#it doesnt have to be but its what i was thinking when i drew it so.
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Have you heard of the Mitsuri artist thatdeleated their acc bc someone accused them of AI?
i dont typically comment on this stuff but this situation has pissed me off soooo much (sobbing emoji)
i think that whole situation is just really awful. the artist did turn out to be weird (drew kyojuro x tanjiro shipart) but that wasnt known until way later x___x and i dont think that should justify what op did in making a horrible post downright bullying the artist and a specific drawing of mitsuri and allowing for people to bandwagon and harass them to the point of disappearing off the internet
what makes it worse to me is op is just being rlly immature about the whole situation. "woe is me" and all . suicide baiting. etc. like my guy even if the artist didnt end up being a proshipper you thought it would be quirky to take their work and deface it and proclaim they were using ai and all sorts of awful things ;~; u are not the victim here my guy. you wouldve done this to anyone bc you thought it would get you likes and followers. as always when ppl do these public shaming things its bc they want clout and attention and when it backfires they play the victim. L
i think op has some of their own things they gotta work on. terminally online tm. i hope they take soem time off the internet and learn from this. guys did you know cyberbullying does in fact have consequences. isnt that crazy
tdlr i think people need to knock that off. its really awful how mean people are these days and how every week there seems to be a new target in the art community for ppl to harass seemingly for no reason. again while the mitsuri artist did turn out to be a weirdo, that wasnt at all known when op made the giant post. op did it and very clearly doesnt regret what they did based on how they're treating the situation . if we are gonna critique the mitsuri artist we need to shift the conversation to why they are drawing ship art of a pedophilic ship
but i dunno. at the end of the day i just hate bullies. please be nice to each other
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the best way to luffy’s stomach is through his heart (or something like that)
a four page one piece fancomic in which luffy and law talk about luffy’s stomach
page 1
panel 1: a top view of luffy and law sitting in grass. luffy is leaning back on his hands with his legs outstretched. law sits crosslegged between them. they are both looking down at the hole in luffy’s abdomen, where law has used his devil fruit power to remove his stomach. “whoa! cool!” says luffy, while law hums, “hmm… interesting.”
panel 2: a close-up of law’s hand holding luffy’s stomach in its cube-like container. “it looks surprisingly average,” law says, “for a bottomless pit.”
panel 3: “isn’t it weird?” luffy asks. he is sitting with his back to the viewer, but his smile is still visible as he leans into law’s space. law is still crosslegged, holding the stomach, and he looks vaguely uncomfortable as luffy keeps talking. luffy says, “that thing can make food stop looking like food and start looking like poop! huh. wonder how it does that…”
page 2
panel 1: law looks off to the side, sweating and kinda grouchy. knowing he’ll regret this, he mutters, “i… know how… at least for NORMAL humans.”
panel 2: the back of luffy’s head takes up most of the panel as he demands, “what?! i wanna know too!” law grits his teeth and shouts back, “you’re just gonna fall asleep!” and luffy yells, “nuh-uh!”
panel 3: luffy grins widely, throws his arms out to the side, and flops onto his back in the grass. he’s loudly yelling, “tell me! tell me, traffy!”
page 3
panel 1: law is visible from a low-angle, as if from luffy’s pov on the ground. he sighs, “fine. here’s how it works.”
panel 2: this panel looks similar to the previous, but its slightly darker, with gray bars at the top and bottom, narrowing visibility to show luffy’s eyes are closing. law continues, “the stomach has two main functions.”
panel 3: law is now barely visible through the gap. luffy is almost asleep. law says, “the first, as YOU know, is the storage of food.”
panel 4: the background is completely dark, and law’s words trail off, “the second is—“
page 4
panel 1: a large, top view of luffy lying on his back in the grass. his arms are thrown wide still and his eyes are open. he has just jolted awake, saying, “hmm?” off-screen, law complains, “i don’t know WHY i bothered.”
panel 2: law accuses, “you didn’t listen to a word i said.” luffy sits up, his lips pursed and eyes narrowed because he’s a terrible liar. he says, “sure i did,” dragging out the “sure.”
panel 3: luffy breaks into a grin and proudly declares, “it’s a mystery!” law cuts him off with a “NO,” his speech bubble literally dripping with disdain.
panel 4: the silhouette of luffy and law sitting side by side. law is whapping luffy on the head with a light fist. law says, “idiot…” before bonking him. luffy yells, “hey!” but he is laughing, and a small “heh” shows law is too.
