#and i came across a pic which is literally exactly like one of the boss outfit pics from the other day

[skitskatdacat63]

Deeply unwell 2 am behavior when I blast Closer on repeat and download Fernando pictures 🫠

[lubdubsworld]

Falling for you( Falling from grace) Jungkook

Falling for you ( Falling from grace) Jungkook

Read Chapter 1 here

Read Chapter 2 here

Read Chapter 3 here

Rated : 18 +

Warning : . Fuck buddies? Or rather enemies that have sex. They just really hate each other but also can’t keep their hands off each other. Fair warning this has no plot. its just them being idiots .

Chapter warning : a little bit of plot just to keep things interesting yeah? 

Chapter 4

The washroom on the seventeenth floor was the unofficial gossip hub and normally I would steer clear of that place but desperate times called for desperate measures. I was pretty sure I looked like I’d been dragged backwards through a hedgerow and I had to get it fixed before I got written up . 

Willing myself not to openly flinch with every step, I tried to curb the trembling in my thighs, almost painfully sensitive to how wet and messy my lower half as. What the fuck had I been thinking. 

When I entered the restroom, I moved to the huge ornate mirror in the center and took a nice long look at myself. 

 I felt my throat seize up in shock.

Good God. 

I looked ten times worse than I felt. The hair in the back of my head was sticking up , four even gaps from where he’d gripped my hair too tight. Yelping, I pulled on the dozen hairpins holding my hair up in a messy bun, letting my hair fall around my shoulders. Panicking , I threaded my fingers through the strands, wincing when I touched my jaw. What the fuck...

I leaned closer, peering at the small abrasion near my chin. It was a bruise, shaped exactly like Jungkook’s thumb. And it was already turning into an ugly shade of puce. 

Slightly hysterical because, Hoseok was so incredibly unbending when it came to office etiquette and  I did not want to get fired, I flipped at the fancy taps, sticking my hand underneath the cold water and splashing it all over my face. 

The door opened behind me and I flinched.

“Oh, hey Areum....” Three of my colleagues walked in . I recognized two of them , Jieun and Hana . The third one looked new.

“Hey...” I croaked out, trying hard not to look like I’d just been fucked to an inch of my life in a supply closet by the boss’ son. 

Oh fuck, what the hell was I thinking? 

The girls moved to the mirror , spreading out across the long counter and pulling out their compacts and lipsticks . I kept my head down, still trying to calm my pounding heart. 

“So let me get this straight, he called you at eleven in the night yesterday and wanted to meet you ? At your apartment?” Hana was saying. 

The new girl was blushing as red as a tomato.

“Yeah...he uh... he told me he was just returning from his training. He’s a boxer.” There’s a shy sort of admiration in her voice and I felt an odd sense of foreboding. 

“Booty call.... He wanted to fuck you for sure.” Jieun said firmly. “ You’re a lucky bitch, Sana... ”

Sana.....

My fingers started trembling when I heard the familiar name. I tried to calm myself down but it was impossible . A red hot sort of rage began licking its way up my spine. It wasn’t new. I knew he fucked other people. We both did. 

but I’d never stood within two feet of one of his conquests. 

“ Yeah...but then he called me like an hour later and said he wasn’t coming around.” Her voice was tinged with disappointment and I felt a sick sort of satisfaction. 

Jungkook had cancelled because of the pic I’d sent him. 

“Maybe he thought he wanted more.... like you told me he asked you to come meet him at practice tomorrow right? To get coffee afterwards... ? Maybe he wants to do this properly....take you out on dates...get to know you....”

I couldn’t stay there a second longer. 

“Ladies...” I bowed quickly and they offered me cheerful smiles. I all but ran out of the restroom, hating the sharp sting of tears somewhere near my lashes. 

I stumbled to the back stairwell, which was mostly unused and usually deserted. Gripping the walls, I slid down to sit on the floor, drawing my knees up to bury my face in. 

There was a reason I didn’t do public sex, I thought, shaking. Despite the way I mouthed off at Jungkook, sex with him always took a toll and I had always, always made sure I had space and time to recover from it. Gripping my thighs and trying to fight the urge to whine, I fumbled with my phone. 

“Areum?”

“Can I have the day off?” I whispered, shaking a little. 

“You alright?” Hoseok’s voice sounded genuinely worried and I hummed.

“ Got my period.” I said blankly. 

“ Gotchu. I’ll fill up the form and get one of the interns to pack your stuff up. You need to get some meds or something? Need a ride home?”

I felt warmth bloom in my chest. This is why Hoseok was such a great HR manager. He genuinely cared. 

“ I don’t need a ride. Or anything else.” I said quickly, “I’ll take a cab...”

There was a slight shuffling and then, an altogether familiar and unwelcome voice in the background went.

“Who’s that?”

Oh fuck. What the hell was he doing there? 

“Areum...hang on, Jungkook’s here....he wants to talk to you...” Hoseok said quickly and before I could protest , I heard Jungkook’s low raspy exhale against my ears.

“Where are you?” He said shortly. 

I considered protesting but remembered that Hoseok was still there. 

“ The back stairwell... I... I’ll come there , I...”

“Stay right there. I’ll come get you.” 

Before I could respond, he had hung up. I stayed on the floor, staring stright at the opposite wall. I forced myself not to think, trying to take deep breaths. The truth was I was exhausted. Physically and otherwise. 

Letting my head fall back against the wall, I closed my eyes, trying not to think about what Id’ heard in the restroom. Was Jungkook interested in Sana? Meeting him at practice? Coffee? 

That just screamed dating to me. I’d always assumed that Jungkook wasn’t into dating. That he just enjoyed quick fucks because that’s all he had ever offered me. So maybe, it wasn’t because Jungkook didn’t want to date. It was because Jungkook didn’t want to date  me. 

 Which was fine. I didn’t want to date him either. I really didn’t . 

“Hey....you okay?”

I had to inhale shakily, just to bring myself to look at him. I felt my heart ache something fierce because he was kneeling in front of me, strands of hair falling into doe back eyes. Eyes that fairly glistened with genuine concern. There was no infuriating smirk or haughty smile....instead his lips were parted in genuine concern, eyebrows furrowed in worry and one hand resting on my knee , fingers just so unfamiliarly gentle. 

I stared at him for another second and smiled evenly.

“Guess I’m gonna be needing that wheelchair after all.” I quipped. 

He stared at me for a second before his face split in a wide grin, a genuine bark of laughter spilling out of him. He looked so carefree and unabashed that I bit my lips, staring at him some more. 

“Let’s get you home , yeah?”

I nodded, letting him grip my arm to help me up. 

“It’s okay. I can walk... “ I said softly and he hummed, but still kept an arm around me and I noticed that he had my handbag slung on the other shoulder.

We reached the elevator and rode down in silence .

I followed him to the basement parking and he fumbled with the smart key to his car , pointing in the direction of the multitude of cars and I watched one of the flashy red ones blink. 

“Let’s go to my place...., yeah?” He said casually and I groaned.

“Jungkook, I know this going to make your ego swell but I’m not joking when I say that I cannot physically take your dick at least for another couple of days.” 

He rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t want to fuck you, God. I’m working on a project for the Art Fest down at the Museum and I’m staying home. You can rest there....” He said casually, moving to put his seat belt on. He fixed the mirrors by prodding a few buttons and I watched the tattoos on his arm flex as he gripped the steering wheel, one arm coming around the headrest of my seat so he could turn and back out of the lot carefully. 

I frowned at the broad shoulders near my face. .

“Why would I rest there? I have a home....” I protested , watching him hold the door open for me. 

“Because I know for a fact that , it being Monday, both your sister and your mother are supposed to be coming over today to cook and clean for you because you have no life skills, “ He grinned and I glared at him, “ . They’ll probably notice the limp and I just thought I’d spare you the humiliation.” 

I didn’t respond because he was right. My mom and sister were home and it would be impossible to get any rest with them around. The fact that Jungkook somehow knew this made me feel jittery and nervous though. 

“You have a fight this weekend?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. 

He kept his eyes on the road, sparing me just one questioning glance.

“How’d you know?” He asked curiously and I bit my lips.

 I’ve been following your boxing career for a three years.

 “ Just heard someone say something at the office...” I said vaguely. 

“You aren’t invited.” He said sharply and I gripped the seats, annoyed.

“I don’t want to be there anyway.” I snapped back. 

He huffed.

“I’m serious about what I do Areum... I don’t want you interfering in that part of my life, alright? We’ve been through this before.”

I sneered at that.

“I know....isn’t that why you literally banned me from your gym. “ 

He didn’t reply and I stared at my hands. 

He had invited that girl, though, my mind supplied helpfully. 

He invited her not only to the gym, to watch him practice, but also for coffee afterwards...you know...to get to know her better....probably because she’s not the kind of girl who would spread her legs as easily as you do.....

 I stared out of the window, remembering how pretty and put together Sana had looked. The dainty walk, the perfect make up and the long hair, styled perfectly. 

I was beautiful too. Of course I was and I knew it. 

Men like Jungkook didn’t go for unattractive women even if it was for a quick lay. But, there’s beauty and then there’s actual charm? I wasn’t charming in any sense of the word. But then, did I have to be charming and attractive and perfect to go see him fight? 

Why?

What about the other people there? If literally anyone could go watch him fight, why wasn’t I allowed? 

“I want to come watch you train....” I said impulsively, my anger getting the better of me. 

Jungkook turned to give me a shocked stare. 

“What? Why?” His eyes narrowed in suspicion and I shrugged.

“No reason.” I said shortly. I could physically feel his irritation build. 

“Areum....” He began , voice holding a note of warning but I refused to back down.

“Literally anyone can visit your gym. You own the thing and you love offering discounts to everyone you meet...and yet somehow, I’m ‘ banned’. Why?” I demanded.

“Because I don’t want you there...That’s a good enough reason for me.” He snapped back and I clenched my fists harder. 

“Well, sucks for you. I’m gonna be there. On the front row. Let me see what’s so great about Jeon Jungkook in the ring that drives women wild...” I scoffed.

He stared at me for a second and then chuckled.

“Ahh..... so you just wanna watch me get wet and sweaty.... ? Understandable.”

I sneered. 

“You have been wet and sweaty on top of me enough times and trust me the novelty has long worn off.”  

He groaned.

“It genuinely feels like anytime I try to be halfway decent human being to you, you repay me by being as annoying as you can....” He said thoughtfully and I couldn’t say anything to that. 

i flinched when his hand reached out, moving to my knees and squeezing /lightly.

“What are you doing?” I frowned slapping at his fingers and he merely moved his hand higher up my thigh. I flinched when he squeezed again.  

“The only time you’re remotely bearable is when I’m touching you....So I’m gonna keep my hand here...” He gave me a smug grin, eyes practically dancing with mirth and I grimaced. 

“I’m still going to come. I want to.” I said firmly. 

He didn’t argue further.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Much to my surprise , I slept away the better part of the day, buried in Jungkook’s soft white sheets , head pillowed in the dozen fluffy throws he kept around. It was vaguely arousing that someone so intensely masculine like Jungkook preferred a comfortable , soft toned bedroom. The sheets smelled exactly like him, a fresh citrusy scent that managed to be soothing and sweet and yet somehow seductively warm as well. 

I woke up to fingers in my hair, lightly stroking. The room was dim, a little bit of light from the streets spilling in through the gaps between the curtains. 

“Areum.... It’s almost eight.... I’m gonna order us something for dinner... You wanna wake up now?” 

His voice. Fuck. 

I rolled over , groggy and disoriented. My eyes took in the splendor that was Jeon Jungkook, taking in the fact that he was only wearing grey sweatpants . I stared at the smooth expanse of his chest, feeling arousal bloom , slow and steady all over me. 

“I wanna suck you off...” I croaked out before I could fully filter my own thoughts.

Jungkook chuckled a bit at that. 

“I’m not gonna say no to that, but why don’t you take a shower and wake up fully.

I shook my head.

“ Let’s get messy first..... we can shower later...” I whined, still blinking and he groaned, slipping into the bed with me, under the covers, grabbing me by the waist and lifting me up till I was on him, my chin resting on his chest as I stared at his beautiful face. 

 What am I doing here? Where is this leading?

“I’ve never seen you like this. “ He commented mildly.

“Like what?”

“Sleepy and horny....Usually you‘re just angry and horny.” 

I shook my head. 

 “I should go.” I said hesitantly.. Jungkook didn’t respond for a few seconds, merely staring at me with a blank look on his face. Then he gave me a slight squeeze around my waist and moved out from under me. .

“I can call you a cab...” He said simply, moving to get up off the bed again. I felt something jump in my throat . It was unlike him to acquiesce so fast, and it was unlike us to just.... hang out without mutual orgasms thrown in the mix and somehow that felt like a change I wasn’t ready for. A bit of panic flashed through and I reached out blindly when he stood up, grabbing his waist and yanking him closer.

I looked up at him, scooting to the edge of the bed and kneeling till I was right in front of him. 

Eager to get things back to normal, I smiled and casually, pressed both my hands behind my back, looping my fingers together at the base of my spine. 

“Get those handcuffs.” 

Jungkook’s dick literally twitched in his pants and he swore.

“Fuck baby....” He grabbed my face roughly, crashing his lips over mine. I kissed back, almost desperate, trying to remember all the reasons why he annoyed me, why this was all we were to each other. A quick fuck, a quick lay, fuck buddies. that's what we were......

“Stay here. Stay right here...Don’t fucking move.” He pulled back and dove for his bed stand. I watched as he pulled out a silky black tie. 

I grinned when he nearly fell, scrambling up on the bed and pushing up behind me. He grabbed the hem of my blouse, yanking it up over my head before grabbing my wrists together again , tying them swiftly behind me. 

“Only you...” He whispered against the back of my neck. “ Only you can do this to me. Drive me wild with want just by fucking existing....” 

And then he was lying down near me, grabbing my waist and jostling me around till I was straddling his waist. It took me a second to orient myself I managed to steady myself, staring down at him in surprise. 

“ Seeing as you said you needed a break from my dick, how about you come sit on my face, today?” He smirked. 

I tested the give on my hands, before carefully leaning down to him

“Sure you have the lung capacity for this , Jeon?” I whispered, lips brushing his as I spoke. 

He responded by gripping my waist hard, easily lifting me up till i was straddling his shoulders. 

