#it only took 8 mins lol

[personwholikespmtok]

Based off of this post

[f1daydreamers]

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐬 [𝐓𝐀𝟔𝟔] 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

gif credits: @trenty

Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Fem!Reader

Summary: Arne, in hopes to focus on his team’s mental health as much as their physical, recruits a younger but just as educated psychologist to work one-to-one with the more reserved players. Trent is one of them.

A/N: This is me writing in hopes to distract myself from that abysmal final! Just to preface that Lee Richardson is the performance psychology consultant at LFC :) Also, I feel like Trent’s quite shy so I don’t think he’d be as rude as he is in this fanfic but for this to be a kinda enemies to lovers, I upped his rude boi energy by like 100% lol

There's no age gap btw! In the UK, it's doable to become a licensed sports psychologist in 6-10 years. If it took Reader 7/8, that would place her around 25 or 26 years of age. So, both Trent and Reader are of similar ages!

Warnings: psychology but nothing too in-depth, Trent’s rude in this :D, angst, very tense energy

Word Count: 1.9k words (6 mins reading time avg)

…

You checked your watch once, twice, then three times within a mere five minutes.

The sterile office, with its minimalist decor and muted lighting, seemed to magnify your impatience. Your eyes wandered to the vacant chair opposite you, and you sighed deeply.

Trent Alexander-Arnold was now fifteen minutes late for his first appointment.

“Not the best start,” you muttered under your breath.

Jotting a quick note on a pink Post-it to purchase a digital clock for your desk, you flipped the pen and clicked it shut, placing it down with a resigned finality. The email that landed in your inbox felt almost comically timed. It was from Lee, wishing you luck on your first official day.

You’d been in and out of the training center for the past week, organising your office, which had previously served as a spare room, often only used for the odd meetings.

Boxy and unfamiliar, it was a space you intended to transform into something warmer and more inviting with time. But any attempt to distract yourself proved futile; even the mental image of your office becoming a cozy haven couldn’t quell the unrest you felt inside.

Trent’s absence was more than a minor inconvenience; it felt like a deliberate message. After what Lee had disclosed about his rather aloof attitude, you couldn’t say you were entirely surprised.

Locking your office behind you, you ventured into the heart of the training facility. As you passed by groups of players and staff, your shoulders tensed imperceptibly. You adjusted your pace, trying to find a balance between caution and confidence.

Every corner turned, every nod exchanged with passing colleagues, felt like a small test of acceptance. Your mind raced with thoughts of proving yourself here. While a flicker of self-doubt danced across your features, you masked it beneath a veneer of professional composure.

You eventually found Trent tucked away in the far corner of a sparsely populated gym. A few exchanged ‘good mornings’ and ‘hellos’ momentarily eased your stress, but your tension returned as your gaze settled again on the man who had been purposefully late.

With a deep breath, you started heading towards him, weaving your way through the labyrinth of gym equipment.

You skirted around the treadmills, their rhythmic thudding echoing your own anxious heartbeat. Passing by the clanking weights, you dodged a few stray dumbbells left on the floor. The aroma of rubber mats and iron filled the air.

Finally, you rounded the weightlifting machines and found Trent on a mat, engrossed in his exercises. His headphones were still firmly in place, and his expression remained inscrutably focused, as though he was blocking out the world around him.

When you finally reached him, you hesitated, wanting to wait until he finished his set so as not to disturb his workout.

However, Trent spotted your reflection in the mirror in front of him as he came up. He stopped mid-crunch, the beads of sweat glistening on his forehead. He looked down, knowing exactly what this would be in regard of. He’d seen you around the training grounds enough to be familiar.

His elbows rested on his knees as his arms folded inward. He exhaled deeply, trying to regulate his breathing.

He wiped the tip of his nose with the pad of his thumb, then pulled his headphones off and let them rest around his neck.

“What?” He looked at you with mild irritation, craning his neck to see you standing just a few steps behind him.

Your lips pressed together in a courteous and tight-lipped smile.

“Hi, Trent. I’m Y/N, the new psychologist. We had an appointment scheduled for twenty minutes ago.”

Turning back to face the mirror, he stretched his arms out in front of him before reaching for a hand towel to wipe the sweat from his brow and neck.

Then he shrugged, his indifference palpable.

“Yeah, I know.” Your eyebrows furrowed at his response as you studied his expression in the mirror. His face shifted subtly, but the changes were too fleeting to decipher.

“Then why didn’t you show up?” you asked, your tone calm but firm.

"I don't see the point," he responded flatly.

In one fluid motion, he planted one palm firmly on the ground before twisting his torso and hoisting himself up with a push, turning to face you as he rose gracefully to his feet.

Your eyes locked inevitably, the proximity of his body left you no choice but to gaze up at his face, your chin tilting ever so slightly upward.

Beads of sweat glistened from his forehead, and his mouth was slightly parted as he scrutinised you from head to toe. A scoff escaped him before he turned away, sliding off some weight plates and placing them methodically beside his mat.

"I don’t need some shrink telling me how to play football," he asserted dismissively, the hints of his accent colouring his defiant tone.

You took a moment to consider your response, your gaze tracing the broad shape of his shoulders. Despite the urge to react defensively, you couldn’t shake the awareness that someone might be listening in from behind you.

You cautiously approached him, aware of the tension hanging in the air, his eyes flicking to your reflection in the mirror.

"I'm not here to tell you how to play football," you began calmly, letting the weight of your words settle between you. "I'm here to help you navigate everything off the pitch that might impact your performance on it."

"Well, thanks, but no thanks," Trent said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I've managed fine so far."

“Have you?” you questioned, quickly scanning the room for any prying ears, relieved to find everyone engrossed in their own routines.

Trent rose up, clutching a 15-pound weight plate between his hands.

"Because from where I stand, the club thinks you could use some support. And honestly, there's no shame in that." That was a saying your professors had instilled in you from day one.

Trent's jaw tightened, and for a moment, you thought he might ignore you. Instead, he pivoted to face you once more, his presence suddenly palpable.

"Look, I get that you're just doing your job, yeah? But don't expect me to pour my heart out to some stranger. Especially on someone else's schedule." He emphasised.

You blinked, but maintained eye contact, refusing to back down. "Fair enough. But I'm not going anywhere, Trent. Whether you like it or not, I'll keep trying to reach you."

He studied you for a moment, then shook his head slightly, leaning in just a bit closer.

"Good luck with that, psychologist."

…

"I think that's our time wrapped up, thank you so much, Conor." You hoisted yourself up with the armrests of your chair and gave a warm smile to the man opposite you.

"Yeah, no worries. I'll see you around." Conor said as he turned, rounding the chair he was just sitting on, giving you a final nod and smile before leaving and closing the door behind him.

You waited until it clicked shut before you sinked into your chair again. Your work was deeply important to you, one of few things in life you were immensely passionate about, but man, it took its toll on longer days.

You rubbed your temples in a poor attempt to alleviate the dull ache that had formed from hours of conversation. As you tried to gather your thoughts, the interruption in the form of a new email snapped you back to reality.

It was from Lee, asking you to come and see him when you were free.

Your head rolled back for a brief moment of respite. Trent had been on your mind ever since your confrontation earlier, lingering in the back of your thoughts throughout the day, despite the overall improvement as the hours ticked by.

Resigning yourself to more work, you pushed yourself up with a temporary surge of motivation. Straightening your blouse and combing your hair with your fingers, you headed towards Lee's office across the hall.

The door stood ajar, a silver name plaque bearing his name neatly affixed. Lee's office exuded an air of scholarly authority, with shelves lined with books, framed certificates adorning the walls, and strategically placed pieces of Liverpool memorabilia.

He glanced up from his desk as you knocked on the doorframe.

"You asked to see me?" you inquired, your head tilting slightly as he closed the folder he was reading, sliding it into the filing cabinet behind him.

"Yes, come in," Lee replied, gesturing toward the chair positioned across from him.

You smoothed down your skirt as you settled into the chair, intertwining your hands on your lap.

His demeanor exuded encouragement, warmth evident in the gentle lines of his smile. As he gathered his thoughts, your eyes fell upon a framed picture on his desk. Lee stood on the far left, flanked by several players including Trent and Curtis, their bright smiles frozen in time.

Your own smile deepened at the sight, noting how much younger they all appeared in the photograph. But as today's events replayed in your mind, your gaze momentarily lowered before returning to meet Lee's.

"A few years ago, that one," he pointed briskly at the photo, though he didn't give you time to respond before changing the topic - a relief, in your opinion.

"So," Lee clasped his hands together, "first official day? How'd it go?"

Pushing back thoughts of Trent deliberately, today had gone rather well.

"Good, honestly. Wataru and Conor were a little shy at first, but I think I was able to break through by the end of our sessions. Curtis was quite bubbly and a joy to talk to. We had some positive discussions too." You truthfully answered, giving a polite smile to round off your answer.

He nodded, impressed. Without a word, he turned to squint at his computer screen, his glasses perched atop his head. "And Trent?"

You cleared your throat, your tongue swiping over your bottom lip nervously. After a moment's hesitation, you shook your head once before answering.

"Trent didn't show up." You admitted with a wry smile. "I found him in the gym and brought it up but I wouldn't say that was a positive discussion."

Lee chuckled softly, his voice carrying a gentleness that belied his words. "Trent’s a tough nut. He’s got a lot on his shoulders and doesn't easily trust new people. But that's why you're here."

You nodded resolutely. "Absolutely. I don't intend on letting up."

"If you want me to step in-" He began but you shook your head again, halting him in the middle of his sentence.

"I respectfully don't think that's going to help. He's not exactly trusting of me right now, and I'm worried about the impression you stepping in might leave. I'm fortunate he's at least talking to me and sharing his feelings." You said with a measured tone, your words careful and tinged with a hint of apprehension.

"Well, you're the pro," you smiled at his joke, exhaling a sigh.

"I'm relying on your guidance, Lee. I can only hope he'll start working with me."

Lee nodded thoughtfully. "Trent respects effort and authenticity. He's introverted, sure, but once he's comfortable, he's a lovely lad."

"I'm sure," you blinked, fiddling nervously with your fingers.

Once he's comfortable.

That shouldn't take too long, you lied to yourself.

...

Part 2

Masterlist

Comment below if you want to be part of the taglist! Once you are part of it, you'll be reminded for every part of the series until its completion!

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

all i ever wanted, all i ever needed (not old enough ch. 8)

pairing: leon x reader

cw: smut, titty-fucking (lol), pregnancy, dubcon for a min bc he is half-asleep for a min, fluff

word count: 4.5k

ao3 link

Over the next week, you watched Leon become progressively more stressed. At this rate, he’d have a full head of gray hair before he officially became a father. The DSO was not keen on the idea of him quitting. It’s not like Leon had a formal contract with them because blackmail isn’t really a matter that concerns itself with legality. “Over my dead body!” he’d say if they told him he’d continue working there, but it wouldn’t be that funny since the death threat had never been redacted per se.

He did his best to keep it away from you, but you heard his phone conversation with Hunnigan from down the hall. Before he’d even begun to raise his voice, you awoke to the sound of him pacing his office. Leon carried his worries with him, and you could hear them in every heavy step that made the hardwoods creak wearily beneath him.

“Well guess what? It’s not your fuckin’ decision to make! It’s my life, not yours.”

You couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, only Leon’s words and his huffing breath in between his sentences.

“No fuck that!” You heard his hands slam onto the wooden desk. “If you really care about me then you’ll let me leave.”

You walked down the hall to check on him, but the door was locked, so you knocked. He flung the door open, and he looked furious for about a second until he fully registered that it was you standing in the doorway.

“Hunnigan, hold on,” he said, much quieter, as he put the phone on the table.

“Hey, baby,” he said, leaning down to hug you, “I’m sorry I woke you up. Do you want me to put you back in bed?”

“No, I just wanted to give you a hug to make you feel better.”

His expression softened and his shoulders relaxed at your words.

“Thank you, baby.” He kissed you on the forehead. “Lemme finish this call and I’ll come see you, okay? And I promise I’ll be quieter.”

“Okay.”

You secretly listened in on his conversation for a minute, but you had to press your ear to the door to hear what he was saying because he did actually try to be much quieter. It was funny to hear him talk so professionally after the way he’d spoken to you all cutesy.

“I’m not talking about it anymore today. I’m on vacation,” Leon said before hanging up without a proper ‘goodbye’.

Leon caught you outside when he opened the door.

“Is someone spying?” he asked playfully.

“No, just passing through,” you lied.

“Mhm,” he hummed and shook his head, but your cuteness succeeded in calming him. 

“Can I help you feel better?” you asked, grabbing at the fabric of his pants.

