astranauticus

[astranauticus]

hong lu hairstyles (+ one yi sang)

[astranauticus]

I am so obsessed with this fish it's unreal, honestly.

God's normalest soldier. I know it's off-type and a patrolwoman is only knight-adjacent, but I have to at least talk about some of the things she's done. In no particular order, this fish:

- Once intimidated a Victorian noble into submission, entirely by accident, by being perfectly capable of keeping up with his small talk and outdoing him in talking about the weather; she later recalled this entire conversation, word for word, from memory so she could recount it to her girlfriend and ask what she'd done wrong

- Constantly draws squiggles and squares on her sketchpad in a way that helps her think but is incomprehensible to anyone else... except the Doctor, and honestly that's basically worse than if even they didn't understand; this got to the point that Warfarin - an actual medical doctor - assumed she must think too fast for her own brain to keep up with and needs the sketchpad as an assistive device

- Compiled a detailed report of her own life, including extremely private events, and then stood stock-still for seven hours while a mortified Doctor read it, incapable of speaking up about how abnormal it was due to how intimidating she is

- Was rejected from the Abyssal Hunters program, not for being the only person insane enough to willingly apply to have Eldritch Jellyfish Goo injected into her veins, but because she was doing it to mimic the world's edgiest DILF

- Regularly spends hours in the kitchen creating 'food' that's more akin to sensory experiences, like chewing herbs or spiced jerky you're only meant to let soak in your mouth, then pairs those with artful poems or delicate drawings; she then puts them in the cabinets because she's too used to uploading things to the Atlantis 3D Printer Omninet, where they're promptly snatched by Ceobe before anyone can see

- Has several kinds of neurotoxin that she can apply to her gun, all of which have meticulously thought-through use cases

- Wrote a thesis on the ineffectual physical results of coffee as a stimulant, after shotgunning 10 espressos and not feeling a thing, and proceeded to extol the virtues of the drink as effectively a placebo since all the culture around coffee implies it should work, and so that's why she assumes it does; she even blended her usual stimulants with coffee in order to create something suitable for her experiments, and it's some neon blue sludge

- (Of note, that last thing is her module... which raises the amount of poison damage her shots do)

[astranauticus]

if you have even the slightest interest in cool poses, you're obligated to read the hellsing manga, where every single pose (no matter how casual) had to be filtered into looking cool before hirano was comfortable including it

[astranauticus]

hey Dalong what's it like to have this kind of gender game going on

[astranauticus]

2023 China Literature Festival - Mao Dun Literature Prize Night

[astranauticus]

I think some of the funniest stuff in Arknights is when they try to justify the outfit change for an Alter unit. I haven't seen all of them, of course, but my favorites include:

Silence - "I was undergoing a clandestine covert mission for the boss of the *R&D DEPARTMENT* when another of my bosses found me and gave me a free makeover."

Skadi - "Some old guy who I helped out once gave me these clothes as a disguise from the Spanish Inquisition so I'd stand out less. No, I did not ask why he had a sultry outfit in my size just lying around."

Lava - "This is literally my cool self-insert OC's design for the movie my girlfriend wrote for me to star in. Do not steal." *bumps into a wall because of her stupid blindfold*

[astranauticus]

I think some of the funniest stuff in Arknights is when they try to justify the outfit change for an Alter unit. I haven't seen all of them, of course, but my favorites include:

Silence - "I was undergoing a clandestine covert mission for the boss of the *R&D DEPARTMENT* when another of my bosses found me and gave me a free makeover."

Skadi - "Some old guy who I helped out once gave me these clothes as a disguise from the Spanish Inquisition so I'd stand out less. No, I did not ask why he had a sultry outfit in my size just lying around."

Lava - "This is literally my cool self-insert OC's design for the movie my girlfriend wrote for me to star in. Do not steal." *bumps into a wall because of her stupid blindfold*

[astranauticus]

I'll fully respect anyone who wants to take canon material and run off into their own little fanon corner where they flesh out paltry characters and relationships into something they want to play with. I will NOT respect the person who does this and absolutely insists the author meant it that way from the start and everyone else just doesn't get it.

[astranauticus]

Listen, sometimes a ship is less about wanting them to kiss or have sex or whatever, and more about needing them to be so endlessly intertwined and connected to the point where they might as well be one creature.

[astranauticus]

your black hole isnt even round

[astranauticus]

stop normalizing ai use in fandom 👎

[astranauticus]

The fact that there are so many hackable nervous feedback systems in the body is absurd. We can just be like "I want to feel something different now" and twitch the right muscle like switching modes on an old digital watch. Fucking ridiculous meat machine.

[astranauticus]

you have forgotten your innocence and whimsy. go listen to Vocaloid songs about eating people and remember what it was like to be filled with childlike wonder.

[astranauticus]

Friend: Hey, how are you doing?

Me: I’m doing okay, how are you?

Me, eleven hours later: I wish I had said “bad” and then collapsed to the ground like a marionette with cut strings, sobbing until I threw up.

[astranauticus]

i want what david cronenberg has

[astranauticus]

Liu Xiao and Vein packing light as if they're just away for business, while Xia Fei is bringing along his entire life. He really is just a college student...

btw, what's in that large box XF is always carrying behind him?

[astranauticus]

Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I don’t care man, I have car payments