#BUT NOOOO i think i like what i have so far... i spent all evening working on them

[todayisafridaynight]

not to make people believe in me and my work ethic but im lowkey a liiiitttttleeee stoked to share the fics ive been cookin lately..

[dark-and-kawaii]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Tease ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

⋆˙⟡♡ Summary: You aren’t sure when teasing your sensei over text became such a ritual, but honestly you wouldn’t want it to be with anyone else. You just never expected him to show up at your door.

⋆˙⟡♡ Notes: (Y/N) is aged up to 18 and is a third year!!! Please enjoy!!

⋆˙⟡♡ NSFW | Sexting | Gojo Gives You Head | Masturbation | Jealous Gojo | Gojo Plays With His Beautiful Thick Cock

(Y/n): “I just want you to know how disappointed I am in you, Sensei."

You decided to tease him over text. 

(Y/n): “Ya know what you did is technically illegal, right?”

Ghoejo Sensei: “~Oh?”

(Y/n): “Mhmm.”

Ghoejo Sensei: “~It’s only illegal if you didn’t like it, but you liked it. Didn’t you?”

With a subtle twitch, you giggle at the memory from earlier… 

You and Itadori were training with the others while Gojo Sensei observed everyone from his spot on the school building. Exhausted, you had decided to grace him with your presence, joining him leaned back against the same wall.

“Aren’t you going to get in there and rough us up, Sensei?”

He could feel your beaming warm smile. Just being around you made his day.

Laughing, Gojo’s voice was filled with pure excitement as always when with you, “Nah, i like watching everyone get thrown around…” -his voice was low so only you could hear-, “…(y/n), you really shouldn’t wear such a short skirt during training.”

“Oh?! Why’s tha-“

“Some might try to sneak a peek.”

That damn smirk of his practically had you melting while your face felt like it was about to catch on fire. 

“S-Sensei? W-why would you say that!?”

Just as you were about to adjust your skirt, you heard the unmistakable snap of a camera shutter, indicating that a photo was being taken on a phone. Glancing down where the noise had come, you were shocked -not really- to discover your sensei positioning his phone under your skirt at an angle where he could see right between your legs…

Staring at the screen, you could see your black lace panties staring back at you as he tried to get another good shot.

He’s never been so bold like this in front of other students… Let alone out in the open on school property. If one of the others saw anything you- fuck, or the higher ups… you both would be kicked off the grounds and- and- oh god the reputation!

Gojo’s would be tarnished and you- … Okay you didn’t really have a reputation to worry about, but still! You damn well would after everyone finds out you’ve been sleeping with the famous sorcerer, also known as your Sensei!! This was far too risky of him-

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Gojo never once looked in your direction, “~Shhh… No one saw, (y/n). Go back to training though, before i puni-”

“Hey! (Y/n)! Are you coming back!” Itadori was waving for you to come back over to them, his foot on Megumi’s back. 

Now here you are, back in your room, lying on your bed with restless legs as you texted your beloved Sensei.

(Y/N): “I didn’t say I enjoyed it, Sensei 🥺.”

You tried to make the text sound innocent, but you knew how he liked to play games. So, why not play along?

(Y/n): “What did I gain by you snapping a photo? Perhaps I should tell the higher ups?”

GhoeJo Sensei: “~Oh ho, are you threatening me little girl?”

Chuckling to yourself, you could just picture the smug expression on Gojo's face. He wasn't intimidated by you at all, and you were well aware of it. Yet, you found the whole situation amusing.

(Y/n): “Noooo, never! …But… what if I confided in Itadori? Sukuna would hear what happened, and I don’t think he’d like that all too well, now would he?”

Although you couldn't see it, Gojo's playful smile vanished immediately as he read your latest text. He spent several minutes just looking at the screen. It was true, Sukuna had grown quite fond of you- to an extent that was hard to ignore. Sukuna had even managed to gain control over Yuji, solely to rescue you from a special grade curse. On another occasion, Sukuna took control of Itadori's arm, just to drape it around your waist according to what Yuji had told him… And there was that time the notorious king of curses forcibly broke down your room’s door...

Not even realizing how hard he was holding his phone, Gojo’s eyes snapped open fully to the sound of his delicate screen cracking… “tsk..”

Several minutes passed before his phone chimed. It took him a moment to register that you had sent him a photo, a close up shot at that, and it left little to the imagination. You were pulling up your thong so that the contours of your pussy lips could be seen through the thin fabric. Gojo took note of the small little damp spot… It was a simple yet effective tease, but before he could fully appreciate the image, another photo arrived.