He took your little hands into his and kissed each one before saying, “not right now, sweetheart.”

“Why not?” you pouted.

“I’m going to do a lap around the neighborhood to get some of my adrenaline out and then I’ll come back, take a shower, and spend the rest of the day with you.”

You nodded, accompanying him back to his room so he could change into athletic clothing before leaving for a jog. At least you got to watch him change. Unfortunately, he did not put on a very entertaining strip show. 

You and Leon hadn’t had sex since he’d gotten home. He was perfect in every single way, more perfect than most men would be if their girlfriend got pregnant unexpectedly - he cooked for you, went out at odd hours to pick up food to satisfy any craving you had, gave you a massage any time you mentioned an ache in your body - except for that kind of ache. You wanted to have sex with him so badly, but he was too worried about you and the baby. You kept reassuring him that as long as he was gentle, nothing bad would happen, but he wouldn’t budge. You’d offered to give him a good-morning blowjob once, but he refused to let you put your knees to the wooden floor. You offered to move to the bed, reminding him that he couldn’t hit your cervix from your throat. His dick wasn’t that big. He wouldn’t accept anything sexual from you, and the frustration was boiling over. 

Whatever. Have it your way, Leon. 

He came back a half-hour or so later and headed straight for the shower. You were more than a little bit disappointed that you weren’t invited. No sex? No shower? Bullshit.

He had to want you, right? He was by your side constantly so you knew he wasn’t getting his rocks off with some other woman, and you hadn’t caught him jerking off either. At some point, his patience and determination to protect you at all costs would have to fall to his arousal.

You devised a plan the minute you heard the shower running. Step one: make yourself look sexy. Your options were limited, so you ended up just brushing your hair and putting on some lipgloss you found in your purse. You only had so much time. Step two: get naked. That one was incredibly simple. You threw your clothes across the room, missed the hamper - whoops! - and lied back in Leon’s bed. Step three: start touching yourself. You weren’t going to make yourself come, but you needed Leon to find you like this, and see how desperate you were for his help.

Seeing Leon with a towel wrapped around his waist, emerge from the bathroom, reminded you of that one lovely afternoon while he was gone. He smiled at you on his way to the closet to get dressed, but did a double-take and quickly backtracked once he realized what he’d walked into.

“Wow,” he said, utterly speechless at the sight of you.

Leon dropped his towel on the floor, not bothering with the hamper, and approached you on the bed.

“I wanna see you,” he said, urging you to open your legs.

Since you’d gotten pregnant, it became progressively more difficult to shave your downstairs area for a multitude of reasons - you were fatigued, and it was exhausting to stand up in the shower and bend yourself into a pretzel to get the razor at the right angle. Then, you started to get a bit of a bump, and even though it was small, it still hindered your ability to bend over as well and to see past your waist. Though you knew any hair down there was completely clean, you felt insecure knowing that you were getting close to a full 70’s-style bush. 

When Leon tried to take your hands away from their resting place, you resisted.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I don’t want you to see it.”

You hadn’t thought this part through. Generally, when you imagined having sex with Leon, you were thinking about his body, more than your own. He was too damn enticing. Unfortunately, if you wanted him to touch you, you’d have to show him the goods.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I haven’t shaved.”

“Okay? And?”

“It’s ugly.”

“I can assure you that you’re wrong.”

“Mm-mm.”

“Fine. Then I guess you’ll just have to finish yourself off here by yourself, won’t you?”

“Leon, wait!”

He turned on his heels and smirked at you.

“It’s just - you already don’t want to fuck me because of the pregnancy and once you see me like this, you’ll probably never wanna fuck me, ever again.”

You knew you were being overdramatic, but you needed to know that he really wanted you. You needed so badly to be needed, especially when Leon was so insistent on being your caretaker.

“First of all, I absolutely want to have sex with you. I just can’t let you get hurt. Second, you clearly don’t know how much I love you, so why don’t you allow me to show you?”

You removed your hands and his smile widened when he finally got a peek. He took the initiative to spread your legs and he didn’t even bother to kiss you on the mouth before he was making his way down to your cunt. You stopped him.

“You gonna let me have a taste of you or not?” he asked, and you sensed a genuine irritation in his voice. 

“But I haven’t shaved.” 

“And I don’t mind one bit.”

Realistically, you knew that meant it - Leon was the type of man to live and die for pussy - but why not fish for a little more flattery? 

“What if you get hair in your mouth?”

“I’ll keep going, happily.”

His mouth hovered just above your clit and he said, “Because this is mine.”

You’d heard of women getting more sensitive during pregnancy, but you didn’t expect it to be anything significant. You were so wrong. Leon’s mouth felt fantastic, like he was touching brand new nerve-endings. Every flick of his tongue had you moaning out his name and tugging at his hair. The moment his lips began to suck on your clit, you came. 

You’d never finished that quickly before. Leon was surprised too, but you wouldn’t have known that because you were off somewhere in oblivion, your consciousness ascended to a higher plane of existence. If only scientists could bottle an orgasm and sell it.  

After you returned to Earth, Leon was sitting back on his knees, still gazing at you with a smile. You could see the mischief lingering in his eyes.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked.

“What if we tried something new?” he asked.

“I’m listening…”

You noticed his eyes locking in on your breasts, and you had an idea of what he wanted.

“I wish there was a less vulgar word for it, but-”

“You want to titty-fuck me?”

“Can I?”

You couldn’t resist his baby blue eyes when he peeled them away from your breasts to plead you.

“Please,” he begged.

“Okay. Tell me what I need to do.”

It only took one look at Leon’s messy hair and puffy lips to convince you to do whatever he wanted. He deserved it all. 

But, he hesitated.

“Have you done it before?” he asked.

“No, but I’ve always wanted to.”

“I assume you’ve fantasized enough to know how it works then?”

His cheeks flushed and he nodded. You couldn’t help but think he looked cute when he was all embarrassed like this, even more so when you looked down and saw precum dripping from his tip.

Leon positioned himself so that his knees were on both sides of your torso. When your little hand wrapped around his dick, it twitched and you struggled not to giggle.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you. I think it’s cute.”

He pressed your tits together, and admired them for a moment, practically salivating over the sight. He scrunched up his face in contemplation before leaning over to the bedside table and grabbing a bottle of lube, which he rubbed over your tits.

“All I need you to do is keep them pushed together. Can you handle that?”

You smiled and did as he asked, earning a, “good girl” from him. He leaned over you and grabbed onto the headboard while he held his dick with the other. The sight made you wet. Unfair, you thought. You couldn’t touch yourself in this position. When you watched his cock glide between your tits, you understood his fixation.

“They’re so perfect,” he said in a sultry voice, “Can’t believe how big they’ve gotten.”

You were a bit insecure initially about how much they’d grown over the course of your pregnancy, and it was frustrating to have to buy new bras. Every shirt that was even moderately low-cut looked much more provocative now, so nothing seemed appropriate to wear out and about during your day-to-day. But now, knowing how much Leon liked it, you felt a lot better about your new cup size.

You didn’t feel embarrassed about coming so fast when you saw the way Leon was already throbbing and you’d just barely started. Well, you weren’t doing much of anything; Leon was the one thrusting rather erratically between your oiled-up tits. 

He began to babble as he got closer to the edge, “makes me wanna get you pregnant again, gonna give you so many babies, ah, fuck -” 

You leaned your head down and licked the head. It was just the tip of your tongue, but it made Leon’s eyes roll back. With a spew of curses, he came in thick white ropes all over your chest, your chin, even managed to get a bit on your face. It was actually quite impressive if you looked at it from a more analytical standpoint. But mostly it was just sexy, as were most things that Leon did. 

His eyes were wide when he saw your cum-covered self before he collapsed beside you. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought he’d fainted by the way he let himself fall down onto the bed.

With his eyes closed, he said, “Gimme a sec to catch my breath and I’ll clean you up”.

“It seems like you enjoyed yourself.”

“I think that might’ve been the best moment of my life.”

You laughed, “Really?”

“No, I think the first time you told me you loved me was the best, but this is up there.”

“Aw. You’re corny and horny,” you teased, leaning over and kissing him on the nose.

“I think you showing me the ultrasound was one of the best too.”

“You have no idea how happy that makes me. I was so worried you’d leave me or at least be upset.”

“Besides you, I think this little one is already my favorite person, and we haven’t even met yet.”

He gave you a kiss on the belly and whispered, “daddy loves you.”

“What about me?”

“Daddy loves you, too,” he said and gave you a kiss on the forehead.

At your 16 week appointment you were able to find out the sex of the baby. This was not your first time at this office, but somehow there was always one more thing you had to sign or one more card they had to swipe, so you were up at the counter talking to the receptionist while Leon took a seat in the waiting room. 

Another woman, who was much further along than you were, was sitting next to him, trying to reach her purse that was next to her chair, but she was struggling to bend over. Leon noticed and offered to help.

“Excuse me, ma’am, I can get it, if you’d like.”

“Thank you,” she said as he handed her the bag, “I assume you’re here with someone else?”

“Yes, it’s her 16 week appointment.” Leon gestured to you with his head to indicate who you were.

“Aw, that’s awesome. Is that your daughter?”

“Well, we don’t know the gender yet. We should find out today, hopefully, but yeah, son or daughter.”

“ Oh . Okay.” The woman looked mortified, realizing her mistake, though Leon hadn’t noticed what she’d meant yet. 

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked. 

“No, I misunderstood. I didn’t realize you were the father of the baby.” 

“Who else would I be?”

“I thought you were her father.”

“ Her father? Do I look that old?”

You walked over with your completed forms and sat next to Leon, smiling politely at the woman sitting next to him. You had no idea about their interaction until Leon told you later. You assured him that he did not look old enough to be your father.  

You’d met the staff before, but Leon hadn’t yet, so when they called your name and Leon got up with you, the nurse looked confused to see such a young-looking woman with a man in his 40s, but she didn’t say anything about it. 

You were given an ultrasound, but this time Leon was the one holding your hand as you looked at the monitor. 

“Whoa, is that the baby?” you pointed at a little blob on the screen. 

“Yep,” the ultrasound tech confirmed, “That’s the little one.”

“Do we get to know the gender today?” you asked excitedly.

Leon gave your hand a gentle squeeze when he saw your happy face.

“Mm-hmm. I’ll go get the doctor and have her tell you.”

The nurse left you both alone in the room together for a moment. 

“What do you want it to be?” you asked Leon. 

“I don’t care either way as long as the baby is happy and healthy, then I’m happy.”

“That’s what everyone says.”

“I mean it. How about you? Do you have a preference?”

“No, I just want the baby to be healthy, too.”

The doctor walked in with the results in hand.

“Do either of you have any guesses?”

“I think it’s a girl,” Leon said. 

“I think it’s a boy,” you said. 

“It’s a girl,” the doctor said. 

“Told you so,” Leon said, and you didn’t bother giving him a snarky remark because you were overjoyed imagining your baby girl. You hugged him as you began to tear up.

You didn’t have a gender reveal party like all those ‘perfect’ couples on social media did, but that moment in the doctor’s office, holding Leon’s hand was just as good, if not better. Those other girls, rich, popular, with flashy rings on their fingers and a whole flock of friends and family, would never be as lucky as you. Because you had Leon. You almost pitied them. 

Coming up with baby names was harder than you’d thought it would be. You had a list when you were younger, but that had long since disappeared. They’d probably sound silly to you as an adult anyway. You chose to wait until you knew the gender of the baby in an effort to make things a bit easier, but it didn’t seem to do much for you. You were scrolling through lists of names on the internet, listing them off to Leon while he gave some in return.  

“How about Ava?” you suggested.

“Sounds like Ada,” Leon said.

“Faith?”

“We’re not religious.”

“So, I’m guessing Grace is out of the question, too?”

“Could be a middle name.”

“We need a first name, Leon.”

“Okay. How about Lily?”

“Lily Kennedy? I don’t like the way it rhymes.”

“You’re impossible. ”

“This is an important decision. We’re choosing the name she’ll have for the rest of her life.”

“How about Candice?” 

“No, she’ll get that stupid dick joke her whole life.”

“Dick joke?” “You know, ‘can dis dick fit in your mouth’?”

Leon laughed so hard that he got teary eyed. 

“It’s not that funny!”

“Okay, fine. What about Alexa?”

Before you could reject it, you heard, “ I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that, ” coming from the kitchen. You gave Leon a look of amusement.

“Nevermind,” he said.

“ Okay ,” the robotic female voice responded.

“I’m not talking to you!” Leon shouted at her, making you laugh. He was such an old man. 

“How about instead of yelling at her, go turn her off,” you suggested.