“I’m ready to drown in that sweet sweet honeypot, baby...” He winked and it was such a ridiculously bad joke that the laughter got wrenched out of me. 

And just like that , we were back to being us again. Or at least, that's what I convinced myself of. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR’S NOTE : TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THOUGHT ....I WANTED THIS TO BE JUST PORN BUT APPARTENTLY I CANT WRITE ANYTHING WITHOUT ANGST FML. 

Also requests open :) 

[40sbarnes]

Medici: Spymasters of Florence

Chapter 7: Gone For A Swim

Part seven! Sorry it’s a little late, I might edit it slightly in the morning I just wanted to post it! (Please excuse any typos!)

Also wanted to say tysm for all the support on previous parts! It’s really inspiring and it’s so overwhelming to see that people actually enjoy my work!

tw; mentions of blood

Parings; lorenzo x reader, (friends) francesco x reader

Tag list; @brynthebulldozer @mythicalamphitrite @nana035 @valravnsraven

Also credit to @heyrowena for making the cover pic for this chapter!!! It looks so profesional I’m in love anyways..,

The splash of the water quickly faded in with the rain pouring down onto the crashing waves. You remained at the end of the dock for a moment, studying the water, as if your victim would be reanimated by the water, and come back for revenge. Contrary to your imagination however, the rocks you'd desperately shoved into his clothing had been effective.

You took another deep breath to steady yourself. You were still soaked in his blood, although it was almost dried now, even beginning to flake on your skin. You had considered the thought of washing up by the ocean but you decided it was best to flee the scene while you still had the chance. It had to be just midnight, and the possibility of some drunkard seeing you wasn't null. Not to mention the literal blood trail leading to you. You had to think quickly, you didn't know whether someone would come looking for him, or if somebody already was. The Pazzi home was so close by, and you knew you could always seek refuge there, Francesco would never turn you away, but turning up at this hour, covered in blood, minutes after their messenger left, they'd have connected the dots by the morning, and you'd be joining the messenger by noon.

You considered just going home. It was your first instinct, but it was too far. You'd have to cross half the city, not to mention how most of your neighbours would be up at this hour. And the minute Pazzi started looking for information on tonight, they'd all be telling tales for the reward. There wasn't a real sense of community there. You knew a handful of holes in the wall within the city that you could hide out in, but you'd run into the same problem again.

There was one place you could go. It wasn't too far and you could dance around the outside of the city to reach it. It had decent security, sure you knew how to sneak by it but hopefully others couldn't. If anyone happens to track you back there, it wouldn't be an awful shock that it was to the Medici home, and it definitely wouldn't point them in the direction of y/n Bellondini. You began heading there, Lorenzo wouldn't be home anyways, he had made it painfully obvious he was going to Lucrezia tonight. You would have until morning to clean up and rest, and you could explain it to him then, when you had perfected your story.

This has all gotten so terribly out of hand so quickly. You were supposed to do a simple lift. Of a piece of parchment. How did it all go so wrong? You gritted your teeth as a steady stream of tears made their way down your cheek, slipping through the cracks in the blood.

You pulled your cloak tighter around your body, feeling the night as the adrenaline wore off and guilt crept in.

That man had thought he was making a simple delivery. He worked for the Pazzi's exactly as you did. Conversed with Francesco as you did. You wondered how close they were. If Francesco would grieve him. You took some solace in that you had only seen him in the courtyard the once. Although it's not as if you often crossed paths with other Pazzi spies. You didn't have a weekly catch up to gossip about Jacopo's new hair style. How much easier life would be if you did. The simple thought was amusing, until you imagined the man at the bottom of the ocean giggling over your bosses ponytail.

You quickly pushed the thought out of your mind, watching as the Medici home came into your view. Each of your footsteps became precise, your tears stopped falling. You couldn't imagine your fate if you were dragged into Lorenzos office by guards, let alone appearing the way you did right now. It probably wouldn't even be Lorenzo, perhaps his mother or brother, who had no motive to not turn you over to the authorities. You steadied your breathing, you were just raising your own anxiety levels. You were well able to sneak in, you had done it before. No matter how much Lorenzo liked to tease you otherwise, you were a good spy. Such a good spy, you murdered another one. No. You didn't have the time for this now. You did what you had to do.

The grass softened your footsteps as you snuck through the gardens outside Lorenzo's window. There was no one about, what with it being midnight and lashing rain. You skipped across the paths to reach the stone walls, reaching up to grab one of the protruding ones. The wet cobble made it much more difficult to get a proper grip, but you were determined. The sky kept pelting down on you and you climbed, ignoring all thoughts of exhaustion and weakness, willing yourself on. It took you almost double the time it usually would, but you reached Lorenzo's window, and desperately pulled yourself up onto the sill.

You sat there for a moment, collecting your breath, shaking as the sky continued to open itself onto you, the wind feeling harsher at this height. After a few seconds passed, you moved to open the window before freezing to death. You peered into the room quickly, knowing Lorenzo was probably already with Lucrezia right now, but just having the instinct to check. It was dark inside, the only light coming from the fire crackling in the corner, but no one was there. Thank the lord. Your fingers curled around the window frame, attempting to pull it open as you always did, to find it wouldn't budge. You tried to look at it from the inside, unable to get a clear view. It must've been locked. All your effort, to sit on a window sill. You glanced back down at the ground, unsure if you had the effort to make your way back down. Where would you even go once you made it down? You just wanted to close your eyes, they were desperately trying to get you to do so, but you knew you couldn't. Your brain searched for a solution, but you didn't know what to do. You let your head rest against the window pane, your knees huddled into your chest, contemplating just smashing the glass and praying for Lorenzo's forgiveness later. But that would make an awful loud noise... you were running out of options. Your eyes fluttered closed, you knew you couldn't fall asleep here, but you couldn't hold out any longer. A glimmer of light forced your eyes open. They focused on the door opening within the room, Lorenzo had entered. He quickly grabbed something off the desk, clearly having forgotten it, before going to head back out. Your initial instinct was to hide, to not let him know you had failed so badly, but you knew it wasn’t an option right now. You couldn’t choose your pride over your life. You mustered all your energy to knock measly on the glass. Lorenzo froze in his tracks, unsure of what he heard, until you knocked again, this time with more force. He turned, and saw you sitting on his window. He closed the door instantly, shocked, and crossed the room to unlock the window. You tried to move to climb in, his arms moving to your waist to lift you in as you did.

You fell inside, straight into Lorenzo’s hold as he helped you, your hood falling as you burrowed your forehead into him, both of you kneeling on the ground by the window, the rain trickling in. It was as if you crumbled completely beneath his touch. Finally feeling safe enough to do so. You forced yourself not to let any more tears fall, already feeling weak enough. Lorenzo simply held you for a few moments, as if he could feel how badly you needed it.

You pulled back, Lorenzo still holding your arms, “What happened?” He took in your state fully.

“I’m sorry,” you instantly began with, not looking into his eyes, “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Y/n,” his hands moved to hold your face instead, forcing you to meet his gaze, “where are you hurt?” His eyes scanned your blood-covered body, looking for a wound he wouldn’t find.

“It’s-“ You sighed, watching as he continued his search, lifting your hand to sit atop his on your cheek, “it’s not my blood.”

Lorenzo froze, staring at the floor beside you, deep in thought. “Good,” his eyes flashed back to yours, as he gave you a flicker of a smile, “what did you do?” His voice had lost any hint of softness, and you remembered who you were dealing with.

“The messenger...” you chose your words carefully, “attacked me,” you lifted your chin to the ceiling, hoping the choke mark was still visible beneath all the blood. Lorenzo’s hands fell to your sides. “I had no choice,” you croaked out, your mind taunting you with the thought of whether or not that was the truth.

Lorenzo stood up, turning away from you, uncharacteristically quiet. “You killed him?” He asked, peering over his shoulder to gage your reaction. You nodded ever so slightly, dropping your head afterwards, as if you were hearing the news yourself for the first time.

Lorenzo’s footsteps padded across the oak floors, until you heard the door creak open. He’d left you. He was going to tell everyone. You shouldn’t of trusted him. You spun to face the window, the rain pouring down even stronger than before. There was no way you made that trip safely. What did you do?

The door opened again, and Lorenzo was back, with a bowl in his hands. Your eyebrows furrowed, he hadn’t gone to yell your crimes to all of Florence? He set the bowl down beside you, before kneeling in front of you. Without a word, he reached into the dish, which you could now see held water, and pulled out a piece of cloth. He rinsed it, letting the majority of the water drip back in, before lifting the fabric to your face, gently prodding at the blood. You despised how you leaned into his touch. His other hand positioned itself under your chin to hold you steady. You closed your eyes, not being able to look at him. This was certainly not what you expected from him. The soft crackling of the fire was the only noise in the room for a few moments.

“I got it,” you spoke up, desperate for him to not view you as a complete failure.

“Hmm?” He stayed focused on washing your face.

“The message,” you reached to retrieve it to give it to him.

“Thank you,” he took it from you and placed it behind him. His lack of interest almost offended you, but you caught yourself, as he refreshened the cloth in the water.

“Where is he... now?” Lorenzo questioned tenderly.

“Swimming,” you replied instantly, your voice steady as you kicked his lifeless body off the dock all over again. Lorenzo let out a light chuckle, before moving down to dab at your neck. You winced without thinking.

“Sorry,” his movements became much more gentle, you couldn’t believe how he was acting so kind.

“It’s fine,” you assured him, tipping your head back slightly to make his job easier. You readied yourself now, willing yourself not to flinch. And you didn’t.

“No one saw you?”

“No one.”

There wasn’t much to clean after that. It was all over your dress and cloak, but on your actual skin there was just your arms left. He brought your hands into the bowl to clean them, both of your attention being brought to his ring which you still stupidly hadn’t taken off. You gently took the rag off of him, finishing rinsing your hands. He smiled, although there was no happiness in his eyes. He got up once again, heading for his wardrobe, pulling out one of his undershirts.

“I’ll get you something proper in the morning, but you can sleep in this,” he passed the garment to you.

“Thank you,” you graciously took it from him. You knew he had to do all this, so he wouldn’t suffer the consequences when people found out who you were working for, but he didn’t have the usual bitterness he carried around you. It was strange, but you invited it. He picked up the bowl off the floor as you slipped your cloak off, moving it to his desk, turning away from you. “Two nights now in my room, y/n, people will begin to talk,” he teased, still looking away from you. You took the opportunity to change, although Lorenzo didn’t face back until you spoke.

You moved past his comment. “What of my clothes?”

Spinning to meet your gaze, he took the aforementioned clothes from where you’d dropped them on the floor. “I hope they weren’t your favourite,” he huffed before tossing them into the fire. You watched as the flames struggled to catch them, until they were fully engulfed.

“Get some rest,” Lorenzo tilted his head to the bed.

“I really am sorry,” you promised him, he had been too kind to you, you didn’t trust it, you had expected a far harsher reception.

“It’s as you said, you had no choice. We’ll talk more tomorrow. For now, rest.” He spoke calmly.

You just nodded in gratitude, climbing into the soft sheets for a second night, your mind wandering as soon your head hit the pillow. You wondered if he was just rushing you so he could go meet up with Lucrezia already. You had certainly made him late. Or if he was waiting to suffocate you in your sleep. You shouldn’t of slept either way, but you couldn’t help it. Exhaustion was too quick to take over, your body desperate for a moment of relaxation.

In your last moments of consciousness you wondered how long it would take before Lorenzo left you, rushing to Lucrezia, choosing her. Although, it didn’t take him any time, as he didn’t do it. He stayed there, sitting on the same chair as the night before, all night. He chose you.

[mcwriting]

Starstruck (9)

hello it’s me again. Second to last chapter :( but I’ve got bigger things in the works

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Fandom: Tom Holland

Ship: Tom x reader

Setting: LA, London

Word Count: 2230

Warnings: mild language

Rating: K+

                            __________________________________

Tom dodged cameras and wove through crowds as he made his way through London Heathrow Airport.

He finally was home in London, but only for about a week since he’d be coming back to LA for you.

The news had obviously broken that Tom had left South Korea, so now he was being bombarded with paparazzi who still wanted to know everything about you, especially your speech four days prior.

He continued to ignore them as he got to where Tuwaine was waiting to pick them up.

The car doors slammed shut as all four boys settled themselves in, Harrison up front and the Hollands in the back. Tuwaine locked the doors, then turned around.

“Seems like we’ve got a lot to talk about, boys.”

“You have noooo idea,” Tom muttered as the others nodded eagerly.

The drive back to their south London house was comfortable to Tom after everything that had happened. They mostly strayed from talking about you in the car, instead sharing funny stories from the long-lived press tour. 

Sam decided to head back to his parents’ house after they arrived at the other boys’, ringing up an uber. He just wanted to sleep in his own bed. Their parents and Paddy had come home from the premiere before Tom went to Korea.

Once the boys were showered off and settled in, they told Tuwaine everything from the pre-release press tour before the premiere to meeting you to everything since. 

“That’s mad, Tom. So when are you going back? And how do you plan on going unseen?” Tuwaine asked.

“Well we’re gonna get back to LA on Thursday to have time to adjust again and get everything settled. I’ve paid for a couple private planes to keep things off the radar as best as I can. All of you can come if you want.”

After further discussion, they decided for only Harrison and Harry to join Tom since the others had prior commitments. 

After a couple more hours of catching up and reflecting on the past weeks, everyone finally decided to retire to their beds and hopefully get some rest.

As Tom layed down, he thought about the plan to see you again. He was nervous and excited at the same time, and went to sleep thinking one thing.

I’m coming to get ya, y/n.

                             __________________________________

As always, news of Tom’s travel back home was all over the internet with clips and pictures of him dodging through the airport being shared, you of course being tagged in those pictures by fan accounts wanting attention.

“Ughhhh I’m so tired of people tagging me in this shit like I actually care! I’m not even remotely involved in these pictures!” you exclaimed to b/f/n, who was sprawled on your bean bag chair as you laid on your stomach across a rug. 

You showed her a fan edit of Tom someone tagged you in, which was just a video transitioning between pictures of him from his press tour.

“I know. It’s so dumb like, he’s even likely to see stuff if you just pester his friends, or in your case… whatever you guys are.”

“Give me a break. We’re nothing. We just met and yeah. That’s all there is to it.”