In this one, the fabric was pulled taut, accentuating the details even more explicitly. This time, you were pulling up your panties high enough so that they were digging into your crotch, exposing those sweet little pussy lips he could lap at all day long.

(Y/n): “That’s what you wanted, right Sensei? You know if you just wanted photo’s all you had to do was ask 😉.”

After pressing the send button, you swiftly undressed shedding each layer of fabric from your body. As you stripped down the anticipation grew, wondering what your sensei might have in store for you. The silence that followed the Sukuna text left you questioning if it had truly affected him though…

Now completely naked, you position yourself on the bed, ready to capture one final enticing image. On your knees, your tongue playfully extended from your mouth, while your lips form a 'O' shape. With the camera angled just right, it captures the perfect view deep down your throat. Using your free hand, you do your best to mimic the imagery of holding a cock next to your plump lips mouth, your drool cascading down the corners of your lips…

(Y/n): *image*

Ghoejo Sensei: “You’re such a naughty girl for me. ~I’m gonna have to spank you the next time I see you.”

Taking a deep breath you press your face into your bed, raising your ass in the air. Your arm stretched back with your phone, positioning it so that your wet folds could be captured along with your ass.

(Y/n): *image*

Ghoejo Sensei: “Are you touching yourself to my texts, baby girl? Is that tight little pussy craving my attention?"

Your hips moved back and forth as the pad of your middle finger slowly rubbed your clothed clit. It was so sensitive that just the slightest touch would cause a small jolt through your body.

(Y/n): “wouldn’t you like to know.”

Ghoejo Sensei: voice message

Pressing play on the voice message, you can hear the rustling of sheets and clothes being thrown around. Your body shivers when his voice begins.

Ghoejo Sensei: “Don’t worry, daddy will come take care of you.”

A soft whimper leaves your lips. Closing your eyes, you imagine your tall, lean sensei standing in the doorway. His head tilted slightly downward, allowing the shadows to conceal his face except for that damn smug smile…

You could feel your face flush, this was so embarrassing… What if someone barged in your room… Especially Itadori, well Sukuna… Burying the thought deep within your head, you lift your phone above your ass again with the camera pointed down and with your other hand you did your best to spread open your delicate asshole. With a snap and a simple click, you send it…

(Y/n): “I’m ready and waiting.”

Gojo was lying on his bed, his pants undone, hand pumping his cock slowly. With each text he would read, his hand would increase its speed.

(Y/n): *image*

When he saw the last photo, his phone was practically crushed by his tight grip. He could feel his balls tighten as precum began to spill from the tip of his thick cock, the veins swollen around it giving it a nice texture. The sight of your tight hole had him biting his lip as the image replayed in his head, and the fact that you were spreading your asshole to reveal it just for him made him cum instantly.

He could barely breathe, his chest rising and falling as his cum spurted across his chest. His head was thrown back as he released a strangled groan, “such a naughty little tease”.

Of course he wasn’t tired quite yet, he had the stamina of a god and he became rock hard once again. He already looked at you differently from his other students and now after this he really wasn’t going to be able to look at you as just his student he’s having a fling with again. You were a sexual object to be desired now, someone he wished to keep forever, but at this very moment he would give anything to be the reason your asshole was gapping in this picture or why you were drooling in your first photo.

Ghoejoe: “You should come sneak in my room, again.”

You didn’t obliged, instead you sent a string of photos detailing you fingering your ass and probing your slick pussy with two fingers after. Playing with your breasts, rolling your nipples between your fingers, you even captured yourself throwing your head back as you tugged on one of your nipples, as if you were a cow ready to be milked.

You had to admit to yourself that you loved doing this, spreading your legs like some whore for her sensei… The thought alone sent shivers of pleasure throughout your entire body.

Gojo: *image*

It was a photo of his beautiful cock, the head still a deep red and swollen. His thick shaft was covered in his own cum and a bit of precum. You could feel the juices leaking from your pussy as you stared at the photo.

Grabbing your pink vibrator from your dresser you pressed it into your welcoming pussy, your eyes glued to the photo the entire time. Turning the dial to its max setting, the buzzing could be heard as you slid the toy in and out. Pulling the toy out, you quickly placed the head to your sensitive clit, rolling it around your nub. The thought of his large hands on you again was turning you into a moaning mess, you could feel your juices slip past your toy and onto the sheets, could feel yourself cream around the base of it. Fuck, why couldn’t he be here with you now, you needed your sensei, needed your Satoru to come take care of you.

