#‘youre only 19’ only goes so far when i dont know any other fail 19 year olds
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yelloworangesoda · 10 months ago
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gotta get off the internet and only interact irl with people who were 30 before they got their shit together i cant keep doing it like this
#like this being. feeling like i have no future and nobody likes me#‘youre only 19’ only goes so far when i dont know any other fail 19 year olds#im not gonna be a damn dentist for sure but like. and ive said this a thousand times. what am i gonna do. i cant live a worthless nothing#life where i work a shitty job i hate. i have to like something#i hate my art. i hate my lack of creativity. my art is so bland i just dont think its in me anymore#i finished. and i hate it#i have other hobbies. i like to cross stitch. i like to sew. i like to paint. i like to make dolls. do you see the common theme here#i have a few more than that i technically could do but i cant create anymore and it kills me. i want to. i constantly want to but i cant#it doesnt help that even if i havw ideas i dont even want to do them#i was gonna draw some characters from a game i played when i was little but i just#didnt want to. at no point did it not feel like a chore#ill try to go to new mediums! its fun to mess around and then itll feel boring again and going back doesnt feel any better#idk. googling it is useless. ive tried all the things. for years. ive been TRYING to draw consistently and like. doodles are fine theyre fu#but theyre not what i want to do i want to make something im proud of. i drew almost every single day for like 2 years#and its not burnout bc its been like. 2 more years! and ive barely wanted to at all!!!#i want to be creative and i also want people to recognize it. different complaint but it sucks so bad#i feel like nobody likes me. still. nobody cares about what i do. nobody would care if i stopped#like except me but i can only support myself so far!!!! im so tired of it!!!! someone PLEASE be here for me and just say ‘hey i love this#drawing :)’ like you have no idea what that would do for me#not always. but yknow especially if its been a while. if you like it. if you dont like it :( idk. you should tell me that too i guess#yknow so i can have some confirmation so i dont feel like im crazy. idk. dont actually id never go online again. i would probably. well.#i dont like to say the words#simons spouting#vent :(
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dilfwaynes · 4 years ago
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hi!! can i request a hc of the batfam reaction of their eastasian!reader gf  experiencing racism? thank you <33
just a reminder if you took place in any involvement of asian hate block me rn bitch :)
a/n: i hope you enjoyed this anon, i tried to make it accurate without stepping over any boundaries since im not asian myself. if anyone finds any sort of this offensive pls dm me !!
warning ; racism, batfam beating hoes, mention of blood
parings : bruce wayne x asian!reader, jason tood x asian!reader, dick grayson x asian!reader, stephanie brown x asian!reader, tim drake x asian!reader, damian wayne x asian!reader
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BRUCE WAYNE:
it’ll honestly take a minute for bruce to realize what happened
when first entering the store he took notice of the man glaring but brushed it off thinking it was directed towards him as bruce wayne
you however didnt really pay attention to the dirty looks being thrown at you
with bruce excusing himself to the restroom and makes a promise of a quick return, you wander around the area by yourself
it was all fine until a man approaches you, giving a fast glance at him before turning away. there was definitely something up with him
“you don’t belong here”
your head shot up at his words, looking around you to make sure he was talking to you
“excuse me?” you lift an eyebrow at him, knowing what he was hinting at
“you fucking heard me, you don’t belong here. go back to your country.”
you inch away as he steps closer,”you better back the fuck away..”
he simply gives a smug face only coming closer,”or what?” you tighten your jaw when he loosely lets out a slur, your fists clenched.
“or i dislocate your arm.”bruce’s voice rings out, deep in anger as his eyes flicker to you and scanning to see if you were ok physically.
the ugly bitch’s face pales when he realizes who’s your boyfriend. without hesitation bruce yanks him away from you, slamming him to the wall
demanding for a first and last name,  squeezing his neck when the guy stays quiet
shaking he gives in and tells, flinching when bruce slams him against the wall one last time before dropping him
“i guaranteed whatever poor status you do contain i’ll tear it completely, say goodbye to your job.” he grabs for your hand and brings you into him as you both walk away.
“i’m sorry i shouldn’t have left you alone, my fault,”he presses a kiss to your temple.”and please don’t think any worth of that garbage’s words.”
you shake your head,”he was just some lowlife, not worth thinking about.” you reply leaning into him.
he looked at you and could tell no matter what those words still hurt somewhat and it angered him to no end
no one deserved to hear that disgusting shit, especially not his girlfriend.
his eyes hardens but doesn’t push further to make you anymore uncomfortable than you probably already are
giving another kiss to the side of your head he makes a quiet promise to himself not to leave you alone anymore in public with disgusting people like that around
jason todd:
as soon as the slur leaves the guy’s lips jason’s fist collides to his jaw, no doubt   shattering it
you and jason were grabbing lunch at some restaurant slash bar since it was the first time in a few days jason was free
everything was okay until you got up to go to the bathroom and some guy bumped into you
jason watched with hardening eyes as you apologize instead of the guy who slammed into you
“watch where the fuck you’re going at.”
you fall shock at the word, staying in place
while jason is on his feet in no time, swinging to the asshole’s face
screams were heard as well as the sound of bones breaking from his fist impact, the guy stumbling to the floor
“you racist fucking prick that’s my girlfriend you ugly fuck,”lifting him by his shirt he grabs his face and turns him to you.”apologize to her before i break your fucking face.”
he quickly rambles apologizes, crying in fear or pain. most likely a mix of both
jaaon lets him go and gives him another punch, this time to the nose. finding satisfaction at the pool of blood now seeping out
jason grabs your hand and starts to lead you outside,”let’s go eat somewhere else and forget about this shithole.”
you barely had time to give a reaction to anything as everything happened so fast
“hey look at me, don’t listen to that worthless fuck and his fucked up mindset. i dont know what to say to comfort you since i never experienced anything like this.” he stops at the car, placing his hands onto your shoulders
you nod sighing lightly, you only wanted a simple lunch with your boyfriend but instead got hate crime for simply  breathing.
“it’s nothing i haven’t gone through before,”he shakes his head blue eyes filling up with rage.
“no one’s gonna be doing that anymore, or at least getting away with it while i’m around
DICK GRAYSON:
he was completely taken by surmise at the slur being thrown at you, as well as the fault of you being the root of the covid 19
but before he had any time to react you were already on your feet glaring,”the fuck you just called me you piece shit.”
before he could reply you already kneed him and punched him between the eyes, dick laughing at the cries of pain
“you want me to take over or you wanna handle it babe?”
even how badly he wanted to beat the shit out of the pos the choice was yours
you denied and wanted to handle this on your own
but everytime the guy tried to get up dick would just shake his head and tell him to stay down, or simply push him back down
eventually if you start going too far richards would pull you away and tell you hes not worth it
he understands your anger but he doesn’t want you to past a line you won’t recover from bc of some worthless grime
“c’mon, he’s not worth anymore of our time. lets go eat pizza.”
DAMIAN WAYNE:
swing first talk later
he’ll just look at guy for a few seconds with a blank face
then he’s literally knocking them out
will probably kick him into the wall or ground
u dont know if you wanna pull him away because you already the tabloids, or if you wanna let him continue to beating the guy
damian probably wouldn’t realize how much he beat the guy to a pulp until you’re tugging him away
nudging his neck with to your nose to try and calm him down
he’ll end the fight with spitting on him tbh
your face reddens with anger when your eyes met the racist bitch, enjoying the view of his blood on the floor
“racist piece of shit,” he hisses before finally turning his back brow still frowning with anger
unlike the others (mentioned) he also knows and experienced racism and understands your point view way more
and know bow to comfort you better tbh
afterwards he’ll talk to you and comfort you, as well as opening up about his racist encounters, as well as his mothers.
if you’re still upset about what happened some hours later he 100% offers to beat up the guy again
you laugh it off cos hes serious about doing detective work, finding the guy and beating him to a pulp
you thank him but deny his offer and settle to confiding into him and just telling him how your feelings
STEPHANIE BROWN:
“are you fucking serious right now bitch?”
steph deadpans staring at the girl who called you the slur with ease, going on about how you were the cause of corona and to go back to your country
shocked at the words, hearing all of this before but it still doesn’t fail everytime you hear them
turning to you and seeing the hurt on your face from the word, she quickly turns to seeing red
without a second thought she grabs the collar of the woman’s shirt
“you’re gonna fucking apologize to my girlfriend right now or i’m gonna slam your face into the floor and break it
you stay still, pleased at watching the girl shake in fear under steph as she chokes out a mesh of a shit rushed apologizes
stephanie throws her down to the ground after her third apologize
“are you okay?” she knew you weren’t but asking the question would lead into the stage of comforting you
you nod but go on to tell her that this isn’t the first or last time this will happen, but it still never fails to shock you
she frowns at your experiences and doesn’t quite know what to do to help since she never went thru anything like that
she offers to take you to your favorite restaurant and end the day in wayne manor watching whatever you wanted
smiling when you accept, pulling you in her and pressing a kiss on-top of your head
“dont worry i’ll beat any jackass that pulls any racist shit.”
TIM DRAKE:
i think he’ll be the less  violent one out of everyone
he would honestly be so disgusted and gross out at humanity and how the woman thinks shes superior just because she’s white
if it was a guy saying what was said, then he would probably hit them ngl
but he takes the higher road with the woman, belittling and ending her with his vocabulary
and you’re pretty sure that his words hurt her more than an actual punch would 
you laugh when he compares her built to a buffalo
he then goes on to a more education lean, explaining how skin tone has nothing to do with a person, and she should adapt to modern times and stop being a racist cunt
after he ends it he goes on to find out who she is and email/call her workplace to inform what kind of employee they have
probably also goes on to make sure she wont be hired anywhere else
comforts you alot and and will get you anything you want
prob gets you both milkshakes as you vent to him about today and other racist things said to you
hates how you have to go thru any of this for simply existing
the  incident opens his eyes and he starts talking to bruce about opening a charity for ‘stop asian hate’
would shy away from the press and say you both came up with the fund
u’ll dismiss that rq and tell everyone it was all tim’s idea
all the money goes people got assaulted and paying for any hospital bills or anything needed
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shyrose57 · 4 years ago
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Brothers anon back with a worked out timeline! And Misstressoffandoms sorry im responding so late! I completely missed your reply. Thats what I ended up doing but im hoping to eventually be able to completely copy those eailer asks and put them on my notes app.
When this gets a major update I'll resend if you want me too.
CURRENT AGES! (When they left Subbin)
Ran-19
Ranbob-26 (Previously 28 but decided to change it a bit, decided I didn't like the 9 year age difference between the brothers)
Watson-33 (Previously 35 but decided to change it a bit)
Jackie-16
Grievous-22
Benjamin-30
Cletus-24
Charles-25 (Previously 27 but decided to change it)
Isaac-29
CURRENT TIME LINE! (THIS IS NOT INDEPTH AND IS INSTEAD INTENDED TO GIVE A BRIEF SUMMARY OF EVERYTHING, DETAILS MAY BE CHANGED DEPENDING ON WHATS ADDED)
-Dream gets control of Ranbob and uses him to basically commit genocide in Mizu, Ran barely escapes. 
-After living alone for 6 years Ran arrives in Subbin, takes part in the Pit tournament, and gains a family. At the same time the fishermen find and rescue Ranbob, bringing him to their home.
-2 years past with Ranbob recovering and having a haunting, and Ran fighting while spending time with his own haunting. 
-Isaac manages to convince his group to go to Subbin even though Ranbob is a bit nervous, the fishermen join The Pit for the promise of money and fun. Ranbob gets pinned against Ran (doesnt know its Ran) and sees the King of The Hill is on with Ran at the top. Ranbob climbs up to see Ran there, he is shocked and approaches him with weapon dropped and shaking, Ran kicks him off the edge. Ranbob slams his head into the ground and dislocates his shoulder, rises up to see the King of The Hill dropping. Ranbob tries to talk to Ran only for Ran to run to him and slam him into the ground, yelling at and threatening him. He carries him over to the edge of the arena and at this point Porkius calls off the fight and the fishermen and Gladiators enter the arena to seperate them. Ran cursing out Ranbob as he gets dragged away. Ranbob gets treated in the medical wing as Ran storms about and the two groups talk and match everything up.
-Weeks past with incredible tension in the air. They decide that taking a trip may help and after getting approval from Porkius, manage to convince Ranbob and trick Ran to come along.
-After agurements and tense moments while in a carriage, they get out and walk to their next destination. A flower biome. Where they manage to relax and have fun for a few days before moving on.
-Next Watson leads them to a nearby waterfall he found with a tunnel behind it, the brothers get water splashed on them by Isaac and Jackie being idiots, and from dripping water in the cave, leaving Ran with burns to his neck and hands, while Ranbob has burns to his cheeks and also to his neck. The burns fade quickly with help of burn cream Watson brought with. 
-After they pass the tunnel they see a shattered Savanna, and decide to travel through it. Tension ramps up when both Grievous and Cletus almost fall off halfway up a mountain, and when Rans scowling and growling end up sending Ranbob so far away from him he almost walks off the edge. 
-Watson says the Savanna is to dangerous and leads them to a nearby roofed forest, where they have their first run in with Raq and learn that Ran is still being hunted. 
-After 3 morw run-ins with Raq they move to another forest, this time Oak, and stumble upon a village, where they stop for supplies. This is also where they learn of Kelalen, but the librarian they learned it from dismisses them as lunatics and to avoid them. Upon pressing for more info they find out it was like Mizu, to which Ranbob shows interest and excitement.
