#fact that steven refuses to give purps to the authorities even when he knows he's the criminal and that he WILL keep killing#like its so funny bc usually its dave the one who refuses to leave a situation but this time its phoney whom has him leashed#and its mental cuz WHY I DONT GET IT#and he even lets him do fuck all too remember my post pointing out how this is the only place where dave steals from the prize corner?#when i replay dsaf 1 and the good ending from 3 imma write my essay on steven and their relationship#(<- empty promise bc im a lazy ass)#but seriously steven is such a speciment he's as toxic as it gets in every way possible#not even outright evil just. he's all fucked up man#like he had so many chances to do things right but he only did wrong again and again#also do you guys think dave knows he's steven?#i dont actually remember if there's mention of this on the flipside#and. do you guys think steven REMEMBERS dave?#he's a gen 2 according to himself i guess so he probably has some vague memory#i like to think that's why he's so... favorable to him#LIKE THAT'S THE THING EVEN IN THAT WAY HE'S SO MEAN TO HIM#but not as mean as he is to jack whom he regurlarly kills over nothing#jack and all thef ucking other employees he literally implies bad employees dont last
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are
they cannot
they cannot just be casually implying that the viper isn't just next in line to be imperial divine, but that he straight up wholeass is the imperial divine
there is NO reasonable way that works
#saint.txt#da4 spoilers#spoilers#major spoilers#I wasn't super happy abt it but I could ACCEPT that he could be next in line bc maybe he faked his death or smth and went underground#BUT THE WHOLEASS ACTUAL BLACK DIVINE?#there's no fucking way in hell that works. there's no way he could just disappear and hang out in the pawn shop (mask or no mask) w/out ppl#recognizing him. it would cause mass panic if not outright riots in tevinter if the gd /imperial divine/ just up and disappeared#all of dock town's canon newspapers would be DIVINE MISSING and nothing else. this would be international news#if tevinter suddenly lost the black divine the orlesian chantry would start cheering and dancing in the streets#he gets blighted if Minrathous goes down!!!!!!!!!!!! that alone would cause mass hysteria!!!!!!!!!#on the other hand. hey uh. viper. ashur. the imperial chantry canonically recieves a tithe for every single slave sold in tevinter.#what are you doing with that money. funding the SDs with your slave money? where are you going come back I just have a few questions -#on the other hand no wonder he keeps his face covered and his ID concealed#the SDs would eat him alive if they knew he was funding them with IMPERIAL CHANTRY SLAVE TITHES#and ne.ve + dor.ian + mae + tar.quin are all implied to already know who he really is so ig they're all just in on the blood money plot ig#he's only next in line for me and faked his death I CANNOT justify him being the actual wholeass imperial divine
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Choso has the worst case of eldest daughter mentality kenjaku truly mothered
#their kids are SO fucked up and it's bc of them and I think about this a lot#like an abnormal amount#implied parental (especially mother related) trauma in fiction is like my best friend I love it#if I was a good writer I'd write a fic solely about psychoanalyzing kenjaku and their kids#and the impact that fucked up parental relationship has on kenny's other relationships too holy fuck#sukuna is fully creeped out by kenjaku for everything they've done. uraume just plain ole doesn't like them#no one from the heian era is willing to indulge them in any way bc of the way they are but no one outright SAYS anything#it's fascinating to me I need that brain on my desk so I can talk to it
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IDK why but my brain is replay that one very intersexist bit from the "Why JK Rowling's essay is transphobic" Jammi Dodger video and I hate it.