#one piece#luffy#trafalgar law#look im just gonna tag it#lulaw#it doesnt have to be but its what i was thinking when i drew it so.#cw body horror#??? ever so slightly#law-typical gore i suppose#he stuck it back in when luffy dozed off. maybe thats what woke him up#anyway. sometimes ur so close to someone that theyll let u look at their organs for fun!#typically its stomach > heart but for luffy its the other way around#not that he keeps his organs very close to his chest. which is a weird thing to say. what AM i saying anymore
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Gavin mentally: wait... that doesn't add up........
#detroit become human#gavin reed#rk900#because you guys have been so supportive i managed to pull through and actually draw a silly comic thing#also drew some of it while watching my favorite movie the incredible movie clue (1985)#and honestly i think the dynamic here is just like mustard and wadsworth going#are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests / you dont need any help from me / THATS. RIGHT.#but anyway the take here is that hi i liked a lot of fics where (as i said before with mutual pining) nines finds gavins looks appealing#like wow hes so not perfect i am enamored with him hmmmm surely thats not mutual#while being v handsome himself so yeah!#it IS technically from the incorrect quotes generator but also! it fits i think#well fits enough for me to get away with#guys i like mutual pining too much and i like processing power of like wait a sec... supercomputer calculator brain cant do math what#while nines is like well if i cant do math then its no longer condescending so i win on a technicality in this conversation#because who doesnt want to win a conversation on a technicality when there isnt actually a competition#wanting to win conversations is so normal i love winning a conversation#(authors note - i failed a conversation today)
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i love the stars (j'adore les etoiles)
#rick and morty#birdrick#birdperson#rick sanchez#artsbotz#I DID IT I DREW THEM YAYYYYYYYY <- normal#idk if im totallyyyy happy w the colours etc but watever im not spending any longer on it. lol#LOL sorry if this kinda doesnt make any sense. its a result of my enorrmmouss brain#i usually think abt rick more when it comes to birdrick simply bc. hes more fleshed out#butttt ive been rhinking abt bp a bit recently.#i rlly strongly associate bps feelings towards rick w stars. bcccc of a bunch of stuff#that one quote ->#how often do you suppose you might look up at the stars. and wonder what might have been had you just put your faith in rick.#anddd a couple songs. this one which is i love the stars by the orion experience#and more loosely starstruck by ummm#by sorry.#ANDDDDD the beacon. on ao3#i beleive by abed with a knife. really super good makes me pass out#umm ok i actually dont have more to say. my brain is fried#guys. dont forget to set like hourly timers when u draw. to like remind u to drink and stretch. and blink#dont be like me.
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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Luka is very good at keeping himself composed on stage, mostly with the help of maintaining track of his heart rate, but during Mizi's attack in ROMH he seemed to slip up, not only was the red background a tell-tale sign of Mizi's violent intentions but it was a more symbolic way of showing Luka in quite visceral fear. Even if for only a second.
I'm not convinced Luka will be as continuously calculated as he normally comes off, it all seems too fake to me. Because it is. It’s a similar case to Ivan who can't feel, isn't normal, isn't human enough so he makes a persona to blend in. So Luka, whoever he is, makes this version of himself to cope with what he has to live through, pretending like he's on top of it all to survive in this world.
So in round 7, I think something drastic will happen to make him 'snap' in a way.
It's safe to say that we don't know Luka. We don't know who he really is. We don't know his real desires. But we do know one thing--he is scared. he is afraid of the aliens. That's why he appeases them--being their trophy. He's only kept around for his purpose as an entertainer and nothing else and he's very aware of that. He knows very well that a dented trophy will be discarded; with that mindset, he's been able to get so far, and he's scared of losing. That's why he holds any little thing he can get his hands on close. And an important extension of that fear is his fear of losing power.
Till should be the more likely in this position, given he's such a rebel. But isn't that just too predictable? Keep in mind, that Till is a strong person. Even after all he's been through, even after he's been beaten into something more manageable for the aliens--He still hasn't lost his spark. Till is a raging storm. subdued but nonetheless a force to be reckoned with.