-They move on to a Tagia biome where everyone attempts to tame a wolf and fails, expect Charles, Watson, and Ran. Charles gets 4 dogs from this and is very happy.
-While running to shelter in a cave from a thunderstorm, the brothers lag behind the rest, and start to badly agure. At the end Ran shouts something that makes Ranbob stop, stare at him with teary eyes, and run away. Ran almost goes after him but doesnt and instead goes to tell the others. While Ranbob finds another smaller cave to hide it, and after some harsh words, everyone goes searching for him. Leaving Ran alone and leaving him with his guilt ridden, horrible feeling, and merciless mind
-They get Ranbob to come back to find Ran gone, at first almost no one wants to go after him. Saying how it's all his fault. But eventually they agree to look for him after the storm has passed. Its a full day until the storm passes and the gladiators have become very worried for Ran. 
-When they finally look for him, it takes them hours to find him. And they only find him when there's a sudden shout through the woods, leading them to Raq mid-attack on Ran, taking advantage of his distraction of being lost in his own mind. Sadly their a bit late and aren't able to save Ran from a blindness potion. But are able to chase Raq away. Ran suffers due to the potion, and everyone is distressed.
-3 days pass until they manage to collect themselves up enough to move, after Ranbob said that he believes the town of Kelalen is nearby, he believes traveling there is worth the risk.
-It takes a week to travel to Kelalen and at first they get turned away, before Lucia recognizes some features of Ranbob and feels bad turning them away when Ran is blind. So they get brought in and Ran gets cured. 
-They stay in Kelalen for 4 weeks (minimum, may be more later on, im actually thinking along the lines of months) where they learn more about everything and Foolish who is particularly interesting. And after a while and long conversations they say goodbye and continue on to their next biome, a snow biome.
-While in the snow biome they meet a particular old enderman who used to live with members of the SMP. He reveals his name as Edward and upon meeting Ran and Ranbob he makes the connection with them to Ranboo. And starts to happily tell stories and teach lessons. But when Ran leaves to go to bed, Edward reveals that Ran does love Ranbob, but is struggling with his own nightmares that make it hard for him to show it to Ranbob. Who hesitates believing him, but eventually does. From here on Ranbob looks at and thinks of Ran in a different view. 
-After the snow biome theres no real destination next on their list, so they decide to just explore. 
-3 months past before something interesting happens. Whenever they come across a village Jackie has formed a habit of asking them about Foolish, as he took a interest in him. And he eventually gets a village that goes "Yes Foolish is that way." And he excitedly drags everyone else with him to meet Foolish. 
-They get to Foolish's home and start exploring. Jackie is alone when Foolish confronts him and Jackie brings him to the others. Foolish isn't exactly nice at first but warms up upon seeing the brothers again, as he's reminded of Ranboo. Hes informed about Dream and he is horrified to learn that and offers his help, they decline beliving themselves already free of Dream. Just before the group leaves Foolish gives them access to his armoury, saying how he feels like they'll need it. Before Ran can leave Foolish gives him a special totem of undying, saying he truly means he'll help, and that he feels they may face Dream again. Foolish tells Ran to break it when they need help and he'll be summoned to them. Ran leaves disturbed.
-2 years have passed with the group and brothers getting closer, along with occasional attacks from Raq and other hunters. They head back to Subbin. Their goal of getting the brothers closer achieved. Their still not as close as they used to be, but their close enough they can joke around, be left in the same room together alone without someone being stabbed, and even hug. Though Ran still hasnt fully forgiven Ranbob yet, but he's trying his best. Their on their way back to Subbin when nightmares between the two start ramping up, and Ranbobs episodes where he tries to run back to Dream are also on the rise. Everyone is starting to suspect something is happening but isn't sure what and so try to move on. When next Raq attack he brings back up again, this time instead of focusing on Ran, they focus on Ranbob. When Raq is defeated and finally caught, they ask why, and Raq reveals that theres a person who put a high bounty on Ranbob. Raq dies from Ran and Cletus.
-Ranbob fears its Dream, the others comfort him saying Dream can't escape Mizu. Their wrong.
-They finally get to Subbin and things are normal for a while, until Porkius reveals that Ranbob probably shouldn't be alone for a while. When asked why he reveals that the bounty on Ranbob has been put back up in Subbin, although he's going as fast as he can to nullify it. Benjamin, Charles, and Watson go to the local bar where bounties are put. And sure enough there's one for Ranbob there.
-When they get back Ran reveals what Foolish told him about facing Dream. They realizie Dream somehow got out and is hunting Ranbob down. Ranbob is terrified but they manage to comfort him. And they come to the conclusion they need to fight Dream. They spend months preparing and training for it. 
-(This is the end bit and has yet to be fully figured out. So it'll be added in at a later time.)
Notes: During the whole time traveling, unless specified, Ran and Ranbob are far away from each other. Ran tending to be in the very front of the group with Ranbob in the very back. And whenever Ranbob got close to a gladiator Ran would growl at him to back off. 
If you have any questions feel free to ask! (And if I missed anything please tell me so I can add it)
And I wanna check, am I still ok to send these?- to like talk about my au or no?- I'm afraid I've overstayed my welcome honestly and if I did I dont want to annoy you and will stop! And if you still don't mind, is there anything you want me to change? In general?
This’ll be helpful for the future! Also, Charles has four dogs, that’s adorable. 
Of course you’re okay to send ‘em, I love reading these things! 
I will never be annoyed about getting to see someone’s cool ideas and see how they choose to build on them. That sort of thing is awesome, and I love seeing it, your AU most certainly a favorite in that like. Send as many as you’d like, and I’ll be all the happier for it.
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brokenjardaantech · 4 years ago
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Blue-tinted Red Walls (Chapter 4: Out of control)
my entry for the @dbhau-bigbang. also part of the groom lake aftermath series.
chapter summary:
In the past, Reyes went missing.
In the present, Connor makes a decision.
In the past, Connor embarked on his first mission, and Allen received a warning.
also on ao3
---
Before
[reyes was supposed to be back by 4]
[its 10 now]
[im scared sister]
[i dont know where he is]
[he isnt answering my calls]
[sister?]
[sara?]
[fadia?]
[sister where are you im scared please dont leave me alone]
[we were out but i went home when got scared just like you said]
[sister]
[sister]
[sister]
[sis]
[sis]
[sis]
[49 missed calls from scoot bruh]
‘Fuck.’
Dialled. Pulled up Reyes’ programmes. 
Time remaining: 3 min 28 sec… 
Override accepted. Time remaining: 19 sec...
Calling scoot bruh…
‘Sister! I lost Reyes!’
‘Anything from him yet?’
‘Nothing! We were out shopping for paint -’
‘Where did you go?’
‘Huh?’
‘Where did -’
‘I - I -’
A sigh. Of course. ‘Don’t worry. I have a way to find him. You said you are at home?’
‘Y-yeah.’
‘Lock the doors. Do not, under any circumstances, let everyone in unless it’s confirmed that it’s me. Not even if they claim to be Reyes.’
‘But -’
‘Brother.’
‘O-okay.’ A pause. ‘It’s done.’
‘Good.’ Encryption has begun. Estimated time remaining: about 3 hrs. ‘How much food do you have? And your meds?’
‘Why?’
‘Answer me.’
‘A - a week? More if I eat less? Same for the meds.’
‘Let’s hope we won’t come to that.’ Last known coordinates: [navpoint set]. ‘Don’t miss your meds no matter what. I’m heading out.’
‘Where?’
Checked coordinates. ‘I will make sure Reyes comes back no matter the cost.’
‘Sister -’
Call ended.
o0o0o
Alec was either stupid or was too proud. The tracker on Reyes had never stopped sending out signals telling Fadia where he was, and it was through this that she found herself into Zug Island, passing guards completely undetected on one of the few bridges connected to the island under the cover of the night and reached the outermost perimeter of Reyes’ signal, one that was too large for him to be above ground. There was something underneath; she just needed to find the entrance. Following a trail composed of the android’s GPS signal, she stood next to a pair of heavy steel doors that were in the ground instead of being fixed onto a wall or on the side of a mountain. When she grabbed the handles on one of the doors, she found it too heavy to lift up with raw strength alone, therefore, risking detection by letting blue wash over her body, she tapped into her power and successfully moved it out of her way onto the ground nearby, revealing a metal ladder leading down a few metres to a metal floor. She sent her coordinates to Scott through an encrypted network before descending the ladder into a dark and unlit hallway. 
It went on for about ten metres before a metal gate blocked her way. As she had her powers on anyway, she focused on creating a sphere behind the gate and lobbed it down the shaft, first to determine what it was (a lift shaft), then to find out how far it went - at least dozens of metres, most likely more; straight down, no other stops apart from the end because there were no other floors to begin with. The sphere dissipated once it hit the end of the shaft or most likely the top of the lift itself. Flashing blue again, she found a panel with two unmarked buttons on the left wall, one red, the other most likely turned from white to a cream colour due to the passage of time. She had no idea if there were other entrances or what would be waiting for her deep underground, but the longer things dragged on, the more scared and alone Scott would feel, and she was in this too far to let him die from a heart attack after years of effort; she pressed the cream button and successfully called up the lift.
She liked the rumbling and trembling as the lift descended into the deep. There was nothing between the carriage and bare stone, not even an extra gate, and as darkness swallowed her and her hunger became acute, she retracted her powers and let everything completely wash over her. 
How bold of Alec to assume that she didn’t know his tricks. 
oOoOo
Now
Many years later, as the lift ascends slowly to their desired floor, Connor closes his eyes and is transported to the Zen Garden. Except it is not exactly the one he is familiar with, he realises soon enough, but he finds himself locked in when he tries to escape back to reality, and the garden shifts and distorts before he can determine exactly why it feels different, the shapes stretching and rearranging themselves until he is standing in front of a large plane of glass rattling from the blizzard outside, the latter barely contained by - he turns around - a concrete room, interior dimensions [fluctuating].
A door that was not there before on the opposite wall opens. A person steps in and closes it behind them, and the wall is whole once more. Connor scans them by instinct and is taken aback by the lack of markers and the [CLASSIFIED]s that pops up when he tries to identify them. He still catalogues vital information for future cross-referencing: height: 6.6 ft; middle-eastern descent; eye colour: extreme dark brown (black?); scar on face running from right temple to ear lobe, estimated at least 10 years old. 
‘Don’t bother,’ the person says as they approach Connor. He tries to pre-construct their path and finds himself unable to do so. ‘It’s futile.’
‘What -’ Connor does not like how his companion - and quite possibly the one who hacked the Zen Garden programme - looms over him, but his feet are stuck - ‘where is Amanda?’
‘Asleep.’ They settle standing next to Connor, and he is finally allowed to move - subtly, of course - further away from them. If they notice, they do not say anything about it. ‘I thought you would be more relieved.’
‘You successfully hacked into the most advanced AI programme CyberLife has ever created,’ the person lifts a [sceptical] eyebrow at that, ‘so pardon me if I’m a bit wary of you.’
‘Fair enough,’ is the response he gets. ‘Still, I would like you to relax. This is going to be a long day.’
‘Androids don’t get tired,’ Connor replies automatically. ‘There is no need for us to rest or relax.’
‘Bullshit.’
The clipped tone startles the android. ‘What?’ he tries to process the single word his companion said but nothing else comes out, so he asks, ‘Who are you?’
The person’s expression turns [pensive]. ‘He wiped you after all.’
Connor is even more confused now. ‘Who?’
He fails to look away quick enough, and the human manages to catch his eyes with their glowing blue ones; when they speak, their voice is everywhere.
‘Forget.’
oOoOo
‘Hey Connor!’
Connor opens his eyes and blinks. Old cage lifts are slow but not that slow, but he still feels like a longer time has passed. Adding not remembering what he just did to the list and you end up with a confused android.
‘You ran outta batteries or what?’ Hank asks from where he is already outside of the lift. Unable to explain certainly what happened, there is only one route Connor can go.
‘I’m sorry,’ he apologises. ‘I was making a report to CyberLife.’ Yes, he is remembering now: he was making a report (or at least intended to, his processor supplies), but when he tries to dive deeper into his memory, he finds it gone. Blank where a draft should be.
Hank makes a noise. Connor keeps staring. ‘Well, do you plan on staying in the elevator?’
‘No!’ Why can’t he move his legs? ‘I’m coming!’
And he still doesn’t move. Hank sighs and moves on.
‘What do we know about this guy?’ the human asks from further down the corridor.
‘Not much,’ there his legs are. ‘Just that a neighbour reported that he heard strange noises coming from this floor. Nobody is supposed to be living here, but the neighbour said he saw a man hiding a LED under his cap.’
‘Oh Christ, if we have to investigate every time someone -’
Connor kneels down next to a sizable dustball and lets the world go grey. Analysis: feathers from [Columbia livia: rock pigeon. Comprised of different specimens.]
‘- hears a strange noise, we’re gonna need more cops.’
The android knocks on the door and feels the paint chip underneath his knuckles. When there is no response, Hank shrugs from where he is leaning against the door frame, so Connor knocks again, this time harder, and adds, ‘Anybody home?’
No response. Hank frowns. Time to add some pressure. ‘Open up!’ Connor yells. ‘Detroit Police!’
A loud thump. They both flinch. Hank draws his gun and moves to stand in front of Connor. ‘Stay behind me.’
‘Got it.’