“I don’t buy it, but whatever. I need to use your charger.”

You pointed to the bed.

“It’s over on the other side if you want it.”

B/f/n sighed dramatically, then rolled her way off the bean bag to flop onto your bed, plugging the device in. After a few minutes of silent scrolling on your phones, she piped up.

“Yo. Why does your bed smell so good? New detergent or something?”

You blushed, realizing you never told her about that little detail.

“Uh, well. It’s cologne.”

She turned her head to look directly at you, eyebrows raised cheekily.

“And why do you have cologne on your bedsheets?”

You avoided looking directly at her for a second, cringing a little.

“Well… I may have kind of left out the part of the story where Tom gave me a whole bottle of his cologne and it smelled really good so I sprayed it all over my sheets… but like no biggie right?”

She sat up.

“Yes biggie! You know exactly what Tom Holland smells like and didn’t think to tell me?”

“I forgot about it until the other day when I found the bottle in a bag of my stuff. Didn’t seem important.”

“Okay, if it’s not important, then why did you douse your bed in his scent?”

“I told you, I think it smells good. That’s it.”

“You’re really going to sit there and try to convince me of that? Everyone knows that scent memory is a really big deal, not to mention that he literally gave it to you.”

You stared each other down for almost a minute before you cracked.

“Okay, fine. It helps me sleep, alright? It takes me back to the night he spent here, which honestly was one of the best nights of my life. It just felt so nice talking to him about vulnerable things, you know? At the time I thought I could trust him, and maybe a part of me wants to remember that side of him.”

B/f/n nodded as you finished.

“I get it. What he did sucks, but you can’t let that ruin the good memories you do have. Things will work themselves out. They always do. You just need to remember that you’re a boss bitch and no matter what happens, you’re gonna be alright.”

“Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”

“Anytime. Now let’s forget about him and figure out where we want to get our nails done next week.”

                             __________________________________

It was now Tuesday, and you and b/f/n sat in adjacent pedicure chairs, trying to lean back peacefully as yours vibrated violently in the name of a “massage.”

After you both struggled to not laugh while the nail techs exfoliated your feet, you were now relaxed and still as they began to actually polish your toenails.

You looked over to see b/f/n smiling at her phone.

“Who’s got you acting up?” you asked. She looked up in surprise.

“It’s no one. Catherine just sent me something funny on Instagram.”

“Oh, okay. Send it to me.”

In reality, she had been talking to Harrison and Tom about Friday, sending them pics of you in your dress the prior week and learning of their plans to get to LA on Thursday morning. 

To cover for herself, though, b/f/n scrolled through her dm’s with Catherine, looking for something she’d received but never sent to you.

                             __________________________________

Wednesday in London, Tom, Harrison, and Harry sat around the dining room recapping the plan for the rest of the week.

“Okay, so we’re gonna get there pretty early tomorrow morning and then I arranged for us to stay at an AirBnb under b/f/n’s name but obviously I’m paying for it. Since none of us are 25, I couldn’t get a regular rental car, but I talked to Audi and they said they’d loan me another car as long as we post some pictures with it.”

“Won’t that defeat the purpose of laying low if we’re plastering our faces with the car online? It won't be hard to distinguish London from pretty much anywhere else,” Harry claimed.

“They said as long as we get the pictures up before we leave town, we’re good. We’ll just have to put it in the calendar so I don’t forget.”

Harry took that as his cue to put it in the calendar right then.

“What about the actual event? I know you said you got in touch with them,” Harrison brought up.

“I’m glad you asked, mate. They were down for letting us make our appearance a surprise, so they’ll have staff sneak us in the back and wait until b/f/n gives us the go-ahead. They’re gonna introduce me and I’ll give a quick word and then… hopefully y/n will let me talk to her.”

The group got everything in order and loaded their bags into Tuwaine’s car once again for him to drive them to the private jet hangars.

After saying their goodbyes again and loading up onto the plane, the boys were in the air, headed west. They would be stopping in New York to change planes, and got comfortable for the almost 8 hour flight.

By the time they got to New York, the boys were exhausted going through customs. They were happy to find that so far no one had seemed to leak the fact that they had left London and were now in the states.

They boarded the next plane and prepared for the 6 hour flight, this time planning to get sleep as it was overnight and they’d be arriving in the morning.

The sun was beginning to rise over Los Angeles as the plane touched down.

“Tom, we’re here,” Harry said, shaking his brother awake as the plane taxied. 

Tom blinked his eyes a few times to adjust to the light, looking out the window. 

The boys deplaned on the tarmac and sat tiredly in the small airport’s lobby as they waited for someone to drop off the car. 

Tom noticed one woman at the desk looking over at him frequently. He was afraid she would end up putting him all over the internet, so he got up and came to the desk.

“Hi there.”

She looked at him, startled.

“Um, hello.”

“I couldn’t help but notice you looking over at us. Would you happen to be a fan?” Tom asked politely. She blushed.

“Yes, actually, I am.”

“Would you like a picture?” Tom offered. He knew he looked horrible from his long journey but needed to know she wouldn’t go around telling everyone about meeting him.

“That would be incredible! I was too afraid to ask.”

Tom called Harry over to take the picture on her phone, then took it from the younger brother. Tom noticed Harrison carrying a couple bags out the door to a car.

“That’s a good one! I only ask that you try to keep this to yourself? At least until tomorrow evening? I’m on a bit of a secret mission, and I don’t quite want the public to know I’m here, yet.” 

The girl’s eyes widened.

“Of course! I’d hate to ruin anything for you.”

“Awesome, thank you so much. And it was quite lovely meeting you, I look forward to seeing those pictures again one day.”

With that, Tom was out the door and on his way to the spot they had rented out for the trip.

                             __________________________________

B/f/n woke up Thursday to work out again and saw there was an Instagram notification on her lock screen. It was Harrison (or maybe Tom, who knew who she was actually talking to).

We made it to the AirBnb. Thanks again for putting it under your name.

She saw it had been sent about an hour prior, so she replied.

No worries. I haven’t seen anything online about you being in the US, so it seems like you’re good so far

We’ll try to keep a low profile. We’re mostly trying to adjust to the time again so Tom isn’t falling asleep at the formal tomorrow night

B/f/n snorted. She figured it really was Harrison that she was talking to.

At the boy’s rented house, they were sitting around drinking black coffee to stay awake for the day. Eventually, they ran outside and took pictures with the car, being careful to watch that no one was looking at them.

As the morning went on, they quickly came to an unfortunate realization.

There was no food in the house, and they couldn’t just go out and get it. Delivery wasn’t the best bet either considering someone would have to answer the door.

So with stomachs growling, they messaged b/f/n again, asking her to pick up some groceries to hold them over for the day.

You’re lucky I’m not with y/n right now. Just send me a list and I’ll bring it over asap

It took her over an hour to get to the store, find everything on the list, and take it to the house. Her stomach fluttered when she pulled into the driveway as she was finally meeting her idol for real.

The door swung open before she could knock.

“Oh thank God you’re finally here, I’m starving,” Harrison said , taking the bags from her hands. “Come in, come in. Don’t need anyone seeing us.”

She stepped in the door to find the other two sitting on the couch. They greeted her starstruck self. 

“Oh, wow. Hi. It’s nice to finally meet you in person,” she eventually spit out, looking at them in amazement.

She ended up spending almost an hour conversing with them, Tom paying her back for the groceries and them finalizing the details for the upcoming day.

She stood in the doorway preparing to leave.

“Well, I’ll see you all tomorrow. I don’t know what she’ll do, but good luck either way.”

“Thanks, b/f/n, that means a lot. And thanks for all the help you’ve been. Without you, I don’t know what I would have done.”

                            __________________________________

A/N: honestly I’m kinda sad that this is almost over. I started it over a year ago now and I’ve really enjoyed writing it. Hopefully I’ll put out the last chapter next week and then will begin scheduling “the marriage project.” Love you guys!

TAG LIST: @marvel-lously, @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @dreamyvans, @lisannehus, @honeymoonpeter, @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven, @chenellearose, @photoshopart15, @parkeret, @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch, @racewife2004, @joyleenl

To be added to my story or permanent tag list, pls send a message or ask

[dolanswhore]

NSFW Alphabet ➸ Ethan Dolan

Warning: Implied Smut

Aftercare:

Ethan is always down to cuddle, it’s no surprise that after sex you’re wrapped up in his arms right away

he’s so sweet, always asking if you’re okay, if something does hurt, and some days running you a bath after, of course he would join as well

Body Part:

E loves his arms the most, he’s been working out with Gray lately, and is noticing the how they’re starting to swell

ETHAN IS 100% AN ASS MAN, like it doesn’t matter what the two of you are doing, swimming or even cooking his hand is always on the booty.

Cum:

Ethan was a little shy with you at first, he didnt want to be weird if he asked you if he could cum in you without any protection, he at least wanted to make sure you were on the pill

Usually hes cumming inside of you

His second choice being your face, after a while he wouldn’t ask just pull at your shoulder, placing you in front of him on your knees, watching as his spruts on cum cover your face. You just looked so pretty with him all over you, he would sometimes take pics of it

Dirty Secret:

Ethan is definitely down for being called daddy and having his baby girl take care of him or bossing her around of course

Pictures, ethan is quite of fan of pictures, he likes looking at them and taking them, so you could be mid-sex and hes pulling his camera out to take pictures of you with him inside, your butt, face ans especially you covered in his cum

also he really liked when you dress up, like for holidays and etc. Like a cute little red slip on with white fur for Christmas or a cute little school girl outfit it drives him nuts

Experience:

Ethan had little experience when it came to sex. Hes only had sex a few times, and was really neverous bc he never had sex with someone he really really liked.

You better believed he would watch videos for research of course, not wanting to mess up anything with you.

Favourite position:

Baby boy likes you on his hands and knees, legs spread, pussy begging for him. He always liked just watching you, so needy for him, trying to calm the throb between your thighs by squeezing them together, he’d stop you though, placing his thick, tattooed thigh between your yours, making you squeal softly at the feeling of his bare thigh against your clit. (JUST LIKE GRAY)

Goofy:

Ethan is soo goofy. Clothes would be coming off flying across the room and knock something over. He will laugh for hours

Or he usually is his clumsy self and falls or stubs his toe on the way there. but he’ll laugh his ass of the whole time.

Hair:

Ethan keeps it clean, and trimmed, he’s not exactly hairless, he likes a little more hair then someone would usually for.

Intimacy:

Baby boy is such a romantic, always telling you how beautiful you are, how much he appreciates you.

Especially in the bed room, on special days roses on the bed, and warm baths, if you’re not feeling the best about yourself, he’ll kiss every body part he loves, which is everything.

Jack off:

Being the teenage he is, hes always horny so when you're not around he handles it himself.

Kink:

Def likes being bossed around

But He also has a dom kink, he loves bossing you around, making you wait, having you beg for him.

Ethan definitely has a praise kink, he loves when you tell him how good he feels or how food hes doing.

Location:

He would prefer inside

But loves to fuck you in his new jeep, doors and roof of in the middle of no where

Motivation:

Literally anything.

It could be wearing his clothes (just a tee just like he loves)

having wet hair

He really likes when you wear thigh high socks

No:

Like grayson, Ethan would never do anything to degrade you. It was an absolute no with him.

If it made you feel uncomfortable he wouldn’t do it, he’d always ask first, being respectful of what you want.

Oral:

Ethan loves blow jobs in all, but there something about eating you out that drives him crazy. Just the way you moan and say his name, or try moving up the bed, only to have him wrap his strong arms around your legs, holding you securely.

Pace:

Depends on the day. One minute he could be fine, but he gets pissed and will fuck you for it. Not hurting you, but def rough and choking

But then there’s the days where he just misses you, or just has a bad day, and pulls you on top, allowing you to move slowly on him, pressing soft kisses against your shoulders and between your breast, just war shipping you.

Quickie:

Ethan always wants sex and if he knows he can get one way with it hes whispering in your ear telling you to meet him in a few minutes.

Quickies are usually a must when it comes to grayson being home, e loves to take his time on you but when he does you're so loud.

Risks:

Leaving his marks on you, he take risks in leaving pretty purple marks on your neck and shoulder and off course you’d cover them anyways.

Touching you in public, whether it's a ass slap or fingers running over you pants or panties hes always doingit

Stamina:

Ethan can go rounds of course with little breaks but as soon as he sees you naked, spread out, covered in his cum gasping from air from moments before hes ready

Toy:

At first ethan wasnt sure about them. He never used them tbh

But then you got hand cuffs and from there it went on. You two often tried every thing before knowing it

Unfair:

With him being busy all the time, it was hard to find time to have sex, and when you did see each other, it was just cuddling and holding most of the time.

This would lead to him texting you sometimes, "I wanna fuck you so bad pumpkin."

He would ask for pictures and screen shot them and add them to his private collection.

Volume:

E isquit vocal, grunting, moaning, small words of whispers, he tried his best to hold it in, but always failed.

Wild Card:

Ethan gets really jealous easily

And hes really protective

So imagine you aren't answer him bc you're studying with your friend at your house

Ethan would get fed up and go to your house

He'd be so pissed that you didnt mention the fact it was a boy and how you weren't answering him

But glad when he talk through your front door to see both of you sitting across from each other at the kitchen island, silent and writing

Hed be pissed for a few days

X-Ray:

PACKING, DON’T @ ME BUT HE’S FUCKING HUGE

Yearning

sex drive is high, he’s always touching you, asking you to touch him, kiss him, make him feel good.

E can literally have sex every hour of the day

zZz:

He would be tired of course, but would wrap his arms around you, pressing your naked bodies together. His hand would play with the soft ringlets of hair scattered along your back and press a kiss to your forehead.

[ombreecha]

Too Good

Series: Endurance Fandom: Naruto Pairing: SasuSaku Rated: M Prompt: my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick AU Notes: I’ve literally been saving this prompt since like September of last year. The first time I saw it I just fuckin knew I had to do it at some point. You can thank @kingofthesharingan​ and my weekly NSFW Monday too because Monday sucks so why not make it a day to look forward to.

Chilled air, and puffs of white coat everything in sight. Her hands are gloved but that doesn’t stop her from rubbing them together to provide herself with more heat. Christmas is around the corner and the company party is even closer. It’s her first time attending. Anxious? Absolutely. Scared? Beyond her wildest dreams.