#vent#for reference it was the bit where him and Shabba (sp?)#are explaining that sex is different from gender (yes!) and that biological sex is real (no!)#and matches your agab (very no!) and at least implies that sex is binary if not outright says it#intersexism#like I would be less mad if Jammi didn't like. do queer advocacy as a living#and (iirc) did his PhD on it#there are better ways to explain it#'sex' is different than gender in the sense that what we call sex does not equal gender. that is correct#sex however (like gender) is a social construct. it's just a collections of body parts that we assigned one thing or another#like I *think* he's gotten better but like :/
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sorry would people get mad at me if i said idk how i feel about the idea of movie sonic and knuckles as brothers. like it already feels like theyre implying it so if they do officially state it in the knuckles series or third movie i wouldnt be surprised or angry and seething and trying to argue theyre not brothers or anything. id just accept it and move on its an alternate universe with different takes on the characters and doesnt affect the games so its whatever. but it does feel kinda odd because like. i love found family as much as the next guy but sonic and knuckles have never been so much as implied to view eachother as brothers in any game or comic or tv show or anything even the stuff that has them written wildly different from their game counterparts so its like . why are we doing this all of a sudden. if you wanna do it in fan content whatever but .. officially...? also i just like sonic and knuckles better as friends/rivals sorry
#i know this probably looks like im just mad because i like so/nknux or whatever but i promise thats not the reason#again the movies are an alternate universe its not the end of the world if they do things that dont match my view of the game characters#also i never even cared for movie so/nknux in the first place i just like it in the games and comics and some of the tv shows#if anything my shipping related concerns are less with anything sonic and knuckles are actually doing#and more with how movie only sonic fans/people who view the movies as an actual authority on sonic lore#would act about it. because ive already seen game so/nknux fanart get ''Ummm ... theyre brothers :/'' type comments ..#to be clear if they do outright state Yeah movie sonic and knuckles are brothers. then shipping them would be gross#im already weirded out by the idea of shipping them Now even when they Havent outright said that#but game sonic and knuckles existed first and for way longer and have never been implied to view eachother as brothers at all#shipping them in the games is literally fine .. ?#especially if theyr elike me and they liked the ship for years before the movies came out#and solely like it based on other content
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why the fuck is it that some people cant seem to acknowledge that people can just... be disabled. not through any fault of their own, not because something "happened" to them, just because, you know, sometimes people have disabilities. like, come on
#.pdf#rd#kd#just a warning these tags are long. like. really incredibly long. i had thoughts.#sorry for the vague ass post i'm just upset about some stupid shit my dad said yesterday.#namely: outright telling me that he doesn't believe i have non-24 (circadian rhythm disorder).#and that even if i do he doesn't believe it's possible for it to actually be a lifelong and disabling condition.#*also: this post isn't meant to imply that disabilities that did have some inciting incident are more accepted or anything.#it's just that i'm frustrated with the “you're disabled? why? what happened?” sentiment a lot of people seem to have.#nothing happened to cause my disability. i'm just like this. no i can't change it. what the fuck do you want me to tell you?#i'd guess it probably has to do with society's focus on work and productivity and career-mindedness above all else.#and when someone comes along that doesn't fit in with the way things are structured it just doesn't compute.#because the idea of people who can't dedicate their entire lives to working is so fundamentally contradictory to their view of... i don't-#-know. meaning in life? fulfillment? that they feel a need to reject the possibility altogether.#this is mainly when dealing with invisible disabilities from what i've seen. because i think there's a tendency to view visibly disabled-#-people as belonging to a different category altogether. which of course is its own issue but i'm not visibly disabled so i don't feel-#-like it's necessarily my place to speak on that.#anyway. i just want my struggles to be acknowledged as real. because they are. and i need people to understand that I Have A Disability.#albeit one many people don't even believe could be real because there's a sort of belief that circadian rhythms are purely a product of-#-external forces like sunlight so “you can't possibly have yours be different and have you tried just going outside more?” sigh.#sorry i also just remembered my dad telling me he doesn't believe i can have something so rare because the chances of having it are too low.#which is some ridiculous logic to me. rare doesn't mean it's impossible. some amount of people have to wind up with it regardless.#i just lucked out i guess.#n24 tag
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built this life and now it's mine - Fab Four fluff + jetpoison* (platonic or romantic, up to interpretation) (for @caffeineecold)
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Kobra got the jukebox in the corner working two days ago and Jet's just returned from a run that nearly killed him but also scored them a crate of real booze — not the shitty moonshine brewed in the Zones that everyone pretends they like even though it tastes like the inside of the boot that gave bootlegging its name, real stuff.