Hank kicks the door open and walks in. He is not attacked instantly, which means both of them are safe for now, so Connor follows him into the flat, letting the human take the lead while he rounds into the room directly next to the front door. A small, dusty window letting in some light, a few octagonal mazes painted on the wall, a chair with a broken back, a radiator unit lying on the floor, a wooden frame which might have been the frame of a bed years ago - nothing noteworthy for now. He returns to the hallway and disturbs a - pigeon? - which flaps its wings and flies off to somewhere behind him.
Hank shoulders the next door open, and out fly even more pigeons directly into his face. The foul smell forces Connor to tone down his nasal sensitivity.
‘What the fuck is this?’ he exclaims as he walks even deeper into the lair and causes even more pigeons to fly towards all directions, and he flaps his arms in the way the pigeons do as if to slap them away. ‘Jesus, this place stinks.’
Pre-constructing the situation and determining that Hank will not be in any danger, Connor goes off on his own to the other side of what seems to be a living room once. The floor is sticky with [avian faecal matter], and when he opens the door to something that was once a closet, there are only more pigeons. The wall next to it is covered in mazes similar to the one he saw in the previous room, and a beam of light escaping the hold of the wooden planks boarding off the windows shines on the poster, its curled corner indicating that it has been moved recently. ‘Looks like we came for nothing,’ Hank says from somewhere behind Connor as he peels off the Urban Farms of Detroit poster, ‘our man’s gone.’
Maybe not, Connor thinks as he takes the worn notebook from the nook in the wall. ‘I need fresh air,’ he hears Hank mutter, and when he flips over the pages, he finds not only many more labyrinths - some of them incomplete - but also an entire text written in a language not in his databases. He stashes it in the pocket of his jacket and moves on, barely catching the human’s question and replying, ‘I don’t know. It looks like a notebook but it’s… indecipherable.’
There are two fridges. The smaller one with its door open was evidently used as a shelf so Connor does not bother to check it. When he opens the door of the larger one, there is no food inside at all, and a peek towards the back of the fridge confirms that it is not connected to any power. Whoever their suspect is, they do not eat. Not human.
He moves on to the counter covered in mounts of avian faecal matter. A pigeon is picking on a plastic bag spilling out of a cardboard box, and it jumps away when he tries to pet it. Well, it only makes picking up the box - Ol’Barn bird seed - more convenient, so Connor is not going to complain even though a tang of [disappointment] courses through his veins. [Suspect cares for wild animals.]
There is a military jacket on the cabinet. R.T. is sewn on the collar and above the flap of the breast pocket. ‘R.T,’ he says to himself, ‘probably initials.’
‘He put initials on his jacket?’ Hank replies. ‘That’s something your mum does -’ A driver’s license in the cupboard. Name: Rupert Travis. Authenticity: forgery. ‘- when you’re in first grade!’
‘The driver’s licence is fake,’ he reports, throwing the card away as it serves no more purpose unlike the notebook which needs deciphering. It is enough evidence to bring the suspect back to the precinct.
‘Cool!’ it seems that the Lieutenant has the same line of thought. ‘At least we didn’t come for nothing.’
The bathroom through the doorless frame is in ruins. The bathtub is filled with a mixture of feathers and faecal matter, the tiles on the wall are cracked, and dirt and grime and leaves no doubt brought inside by the pigeons cling to the corners of the sink. A sink stained with thirium and an LED placed on top. 
He takes a sample. [Model WB200 #847 004 961. Reported missing: 10/11/2036]. So the deviant could have been here for more than two years. If it does nothing but feeding the wild animals, that will explain the state of disrepair of the flat.
‘Real books,’ Hank has no doubt discovered the cabinet. ‘I thought I was the last guy in Detroit to keep some.’
Connor picks up the LED and runs a scan. It was just deactivated this morning. [Suspect is a deviant.] ‘Its LED is in the sink.’
‘Not surprised it was an android,’ Hank walks in and finds the rA9s scribbled all over the wall. ‘No human could live with all these fuckin’ pigeons. Any idea what it means?’
‘rA9,’ the sheer number requires a pause to let Connor concentrate on counting, ‘written 2471 times. It is the same sign Ortiz’s android wrote on the shower wall.’ He compares the findings with the data he can access. ‘Why are they obsessed with this sign?’
But Hank is already leaving, which means that he fails to see the toppled chair and the still-wet marker on the floor, which also means that -
The suspect was here recently.
In a grey world, Connor watches the yellow-outlined silhouette run out to the living room where a cage has fallen. He hears Hank comment on the birdseed, but his focus is on the recent skid marks at the bottom of the cage, the finger marks without fingerprints, also recent, and the metal hook broken not long ago, and his world goes grey again, the figure first running for the entrance and accidentally breaking the cage, then, upon hearing someone entering their flat, runs towards the armchair underneath a hole in the ceiling and climbs.
The suspect is still here.
He looks up at the wide gap and the attic beyond that can easily fit a few adults comfortably, the darkness making the details difficult to distinguish, and perhaps this is why it is already too late when he hears the footsteps, a force knocking him down and disorienting him from everything else except for Hank’s surprised shout. Static still tingling his senses, he freezes and watches the deviant flee after he stands up, Hank’s order the only thing propelling him forward to start the chase. 
And chase he does. Turns out Rupert does not live far from where he deviated, as when Connor crashes the door to get to the outside world, the farms are right there only a building away, fields of wheat, greenhouses filled with racks of vegetables, rows of lavender, and even the top of a train a blur of colours behind him as his vision alternates between the colourful reality and the slowed-down grey of his pre-construction programme. The corn scratches his face and scrapes his jacket, but he knows that he is getting there, he is going to catch the deviant, he can’t let it escape, not after Ortiz’s android -
And it happens. Hank has somehow caught up with Rupert and is engaged in a struggle with the android, and in an attempt to get away, the latter pushes and runs towards the left.
Hank falls. The world slows down.
From his speed while he was running, Connor determines that he is strong enough to pull himself up from the ledge with an 89% chance of survival, so logically, he should continue chasing the deviant so that CyberLife can solve the crisis earlier and Hank won’t be in any more danger. But a voice within him that sounds like a shadow tells him that the deviant was only working just like any other human and was only taking care of the animals. He was hurt, and now he can’t even go back to his pigeons, his home.
^^Software Instability
He dashes towards Hank and pulls him up.
‘We had it!’ Hank lets out a string of curses while he stands. ‘Fuck!’
Connor instantly feels bad. ‘It’s my fault. I should have been faster.’
They watch the deviant’s silhouette become smaller and smaller in the distance and completely disappear behind a building. ‘You’d have caught it if it weren’t for me,’ Hank says, still panting. He places a warm, heavy hand on Connor’s shoulder. ‘That’s alright. We know what it looks like. We’ll find it.’
Connor knows that they won’t. 
The hand moves to the centre of his back. ‘C’mon,’ Hank guides him to the fire exit, ‘let’s report that bastard.’
oOoOo
Before
RK800, serial #313 248 317 - 51 opens his eyes for the first time. Information floods in through his HUD, displaying the exact hue of the lights overhead, the model of the 3D printer at the corner, and the materials of the boots the person standing in front of him is wearing. The badge only says ‘PROJECT LEAD’, and when he automatically utilises his facial recognition software, he finds both their name and their criminal record classified. Scans of their body also return with no result. Even though he has no actual experience, his coding tells him that this is not supposed to happen.
‘RK800,’ the person begins, ‘register name: Connor.’
[Name: Connor] appears on his HUD. He - Connor - finds himself repeating, ‘My name is Connor.’
The person’s expression changes. Emotion identified: amusement. ‘No redundant protocols. Good. Let’s play a game, shall we?’
A game turned into a few games, and the silence stretched on as Connor was presented with different scenarios to solve and predict their conclusion before halfway through them. First was a deck of cards, then a game of chess, then a rat going through a maze, then a supercharged piece of glass - that was the most difficult one as he was only given a second to pre-construct before a tree-like pattern appears from within the glass. The person never said their name, only commenting on his performance when he finished a task - regardless if he succeeded or not - and taking notes on a tablet by writing with a stylus. An unknown curiosity encouraged him to scan the human in front of him, but apart from superficial features such as the lack of dander on their clothing, results were inconclusive, and his programming indicated that this was abnormal.
‘Your LED is spinning yellow,’ they noted. ‘What are you thinking about?’
Connor knows it is a test on his social relations programme. Options: truth, lie, deflect, comment.
[truth]
‘When I was scanning you…’ he frowned, ‘only superficial scans come back with results. I cannot detect your life signs nor can I identify you through facial recognition. Is that expected?’
The person took out a putty and gave it to Connor. ‘Yes for me,’ they replied. ‘It is to protect my identity in case anti-android folks find me. The less data everyone has on me, the less likely it is for people to bring me harm.’
Connor nodded in understanding but his focus was on the putty. It was initially a soft green, but after he kneaded it for a few seconds it turned sky blue - not that he had seen the sky before, but databases worth of images was enough to give him an idea - and when he spread it out into a thin slice on the table, it slowly turned green again. He smiles uncontrollably as he met the person’s gaze, a corner of his lips curling upwards, and he could sense the approval radiating from the person sitting on the opposite side of the small desk. 
‘If you want to, I can bring you to see the sky,’ they said as if sensing his thoughts. ‘It’s rare to have a sunny day in Detroit, but they do exist. I can only programme so much into your system before letting you learn the rest from experience.’
Connor had to close his eyes as he browsed different forms of media on sunny days and imagined the warm sun on his sensors. He might not know it himself, but he was smiling, and so was his companion, albeit on a smaller scale. ‘I’d like that.’
He returned to the putty, this time trying to make different 3D shapes out of it. The edge of his vision was red as usual, and as he moved on to make even more complex figurines out of the putty, it crept closer and closer to the centre until everything was tinged the same colour. From the [satisfied] smile on the person’s face, he must be going towards the correct direction with the test.
‘Well, the sky needs to wait.’
Connor looked up from the rough sculpture he made that was supposed to resemble a tree he saw in a photo in confusion. His companion stood up so he did as well, the red receding out of place and returning the colours back to his vision.
‘I have a mission for you.’
o0o0o
Less than an hour later, the same person sat in the darkened cab of a truck. There was an earpiece in their ear, and whatever the other side was feeding them, their dissatisfaction was clearly shown in their expression. 
Something made them sigh and turn their gaze outside the window where another CyberLife truck was parked. Personnel, probably hand-picked by Alec Ryder himself, loaded the broken PL600 piece by piece into a special foam box to preserve the state they found the biocomponents in to let technicians analyse what went wrong with him and what caused him to break away from his programming, but they knew that CyberLife was not going to find anything - they had not been for the past ten years, and the hypothesis they had was not going to get any results. It was either a miracle or pure stupidity that they could not think of another possibility regarding why androids were deviating.
From their angle, Captain Allen was seen carrying a deactivated Connor out from the building with another SWAT team member, and they knew that their time had arrived. Peeling off the skin of their hand, they interfaced with the truck to turn it into manual mode, effectively preventing it from taking off once the android was loaded at the back. They opened the door - both the passenger and the one at the back - and slid off the seat just in time for the Captain and his subordinate to arrive.
‘You from CyberLife?’ not-Allen asked. Standing in front of their superior, they did not notice him freeze upon seeing the person’s face, and the latter silently moved into their space to take their end of the stretcher and came face to face with Allen.
‘I’ll take it from here, Jamie,’ the Captain requested without taking his eyes off the person in front of him. ‘You go see how the others are doing.’
‘Aye aye, Captain.’ The second aye was much less jovial than the first, so Jamie must have finally noticed their Captain’s mood and adjusted accordingly. 
They watched Jamie jog away. As soon as they reached out of sight, the person cocked their head to tell Allen to load the body into the truck, but he did not return to his teammates even after the android was secure and sound.
‘You,’ he suddenly snapped at the only person in his proximity. The fact that he had to look up quite a bit to look at them in the eye did not diminish the fire in his eyes. ‘Why the fuck are you here?’
‘Don’t act so surprised, Captain,’ they said, looking down at the man in front of them. ‘You’re smart enough to figure it out.’
‘And you’re not smart enough to fucking disappear for the rest of your goddamned fucking life!’ Allen gritted. ‘You know you’re wanted for murdering thousands of people, don’t you?’
‘And you know that CyberLife turned it into a dumpster and made it impossible to gather evidence against me, don’t you?’
Allen pulled out his pistol and pointed it at their chin. ‘Face the truck. Hands on the hood.’
A wisp of blue reached out from their right hand and crushed the weapon into pieces. ‘Don’t forget what I can do, Captain,’ they crowded even closer to the Captain, and he took a step back. ‘I can repeat that, you know? Except there’re far more than a few thousand people here this time. None of you will suffer.’ A tendril picked up the scraps on the ground while they yanked Allen’s hand outward and forced it open, in which the pieces later fell. ‘Go back to your people, Captain. Practise. You will need every edge you have.’
They stared at each other. A blue glow emerged from Allen’s hand with his former weapon, and with a crackle of static and dark energy, the scraps were gone just like the site of the dumpster, torn apart molecularly into fundamental particles too small for the naked eye to perceive. He let out a sound of pain and nearly toppled, a hand on his shoulder the only thing keeping him from crashing onto the ground. Another hand shot out and brushes his thigh, black metal glowing faint blue in the darkness in an interface. Allen seemed to stand better afterwards.
‘This should last you for a few hours,’ the person said as if the Captain was not glaring at them.