Her seniority with the company wasn’t high. Six months she’s been employed by Uchiha Corp, and it’s been a blessing if anything. Her boss is a lovely woman. When she had been interviewed the woman had held such stiff air about her. Poised. Serious. Collected.

Mikoto Uchiha was anything but stiff, serious—let alone collected. They couldn’t be further from the truth. Now as for poised? Absolutely. The woman had some serious elegance to her. It made it perfectly clear that she had been breed for such things. She can’t help but look up to this woman who had so much on her plate, and still managed to be kind, charismatic, and loving.

What she hadn’t expected though was how much her boss had begun to push. What was her boss pushing? How perfect her son was for her. There’s a burn upon her ears. Every time she brings this boy up she can’t help but feel embarrassed. There’s no doubt that Mikoto had probably raised a wonderful son—but she’s not entirely sure about anyone born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

That’s not even bringing for the possible conflict of interest that lies in such relationships. She likes her job. The last thing she needs is for it to be ripped out from under her all over some rich kid who may or may not be attractive.

She’s not doubting Mikoto’s genes—but she just can’t help but be skeptical. There is such a thing as too good to be true.

The commute home isn’t long and the only positive is the subway is heated. The rock of the train car isn’t bad. It’s become a part of her daily life, and while at first she had struggled when she moved her it’s barely even felt. All she knows is she needs a good night rest before she attends this company party—and meets this all too talked about son.

There’s a thick swallow and a groan as she remembers her bosses teasing. She had supposedly spoken just as much about her to him as well. There’s no way he wasn’t dreading this as much as herself. Hopefully. Okay. So, she’s not so sure. She’s heard a lot but that doesn’t mean she knows anything about this kid outside of the boasts coming from an obviously proud mother.

A groan escapes her lips as she peels her heels off her feet and leaves them scattered about in the entry way. Her bag hits the floor not far behind as she seeks to get herself relaxed and comfortable. Swapping from suit to a night shirt she’s dug from the bottom drawer is easily done. A bowl of ice cream, and some television is just the right combination to washing away the office tension from her shoulders.

A hum, and a flicker through channels as she lays upon the couch as unladylike as possible. If only her boss could see her now. Yeah—her boss has probably painted her as so much more than she really was. Fingers roll through her hair before swiping her phone right off coffee table. That thought right there has brought back the tension in full force. Groaning is all she can do as she flips through the screen.

Swinging her leg over the other she can’t stop the habitual light motion that follows. There’s always one way to get herself relaxed and she’s not afraid to use it. Puffing her cheeks she’s tapping away at the keyboard. The individual she’s texting would most likely fall into the category of a one night stand. It had been just the fix she had needed months ago. Work was at an all time high in the stress department had the time and one thing lead to another—she had ended up in a bar for a quick drink before heading home when he had run into her at the counter.

No names exchanged. Just clothes hitting the floor and him pressing her against her bed. Her mother taught her better sure, but sometimes a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. It had been exciting. Sloppy, and intoxicated, as well, but exciting nonetheless. Humming is all she can do as she thinks back to that moment. They hadn’t met back up since that first time. They still refrained from exchanging names, but what they did exchange was numbers. Once in a while she’ll shoot him a text requesting a simple picture because that’s what gets her through the stress at work anymore.

She says it’s simple, but never in her wildest dreams would she had thought this boy would comply. —and he does every single time. No questions asked.

It’s an odd little arrangement, if she’s being honest, considering the lack of personal information, but she’s not complaining. It keeps things from being messy and god knows she’ll probably never run into him again unless they set it up. All of this is good enough for her.

So when her phone goes off there’s the smallest of smiles spreading across his face. It had been more than good and maybe that’s what had pushed her to ask for it the first time, and the time after that—and that’s whats gotten her brazen enough to ask for it whenever she’s needing some alone time.

Dick pics weren’t exactly something she was notorious for requesting. —but she’d be damned if she didn’t ask him for one once in a while.

That quick look over and she’s feeling warm. It’s not hard to just think of the way his hands had gone over her skin, or how his breath had been right against her ear before he made his way down.  Sliding his fingers upon her stomach and then wrapping around the around the band of her panties he had tugged them up at first which she hadn’t been prepared for, and then in only another moment—a second—she could feel his tongue going over the fabric and against where she wanted him most. The tug upon them had her hips lifting to give him an easier time to remove them. Lips against her thigh and the way he slid them down her legs had her panting.

He hadn’t been shy when he had thrown them behind him and across the room. All of this is vivid and she’s already accepted it’ll be a long time coming before she’ll stop using that one night as her primary masturbation material. That’s all she has to tell herself when she’s dipped her own hand underneath her panties.

Her fingers can’t possibly replicate the way his tongue had dipped in between her folds, nor could they give the exact same feeling that came with he had slid it over her clit. It’ll do though—she doesn’t need much. The buck of her hips is all too remembered. He had slide his hands up her sides and pressed his hands flat against her pelvis to keep her steady as he continue to have his fill of her.

Her neck stretches back letting her head roll against the couch cushion. Lips open and a moan escapes her as she starts with one finger working herself slow and evenly. It wasn’t as frenzied as he had been. Starved is what she would of considered him in that moment. Sliding her tongue against the roof of her mouth is barely noted as she takes another glance upon the requested picture of the night.

It’s got her hot and ready as she thinks of how it had slide inside of her. That first initial penetration was always the most satisfying. Filling her up, and with her leg draped over his shoulder. He wasn’t loud but those hot breaths back upon her skin had been more than enough. He spoke on grunts and the occasional groan as he started out slow.

Adding another finger doesn’t do him justice but she, just as with everything else, had accepted she would never be able to replicate the way he had felt. None of that stops her from enjoying what she’s doing to herself nonetheless. When she quickens her fingers pace she’s arching and letting out hot breaths. She’s enjoying herself far too much—thank god for this man and his dick pictures.

The release she feels is bittersweet to a point. It’s explosive because she’s picturing him slamming into her and nibbling upon her ear, and then it’s over all too soon. The way she rolls her head back as she rides it out reminds her briefly of the fact her fingers are much too small compared to him literally filling her up and stretching her up. That thought right there has her riding it out longer before settling her hips down upon the couch.

Catching her breath she brings her hand from out of her underwear and swings herself forward. Clean up is quick and simple, and damn does she feel better. Who cares about the company party? She got off and that’s all she cares about in this moment before shutting the lights out and nestling into bed.

The next day isn’t bad. A shower, brushed teeth, and a small look within the mirror has her ready for whatever happens. All she’s gotta do is politely reject whoever her bosses son is. This little arrangement of hers is more than enough.

Heels click against the office floor and the filing of her paperwork is for the most part easily accomplished even if their filing system needs some serious work.  The occasional glance over her wrist watch comes as the clock ticks closer and closer to the company party.

The press of her finger hitting the final punch upon her time card for the week is oddly satisfying, and so as she follows behind others to one of their many large meeting spaces she can’t help but feel like all that anxiety had been for nothing. Scared? What’s there to be scared of?

Mingling is easy. She gets along with most of her coworkers and thankfully she’s yet to run into her boss let alone her son. The foods decent, and the drinks refreshing. She’d never drink heavily in front of her coworkers so she goes for the simple things like hard cider and sipping on water.

Just as she’s locked in a conversation with a boy of obsidian hair and one of the biggest smiles she’s ever seen fingers have made their way upon her shoulder. The turn of her head comes and there’s no surprise to be had when it’s her boss.

Smiling is easy especially with a woman like Mikoto before you. She brightened a room, and the smile she’s always got upon her own lips is contagious.

“Ah, Sakura-san I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” there’s the smallest of laughs and then a step back from her as she seeks to introduce someone behind her—no doubt the son.

“Sorry I hadn’t seen you with there being so many of us.” the smile she has is genuine and then as her eyes move see this highly praised son does it start to slip from her lips.

One moment, and then two. They’re just starting at each other—and for the love of god tell her she’s just seeing things. Tell her that this man before her isn’t the same man from months ago. Tell her that she’s lost her mind and that she’s obviously seeing things.

Those lips of his are tilting upon the corners and then there's the hooding of his eyes as they trail from her feet up to her eyes once again. He’s analyzing her as much as she is him—perhaps he doesn’t remember her. Maybe, just maybe, she’s the only one recognizing the situation at hand.

If you had told her, her one night stand would have been with her bosses son she would of laughed in your face.

Equally though if you had told her she’d been requesting dick pics from her bosses soon she would told you that only happened in those romance novels she had loved in college.

The swallow she makes is thick. Uncomfortable doesn’t even begin to describe this feeling in her chest.

“Sakura-san, are you okay?” there’s concern etched within the question.

Flickering her eyes from one pair of obsidian to the other and she’s plastering the fakest of customer service smiles upon her face. Working at a Starbucks part-time had served her well for moments like this.

“I’m perfectly fine.” she gives a nod of her head and then sets her eyes back upon this man she had literally just the night before masturbated to.

Those lips are shifting into the truest of smirks. He’s not letting it just rest upon the corners. His shoes are firm with each step and then with an ease and grace she can’t remember him having outside of the rough and exciting moments in bed so many months ago does he grab her hand and bring it up to his lips.

Her cheeks are warm and she wants to bury herself right here and right now. Anywhere but here would be an absolute blessing—but that’s not an option because god literally seems to be enjoying himself with this little stunt.

“My mother’s told me so much about you, Haruno Sakura-san.” he hasn’t let go of her hand, and he’s not released her eyes either.

There’s a hesitation and then the forceful removal of her eyes as her fingers grip upon her pencil skirt. If the earth would please just open up right here, and right now that would be amazing.  She’s not asking for a lot. Just a simple miracle in which she’s swallowed whole—and not exactly like she had been months ago by this man staring so smitten down at her.

“Likewise, Uchiha Sasuke-san.”

[meggannn]

i'm curious from a writer perspective of DA, is the world set up similar to that of D&D (Humans, Elves, etc co-exist but who's king?). I've never played the game and was trying to figure out what the worldscope was like in terms of who's in charge, the history, etc but it's kind of complicated and hard to pin down. Would you mind giving a little insight into the premise of DA on a larger scale?

i’m sorry this took so long to get back to you! what a neat question – I haven’t played D&D or actually really read too many classic fantasies aside from some Tamora Pierce novels, so I can’t speak about what’s usual, but yeah Dragon Age is a pretty “standard” high fantasy I guess in the sense that it’s got dwarves and elves and magic and it’s set in a middle age analogue.

i also need to apologize in advance for how long this got. the short answer is, Thedas is a hot mess, everyone hates each other, and nobody knows what’s going on.

RACES

okay, so, there are four main races:

human – most populous and influential. known for causing a lot of wars.

elves – in most parts of the continent they’re second-class citizens. many are servants; in Tevinter elves are mostly enslaved. if they live in cities, they probably live in an alienage, which is akin to a ghetto. there are large groups of elves called the Dalish, which are nomadic groups that live in the forests and try to keep their ancient culture alive.

dwaves – mostly live underground, but there are several surface dwaves that, as the name implies, live aboveground. they’re the only race that cannot be mages due to their high resistance to magic, which is based on their history of mining lyrium (basically like a magic rock that helps mages and mage hunters focus their power). dwaves have a sort of resistance to it so they’re the only ones who can mine it safely and therefore built their economy and major cities underground.

qunari – technically a religion, not a race, but they’re known for their stringent religion and for having large horns on their head.

CONTINENT

DA is set in a world called Thedas (which literally stands for The Dragon Age Setting, don’t ever let anyone tell you your ideas are stupid). here’s the map, so, pretty big (click here for a bigger version):

unfortunately bioware is lazy and they never gave us firm borders, so we have to make due with whatever this is

POLITICAL NATIONS (skip if you don’t care)

I’m not an expert and don’t have the energy right now to go super in depth about each of these nations’ conflicts with each other. there are roughly 9 countries in the above map (bottom - up): Ferelden, Orlais, Free Marches, Nevarra, Tevinter, Antiva, Rivain, Anderfels, Seheron/Par Vollen. not pictured: Orzammar/the Dwarven Kingdom

Ferelden and Orlais are the countries we know the most about because two games take place there (Dragon Age Origins and Dragon Age Inquisition). They both have monarchies. Ferelden has a king/queen, and Orlais has an emperor/empress. Orlais is also where the Divine lives, and the Divine (always a she) is the leader of the Chantry, the major religion (p much like magic Catholicism).

The Free Marches are a bunch of city-states, each of them ruled by a Viscount that’s elected by the nobles. Dragon Age 2 takes place in one of these cities, Kirkwall. one of the endings involves the playable character, Hawke, become the Viscount/Viscountess if they make certain choices. Post-Inquisition, one of the game’s companions ends up becoming Viscount.

Nevarra we don’t know much about. I believe they have royal dynasties. most monarchs are related/entwined with the military. one companion, Cassandra Pentaghast, is distantly in line for the throne.

The Anderfels are a bit of a wasteland. it’s called a kingdom but I gotta be honest, we know like a total of five characters from there so not much else info is available. It used to be part of the Tenvinter Imperium before the rebellion, but now it’s mostly known as being home to the Grey Wardens (see below).

Antiva is a plutocracy, so it’s ruled by the wealthy. there is technically a monarchy that’s been around for a couple thousand years, but it’s weak. the country is mostly ruled by “merchant princes” (not literal princes, just like bank owners and heads of trading companies, each have their own army, etc). they mostly resolve political disputes with bribes and assassins.

Rivain – tbh I don’t think I know enough about Rivain’s government. we know certain characters from Rivain, but according to the wiki they emphasize community welfare and I know they treat their mages better than the rest of the continent, where (apart from Tevinter) mages are largely locked up in towers for their entire lives.

the Tevinter Imperium is the only nation in the continent that’s a magocracy, or ruled by mages, and its economy is largely based off of slave labor (the majority of whom are elves, though I think they enslave some humans if I’m not mistaken). Tevinter’s leaders are called Magisters, and they are all part of the Magisterium. they are led by the Imperial Archon, which is usually inherited; otherwise known as the Black Divine, who is always male (more on that below).

Seheron belonged to the Tevinter Imperium for a long time, but it’s land that I think is still being fought over by a group called the Qunari. they currently maintain it, though it’s mostly native rebels that live there.