“Sorry, I’m not very good at turning women off. I tend to turn them on.”

“You’re so stupid.” You playfully smacked him on the arm, pretending not to laugh at his joke.

“God, this is so hard,” you groaned, leaning back into the couch.

“Hey, babe?”

“Do not say ‘you know what else is hard?’” You mocked his voice. 

“I was not going to say that,” he said, but he was a terrible liar. He got this sheepish look on his face whenever he tried.

“Yes, you were.” 

“You’re no fun,” he pouted.

“I’ll be fun if you can be helpful.”

Leon’s phone vibrated in his pocket. It was funny to watch him struggle to operate a smartphone. He’d resisted getting one until his flip phone finally gave out.

After reading the text he’d received, Leon said, “I forgot. I told Hunnigan I’d turn in Matilda.”

“Matilda! What about Matilda?”

“My gun?”

“For a name. Matilda Kennedy? It’s cute right? We could call her

Tilly or Millie or May.”

He thought for a moment.

“I can’t deny that there is something poetic about it, bringing a life into this world and getting rid of the thing that I used to kill people…”

He trailed off, feeling guilty. It was obvious to you that Leon had to kill to survive in life or death scenarios, but the fact had always remained unspoken. 

“I hate thinking about that,” he said, much quieter now. 

“Don’t think of it like that. You didn’t kill people, you killed zombies . To save actual, living people.” You took his chin in your hand and tilted his face towards yours, making him look you in the eye when you reminded him of the most important thing, “You saved yourself.”

You watched a tear drip down his cheek. When you wiped it away, he took your hand and kissed it. 

“Up until you came into my life, I was living for others - for the people I couldn’t save, for the people I might be able to save. I was living because I felt guilty. I was living out of some duty to others, not because I actually wanted to be here.”

You tried not to cry, but you failed miserably when Leon said, “Now, I’m alive because I love you, and I want to be with you.”

You probably would’ve cried regardless, but the hormonal changes of pregnancy made you ugly cry. You were wiping snot on your sleeve, knowing that the whole box of tissues would be gone in a second if you bothered to go and get them. 

Leon kissed your wet cheeks and then leaned down and kissed your belly. “Most of all, I’m excited that I get to live to meet the much cuter Matilda.”

“So that’s what we’re calling her?” You asked excitedly.

“Yeah, I think it’s perfect, since I’ll need a new sidekick to carry around now that the other Matilda is going away.”

“She’s gonna be your sidekick? What if she’s a mommy’s girl?”

“Nah, she’ll be a daddy’s girl.”

“And I wouldn’t blame her if she was, you are a good daddy.”

“Is someone trying to get daddy’s attention?” Leon looked back up at you with a grin. 

You tried to hide your puffy eyes and red nose, but he pulled your hands away from your face.

“Don’t hide your cute face from me,” he said. He captured your mouth in a kiss with his hands gently placed on your sides. He was so gentle with you, spending the rest of the day cuddling with you on the couch, watching movies and talking about little Matilda. Your little girl was already stealing Leon's attention. You were almost jealous, but you imagined him holding her and just the thought was undeniably cute. She could have all of daddy's attention tonight because you'd get Leon tomorrow. 

The next morning you woke up with Leon pressed up against your back. You could feel his cock hard against your ass. He was sleeping, though. Would it be wrong if you just touched him? You decided it was too far to reach your hands into his sweatpants, but figured he wouldn’t be mad if you just placed your hand over the fabric. He gripped your wrist and it startled you, you were horrified, thinking he was pissed at you for touching him, but he held your hand there, brought it closer.

“Leon?” you whispered, unsure if he was awake or not, but he didn’t respond. 

Your tiny wrist was engulfed by his large hand and you couldn’t get out of his grasp, so you played by his rules and touched him the way his sleepy-self wanted you to. You’d barely done anything when you heard a groan escape his lips. Was he really asleep? “Leon?” you said a bit louder now.

“Mmm, yeah, babe?” he mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Are you awake?” He nodded slightly and murmured what sounded like a ‘yes’.

“Do you want me to keep going?”

“Uh-huh,” he said, clearer, eyes fluttering open.

“Then let go of my wrist.”

He let go and allowed his arm to dangle over you lazily, but you pushed him onto his back so you could get a better angle. Maybe Leon’s brain was fuzzy, but his cock was fully alert that morning. He opened his eyes to find your lips wrapped around the tip of his dick. As usual, Leon wouldn’t let you be the caretaker, so he took charge, peeling you off him - earning a hum of disatisfaction from you - and rolling you onto your side, so that he was spooning you again. You assumed he was going to try to cuddle you back to sleep, but much to your delight, his hands found their way to your panties, snatching them from your body and tossing them across the room. You were left in nothing but one of his old t-shirts, and as one might suspect, Leon’s hands traveled up under the fabric in search of your tits - which weren’t hard to find these days. 

He moaned into the back of your neck while he played with them. It was too bad that Leon only had two hands because he had to forego one breast in order to rub your clit. That was a short lived experience because once he realized you were wet enough for him, he had his dick lined up at your entrance. 

“Please,” he mumbled, as if there was a chance in hell you’d say no.

“Please,” you echoed. 

Leon tried to be gentle, you could tell he was really trying, but god it was hard - he was hard. Which was surprising considering the impressive facial he’d given you the day before. It probably made him more aroused, now that he had an accurate picture in his mind of his cock between your tits. He’d never get over it. Leon was a good man, but he was still a man. 

Leon’s hands were groping your tits again as he fucked you from behind, meaning that you had to do yourself the favor of playing with your clit. It was a small price to pay, and in fact, it was hot to see Leon act so unabashedly selfish that morning. His composure was spent on not knocking too hard at your cervix, so he’d given up on trying to hold back any of his moans. He was usually such a talker during sex, it didn't matter whether it was praise or something naughty, he said more words during sex sometimes than he did at the dinner table. But that morning, few words slipped past his lips, only moans, angelic and lewd all at once. 

“ I love you ,” he said when he came because he was a perv and a sap. 

You’d said something closer to ‘ Oh fuck, daddy! ’, which you hoped relayed the same message. 

You made sure to tell him later, seconds before falling back asleep, “by the way, I love you, too.”

“I know, but I love you more.”

You wanted to argue, but you silently agreed to a truce when your sleepy minds decided to get an extra hour or two of shut eye. You’d gotten a full night's rest, but it was Leon’s vacation, and the DSO was going to have to snatch him out of your arms if they wanted him that badly. 

Because Leon S. Kennedy was yours. 

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

Goretober in Review!!

i went and actually did an art all 31 days in october, and you know what that means?

31 data points with which to make unnecessary graphs!!!!

first off: shoutout to @crisis-arts for making the prompt list. i kinda did whatever i felt like but the inspirational power of a good prompt list cannot be understated. now look at my graphs.

first off: how much time i spent on these fuckers. over the month i decreased in average time spent on each art, which makes sense lol. the red for days 3, 5, and 18 were because i did the initial sketches in pencil and simply colored over them, but day 31 was because it took an hour and a half to do all that zombie makeup and that counts. the green days are from when i spent a significant amount of time working on ideas i eventually ended up scrapping. you can find them here!!

notable stats:

longest time : Day 8, x-ray - 5 hr 44 min.

shortest time: Days 12, burning, and 13, headache - 20 min.

average time: 1 hr 35 min.

next up: when did i post these motherfuckers. also unsurprisingly, i started posting them later in the day as the month progressed. also, i was only late for one day, and it was by one minute! i'm proud of that, actually.

earliest post: Day 31, trick or treat - 9:17am

latest post: Day 12, burning - 12:00am

average posting time: 1:34pm

also, its interesting to note the connection between the amount of time i spent on each art and the time i posted them. the three latest posting times, days 8, 12, and 26, correspond with the longest, shortest, and a fairly average amount of work time. WHAT DOES IT MEAN...

you may have noticed i didn't do gore for every prompt. this is because i couldn't come up with any gory idea that actually felt good enough to post. so here's what i did instead. have fun figuring out which arts i classified as which, or whatever

oooo artsy graphs!!! theres definitely correlation between these three factors and the amount of time it took to "finish" each art. but i spent too much time on these graphs already im not doing that.

oh yeah, and here's all of them in one place! the stars are my personal favorites :)

[akookminsupporter]

Hi Rosie,

Your calm and logical explanation about Sapporo/Tokyo was excellent. ✨

I’m a Japanese expat and I was just in Tokyo for a visit. Trust me, I didn’t go stalking these locations, but as a former local, I recognize these places. lol

The restaurant photo of JM was taken at a curry restaurant chain Coco Ichibanya location in Shinjuku. Mind you, all Coco Ichibanyas have identical interior and they all use the same serving wares and signage/menu/decor but I saw some J-army did some sleuthing to identify the specific store (complete with cosplaying recreating the photo at the same table😳).

The Dior/Celine storefront photo was taken in front of Ginza Six, which is about 7 or 8 subway rides away on Marunouchi Line.

Assuming that Kookmin flew into Haneda Airport from Gimpo, above places are all easily explorable. Area is around 30 min car ride from the airport (if no traffic).

Not sure if Are You Sure is going to include their time in Tokyo (so far only Sapporo has been mentioned), but if I’m a betting person I’d put my money on Kookmin being together doing these activities in Tokyo—JK being behind the camera of the IG photo JM posted. Geographically, it makes sense. Mind you, I don’t know if either of them had any work schedules in Tokyo.

Also, Tokyo rarely gets covered in snow nowadays—especially in November. The 3 sec GoPro footage has to be from Sapporo.

Just wanted to share my proverbial two cents…

✨💜🫰💜✨

Oh, hello Anon! Thank you!

If I remember correctly, some fans went to the restaurant where Jimin took the photo, and one of the people there confirmed that Jimin was with someone. The description they gave of the person with him matched Jungkook.

The time they spent in Tokyo seems to have been mainly due to Jungkook's work commitments in the city. He was promoting his album, doing some interviews, recording a performance, and recording a visualizer for his song 'Hate You'. To date, we don't know if Jimin also had work commitments in the city during those days, so for now, it appears he was just accompanying Jungkook until they could travel to Hokkaido. Basically, same thing he did in the USA.

We will see if they include something from Tokyo.

[reallychaoticwoo]

Hi, again babe!! Idk if you write for individual characters, but would you be down to Mingi being jealous / possessive over reader?? Sometimes like reader talk to a man being friendly and he’s seething. Do it as long or as short as you’d like. Love you💕💕

YESSSSSSSS!!! I liiiveee for possessive and for Mingi 🫣 don't come at me lol.

Pairing: Mingi x reader (duh)

Warnings: MDNI!!! 18+ ONLY!! Possesive bf mingi, slight degrading (Mingi calls yn a slut), lottsss of cussing (sorry, not sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️), rough sex, hair pulling, squirting, I thinkkk that's it? As always let me know if I missed something 🖤

Mingi has always been a bit possessive. So, of course, it wasn't any different when it came to you, HIS girlfriend. You'd been dating for some months now, and you'd grown accustomed to his displays of possession. His hand wrapped tightly around your waist every time the two of you went out together. Him slowly leaving more and more of his items and clothes at your apartment. Oh, and your favorite, the necklace, he got you with his name on it, practically begging you to never take it off. And you didn't. To be quite honest, you love that he wanted to claim you. He'd let the whole world know you were his, and he was yours. Not that this didn't come with some downfalls, but it was never something you two couldn't move past.

-

Tonight, you'd be meeting all of his roommates. The only girl in a house full of 8 men. You'd questioned if he'd thought this through or not, but he seemed so excited to have you meet the people he considered family that you just went with it. Pulling up to the rather large house, you did a quick once over to make sure you looked presentable. Something Mingi definitely took note of. However, you quickly reassured him that you just wanted to make sure you looked goof for him, like someone he could be proud to call his.

Walking into the foyer, you looked around, shocked by how clean the place was. It was honestly a gorgeous house, and you definitely couldn't tell there were 8 men living there.

"So you must be y/n, Mingi has told us so much about you. I'm Seonghwa." He introduced himself smiling politely.

"It's nice to meet you too. Thanks for being okay with me coming over tonight." You shook his hand and smiled back.

"Woah Mingi, I think you may have left out some important information about your girl!" A loud voice said, coming from around the corner and into view. A shorter man with half blonde half black hair and a huge grin on his face.

Mingi clenched his jaw, "And what might that be Woo?".

"Uh, she's fucking hot?!" The shorter of the men said eyeing you up and down before shooting you a playful wink.

And with that, Mingi had his arm around your waist, pulling you as close to his as humanly possible. "Yeah, she is. And she's mine so keep your fucking winks to yourself." He was already getting pissed.