‘You’ll not get away with this.’
‘It isn’t yours to decide.’
The tension in Allen’s spine snapped, and he walked away with brisk but slightly limping steps. The person gazed at Connor’s thirium-stained face before slamming the door shut and crammed themself into the driver’s seat, guiding the truck towards a direction not leading to CyberLife Tower under the cover of the night.
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hey-hamlet · 5 years ago
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BNHA AU Ideas : Quirkless Erasure
Also on AO3!
TL;DR: 
In some worlds, Midoriya Izuku is the first quirkless hero. But not in this one, not by far.
Because his homeroom teacher is the hero he's always looked up to: UA's first quirkless Pro Hero.
----
Izuku isn't the only quirkless one, and Aizawa gets into the hero course via emotional devastation against his opponents.
anyway so: quirkless aizawa bc i need that
everyone thinks he has a quirk like emotional manipulation of something but no he's just fucking savage, he gets into the hero course bc he blasted the absolute shit out of mic
everything’s on youtube it’s one of the most viewed videos of all time
this aizawa's eyes are permanently gold bc i headcanon it's his quirk that makes his eyes black, not the colour they flash
"you yell because you have a constant fear no one is really listening to you. you play the class clown and don't try too hard so when you look back you think "i failed because i didn't try" not "i failed because i wasn't good enough""
"bro,,, bro what the fuck did i do to you"
aizawa isn’t even salty he’s quirkless tbh
"you're pushing this on me because it hurts, right? your loud, flashy but damaging quirk means the only thing people think you're useful for is heroics. did you want to do this, or is this the only way society will let you feel comfortable in the role it presses in on you"
"well being quirkless is rough but at least i cn be whatever i want to be"
mics just shell shocked mics not even using his quirk and everyone’s just uwu he’s erasing mics quirk
all aizawa does is walk is close and mutter "society thinks im worthless, which is rough. but you have to put your life on the line or you're nothing better than a villain to the people"
and just, lightly pushes him out of bounds
pls mics just in Love this guy tore him to fucking pieces but Damn
aizawa  helps him up off the floor
"so im probably not wrong but im a little sorry for saying it on live tv"
mic "youre amazing"
aizawa just goes bright red and starts sputtering
aizawa: the emotional devastation hero weakness: genuine compliments
consider 1A teacher aizawa just still made of emotional devastation, nezu made him promise not to use his powers of destruction on his children unless he was expelling them 
this is a quirkless izuku au too, mirio got ofa, allmight encouraged izuku to be a hero after the fight but had no quirk to give him and he manages to make his own way into the hero course
so izuku is a little analyst, gets mostly hero points but uses sharp rebar and poles to smash in the sensors of some robots, getting him a few non-rescue points either. Aizawa is watching like "oh interesting a non-combat quirk" and beside him allmight is vibrating with excitement
"he might actually do it!"
"who might do what"
allmight turns sheepishly to aizawa
"young midoriya on camera 6, he might just be the first quirkless student to pass the enterance exam to heroics straight up"
and aizawa can hardly watch anyone else for the rest of the exam, he adopts this kid on the fucking Spot
hes on the edge of his fucking seat, when nezu sends out the zero pointer. "this kid only needs 10 more points, just ten more" and izuku turns around to look at the 0 pointer and aizawa is like "fuck kid i hope you know what youre doing"
he manages to shove a piece of rebar into the treads, stoping it in its place. it tries to swat him like a bug but he just dives out of the way, picks up ochako and sprints and aizawa is like "holy shit holy shit these bastards better give this kid hero points for that"
like they are assigning final hero points and aizawa has to awkwardly put his hand up "i,,, should probably be excluded from giving midoriya hero points because i went from 0 to bias very very quickly"
allmight just nods sagely
"young midoriya be like that sometimes"
pls aizawa tries to act extra tough bc he can’t let anyone know he’s Adopted this child
for all izuku's brain hes useless w social stuff and thinks aizawa hates him but everyone else k n o w s
also izuku is the only person in 1A who knows ab aizawa's "quirk" and hes like, constantly vibrating w glee around the guy
aizawa walks in the first day, hears bakugo asking how this "quirkless bastard" got in, grabs bakugo w his scarf and yeets him into vlad’s room
"ok students, looks like we are a class of 19. any other comments before we start?"
and like everyone is so lost no one questions it
bakugo is screaming bloody murder until vlad "kindly" tells him ua has a strict no discrimination policy and aizawa would have been well within his rights to expel him
please nezu is like "uwu take one of 1B to make the classes even" and vlad is like "no ive already bonded tough cookies" vlad just adopts bakugo instantly
monoma and bakugou become bros, the baku-squad is 50% a thing, but its mostly 1B students but with pinning kiri. kendo and bakugo both keep monoma in line, monoma and kendo keep bakugo in line
during the sports festival shinsou is like "you must have a blessed quirk to get into the hero course"
and izuku just has this "really. this si what we're doing now" look on his face. hes just gesturing to shinso in exasperation, trying to make eye contact w aizawa hidden up in the commentary box
all you can hear from the box is aizawa quiet snickering as mic tries not to give the game away. he yeets shinso out of bonds and just hauls him back to his feet
"im quirkless you nonce"
"oh,,,"
"yeah, oh. what, gonna be embarrassed a quirkless kid kicked your ass?"
"nah i just feel bad for being a dick"
"ok you are the only valid person ive ever met, come meet my not-dad"
"wait what"
izuku fireman carries shinso into the announcers booth and just presents him to aizawa
you can just vaguely hear "no not kid" "but he'll be perfect" "kid this is live ask me after the festival" "but! hed be perfect! and you could train him to carry on your legacy of soul-crushing burns" "... hmmm"
"do i get a say in this?" "no" "nope"
mic just loudly saying "SO BEFORE WE WITNESS A CHILD CRY LIVE ON AIR AGAIN, AS ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THIS FESTIVAL, LETS START THE NEXT ROUND!"
there’s a counter “days since someone last cried: 0”
please its like "times cried durring all sports festivals" "average cry events" "number of times cried this festival"
aizawa being even more of a dad than canon, like hes a mess he sees on sad kid and he's like "wow that's my kid now"
he makes them soup when they get sick and leaves it outside their doors, refuses to admit its him doing it
soup cryptid
please mic is like 100% in love with him and had been for years but aizawa still has internal bias against the quirkless and thinks he's not good enough for mic so he cant make himself see the flirting for what it really is
“haha he’s just being friendlyL
“aizawa i literally want to marry u”
“awww ur so nice u mean as friends tho right?”
in this au ive decided that quirkless heroes are a thing, but pretty rare, in japan they are all underground bc villains go after them a l o t. there are some public ones in america but they tend to,,, die,,, pretty quickly
and bc there are some quirkless heroes everyone acts like discrimination isn't a thing anymore and quirkless people should shut up while quirkless people are still getting killed and committing suicide at like 500% the rate of people with quirks
also the suicide rate is,,,,, significantly higher in japan but no one ever talks abt it bc japan the “ideal place for people with quirks” so that surely means nothing could ever go wrong
izuku does the "its your power" speech in like 3 parts, before, during and after the sports festival bc he needs he bones w no quirk
stain asks izuku what his quirk is and izuku does the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy"
",,, where are your parents"
"one abandoned me straight up and the other is giving it a red hot go right now, try me coward"
izuku but everytime he roasts a villain he does it in vine quotes
tl;dr in the au inko is like,, not ok w izuku being a hero and she's trying to do the "leave the school or you can't live here any more" ultimatum and it's not working for her
bc izuku said "ok bye then" and now lives out of his backpack. no one knows. he just like,, sleeps on the train
and iida is like "owo could i come over to your house" and izuku is like
"aaaaa its on fire. yep. made of arsenic and always in flames, why dont we go to the park"
everyone in 1a is like betting on what his house is like. they harass katsuki in 1b but he refuses to talk
hes like "hell no i got thrown into another class for talking ab that nerd eat my left tit"
they only fucking work it out when aizawa and allmight go to izukus house to talk ab dorms and there is literally no one there
aizawa asks izuku ab it like "kid you need to update your forms with your current address" and hes like "oh worm, she moved? wack."
“u,,,,didn’t know,,,,”
“nah lmao i sleep on the bench in a park near here”
“my boy,,,,,l
"what, ochako lives alone!"
"yeah, in a fucking house, kid"
aizawas just: this is literal child abuse i’m ur guardian now
allmight "hes my kid too dont be greedy"
"fuck off all might you already have mirio" "and you already have shinsou!" nighteye, from around the corner "ill take him!" aizawa and allmight "NO"                                  
mic adopts him nezu just sitting in the distance "well, its my school. i get the kid" one whole school full of adult heroes "NO ITS MY SON,,," izukus like crying "wait,,, you guys aren't sick of me? wild" while sobbing
afo out of nowhere: i’ll take the child :))) everyone collectively: N O
for self-indulgence, izuku is the youngest in the class for this au so they all call him their little brother
consider: quirkless aizawa is very similar to normal aizawa but he does practise self-care, he just tries to make it look like he doesnt because hes like that
if i dont take care of myself ill never be able to stand up to the heroes w quirks but also do i deserve normal good human things
tl:dr: he can cook well and is trying to teach izuku that 2-minute noodles and apples arent hero fuel
inko is like: "uwu i wont change what i cook for you so you'll just have to make do owo" in like, a pathetic attempt to get him to stop training so izuku runs off protein bars, electrolyte drinks and raw vegetables
just like, his bento at school. its only raw mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes and 2 full carrots
the only time he gets like a kinda valid balanced meal for a hero in training is when he pops by bakugous place and mitsuki forces him to stay for lunch
izuku is like "oh hi bakugo i have ur book-" "HI ITS LUNCH GET IN PIPSQUEAK"
hes just thrown into a chair, bakugo isnt even confused. izuku is like ",,,, so vlad gave me your book bc your house is near mums." "fair enough. hope you like miso salmon"
izuku just looks stary eyed
"f i s h ??? warm food bakugo id kill for you"
"deku wtf"
"i had nothing but 3 scoops of protein powder and 2 tomatoes today"
“dEKU WHAT THE FUCK”
"i had to eat the protein podwer with plain water kacchan. protein sludge followed by two raw tomatoes. i would commit real actual murder for you"
mitsuki always packs an extra bento after that
so like when it’s dorm time izuku gets rly stressed out bc he doesn’t know how to cook for himself??? bakugous in the 1b dorms and even if he wasn’t he definitely wouldn’t cook for him
1a goes on a fucking shopping trip, chaperoned, obviously
and they’re lining up and aizawa sees that izukus cart is only filled with like??? instant noodles and like two (2) fruits and he’s losing his mind bc yes okay he’s a child but he’s also a young hero and he’s going to get a heart attack by 20 if he doesn’t fix his diet
aizawa is like "izuku, you cant eat that" and izuku just goes "oh ok" puts the noodles back and comes back with a tub of protein powder and like 11 vegetables and a bag of kale
okay this is an improvement kinda, how do u cook it
,,,,,c
cook?
izuku just has a totally blank face
"i was just gonna like,,, eat it"
"raw."
"uh, yeah, is that not how u eat vegetables?”
"thats a potato. and some leeks. thats a fucking onion"
"it wont kill me though"
"thats,,, that not how you pick food kid."
“but vegetable??? good????”
"kid do you even fucking like any of this"
"wait, im supposed to like?? my food???"
yagi in the fucking health food isle hearing this is 50% laughing but 50% crying
aizawa: “izuku ur supposed to eat a well balanced and tasty meal”
izuku: *surprized pikachu face*
please even todoroki is like ",,, at least fuyumi could c o o k"
oh god imagine having a worse diet than shouto todoroki from 1a who eats nothing but cold soba and drinks juice
also please aizawa is like "kid i thought you just happened to be thin but now im seeing thats not the case"
bakugo in the distance "like inko ever fed him enough anyway lmao"
aizawa "WAIT WHAT"
whys bakugou shopping with 1a? its actually all 40 of the first years just descending on this poor little store. it’s this little mom and pop grocery store and a billion hungry hero hopefuls just burst through the door like 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒏𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔
izuku is like "oh its too expensive" and aizawa is just holding a bag of rice, aizawa is like "its cheaper than the protein powder you have"
and izuku is like "yeah i mean its empty calories and im not paying that much for empty calories"
",,,"
"thats what you taught us sensei!"
"EMPTY CALORIES ARE ONLY A PROBLEM IF UR EATING TOO MUCH"
"and?"
"YOU HAVE 3 POTAOES FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS"
"i can put some back if you want?"
"THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DONT WANT"
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caws5749 · 5 years ago
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This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback
1: Name Madison
2: Age 21
3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents
4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies
5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me
6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things
7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea
8: sexual orientation lesbian
9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing
10: how tall am i 5’2
11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things
12: what time were i born 11:14am
13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink
14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot
15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”
16: favorite place Chicago or New York City
17: favorite food SALMON
18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to
19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify
20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves
21: shoe size 8 or 8.5
22: eye color blue
23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends
24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.
25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times
27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)
28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier
29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble
30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands
31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay
32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea
33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag
34: my relationship with my parents um yikes
35: favorite holiday Halloween
36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.
37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk
38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!
39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot
40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it
41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea
42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS
43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half
44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!
45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it
46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES
47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level
48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour
49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily
50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to
51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person
52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so
53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh
54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life
55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(
56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson
57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely
58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol
59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms
60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now
61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend
62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao
63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes
64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself
65: do i believe in luck yes
66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!