Your hand was trembling making it hard to hold onto your phone yet you still managed to capture a photo of you mid orgasm. There was a stream of clear liquid in the frame, your face full of shock at having squirted was apparent. You couldn’t believe how dirty you felt, it was intoxicating.

“~Oh baby girl, you’re so filthy! Look at you, you’ve gone and made quite the mess.”

Your phone flung across the room while you made the cutest little yip noise, your legs shutting together at the surprise voice. Gojo appeared in your room, his heavenly blue eyes peering at your from behind his sunglasses. His large hands come to your knees and parted your legs so he can rub between your pussy lips with his thumb…

“S-Sensei… I- Why are you h-here…?” Your voice was so cute to him, you could barely even speak as he rubs your slick entrance. “You know why i’m here, (y/n). Now, why don’t you tell me what a dirty little girl you are, and maybe I won't have to punish you so hard this time, hm? Tell your sensei how much you were enjoying yourself and maybe I'll let you suck on this cock.”

He leaned down, his head between your legs. Goosebumps forming whenever his snowy hair tickles your soft thighs. With no hesitation he sticks his tongue out to licks up your folds, lapping up your arousal from before.

“Mmm… Sensei~♡! I-i'm a dirty girl- A dirty little whore for you~!” His tongue was licking all over, teasing your clit with each swipe. He had one hand keeping your legs apart and the other was gripping the sheets.

“Tell me what you're a whore for, baby girl~.” His hot breath against your wet pussy, the way his nose nudges against your sensitive nub.

“I-I'm a dirty- A dirty little cockwhore, S-sensei~. I want you- Need your cock in my- ah~! in my mou-mouth, in my pus- pussy, my ass~~~♡!!”

The way your hips bucked with every swipe of his tongue, the way your breathing was uneven and shaky. Oh the sounds you were making, the moans, the whimpers. His eyes almost rolled back at the feeling of your juices against his tongue, his lips, “That’s my girl.”

Before you could scream his name you bit down on your lip to silence yourself. You can’t afford to have someone hear this… Not when these walls were so thin… You were finally getting what you wanted tonight, attention from your sensei, Gojo Satoru, and you wanted nothing more than to scream his name… But with Sukuna around, quite literally on the other side of these walls, the price you’d pay would be far greater if he heard you and Gojo going at it…

As your back arches, he moves his hand to press it firmly down on your lower abdomen, a way of trying to pin you down as his tongue delves deeper. You were so close to coming undone, your body was trembling.

Gojo knows he’ll drag this out since it was his favorite form of punishment. And he also knows you hold back your noises so that Sukuna wouldn’t hear, and he knows its for your own safety… However, you had him to protect you, he wouldn’t allow anything to happen to you.

Pulling back from between your legs, you both make eye contact, your chest rising with every heavy breath you take…

“(y/n), don’t hold it back… Say my name tonight. Let him hear it, let him know who you belong to tonight.”

A blush forms as you realize what he said.

Gojo wants him to hear you tonight, to hear how good you were for him. To know that he had a claim on his favorite little student…

“B-but…”

“Tut tut, no buts my sweet little cinnamon swirl. The only buts i’m allowing is this one.” He squeezes your ass, earning another cute little noise from you.

“Goj-Satoru… You- I.. We ca-can’t get caught by anyone though.” There’s tears in your eyes, he can see you’re genuinely afraid for him, not for you…

“(y/n). Let me handle the higher ups and everyone else.” Looking down, he watches as your pussy glistens with his saliva… His thumb brushing over your skin, “I’ve always wanted a good excuse to piss off the higher ups,” -His features soft- “You’re a good reason to fight them, so let’s just enjoy ourselves tonight, and don’t worry about Sukuna.”

His lips came down onto yours tenderly, as if you had both been lovers for years. Your eyes shut tight as his tongue glides across your bottom lip, requesting permission to enter. Opening your mouth, his tongue delves into the warm cavern and his cock twitches.

“I’m stronger after all.” He sticks his tongue out at you with a wink before thrusting his cock inside of your waiting pussy. You cry out his name, arching your back so far that it hurt, but the pain was forgotten as soon as you felt his hot cock buried deep within your needy pussy.

“Tonight, let me hear you scream my name.”