Par Vollen is the land of the Qunari. they’re really a religion, not a race, but most Qunari that you’ll see are horned giants. we know a lot about their culture from certain characters, but we’ve never seen it in person. in broad sense, the Qunari believe that every person has a certain role (you call people by their titles, eg “Sten”). they’re led by an Arishok which is like their highest ranking general and de facto spiritual leader.

(not pictured) Orzammar – underground, located in the Frostback Mountains (bottom of the pic, left of Ferelden. the last standing dwarven city. it’s like an underground metropolis based on a caste system.

HISTORY

so I don’t know if you’re asking for a long and detailed history, because if so I could be here all day, but in very broad strokes, here’s what’s going down

Elves: long ago they were the dominant race aboveground. they had their own empire in modern-day south Orlais (west of Ferelden), but now they’re treated like second-class citizens after their biggest city fell and they were plundered by Tevinter. then the Chantry came along and that took over.

Dwaves: they also had a massive kingdom underground that spanned most of the continent. these tunnels are known as the Deep Roads, and they still exist today, but they’re mostly collapsing and very dangerous.

Humans: Are kind of running the show now across all major nations. (they apparently aren’t even native to Thedas but arrived millennia ago on boats or something then took over. typical.)

THE BLIGHTS

the driving force of a major recurring conflict in this land is called a Blight, and the first Blight was responsible for the collapse of the dwarven empire. there’s a lot we don’t know about what exactly happened in the first Blight, we only have the Chantry version, and a lot of ppl in the world disagree about how they really got started, or what they even are. but here’s what “the story” behind them roughly is:

the Chantry says that Blights are punishments that the Maker (God) sends because the old Tevinter Magisters, once upon a time, used magic to enter the Golden City (Heaven, sort of). mages can enter a place called the Fade, which is like the magical space between fiction and reality that most people only access through dreaming. the old Magisters basically wanted to enter the Golden City and claim the Maker’s throne and become all-powerful gods and whatnot.

however! this was a bad idea, and so for punishment (or maybe just as a consequence of contaminating the sacred heart of the fade with their dirty human germs), the Maker turned all of those Magisters into monstrous things known as “darkspawn.”

darkspawn are like mindless zombies, sort of, except their primary objective is killing, not eating. what makes them darkspawn is the infection and spread of their tainted blood.

so after those magisters became darkspawn, they spread anything they came into contact with. any species can become tainted I think.

darkspawn are scattered and disorganized for the most part but you still see them here and then. most of the time, darkspawn stay underground in the Deep Roads wrecking mayhem (this is what caused the fall of the dwarven empire).

what a Blight is, though, is a massive swarm of darkspawn arriving to the surface and basically doing what they do, amped up to level 11. what causes a blight is when darkspawn find an Old God underground. the “Old Gods” are really just sleeping high dragons. (Tevinter used to worship these dragons.) there are seven old gods, so when the darkspawn find another of them underground, they infect it, it awakens and turns nasty and evil, and becomes an Archdemon, which leads the call for darkspawn to attack the surface. Archdemons are the sort of Big Boss that needs to be defeated to end each Blight, after which the darkspawn simmer down for a while until they find the next one.

the plot of Dragon Age Origins is the story of the Fifth Blight, which takes place in 9:30 Dragon (read that exactly like you would without colons, so “Year 930″)

TIMEKEEPING

timelines are currently measured by Chantry ages. the years before 1:1 are called “Ancient,” count backwards, and are basically like our BC. there’s no Year 0. the Ancient Age had the arrival of humans, the fall of the elves and the dwarven empire, and the first blight.

according to the wiki: “In the 99th year of each Age, the Divine looks for an event or portent in order to determine the name of the new Age. the last portent was a dragon awakening and going on a rampage, which suggested an age full of violence and destruction”

so dragons are a Big Deal because until this century, people thought they were extinct. except no…. there’s a blight, and an archdemon showed up. and oh look, dragons are appearing in Kirkwall too, and around Orlais. dragons are a symbol of chaos, basically, so the fact that this era is known as the Dragon Age signifies a lot of fighting/turmoil basically.

THE GAMES

Dragon Age Origins – the story of the Fifth Blight. you gather a bunch of companions and join the Grey Wardens (soldiers from all races who dedicate their lives specifically to fighting darkspawn) and become Big Damn Heroes.

Dragon Age II – the story of origin of the Mage Rebellion. you play as Hawke, a refugee who escaped the Blight looking for safe haven in a city in the Free Marches. you befriend several misfits and influence the political landscape that ultimately leads to mages across Southern Thedas rebelling against their captors.

Dragon Age Inquisition – the Mage Rebellions are wrecking havoc, Grey Wardens are disappearing, and at a would-be peace summit between the mages and their captors, the Divine gets blown up and now there’s a giant hole in the sky with demons falling out. you play as a random joe who wakes up one day with the power to seal up that hole, and together with a bunch of other well-meaning randos, you form the Inquisition to bring peace (I hope) back to the continent.

Dragon Age 4 – fuck it, but I hope we go to Tevinter. I’m tired of looking at Ferelden for two games. it’s far past time for an elven slave uprising, an old elven god is now trying to commit mass genocide and Thedas is still on fire, but no, Bioware’s focusing on fucking Anthem. we are suffering.

[codependentsamanddean]

5 years of Supernatural - How it changed my life

I was reading the Family Don’t End With Blood book, and I remembered that this week will be 5 years since I started watching SPN. Yes, I remember the day, it was July 15th, 2012. 

I thought that to celebrate this mark, I’d write my own story about how Supernatural has changed my life, inspired by the book. It probably will be long so I understand if you skip it lol.

I was looking for a new show to watch, I was currently following a handful of shows but I wanted something else. I knew about Supernatural because I was already on Tumblr even though I had only a personal blog where I reblogged random stuff and had like 100 followers or less. I saw gifsets from the show here and there, and I remember thinking “this show must be cool. It looks like these brotjhers have a nice bond”. Also, I have been a fan of Jared Padalecki ever since 2004 and I saw him in New York Minute, so it was another reason to try it. To sum it up, I watched 7 seasons (the show had only 7 seasons back then) in one month, and by the end of it I was addicted. 

Lemme just say something before I continue. I am that kind of person who becomes obsessed with something only to not give a single shit about it one month later. So I thought that what was gonna happen with SPN as well, I’d fall in love with it but it was gonna go away soon like everything that came before. But that wasn’t what happened. 

I got more and more in love with the show and those boys, tjhe story of those brothers. And if I already adored Jared, I started loving him even more, at the same time I got to know who was that gorgeous Jensen Ackles. I learned how special the relationship between them in real life was as well. My tumblr slowly became almost 100% Supernatural, and then one day I saw a blog made to spread the word that Jensen hated Jared. I got so fucking mad reading that, it was the turning point for me. That same day I created a new Tumblr, and the url was j2loveeachother. I wanted to show how the boys actually loved each other very much. I was into the show for about 4 months by then, and I already knew. And little did I know how the decision of making this Tumblr would change so much in my life.  

When I entered this place, this fandom, with this blog I felt instantly at home, like I belonged here. I have a lot of internet friends, I made some good friends back in 2008 because we were all fans of an American Idol winner, and we’re still friends to this day, almost 10 years later. So I enjoy meeting people online even though it sucks that most of the times we’re far away. 

In the beginning of 2013, a couple of months after making the blog, I was put in the same list as another SPN blog by one of my mutuals, as people who loved Sam. I followed that blog and me and the girl started messaging each other here on Tumblr. That was Karri. in about 10 days we “got married” on tumblr and became “wifeys”, which we still are today. We became close friends, the kind who talk almost everyday about things that go beyond the fandom. Other people were added to the equation and god I met so many amazing people. Some of them are long gone and that makes me sad not knowing what happened to them since they left their blogs behind. But new ones arrived and that’s the beauty of it. How many amazing people I met here, but it was sad that everyone was waaay too distant, specially since I live in Brazil and most people are in the US (Karri in California). I remember thinking, will we ever meet someday?

There was also the matter of going to a convention. I remember vividly one day, after Vegascon 2013, one of my mutuals posted a beautiful J2 op she took with them. I was starting to get familiar with conventions, and I remember looking at that pic and thinking “that is so fucking amazing, but I’ll never ever have that.” The cons were in the US and I am thousands of kilometers away, so no there was no way. And that made me so sad, because I really wanted to go, I wanted to be able to have that experience. I wanted to tell Jared how much I love him, how much he means to me, I wanted to be able to meet him face to face and also Jensen, it was so unfair that I wasn’t able to go if I loved the show and them so fucking much. 

In october of 2013, I had a dream. It was like one day after Chicon, a lot of tumblr girls had gone there, and I dreamed that Karri and I were there, and it was pretty amazing. I woke up feeling sad because it wasn’t real, and that night I told Karri this on Skype. I don’t know exactly how it started, but eventually we were like “what if we went to Chicon 2014?” I was gonna start working a couple months after that, I would have some money to go. She hasn’t been to any cons by then as well, so it would be the first time to both of us. We got excited with the prospect, we had one year to make that happen, to be at Chicon in october of 2014. She wanted to put a counter on our blogs right away but I didn’t want to jinx it, we literally had nothing. She did it anyway. I remember going to bed like “that’s almost impossible, I don’t think we’ll be able to pull it off.”

On October 22th of 2014, almost one year after that conversation, I boarded on a plane from São Paulo to Chicago for my first SPN convention. Remember how I wondered if I was ever gonna meet Karri?

remember how I thought, about one and a half year earlier, how I’d never have gorgeous J2 op like that one ever, and how unfair it was?

going to Chicon 2014 was so incredibly important to me for many reasons. I did something I thought I wasn’t gonna be able to, I set up a plan and step by step, I conquered it. I finally attended a SPN convention, which was even more amazing than I imagined. I told Jared in person how much I love him, I got to hug these two man and take this amazing picture, I couldn’t hold back my tears when I found my op among all the others and saw how perfect it was. I finally met Karri in person, which I thought was too hard and we had an amazing time together. I visited Chicago, which was one of my 3 dream cities. 

Leaving Illinois was hard. When Karri and I were on the train from Chicago to Rosemont on our last day, to catch our flights on a few hours, I lay my head on her shoulder and cried looking outside the window. I didn’t even know when I’d see her again and I was so incredibly sad it was all coming to an end. I arrived back home exactly one year after the conversation Karri and I had. I remember taking the lanyard out of my suitcase and crying so much. We had done it, and it was too incredible to even put into words. 

I thought that was going to be my only con. But later that year I knew that wouldn’t be possible. On New Year of 2015, I told Karri I wanted to attend a con in 2016, and she needed to come with me. We debated a lot where we should go, and I was convinced to go to a city I never imagined visiting, by two friends who I also wanted to meet. So in August of 2016, I boarded another plane to Minneapolis, to attend Minncon 2016. and if at Chicon Karri and I were pretty much by ourselves, at Minncon I met so many other amazing people. People who live across the world and who I would never have met if it wasn’t for this show.

My dream op came true and Jared gave me a piggyback ride:

And I also got to witness firsthand how incredibly human and caring this man is. It was the first time I saw Jared after AKF and all that happened to him in 2015, and this time I went to get his autograph crying bc I was too overwhelmed by all of this, by him, and also because I didnt know if I’d ever see him again. He entwined his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand, winking at me. My heart melted.

I had a fucking amazing time in Minneapolis. Not only because of the con, also for the people I was there with. On our last night, after the con was over, me and the girls went to the pub right next to our hotel to eat and talk, there was so much laughter and happiness. I knew how much I would miss that while I was still there. 

To me, Minncon would be my last con. But a few days after the con, I was still in the US, in NYC in vacation, and Karri began convincing me to go to New Orleans in 2017 for another con, since Heather and some other girls were going to. And how could I say no? How can I stay behind and watch my fav people have fun at a con without me? So in a little more than 3 months, on Oct. 23rd, I’m getting on a plane to New Orleans, to experience all of this again for the third time. 

Before I went to Chicon, i was afraid to tell people why I was going to Chicago, I was afraid they’d say it was stupid, a waste of money. But I got so much support it surprised me. Even my boss encouraged me to go when I asked for some days off, I never hid from her where I was going. She started watching SPN this year because of me and now she wants to go too. I know some people may think it’s unecessary to spend all this money to go to conventions for a tv show, specially 3 times when I could have gone to just one, but I don’t care. It’s what makes me happy, I get to spend an amazing time with amazing people this show brought me. And I can’t wait to spend even more amazing moments this year. Because of Supernatural, I got to meet people I would never meet otherwise, and I got to visit places I probably wouldn’t if it wasn’t for the show. Supernatural gave me so much, it literally changed the course of my life. 

I also discovered a new talent, I found out I can write stories, after reading so many J2 fanfics I tried to write my own fics, supported by my awesome friends, and now I can write a story that has over 100k words. Not only that, I can write all of that in english. I’m a native portuguese speaker. Supernatural has improved my english skills as well. 

I don’t have a sad story to tell, Supernatural didn’t save my life or ended my depression. Thankfully I don’t have those problems. But Supernatural changed my life. Literally. It changed many events that happened after |I started watching it. It introduced me to a whole new world. I have friends on different parts of the world because of it, and now I know it’s not impossible to meet them. Saying goodbye to them is so hard, I have cried my eyes out at airports twice, but as I was hugging Karri goodbye in Minneapolis, we realized it wasn’t the last time we’d see each other. It might take some time, but we can do it. The world is big but with effort, we can get anywhere. So many good memories from the past 5 years happened because of Supernatural, and today I can’t imagine how my life was before that. I made friends, I visited new places, I met my favorite actor in the whole world. All because I decided to watch this show I kept seeing on Tumblr. Even long after the show ends and we’re no longer here, the impact it had on me will remain. I know these friendships will stay, as well as the amazing memories I’ll carry throughout my life. I hope I can tell my kids someday if I have them, how much this simple tv show changed me. And I’m gonna encourage them to go after what they love, like my mom did to me when I first told her, afraid as fuck, that I wanted to go to Chicago (a ten hour flight) *just* for a supernatural convention. And she was like “go for it”. Little did I know a small decision on July 15th of 2012 would have such a huge impact in my life.

Thank you Supernatural for the road so far. And for the road yet to come. 

[elizabethrobertajones]

9x21 rewatch

hey so I have frequently commented on the uncanny way my rewatch lines up with new canon kind of unnerving me at times

anyway for the historical record, 12x13 is the next episode we are waiting to air at the point I start watching and this was in no way planned, this is just where I got to in a 2 year process.