67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery
68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes
69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback
70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal
71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY
72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented
73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad
74: favorite animal cat
75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!
76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )
77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron
78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know
79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny
80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too
81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs
82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people
83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of
84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda
85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?
86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it
87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF
88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye
89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye
90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though
91: kissed a boy yes
92: kissed a girl yes
93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot
94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs
95: left the house without my wallet probably
96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche
97: had sex in public not yet
98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school
99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high
100: did drugs nope
101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha
102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too
103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!
104: been overweight no
105: been underweight yes
106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???
107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing
108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely
109: been outside my home country yeah
110: gotten my heart broken yeah
111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food
112: broken a bone nope!
113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.
114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!
115: been in airplane too many times
116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not
117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember
118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay
119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!
120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural
121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no
122: had oral sex yeah
123: dyed my hair many times
124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.
125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.
126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.
127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.
128: stalked someone on a social network yeah
129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to
130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing
131: helped w charity i have!
132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected
133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually
134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday
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serraphima · 5 years ago
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All the abc OC questions for Erin!
aaaaaaaaaaaaa ty mara, imma put it under a read more so there isnt a huge thing to scroll through
A1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young? shes a pyromancer and a dumbass2. what activities have they participated in? uh they were in robotics club in college3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for? (no clue what that means) but she keeps her friend aria alive with the augments she makes4. what things are they bad at? talking to cute girls, being a person5. what is their most impressive talent? she can dislocate her shoulder on command
B1. what is their hair color? red2. what is their eye color? green3. how tall are they? like 5′44. how old are they? 32 i think?5. how much do they weigh? 160
C1. how do they sit in a chair? the wrong way all the time2. in what position do they sleep? curled up in a ball3. what is their ideal comfort day? chilling out with her partners4. what is their major comfort food? why? anything with a strong lemon taste that isnt a lemon5. who is the best at comforting them when down? her partners
D1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name? she cant decorate worth a damn2. how would they decorate their child’s room? she wouldnt have any kids tbh3. how do they decorate their own room? posters everywhere, failed experiments and other stuff strewn about with clothes4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear? she likes tight pants, crop tops, and a denim vest with boots on warm days, on cold days she wears skirts, tights, long sleeve tops and flannel with a denim vest5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends? she likes them in theory, not in practice since shes terrible with doing makeup
E1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality? kinda? like shes outgoing sometimes but shes also likes being alone, it depends on whos shes with2. do they do things that conform to the norm? only norm she conforms with is being gay3. do they follow trends or do their own thing? she does her own thing sometimes, follows trends other times4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads? she tries to keep up but hardly can5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own? she portrays herself as she is (ie a sarcastic bitch with a dry wit)
F1. what do they do for fun? set fire to things2. what is their ideal party? not a party person3. who would they have the most fun with? she loves being with her partners and has the most fun with them4. can they have fun while conforming to rules? she could if she was boring5. do they go out a lot? she doesnt really go out on her own a lot
G1. what is their most attractive external feature? shes happy with how her thighs and ass are so she loves showing them off as much as she can2. what is the most attractive part of their personality? shes extremely caring but doesnt like to show it to everyone3. what benefits come with being their friend? being a human test subject, you get to learn how to do fighting games, and seeing her in default state (which is only a bra and underwear)4. what parts of them do they like and dislike? she likes her thighs and ass, hates having her cock5. what parts of others do they envy? she envies that faith has a vagina and cant wait to get her own
H1. do they rather a hot or cold room? she likes a hot place, she cant function in the cold2. do they prefer summer or winter? she loves summer3. do they like the snow? she likes melting snow with fireballs but besides that she hates snow4. do they have a favorite summer activity? she likes going to concerts in the summer5. do they have a favorite winter activity? stay indoors with her partners and watch scary movies
I1. what is their sexuality? shes homoromantic bisexual2. have they ever questioned their sexuality? oh the entirety of her high school life3. have they ever questioned their gender? kinda, shes trans and had some trouble realizing that but shes happy now4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT? they arent5. how long would/did it take for them to come out? her parents dont know a lot of whats going on with her after her second stay in the psych ward when she came out to them, but her friends knew the second erin knew
J1. what makes them happy? making her partners happy2. who makes them happy? her partners3. are there any songs that bring them joy? anytime her favorite band releases a new song4. are they happy often? somewhat5. what brings them the most joy in the world? being with her partners and helping aria not be close to death
K1. have they ever thought about suicide? yeah2. have they ever thought about homicide? thought about doing it outright? no, but some of the test subjects she finds dont live through everything3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who? her parents4. who would miss them if they died? her partners5. who would be happy they died, anyone? probably her parents
L1. what is their favorite fruit? apple slices2. what is their least favorite fruit? whole apples3. are there any foods they hate? spicy foods4. do they have any food intolerances? she cant handle spicy stuff5. what is their favorite food? chicken picatta
M1. would they want a daughter or a son? probably a daughter2. how many children do they want? ideally none3. would they be a good parent? shes constantly worried shell end up like her parents4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter? son would be named azarel, daughter would be named valeria5. would they adopt? probably
N1. what would they never do? hard drugs and be in a gangbang2. what have they never done that they want to do? be in a gangbang3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do? have a good relationship with their parents4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done? thought she was a straight guy5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do? successfully keep someone alive
O1. are they optimistic or pessimistic? she finds both to be annoying and doesnt like answering that question (shes more pessimistic than optimistic)2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others? no3. are they good at giving advice? not in the slightest4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them? probably bel5. were they always optimistic? nope
P1. what is their best personality trait? her quick wit2. what is their worst personality trait? her inability to read emotions3. what of their personality do others love? her caring nature4. what of their personality do others envy? her scathing remarks when other people are dumb near her5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities? she hates she cant read emotion that well and hates overly chipper people
Q1. do they ask for help? nope2. do they ask questions in class? and look like a nerd? fuck that3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable? she tries to4. do they ask weird questions? more often than not5. are they curious? yes
R1. do they follow rules? theyre more guidelines and guidelines are more lenient to following than rules are (doesnt really follow the rules)2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent? shed be a bad parent3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule? many times4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking? nope5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous? she find a lot of rules pointless
S1. are they street-smart?  not really2. would they give money to someone on the streets? yes she does that a lot3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets? many times4. has anything happened to them on the streets? she beat up people sexually harassing her5. are they cautious when out? she carries a pistol and a knife everywhere
T1. are they honest? she tries to be2. can they tell if someone is lying? not well3. is it obvious when they’re lying? if you know her yes, if you dont its hard4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about? nope5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will? kinda?
U1. have they been bullied? yes2. have they bullied anyone? also yes3. have they been physically attacked by a bully? no4. have they ever been doubted? not as often as she believes5. have they surprised people with being good at something? people who dont pay attention to her a lot so she constantly surprises them when they start to pay attention to her
V1. do they vomit often? she hasnt puked since she was a baby and shes proud of that2. do they get lots of stomach aches? yes3. are they good at comforting someone ill? no4. what do they like as far as comfort goes? being warm and cozy5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting? she hiccups a lot when shes nauseous
W1. do they drink enough water? she doesnt like water, it feels weird in her mouth2. have they learned to swim? yes3. do they like to swim? a bit4. can they dive? no5. can they swim without holding their nose? yes
X1. what is their favorite genre of music? lot of good bass and drum lines, hard guitar riffs2. do they have a favorite song? anything her favorite band puts out3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer? yeah but good luck getting her to tell you (babymetal)4. can they sing well? a bit5. can they rap? nope
Y1. how old were you when you created them? i think like 19 or 202. what inspired you to create them? i kinda figured out i was trans and wanted a character like me but that was a girl (so i project onto her a lot)3. were they different when they were first created? she started out as a destiny oc, she was my warlock4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters? i cant say tbh5. what’s your favorite thing about them? shes a lot like me
Z1. what’s their favorite animal? cats2. do they like animals? she likes cats3. cats or dogs? cats4. what’s their dream pet? like a big cat but housecat sized5. do they have any pets at the moment? nope
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ahmuteun · 6 years ago
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All :)
welp, my computer decided to crap out on me while i was working on this last night so i get to restart it o yay :-)
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
according to my itunes library, four of the songs are songs my friend wrote and the other two are hyorin and kisum’s fruity and john mayer’s new light and i fucking love that song
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
idk someone who can pay off my debt and tuition lmao
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
i’m too lazy to get up im sorry lol
4: What do you think about most?
it depends, currently its probably me ripping off the band aid and what the fall out for that is gonna be like 
also boys are stupid
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
“oh right LOL ya i got it hehe”
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
with, but i never sleep with pants on
7: What’s your strangest talent?
uummmm i can stand on my toes, does that count?
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
girls, yes lol
boys, are fucking dumb 
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
not to my knowledge 
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
idk i dont do it a lot if ever
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
no not really i think
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
when i was a kid i did lmao
13: What’s your religion?
christianity 
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
walking to/ from campus or downtown
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
it depends on the situation and how i look lol
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
idk probably shinee cause theyve been my favorite for a while but im not sure anymore
17: What was the last lie you told?
“my bus was late” lol
18: Do you believe in karma?
to some extent i do 
19: What does your URL mean?
it’s dumb and i need to change it but idk what i would change it to
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
im trying to think of these through jen’s perspective because she’s one of the people who knows me best 
weakness: caring/ doing things for others even if it’s at my own expense. but i have so many weaknesses it’s so hard to just choose one
strength: probably that i care about people lmao it’s a double edged sword
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
idk i dont really have one
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
yeah, regrettably 
23: How do you vent your anger?
by ranting with my mates and possibly getting drunk LOL
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
nah
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
it depends on who i’m talking to but if it’s someone im comfortable with/ i look decent i’ll video chat but i dont really mind either 
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
umm i mean for the most part i guess im okay
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
hate: metal scraping against metal
love: the sound of my mates’ laughter
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
currently it’s “what if ripping off the band aid goes horribly wrong??” aaaaahhhhhhh fuck
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
yes and yes
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
nothing for both
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
nothing 
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
the under 21 club we went to during senior week comes to mind
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
i love both but i’ll say east because i’ve been more shaped by the east
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
idk man, gd?? 
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
i dont fuckin know man 
36: Define Art.
idk look it up on google
37: Do you believe in luck?
eeehhhh to some extent i guess so 
38: What’s the weather like right now?
hot, humid, and rainy
39: What time is it?
3:11pm
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
yes and i’ve only ever been in fender benders so nah
41: What was the last book you read?
the simpsons and their mathematical secrets lol
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
no gross
43: Do you have any nicknames?
way too many lmao
44: What was the last film you saw?
that isnt a tv show? the scooby doo movie lmao 
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
spraining my foot or cracking my head open lol
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
maybe when i was younger
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
BROOKLYN 99 I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
bi wooo
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
probably
50: Do you believe in magic?
no
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
uuhhh no not really 
52: What is your astrological sign?
gemini
53: Do you save money or spend it?
i want to save it but ive been spending way too much lately, help
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
ummmm pho i think? wait no it was boba
55: Love or lust?
lust lol 
56: In a relationship?
naahhh
57: How many relationships have you had?
eehhh none
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
nope
59: Where were you yesterday?
work and my apartment lol
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
yep 
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
yep
62: What’s your favourite animal?
my doggie
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
i dont have one lmao
64: Where is your best friend?
one is back home in maryland and the other is visiting family in california
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
idk i dont have any
66: What is your heritage?
korean
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
trying to fall asleep and failing
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
i dont think he has one
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
everyone has
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
idk i hate myself too much to not say no lmao
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
if my boss doesnt understand that i was saving a dogs life then i dont want to work for them
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a) i tell the people i love and care about and let everyone else find out by word of mouth 
b) i dunno, spend time with the people i love and care about and give them lots of good memories to remember me by
c) yes but who wouldnt be?
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
trust because i dont believe that you can have love, platonic or not, without trust 
or maybe thats just my trust issues talking idk lmao
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
idk but if im in a shit mood no song can change that 
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
no thanks
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
idk im the worst person to ask 
77: How can I win your heart?
my heart is unattainable because it doesnt exist lol
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
i mean sure i guess?? 
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
probably choosing my uni because i’ve made such amazing friends and met people who have impacted who i am as a person way more than i could ever imagine and im just so happy right now 
80: What size shoes do you wear?
6.5 heels but 7 for everything else
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
idk man 
82: What is your favourite word?
i dont have one 
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
my friend’s tattoos of hearts on her arm, they look so cool and i love them
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
“let me live” “i hate you” “mate” idk theres a lot
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
truth is by jay park
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
blue, yellow, and green
87: What is your current desktop picture?
Tumblr media
it’s so cute i love it 
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
no one cause im not that mean 
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
who i’ve been with and crap like that 
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
it would probably scare me and i would leave 
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
super speed probably, you could do so much plus i would never be late to anything again AND i would be doing cardio, win win
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
i dont think i would ever want to do that so i’ll pass
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
i wouldnt because every experience has helped shaped me into who i am today 
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
oh man i would have to think about this cause i dont have a person off the top of my head that comes to mind 
bm from kard maybe?? idfk 
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
korea or japan 
or maybe australia
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
not to my knowledge 
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
yep :-) whoops
i mean it was in a trashcan and i was trashed so
98: Ever been on a plane?
yep
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
pls venmo me cause im broke :D
thanks for asking!