[astonmartinii]

hi, i was wondering if you could do one of y/n dating carlos but people start realizing she flirting with charles in the comments, at the beginning in a very discreet way, but after a while she and carlos break up and when the new season starts she’s with charles

all is fair in love and war | charles leclerc instagram au

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

y/n is happy in her relationship with carlos but all that time in the ferrari garage might have her eye wandering

(obvs no intentions to demonise anyone, this is a work of fiction and purely for entertainment purposes)

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 55,607 others

tagged: yourbff1, yourbff2

yourusername: no one i'd rather play mermaids with than you two xx

view all 9,231 comments

yourbff1 always the best time with you guys <3

yourbff2 platonic soulmates for real

carlossainz55 my pretty lady

yourusername thank you baby

charles_leclerc i thought i was your baby ?

yourusername just cause you act like a baby doesn't make you mine x

user5 what is going on here lol

user12 not them flirting under her own boyfriend's comment i can't

user34 god i wish i was her

carlossainz55

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 112,309 others

carlossainz55: let's go spa - the second half of the season is a go!

view all 13,405 comments

scuderiaferrari let's go smooth operator

yourusername good luck baby

charles_leclerc where's my good luck

yourusername i'm literally sat with you right now

user33 the hair routine is a need not a want

user19 charles and y/n once again flirting in the comments - am i the only one who finds it weird?

uer13 i mean a bit? but also like the comments are clearly jokes

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 452,091 others

charles_leclerc: monza ready 🇮🇹

view all 14,562 comments

pierregasly you clean up well calmar

yourusername part time driver, full time model

charles_leclerc you'd know all about being a model

user48 i know there's weird vibes with carlos and y/n but like as far as we know they're still together so ^^^ that is still weird

user20 call me a bad person but i want charles and y/n to get togetehr

user1 no cause their vibes have always seemed much more suited than hers and carlos

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff1 and 60,076 others

yourusername: the only man i'll ever need is mauricio (even if his hair has ruined 50% of my wardrobe)

view all 11,066 comments

user47 this caption... something is off

user60 carlos hasn't liked either and he just posted on his story so he's been active on the app

charles_leclerc but does mauricio have a boat?

yourusername you got him there

user8 okay but like at this point does she just come with the ferrari seat?

user3 tbf i wish i could be with both carlos and charles

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 223,098 others

carlossainz55: time well spent with family ❤️

view all 15,203 comments

user44 okay i'm going full conspiracy mode, but y/n has always visited carlos' family with him and the fact she's not been seen at a race since she was left at the airport... i think they've broken up

user11 noooo they were my faves but i think you might be right :(

scuderiaferrari can't wait to see them back in the garage

landonorris where was my invite?

user2 y/n rn^

f1wagsupdates

liked by user1, user2 and 220 others

tagged: yourusername, charles_leclerc

f1wagsupdates: charles and y/n y/ln seen together in abu dhabi - this comes just weeks after her and carlos' break up... do we think that all those flirty comments mean they did actually cheat?

view all 13 comments

user35 they defo cheated but it's also charles so like i'd also be tempted

yourusername people can just be friends you know

user45 so true !! also like carlos has already been spotted with a new girl multiple times all the way back to when he left her at the airport, but for some reason he's the victim ???

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff1 and 61,207 others

tagged: yourbff1

yourusername: despite popular belief i am a single woman

view all 10,455 comments

charles_leclerc doesn't have to be for long

pierregasly man, you're playing a dangerous game

yourusername maybe we like a bit of danger

user32 yep i'm officially on the charles and y/n train

user10 i know we've said they're probably just joking but i genuinely hope they get together, they seem like they're good for each other

carlossainz55

liked by scuderiaferrari, landonorris and 429,561 others

carlossainz55: no better way to do winter break

view all 14,034 comments

user13 they're so so cute

user55 omg maybe carlos might actually have a girlfriend who doesn't constantly flirt with his teammate

user30 the way that she's still be demonised for harmless comments when he was seen with isa way before carlos and y/n broke up and got with her officially within a week of the breakup

comments have been limited on this post

yourusername added to their story

[caption: pasta day is my favourite day]

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 709,822 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: all is fair in love and war

view all 94,034 comments

user56 HOLY SHIT

user21 AHHHHHHHHHHHH

yourusername i'd fight this war all over again to end up with you

user48 I KNEW THEY WOULD BE CUTE

user88 okay now i don't feel so bad for rooting for them

f1wagsupdates

liked by user5, user9 and 330 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

f1wagsupdates: though controversial in the way it came about, i for one love this relationship - what do you guys think?

