nintendont2502

[nintendont2502]

You have to play portal if you haven’t played it yet thats NOT okay portal 1 is like 4 hours and portal 2 is like 7. How much time do you spend every week scrolling social media. Ok now replace that with thinking with portals. Guess what you just played two 10/10 games and it’s not even Sunday

[nintendont2502]

. why does the gate say boarding closed. why is it closed. i haven't boarded yet let me IN

flights going so great so far. right after we checked in an alarm went off, wouldnt stop for the next half an hour, and no one could go through security bc they thought we might need to evacuate. we finally make it to security, my bag gets flagged bc I had some water left in my bottle and then *i* get flagged and patted down bc my hoodie fell weird over my shoulder (???). make it to the gate right as boarding starts and spend ten minutes lining up and getting to the front of the line only to be sent back bc my group hasn't been called yet (even though its final call). the rest of my family booked separately so theyre on the plane and im just. not. ive had 4 hours sleep its too early for this shit

[nintendont2502]

flights going so great so far. right after we checked in an alarm went off, wouldnt stop for the next half an hour, and no one could go through security bc they thought we might need to evacuate. we finally make it to security, my bag gets flagged bc I had some water left in my bottle and then *i* get flagged and patted down bc my hoodie fell weird over my shoulder (???). make it to the gate right as boarding starts and spend ten minutes lining up and getting to the front of the line only to be sent back bc my group hasn't been called yet (even though its final call). the rest of my family booked separately so theyre on the plane and im just. not. ive had 4 hours sleep its too early for this shit

[nintendont2502]

gifts the trans person in your life will appreciate

Large amounts of cash

large amounts of cash

large amounts of cash

large amounts of cash

large amounts of cash

pipeline punch monster

[nintendont2502]

walks up to yuou with an acorn and stares at you till you accept my gift and pet me on the head

[nintendont2502]

ohhhhh i get it its called weapons (2025) because it came out in 2025

[nintendont2502]

i’m sick and tired of people pretending that burger isn’t delicious just to clown on americans. america deserves the ridicule, but why’s burger catching strays? burger did nothing wrong

[nintendont2502]

On further reflection, the actual funniest possible outcome for the Homestuck cartoon would be if it pulls a Scott Pilgrim Takes Off and somehow manages to decanonise the Epilogues/Homestuck^2/Beyond Canon in the process.

[nintendont2502]

One day someone's going to piss off Amaury Guichon and he'll calmly put down the briefcase he's holding (he'll be holding a briefcase, and it will be a subject of fierce debate among scholars for many years whether this was intentional preparation or coincidence) and open it. Never losing his smile, he'll begin to remove chocolate and various implements - knives, molds, even a blowtorch - from the briefcase. It's at this point that any sensible person would leave, but the offending party will be transfixed as Mr. Guichon calmly assembles a delicious filling for the chocolate cylinder he's created, still smiling serenely. Slowly - but faster than should be humanly possible - the sculpture will take shape, revealing itself as a perfect replica of a pistol. At this point the victim may begin to run, but it will be too late. The chocolatier will already have finished spray painting his weapon. He'll take careful aim and loose three shots - still smiling - into the back of the offending party's skull. As the corpse slowly bleeds out, he will take a bite of the gun, give himself a satisfied nod, and leave.

[nintendont2502]

Normal about the epilogues

[nintendont2502]

mutual pining simply never misses. the yearning. the stupidity. the desperation while also thinking themselves alone with it. the rattling relief at the revelation. the way it works in so many scenarios— friends to lovers? a banger every time. casual hook-ups/friends with benefits while they both want more? show-stopping, spectacular, incredible. enemies who are so deep in denial it just makes them madder at each other? utterly unmatched every single time. slow burn, fast burn, burning while already fucking. mutual pining really just is that girl like truly who does it like her

[nintendont2502]

Am I annoying? Yes

Do I give a fuck? Also yes I really am sorry about me all the time

[nintendont2502]

Am I annoying? Yes

Do I give a fuck? Also yes I really am sorry about me all the time

[nintendont2502]

Am I annoying? Yes

Do I give a fuck? Also yes I really am sorry about me all the time

[nintendont2502]

there's this dog that's just bad at it. at being a dog. something must be wrong with it. the dog has a family, they love this dog, they were very excited to get the dog, and they chose this dog out of a mess of dogs in the shelter. it was cute, still is in it's own way. an adorable thing, really, a tiny picture-perfect puppy and the family was all smiles taking the dog home but it was just bad at being a dog. training was a non-issue, the dog only did their business when brought outside and the family would squat to pick up it's shit with a plastic bag, the dog never hopped on furniture it wasn't allowed to, the dog never barked, indoors or outdoors, and it never ate the family's food, never even tried to. the family thought this was wonderful behavior but there was other things about being a dog that this dog just didn't do. it didn't play, at all. never chased after a ball, never bit down on a rope. every walk with the dog felt more like dragging it around, the dog never wanting to move on its own. the dog didn't wag its tail at being told how good they were, at being petted, at given treats. it barely registered treats as anything different than its regular kibble. every meal, dehydrated meat chunks or a sneaked whirl of whip cream from one of the children, was eaten as a duty but never a fervor. it sat next to whoever brought them to the dog park and even other dogs knew this dog wasn't good at being a dog. though this dog never did have any issues with sleep, with diet, his waste always looked fine, it didn't seem anything was wrong. the family doesn't know exactly when but at some point the dog was brought to a vet, who surmised that the dog must be in some kind of pain, gave him meds, and the family didn't have to squeeze pills in cheese or anything, the dog just ate them fine. nothing changed but they never stopped giving him the meds. sometimes it'd be a different medication, a different vet with a different theory on what's wrong. some thought it was bad joints, another wanted xrays to see if it was a cancer, yet another tested for illnesses. no one ever guessed right, though. it just shouldn't have been a dog. the dog wasn't fit for being a dog. years of this go on. the family doesn't even think of getting another dog, they already have the one. the dog was fine enough, they figured. it's not in pain, not really, the dog's fine as is. a fixture of the family like a piece of furniture. it's almost kind of endearing, entertaining even, to see how long the dog just keeps going as it is. they keep the dog, celebrate each birthday with all of them there, the dog behaving as if it's any other day. four years old, seven years old, twelve years old, sixteen years old, twenty, twenty-five... then the dog bites someone. someone in the family. no real reason other than it's a dog and dogs bite. one hand bleeds as the other hand strikes the dog, a hammer of a fist making it whine for the first time. it sank fangs just once and years of dutiful love toward it collapse into a gravity of resentment. all this nerve to never act like a dog and now it suddenly wants to fucking bite someone? after all they did for the dog? all those years tolerating it? they end the dog's life without much ceremony in the backyard. they're all righteous, brimming with adrenaline, all smiles. this is right. the dog shouldn't have bit someone.

[nintendont2502]

i miss pepsisprite. johndavesprite. pepsifanta. whatever the fuck the ship name is i still have no fuckin clue

[nintendont2502]

welcome back to rand randomly puts in effort