I fucking knew Ramiel had a lamp that used to belong to Metatron in his basement.

I love that the recap to start with is pretty much all 9x18 after some basic season 9 angel war stuff. I sometimes forget that it’s a huge season-changing plot episode because I never focus on all the drama that takes place during it but look at all the really meta stuff. But it scrapes together the rest of the arc and puts it into a sensible shape to actually finish the season with, although with Buckleming episodes you NEVER need the ENTIRE recap because it’s always too long and covering too many details like they don’t trust us to remember everything that’s going to be mentioned here. It’s literally a 2-parter recap that after a minute of angel stuff switches to recapping Abaddon's entire season and Crowley and the Mark of Cain and the hell hounds and some more Crowley and anyway we’re 1:55 into the episode and oh my god should I be actually collecting which episodes have the longest recaps? I bet 12x13 is going to be 5 minutes

Leith, Scotland - 1723

Hey Gavin. I was always disappointed they didn’t make him ginger, since Crowley is obviously not wearing the same meat as when he was Ferrrgus. And then Rowena showed up and I was doubly mad that Gavin was not ginger. 

Anyway this is pouring one out that they cast someone who wouldn’t be wildly unchallenging for people to think was related to moderately-successful-literary-agent instead.

Also, Abaddon busts in and is ginger and says she’s a “friend of the family” - with hindsight would it have made sense for Gavin to even wonder if they were related? How much does he know about Rowena? It seems like Crowley didn’t know her since he was a boy. Did he ever complain about her? I feel like he’d be the sort to tell Gavin lurid stories about his own horrible childhood to make him shut up and appreciate it :P

Crowley called Abaddon “the world’s angriest ginger” in 9x10 and honestly if I didn’t mention it then, getting in to the beginnings of Crowley’s own family drama here is basically demanding I stop and laugh at this. I don’t think Rowena is angry - justifiably so if she is - but Crowley certainly has some issues with Abaddon that I think we never really appreciated at the time.

ABADDON Yes. You're packing. Sailing for the colonies. I know all about it. Change of plans.

I mean, at least they’re upfront about the horrific retcon, the one genuinely open wound on the show that just *turns to scream out of the open window for a while*

[A YOUNG MAN enters ]

YOUNG MAN Ooh. What's this, then? Are we having a party?

I wonder if Gavin will still be gay/bi in 12x13? 

(There’s 1 bed in the room and this guy also has a key and, well, they’re planning on skipping the country to the new world. Meta of the time went into this but I suppose I have not much else better to do here with his story than explain as it unfolds :P)

Anyway who knows - same director and everything, Buckleming aren’t half bad at referring to their OWN canon, they’re as cheery as anyone else about implying Rowena is bi, even if they can be staggeringly homophobic in other ways. Guess we see how the wind is blowing.

Like right here they just immediately kill Gavin’s boyfriend and he doesn’t mention it again all episode >.>

The opening with the angels is still so ridiculous but I’ve never watched this NOT on a terrible stream before and I need to appreciate at DVD quality the angels watching Metatron’s useless plant/trap/whatever because their faces are exactly the sort of “what the FUCK am I watching” expressions necessary here while he talks :P

I love the implication here:

EZRA Oh, I can't tell you how great it feels to finally have a night off, right, guys?

Cas is working his army hard... weirdly more appreciative of the angels telling stories about eating pizza and actually taking the opportunity to kick back on Earth and go to bars and enjoy a night off.

I have a lot of feelings about this because Cas’s angels are the most human - they still sound angel-y when they switch to talking about plot stuff, but when they’re kicking back they sound regular and human. Considering angels go BACK to trying to live somewhat like their old selves in Heaven, Cas’s army is the most randomly dressed, relaxed bunch of angels we’ve ever seen, and this didn’t mark a permanent change, as once they were back in charge, they give this up and all angels wear black/white/grey again. After 12x10 I have a lot more feelings than normal about angels and proximity to humans. Cas had his angels doing things like healing humans at the hospital for no reason other than that it was a good thing to do. Cas’s angels seemed closer to human than any of the other factions we came across. These angels were changing and adapting to living on earth - making the most of it and blending in and maybe getting to know having a vessel that they may NEVER have done before.

Just... aargh.

Cas let his angels have a night off and when they asked what they were supposed to DO with a night off he squinted and furrowed his eyebrows and thought about what Sam and Dean would do and said, “Humans seem to enjoy going to bars in their spare time” and all the angels took it as gospel and shuffled obediently off to have fun >.>

EZRA ... being handpicked by the big man himself. I'm not really supposed to talk about it. 'Cause it's Metatron.

Back in 9x14 there was some moment like this which had a ton of ambiguity about who was being referred to of all the available villains, of Bartholomew, Gadreel or Metatron. Now Cas and Metatron are ambiguously blurred together, though on first viewing it might not be so obvious because we don’t know these are Cas’s angels, but “the big man” is a reference to a boss and their boss is Cas and they’re like ??? this angel seems to be talking to us like he’s on our team (and having the same night off as us) but is Castiel hand-picking anyone for anything - and then he goes and drops Metatron’s name after a weighty pause.

There are a lot of weighty pauses this season

Also blurring good guys and bad guys - the martini being delivered to the angels’ table looks like the one Abaddon drinks later

ALSO then Ezra walking down the alley sees the silhouette of a man in a long coat and stops in horror before realising it’s not Cas, relaxes, and then is nabbed by Cas’s angels.

The scary alley moment is more than enough to mimic the usual patterns of victim and monster in the show and the spectre of a man in a long coat seems monstrous to Ezra, using Cas as the villain... 

Once Ezra is chained up and waiting, Cas’s appearance is heralded by terrifying slow footsteps and Ezra’s fear:

EZRA Is that...him?

Side note: the classy purple angel who I’ve always had a soft spot for is not named in the episode but appears to be called Benjamin by the transcript. 

Obviously not Cas’s BFF Benjamin but they’ve been very good about not re-using angel names. “Benjamin” appears to only be in this episode and isn’t named anywhere in the dialogue, so I suppose easy to ignore.

Dean shows up wearing his bizarre/excellent putrid yellow jacket which is an incredible stretch by the wardrobe department to find something unflattering. It brings out all the worst in his face, which I never knew had a worst until I saw the promo pics for this episode – for the first time. Of course it’s yellow because sulphurous connections because Dean’s about to be a demon.

I’ve seen it compared in a more favourable light (literally) to Brokeback mountain and a jacket one of the characters wore because of the hug scene, but I think in general the whole point is to really underline in red pen a dozen times that Dean’s in deep with a demonic connection.

(I was also just reminded of Sam’s jacket in 12x12 which is an eye-catching reddish-pinkish-orange, depending on the light. An anon helpfully suggested he might have a witchy descent (which is just teasing after how many times we’ve hoped for it and written speculation that FINALLY it might be Sam’s time) but aside from red being witchy in general, now I think about it, it would sort of be the colour of Rowena’s hair :P (Somehow this entire rewatch is about ginger-ness))

God I do not miss season 9 Dean.

(All he’s done so far is hear “commander”, look affronted, look at Sam and whisper “commander?!” in an affronted way and I should be flipping out from the Destiel of it all but Dabb era has been wrecking me

like

I have it paused and they’re about to hug

but I just don’t feel it, you know?

Not when in season 12 there’s a serious danger of them nuzzling or clinging like they don’t want to let go

*pat pat*

*Dean allows himself 1 hand placed on Cas’s back out of Sam’s sight to stay for about half a second longer than it should*

God we are so fucking spoiled right now

Can’t believe we used to think Destiel was canon off of season 9 nonsense

DEAN So...Commander?

CASTIEL Yeah, not my idea.

wait never mind

Dean just can’t let things go about Cas, can he? All he needs is a waitress to flirt with him or the angels to give him a cute nickname - I mean, intimidating title - and off Dean goes.

Has he said anything this episode except for “commander” yet?

blah blah talking tactics and angel war how can a conversation between these two be dull?

Aside from being dull, the scenario is twisted around completely implausibly:

CASTIEL Dean, this angel-on-angel violence -- it has to end. Someone has to say, "enough."

right yeah good, then Cas asks them to interrogate the angel and wtf. We aren’t hurting angels! Unless Dean does it!

But nah we need a cliffhanger so Dean can say this:

CASTIEL Well, you've had success at these situations before. If you don't want to do it, I understand.

DEAN Who says I don't want to do it?

so it looks like a cheap 4x16 moment and I guess we’re seeing Dean all twisted up and about torture and showing how he wants to do it and so on but... Ugh, CAS. Why do you suffer for these things in your characterisation :P Especially bloody stupid ones that in the same scene you are being characterised properly over - it’s like they just drop that after paying lip service to where Cas’s arc is actually supposed to be at, to put in something entirely different. 

Imagine if Cas had asked them to go talk to Ezra because they were better at interrogations than him - without torture - but Dean shows up in there with an angel blade clearly ignoring that and wanting to go the threatening torture-y route. Cas stays in character, Dean is scary, easy!

At this point, actually looking forward to the trips to Crowley and Abaddon scenes

CROWLEY So, here's the thing, boys and girls -- we have a crisis. Admittedly, a crisis of my own making.

He really never wanted that throne :P He tries to reassert his power and declare himself the winner just for being back at it - and now we know WHY he’s so motivated to always go back for the throne - obviously with Abaddon it’s too personal not to do it to spite her, but then again in literally 3 episodes Crowley is back on vacation, bored stupid of the job, and just enjoying hanging with Dean instead. He loves the idea of getting Dean to run Hell for/with him, to take the edge off the boredom (and probably scare demons out of fighting against him).

ABADDON And I'm hearing that one of them also has the mark of Cain -- all bad news, since the Blade is the one thing that can bring about my --

CROWLEY Utter destruction.

ABADDON To be indelicate. But here's the thing, pet -- same goes for you. And once I'm gone, who do you think's next on those cute boys' list?

Now there’s a familiar line - pretty much the last thing said in 12x12 was Lucifer reminding Crowley of this. Crowley here has both a healthy reason to fear it, but also, since 9x16, a reassurance that Dean seems to be controllable and that he might just be able to control him or at least NOT die by his hand, so long as he plays his cards absolutely right.

Crowley getting demon!Dean for his own uses seems like it HAD to happen once Dean got the Mark because Crowley would never be able to just let him be - even if they always have that knife (and it’s great that it actually COULD kill Crowley but I don’t know if they’ve ever even given him a glancing blow from it because he always plays them well enough to avoid it) Dean with the Mark is violent and dangerous in a whole new way. 

Not sure Crowley counted on feelings, mind you :P

But, regardless, season 10 does not take long at all for Crowley to feel safe with Dean, and even in season 11, newly cured of the Mark and compelled by Amara to come help her, in 11x02 Dean can’t kill Crowley. At this point it’s more like they need to grudgingly accept they’re friends or something? >.>I definitely find it interesting this taunt comes up again because Crowley should be secure DEAN at least likes him enough not to kill him because first he thought he puppet-stringed him into not doing it and then it seemed that they genuinely cared about each other enough not to do it... If anything, the fact Sam and Mary would still happily kill Crowley are the problem :P

Cas... Cas owes Crowley TWO, has been threatening to murder him for years, and still hasn’t done it, mostly because they avoid socialising unless it’s the sort of desperate scenario where they have to put aside their issues and deal with a bigger problem.

I suspect Crowley has a lot of contingency plans for finding himself trapped in an elevator with Cas when they have no greater reason to work together, and now I’ve typed that I REALLY want that episode :P

CROWLEY To be clear... I'll not be joining you ever. Except at your death scene, where I shall burst into song. Goodbye. You have no hold over me.

ABADDON Oh, no?

[She snaps her fingers and GAVIN appears.]

ABADDON Gavin, honey, say hello to daddy.

blah blah old fandom complaints. Abaddon knows Crowley is emotionally vulnerable because of her spy, Lola, so the same trick Bobby WASN’T dumb enough to go for seems to be an option here. Probably illustrating how Crowley has changed specifically by using this exact same exploitable weakness as 6x04

... it still comes across as really silly and timeline breaking to do this particular thing and NOT send Gavin back >.>

Since it’s Buckleming I have no idea how they’ll deal with this plothole or if they’ll even mention it.

Anyway Crowley folds like a cheap suit, which he’d hate because he wears expensive suits

Crowley’s got to have saved them a couple of times now because it was convenient but this is I guess the first time really playing off his heart to make him save anyone. Even Sam and Dean don’t seem to think that’s worth doing despite knowing how messed up he is. While they had hi in the Bunker immediately after his almost-cure they didn’t exactly try guilting him into helping them

I wonder how it might have played differently if Dean saw that confession, not Sam. I seem to remember Sam commenting on it to Crowley but not nearly enough to actually gain anything from emotionally manipulating him :P

To be honest considering Abaddon was messing up Gavin’s eyes, and Crowley breaks and asks her to stop, there might be a parallel with him “saving” Dean by putting the First Blade back in his hand and waking him up as a demon. Gavin wants to be a Prince of Hell (fat fucking chance) but Crowley has what he’s looking for there in Dean. It’s all inverted though, despite Crowley caring for both - obviously Dean does not want that job at all.

Anyway then Sam figures out how to do the interrogation without anyone getting hurt, Winchesters discover it’s really fun to tease angels.

more on the surface cooperating and working as a team and presenting a united front

GAVIN You are not my father. My father was Fergus MacLeod, a simple tailor. A drunk, a monster.

ABADDON Sounds about right.

GAVIN He looked nothing like you, and I buried him.

CROWLEY A lot can change in 291 years.

Just gonna assume Fergus was ginger and you can’t stop me.

The idea of Crowley being not-suave is slightly terrifying but like Rowena, I think he’s held up entirely by determination to be more than he was in a “past life” - Rowena never technically died but she remade herself completely and I think sustains herself out of pure spite at the world that mistreated her :P

I guess Crowley’s always known about suits, but that doesn’t mean he had the best ones.

There’s something vaguely wrong about Abaddon and Crowley almost seeming to co-parent Gavin with the amused back and forth looks as he discovers where he is. Like, they set aside their differences to mock him? Is this a staggeringly clever parallel to what Sam and Dean are doing with Ezra as we back and forth, or are these just scenes where they wanted to write all ~comedic moments~ between all the characters... I have no trust of this :P The irony about Gavin thinking they’re in Heaven and these are angels is just... too heavy anvils.