Round 6's effect on Till is greatly ambiguous for now but at this point when the time for round 7 comes, Till has been put through so much hell. Whatever Luka does to provoke him probably won't work, he and Luka are equally talented individuals and will make for an intense battle, and at the end of the day, the numbers won't lie. Exactly that is what Luka is ready for but scared of--a worthy opponent for the throne. Someone capable of stripping him of his power. (Is fear what makes Luka so dismissive?)
It would be so aggravating that this 'pest'. who is so indignant, so rebellious (in a way Luka envies.), could so easily destroy everything Luka has worked for, disregard every pain Luka has been through to get to this point, and Till doesn't value this throne as much as Luka does, and Luka doesn't want to feel the pain of death anymore. If his facade is as destructible as I think it is, that will be what ultimately brings out Luka.
This idea may be flawed. Luka is so perfect, too perfect and confident and experienced for something as little as that to break him, just think of all the training Luka went through to get to this point. I'm positive he's very aware of what playing unfairly will lead to. But isn't there always room for a wild card?
Just remember what happened to Hyun-woo.
What happened here isn't fully explained (and probably will be in round 7) but imagine Luka: "Trophy child, goody two shoes" Luka possibly killing another human. Whether by accident or not, what happened?--what and how did Luka feel in the moment for the repercussions of whatever happened to be that bad?
A Luka that is secretly greatly insecure, pliable, and defensive enough that in a spur of emotions, he can’t help but lose his cool in a way he hasn’t in a while because he’s afraid—just to try and prove he is still valuable. That is the type of character I theorize we'll come to see in round 7.
#I wonder if Hyunwoo dying was because whatever happened between them occured after heperu stopped lukas heart. maybe it made him more#sensitive? and when hyunwoo got rough with him for some reason it drew him over the edge perhaps?#i rlly dunno what could prompt luka and hyunwoo to fight honestly if hyuna wasnt involved#those two were basicallt friends? brother type relationship so like eh idk#alien stage#alnst#this is so random but i just wanted to yap about it for a second its been wracking my brain for days#i think we just have 1 too many enigmatic characters#i think this is the plot twist vivinos will go for because#“senior beats the rookie” well it's too predictable and quite cliche#and after everything i dont think till is in the right state of mind to give a shit.#i also just wanna weasel some way into making till survive this so uh yes!#can we also consider just how much tills fame may have increased after round seven.#think of it like alien stage getting more popular because of doomed yaoi. thats alien stage universe.#ivan literally has fangirls. and look at us:#just sayin'...#harharharharhar#also i know there might be someone thinking: but what about the rebellion? for one. mizi and hyuna may or may not be goners#but in general i dont think they can do ANYTHING for till or luka atp#isaac and dewey? maybe#alnst till#alien stage till#alien stage round 7#it just feels plain to me to see a luka that doesnt want to be another one of those corpses elevating the throne. he wants to show that he#is more valuable than that 'punk' who'll do nothing but dishonor this throne? maybe. we'll just have to seeeeee#alien stage luka#alnst luka#luka alien stage#till alien stage
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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parents are funny the way they want you to be open and honest with them, supposedly, but when you are, it leads to some fucking confrontation that didn’t need to happen, and when that happens, it leads to something you weren’t ready to say coming out, then being coaxed out into a still very much controlled held-back version of describing your lifelong experience feeling shame for existing the way you do and not being “easy” or as good as like, your little sister, academically, or as capable of masking as anyone else, and THAT carefully worded recall of just the natural fucking feelings of growing up in a frankly abusive household, resulting in.. oh, sorry, YOUR FATHER crying as if he wasnt just trying to gaslight you into thinking he didnt tell you the other day to Improve Yourself As A Person (right before the conversation about his mother entering hospice so now guess who can’t fucking mourn without associating it with that!) and that he instead was saying Improve Your Situation