Party's already sloppy drunk, sitting at the counter, and Jet doesn't usually let himself get this tipsy. Kobra and Ghoul sit in the corner next to the jukebox, picking out tunes and passing back and forth a bottle of champagne, of all things. For being a sandpup, Ghoul has expensive tastes.
Something bass-heavy is playing when Party slips from the stool and nearly topples over. Jet's reflexes are sluggish, but he manages to slide from his own seat and catch Poison. Party's pissed at him for nearly dying, again, and Jet expects a shove and dark look, but that's not what he gets. Instead, Poison leans into him, fitting them so naturally together that it's almost frightening.
"Y'okay?" Jet asks quietly into Party's hair.
"Dance with me, Star?"
Jet blinks, shocked. This is the last thing he expected. But he's just drunk enough, inhibitions just low enough, and he always crumbles when Pois calls him Star. Nobody else really ever does. "Sure," he finds himself saying, and Pois curls even more against him, their hands finding their places without even looking. It's too easy to sway back and forth together, in some facsimile of dance that's really just more an excuse for the comfort of touch that they both need, to the lilting gravelly guitars playing through the jukebox speakers.
The track skips and Kobra thumps the side of the box to get it playing again, a rising guitar interlude without words. Poison's head is nested against Jet's jaw, red hair filling his entire field of vision. On an impulse he doesn't resist for once, probably due to how tipsy he is, he presses his lips to Poison's temple.
"I'm sorry, sunshine," he whispers. "Fuck, Poison, I love you. Not the way... you want me to, probably, but I do. I love you so much." His eye is wide and staring, a little bit desperate. There's no other way he can say it.
"Don't leave me," mumbles Poison softly into the skin of his neck. The song is different now, something softer. "My Star..."
Jet closes his eye. "I'm not trying to," he says.
Poison sniffs, still swaying to the new tempo of this song. "Try harder."
Pois probably won't remember this in the morning. Kobra and Ghoul will give them weird looks, like they've completely lost it, and Jet will know why. Heck, they're giving them weird looks now, over the top of a champagne bottle and between smirking giggling asides to each otherm But Party is too drunk to retain much. They won't ever talk about it, except maybe when it comes up in an argument they force everyone to hear. You said you wouldn't leave me, you said you love me. I don't care how it is I just want you to love me whatever way you can.
The future is unfolding in front of them in so many ways. But right now it's just two friends, irresponsibly drunk and folded into each other.
#hey btw uhh I have never had alcohol and I likely never will bc of family history with it so. uh. yeah this was weird to write#but also very fun skfnskfnks#the progression of ''party'' (implies a bit of distance) -> ''poison'' (closer) -> ''pois'' (which is something only#Kobra ever uses out loud. like Kobra is the only one who can out loud call his brother that. the others think it though#and it definitely implies intimacy)#is something I think about a lot#btw the first song is the one I took the title from (accident prone by jawbreaker) and the second one is fade into you by mazzy star#uh so... part of the reason I don't romantically ship jetpoison is bc every time I write them I end up projecting#my own deep seated platonic Yearning onto them#also I'm dubiously aroace so like. that probably explains a lot abt why I don't write outright ship/tend to lean into ambiguous friendships#so whenever I use a ship name with an asterisk I'm basically saying idc if you ship it or even take what I'm saying as that#I personally just don't want to go there :)#sorry I am very confusing about this stuff. I can be slightly in love with my friends in a possibly aroace way 😅#I don't even understand it myself