Oh, I was wrong, under his yellow jacket, Dean is wearing the shirt he dies in, which makes this episode, 9x23 and 9x05. Still a weird place for it to pop up. I’ve been having a lot of issues with 9x05 randomly relating to important episodes but, like… not… lately :P

This is still really cold to US:

DEAN You're a fan. Just 'cause you're hot for Metatron... ...or Bieber or Beckham... Just 'cause you know everything about them doesn't mean that you actually know them. 

SAM Or that they even know you exist. 

DEAN Ooh, that's cold, Sammy.

SAM I'm just sayin', man.

Going back to the Becky portrayal of fans… Which to Sam and Dean PERHAPS in-character they hadn’t really had time to think of it differently… It’s much clearer from an outside POV that Charlie represents a better type of fan, but she’s a friend to them and even if she read the books, well… I don’t think they’d think of her as a fan. CAS said he’d read them and admired Chuck’s work. :P

Also generally in episodes with fans, there comes around some validating point about their engagement even if it’s disagreement or confusion elsewhere, being a fan is given approval or at least an attempt at understanding, especially as they learn and grow from these encounters, seeing themselves from outside eyes. Bringing it up out of context without any wider message, it just sticks with them not liking fans, and Buckleming maybe having a bone to pick, and is just generally awful.

SAM Wait a second. Just, please, uh... Clarify this for me. You desperately wanted this job, but you didn't know what it was? 

EZRA Well, until you were chosen, the exact nature of the mission was kept a secret. 

DEAN Wow. 

SAM Wow.

There’s possibly something to be said here about Cas and Metatron in 8x22 but I have no idea how to get to it while going through Buckleming stuff which now sounds like a critique on Cas for not reading the terms and conditions though Metatron did sort of tell him what they were up to…

GAVIN You sold your soul?! Sold it?! For an extra three inches of willy?! 

CROWLEY Priorities change. I wasn't the bon vivant that I am now. I'll simplify -- my soul did a stint in hell, where it became demonized. Then I had to possess another person so I could traffic with the living. Any of this sticking?

If 12x13 does what I WANT it to do (and assuming Dabb has any ability to wrangle Buckleming onto the same “flawlessly fixing borked canon” train the rest of the writers are on :P) then this does not have to break canon as it currently does, provided they put Gavin the fuck back in 1723: this episode establishes he apparently didn’t know EXACTLY what details and phrasing he told Bobby in 6x04 – he didn’t even know Fergus sold his soul, never mind what for. In 6x04 he was more than happy to rat Crowley out for all of this. Now, however, we have a weird loop where Crowley is the one who tells him this info and unless there are some very complex loops in the way time travel affects ghosts and personal belongings left in your original time, making a sort of bizarre “I can be a ghost before I died” thing (??? I write time travel nonsense for fun and this is making even my head hurt and I just randomly added two characters basically meeting eyes across two separate unrelated time travel out of body experience trips to a novel I didn’t think had enough time travel shenanigans this week :P) – Gavin has to go back so that he can die in the right time, and be a ghost to now pass on this info that he didn’t know…

Argh.

I really like this angel’s style. Modern fashion but absolutely in Cas’s model. Like, this is sort of catwalk Castiel :P she gets to wear leggings.

Cas should wear leggings

Anyway more admiration for the angels here, because “Benjamin” (if that is his real name) is also so snappily dressed, and they’re BFFs who probably judge people together, so these fashion-conscious angels are another little detail I love about Cas’s army. They still loosely fit the idea that angels either wear suits as a uniform, or she takes Cas’s general aesthetic and dresses like it, but of course both put a different, fashionable spin on it… So different from the stuffy angels of the past, while sort of fitting a pattern that fits for angels…

RIP Ezra, the most useless angel we have ever met. He was clearly a plant from Metatron to do exactly this (not that he knew it), since I don’t think it’s just his death that was planned by the traitor within Cas’s army. Metatron WANTED Cas to find the not-portal and see that mocking fake Heaven, and so he gets all that information to him by giving him an angel so useless he’ll blab the entire script. I honestly don’t even know if Metatron is controlling Ezra to say all this or if he was that terrible all of his own volition :P

CASTIEL I was sure everyone here was loyal. Finally united by a common cause. 

DEAN Well, that's the problem. See, you don't think anybody's lying. I think everybody's lying. It's a gift. 

I think they TRY to write Cas properly but fall down when the plot stuff happens. There’s nothing wrong in general with the set up here and Cas’s beliefs, except for when things they decide to do for the plot suddenly contradict them :P

In this case, good. Cas believes that these angels were truly committed to whatever he’s been saying to them about their current mission and I guess relying on the angel hive mind. I wish there had been more emphasis on Cas’s uncertainty about doing this because season 6 but he does have to step into a leadership role, and wrangling angels without drastically reprogramming them (e.g. when you need an army in a hurry to catch a target that you’re worried about, and don’t have time to do more than throw in some house rules like “no dress code” and “take Friday nights off to go to a bar” or “do side quests at the hospital”) means relying on some of those more angel traits like loyalty to a cause.

The angels are so messed up now though, that without actual unquestionable leaders like the archangels, listening to Metatron and listening to Cas weigh about the same, and some angels think Metatron is the new god or are willing to deal with him as such in order to get back to Heaven (same difference) and Cas has these soldiers loyal to him…

Of course Metatron is playing on their idealism, which we’ll get into next episode with the suicide bombers “taking it too far” but this is the early stages of his plan and it’s playing off basically this mindset – that Cas is hoping for idealism and loyalty. Especially as he has pure good intentions for it (HOSPITALS. ANGELS. AAAH it’s been years and I still scream about it) and Metatron is basically taking this Cas stuff and throwing it back in his face.

Anywho. The Dean stuff is kind of still so blunt and cruel and I literally don’t know this man. I mean, I’ve got season 7 on one end and season 12 on the other when it comes to stuff I’ve been watching lately. Wandering back to Mark!Dean is really bizarre. I remember wank about how this particular exchange was kind of… so un-Dean and not nice of him to say to Cas, but considering on both sides of this arc a normal squishy Dean exists, I really kind of appreciate the acting.

While also loathing it.

Be strong, Lizzy. 4 episodes after he loses the Mark he’s washing cars in booty shorts. Dean’s still in there.

Anyway!! One of the BIG redeeming scenes of this episode which I love to bits from so many directions (Sam and Cas!!! Talking!!!!! Let them be friends 2k17!!!!!!) and am just gonna quote in its entirety:

CASTIEL I wanted to ask you about Gadreel, the time he possessed you. 

SAM It's not really something I like to -- 

CASTIEL Sam, please. 

SAM He didn't possess me completely -- more like we, uh... shared housing. I was still me.

CASTIEL Did you ever sense a presence? 

SAM I don't really know what I felt. I mean, maybe that I wasn't completely alone. 

CASTIEL Did you ever feel threatened? 

SAM No. More that he... wasn't at rest, l-like he had unfinished business. Now that we know more about him, I-I'd say he felt misunderstood.

CASTIEL But not -- not a danger, not hostile.

 SAM No. I was wrong, obviously. He killed Kevin.

I LOVE the way it codes Gadreel as a restless spirit/vengeful ghost. After season 7 had such a detailed exploration of that for Bobby and now Dean is on a descent that in season 10 will also be directly and openly paralleled to being a vengeful ghost, this description had me excited for that parallel since this aired when it came to Dean, as well as just appreciating what this does for Gadreel (and in a way what it says about angels as he’s paralleled to Cas too for some of his actions to Cas’s in earlier seasons).

I think his vengefulness is really interesting as a way to look at it. We saw Bobby descend into vengefulness because he was given more and more reasons to rile himself up against Dick, until in the end he possessed a maid and marched off to try and kill Dick himself. Obviously there’s similar parallels just because Gadreel possessed Sam (and his own vessel is going to get caught in the crossfire, not that anyone spares a thought for him despite him TWICE being depicted on screen without Gadreel in him) and ended up being thrown at targets at least one of whom was picked for the same reason Bobby got so angry at Dick – Gadreel killing his torturer was a no-brainer for him, and got to vent a lot of anger at his treatment. It softened him up to carry on killing, and like Bobby was warned about becoming a vengeful ghost eventually you just start hurting people and it becomes a pattern…

I sort of feel like as well it justifies that Gadreel is on borrowed time and softens his need to redemption to being less proving himself to anyone else (though from main character eyes, I think he would – maybe Heaven would be less impressed with his redemption just because it’s a footnote detail to them) and more to personal realisation in that same way Bobby knew it was time to move on, many other ghosts we’ve seen reach that point, and Dean in the end also went and reached out to Death, assuming it was HIS time to move on as well and that he couldn’t keep hurting people.

(Yikes – this makes me realise I have literally never talked about this idea since the middle of season 10 when I didn’t know how it was going to resolve aside from presenting this idea… 10x23 was underwhelming enough I forgot that my favourite metaphor for this arc had played itself out correctly :P)

Anyway I am always liable to end up writing reams about Gadreel so I should probably stop, as all his stuff is yet to come, and I think the dialogue speaks for itself about how beautiful it is Sam felt his presence and I guess… wasn’t troubled by it. Like, if he felt different, and in hindsight realised his change in mood must have been Gadreel, then that translates to Sam having felt this on top of his normal emotions (I talked about how Gadreel seemed to be influencing Sam at various points while that was going on) – if Sam felt this too, I think that translates well into the almost nervous energy he had at times (9x04 especially since it showed him chilling at the Bunker except for where he was throwing himself into massive tasks, but in general being peppy and defying Dean’s nervousness about him staying home and resting up – Sam himself didn’t succumb to any vengeful anger over that time, even in the scenes where he was dealing with Crowley. He’s so much more well-balanced than he used to be, honestly :P)

Also eee Sam and Cas talking. Cas apologetic but also in need of answers, and looking sympathetically at Sam all through this. Sam being troubled but also caring enough about Cas to open up and feel comfortable about talking about it to Cas… yessss

There are SHOCKINGLY few scenes of them being emotionally kind to each other like this

CROWLEY I mean, I beat you, starved you, came home drunk, beat you some more, woke up hungover, and, yeah, I beat you. In all fairness, I didn't really have any role models. My mother was a witch!

Note to self because a promo for 12x13 came out already while I was working on this – Gavin knows she’s a witch! And he’s asking how she’s still alive even after seeing how much nonsense this family has.

My confidence is a wee bit shaken but we’re sticking with it :P I’m sure we all have MacLeod family drama rage on the back burner that this episode is going to bring up in full.

Anyhow, I vaguely remember people paralleling this to what Rowena and Crowley talk about when it comes to her neglect. My internet is down but I recall discussion of how many pigs Fergus had been worth selling for :P Long story short, perpetuating abuse and neglect to create this messed up family. Gavin seems like the most well-adjusted but we’ve left him alone for 3 years and he’s got this brilliant legacy so who knows what’s up.

I also wonder given the themes of the season, if he’s maybe knocked someone up with a baby-out-of-time, so even if they send him back to his watery grave (that he fucking owes the universe and this season has ~cosmic consequeeences~ as a threat) there’s some more MacLeod fucked up abandoned children out there >.> Rowena mentioned her own father and how much Gavin looked like him… Given how well HER life turned out I suspect this might not be a good thing in both the parallel to Gavin, AND her own backstory. Like, she doesn’t seem about to say “well I had a normal childhood, this was all just teenage rebellion that went too far” or something :P

GAVIN So... If you're a king... that would make me... Prince? 

CROWLEY And you say I've never given you anything. A title!

I had to stop this to make a gifset which I think explains everything I might have said here

Crowley with retconned hindsight is just like “fuck it” “my kingdom is based solely on the fact a prince of hell wants to fish in peace and I let him” “this is the most unintentionally hilarious thing that has happened to me in 300 years” “I love my son” “I actually love him”

“give the fucker what he wants”

GAVIN And if I was to accept you as my father, you could keep me from eternally burning in hell? No matter my sins?

[...]

GAVIN This might work out. For the first time in my entire life, I can see possibilities, a future... Just as soon as you take me back to my own time and I can board that ship for the new world.

Oh my poor queer little Prince of Hell. You have a get out of jail free card but hear the call of the New World, where you can be yourself and know full well you’re not going to hell no matter how many dudes you bang… it’s the life you always dreamed of.

(Someone should really just tell him, dude, Gavin, your prince of hell-ishness… God is bi. Be chill. You’re fine)

I think I promised to go into this further when I got here, but honestly those lines are so blatant. Gavin thinks he’s going to burn in Hell, and he wants to start a new life. He MAY be a criminal or something and just on the run and there’s some boring back story they’ll give us. But for now, I remember everyone and their mum blogging about how he was queercoded in this episode (and his friend in the room with one bed and a hot red head to share really ruin the ‘on the run murderer’ speculation :P)

I love how Gavin immediately gets confident and sits down in the chair that Abaddon and Crowley have sat in while in a position of power…

A position where Abaddon ends this episode stabbed and Crowley has to sit in the chair shot and useless, and Gavin – well he’s talking about Crowley sending him home to board his ship that will go down and take this entire timeline with it right now.

Meanwhile, Cas leaps straight to action on Sam’s word of trust. Obviously he was thinking about reaching out to Gadreel because after hunting him before, 9x18 had been a bit of a turning point for everyone. I don’t know if Dean shared his intel on Gadreel but it seems unlikely they DON’T share notes like this – despite never seeing them talk it all out on screen, TFW generally knows each other’s shit unless it’s MEANT to be a secret.

So somewhere or other Cas has been musing on it, that Gadreel was captured and Metatron may or may not have used it as part of an elaborate set up, but Gadreel sure was ready to die and gave them ALL that lingering look as he was handed back over to Metatron (and Dean beat the SNOT out of him, you’d think he’d want to get as far away from them as possible :P)

And clearly he has some way to communicate with Gadreel, despite the fact that previously he had been hunting him fruitlessly… Perhaps a spell can send a message one way or angel radio can be directed, but the actual location part doesn’t work….

Which just gives me weird feelings about the longing retcon and  how Cas can always tell where his humans are...