and then he like catches you like visibly dissociating, comments, you try and put it in very simple words what just happened (in the same manner you have pointed out every other little thing he does to invalidate your feelings, or as he’d put it, “your feelings” yes using air quotes) and he suddenly is a fucking Psychology Scholar And Didn’t Need You To Explain What The Defense Mechanism Even Was and oh then also admitting to doing harm in the past, saying he had apologized (wonder why i dont remember), your mother(actual psychology minor) getting all “i’m sorry you feel that way” and also after a long ass tangent about there being a difference between “shamed” and “ashamed” as if you didn’t mean the word you say, a thing you did make very clear, ONCE AGAIN FUCKING CRYING ABOUT YOU BEING OPEN AND HONEST FOR ONCE AND TELLING THEM THEY HURT YOU
#its been. a wild fucking semester so far#oh and then also my fucking brother saying it’s like he doesnt have a sibling and i dont give a shit Sooo Much that i made my father cry#respectfully i fucking held the thing that would actually ruin him back.#because i did a fucking interview with his mother years ago for a class#and she talked about the way her mother treated her#when he first found out i was like. violently depressed as a teen#he drew the mental parallel of his mother getting hospitalized#for shit her fuckinf mother caused.#he cannot comprehend the pain he causes.#by all means my morher can comprehend what she does. she just. does she give a shit actually? lol#i feel for him. right now. in his grief process#but the fucking audacity to see me exercising autonomy and telling them they fucking traumatized me basically#AND COLLECTIVELY CONTINUINF TO USE THE FUCKING ABUSE TACTICS#im sure he was crying genuinely. but if i cry it is never genuine to them it feels#so.#yeah.#i havent been on tumblr i had a experiment thing for a class on social media breaks even though. lol. mental health? isolation??#but like. i think just the process of realizing wwwwhy we are the way we are#so immensely fucked up#its been a lot#its just. fucking sad i got forced into THIS conversation prematurely#but my fucking bad for trusting my mother i guess#vent#vent tw#anyway i was gonna push therapy back a week but. oooooooooweeeeee
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Do mechanites cry?
#rolling with difficulty#vrla rwd#mrsn rwd#vr la rwd#mr sn rwd#art i made#yet another thing i drew then just fully forgot to post LMAO#man i had to listen to 3.7 like 3 times for this. goddammit#easter egg: the 4 big infernal books in the shelf all say contract law like its a textbook series i guess#the small one next to them says Doctor Faustus bc i was looking to my irl bookcase for inspiration#and the christopher marlowe play was one of my alevel lit texts#also i think it would be really funny if the devils have their own version of the story of the deal with the devil guy#honestly this may have been the kinda. last straw of my burnout cuz this was a lot of time spent on a lot of stuff im really not good at#and none of it turned out... exactly how i wanted but oh well. it is what it is#ok the kinda annoying thing about me spending far too fucking long drawing super emotional scenes like this is i kinda#desensitise myself to whatever im drawing. like i felt it the most with the demon possession comic i casually tossed into the discord#bc thats the exact kinda angst i personally LOVE but it just doesnt have the same punch after ive been staring at it for 5 hours straight#(anyway go read cal's fic about it its on ao3 and its bloody good)#all this to say. when i first listened to 3.7 and austin had that exchange of like#'noir can i ask you a lore question' 'sure..?' 'do mechanites cry?'#i straight up got fuckin CHILLS. and sometimes i forget that but i try to force myself not to
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not to make people believe in me and my work ethic but im lowkey a liiiitttttleeee stoked to share the fics ive been cookin lately..
