#its driving me insane tbh

[andromachos]

"i hate people coming up with political reasons to justify why they either like or hate something. you can be annoyed, you can dislike, stop cancelling" crowd when they have the chance to seem politically superior saying why its bad to express dislike something loud

[jellitchi]

isat au by @/isjaszzz and @/kunehokki

[nintendont2502]

john as a heir who inherits the narrative freely, doesnt even know that he has the narrative, and barely changes it unless hes being directed to by some outside force (breath as directionless, independent, detatched, free). john as a character whos never existed at the same time as an alternate version of him, a character who never has to face himself and remains largely unchanged by the end of the narrative even as it changes around him

ult dirk as a prince who destroys the narrative and destroys through the narrative, who is determined to reshape it in his own image and 'fix' it, who will make himself the villain if thats what it takes and do whatever he has to in order to help everyone, even if it means hurting them (heart as putting on and taking off masks when needed, inflexible, cold, building a coherent narrative of their own story). dirk as a character who constantly has to face himself via one of his many alternate selves, who can only gain control by uniting those alternate selves into one coherent whole

john is homestuck and ult dirk is homestuck post canon and one of the first things he does when he gains power is kill john (kill homestuck) through the narrative. destroying the (previously free, directionless, detatched) narrative and destroying that narrative through your own (inflexible, cold) narrative. theyre so yaoi

[synthshenanigans]

You Sound Like Louis Burdett is a banger song I wish it was real 💔 [looking at you spotify]

skeleton-less & textless versions ✨ wahoo ✨

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A digital painting of Colin and Mark from the film Meantime. The brothers are huddled together, staring blankly at the lit match that Mark is holding. Both of them have unlit cigarettes in their mouths. Colin's hood is up. The piece is comprised of mainly blues and greens - with Colin's clothing predominantly green and Mark's predominantly blue - except for their skin and the match, which is the brightest point of the piece. The piece is textured with grain areas and hatching. They sit in front of a light blue wall.]

Inktober - Day 19 (Ridge)

Film - Meantime (Mike Leigh, 1983)

[potatobugz]

hypothetical "the rat grinders if they were bad kids and vice versa" type drawings. there are many thoughts swimming around in my brain...

was this mostly an excuse to draw gorgug in mary ann's style of outfit? maybe. am i having fun? absolutely <|:)

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Yashiro: He is a wish-granting ghost with a fickle afterlife

Yashiro: I don't know if he really loves me

Yashiro: He probably loves his knife more than me

Kou: Such a beautiful girl. How could he not love you?

Yashiro: Of course he could. That's what makes him so attractive

(inspired by a quote from chapter 9 of Can Xue's Love in the New Millennium)

[adustoflove]

Next person to ask why I only work 2 days a week gets a sob story. I spend the other 5 days recovering from 20 years of trauma brought onto me by my parents. Anymore questions?

[skitskatdacat63]

Deeply unwell 2 am behavior when I blast Closer on repeat and download Fernando pictures 🫠

[bandtrees]

everyone who knows me knows im a horror gore graphic dark shit etc guy but sometimes i remember that one mob psycho fic that described the cat that dies in the manga mogami arc in the most gruesome graphic detail imaginable for like 3 paragraphs and its just so stupid to me. like it was so over the top it stopped being upsetting and just started being kind of annoying

like, the cat dies in the manga offscreen and then is shown in a wide shot with a little pool of blood. and then it gets back up because its the mogami arc. hell even just the implication in the anime that they'll kill the cat is upsetting enough to get the point across even if they dont go through with it. how cheap a fic writer are you that you have to describe a cat being beaten and its intestines being out and blood everywhere to express that "bullies killing a cat in front of a kid" is upsetting

does bullying and abuse have to be some needlessly graphic serial killer shit to be meaningful? god

[opens-up-4-nobody]

OCD is pretty common among autistic people, and many of us who dont have full-on OCD may experience some things that can be kinda similar to some aspects of it. I'm on the spectrum myself and i also have this issue of basically getting stuck on some thoughts. It sucks, sometimes it's something that makes me angry but doesnt actually matter that much in the grand acheme of things and i just end up in a bad mood over something stupid and cant stop thinking abt it for a few days even though there are no new thoughts about it, i just keep going through old ones again and again and again. I dont know if there's a term for it, but hey, at least I'm not the only one, and neither are you. Generally i just look for distractions and wait until the thoughts get less obsessive and annoying

That makes sense, thanks!