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#some of the anti atla and atla critical people *really* need to check themselves#going on racist and anti buddhist rants bc the native girl got with a monk and not the moody awkward teen is WILD#the anti azula pro zuko and anti zuko pro azula kids are also the same people in different fonts#you can tell how theyd treat victims irl too just by how they talk about them#and the guise of hating the mlm fans and ships (and the wlw ones too for that matter) bc yours isnt canon either is a weird thing to do#also the treatment of saying that a canonical characteristic is fanon bc you want a kid to be a hot moody boy and not autistic is WEIRD#get a fucking grip#also saying that a full nation deserved to outright DIE is weird af#calling buddhist cultist bc you couldnt understand the context and outright quotes from the show saying otherwise is weird af#good god these people are so fucking stupid its unreal#and other people that act the same are the zu/tara and zu/kka kids#the new 'shipping war' literally started bc more people were shipping two boys instaed of a girl and boy (NEITHER WHICH ARR CANON#and they get mad and quote the same shit verbatim#and then make zuko someone completely fucking different but in different ways#same with katara if shes not bitchy then shes a victim who needs help (but not by aang or sokka or toph or suki or-) and cant do anything :#this aint even a claim that atla doesnt have faults yall just worry about the wrong things that dont matter#also the fact yall dont know what orientalism is nor when or how to talk about it#coming back bc of the tyzula fic that was heavy anti zuko by claiming that the comic that had the most inaccuracies of them all#was 'heavuly implied' to include him TRYING TO RAPE AND MURDER HIS SISTER BY MAKING HER MUTE#yeah. yeah.#how many people that were calling it canon was concerning but since this seems like a untagged ooc and reverse role fic (w azula joining)#im just going to ignore it#babes. youre writing a fic.#just SAY this is canon divergence and role reversal#no need to lie and say its canon when it isnt 🙄#coming back AGAIN to say that calling one issue of comic trash bc it checks the character you like#but saying the other one (read: the previous tags about the tyzula fic) canonical bc it demonizes the one you dont#(and has the most inaccuracies of all of the comics to boot)#youre making it VERY CLEAR its not about 'keeping it canon' or consistent but instead keeping what YOU want as your only fact#once again youre focusing on the wrong things
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Im #1 yuwin hater bc it was so popular but their dynamic is actually so off like its company assigned gay bait and winwin was bad at pretending he didnt hate it and yuta seemed annoyed winwin was bad at it and had to compensate for them both and was way overselling it which made winwin hate it more. Vicious cycle. victims of the fujoshi industrial complex really
#i would never hate on them for performing part of their jobs but they were really bad at it#i genuinely wonder what the companies tell them in training about this specific part of the job description#like is it implied? is it said outright? how much instruction is there? do they tell them theyre not selling it hard enough??#are there tips and tricks or are ppl just naturals at pretending like they might be into their coworkers. what a weird fucking job huh#actually i saw a video of a former trainee saying many of them kind of understand this is a tool to get more popular with and its like#mutually beneficial in that way so theyll just lean into it even without being told to and theyll just play along with each others improv#very fucking weird job.#the evolution of singer dancer to whatever the fuck they do now. how is singing dancing such a small part of their jobs and success now#nct#sidney talks shit
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Using this as an audio reference for the posts I'm making, but to summarize:
Yuri starts out mad.
Yuri tries to calm himself down with a deep breath to ask for details instead of going through it angry.
Flynn doesn't say "like a good knight" in the sense of putting himself down. He simply says "as a knight" (the tl here doesn't use that, but with that included it's basically along the lines of "even though I had doubts, as a knight, I was determined to follow my orders").
Once Yuri has answers he calms down significantly.
Yuri uses " 'ttaku", which is a shortened down version of "mattaku" (Yuri often shortens words and speaks very casually), which in this particular situation basically would mean "geez", or "good grief". In this manner, it's expressive of exasperation/frustration/etc.
Yuri never mentions that "Flynn told him what to do" like the dub does (because in fact Flynn did not ever tell Yuri what to do. He only gave Sodia and his other knights orders. He expressed his own desire to take responsibility, but never told Yuri and his friends what to do).