-

You'd eventually made it to the living room where everyone was sitting on the large sectional or leaning against it on the floor. Some playing games on the TV, a few scrolling on their phones, one seemingly only focused on his laptop with headphones on. Mingi had sat you on his lap to avoid anyone getting too close to you. Wooyoung, however, didn't seem to care that you were sitting on your boyfriends lap. Walking up behind the couch and throwing his arms around yours and Mingi's shoulders.

"So is this why it took you so long to bring her over, Min? Afraid one of us might take her away from you?" Wooyoung chuckled, big cheshire grin across his face. You blushed a little at the compliment, and oh boy, did Mingi catch onto that. His hands tightened on your waist. Wooyoung leaned in a little closer to your face, "You know, Mingi probably didn't say anything because he doesn't even realize how fucking hot you actually are. You deserve to be reminded constantly, shown off, not kept a secret". He shot a devilish glare at mingi. Your crossed your legs and gulped a bit flustered, and even more nervous.

Mingi had enough. "Fuck this, y/n get up now." He stood up so fast you almost fell from being lunged off his lap. He caught you by the wrist and started dragging you down the hall to his room.

"Mingi what the hell?? Where are we going? What are you doing?" You asked him trying to understand even remotely what was going through his brain right now.

"Oh don't act so fucking innocent princess, don't think I didn't catch you crossing your legs at his words. Or the way he had you blushing earlier when he called you hot." Mingi was seething. He will be damned if another man gets your attention. And he's about to remind you that you're his and only his. He's going to remind you how you don't need or want anyone but him.

-

As soon as you two were in his room he slammed the door locking it behind him. His eyes dark and his expression somewhere between pissed and sinister. "Take it off." It wasn't a request it was a demand.

Fuck you loved this side of him so much. You knew he was about to make sure everyone in this house had no questions as to who you belonged to. And you knew he was about to ruin you in the absolute BEST way. Stripping down to absolutely nothing Mingi pushed you against the door pressing his lips against yours hungrily. He wasted no time pulling off his belt and dropping his pants. Immediately grabbing your ass and holding you firmly in the air as he lined the tip of his cock with your already drenched hole. With one swift motion he bucked up into you, fully submerging himself. You lifted your hand to cover your mouth but he caught it in his before holding your hands above your head. "Don't you dare try and be fucking quiet. I want you to scream so loud the whole fucking block will know who you belong to." He was basically growling in your ear. Fucking up into you relentlessly, biting and sucking your neck harshly leaving a trail of marks down to your collar bone. "F-fuck.. Fuck Mingi...ahhhh" You whined, your legs starting to shake as the pressure in your stomach started to build faster than it ever had before. Mingi started to slow down before placing you back on the ground. "Mingi... please.. please more.. don't stop" You begged and whined but he just spun your body around to face the door. "Hands on the door, spread your fucking legs. You want to act like a little slut, getting all flustered from fucking Wooyoung. You're going to get fucked like a slut and the whole fucking house is going to hear you." You shivered at his words, quickly following directs. And he was right back in you pushing your back down to bend you forward further. "Keep your fucking hands on the door, I want everyone to hear how hard my little slut takes me. I, urgh- I want Wooyoung to hear how fucking -ah - how fucking drunk you get off MY dick", he was ramming into you mercilessly. Hitting so deep he wrapped his hand around to your stomach, "you feel that princess? You think any of them could fuck you this good? Could rearrange your guts and make you scream like I can?" He pulled your hair making you straighten slightly. Keeping your hands on the door you tried to shake your head but his grip on your hair was too tight. "I asked you a fucking question. I expect words y/n" He punctuated with a painstakingly deep thrust causing you to fall forward letting out a scream. "No" You said breathlessly through blissful sobs. "No, what?" He asked, another deep thrust. "No, no one -aaahhhhh- fuck- no one can fuck me like you baby- fuuucccckk - I'm so close". You were a crying whiney mess. "Don't you fucking come till I tell you to come baby, now be a good girl and tell me who's fucking pussy this is"

"Yours - fuck - it's yours Mingi, all yours. Please, please" You were begging to let go. You needed it, you were falling apart barely holding yourself up, your legs giving out.

Mingi not letting up for even a second pulled your hair back again, the door slamming with each and every thrust he's giving you. "Louder baby girl, fuck, say it louder".

"FUUUCCCKKK MINGI - MY PUSSY IS ALL YOURS- ONLY YOURS!!"

"Good girl, now come for me baby. Let me feel you loose yourself on my dick."

You let out a glass shattering gutteral scream, Mingis name the last sound to leave your lips, shaking uncontrollably, your vision white, and your release, everywhere. Mingi carried you ti the bed laying you down until you could regain some form of consciousness. Grabbing you a water from his mini fridge, he pulled his pants back up and sat on the bed next to you.

Once you came back to you smiled faintly, "I should have you get jealous more often. That was sooooo fucking good." A breathy chuckle leaving you as you propped yourself up to take a sip of the water.

"I don't think that's a good idea baby, but I'm happy to fuck you however you like, whenever you want." He said grinning, placing kisses your your forehead and cheeks.

"Now, let's go make an appearance to make sure they got the point." He said pulling you up into his arms once again, your legs wrapped around his waist and his hands firmly on your ass.

-

Sitting down on the couch pulling you into his lap again, he glared around the room, making sure to lock eyes with Wooyoung. Pulling you in closer to his chest, he gave the younger man the biggest shit eating grin before placing a soft kiss to the top of your head. "MY beautiful princess." He said, resting his head on yours.

** As always, this is purely fictional! This doesn't not represent the idol in any way, shape, or form. **

**Not really proofread, so please don't come for me. 🖤 Thank you as always for your support and I really hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

[memoriesndew]

day 8/30 || 20/08/2024 || memoriesndew gbc✰

reflection:

𐙚 sorry for not updating. I've just been a little stressed, but I've been trying my best to keep up with this challenge, and now we're on day 8. Today I was able to do a little workout just 100× jumping jacks and 10× burpees (might increase it if I have the capacity), I also took a 30mins walk, I was able to study korean for only 15 mins bcs it was quite late and I completed 4 work tasks the life planner is really coming together

achievements:

updated 4 parts of the life planner template (plan to update 4 more tomorrow)

practiced Korean for 28 minutes (so close lol)

went to church

completed my morning routine

stretched

habit tracking:

30mins+ daily movement 10mins+ journaling 30mins+ Korean study complete 2+ work tasks quiet time

photos credit: pinterest

🎧 Haske ~ Kaestrings

🎀 caught up with manhwas

photo credits: pinterest

[xstrawberryshiftsx]

How I met my better cr s/o PT1

based off a dream and a playlist!

part two!

Dove: that’s me! (I’m obvs not using my real name, plus my irl one is pretty weird so it suits lol)

Caster: my s/o

James: casters bestfriend

Bell: Casters twin sister

Jade, Min-Jun, Cindy, Clay: my best friends/friend group

I found this playlist on Spotify and my mind has never been more pleased

also no judgement this is super Mary sue and cringey but let me live

‘who’s that chick?’

James asked as he crushed his Up&Go in his hand before trying to throw it-and miss-into the trash bin

‘I don’t fucking know’

Caster replied not looking up from his phone, it was like 8:30 and he didn’t have the energy for James gossip.

‘nah-mate seriously’ he jabbed Caster in the shoulder impatiently, he didn’t answer but put his phone down and looked in the direction that James was pointing to.

it was a girl-she was a golden blonde and light eyed, freckles littered her cheeks and she looked around 5’3-5’5. She was laughing loudly, holding one of her friends hands and Caster noticed that when she smiled two dimples showed and that she had slightly pointer then average canines.

‘Wow a girl-crazy’ he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

James rambled on for a moment about blondes and how the school never got new people-which was definitely not true, they lived in Sydney there was always gonna be new people.

The girl was surrounded by one of the main groups in the school year, this wasn’t an American movie and there wasn’t really a ‘popular’ group but they where some of the friendliest and well known people in the year, Clay, Min-jun, Cindy and Jade circled around her in a weird bubble, Cindy pointed around the school yard showing her random sections and Min-Jun not so subtly gestured to random people and telling her about them.

‘anyway-that’s why I think brunettes are wife material and blondes are friend material’

Sighing Caster turned away from the girl and back to his friend

‘wow that’s crazy interesting dude-really deep’

not understanding the sarcasm James grinned and nodded looking pleased with himself

‘still tho what a babe’

TIMESKIP

Dove watched as her friends chatted on the train ride home, she’d known these guys since kindy but it was weird to finally been in the same actual school.

‘hey you all good?’ Clay asked suddenly noticing her quietness

the others looked up to her direction

‘hmm? Yeah I’m good thanks! Just been a long day’ she replied softly

‘I’ve got headphones if you wanna listen to some music and have some down time?’ Cindy said smiling as she rested a head on Doves shoulder.

‘Nah it’s okay-mine and Jades stop is soon-thanks tho’

Nodding Cindy got off her shoulder and turned to discuss some politics thing with Min-Jun. Eventually the train stopped and Jade and her both got off waving goodbye to their friends as they did.

…

‘so…-what’d you think about the school?’

‘oh! Uh-it’s nice-loud and full on but nice I guess’

Jade took Doves hand as they walked through their street the streets lights shining down on them.

Jade had moved in with Dove a few months back after her family decided to move back to England-jade had had a right fit about it and ended up staying behind to her delight.

‘As long as your happy’ Jade smiled, the street lights shone on her dark thick curls making them shine in golden light, everything about Jade was beautiful-from her golden brown doe eyes to her smile…a perfect picture.

‘I’m always happy’ Dove replied squeezing Jades hand

‘yeah-I know’

‘Oi-Cass!’

Bell barged into Casters room holding a twenty dollar note in her hand.

He looked up from his desk his night glasses resting on his nose

‘what?!’ He groaned shutting his laptop and looking over at his twin.

Bell and Cass were eerily similar-only in appearance of course- they both had 1C dark hair and almost black eyes, they were pale and tall, the only difference was Bell was a decent person to be around.

‘I’m on my period…I-uh would personally be super appreciate if you decided to go to the corner store and buy me some snacks’ Bell crossed her arms and handed him the twenty dollars.

Sighing Cass got up from his chair.

‘yeah okay-what do you want?’

Dove stared at their bedroom ceiling tracing the patterns with her eyes as she did. They turned over in her bed and twisted around trying to get comfortable. her uncle had recommended her to go to bed earlier but she couldn’t find it in herself to fall asleep.

she pulled on a jacket over her pjs and hopped out of bed walking out of her bedroom and through the halls and into the kitchen to where her uncle was having a beer

‘hey I’m going to the general store is that okay?’ She asked grabbing her wallet on the counter.

he looked up and smiled

‘sure pickle, just stay in the open streets and don’t be out for long-oh and keep your phone turned on’

Dove smiled and nodded before walking out the door

…

the door jingled as Cass walked through the store, going straight to the Asian snack section.

he looked down at the list Bell gave him

A cup of ramen (spicy beef flavour)

Two cans of melon soda

oreo and strawberry pocky sticks

Bin Bin rice crackers

white rabbit candy

‘Uh-um’

Cass looked up realising he was blocking the aisle

‘oh sorry-‘ it was the girl-the new girl from school, he stared at her not expecting to meet her especially not here, he decided to be polite for once and start a conversation.

‘your the new girl right-uh Daisy?’ He didn’t mean it but his voice came out uninterested and mean

‘Dove-my names Dove…not daisy’ she said awkwardly not really in the mood for a chat

‘huh-that’s a weird fucking name’ again he didn’t mean to sound so off putting but he always somehow ended up with that tone

‘Excuse me? No need to be a cunt’

she tilted her head at him confused at his staring and comments, she narrowed her eyes before walking past him.

the boy was cute-and tall but she was put off by his weird gaze, plus what a dick. He watched as she walked past him straight towards the pocky section-he watched in horror as she grabbed both the last strawberry and the last Oreo pocky box.

Against his better judgement he spoke

‘wait-uh do you really have to get those…ones?’ she turned around looking at him an eyebrow raised

‘Huh?’ She didn’t say it meanly but it was clear she was on edge

‘the pocky-those are the last two’

‘Well your obviously blind since there’s like a bunch here’ she gestured to the wall behind them

‘yeah but I need those two’ he said feeling impatient-he was cold and he could already feel Bells comment if he came back late AND without her favourite pocky flavours.

‘No one needs anything’ Dove scowled crossing her arms and glaring up at him

He laughed clearly frustrated

‘yeah well your wrong cause I need those’

Scoffing Dove walked past him and straight to the checkout

‘hey-wait please’ he groaned-shit, his mum was right his attitude was beginning to be a problem.