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Tell us about The Guys what's their dynamic like

ok thats kind of on me for starting with the hardest character dynamic first

so. cocoa and luci. they're both characters that, narratively, are barely expected to be characters at all. let me explain. im entering unskippable cutscene mode. sorry <333

luci takes the role of the silly lil ai assistant... kinda. shes not supposed to be. shes Supposed to be just a basic guide/support mechanic, but she sure. Isn't. it was an accident. dont worry about it. nobody else did.

cocoa is cocoa. she wasn't always cocoa, but now she's all there is. easypeasy ^w^ she's like if an npc was a person, mostly. she just kinda stands or wanders around until shes needed, rarely speaks beyond basic preset responses, she just goes here :] shes just a silly lil thang, kinda confused but got the spirit, etc. And Also She Happens To Be The Highest Ranked Agent Here. dont worry about it. nobody else did.

they also happen to be, most likely, the two characters to change the most across the entire throughline. with like one exception, maybe. which is what makes this hard. im not going to waffle about too long, dont worry. probably. ill try.

so for a while it seems like...

...aka they dont seem to notice each other much at all. and it stays that way for pretty much the entire throughline! bbbecause everyones too busy running about to worry about The PA Voice and Their Shockingly Chill Coworker. unfortunately, The Problems.

see, they're both burying the lead. Hard.

because luci is The problem. Capital. as something that Super isnt supposed to be conscious (let alone alive,) she has a Lot of shit to figure out. and a Lot of issues. it takes a while for her to figure out her bearings (no thanks to everyone else, who was too busy squabbling about a "data compromise" and ""trying to find a new manager"". eyeroll.) but more or less, she's decided:

1) humans are fucking annoying. they worry about so much mess, care about all the wrong stuff, and insist on shoving it on other people. unfortunately, they're also deeply entertaining. theres 100% a superiority complex going on there. 2) she has Got to become something else. she wants something. deeply and desperately. its just... well, she's still figuring out what that is.

luci, as a character, is obsessed with Character and Relevancy. the deepest throes of passion and hatred, desire and purpose. to know for certain what your place is. (this doesnt say anything about her.) those that burn brightly like that never seem to die. not truly. (this says absolutely nothing about her.) to become a single, unshakable, irreplaceable star. (this means absolutely nothing about anything to her.)

and one of those things that grabbed her attention the most was that of abnormalities. irreplaceable, undying, bastions of Meaning. That was what it was. unfortunately, as Emotion isnt one of the things that she's inherently built with, it becomes a bit of an issue.

thus begs the question: how do you bring out that spark in something? and well, that's not a question she has the information to answer. however, if theres one thing shes good at, its Fucking Around And Finding Out ! and well, if there's some collateral damage or casualties about it, well. oops. not like they ever cared about death and the like here before. soooo whatever ^w^

and well, she has to practice her ominous dialogue with Someone who won't rat her out, soooo...

cocoa, on the other hand, is... well, she's different, for sure. that wasnt always her name, for one. or i guess, it always was. if i tried to explain her entire deal id be here another 10 paragraphs or so, but to make a long story short... living under the specific pressure that the city pushes onto its residents is taken better for some than others. cocoa is not one of these. the constant pressure of needing to provide and prove your worth to forces beyond your control put a ridiculous amount of strain on her, and even still, it could decide to snuff you out without a moments notice on a whim. and well, there's little you can do when you're someone like her.