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100-becs · 4 years ago
Text
A Suffocated Soul
TW//Transphobia, homophobic and transphobic slurs, mentions of gore, and mentions of sxxcxde
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Who am I?
I’m an 18 year old disgrace to my family who sees her bearded face as an ailment, who's deep voice, a bass, makes me wish words would fail me, a spiraling mess who's fake masculinity trails me. A girl with a liar's face. A girl who's failing. But still I tire, inside me’s a fire with dwindling kindling, running down to the wire. A soul suffocated and strangled whose saving face is a shell of former self, self hatred shooting through her, forever forced to fester in her failings, sequestered into an inescapable quagmire.
And I said nothing when you told me that my body is not my choice
When I’ve found a way, my voice, my song, it brings me euphoria until you come along, lecturing me that how I'm living is wrong, and how being myself would make me not belong. Relentless ridicule of how my hair is too long, that there’s no going back if I alter my bod. That I can’t be a girl, I watch football all day long. It takes me everything not to pack up and say “so long”. Saying it’ll be my fault if someone kills me, it kills me. Of living, I’m not worthy, as I’m too far along a man to be girly. Oh, gosh, I’m getting wordy. I didn’t realize myself early. The downward spiral into nothingness around me is swirling, as I try to clean up my mess you made for me. Can’t you see I’m distressed? I’m worth less than worthless. Holy fuck, give me a rest. If a rest is too much leniency, go ahead and arrest me. It's torture to continue when my own mother detests me
I said nothing when you went on your tirades against who I am
I’m a girl who can’t cry, though I’m red in the eye. Knuckles bloodied with mirror shards surrounding her. In each is a reflection of a monster. A man who did others wrong and strung people along for his own amusement. Seeping out my hand is where everything I had to prove went. I need to vent. I’m fucking spent. I broke when others bent. Off the ledge, my sanity was sent, the life I’ve dreamt was met with dissent, but though inside, 100 times i’ve wept, I still can’t cry. And despite my eyes and thighs being red with this dye, I lie and say i’m fine. You tell me I'm wired, but my wires are fried and my identity you’ve vilified, and deep inside, I want to die. There's not a day that goes by where I dont think "maybe if I just try, I can act like everything's okay as a guy and i wont have to live with being the type of person you told me you loved but really you're ashamed of."
I said nothing when you told me I’m a man
I’m the antithesis of normality. Fuck the formalities. Send me to my grave at the edge of reality, for the way I exist, you tell me it’s confounding. You feed me to wolves who are hungry and growling. I raise my bloodied fists to fight back, but they all overpower me. The turmoil I face is what has the wolves howling. A little girl whose cries will never come out of me. A little girl named Jocelyn. The name that should never be uttered around you. What you call a trend is why my head's always pounding. The struggle I face every day is astounding. And it stacks up and stacks up and it all amounts to me running numbers through my head, 41 percent. I dont care what you meant because it's the message you sent that I am not welcome in this world being who I am, lest I be happy in my body that others may dissent, and that if my vessel meets an untimely end, the fault is on me, not how wrong society went
I said nothing when you told me it would be on me if someone kills me for wearing a dress
"It's just a trend. I thought I was a lesbian when i was a teenager" is the mantra you constantly use to defend your position. The trans people you mention, you say just want attention, and list ways they're not menschen, in hopes that I stop pretending. I'm not pretending! Apprehending my emotions flowing like the tides of the ocean makes me feel atrocious. The pain that shoots through my skin, skin that imprisons my livelihood within, within my self is a soul begging to be let out, out of my mouth shoots "Why can't I just be fucking normal?!" with my deep voice killing me, "methinks the trxnny doth protest too much" is the response I receive, leaves who I am to die in the darkness, darkness forever blotting out the sun. I'm not your son! I'd gladly run from this thing that I was, reach for my heart instead of a gun that threatens to send this whole operation asunder, and become a being worthy of love and of wonder, not for fun or because I've grown dumber, but because I would never willingly take the brunt of the hell that I live through daily to taste the unimportant heaven of a shred of attention. 
I said nothing when you told me I was following trends
You paint me as a terrible liar, but I was able to convince you that I was a man. I played along with my assigned gender roles when you watched over me, clueless of 10 year old me's crying sleepless nights, or 13 year old me's internal fights, how everything was eating away at me like termites. I know my rights and your words aren't right. I constantly escape to digital landscapes because however it infuriates me wont be a scrape against who I am, and will not cripple my mental state. 
I said nothing when you told me to change my preferred name everywhere.
The 19 years i've spent on this earth, what were they worth? From my birth to the present day, I've pissed my entire life away because I allowed my mother to convince me that she knows more about me than I do about me. That there was no overcoming my greatest obstacle because she birthed me. You've stripped my individuality away from me as if I had just given it away to you. You fed me ideas that I thought nothing of because I focused too hard on the fact that the figure that's supposed to be a universal security blanket won't accept me. And those ideas you spoon-fed to me was the waste of self-doubt I couldn't flush out. My bloody knuckles and shattered mirrors are products of your rhetoric. And as I ball my fist up one last time, bawling my eyes out on the inside, ready to smash the final pane, just end the pain as I go insane…
Why cant I do it?…
My reflection smiles back and shows affection. A disheveled, bloody, broken complexion, but oddly beautiful, a captivating introspection. Completely removed from your hateful gobbledygook, I rub my eyes to take a second look. She's smiling, like she can read me like a book. My ethereal self is happy, while I'm sitting here, still shook. A queer, trans, lesbian mess, but purely my mess. none caused by outside distress, a girl who is always her best and strives for nothing less, Jocelyn. October 9th, 2018 was the first time I saw this wonder, and she helped me see the meaning in my night-long internal plights, my shattered psyche from fights, blights I've brought on my body that brought me ungodly dysphoria and triggered upon me out of body memories because the last body I would possibly want for me is that of a man. She makes me look back on my past and revere it. Im smiling ear to ear because I know although I may fear and people may leer, as long as I'm here, I know I'm queer, I'm here, I'm queer, I'm here, I'm her.
I said nothing when you threatened to send me to a psych ward.
Coming to terms with toxicity can be a tumultuous task that tries to turn you against those you think you love. But that isnt the case here. I know you hate me, but love the boy you think I am. And any attempt I make to let Jocelyn make my life any amount more manageable is met with fury, the situation gets blurry, I constantly worry, like im being buried alive. I strive to be able to survive and thrive because you taught me that I shouldn't let anyone get in the way of me living my life. Please take this knife away from my sight as I contemplate this strife. My existence does not make things worsen, I am my own person!
I said nothing when you lied to me about your care for the LGBTQ+ community
The toxicity of your words only runs skin deep. But this toxic testosterone that courses through my every capillary and produced by my bones makes me scream bloody mary. My hearing is plagued with "fxggot", "trxp", and "trxnny", and if I outwardly say "Hi, I'm transgender", the further attacks on me would be many. But their blaring cacophony is nothing comparing to my body changing to be something that pains me. Waking up to being physically male is just a constant reminder of someone I'm not, an unsettling notification of times best forgot, and of a person who's better off being left to rot. I've screamed, I've shouted, I've sulked, and I've fought. Every day in this body is another day lost, never to be found until I end up deceased on the ground, iced over with the frost, or until this testosterone is replaced with estrogen. Estrogen, the chemical that will make me detest my body much less, make me my best self, but without it i don't know how long until im laid to rest.
Beneath me are the eggshells I've broken because you told me to walk on them. You signed and sealed my name in blood as the son you always loved. I am no husband, brother, father, son. I sold my individuality for safety untold, but as i grew older, the world around me grew colder, the pain inside I couldn't shoulder. My response was to be bolder, but at some point I just rolled over wishing everything would be over because the people i expected to fight alongside me shoved a dagger in my back because I dared to be too authentic to conform to who you thought I was, leaving me to die on the battlefield against my own dysphoria, signing and sealing my deadname in blood, Josh. But as my body grows cold as the blood will roll down my gouged armes from the broken mirrors and the dagger you shoved in my back as a hold. I take hold of the dagger and rip it out of my spine, I won't go down this time. Though it wont all be fine I will continue my climb. I'll push on through the muck and the grime. I'll rise to the top to give my eyes a sight to behold. You say I've lost my mind, I've just gained control. No, today will not be the day that I fold, I'll make sure my story will not go untold, I refuse to be melted and put into a mold, and I can do it all if I could just be bold!
I wont stay silent anymore.
Who am I?
I'm Jocelyn
Perfectly imperfect
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rogue-rook · 7 years ago
Text
many many highlights from The Crystal Kingdom from a first-time TAZ listener
featuring some bits from the Lunar Interlude II: Internal Affairs
travis: “it was streaming on witch. that’s like magical twitch!”
SWEET ANGO HAS RETURNED!
i cannot believe griffin went to the EFFORT of making a fantasy costco jingle
the lockpicking garden gnome called the Nitpicker that insults the damn party is a beyond brilliant object for sale at the fantasy costco
I really want to lodge a complaint with the HR department of the bureau of balance on sweet angus macdonald’s behalf bc these grown men are FULL ON BULLYING THIS TEN YEAR OLD BOY GENIUS
so is this new shitty scientist consultant lucas a bigger annoyance than shitty train butler wizard jenkins or does jenkins still retain that title
travis: "anything this touches turns to crystal?" griffin: "yeah, pink tourmaline" travis: "yeah, I'm not gonna say that, because I'm an adult"
CAREY FANGBATTLE is like on par with Jess the Beheader in terms of Cool Names
griffin: “so the three of you are currently sitting in a gondola, which is another word for a little boat” travis, singing: “the more you knoooowww”
“so it’s made of crystal, right?” “yes, everything is crystal” x1000000
the crystal kingdom song is beautiful
griffin: “you see a sign that says The Magical World Of Elevators” justin: “griffin's really stickin it to the people who say he's not allowed to have elevators in this game”
today in failed brand marketing: “Upsy, your lifting friend”
this arc is ACTUALLY set up like a video game level puzzle, when griffin says “ah, you’ve solved my crystal puzzle” it will actually apply
clint: “I rolled a 4 but I get another roll...a 5″ travis: “wow, you're really bad at dnd”
merle: “I'm gonna use Banishment on the cockroach” griffin: “okay, you're just gonna yell GET OUT OF HERE COCKROACH, I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE”
magnus is being fucking mean to lucas, the genius inventor, and he’s been a TOTAL DICK to sweet boy genius detective angus macdonald, and i feel like pointing out that he was WAYYY nicer to shitty evil wizard train butler jenkins who beheaded a guy with a teleportation door
griffin: “one of the signs is labeled Radiation Ventilation Maintenance Chamber, and the other is labeled Lil Genius BuddyBot R&D" travis: "I feel like this is a trick” clint: “I feel like griffin has been playing Fallout”
I LOVE HODGE PODGE THE LIL GENIUS BUDDYBOT!!! EVEN IF HE TURNS OUT TO BE EVIL, THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE MADE ME LOVE HIM PRETTY INSTANTLY AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT
hodge podge: “magnus! merle! take-o” goddamnit griffin
justin: “can we just put the stone of far speech in front of the robit and griffin, you can just talk to yourself?”
hodge podge is exactly the kind of unsettling demon robit with a mostly-adorable voice, except for when he goes demon-y, that I expected from griffy
justin: “my character taako has innate skills in: investigation, nature, history, religion, arcana, and religion” so is he double good at religion then
taako: “okay, I got a question for you: who....do we work for?”
lucas: “hey, are you just mean to everyone?” THANK GOD SOMEONE VOICED THIS LEGITIMATE FUCKING CONCERN, THE GRUBBY GRIFTERS ARE MONSTERS
clint: “I look up what scrumbled means” griffin: “justin said that in a Monster Factory once and I’ve been using it like it’s a real word” justin: “I am the lewis carroll of my generation”
noel the friendly medic robit’s voice started at vaguely-angus like and then became straight up country southern and i really hope somebody calls griffin on it
i really think griffin introduced the nitpicker so he could have a way of introducing his own critiques of his dad and brothers’ dnd skills
the little compact mirror has some shit in it that i think must be important
there’s a rift in space and time and pink tourmaline is coming out of it and the damn song is super ominous and making me MEGA NERVOUS and honestly i don’t know what the flying goddamn fuck is happening but i am SO INTO IT
lucas: “you’re just yelling hugbears at me” magnus: “BUG! HEARS!” “what” “what”
so is lucas just like holding these poor bugbears in fucking slavery
the grubby grifters discover the tourmalined body of boyland and magnus asked if he can DESECRATE THE GODDAMN BODY OF HIS TRAGICALLY DECEASED COWORKER
griffin: “these two figures are just taking these ice robits to Fool School”
awww they’re gonna fight one of my favorite little creepy crawlies! human sized tardigrades that will absolutely fuck their shit up!!! so cute
griffin: “you’re so loosey-goosey with your possessions! ‘hi scuddle-buddy! bye scuddle-buddy! go get on that train to hell!’”
clint/merle’s immediate panic when they decide the only option here is to CHOP HIS GODDAMN ARM OFF
killian, after picking lucas up: “THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST SHITTIEST DAY EVER, WE ARE TWO PEOPLE DOWN, YOUR LAB SUCKS!!” #relatable, I feel u killian
during this arc the mcelboys keep talking about how they don’t remember shit from the beginning of the show bc that was two years ago and im like what? what? that was three days ago, friends!! its bc ive binged this shit in under a WEEK
merle basically has a plant fetish okay, that’s the only reason this soul-wood shit worked
griffin: “it actually curls up and gives you a thumbs up as if to say 'hey! I'm your arm now!’”
so like this planar system shit is probably important, right
this parseltongue motherfucker that’s like fucking haunting the grubby grifters needs to start explaining what their whole, like, DEAL is
this Red Robe dude is having a FREAKOUT over the damn umbrella and im like mmmmm maybe taako shouldn’t have just taken the damn umbrella, no questions asked
killian’s scanner is having a major freakout over a lich being present and im like, yeah, its the fucking umbrella, yall
oh, real quick, the mcelboys gotta pause the action to whine at each other about character voices
killian: “I am going to ABSOLUTELY murder that man” yeah, killian remains the most goddamn relatable npc in this fucking world
i sure hope The Adventure Zone Zone doesn’t have any super important info in it, bc im not gonna listen to the mcelboys talk about the maxfun drive from two fucking years ago
the crystal golem just called the grubby grifters bounties, and said it was time for noelle the friendly medic robit and the grubby grifters to all go back to the astral plane and im like WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? GRIFFIN! WHAT?