Dove walked out the door pleased with themselves leaving Caster alone in the shop defeated

@starrihideshere @livingsecret @ottaorca @gaiaexploreslife @catschasingstars @lovebvni @morganshifts @chloesreality @zipperrants

PT2?

this is super cringey and I absolutely hate myself for writing this 💀

[chu-diaries]

140 days of productivity: day 4/140

Today was such a long day because I woke up at 4:30 am for no reason at all. Suddenly, I was all alert and ready for my day. I started my day with some journaling and connecting with my ancestors, then I made the ugliest and most non-aesthetic tapioca of my life lol, went to the grocery shop and then I worked like crazy until 6 pm. I really thought I would be able to finish my candle shop website today, but I only managed to upload the products and their descriptions… I still have so much to do! I don't want to have a nervous breakdown or anything like that before I sell my first candle, so today I want to be kind to myself and allow myself a few more days to finish all the preparations for launching my brand.

���: day 23/29

💧: 1,5 L

🏋🏻‍♀️: workout (45 min)

🏃🏻‍♀️: 1690 steps

🕯️: worked on my scented candle company website (8 h)

🪘: took some notes about misogyny and other abuses in religious communities (1 h)

🇰🇷: 🚫

🎧: marcha de Maria - Douglas germano

📺: watched Pixar’s Coco

📚: 🚫

🛑: 10 days pick-free

💊: vitamin c, omega 3, magnesium and iron supplements

[kaxenart]

Rusty's Knees

So the 30MM Steel Haze kit has zero knee articulation and this guy did a tweak to give more leg movement

Except he uses one piece from a 30MS kit and I don't collect 30 Minutes Sisters and I could not be bothered to order an $8+shipping option parts kit for Two Hexagons.

First, I 3D printed a part, but the different plastics didn't really stick together nicely and I didn't like the structural integrity of it.

So I was like was fuck it, let's just print the whole part.

Ironically, it's one of the few times where my filament printer would be faster than my resin printer (6 mins vs 30 mins)

But my filament printer is a piece of shit.

CREALITY CR10, MY BELOATHED

ELEGOO SATURN 4 ULTRA, MY BELOVED

Because I am a moron who can't measure even when using digital calipers that can't possibly be more accurate, it took 3 prints, but I got there.

It's still got less range of movement than in-game (was kind of surprised how forward and upward the piece goes when I booted up the game to check), but you can only shave so much from the plastic holding the pieces together.

Now to print the one for the other leg and spray paint them bronze.

It's a pretty basic-ass model. I have zero temperament for modeling anything that's not a face lol

[tallymonster]

Memories of Us Chapter 11

AO3 link

Masterlist because I'm too lazy to link all 10 chapters

A/N: So this is a bit of a preface to this chapter mostly because I'm a little nervous to post this. This chapter will contain sex. This is the first time I have been confident enough to write smut lol oh yeah and there's other stuff too but the smut is the thing that took me a min. Basically, sorry if it sucks lol.

Thanks to @micropoe10 and @leomonae for the idea of it and some lore/ fact checking.

All inspired by the art of @cheesy-cryptid ❤️ thanks for letting me use the fan art as inspiration

Chapter 11. Gold and Rust.

Now that things had settled down, Octavia could finally try to tackle his Szarr painting mystery. She had stolen some time by herself in the painting archives to take a closer look at the collection. 

It's dark and cold in the isolated storage room in the basement, the necessary environment to take care of a polyptych of 8 paintings depicting Cazador and 7 subjects. The grand artworks were meant to be hung in a giant pyramid formation that took up at least 8 feet by 10 feet. For now, they hang off the floating wall racks that keep them from being damaged.

Octavia flipped through the rack, slowly uncovering each subject, all of them were so similar in composition, with a few small differences separating them. 

They were all connected by the red ribbons that flow from each of the 7 subjects. All gathering at the top connecting to Cazador. His body wrapped around with the blood red ribbons, as if he was pulling the strings on these unwilling puppets. 

 They all have their faces obscured by something either directly in front of their faces or by the shadows cast around them. She continues to flip through, one by one until she stops at one; and as she stares, she can't help but feel like this looks like Astarion but not exactly the same? 

 His right arm was raised slightly above his head, a red ribbon wrapped around his hand. He wore a crown on top of fluffy white curls, attached to it was a white veil, with blood on the edge of it. His face was so close to Astarion’s own, but the jaw and nose weren't right. The eyes on the other hand…

Through canvas and paint, it feels as if they’re burning a hole directly at her. The face looks melancholic yet hauntingly beautiful. Its canvas is damaged towards the center, where the rest of the face would be most visible. The cold feeling starts to creep up her spine, as if their sorrows are being released into her. She can see the pain in all their faces. The only one that appears clearly is the face of the man who did this to them.

How ironic that they have all been banished to the shadows yet again. 

Octavia is so wrapped up in the mystery of it all. Why would someone go through the trouble of saving all these just to let them rot in the dark? She wants to finish solving this, but it seems like she’ll have to do more digging around in the book Astarion gave her. There was only so much time in the day…if only she could convince him to let her take the book home? 

Octavia hears the archive door open and close, but no footsteps follow. She turns and calls out “Hello? Anyone there?” Silence. She calls out again "I'm almost done here.” No answer, just the eerie atmosphere calling back. She ignores the sensation and continues to examine the portraits. The feeling of being watched was already high, and this new factor being added certainly isn't helping. She tries to keep working but the heaviness in the air was becoming too much to bear.

For once, she listens to the little voice in her mind and turns to leave. As she passes an empty display case, she notices a shadow next to her, but the mirror only shows her.. She stares at her reflection, her heart pounding with fear. The cold chill from before settles in her stomach before dissipating. 

“Octavia? What are you doing down here?” From the dimly lit corridor, Astarion appears as if out of thin air. Octavia turns away from the mirror with a surprised yelp, and shakes her head. “Why am I not surprised it's you? Somehow you always sneak up on me. Didn't you hear me call out earlier? Gods, you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” She exhales shakily, her heart still beating wildly in her chest. 

 “You didn't answer me, dear…why are you down here? There's nothing here but pictures and clothing of people who I would assume are better off dead? You don't want to waste your day down here in the dungeons do you?” Astarion finished with a smirk, his hand reaching out and caressing her cheek. 

“On second thought….I do have you here all to myself..” he trails off suggestively, one arm wrapping around her waist. Octavia felt the heat quickly rise to her cheeks “You're the worst. First you scare the shit out of me, and then you get all flirty. It's like you're trying to get any type of reaction out of me…anyway I was working, you know because we're at work? ” she gently releases his arm from her waist, holding his hand instead. “Besides, it's not like we don't constantly run into each other, rather convenient, don't you think?” 

Octavia can't help but be amused at the look on Astarion’s face. He has almost the same look he had when he'd been caught sneaking into Octavia’s garden. She smiles and drops his hand. “How about I let you come find me again? Since you're awfully good at that.” 

Octavia walks over to the door leading out to the staircase up to the main office floors. She turns back to Astarion with a coquettish grin, and leaves. 

Suddenly he's alone. Astarion wanders into the room that Octavia was just in. He sees the red tattered logbook on the table in the center, along with the paintings hanging on the wall. As he stares at them he remembers when they came into his possession. The memory floods back into his mind, he smiles and closes his eyes letting the feeling overtake him.

—-------------------------

After feeding on Tav’s blood, Astarion convinces her to come back into Cazador’s manor to pilfer through it before anyone could find the most valuable things. Perhaps a bit of vandalism if the mood struck.They were hand in hand as they walked through the abandoned hallways. 

As they pass a long stretch of rooms, Astarion begins to recognize where they are. “Darling, would you like to help me in a little bit of debauchery?” He looks down at Tav through his dark gray lashes, holding her hand up to his and gives it a kiss. She flashes him a knowing grin, but plays up her response. “Oh my love, whatever could you be playing at?” 

“Hmm…nothing special…just a little dream of mine..” Astarion’s devilish smile turns into a lustful gaze that burns through Tav. Her cheeks suddenly felt hot as did the rest of her body.  “Well then,” the lovestruck smile she wore fading to a playful smirk, “lead the way, my Star.” 

Astarion takes her hand and winds down a hallway, then another door, and two more turns, finally they reach a giant ornate gold colored door. He turns to Tav, pressing his back against the door. 

“The only time I ever laid eyes on this damn entranceway, was when we were luring innocent fools to what was behind it. Each time felt like another stake being driven into me, taken out only to be replaced by the rats he fed us.”

He frowns and holds Tav’s hand, “I'm so sorry for how I've been acting lately. This whole thing..” he waves his hand, motioning around them. “ It's just a lot to process. I think I owe you an explanation..it's just that…” he trails off, and is brought back when Tav kisses the top of his hand. “Star, you don't owe anyone anything, especially not me. You don't have to tell me anything if you aren't ready yet.” She smiled and rubs his cheek with her thumb, “I love you.” 

Astarion smiles knowing that he can't give her everything she wants. He ignores the things he wants to say, he can't let her know how scared he is to lose her some day. He swallows his words instead and leads her into Cazador’s bedroom. 

“Come with me, my moonflower, indulge my depraved-” as Astarion opens the door, his face falls as he's greeted by a gigantic pyramid formation of 8 paintings. “Wow…what the fuck?”, Tav breathes out. 

Astarion immediately frowns, he huffs angrily “Are you fucking-” he walks over to the wall “I remember this whole day! Cazador made us sit for these stupid portraits for days, not feeding us. We had to keep the same poses for hours at a time..and of course he hired amateurs. That doesn't even look like me.” 

Tav wanted to tell him that it actually did look a lot like him, but she didn't want to upset him. As she looked at the paintings she was noticing the details more. 

Cazador was on the top of course, with Violet, Dalyria, and Astarion underneath him. Astarion figures since they not only were the first Cazador turned but some of the most useful, so he has to humiliate them by showing them by ranking it seems. The top three in a way. 

Following underneath that were Petras, Yousen, Leon and Aurelia. The most worthless ones, in his bastard master’s eyes. Not that Astarion didn't exactly disagree, in particular about Petras, the stupid asshole was always trying to compete with Astarion. He even wore some of Astarion’s old clothes on occasion.

Astarion felt the anger rise inside, he remembered sitting for these stupid portraits. The long hours spent stroking Cazador’s ego by indulging another one of his ostentatious ideas. 

“The one thing that pisses me off the most is that he enchanted these to keep track of how many victims we brought. I don't know how to make it appear but I saw it once. When I brought one of the streetwalkers from the Lower City back, the second he was at her throat the frame started to glow and I saw a little tally mark show up. I was to afraid to say anything, but I never forgot.” Astarion was breathing heavily, his chest heaving angrily. 

In his fury he runs up to the wall, practically climbing up it to rip down the framed painting of Cazador.

His hands tear at the canvas and wood. A torment of emotion flooding through him. “Astarion, wait!!” Tav runs towards him as he continues to tear through the fabric of the other paintings. She barely gets him to stop as he grabs the canvas depicting his own face. 

Tav sprints towards Astarion, pulling him off the wall, he's breathing heavily and his eyes are fully glossed over. “Astarion! What's going on, love, what's wrong?” she touches his shoulder and he slowly comes back to her. In his frustration, she sees tears building up in his eyes. She pulls him into a hug and he starts softly crying, holding onto her tightly. 

Tav looks around and sees Cazador’s bed, she pulls at Astarion, “Would you like to sit on the bed? I feel like it would be more comfortable than the floor?” He nods, as she helps him up, guiding him to the enormous bed. 

They sit for a minute, Tav holding him close as he nuzzles into her chest. Neither one says anything. After a few moments Tav breaks the silence. “I'm sorry. You didn't deserve any of it. None of you did.” Astarion pulls away from her, he caresses her cheek and pulls her in for a kiss. 

He starts slowly kissing down her chin, moving to her neck. As Tav lets her head fall back she taps on Astarion’s shoulder causing him to pull away. “We don't have to, Star…at least not here. I mean this is his bed…who knows what fucked up things happened…” she trails off and looks at Astarion. 

He shakes his head and plants a kiss above the bite marks on her neck. “My love, I want this. I want to do this for myself. This is why I led you in here in the first place. My choice was taken away so many times before, and I want this with you.” Astarion speaks into her skin as he kisses along the faint wounds. 

“Besides, you did say you were up for some debauchery…” he lets his fangs graze her skin, knowing the sound she would let fall out. 

Tav breathes out a soft moan, Astarion can feel her pulse spiking under his lips, “Aah..are you sure?” she asks, her body already betraying her hesitation. Astarion trails his fingers up her thigh, giving it a firm squeeze when he reaches her hip. He hums into her neck, sucking at the flesh. 