#snap chats#its only two. if i even decide to post them we know how i am#BUT NOOOO i think i like what i have so far... i spent all evening working on them#which means nothing cause All Evening consisters 80% of just watching youtube videos while thinking of what i should write#but yeah :) i think i like what i have :)#theyre cute :) i think :) one of them is. i dont think the other one is but whatever anyway#Unrelated Tag Ramble Time found out the building my dad and his wife work at's called monarch#and of course that reminded me of my baby boy drew because i still refuse to believe he's a papillion#but he is... i still see it.. it's not just the face but also his ears#Which Sounds Like A Lie cause his ears dont look super like traditional papillion ears#but they have like. The Buds of it if that makes sense <- it doesnt#idk something bout his ears just screams Butterfly Wings.. maybe its how the little stray hairs remind me of swallowtail butterflies#ok bye im making pizza . which is funy as hell cause my br just came home with pizza. from work. where i got my pizza#SMALL WORLD ok bye. alsohave you guys ever drank kombucha what is this shit <- is gonna finish it#it reminds me of seltzer but if it wanted me to kms. sorry i compare everything to seltzer its the only thing i drink apparently#OK BYE my dog wont stop looking at me.... he wants me to play fetch with him.... well when you look so handsome Lil Man#who am i to say no right. OK BYE HE'S CRYING MY BABYS CRYING
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gotta get off the internet and only interact irl with people who were 30 before they got their shit together i cant keep doing it like this
#like this being. feeling like i have no future and nobody likes me#‘youre only 19’ only goes so far when i dont know any other fail 19 year olds#im not gonna be a damn dentist for sure but like. and ive said this a thousand times. what am i gonna do. i cant live a worthless nothing#life where i work a shitty job i hate. i have to like something#i hate my art. i hate my lack of creativity. my art is so bland i just dont think its in me anymore#i finished. and i hate it#i have other hobbies. i like to cross stitch. i like to sew. i like to paint. i like to make dolls. do you see the common theme here#i have a few more than that i technically could do but i cant create anymore and it kills me. i want to. i constantly want to but i cant#it doesnt help that even if i havw ideas i dont even want to do them#i was gonna draw some characters from a game i played when i was little but i just#didnt want to. at no point did it not feel like a chore#ill try to go to new mediums! its fun to mess around and then itll feel boring again and going back doesnt feel any better#idk. googling it is useless. ive tried all the things. for years. ive been TRYING to draw consistently and like. doodles are fine theyre fu#but theyre not what i want to do i want to make something im proud of. i drew almost every single day for like 2 years#and its not burnout bc its been like. 2 more years! and ive barely wanted to at all!!!#i want to be creative and i also want people to recognize it. different complaint but it sucks so bad#i feel like nobody likes me. still. nobody cares about what i do. nobody would care if i stopped#like except me but i can only support myself so far!!!! im so tired of it!!!! someone PLEASE be here for me and just say ‘hey i love this#drawing :)’ like you have no idea what that would do for me#not always. but yknow especially if its been a while. if you like it. if you dont like it :( idk. you should tell me that too i guess#yknow so i can have some confirmation so i dont feel like im crazy. idk. dont actually id never go online again. i would probably. well.#i dont like to say the words#simons spouting#vent :(
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#get rekt.#fk#m fk#c-cfk#losing my mind removing his first rib. bro ur missing a lil smthn.boneless.also.its hilarious to me when cartoons like electrocute a#character and then they turn into bones but SO DOES A NEARBY STRAY ARTICLE THAT DOESNT EVEN *HAVE* BONES. peak comedy.hence the lance#i guess u could say its...h...hu...hum..HUMERUS BWAHAHAHAHA#ha. ha...ha. ok im done.wait. whats this feeling tingling in my elbow. my tos sometimes makes shit radiate down my ulnar nerve...into my...#my FUNNY BONE HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA#OK im done fr now. the projection is Beeg.#f*rde drops by and hes like. hey babey. you put the cute in electrocuted. and k*le's just like.*grumbles under his breath* meanwhile sizz'l#im just sayin.#you'd think I'd learn to stop frying things while shirtless.#But man am I stupid.#also this was interesting bc i drew the skeleton and the outline first and THEN i had to conform to that shape and it made for#an exercise outside of my comfort zone.
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Anyway I was thinking about Chris a lot lately and I wanted to draw Brent today so why not draw both!
(Angel is Chris' daughter who is like. 6 or 7. And she very happily has announced she will marry Mr. Right when she grows up and Right is just like "yes exactly, see, Chris? One person loves me enough to marry me I love my future wife" and it drives Chris up a wall. Brent normally calls her Angel but sometimes he has to push the button.)
#my characters#also just bc i think its fun to say bc its really old art#the original art of chris was actually the time brent realized he thought right was cute#it was just right sitting on chris' desk laughing at whatever they were talking about and brent was like oh god#hes so cute when hes genuinely happy what ???#that was the first time i drew chris lmao was him getting rights beaming smile which i think is nice for him#he deserves that tbh hes just a dad who accidentally dads his coworkers#chris is also one of the only ocs i have that doesnt spend the entire plot pining lmao#hes just divorced and now in a poly relationship but his daughter is from the divorce not one of the two hes dating#but he just is like hello there please look at my cute girlfriend and boyfriend#and right has to ask hey uh are you really dating two people and do they know you are dating two people#chris is just yup they sure do know considering they are also dating each other there are poly relationships buddy#and for what its worth i have not drawn either of the people he is dating yet they have names#and also both brent and right hate the boyfriend while karen is normally neutral but is swayed to dislike easily w him#oops i fell in love
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ive already said this before about how ive felt so disconnected from art. its all just lines and poses and specific distances away from the camera, layers of color... something triggered a switch in my brain that is making things just not feel real anymore.