At this point you can tell the anger has gone out of him and that he's calmed down, now that Flynn is approaching this with admission and responsibility.
Sodia is asking that Flynn returns as soon as possible (I believe this was a general translation error).
Flynn's thank you to Yuri is tonally much more heartfelt.
Yuri's response and gratefulness at Flynn coming back to himself is tonally much more heartfelt, relieved and sincere.
#GTF Vesperia Clips#basically the dub version is littered with errors /and/ your regular resident angry dub Yuri#just to be clear on mattaku it can also mean ''completely'' ''totally'' ''seriously'' etc. it depends on the context#''yare yare'' is also used for ''geez'' and ''good grief'' but in a more sarcastic/casual way#''mattaku'' or in this case '' 'ttaku'' is more of a quiet expression of exasperation rather than smth you'd yell/shout when aggravated#it CAN sometimes be used like damn as a minor expletive but tbh I personally I wouldn't put it in this situation#bc his aggravation is lessening and they're getting to the point so I'd argue it's more just exhausted of the whole thing#but the dub took it a step further and used it as fuel against Flynn as they do mcfuckin' do#I'd say it's more ''damn it'' at the whole situation bc there's absolutely no reason at this point to say ''damn it Flynn''#esp bc that led into the dub having Yuri go at him accusing him of telling them what to do when he... literally did not#and did not even imply he was going to. it was just pulled from their asses and/bc Yuri never even said Flynn's name there#it's stuff like this where they add remove and change things always in stark opposite of Flynn's favor that riles me up :/#what I mean is that the dub changed Yuri's overall exasperation into smth accusatory when rly Yuri is like#stop trying to do this by yourself. it was never about oh woe is me how dare you tell us what to do#if he was directing a ''damn it'' at Flynn it STILL would not be bc ''he told them what to do''#it would STILL BE because Flynn was trying to take this responsibility fully onto himself#it's so irritating bc the dub will be spot on right on point with everything but then AS SOON as it's abt Flynn it's like#they start messing around with things and the tl is changed and yadda yadda until around late arc 2#it like lowkey comes across as enemy to ally instead of ally with a whole character arc#and the reason I legit feel like they did it on purpose is BECAUSE they can obviously tl correctly based on other areas of the game#but when Flynn is involved they tweak things if not just outright change the context (remember my Nordopolica post? yeahhhh)#how is that not on purpose? how is it that everything can be spot on for a chunk all at once#but then a certain char shows up and it's repeatedly inaccurate? repeatedly geared in a negative light that originally didn't even EXIST?#and then ofc they almost always use Yuri himself to reflect that negativity against Flynn which is a WHOLE other story/issue for me#it's like... say I wrote a neutral statement. someone comes along and tls with negative sounding additions. it's sort of like that#I'm not that good at explaining things/how I feel abt things but yeah I hope that makes sense#it's just like... I KNOW they can tl spot on so when I keep seeing them stick in all these things with/against Flynn it upsets me sm#it feels like they tl normally and then see Flynn and go oh hold on let's change that bc it's Flynn#and that's why it's so frustrating for me :/
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I FINALLY BEAT TOTK!! After like 3 detours for other Zelda games lmao
And I did it in the Twilight Armor set. because I could 😌
It was alright! Honestly, I don't know if I liked it more than BoTW, I'd need to replay that one. It's been a bit. But that last fight was more Zorah Magdaros than I was expecting (iykyk) and not in a good way. Idk, I think people are focusing purely on the spectacle when they say it's amazing, which is fine! Dragons are cool and it's cool that you get to ride around on your girlfriend, but mechanically it's just Colgera again. And yeah, the ending felt like a big ass-pull, I'm sorry lmao. zelda just suddenly isn't a dragon anymore?? With no lasting effects of giving up her entire being? Which clearly wasn't true, but she doesn't even remember any of it?? Link doesn't get to keep the arm?? Or isn't at least down one?? Where even was Sonia before that last bit?? Could they have done that the entire time?? And Link didn't even hug her???!? Also did the ancient sages even have names???? Idk, suspension of disbelief and all that but the little things the devs don't address add up and take me out of it. It'd be easier to ignore if there wasn't so much, or if the rest of the game made up for it and it doesn't for me lol.