“Would you care to indulge me and make some new memories of this room?” Astarion pulls away guiding Tav to the middle of the bed, he lays her down and gently kisses her. He moves his body on top of hers, leaving a bit of space to move one of his hands down her chest leaving soft trails on the cotton tunic Tav wore. 

She relaxes a bit as he raises one of her legs up over his thigh, angling her waist closer to his. Instinctively, he rolls his hips into hers, earning him another soft gasp from her mouth. Astarion’s hand on her leg moves down cupping the swell of her ass, giving it a squeeze. 

Tav moans into their kiss and playfully nips at his bottom lip. Astarion pulls away and continues his kisses down to her neck again, his hand at her waist, pressing down into it as he rolls his hips deeper against her. “Oh fuck…yes..” she breathes out with a hiss, one of her hands wraps itself in his hair, tugging gently. 

He moves his hands to the waistband of her trousers and starts unlacing them. Tav moves her hips up to help him remove them, as Astarion follows his slow kisses down her chest. Once her legs are free, he spreads them and settles in the space between. Astarion starts to slide his fingers under the tunic, lifting it up and over Tav’s arms. 

She arches her back as his fingers ghost over her breasts, pinching one of her nipples, then sucking it in his mouth. Tav bucks her hips into him, making him groan against her. “Hmmm it's not fair I'm practically naked and you're still fully clothed..i think you may have me at a disadvantage, my darling.” she giggles playfully as he keeps kissing down her chest onto her stomach. 

Astarion looks up at her, not breaking contact with her skin. He smiles and starts to undo the lacing of his own pants. “Fuuuuck…you have to stop teasing me like this..” Tav keens under his touch, tugging at his hair. Astarion chuckles under his breath, amused at the sudden loss of hesitation from her. “Impatient now, aren't you?” he straightens up and begins to take his shirt off.

He slowly starts dragging the fabric over his stomach and his chest. Tav’s eyes are following along with his hands, languorously teasing her knowing how much she loves this. “Do you want to touch me, darling? I am still trapped in these clothes, and I think I may need some help.” Astarion pouts dramatically with a feigned innocence. 

Tav props herself up on her elbows and smirks “Oh no..you look like you're having some problems with that, Astarion. I can't just leave you like that. It’d be quite rude of me not to assist you, when you're always so eager to help me..” She bites her bottom lip, as she slips her hands under the hem of his shirt and starts to slide it up. 

Astarion’s muscles tense under the heat of her fingers. Her already warm hands feel like little bursts of fire on his icy skin. The way her nails scrape against him feel like pin pricks stabbing into his heart, impaling him with her love. He bends slightly to help her get the first garment off, Tav places it to her side. Thankfully, the bed is big enough for everything to land within arms reach. 

He places his body on top of hers again. One of his hands is at the top of her head with his elbow resting on the bed, while the other makes soft circles down Tav’s stomach trailing down.Tav’s hands quickly go to Astarion’s waistline and tugs at his pants clumsily. She was incredibly turned on at this rate and has to get some relief before her mind lost all sense of control. 

Tav pulls the fabric off, looking down at him bared in front of her. He was already so beautiful, but even more so after he had gotten fed and aroused. His skin would turn a pink hue and his cheeks would be flushed even brighter against the contrast of his pale skin.

 As he kicked off his pants, Tav reaches down and lightly strokes him, she can feel his cock getting even harder with her touch. Astarion groans and bucks his hips into her hand, he hears an amused hum from Tav, “Oh you like that? Making me react to your filthy hands? Because two can play this game, sweet girl.” 

Astarion reaches down in between their bodies, pressing his sharp nails on her body. Leaving faint red lines on Tav’s tanned skin. He makes his way to her already soaked cunt, she gasps and trembles as he runs two fingers up and down her slit. “That's it my love, tell me what you want.”

 Tav groans a bit, squeezing her hand around Astarion. While his fingers find their way to her clit, circling it with a feather light touch. Tav melts under his touch, her mind races and she finds it hard to speak. “I want you. All I want is you, Astarion.” 

He slides a finger inside her, she inhales and lets it out with a long exhale. She strokes him a couple of times before letting go and wrapping one of her legs around his waist. Tav grinds her hips into his hand, Astarion slips his hand out of her, pulling her into his hips and grinding harder into her. The slickness that came from her folds coating him, causing him to slip his cock inside easily. 

Tav gasps loudly, both her legs wrap around his waist, as he thrusts deep into her. She keeps the pace with her hips snapping up to meet his. They both become lost in each other, one in bliss and the other rewriting the past. Astarion continues his speed, he can feel her tighten around him, her walls pulling him in, needy and hungry for him. “Star…I- oh gods you feel so good.” 

“Come for me, gorgeous. Lose yourself with me” Astarion grips her hips tighter as he thrusts faster, holding her tilted slightly to meet him. Tav is barely holding on after all the teasing he did beforehand, she won't lost much longer if he keeps it up. She feels his fangs pierce her shoulder, his lips sucking deep as her blood flows into his mouth. 

Immediately her body releases the tension he built up as she comes around him. Tav's blood is so delicious during the height of her orgasm. The most luxurious ambrosia he had ever tasted. Soon after, he releases her shoulder and licks up the trail of blood that comes out of his bite. He fucks into her a few more times when he feels his own peak. His hips spasm as he comes inside her, slumping over her as he catches himself. 

Tav pulls him close, kissing him deeply. Her arms wrap around him, caressing the scars on his back. Usually he wouldn't let her touch them, but she was so gentle with him this time. They laid in the massive bed, in each other's arms for a while. Soon enough, Tav can hear Astarion quietly snoring. When he wakes up, Tav is dressed, and the paintings are gone. 

He sits up and watches as she grabs her brown leather  flap top bag and walks up to him. “I found this log book, I figured it would be important.” Tav hands him a thick book bound in red leather. “We can go through it later. Oh, and I saved the paintings. I rolled them up and put them in the bag. Figured we could burn them later.” she smiles and sits next to him.

 “You should probably get dressed. It's almost dawn and I don't want Gale getting mad at me for being late for breakfast again. You know him with his talk of the flavors being best at serving time.” Tav kisses his cheek. The warmth of her lips lingers on his icy skin.

Astarion meant to burn it that night at camp, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to throw it into the fire. His skin felt unusually cold, even for a vampire. The book felt heavy in his hands, the urge to peel himself out of the skin that held it planted him into the ground where he stood. The little air he had was being ripped from his lungs, and his vision began to fade. 

 He remembers Tav holding his hands as they trembled, gripping the diary. Her soft touch brings him back to the warmth of the camp. They never had to say anything, but somehow she knew when he needed her the most.

Astarion opens his eyes, the empty room feels so much bigger than it usually does. He picks up the tattered book and walks towards the door of the storage room. He turns back and looks at the portrait of himself that's still at the front of the rack. 

It's a good thing you saved it, my love. 

—-----------

As she walks down the hallway, Octavia thinks back on the last few weeks. She was in a completely new world with Astarion. The thought of being with anyone was always far in the back of her mind. While in school, she was consistently studying, never fully enjoying being in college like everyone else. She wasn't the type to stay up late, go to parties, too ingrained in her goals to be bothered. 

In this case however, the daydreams of Astarion were fastly infiltrating her mind. He was so mysterious, arrogant, snarky, pretty much all the things she hated about all the other men in her orbit, but the confidence and affection underneath soothed over any reservations she may have had.

It was risky for them to get found out of course, but Astarion was still nothing short of a hopeless romantic. He would pop up behind her and slip her little love notes. Other times he would corner her in a dark spot away from public eyes and would give her a quick kiss on her wrist, or her hand, maybe her cheeks, but always starting with her lips. 

Astarion's stolen glances were the worst in Octavia’s opinion. It seemed like he loved making her blush with those burning orange red eyes glaring at her from under those round dark lenses. Sometimes he would pull them down and shoot her a flirty wink. Her cheeks would flush immediately and she'd break her gaze, throwing her head down while hiding the smile that formed.

She could feel his laugh, knowing it's won the battle this round. The way his lips turned up and how it reverberated in her mind. Somehow in the solitude of the musem, they would find each other. They would sit in silence, periodically looking up catching the other staring and grinning. It was usually Astarion staring like a lovestruck fool at Octavia. 

This time, her forgetting the logbook he entrusted her with was a perfect excuse for him to seek her out. Astarion finds her in the middle of a row of bookshelves in the reference library. She's looking down at one of the many books found within the endless rows. 

He can't stop staring at her lips most of all. He loved kissing her, even as quick and discreet as they were, the way her pulse flutters each time brings a feeling of newfound renewal to him. He still can't place the familiarity of it, but for now it's an unspoken question that he isn't in a hurry to bring up.

 "You're staring again. Someone might think you like me." Octavia spoke softly, not looking up or wanting to disrupt the peace of the room. She continues to flip through the book, gaze down, laughing quietly.

Astarion lets the dumb grin grow on his face, her sarcasm not lost on him. "Darling, they would be terribly correct." He walks over to her, watching as she rifles through the book’s pages. He reaches inside his leather book bag and hands her the delicate text. “I believe you left this in the painting archives. Figured you could use it to further your work?” 

Octavia gasps excitedly “Oh thank you! I was wondering where I had left it! I've been so scatterbrained lately, I would forget my hand if it wasn't attached to my body” she giggles nervously and takes the book in her hands. 

“Of course, dear. I'm glad I could help you with returning the very important book I trusted you to take care of.” Astarion teases. “Well then, if you need any help figuring anything out with that little book..Just say the word.” 

This is her chance, if she was going to try to get him to let her take that book home, she has to ask now. Octavia looks back up at him, "Actually, I had a little request?” she began, slightly more nervous than earlier.

"Anything, my dear. What is it?" He holds her hand, rubbing the top of her palm with his thumb. Octavia's breath hitches slightly, a faint blush forming across her cheeks and nose. She really loved his touch. 

She clears her throat, "I know you told Gale that he couldn't take the book home because of how delicate it is." The hand in his feels sweaty, her nerves winning out a bit.

 She steels herself and comes out with it, "So do you think if I ask you to maybe come to my flat, and you happen to bring it, and maybe you forget it there, and I don't bring it back for a little so I can take some time with it at my place so I can avoid doing overnights here again…do you think that could be a possibility?" She rambles breathless until she finishes, face fully reddened by her requests.

Astarion laughs, he lifts her hand up to his lips and kisses the top of it. "Sweetness, if you want late night visits, you just need to ask." Octavia huffs, covering her face with the book in her other hand. She peeks out from behind it and smiles. "Stop, I'm being serious. I don't want you getting upset because I slept here for two weeks again. Besides, we can have some proper alone time. I could make you dinner?" She watches as Astarion's lips smile silently.

She pulls her hand off her face and takes his other hand. "I guess you can call it our first date?" She asks hopeful, their eyes meet and he pulls her in for a kiss. Astation lets go of her hand and places it on her cheek, rubbing his thumb on it. 

As they pull away, he kisses the tip of her nose, making her laugh softly. "I'd love to come by your place, if I can take that as an open invitation?" Octavia nods. "Tomorrow night? I mean if it's not too soon?" 

Astarion chuckles, her eagerness not lost on him. "No, not too soon. I can't wait." They kiss again, the electricity of their anticipation in the air. 

Tags: @justporo @satanicspinosaurus @sleepy-timaeus @tragedybunny @davenswitcher @wayward-hel

(if you wanna be added, hit me up 😘)

[ecogirl2759]

Here's something interesting (maybe)-

So, a couple years ago, I got bored and was feeling sorry for Taka, as usual, when I decided I wanted to research something that was probably pointless.

BUT I DID IT ANYWAY!

Below the break here is an analysis of Trial 3 of Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc. I looked at some characters and wrote down things that I thought were noteworthy. Everything (other than the percentiles) has been untouched from my initial research (formatted for Tumblr).

Let me know if you guys have anything else that you think is interesting!

!!SPOILER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 3!!