view all 14 comments

user11 carlos did this and way sooner so i am defo a fan of this relationship

user49 they slay i don't care what anyone says

user2 i love it and she's a smart queen cause she doesn't even need to buy any more new merchandise

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 98,134 others

yourusername: made the super long journey to the garage next door

view all 17,560 comments

user31 she's so so pretty

charles_leclerc thank you for making such selfless sacrifices

yourusername good thing you're worth it

user41 i need to meet her

user10 the shady hand covering the other one

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 1,023,671 others

tagged: yourusername, scuderiaferrari

view all 21,067 comments

user46 SLAY CHARLES

yourusername pretty boy with a pretty trophy - i'm so so proud of you xx

charles_leclerc you're much prettier than my trophy baby

user90 parents

carlossainz55 happy for both of you

charles_leclerc thanks bro

yourusername it was unorthodox but we're both happy now and that's all that matters

note" hope you enjoyed, this ended up so much longer than expected but i had a lot of fun writing this !! my asks are still open for any other requests xx

[keyotos]

disgusting

summary ⎯ after a long day, all you want to do is relax with your boyfriend.

tags ⎯ gn!reader. tooth-rotting fluff. ONE minor innuendo. basically alhaitham is in love.

tana's words ⎯ hi guys sorry for the mini hiatus but i'm bored and i am going to write this very quick and very simple drabble just bc

"why do they always have to run?" you complain as you settle onto the couch that alhaitham was quietly reading on. "i mean, it's never gonna do anything. like, we are the matra. we can catch up to you at any second, but noooo, running will most definitely allow you to evade us," sarcasm dripped from your voice.

alhaitham puts down his book and turns his attention towards you. earlier that night, when you arrived home, you barely even greeted him. now, alhaitham is not one to get clingy due to the fact that you didn't greet him with as much affection as usual, but he was missing you quite a bit (not that he'd ever let you know that), so he was concerned.

the affection you had given him prior tonight was a chaste kiss on the lips. it wasn't much, but it still meant a lot to him, whether he showed it or not. tonight, you pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. ridiculous, alhaitham is well aware, but it still raised some concern within him. your actions meant you probably had a stressful day, which made alhaitham want to know more.

when did he start finding himself enthralled with your very essence? there was no switch to define when his feels for you developed to more than just friends. only a heavy beating in his heart when he was around you. only a feeling of airiness in his chest when he spoke to you.

"what happened today?" alhaitham asked calmly, being the complete opposite to your frazzled antics while describing your hectic day. to help you relax, he began to rub his hands up and down your thigh. you melted into his touch instantly, letting out a deep breath.

"oh you know. the usual research fraud. wasn't even that bad actually. he was probably going to get like, what, two months of suspension and eight months of community service? better fate than most. but instead of surrendering, he chose to run all the way from sumeru city to gandharva ville!" you ranted, throwing your hands in the air to indicate your frustrations. "and he even tried to hide. from the matra. from me! like, you're cornered like a deer here, might as well surrender and make it easier for everyone else."

you rubbed the thigh that didn't occupy alhaitham's hand, "also, i'm sore as hell. all that running from sumeru city to gandharva ville and then all the way back has me spent. i feel like i'm not gonna be able to walk for days."

alhaitham lightly scoffed in response. you were tough, one of the matra's best at that. alhaitham could also think of instances where you couldn't walk, yet pulled through for the next day (ignoring his advice to stay home). however, he wasn't going to comment about that at the moment.

his gaze never left you the entire time. alhaitham was so incredibly focused on your face, studying you and focusing on you like a researcher would, hoping to never let something as brilliant as you go. his eyes traced the movement of your mouth every time you groaned; the way you squeezed your eyes shut when you raved about another frustration; the way your hands moved sporadically through the air.

again, when did go from simply observing you to essentially admiring your every move? and why is it so easy to do so?

"hey," you dragged out the word and poked his cheek. "were you even listening to me? or were you just gawking at me?"

alhaitham is snapped out of his daze, refocusing back on your words. well, he was always focused on your words. just not at this moment. "of course i was listening," alhaitham rolls his eyes teasingly, "if he ran all the way to gandharva ville, maybe he had more to hide. why else would he go through all the trouble? or maybe your face scared him so much he felt he had to run far, far away."

you rolled your eyes, "very funny, acting grand sage. are you trying to get involved in matra business now?"

"quite the contrary," alhaitham countered, "just wanted to get involved in my partner's life. is that a crime?"