its something she tried to bottle up for a long, long time. unfortunately, making it into Lcorp did not, in fact, help with this At All. and all of that dread and paranoia, the misguided self loathing, and the sheer inescapability of it all... well, of course she snapped. it wasn't anything loud, bombastic. just quiet. quietly, whoever it was that she used to be had vanished in an instant, snuffed by her own hand, before anything else could get the chance to do it first. and what remained was cocoa! a name to an absence. more Function than Person, she simply... became what was needed of her. and nothing more. and unfortunately, with how everything else was... this change slipped completely under the radar. for all except for one witness.

it doesnt mean anything to her. (it cant mean anything to her. not yet.)

all of that happens before the story even begins.

unfortunately, a superiority complex + the inability to process your own flaws + being allowed to be in control completely unchecked for an extended period of time allows luci to. spiral. to put it bluntly.

it becomes a horrible little race to figure out what exactly is going on before too many people end up dying in horrible ways. luci simply watches them run in circles like little mice. by the time they manage to scramble together enough to confront her, its a tiny group of maybe 4 against luci... and also cocoa. who, in trying to avoid thinking too hard about the meddling that luci was doing and the holes poked in her persona by the rest of the cast over time, has once again completely shut off in favor of simply doing whatever was asked of her. and well, luci was technically the one who had the authority to be dealing out directions, so... well. not gonna think about it too hard. shes had to suppress other agents before, so...

this, ultimately, becomes where cocoa's arc comes to a head. as stable as she seemed, turns out she was constantly teetering on a very dangerous edge. that edge between allowing outside influence, the bravery and will to push, to face uncertainty and risk... and erasing yourself entirely, forgoing the harms of failure and performance in favor of becoming something more akin to a tool, unable to perceive, but also unable to be hurt.

luci believes she knows cocoa. she's seen the depths of her-- she thinks-- has seen the dissatisfaction, the fear, the rage, the desire to reach and tear what she wants from anyone she can reach. for just a brief moment, she'd seen all of it, just before cocoa became... cocoa. and she sees herself in that. sympathy was not something that was afforded to her. it was not in her capability to feel that attachment. (it doesnt mean anything to her.) they were the same, werent they? held back by things out of their control. (it means absolutely nothing to her.) so it would be a kindness-- no, an act of pity, to grant this one the ability to truly Feel that, to Understand the self in its entirety. grant her that freedom. (it means absolutely nothing about anything to her.)

but to cocoa... this was just another will overriding her own. the reason something snapped-- she wanted to do good. to be good. but this world does not allow it. shes angry, yes. more than anything. but shes angry because of her own perceived uselessness. more than anything, she's exhausted. that buildup of anger and resentment-- it was something she desperately didn't want to inflict on others. so instead, she turned those teeth inward, and tore herself out for the crime of feeling. she doesnt want to act. she doesnt want to run. she doesnt want to be anything. she just wants to rest.

luci, insistent on her correctness but inherently oblivious, convinced she is giving a gift to someone she has done nothing but harm. and cocoa, afraid to let down the veneer of distance, to allow herself to want and hope-- afraid to take on the responsibility of being a Person again. but these two werent the only players in the game.

and well. cocoa makes her decision.

[jekyllnahyena]

me: oh yeah, I finally got myself a Hamilton shirt, super happy about that >:D

friend from uni: oh I didn't know you were into the musical that much :)

me, after several seconds:...first of all, hoW DARE-

[gothamcityneedsme]

im usually all for fiction only needing to follow its own logic and i dont need realism all the time BUT one of my exceptions is like. characters sleeping. someone like writes an amount of not sleeping that would cause Actual Death and im like. Thats probably not what youre going for

or just making characters who like often go 35+ hours with no sleep and im like. that ultimately just. Doesnt work.

[tiercel]

Tumblr talking about making its site the same algorithmic slop pile as every other social media bc the users migrating here are too soft brained to curate their own feeds

[catominor]

however speaking of Visual Catos someday i will make a post about how really normal i am about the bronze bust of cato