~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Trial 3

(Only gaining some info from nonstop debates)

Victim’s names weren’t mentioned until after 8 mins in

Victim’s often only called “it” or “corpse”

Only talks about Taka when it’s convenient

Hiro’s self-aware that he’s dumb

In talks about both victims, Hifumi seems to be brought up most

Most times Hifumi’s objectified is when he & Taka are lumped together

Hifumi referred to more, but as “he/him” (doesn’t fit criteria)

Taka often only referred to in cases of figuring out Hifumi

Lmao Tick Tock and Huffy

Most times Taka isn’t objectified is when they’re talking about his note

Celeste slandering dead Hifumi

After certain point, Taka’s barely brought up until closing

Taka mostly only referred to as “body” or “corpse”

Hifumi was accomplice, but Taka was/is important

Taka:

# times name called: 63 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111|111

# times referred to as object: 56 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111|11

# times referred to total - 119 Ratio - 63:56 % objectified - 47.06%

Hifumi:

# times name called: 104 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111|11111111111

# times referred to as object: 30 1111111111111111111111111111|11

# times referred to - 134 Ratio - 104:30 % objectified - 22.39%

| - Closing argument

After the trial:

Hifumi was completely manipulated

Celeste slandered Taka’s good name

“He forced me to steal her… He abused me [and] took pictures, saying he’d show everyone if I did not comply… He is going to use her to escape… He is going to kill you [just] so he can have her all to himself.”

God I hate Celeste

“Did you do it for the money?” “…That is not all there is to it.”

Celeste’s dream/goal was to live in a castle which she’d need money for

“Are you asking me to feel guilty? That’s a pointless endeavor.”

~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

So...

Whaddya think?

I knew at the time that people really didn't like how little Taka was brought up / mentioned during the trial, and I wanted to see if there was any merit to that.

TURNS OUT THERE WAS! I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY LOL

I also feel like that last part where Celeste accuses Taka of... well yk what it is. That part is largely forgotten about or actively disregarded by Celeste stans and the Dangan fandom as a whole.

THIS LADY WAS WILLING TO FALSELY ACCUSE SOMEONE OF YKW JUST SO THAT SHE COULD GO LIVE IN A MANSION WITH VAMPIRE BUTLERS!!!! SHE'S NOT A GREAT PERSON!!!!

Props to Hifumi for sticking up for her, but uh... murder? Really?

Hifumi, really, just wanted to help. He thought he was doing something good, and I applaud that. Just... yk... murder?

SO YEAH

HERE ARE MY FINDINGS!

Hope y'all get something meaningful out of this because I grabbed it and now I have NOTHING to do with it :(

Let's all suffer together :D

[rulesforthedance]

slapdash race report

How do you make a bulleted list on mobile

I'm not looking it up. Anyway!

That "50 miler" sure was 54 miles, lol. CONSERVATIVELY. My garmin said 49 and strava on my phone said 61 and they tend to under- and overestimate (respectively) on trail by close to the same amount, and everyone at the finish was saying how it was longer. This is not unusual for trail ultras and I don't mind because I learned I can run 54 miles :)

It took me 12 hours and 45 minutes. Even in the last few miles I was still doing like 70% running, which is better than I can say for my 50k. So what this tells me. Is I could have run a 100k this summer. I don't wish I had though.

It wasn't easy or comfortable, but I never felt like I might not finish.

Set a 40-minute 50k PR DESPITE spending half an hour at the mile 28.5 aid station.

Arrived in the hot nasty portapotty at said aid station after 15 miles of fantasizing about pooping and said out loud, very sincerely, "wow, I love it here. This is the best place I have ever been."

So hot. So hilly. Such bees.

First overall was a woman. And she averaged 8 min/mi which was frankly insane in these conditions

I had an obscene amount of caffeine and my body has so many problems right now as a result of my recreational sport and I hope I ever sleep tonight

In my 50k, 90% of participants beat me, but today only 70% did. I'm moving up in the world!

[finkinthisfrew]

Anything (Pt.8)

cw: sexual tension and horniness, erection, being naked together

Chapter 8 I shut the door to my apartment and leaned my back against it, my lips still tingling from the kiss we shared before Matty hopped into a cab to get to his meeting which he was now late for. He had changed back into his date clothes from the night before, leaving his hoodie and sweatpants behind.

We'd spent the rest of the morning in bed cuddling while chatting, laughing and eating cereal. Eventually, after much protesting from Matty, I convinced him not to cancel his day of meetings and interviews. He obliged only after I promised him I'd come over for dinner later that evening.

I walked back upstairs, still in a daze, and started making my bed. I had once again been lost in thought when I heard my phone buzz on my nightstand.

I'm not particularly enjoying being apart from you :(

My heart fluttered as I read his text and my phone buzzed again.

If you get out of the studio early, will you please come straight to mine?

I couldn't help but smile at his eagerness. It wasn't just that it was flattering, but something about his unabashed honesty was so comforting. He wasn't afraid of this, which helped me feel unafraid too. I sat down on the edge of my bed and began to type.

I'm also not enjoying being apart from you :( I want to come over straight after, I really do, but I need to go home to shower and change out of my studio clothes first. If I don't... well, if you saw me like that then let's just say you'd probably enjoy being apart more lol

It didn't take long for Matty to respond.

You could sprout a tail and 3 extra heads and I'd still be utterly obsessed with you. Come over straight after- you can wash up at mine. If it helps I promise I won't look at you when you first get here (that's a lie btw)

I rolled my eyes at his message and I couldn't help but giggle- he was so funny and clever. As I began to type a response, I got another text from him.

Not to pressure you. Sorry, I'm being very selfish here. I've just got a bit of a crush, that's all :)

I took a moment to think before I wrote my next couple messages.

Wellllllll, when you put it like that... as long as you don't mind me taking a quick shower at yours before we eat then sure, I'd love to :)

I can text you when I'm heading over. I'll probably be done by 5:30/6:00 pm- maybe even sooner. Should only take me 15 min to get to your place from the studio

I couldn't help but blush when I read his response.

Amazing. See you then <3 Text me whenever you miss me plz

The little heart emoji made me shimmy with giddiness. I was so excited to see him again- and we'd only been apart for... three minutes? Four? It felt insane, but the connection we had felt so deep so immediately. I hopped up from my bed, running to my wardrobe to get dressed as quickly as possible so I could get to the studio right away. The sooner I got my work done, the sooner I'd be able to see Matty again.

The next several hours I spent at the studio working on a new piece as well as finishing up some older ones. Somehow, by some miracle, the day had flown by and I'd finished just a few minutes after 5 pm.

We'd texted throughout the day, updating each other when we found time, but we could both tell we were missing each other desperately already.

As soon as I finished loading my last piece into the kiln, I sent Matty a text letting him know I was heading over and I all but ran out of the building and onto the tube.

I didn't even care that I was covered head to toe in dried clay and glaze with my hair in a dishevelled little bun on the top of my head. I looked my absolute worst, and somehow I felt my best the second I opened Matty's door, which he'd let me know was unlocked. Jogging up his steps, I called out his name. As soon as I reached the top of the steps I barely saw Matty appear before I was swept up in his arms, enveloped in a deep and longing kiss. I greedily kissed him back, which only made him kiss me harder. Our hands ran over each other urgently, taking in each other's presence in every possible way. We tried to break off the kiss after several minutes of making out, but failed every time, going back for more as if we'd been starved of each other.

The sound of a timer going off eventually convinced us to stop, earning a grunt of annoyance from Matty.

"One moment, stay right here," he said before disappearing down the hallway. "Stay perfectly where you are, darling," I heard him yell from the kitchen. Reappearing moments later with his arms already reaching out for me, we pulled towards each other like magnets, embracing once again. After a few more moments of passionate kissing, I pulled away.

"Before we continue," I said giggling as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my face all over, "I really want to take a quick shower. Do you mind?"

He was just kissing my neck, sending tingles down my spine and making me shiver, when he retreated and said, "Actually, I hope you don't mind, but I had something else in mind for you... follow me."

We walked into his bedroom hand in hand. Then he pushed open his bathroom door, revealing a bathtub full of thick foamy bubbles and candles lit all over. A plush white bathrobe hung on the wall, and a bottle of wine with a large wine glass sat on the stool next to the tub.

I was speechless.

"Hopefully you have everything you need, but if not, just give us a shout and I'll grab you whatever you need. I'll be in the kitchen when you're done," he said giving my hand a squeeze. He leaned down and kissed the side of my nose, to which I turned to face him fully before taking his face in both my hands and kissing him on the lips.

"Thank you," I said softly.

He looked at me sweetly so happy with my reaction as he walked out the door, our fingers parting only when our arms could no longer reach. As he began to close the door, he paused saying, "It's such a comfort to have you here in my home, knowing you're just down the hall... It's really lovely to be home together."

I smiled back at him as he shut the door behind him.

I walked over to the sink and washed my face and cleaned my fingernails of the caked-on clay. I slowly peeled off my clothes, reflecting on what Matty said. I felt so at peace knowing he was here. This wasn't my home, but I felt at home here, because he was here.

I lowered myself into the tub, enveloping myself in the lavender-scented suds. The water was the perfect temperature, soothing my sore body which ached from hunching over the pottery wheel for so long. I poured myself a glass of the chilled wine and sunk deeper into the suds.

My mind drifted back to the last memory I had of Matty in this bathroom- soaked from spraying each other with the showerhead, his shirt clinging to his muscled and toned body, water dripping from his damp curls onto his parted lips. I remembered the tension I'd felt at that moment- the tension we felt. I remembered his face perfectly, the way he looked at my lips, then back into my eyes, panting slightly from our water fight. If I hadn't been so nervous... I wondered what would have happened.

I let myself steep in that memory, and after a while, I couldn't tell if I was getting hot from the bathtub water, or from the memory itself.

Without thinking, I called out Matty's name. He appeared at the door a few moments later, his head poking in. "Yes, darling?" he asked, averting his eyes for my own modesty.

"It's okay, you can look. I think you put enough bubbles in here for a months worth of baths," I said with a lighthearted laugh.

He allowed his eyes to slowly turn and look at me laying in the bath, bubbles covering everything below my collarbone.

"Fuck..." he said to himself quietly. "You are painfully gorgeous, Anna."

I blush at his candidness. "Thank you, Matty." I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear before remembering why I called him in in the first place.

"Are you doing anything super involved in the kitchen right now, or would you possibly want to keep me some company?" I asked.

He all but skipped over to the stool next to the tub and sat down, leaning in to kiss me.

"Of course, darling. Anything for you." He said as he rolled up the sleeves of the flannel shirt he wore. I could see a spatter of red sauce from whatever he'd been cooking staining his shirt underneath.

He saw me notice his soiled shirt, face turning red as he said "Things got a bit more involved in the kitchen than I anticipated."

"Actually, I was wondering... if maybe you'd like to join me?" I asked, my boldness faltering only briefly from the sweetness of our kiss.

He blinked at me, processing what I'd just asked him.

"It seems like you could do with a soak too," I added tentatively, gesturing at his shirt, my voice a question mark.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

I smiled at him. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't want it. I promise."

"Well as long as you're sure..." he pulled his flannel off as he stood up to undress.

I looked away as he pulled his stained t-shirt off, allowing him some privacy while undressing. I could feel his eyes on me, his movements measured from the corner of my eye, watching to make sure I was okay with every step he took.

He lowered himself slowly into the tub across from me. The tub was wide enough that we could both lay with our legs stretched out side by side. Matty gently lifted one of my legs to rest on his chest and began to rub my foot. My eyes practically rolled back into my head from bliss. I sighed audibly.

"Now there's a sound I could live for," he said with a smile.

I frowned from pleasure, my eyes closing.

"Are you sure you're not an angel, Matty? You treat me way too well- if you keep this up I don't know what I'll do without you once my placement ends."

Matty's hands paused for a moment. He fell silent, and I wondered if I'd said something wrong.

"I know it's quite irresponsible, but can we pretend that you aren't leaving in a few months? Just for tonight?"  He returned to rubbing my foot, looking me straight in the eyes. "I don't think I can think about that right now. Actually, I don't think I can think about it ever, but just for this one evening... I want to imagine this never has to end."

I couldn't tell if my heart had stopped, or was beating so fast that I could no longer feel it.

"Is that okay with you?" He asked, a look of innocence on his face.

"Of course," I said with sympathy, because I knew exactly what he meant, and I felt exactly the same way.

He kissed my big toe with a giant grin, making me laugh.

I sunk deeper into tub, relaxing, admiring the crinkles beside Matty's eyes as he smiled, taking extra time to memorize each one. I loved the way his eyes squinted when he smiled, the way he always spoke so earnestly with me. I loved that he always asked for consent. I loved how he would get carried away with his excitement, then always pedalled back to make sure I was in the same place as him. And I always was. I'd never fallen into step with someone like this before, every stride matching. I had never felt so safe with someone before. Or so turned on.

"Matty," I said, sitting upright, leaning towards him.

"Yes, dear?" He answered, eyebrows risen innocently.

"Kiss me. Please?"

"Anything for you." He said, rising from the tub, suds slowly dripping down his tattooed chest.

Our lips met, heat radiating from each other, dampness from the steam of the bath and our sweat intermingling. Our tongues met, dancing lightly with each other at first, then building intensity the longer we kissed.