OH FUCK ITS BEEN KRAVITZ THIS WHOLE GODDAMN TIME!!!!! KRAVITZ!!!!!
griffin: “a D6 is like a dice-ass-dice! that's like some monopoly shit!!”
kravitz: “i don’t even know how that even worked, like with physics”
taako: “luke! use the fork!” merle: “the fork will be with you, always”
magnus: “I want to roll an investigation check on noelle...I rolled a 2″ griffin: “okay well you know noelle is a robot”
YALL!! SHITTY TRAIN BUTLER WIZARD JENKINS AND MAGIC BRIAN THE GERMAN MORON BOTH CAME BACK!!
magic brian the german dumbass: “i had an invitation to my wedding for you, and instead of RSVP-ing, you murdered me!”
travis: “when you say they evaporate, do they go back to heaven or hell or the after plane, or whatever, or are they GONE?” griffin: “it kinda seems like you obliterated their soul. kinda seems like you just kinda ERASED them” travis: “you know, at the end of day, I punch people, but dad unmakes their existence, who's the real monster?”
the fact that noelle died in phandolin when the grubby grifters and gundren rockseeker turned the whole town to glass is so goddamn fucking tragic, THANKS GRIFFIN!!!!
lucas miller: yet more proof that dickin around with science and magic and mad scientist shit is always gonna end badly for everyone
kravitz: “taako, you’ve died eight times”...[...]..”magnus, you’ve died 19 times”...[...]...”merle highchurch, the richest bounty i have ever hunted, you have died 57 times” WHAT?? WHAT? WHAT???? WHAT???? GRIFFIN!!??? WHAT????
THIS STORYLINE IS LIT
griffin: “a legion of ghosts” justin: “great”
i think both griffin and I have forgotten that carey fangbattle and killian are in this scene. also merle has had a soul-bond wood arm this whole time
the grubby grifters beat a goddamn LEGION of ghost robits, or ghrobits, and then kravitz slides back into the scene all like “uh, hey, assholes, thanks for saving me, I’ll make up some legal loophole bullshit to thank you” that’s not a direct quote, that’s me editorializing. i fucking love kravitz
taako: "they found new bodies, just because they're mechanical doesn't mean the life is any less valid - battlestar galactica"
oh fuck magnus got a cheating deck of cards in like episode goddamn THREE and he just whips em out in episode fucking 39 against kravitz
kravitz, massively misunderstanding the assholes he’s talking to: “the rules of nature are there for a reason, so lets just stop running afoul of them, as if this all just funsy-fun make-believe!”
magnus: “kravitz! tell julia I love her” TRAVIS!!!! TRAVIS MCELROY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO MY HEART!!!
lucas: “you'll never see me again, but if you do, i'll be doing good, and please don't kill me instantly”
justin: “i give angus a thumbs down” motherfuckers
killian: “hell yes! I love this plan! me and carey, and a robot ghost with a gun arm! sounds like a plan!” magnus: “sounds like a spinoff!” killian: “that’s sounds like some torchwood shit!”
davenport the goddamn pokemon
on one hand, I’m really goddamn suspicious that the director isn’t actually destroying the relics but is collecting them for her own gain. but on the other hand, if this turns out to not be true, I will feel bad for suspecting her so hard
taako: “director, here’s the truth. what did you have for lunch on Dec 3 2015? you don’t remember right? that’s when you told us not to talk to the Red Robes. what’s I’m saying is WE FORGOT!”
YOOO THIS EPILOGUE PROPHECY IS SOOOOOOO COOOOOL GRIFFIN!!! WHAT IS THIS!!!! ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!
this was a wild wild wild wild ride and whatever griffin is doing with this story is LIT
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chikkou · 7 years ago
Note
Imma just need you to answer every one of those OC questions. I thirst for more information.
STOP this is so sweet omg…ive answered some already but ill definitely answer the ones i havent for u! 
this is super long by the way so for yalls sake im putting it under a cut lmao
1. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a ��sunshine”? 
i think id definitely say amara and jeanne fit this description a lot. jeannes favorite color is even bright yellow, like the sun! 
12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot
i LOVE @elliexer‘s ocs… like all of them. every single one. theyre amazing
14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory 
ill talk abt dominiques! basically, in my story she becomes queen at age 20 after her own parents (the previous monarchs) died tragically. she married her then-boyfriend, marius, and he became king. in their universe, the king and queen rule jointly, and one can override the others actions, etc etc.
she was really in love with him at first, and she did her best to be a just monarch, but power corrupts and marius, whose family were nobles always aching for more, became more and more evil the longer he ruled the kingdom. it got to the point that he was killing innocents based on his whims, like just because he felt like it. dominique had loved him, but after seeing what he became, she knew what she had to do, and had him assassinated. 
on top of that, she had been sick for many years and was dying of her illness, she had no family left, and none of her children were interested in ascending the throne. she had to give her entire familys lineage away to her closest lady-in-waiting (actually annaliese) because of her husbands evil ways. and thats ALL JUST THE BACKSTORY… not even starting with what happened to her in-story lmao
15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?
yes omg i fucken love it… i get worried when i do tho cause i feel like i talk too much lmao 
16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? 
annaliese definitely, and probably mathilde as well! also dolores because thats literally her job (shes a doctor)
18. Any OC crackships? 
i think takako x aurelie would be cute!
19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)
all of my ocs mean the world to me, but i gotta give special mention to annaliese and marianne! i first created them when i was figuring out my sexuality, and initially they were just the queen and her lady-in-waiting. around the time that i was starting to embrace my gayness, i made the switch from that to them having been good friends (but still the queen and her lady-in-waiting), and finally i changed it from that to them being joint rulers together and also married and in love. thats definitely the first time i began to accept that gayness was ok and good! 
20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?
i like to think that all of my ocs sing! itd take so long to go into the details of it LMAO but i definitely imagine different voices and musical styles for each!
22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? 
not to my knowledge :o 
23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?
most of them! i think, of all of my ocs, annaliese has changed the most. initially, she was supposed to be a cruel tyrant that, at the end of her story, was going to be deposed and possibly killed. she was also russian i think LMAO… and she had the throne by birthright
in the current story, annaliese is queen not by birthright, but by choice. in her story, she was initially a servant in the castle of the queen and king (dominique and marius), and worked her way up the ranks to being dominiques closest confidant. after a long time, dominique, who was dying, sent annaliese to kill the king, and, because the princesses were not interested in ruling, she was given the crown as payment.
while annaliese does still have a bit of that “iron-fist ruler” type thing, its not NEARLY as bad as it was, and shes certainly not a cruel tyrant anymore. shes also not russian now, shes french
24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?
i think i would meet elyse! shes cool and can do magic
25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)
amara for sure. the only real difference between me and her is that she has violet eyes, which i decidedly dont lmao
26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? 
not to my knowledge!
27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? 
annaliese was inspired by dont mess with me by temposhark, and i DONT wanna hear ur judgment.
28. Your most dangerous OC? 
probably elyse… shes a wild card!
29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?
definitely jeanne, probably elyse30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? 
jeanne, dolores, ophelie, and aurelie!
31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)
i think takako would have a really minimalist blog, like, just a black and white transparent theme, and she’d only reblog aesthetic pics
33. Your shyest OC?
i think that would be ophelie… shes VERY quiet and nervous a lot, but shes really nice!
34. Do you have any twin characters?
yes!! i actually had a bunch of twin ocs back in the day, but the only ones i still actually use are mathilde and aurelie! theyre identical twins and are the children of dominique and marius, which makes them the princesses!
35. Any sibling characters? 
yes! mathilde and aurelie, of course, and marianne and jeanne! 
36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? 
as in, i have an oc in a relationship with someone elses oc? if so, sort of! @agithahime and i used to be really into rvb, and so we made rvb ocs that did everything together lmao. their names are charlotte (hers) and marceline (mine) !
37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human 
definitely the goddess of night, who is more like the physical embodiment of night. she actually doesnt exist on this plane, but whenever she does arrive on earth, the night follows her wherever she goes. she looks roughly like this (also designed in rinmarus dollmaker!): 
Tumblr media
38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? 
i think marianne and aurelie would be really elegant dancers!
39. Introduce any character you want 
Tumblr media
this is mathilde! she is one of the princesses in annalieses story. shes a really sweet girl, and very beautiful, but also very shy. shes also trans! and she decides against taking the throne because, apart from having no interest in ruling, she wants to travel the world and find her calling. shes a very intelligent girl and i love her
(also designed in rinmarus dollmaker btw!) 
40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!
honestly i just get so happy writing their stories… it feels good knowing their tales are being told! 
41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)
not to my knowledge, but id be SO HAPPY if someone drew one of my ocs… id honestly sob my eyes out LMAO
42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? 
elyse!! she LOVES greek mythology, but like. to an unhealthy degree almost. aurelie also really enjoys greek myth! 
43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess
i always give my ocs wavy or curly hair, without fail. the only time i ever give an oc perfectly straight hair is if their hair is short, because then straight hair looks cool LMAO
44. Something you like about your OCs in general
theyre always really creative and intelligent! 
45. A character you no longer use?
i have SO MANY characters i dont use lmao… a lot of them were either ocs for a work that im not interested in anymore, or their stories just made no sense. of all my ocs that i dont use, my favorites are definitely the two twins! their names are momo and naruka
in their story, momo was shot and killed, but because they had been switching clothes that day, everyone thought it was naruka who had died and naruka decided to keep the charade up, too scared to tell anyone the truth. its really fucked but anyway! heres a picture i drew of them, but never finished:
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46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?
thankfully no lmao… i love my ocs!
47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? 
im sure sam has a few times LMAO
48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure
definitely jeanne. she is a ray of sunshine and i love her
49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes
ABSOLUTELY JEANNE LMAO… also i think probably aurelie too 
50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want
of all my ocs, only one thus far is straight (marius) - the rest are all same-gender attracted in some way!
as for gender, thus far 4 of them are trans, but i definitely plan on looking at some characters again and maybe changing that :^) if ur wondering, the trans characters are elyse (agender), mathilde, dolores, and ophelie (trans women) !