"yes," you replied instantaneously. "you'll be arrested now. hope you know that you're getting the life sentence," you grinned, grabbing his wrists and placing them by your hips. you were caged underneath him, smiling wide as ever.

alhaitham finds it hard to not smile back at your antics. most of the time, he tried to keep a stoic composure to keep people away and hide his intentions. but with you, he finds that it all melts away, leaving it only you and him and nothing but bliss.

you were the first to break the silence, "so... were you actually listening to me or were you just making inferences based on what i was saying earlier?" your voice was nothing above a whisper, letting it be known that it was only you and him in the house.

"'course i was listening to you," his voice matched your soft tone, words filled with sincerity and admiration, "how could i not with a voice as sweet as yours?"

and that's when you lose it. you lose it for two reasons: alhaitham was teasing you and you knew that during your entire rant you sounded anything but sweet. malice and exasperation flowed through you as you spoke about today's events. alhaitham was simply pulling your leg, the bastard.

but, that did prove that he was listening. only he would be able to distinct the way your words moved through the air, tainting it with annoyance and irritation. only he would know.

you shoved alhaitham off of you, sending him back to the other side of the couch. "you're disgusting!" you giggled and shoved his shoulder, "i've had enough of you. i'm going to bed," you grabbed a pillow from the couch and shoved your face in it, hoping that alhaitham wouldn't be able to see your blush.

but of course, alhaitham sees through you yet again. "okay. i'll see you soon," he picked up his book and continued to read, knowing that you'd be next to him in a matter of seconds. if you weren't in the matra, you would have had a fulfilling career as a researcher with your curiosity.

"what are you reading?" you rest your head on his shoulder, peering at the pages. you let the pillow that you were holding go, now discarded to the side as you moved towards your boyfriend.

alhaitham closed the book to show you the title, which you read out loud, "remarkably bright creatures. taking a break from nonfiction?" you turned your head to look at him. that feeling alhaitham had in the beginning of your relationship came back, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. no matter how many years you two have been together, alhaitham thinks that he will never be able to shake off the feeling of being in love with you.

"needed to replenish my pallet," he shrugged simply. his vagueness made you even more curiouser, alhaitham's goal in the first place. you could chalk this up to him trying to engage your interests again, but really, alhaitham just wanted your affection. as stupid as it sounds, alhaitham is a man who (at the end of the day) just wants his partner's touch.

you let out a hum and move closer towards him. you had your knees raised up to your chest, reading the words alongside him. your arms were touching, your head almost leaned onto his shoulder.

once you found yourself fascinated enough with the novel, alhaitham took this as his chance to get you closer. he grabbed your waist and pulled you into him, now so close that he could feel the air exhale from your nose. you, too distracted from the words in front of you, didn't seem to pay any mind.

"'as a general rule, i like holes,'" alhaitham began to read from the book, causing you to subvert your gaze towards his face, "'a hole at the top of my tank gives me freedom. but i do not like the hole in her heart. she only has one, not three, like me. tova’s heart. i will do everything i can to help her fill it.'”

"you know," your fingers dance along the bicep that you've curled under, "this octopus reminds me of a certain someone. impassive on the outside, yet he cares about others on the inside."

"comparing me to a sea animal now? i'm surprised you've hit a new low," alhaitham teases you. he accepts your compliment by kissing you on your jaw.

"shut up!" you swat at the same bicep you were just relaxed under, "if i was really comparing you to a sea creature, you'd be a sea lion. cute on the outside, but horrible on the inside," you exaggerated.

alhaitham smirks, "you think i'm cute?"

you immediately notice where you've went wrong. you can't hide your flustered expression from alhaitham this time. you wouldn't be surprised if the bastard planned this. "i also said you were horrible."

"but you also said i was cute," he retorted as if he was boasting.

"emphasis on was. maybe not anymore," you couldn't help but smile at your response.

alhaitham pressed a kiss to your temple, "really? not at all?" he raised an eyebrow as he looked down into your eyes. they say eyes are the window to the soul, and alhaitham is one to think that it is true. he didn't really believe it before he met you, but now, everytime alhaitham looks at you it's as if he can understand everything you're trying to say based on one gaze.

alhaitham was already leaning forward when you decided to kiss him, like he knew that it was coming. cocky, you wanted to think. but you know that's not the truth.

alhaitham knows you so well that it's disgustingly endearing.

hi guys!! sorry i've been away for so long. my writer's block has been so bad and it also doesn't help that i've began my six-week volunteer program as well as other work. i'll try to regulate updates to be asap, but i still dk bc of my crazy schedule. hopefully i'll be able to update more often, but until then!