I wrapped my arms around his naked torso, running my hands over his back, skin soft and slippery from the water. He gently placed one hand on the back of my neck, the other around my waist under water.

I couldn't get close enough to him, shifting myself onto my knees and straddling him, sitting down on his stomach as he reclined.

I was hungry for more. I kissed him deeper, and he pulled me in close against him in response, our bodies now touching everywhere.

"Is this okay?" He asked breathlessly, pulling away briefly to check in with me. I was so touched by his concern, which only made me want him more. I kissed his cheek, his jaw, then nibbled his ear. He moaned softly.

"Yes. Very, very okay." I said, my lips returning to his. We kissed even deeper, heat building.

He kissed me with even more intention now, his strong hands grasping at my hips. I ran my nails down his back, to which he responded "Fuck, Anna. I can't get enough of you."

I felt bold, so I pulled away, looked him dead in the eye and said, "So have me. Have all of me."

With that I shimmied further down his body, his erection now hard against my backside. I watched Matty's jaw drop as he processed what I'd just said and done. I maintained eye contact with him as I did it.

"... are you sure?" He asked slowly. "I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything just because I've got a bit excited."

I shook my head. "I mean it. I want you."

He shook his head in disbelief, eyes glazed with passion, "I need you." before he pulled me in with full force.

[andthebubbles]

okay so some real quick thoughts of 3x05-08

cressida got seriously short-changed. but i don't think the writers were anticipating that people would even like creloise

eloise almost had like a retcon re her friendship with cressida? did she think that was all fake? from what i recall (i might be wrong ofc) she first played into hating her because she pretended she was LW, even though she totally knows she's not, but basically she wanted to take pen's side. and that was it, really. so... i feel like the cressida stuff (and her being shipped off to wales) could've been avoided if they'd just talked. idk

eloise is still... hmmm..... still has some growing to do. but it's fun now, watching her, because i don't find her annoying anymore, unlike in s2

benedict's really floating. but i do feel like his season is next. though, are they really going to have the actor for michaela on standby for four years, if that's the case (eta: i suppose she could have a sideplot for s4, if benedict is lead. i'd love that)

and, actually, i suppose i would not mind fran/michaela next. but i don't want john to die :( but even the priest knew he was gonna die!!!!!!!!!! so i guess he's gonna :(

i very very very much enjoyed anthony's pretty face :3

and all the a&b moments!!!

anthony was half OOC. but all his moments with benedict were lovely so i'm good :3 and he had a nice moment with colin too skjfgnkfg but, too short!! haha

i always need more anthony + any sibling. but i think i like a&b in particular because you can see how close they are

hmm i think i said this elsewhere but i think they resolved the LW stuff too easily. but yeah, they really are using the queen as like, the get out of jail card lol

still trying to decide if they gave cressida a storyline just to put a spanner in the works for LW, or for it to somehow be linked to sophie....... ... is cress gonna come back? hm

colin finalllly got malewifed... finally accepted his role as pen's number 1 simp. good on him. took him a while. had to get through some cringe fragile masculinity moments--or were they just 'wanting to be good enough for pen, wanting to do things for her, wanting to save her' - oh perhaps that's the same thing

i love portia!!! and polly walker is an amazing actor

i wish that cressida wasn't so alone that she felt she had to resort to blackmail. eloise abandoned her by pretending to think she really was LW... and she never turned back from that. kinda like she gaslit herself. idk, i'd have to watch it again, but idk if i can be bothered

as i said in the 3x08 post, iiiiiiiii felt like it was only the last 10 mins or so of that ep that really felt like bridgerton. and i enjoyed that part.

the pacing was off in places. and the characterisation. re pacing, the biggest problem ones i can think of are ep 2 and the first half of ep 8 or so. ep 8 didn't even feel like it should be there at one point.

anyway, these are all initial thoughts

tl;dr we got some lovely a&b!!! and anthony's face is pretty. and benedict and fran are queer. and there was lots of peneloise. and creloise got crushed to the ground

and i feel like i'm missing something. missing lots, in fact

eta:

pen continuing to write LW under her real name is not the same

the discussion of power they touched on in the show is interesting; i also rather liked it in A Thousand Cuts by wall-e-nelson, can't remember which chapter though

[butterflydm]

‘Matrim’ Cauthon: what’s in a name, etc.

I'm putting this in my reread because it's relevant, but it does have spoilers through A Memory of Light, please be warned! (also much thanks to sunrise-and-death for giving me the info on the first five books, several months ago)

So, I have not yet started the Sanderson books in my reread but I did some research on something that I remember bugging me about the last three books, after a couple of people who were doing their first reads kinda confirmed it was definitely A Thing in the Sanderson books (tigraine-mantear noticed for sure). Anyway, I wanted to share my results.

SPOILERS below.

While I agree with markantonys that Sanderson's most out of character choice for Mat is his failure to have Mat think about Elayne's dimple even once, for me, the second biggest Sanderson-specific narration/PoV misstep is definitely, definitely the overuse of 'Matrim’ Cauthon.

Let me illustrate (using a random website that I found, also, while this is something that does annoy me, it is not that serious, lol. It mostly Just Bugs Me. But making the graphs was surprisingly fun so... there’s several of them).

In the Jordan books: 59 times over the course of eleven books.

In the Sanderson books: 125 times over the course of THREE books!

And Mat himself goes from almost never using/thinking of the name (3 times over the course of Jordan’s 11 books) to being one of the primary people who uses it (30 times over the course of Sanderson’s 3 books). 

Per book chart average. The teal is Jordan and the yellow bar is Sanderson. The only case where the teal bar is larger is Nynaeve. She’s the only person who used ‘Matrim’ more often in the Jordan books than in the Sanderson ones (averaged per book). Unless you count Tam, but I’m not sure if Tam mentions Mat at all in the last three books? I'll try to remember to check during my reread. 

Special notes: Tam was only averaged for 8 books in the Jordan books, mostly a guess as to when he appears in Perrin’s storyline; Moiraine was averaged for the first five for the Jordan books, since she went into the doorway at that point; Elayne was averaged for 9, since she wasn’t really aware of Mat’s existence in the first two books. Tuon was averaged for three because she was introduced in Winter’s Heart.

“Matrim” is used EXTREMELY sparingly in the Jordan books. I’m guessing that Jordan wanted to Make A Point by having Tuon use it, which does kinda hilariously get watered down by so many other people using it in Sanderson’s books, to the extent that she has to give him a whole new Special Asshole Name because Matrim isn’t cutting it anymore. I feel like the point Jordan was trying to make (Romance Lady Gets To Use Special Name) was not the point that I took from it (Tuon Is An Asshole Who Doesn’t Respect Preferred Names), but mine has more textual backup (see: Leilwin née Egeanin).

For interest’s sake, since our other mains also have ‘formal’ titles that get used in place of their names, I made a few more graphs, just for fun:

We can see here what Mat and Perrin usually just go by their names, and Elayne rarely uses “Daughter-Heir” as well, while Nynaeve has a solid stripe of green from the early books and then it cuts off, while Egwene is the reverse, getting a strong amount of having a title near the second half of the series. 

Cutting “Rand” out to see everything else better. 

Here I just left in the titles plus Mat’s “formal” names. You can see how thin that stripe of green is for “Matrim” and how it’s mostly the deeper purples of the last books.

Cutting out “Dragon” so that we can zoom in even more on everyone else’s titles. You know, seeing Mother, Wisdom, and Daughter-Heir like this is giving me real Maiden/Mother/Crone vibes. Like, I know that the comparison that is used a lot is Aviendha (former Maiden), Elayne (Mother that literally gets pregnant in the series, and Min (crone... because she’s older than Rand? I guess, lol), but honestly Elayne as Maiden, Egwene as Mother, Nynaeve as Crone is giving me vibes. 

Finally, taking out “Mother” and “Lews Therin” really lets us see what’s happening with everyone else’s titles. Here you can really see how massive the three Sanderson books are in comparison to the Jordan ones when it comes to “Matrim”.

And for the raw Matrim data, here is our total Matrim count across the entire series, broken down by who says it:

Eye of the World: 8 times

Tam x3

Nynaeve x2 (annoyed with him)

Egwene x2 (annoyed with him)

Mat x1 (introducing himself to Moiraine & trying to impress her)

The Great Hunt: 2 times

Moiraine x2

The Dragon Reborn: 10 times

Padan Fain: x1

Moiraine x1

‘Selene’ aka Lanfear x1

Random Tar Valon Guard x1

Nynaeve x3 (annoyed with him)

Egwene x2 (annoyed with him)

That Herbalist Lady in Cairhien x1 (how did she learn it?)

The Shadow Rising: 8 times

Elaida x1 (how did she learn it?)

Egwene x1

Moiraine x1

Melaine x2 (HOW did she learn it?)

‘Natael’ aka Asmodean x1

Liandrin x1

‘Keille’ aka Lanfear x1

Melaine calling Mat ‘Matrim’ is EXTRA weird because she doesn’t use his last name, so she’s both being shockingly formal by Westlands terms (by using ‘Matrim’) but shockingly informal and intimate by Aiel terms (no last name). 

The weirdest thing about some of the ‘Matrim’s in the books is that they seem to completely come from the ether, as no one has introduced Mat to these people in this way and how do they even KNOW that Matrim is his formal name??? Naming conventions are so country-specific in this series and we never meet another person named ‘Matrim’, so how do all these random people know that Mat is short for ‘Matrim’? (Authorial fiat)

The Fires of Heaven: 7 times

Random Aiel x3

Melindhra x2

Somara x1 

Random Cairhienin citizens x1

Lord of Chaos: 7 times

Mat x1 (first time he’s mentioned or thought of the name since book 1!)

Random Cairhienin citizens x5

Nynaeve x1

And Mat thinks of himself as ‘Matrim’ here but still introduces himself as Mat (”Just call me Mat”).

A Crown of Swords: 5 times

Nynaeve x3 (very annoyed with him)

Elayne x2 (formally)

The Path of Daggers: 2 times

Elayne x2 (formally to other people)

Winter’s Heart: 0 times

Crossroads of Twilight: 0 times

Knife of Dreams: 10 times

Thom x1

Tuon x8 

Mat x1 (in the context of thinking about how no one calls him that, while he’s in the middle of asking Tuon to call him ‘Mat’)

I will note that Thom has NEVER used the word ‘Matrim’ before this very convenient moment of announcing it to Tuon so that she can keep not calling Mat by the name he prefers. And I’m not sure where THOMDRIL has any room to be using other people’s formal names in front of randoms. I will also note that though it is implied that Mat doesn't want to be called 'Matrim' (since he introduces himself as Mat always except once to Moiraine in EotW), from what I could see, Tuon is the only time Mat corrects someone calling him Matrim (but she's a jerk so she ignores him).

Notably, ‘Matrim’ is almost always used in the Jordan books when people being particularly formal (or, mostly in the case of Nynaeve, when she’s mad at him). Until Tuon. When Tuon decides that she respects him enough to no longer call him ‘Toy’ but not enough to respect his choice in names, she refers to him as Matrim multiple times in that one scene, just to really grind in that she refuses to use the name he prefers (she’s such a petty asshole so again I say ‘yikes’ for Randland that Jordan decided she didn’t need any character growth during her circus roadtrip), as he asks her SEVERAL times to call him “Mat” and she’s just all: *asshole stare* nope, I will never call you the name you prefer and you better get used to it! Truly a marriage dredged from the cold and miserable depths of hell.

Okay, now brace yourselves.

The Gathering Storm: 35 times

Graendal x1

Nynaeve x2

Tuon x12

Mat x3 

Joline x2

Thom x1

Aludra x2

Verin x12

Tower of Midnight: 38 times

Mat x11

Teslyn x3

Joline x1

Elayne x5

Leilwin née Egeanin x1

Setalle Anan x4

Thom x1

Sumeko x1

Tuon x2

Perrin x2

Faile x1

Moiraine x5

Verin x1

A Memory of Light: 52 times!!!! 

(Almost as much as Jordan used in the entirety of the first 11 books.)

Leilwin née Egeanin x1

Mat x16

Selucia x1

Tuon x17 (and once she continues her asshole trend and renames him, we get Knotai x33)

Moiraine x1

Egwene x5

Min x2

Faile x2

Urien x1

Elayne x5

Davram Bashere x1

Olver x1

Fain x1

Loial x2

Ironically, Mat uses the name 'Matrim' the most in his own thoughts in the very book where Tuon tries to take the name away from him (though he is luckily not brainwashed enough into the Seanchan culture to actually start thinking of himself as ‘Knotai’).