and its like. ok. whatever. its still fun to draw and i get very happy when i manage to draw something good. but i lack the motivation! so.. lemme think.. ah! my characters! perhaps i should try to actually flesh them out as real people, with a past and personalities and relationships..
and the more i read about it the more disconnected i feel. is that all life is about? traits and backstories and being bound to everything that happened to you.. the ways you think and act being somewhat easily traceable to your history..character arcs. stories just being a means to an end(?)
and i also want a world for my ocs to live in that is a bit believable and justifies them, but every bit of advice and apparently common worldbuilding things have all just been done before.
is there any chance of making something that matters when its all been done before or if everything else feels unreal and abstract. is there a point to anything
#the more i try to understand how things work the more things fall apart. and when it becomes unbearable all i can do is distract myself#is this what the dissociation all the cool kids(/s) keep talking about feels like..?#its like losing the ability to see a tower as a tower and just knowing its all just bricks and cement. you cant see meaning anymore#the worst part ive felt while coming up with ideas for my ocs is the conflicts and past part. their characterization#ill think like lol wouldnt it be funny if he kept being fucked over many times and over and over again. wouldnt that be fun to make and rea#and then it hits me. thats just my life. its all conflict after conflict and things going wrong exactly at the worst (but funniest!) time#its like everything is a joke really. or when its not you still dont know why some pieces of art are 'better' than others#i know deep down it doesnt matter if its been done before. i argue for that. the spin every individual puts on an idea is what makes it >#>worth it of course. but i feel like snapping my own neck when i see something that is similar or just like something i made or >#>was literally just thinking of doing it. i never do anything! and when i finally get to it someone already did it! fucking shoot me alread#or i will look at some drawing and be like ah yes. this is the distance between the eyes. the way they drew the muzzle is like a box. mhm#i can do that. i see how the artist constructed it. its doable! and then i go try and fail miserably despite seemingly knowing how its made#everything i ever think is wrong. ive never been right about anything. or if i have..someone already said it before anyways#genuinely hopeless. i wonder if being mentally ill is the cause of this or if i was ill enough it would all spiral back into making sense#i feel like a baby just coming to the realization that a stick figure isnt really a person but some lines and circles and dots#im deteriorating mentally so fast. i think one day ill just collapse on the floor and black rot is going to pour out of my scalp#long post#dextxt
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I feel like I'm in middle school again. I'm fighting sleep because I want to finish a book. It's not working, and I'm going to have to finish tomorrow, but it's a nice feeling
#the book is boy parts by eliza clark#i didnt really know what it was about when i started reading it#but it drew me in so quick#i think its the first book im reading with an unreliable narrator#shes a very interesting character#fucked up in the head. but so interesting to read#i didnt know it was horror because it doesnt seem like it until the last like third of the book#you think shes a little off. a little too aggressive but its part of her srt so it makes sense#and then the hallucinations become more and more noticeable and she starts to doubt what she sees#and then its revealed that she killed a guy but shes not even sure of that#i like it a lot and i really want to finish it#but alas kindle says i have another hour left in it#and i simply cant stay awake that long
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drewpunk frotting but punks too messy so hes more hugging drew to the bed like a squirrl to its earned corn than strapping him in and his old man hands get tired after like two minutes so drew has
drewpunk fic w wedding symbolism entwined in da narrative
#0 likes and ill write drewpunk frot#i actually have had to get staples at the top of my head too#and i have a little scar but imagine what drews will look like#and i think its cool because#well ofc scars leave memories#but something that bigs not gonna#quite literally#leave his head#so i think that being that big of reminder of something he could never get#how it shows even if you put your blood sweat n tears into something (someone)#youll only leave you with a shitty scar#and then it bites at you that punk knows that too#but you dont know if you like that punk knows or not because a bitch like that doesnt deserve the last laugh#he shouldnt get to move on#idk#oh when i meant the scars were cool i mean like for symbolism reasons i hope drew a swift and safe recovery
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