[away-ward]

Nah fr like idk if I’m remembering this right but aydin barely knew Alex no? Like sir what is this stupid revenge plan of yours lol. Like if you want revenge so bad and you are bored take it on those weird parents of yours . And the way he was calling her “the artist “ and when he said “ she’s a fucking Viking “ I couldn’t stop laughing lmaoo so cringe .

Man, I couldn't agree more!

Anyone can correct me, but as far as I can remember, the story goes:

As a college freshman, Alex and her roommate got along great. Best Friends. So much so, that when the roommate was on a video call with her boyfriend, Aydin, she and Alex started touching each other while he was watching.

Aydin was so taken by Alex that he wouldn't let it go, and eventually the roommate got jealous, took it out on Alex, started rumors about her that ruined her reputation with friends and she somehow lost her scholarship.

Alex transferred to Trinity College and started escorting so that she wouldn't have student debt. Meanwhile, Aydin was trying to stay away from her (at this point, they have never met in person? I think?), and be the good son his father wanted. His father arranged a marriage for him, but he couldn't go through with it. He only wanted Alex. But by the time he was ready to go to her, she'd already saved herself and didn't want him. But she really did. But she wasn't ready to forgive him for abandoning her when his girlfriend was sabotaging her entire life..?

Oh, and he wanted her to stop escorting because that was gross - letting other men touch her (did he forget where he met her? Or was that okay because it was his girlfriend and for his pleasure?). And Alex refused because she wasn't going to let anyone else pay for her way, or let a man tell her what she was going to do (even though her plan was to eventually stop escorting anyway.) She was an fully independent woman who didn't need anyone's help.

I think?

I don't understand their relationship at all. They'd never even met in person before they decided that was the person for them. I mean, even Kai and Banks spent more time together before they got married, and their timeline is insanely short. The whole thing echoes the same idea that was started in Corrupt, which is that Alex has some sort of magnetism that draws people to her, and even though her attitude is in your face all the time, it's impossible to hate her because she's just so warm and delightful. Give me a break; she can't be this perfect.

Aydin planning this whole thing because Alex didn't want him even though he'd never really spent time with her screams pathetic to me. Sir, kindergarteners act more mature than this. And the fact that he was right and Alex wanted him all along, therefore making everything that happened in Nightfall seem worth it. Noooo.

He could have ruined Emory's life, but oh, it's okay because he was so in love with Alex and that's understandable🤩

And don't even get me started on the three pages of Emory just sitting there narrating while horsemen go all out defending Alex, demanding a large wedding and whatever else, for their darling. Meanwhile, she's in the room giggling about how cute he is. Gag. My patience for Alex had long expired by that point, but that was the final nail in the coffin. We just didn't need it, when there was so much between Will and Emory left untouched.

I mean, I'm more relaxed about Alex than most around here, but I really have no patience for Aydin. However, I've said before, that I think his story arc would have been helped if he'd been at least in his thirties during his time in Blackchurch. Not that I would've liked him - just that it would have made more sense. He still sucks either way.

[kirasworldofwords]

I don't think I ever really introduced myself here so here goes!

First of all, hi! My name is Kira, but you may call me Kiki if you'd like. On AO3, I'm known as "chiquita_chequito", I'm often there just lingering and reading or writing, lol. I'm 22 years old, German with Polish roots and live in a small German town where nothing ever really happens, lol. I have many interests, like certain anime and F1 (especially that as of late) and consider myself a decent writer at least. You're free to quote and/or correct me on that though, lol.

A few random facts about me:

✨️ I'm neurodivergent! I have OCD, ADD and Autism paired with hyperesthesia and ARFID (I know, I know... I should pick a struggle, but alas).

✨️ I also happen to be queer - bisexual as well as somewhere on the aro-ace gradient plus bigender, to be exact. My pronouns are they/she, meaning I prefer "they/them" but am also okay with "she/her". Anything but "he/him" and "it/its".

✨️ My hyperfixation has been cars (as in the vehicles, not the movie) ever since I was a baby. After my first two words, "Mama" and "No", my third word was "Car" in German - the fourth was "Skodda", as per my mom's telling. Surprise surprise, I still love Škodas. 😂

✨️ I play in a sort of marching band that we call Schalmeienzug, there's no direct translation though. It's really fun! Been there for five years now and still love it. 🫶🏻

✨️ Don't ask me how or why but for whatever reason, I can get any song I want stuck in someone else's brain. It works every damn time with just about anyone and yes, I am quite shameless about it. If I have to suffer through having Spongebob music stuck in my brain, then so do you. I have spoken.