I mean Metatron tapped the line obviously because he’s watching EVERYTHING but

CASTIEL Thank you for coming. And thank you for coming alone.

GADREEL I've seen you through Sam Winchester's eyes, and he trusts you.

*screams some more about how they’re face to face BECAUSE of Sam on both sides, vouching for everyone’s character and they in turn implicitly trust Sam’s character judgements completely and honestly they just work together so well after this and aaaaaah*

GADREEL You have a reputation for honor.

CASTIEL In some circles. As for reputations, yours precedes you.

Aaaaaah but reputation. Cas’s reputation gets worse and worse but this season presents his story very interestingly from the angels. Ephraim, Bartholomew and now Gadreel have heard of knew first hand that Cas was above all a good and honourable angel and solider. Gadreel taps into the rumour mill – he based his decision to help Dean on a character reference from CAS and in turn used Cas’s name and how he knew his reputation and Dean’s to gain Dean’s initial trust…

Clearly he’s listening to the nice things angels say about Cas, and the later character defamation where all the angels seem to have nothing nice left to say about him starts later… 1 episode later, and then quickly escalates >.>

Cas’s reaching out makes Gadreel defensive too quickly – I think Cas underestimates his trauma a wee bit –

GADREEL What happened in the Garden was not my doing.

CASTIEL I know you feel misunderstood. And you're eager to redeem yourself and maybe more. 

GADREEL You refer to my support of Metatron's campaign to rebuild heaven? 

CASTIEL Your support? You've recruited for him, you've killed for him. And I know you truly believe it's for the greater good, but you've placed your faith in the wrong master.

He wants to relate his own experiences and need to redeem himself to Gadreel’s feelings. I think between Gadreel and the good reputation rumours and this, Cas should have played up a bit more that he’d slaughtered thousands in Heaven and felt bad about it because it’s pretty accusatory :P

I find it interesting he says “wrong master” – as I was saying, he and Metatron are rivals, presented even as equals, especially with the faith in them. This makes Cas sort of indirectly owning that he’s the “higher power” in charge here, which I don’t particularly like but I suppose he’s thinking “commander” not “cult leader” (as Dean accuses him of next episode) and he’s keeping that distinction where few of the angels are, while meanwhile dropping back into his military mindset in a way we basically NEVER get to see Cas do when it comes to command and plans and stuff even if we do get him being tactical sometimes…

CASTIEL I know him too well, Gadreel! I made the same mistake, and it led to the fall. 

GADREEL Which led to my second chance. 

CASTIEL This is about more than just you.

Cas continues trying to pull Gadreel back… he has a point here, although I’m more concerned as with many Buckleming dialogue decisions, why Gadreel was defending that point in the first place. There’s so many little character un-intuitive lines that I think were meant to have juuust that little more subtlety that were totally botched somewhere in the “this is what we mean” to “what we actually wrote” process :P

Like Crowley talking out why Gavin should hate him and ending up in completely the wrong place. Or starting from it. That bugged me :P

Anyway I love Cas lying on a sofa crying about how much he loves his family but I also love BAMF angel Cas arguing these things about duty and their mission and what they were ‘made’ for with other angels just because that whole angel mindset is fascinating to me

*Dean has flashbacks to the Mark*

This can not end well. It looks like it’s really messing him up :P

On the other hand I just noticed Sam is wearing a horrible green shirt we rarely see and I’m distracted.

Imagine if he wore it with the orange jacket.

Brb getting the First Blade because we’re just suddenly decided after the halfway point to link up with the other part of the plot.

SAM (disgusted) Oh! Come on, Crowley! You really, uh, uh, have to hide the Blade in a corpse? Not -- not with a corpse but in a corpse?

Sam Bucklemings all over the place – they had this info already but he seems to be reacting fresh to it which would be fine because EW GROSS WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE but it’s too much exposition explaining that the Blade is in there, and Jared is just… not committed to that much exposition, so transforms into Buckleming!Sam, who often sounds bemused by the words coming out of his own mouth.

I do love that jaunty piano music (which I have looked up several times in various contexts because it’s clearly public domain or something & always forget what it is) that they use to show Crowley and the New Prince of Hell are chilling. Gavin is reading his newspaper, Crowley’s just kind of sitting there plotting.

I have no idea what he’s planning to do at this point. Abaddon will kill him easily because she massively out-powers him (see also: everything I said so far in the rewatch about this, everything I said in 12x12 about this :P) but he eventually warns Dean it’s a trap, when he’s already coming here with the first blade, just not knowing Abaddon is here too… Like, what was his plan if Dean bailed and didn’t show?

As a display of control it’s a bit counterintuitive because comes up here to have a showdown with Abaddon anyway despite the warning, so Crowley should discover Dean CAN’T be commanded… but he kind of really needs Dean to kill Abaddon for him.

Maybe he just trusted he could do it but used the one word he knew that was a code to tell Dean to be more careful, but…

Anyway we had a “Romeo” and “Juliet” in 2 adjacent episodes, and I saw people talk about how that was Destiel just because all the other love arc stuff but honestly, the whole Juliet thing reflects waaay more on Crowley, and his yearning for love still unrealised since 8x23, but building up to him FINALLY snaring Dean in 9x23… And well, hindsight is everything :P

GAVIN I'm going to the colonies. I'm workin' my way across. I've given my word!

Ooh so confirmation he was not A: running away or B: being sent… A different obligation. Maybe THIS is about his poor dead boyfriend who honestly there is NOTHING else directly about in the episode, like mentioning his friend was clearly just Too Gay to imply ANYTHING else about him…

Let Gavin be gay 2k17

DEAN (on phone) All right, we're on our way.

CROWLEY (on phone) Oh, and, Dean, you need to get a move on. It's a good day's drive from Poughkeepsie.

Dean had basically already hung up on him oh my god this is such a shoddy plan – it’s not even making the most of what he CAN do in his situation

A bit of back and forth about parenting as well. Crowley is sort of a John mirror this season as well (if we take all the layers of subtext as VERY distinct from each other) and he is basically going to “parent” Dean back to demonhood… Right now he’s struggling with parenting Gavin, and muses on if Dean was nice to John. It parallels Gavin and Dean as Crowley’s two children – Dean as the “better” son doing everything Crowley asks (except for not coming here in the first place – he’s also telling Gavin not to get on the boat for his own good but at Crowley’s expense right now)

ABADDON Little trick I learned from Henry Winchester. 

Crowley’s wtf expression is great here. No one tells him nuffin

Appreciating the difference in their backgrounds here. We even see Cas and his car, but Gadreel approaches humbly on foot. I guess he has a crumbling façade? Cas has a bit more of an imposing and clean put together skyline, but in the end he’s still parked next to the skip on the exact same ground as Gadreel :P

GADREEL Even though you and I are on opposite sides in this situation, I believe there must be honor, even in matters of war.

ILY 

CASTIEL Obviously, Metatron has someone inside my camp. It's how he knew we were meeting. Just fighting fire with fire. Consider my offer.

ILY MORE – you really go all out. I mean you could have found some other dumb angel like Ezra but nah, you have a weird personal connection to Metatron’s MAIN DUDE who has MURDERED SO MANY ANGELS and you’re like you know what if we need a turncoat I want that guy

Metatron and Cas warring over their playing pieces >.>

Ah, that final 10 minutes of a Buckleming episode feel. Dean tells Sam to go hang out in the basement, taking control in that “this is a dictatorship” way. He MIGHT want to protect Sam (from himself as much as anything) but I sort of feel there’s a lot of guilt there that he knows he can’t really stop himself at this point, and he’s kind of craving the violence and he just doesn’t want Sam to SEE him this way…

*long sequence where Dean busts in and doesn’t talk* Not at all like 12x11. (I’m still fixated on that. This is obviously the much darker example, but I think 12x11 might be fridge horror, realising how MUCH of a sameness these two instances have to each other, and what was going on with Dean here, and how he’s stripped down to a killer – just the next time a goofy one who gives a thumbs up…)

Weirdly amused by this

Reminds me of 9x17 and those souls in a jar except it’s just an empty water cooler bottle in an empty basement. Sam looking in all the wrong places to save his brother’s soul right now…

Blah blah Dean fighting Abaddon. The first implication Dean didn’t need the feather to fly, in like, implicit stuff they show, that he resists, has the glowy Mark, and force-pull the Blade back to him. The Blade is just a useful perk of having the Mark; the Mark is oh so much more.

(And Dean, probably quite rightfully tbh, never explores these powers ever again aside from enjoying the cheap healing while he’s a demon)

Anyway Sam misses everything except for Dean over-powering Abaddon’s push one final time and killing her.

You can always tell when they are worried something wasn’t dramatic enough so they totally ruin her death with the most OTT dying effects ever – even Eve and her ridiculous close up cuts back and forth was at least doing more than floating there screaming and she melted slower. I mean… It’s close in badness.

If Abaddon had died fast like a regular demon but maybe brighter and shoutier Dean’s reaction to keep stabbing would also look far more natural as he wouldn’t freeze frame with her, and could just kinda keep on going, as if it WASN’T satisfying enough and he WANTED the entire minute of her suspended in the air screeching.

Oh well. This show is sometimes terrible, and ends an interesting female character’s arc so terribly I literally have not had ANYTHING to comment on about her plans, what else she was up to, just, in general, how she’s been doing :P

AFTER she goes down it’s all really well acted though. Oh Dean. You’ve really fucked up this time :P Stupid death aside, it’s a great moment for showing how out of control he truly is and how completely in over his head with this power he is.

Which makes the way he begins to resist it in season 10 that much more powerful, because I think the Mark only ever gets stronger, Dean just gets better and better at resisting it. As I’ve said a few times, he’s remarkably much more human underneath while he’s a demon than he is at the end of season 10

DEAN I just still can't get over the fact that Crowley has a son. (to CROWLEY) How's he doing, by the way?

Dean appears to have got over it remarkably easy since this is the first thing he says. Conceal don’t feel… repress all that bloody murder under frivolous distractions :P

Nice of him to ask though I guess.

CROWLEY If the lad goes back, his destiny is to board a ship bound for America. That ship went down in a storm. All hands were lost. He had one chance in this world to change his life. You want that to all end in tragedy?

Yes, they know… They were there in 6x04

Unless it didn’t HAPPEN

SAM The lore all says the same thing -- you change any one thing in the past, the ripple effect impacts everything that follows.

CROWLEY Please. No one bends the rules like you two bend the rules. He's one misfit kid. He impacts no one.

SAM You don't bend that rule, okay? You don't. We'll take him back to the bunker, figure out the spell. That's the way it's got to be.

COSMIC CONSEQUENCES

I can’t believe they even fuckin’ said it and then literally never revisited it. Was Gavin’s actor busy? Could they not just recast him? 10x04 “oh shit now all that drama’s over, we need to find Crowley’s son”

Feeeeeelings

I always forget how funny that is

Crowley talking about having a trace of humanity in him and Gavin never being used for Crowley’s ulterior motives is meant to confirm Crowley well and truly is changed. Goes off and picks up Dean as well at the end of the season (who he was watching very curiously and chatting to while Dean was in his murderbloodlust state, as per usual with his fascination with Marked!Dean).

GAVIN The ship went down? Well, that's a good fit with the rest of my life.

I have become genuinely attached to him and I think it’s because he’s useless, cute, probably gay, and I hate this episode so much because I just want him to be dropped in the ocean where he belongs.

GAVIN So this is goodbye, then?

CROWLEY Yes. Forever. Unless, of course, I catch you smoking, in which case, I'll smack you stupid.

GAVIN Goodbye, then. And thank you...father.

Wonder if Crowley really has kept in contact – or kept tabs on him. Might be safer for everyone involved if he cuts ties and NO demons know that Crowley has a son alive in the 21st century who Crowley is too attached to for his own good…

CROWLEY Goodbye, Gavin. Oh, uh... Don't go mentioning that whole "Prince of Hell" thing. Doesn't play too well in most circles.

PFFT

I honestly think Crowley’s face is enough to add in the retcon that he’s not just looking out for Gavin or trying to avoid embarrassment about this but also… yeah :P

Oooh I forgot Dean actually explains. In my defence, it’s a Buckleming episode but normally it would be a bit more subtle – at least it gives them a few great soundbites for later recaps:

DEAN First time I touched that Blade...I knew. I knew that I wouldn't be stopped. I knew I would take down Abaddon and anything else if I had to. And it wasn't a hero thing. You know, it wasn't... It was just calm. I knew. And I had to go it alone, Sammy.

If you’re not horrified about the little journey Dean goes on there… A+ acting. He’s horrified and fascinated and guilty in turn.

In possibly one of the most terrible Winchester Miscommunication Moments filed under this very specific bracket, Sam misinterprets this as being about some sort of petty brother thing they’ve been arguing about all season and Dean lets him:

SAM Oh. Of course. So it was just another time where you had to protect me.

DEAN You could've gotten nabbed by Abaddon, and she could've bargained her way out. We couldn't afford to screw this up.

Dean giving more “normal” reasons why he’d leave Sam out.

Sam then, tentatively, and having ignored all the huge neon signs so far that tell him he should NOT be this tentative and shouldn’t have been for many episodes, suggests,

SAM Look...I'm glad it worked out, okay? I am. And I'm glad the Blade gives you strength or calm or whatever, but, Dean, I got to say... I'm starting to think the Blade is doing something else, too.

DEAN Yeah? Like what?

SAM I don't know. Like, something to you. 

He might just be careful for Dean’s sake, but there’s been a real pattern so far of him ignoring neon signs about Dean for one reason or another – maybe a lot of performing Dean related issues on Sam’s end of struggling to interpret him and known when he’s being deflected from for REALL serious reasons and when Dean’s just being Dean… Maybe he just doesn’t want to accept it because it’s terrifying and also BROTHER KILLING CURSE hey and you’re the brother :P

Anyway Dean vetoes Sam suggesting Dean chill with the whole blade thing, with a simple “no” once again dictating what they do, and that’s that. Onwards to 9x22 and all THAT nonsense…

Although I suspect the next episode I watch will be 12x13 and we’ll deal with a ton of nonsense for other, less fun reasons. >.> Here is a blank space for future me of Friday afternoon to scream in horror:

D:

[edit: wandering by a couple of weeks later to add a tag I forgot. Saw this blank space. Now know I should have left a much bigger one. I am pretty sure I rewatched this episode and Buckleming did not :P]