That is not to say I didn't have fun with it, honestly I spent more time running around on foot than I did in BoTW (mostly because I wanted to complete the map but still) but I only pushed myself to finish it so I could justify replaying Okami since I already took so many breaks and, well. I don't know how to put it better than that. Solid game, others are better, 7/10
#totk spoilers#just in case#i've seen the theory about Sonia's spirit being trapped in the stone Ganondorf stile from her#but there’s no indication of that in-game#you know what would have implied that? a little particle animation going from sonia into the stone during that cutscene. thats it.#not that it matters cause rauru supposedly moved on before ypu leave the first island and claims there's nothing else he can do for zelda#which ends up being either a very poor choice of words or an outright lie depending on how you look at it#which. why even say that then???#also like. you'd think the guy would be more concerned that his wife's soul is in the clutches of the demon king#but he’s rather blasé about it#so i don't really buy it#unfortunately that's about as far as i care about sonia and rauru#They're not very interesting characters tbh#so much of their personalities are explained at you instead of shown#sonia in particular only exists to die#i don't QUITE consider it fridging since her death affects everyone#but she's doesn't have any real presence besides being Rauru's wife and having a cute design. She’s like Ilia that way.#rauru's just kind of an idiot#mineru WOULD have been interesting if she was an earlier quest and could talk to you at all#the zonai make me miss the twili#i do thoroughly enjoy the theory that the twili are early zonai tho and you can pry it from my cold dead hands#but the story in this game is. not presented well despite having interesting concepts.#idk i think totk has the same overall problem for me that botw had‚ only worse#in that all the interesting bits have already happened and you aren’t really part of it#which. kind of defeats the purpose of a silent protagonist#even if you toss that out link is less of a character in this than he was in botw#he just. doesn't react to anything he should be reacting to#previous games (ESPECIALLY Skyward Sword) had this figured out#it feels like they ironically went backwards on as much as they went forwards. ah well.#again i DID have fun with this game! i want to be clear about that! but idk. it just. doesn't hold me as well as other games. that's all.
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Okay but this is really interesting:
So far with almost every Servant, we and they know how they died— if they died (ie: Scáthach, Hassan, the Pseuds, etc).
But with this line, it’s not “hey btw Master I Died because of poison in my tea” it’s “some historians think I died because of poisoned tea”
Which has the implications that either Li Shuwen straight up doesn’t know how he died and had to look into it or he doesn’t fully remember and the Grail and Summon System in Chaldea supplied him with all of the possibilities of his death and he just went with the most likely one because honestly him dying by loosing in a fight is nil to none for him.
#know how as in they usually tell us or imply to us outright or it’s a story thing if it’s mentioned at all#in a way this makes sense because we just straight up don’t know much about Li Shuwen irl but it’s still so weird and interesting to me#kiwiki plays fate#fgo#fate#fate go#fate grand order#li shuwen#fgo li shuwen
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beyond frustrating that even my chronic pain is tied directly to my trauma
#like what. they got away w everything & i get to be in near constant pain + fatigue for the rest of my life??? how is that fair?#im just now learning how not to beat myself up for needing lots of rest too. i used to think i was just lazy & rude.#but its literally my body telling me 'hey we need to chill out for a while & not move much. sitting is a good way to do that'#i cannot help it. yet instead of being angry w those men i was angry at myself for needing more rest than others#(my dad among other things is pretty ableist & its very evident. its rlly hard not to internalize the shit he says sometimes)#anyway. cool that the abuse fucked me up so bad internally that it cant be reversed & continues to cause me significant pain 🙃#actuallytraumatized#actuallyabused#csa vent#kinda? more implied than outright stated though#trauma vent
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