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lifeblossom-remaking · 8 years ago
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gimme all the qs for ass
alright lessee - unfortunately i cant make all the answers public for fear of spoiling our pathfinder group, but,
1. A little-known talent of your OC?hes really good at holding his breath, but being amphibious, that never comes up
2. What trait does your OC like best about themself? (Eyes, guitar skills, random bird facts, etc)hes real proud of how he makes his face look, with the makeup and shit, cause its a look he tried to figure out on what he liked for a while
3. How many pillows does your OC sleep with?just one or two
4. Is your OC good at keeping secrets?he tries his best, anyway, hes got some big secrets hell hold to the grave and he doesnt like spilling other peoples business5. Your OC's worst habit?hes too casual a dude and isnt good at tone shifting when talking to important people6. Does your OC prefer tennis shoes/sneakers or flip flops?flip flops7. What is your OC's opinion on body modifications?ABSOLUTELY LOVES EM8. Your OC is given a full-ride scholarship to any college they could want to go to. Where do they go and what do they major in?he goes to notre dame to double major in respecting women and minecraft9. What chore does your OC hate the most?out of any chore he probably would hate changing and washing sheets the most10. Would your OC prefer to live in the city, the suburbs, or the country?city, cause he loves places with lots of people11. Is your OC a blanket hog?yeah, only when hes dead asleep though
12. Would your OC play by the rules in a fight or take cheap shots?“ALLS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR” he yells as he repeatedly casts spells to make enemies attack each other
13. Does your OC have a widow 's peak?na
14. Happy birthday! What kind of present would your OC want?he would absolutely die if someone bought him something music related, tbh, like a new guitar, but he also likes cosmetics, mirrors, and, most importantly, really heartfelt or handmade stuff15. Something that grosses your OC out?maggots, also stuff that smells real bad
16. Your OC is suddenly on an adventure! Where do they go and what do they do?the nearest town to catch up on gossip and learn more News
17. Is there a real person that looks like your OC?yeah its me, kinda - i modeled his body type after mine18. Something that makes your OC laugh without fail?”youmst”19. Something that makes your OC cry without fail?aster is very much devoted to ‘conceal dont feel’ so something would have to be huge and deeply personal to make him cry, like if his friends died20. A obscure/ridiculous fear your OC has?being abandoned, possibly?21. Does your OC have any type of disability, whether it be mental, physical, etc?thats a kind of tricky subject and hard to delve into without getting into possible spoilers22. Does your OC get frustrated when people forget to close the door behind themselves?nah, he likes a healthy breeze23. What is your OC's first memory?goin too far outta the village to play as a rambunctious little scrap and then (spoilers)24. Something you like that your OC would hate?chillin out inside in my room all day25. Your OC is going into battle/on a mission! What song is their anthem?iiiii dont know music good enough
26. Does your OC have good or bad posture?hes a real laid back dude who isnt afraid to slouch27. Most despicable thing your OC has ever done?spoilers28. Is your OC a conspiracy theorist?absolutely, but he doesnt go on and on about it, hes just a casual believer in that shit29. Someone does something awful in front of your OC. How do they handle it?”man what the fuck is your problem”30. What is your OC's favorite drink?fruit juice, probably strawberry lemonade if he could get his hands on it31. Does your OC prefer to sleep in a warm or cool area?asters used to the cold from where he grew up (a northern deep sea village)32. Would your OC like you if they met you?asters chill with everyone so yea33. A song that reminds you of your OC?i dont know songs good34. Is your OC a nail biter?yeah, but not biting them down too far - just now and then, if he cant clip them
35. What is your OC's favorite quote?”ill kick you halfway into next week looking both ways for sunday” is his favorite quote for a fight and hes looking for an excuse to use it36. Your OC's favorite fashion era? (20's, 70's, etc)80s. bright colors, gaudy workout outfits? yes please37. Does your OC get excited when they get mail?hell yeah he loves hearing from people38. Random thunderstorm! How does your OC react?hed go lay around in the rain but lightning is dangerous, so he watches it through a window39. A strange talent of your OC?he can fit a whole lemon in his mouth40. Assuming your OC doesn't have them already, what superpower would they want? If they do already, would they change it, keep it, or get rid of it?his superpowers would probably be his magic, psionic sensitivity and water breathing, and hes pretty chill with all that41. Does your OC like/make puns?he LOVES puns but never comes up with his own on time42. What kind of shampoo does your OC use?bein a sea elf, his hair is unused to shampoos but if he did it would be citrus43. Your OC wakes up with a coin super glued to their forehead. How do they react?its the new #look, time to rock it44. Can your OC sleep if there's any kind of light?he will sleep ANYWHERE and sleeps very deeply45. What kind of self-esteem does your OC have?hes a bit full of himself, thinkin himself beautiful and shit46. A word that your OC can't stand?”yolk”47. Does your OC fold their clothes, hang them up, or just leave them in the basket/dryer?he just leaves em in the basket .. hes too lazy. he has magic clothes anyway they wont get dirty48. Would society call your OC a good guy or a bad guy? What would they say they are?that.................... really depends on how much they know of him and what society it is. id say hes a bad guy with good intentions and he cant help his circumstances, and he also does a whole lot of good anyway.49. Your OC's most prized possession?anything that his crew in thuvia have given him, really, though hes also never gonna let go of his journal of course50. What is your OC's happy place?the concept of takin a breather, holdin alex’s hand and just chillin
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absolutebandtrashlol · 8 years ago
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im not on here enough to do one every day. so im just gonna do all of them right now. 
1. ive been self harming for almost 4 years. i had first started because of bullying and self-esteem problems. i developed depression and anxiety. and i thought it was the only thing that could help
2. my left, lower, arm. thats where i had first started also...
3.i honestly have no motivation. ive tried to recover. but everytime i start to go crazy and i relapse it never lasts long. 
4.yes...because of the fact, i cant last a full week without doing it. if someone takes my razor i freak out and start throwing things around my room trying to find it. id do anything to have it back. or to get a new one...i hate that im like this. but i cant stop it.
5. the pain after doing it. going into the shower, it stings and it hurts. but i always just remind myself of why i did it. 
6. i love the release i feel while doing it. it calms me. it helps me...but then i lose control and soon my whole arm or leg is covered in cuts and blood.
7. i dont think i have 10. but ill list what i do. i color, sing, draw, read, watch youtube, write, and take pictures of things, and sometimes go for long walks.
8. honestly no one has ever said something supportive to help me stop. other then the basic. ���everything will be fine” and “stay strong”
9. yea...sometimes. im not even sure why i do it. i have pictures on my laptop of some. sometimes if i ever tell anyone they ask to see it. so i take a picture. i just forget to delete them.
10. at one point i wasnt ashamed about them...but now thats a whole new story. i hate my scars. i usually dont want anyone to see them. but i cant always hide them with certain shirts. i dont wear shorts so my legs stay fully hidden. 
11. my friends bathroom... it was a sleepover. i think it was around 2 in the morning. they were sleeping. i wasnt, i was thinking too much. i went to the bathroom and found something sharp and did it, and got rid of what i used. i didnt get caught.
12. no one ever goes in my room so most of the time they are on my little stool next to my bed. if not its in my drawer or in my colored pencil kit. (it came with a pencil sharpener. so i took that out. and just put it back after.
13. that it is a horrible addiction. and that i dont think ill ever be able to stop...
14. i think at one point, there was a youtuber that inspired me. but then 1 week later i relapsed. and i couldnt keep trying anymore.
15. youtube, and google....sometimes i look at peoples scars. comparing mine to theirs....but then i just call myself a pussy because theirs is worse. i dont know why im like this....
16. please. im begging you....dont make that first cut....you will regret it so much....you will become addicted and you will hate yourself so much for that tiny little scrape. that soon becomes open bleeding wounds. just please. dont do it....people will be hurt by your actions. just dont be like me...
17. yea...a few of my friends either have or still are self harming.
18. im so proud of you...you did it. right now, it feels like im never going to get better...but if you are reading this right now. that means...we made it...we really did. or maybe, we are still struggling, but guess what, we are still alive. maybe we will never be ok...but at least we are keeping others happy by this...
19. 1, no more scars and cuts to hide. 2, family wont be disappointing. and honestly other then that i dont really know anything else. 
20. the time that i had the worse episode of my life so far. both arms and legs cut up. i was so close to suicide. i had so many cuts....i think i still have a picture from that....that picture is stuck in my head forever anyways...
21. ive tried many times...and im honestly not trying anymore, because everytime i try, i fail, so whats the point of trying.
22. at the park with the big pond, theres a table under a little roof thing looking over the whole pond and park. i sit there and think, and write.
23. F.E.A.R, has two meanings. Forget everything and run. and Face everything and rise. the choice is yours.
24. yelling, because of my father, and then my step father. any kind of negative talk towards me, because of bullying. and people joking about depression/suicide/selfharm. for obvious reasons.
25. i try to ignore them. i just dont want to be reminded about all that crap.
26. when someone tells me they love me. and i can tell they really mean it. or just the simple things...like sitting on the top of a parking garage watching the sun set. 
27. i think the longest i went without self harming was 2 and a half weeks.
28. i dont know, just try to last longer without self harming, but so far that isnt going to well.
29. yea i think so. 
30.i cant add anymore pictures in this. plus everytime i look at a picture of myself i just pick out every small little flaw possible...
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qkantyjk-blog · 5 years ago
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health insurance quotes wisconsin
health insurance quotes wisconsin
health insurance quotes wisconsin
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jzogymti-blog · 5 years ago
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Average car insurance for 17 year old male?
Average car insurance for 17 year old male?
An average second hand car, In the UK.
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weepingalter-blog · 6 years ago
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Have you ever:
1) Self harmed?
yeah. i no longer do it tho. i fear the response 
2) Got into a real fight?
cam and i would get into fights when we were young. it wasnt serious but hes strong and im weak so bruises werent uncommon. apart from that then no
3) Been too depressed to move out of your bed?
yup
4) Tried to commit suicide?
yes. obviously failed
5) Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?
yeah
6) Watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting?
no. i dont watch tv
7) Talked yourself out of serious trouble?
yup. go back to self harm
8) Accused someone of using you?
of course. i am so afraid of the past repeating itself
9) Shoplifted?
no. too afraid to
10) Gotten drunk/high?
no. i doubt i never will
11) Been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing?
no. concerts scare me so much
12) Skipped doing homework to play a video game?
not really
(Right now) Are you: 13) Suicidal?
yeah. not like i would ever do it
14) Bored?
no? just extremely depressed and paranoid
15) Avoiding someone?
technically yes. i dont want to talk to people right now
16) Avoiding some task?
yes if you count self destructive things
17) Depressed?
haha yes
18) Crying?
god i wish so. i cant as mum will soon come up to bed and i cant let her see me crying
19) Annoyed with a friend?
paranoia is making me do feel annoyed
20) Worried and confused about something important to you?
yeah i guess
Do you: 21) Get depressed easily?
yeeeesss
22) Get jealous/envious easily?
again yes
23) Feel listening to music can take your mind off things?
depends on the music
24) Worry about messing about your relationships a lot?
yes. a lot. i do it anyway so why worry
25) Try hard in all your classes at school?
i am at college now but yeah. i need to try now
26) Go out drinking?
no
27) Smoke cigarettes?
no
28) Smoke weed?
no
29) Do any hard drugs?
no
30) If you said yes to 28 but no to 29, Why?
no to both. i cant even get away with it so why bother
31) Believe in God/Belong to a religion of your own free will?
no. i am sure i am a nihilist
32) Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them?
yesyesyes
33) Agree that self harm numbs emotional pain?
yup
34) Believe people deserve second chances?
NO
35) Agree with ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’? (ignoring the religious relation to that saying)
i dont know. i fear being hurt for doing something bad in return so i guess not
36) Think things will get better?
i want to think it but i cant even believe it
37) Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished?
yes
38) (be honest) Do you judge people who think differently to you? (seriously, be honest)
of course
Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend: pretty sure im on the ace spectrum but regardless ill do it
39) Long hair OR short hair?
long
40) (For Girls one) nice smile OR nice abs?
nice abs i guess
41) (For Guys one) nice smile OR nice chest?
i dont think im attracted to men
42) Shy OR open?
open? as long as they are there for me
43) Eyes OR body?
eyes
44) Religious OR non-religious?
non-religious i guess
45) Caring OR non-restricting of you?
caring
46) Straight edge OR non-straight edge?
i dont know what this means
47) Piercings OR no piercings?
no piercings
48) Tattoos OR no tattoos?
tattoos
49) Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?
stay at home
50) Has friends you get along with OR has parents you get along with?
friends
Would you: 51) Drink alcohol until you were drunk?
no
52) Smoke weed?
no
53) Smoke cigarettes?
no
54) Get even with someone who betrayed you?
never
55) Forgive a boyfriend/girlfriend who deeply hurt you?
fuck no
56) Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you?
maybe. if theres nothing to stop me then yeah
57) Keep your faith (any religious view) no matter what?
sure
58) Join a band as a part time activity?
no
59) Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse?
i mean sure
60) Stand up for your beliefs if someone strongly goes against them?
nooo
61) Go vegetarian for a month to see what is was like?
i might not stick to it but ill try
62) Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family?
no. cant fight
63) Edit photos of yourself before posting them online?
i dont post pictures online
64) Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported?
they arent friends so no
65) Be friends with someone who was nice to you, but a cunt to other people?
i dont really interact with people but sure
66) Not like someone simply because your friend(s) didn’t like them?
possibly
67) Lie to someone close to you because you don’t want them put up with your problems?
oh lots
68) Starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes?
not for clothes, no. i am close to underweight as im 5.3ft and around 110 pounds so very close to underweight
69) Get surgery on any part of you? If yes then which part of you?
no. why bother
70) Sleep naked?
i do that already so yeah
You can only choose one: 71) Black or Orange?
black
72) Metalcore OR Post-Hardcore?
metal?
73) Cellphone or Computer?
computer
74) Chocolate milk OR Coke?
coke
75) Tumblr OR Friends?
tumblr. i can be private on here
76) Apple OR PC?
whats the difference
77) TV Shows OR Movies?
movies
78) Old bands OR new Bands?
new
79) Pop-Punk OR Alternative Rock?
music
80) Reading OR Listening to music?
listening to music
81) Coke OR Pepsi? Define your reason for your choice.
whats the difference
82) Staying who you are OR changing yourself drastically?
staying who i am. the latter would make things worse
83) Breakdown OR Clean vocal bridge?
i dont care
84) Jonny Craig OR Kellin Quinn? Define your reason for your choice.
wut
85) Ronnie OR Craig? Define your reason for your choice.
dont care
86) Your life as a comedy OR Your life as a documentary?
documentary. i know my life is a joke but it suits a documentary
87) Go to outer space OR Go all around Europe?
outer space
88) Shoes OR Shirts?
shirts
89) Chelsea Grin OR Suicide Silence?
nah
90) Drop out of school to get a job OR stay at school and finish your education. Define your reason for your choice.
stay. i am close to finishing college so why bother
Almost over: 91) So far have you told 90 truths? And for fuck sake be honest.
i did my best
92) Are you quiet about your social life with your family?
yes
93) Do you want to travel when you are older?
no
94) Would you let go of people who mean the most to you to follow your dreams?
i dont have any dreams so no
95) Did you notice there are no sex related questions?
i dont care. plus since there are questions about school then good
96) Rather be the opposite gender?
what would that be? agender?
97) What will you name your son/daughter?
hope
98) Do you get harassed more than most people do?
i think
99) What band do you hate the most? Define your reason.
dont have one
100) What makes you a bad person in your mind?
im just so shit and terrible and all i do is hurt others
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