✨️ My sense of humor is... skewed at best, fucking dark at worst. That's it. I refuse to elaborate.

✨️ In my free time, I also study Finnish. Thanks, Käärijä, lmao.

✨️ And yes, I love Eurovision. As a queer European girlie, that's a must, lol.

✨️ Regarding F1, my favorite drivers of the current grid are Oscar Piastri, Daniel Ricciardo (noooo, I don't have a thing for Aussies, wdym [also RIP, I am not okay, even if he's not a driver anymore, I will always love him]), Nico Hülkenberg and Sergio "Checo" Pérez (Christian Horner, when I catch you). Of the old grid I still somewhat remember (I've been watching F1 since childhood days), my favorites used to be Sebastian Vettel, Kimi Räikkönen and the Nicobergs - aka Nico Rosberg and Nico Hülkenberg. My heart has a special place reserved for Michael Schumacher, though, and it's shaped specifically like his stature. ❤️

✨️ I swear a lot. Like, a lot. I'm not kidding. So... proceed with caution if you're sensitive to that.

✨️ My free time is mainly spent playing video games - I don't have many friends and those I do have don't always have time for me so this is what I revert back to if I don't have somewhere else to be like a performance, lol.

✨️ I drive a black Opel Corsa ecoflex from 2016 and it is my pride and joy. 🫶🏻 Already jokingly told my mom that, if she wants grandkids, she already has one. My car. 😭

✨️ Last but not least, my writing style is quite distinct in the way that I usually write melancholic, if not downright depressing stuff. I guess it's a reflection of my life thus far - again, I will not elaborate.

That should be it from my side for now. If anything else comes into my messy little pea-sized brain, I shall let you know through editing this post - or just completely rewriting it, lmao.

Which means, for now, have a nice one and don't let the bedbugs bite!

- 🍸

[moonsplit]

HIIIIIIIIIIIIII

i was wondering if i could request some fluffy or angsty toh hunter×gn!bard!reader headcannons.

that's the overall request, but if i can get a little specific, i would like if you'd include something about the reader being an actual half witch half human, maybe they get angry/sad because everyone uses the term half-a-witch as if it's something to be ashamed of being.

seeing hunter being so appreciative of willow in for the future made me get back into my hunter brainrot and honestly your fluffy hunter hcs were one of the only good hunter×reader work i could find here, i got SO SAD when i realized that was the only work you had published, so here i am, begging for more.

anyway, thx byeeeeee!

↠ "Half-a-witch, huh?" ↞

* pairing ↠ TOH - Hunter x gn!bard!reader * word count ↠ 881 * tags ↠ fluff, soft angst,

* notes ↠ This is the biggest compliment ever omg!! Thank you anon :D

You had a rough time growing up, hearing everyone use what you were as an insult

"Half-a-witch" this and "half-a-witch" that

It wasn't fun having everyone berate and doubt you for it either

People with better intentions would praise you for basic spells

Things you learned in grade school

Even if it did take you a bit longer to learn, they didn't have to treat you as if your existence was weird and wrong

Joining the bard track at Hexside was a choice you'd never regret, but some days people would get insufferable

As if using an instrument was "easier" than spell circles and didn't take even more training and practice just to get right

But noooo, the only thing easier than the bard track was potions, clearly

Meeting Hunter for the first time was certainly.. an experience

Why was this guy camping out at school?

The Boiling Isles was unique, sure, but as far as you knew there weren't many people living in the hidden areas of school

He stumbled over his introduction before running off, you chasing after him

Through a series of convoluted events, you got wrapped up in everything

It started with Hunter, you bringing him snacks and trying to pry any information from this weirdo you could

But, well, the whole school got covered in illusions

You managed to run into him and Gus, the three of you joining forces

Music was useful after all, while Gus could see through the illusion, you could use what was essentially echolocation

The panic attack he had.. wait-

He was the freaking golden guard??

Okay, okay, more important things to think about

But still, pretty important revelation that you're definitely gonna ask about later

And.. the day of unity? It was a sham?

You learned so much in the past day it was hard to digest

You went home, sulking into the familiarity of your bed

And the next day, or, next few days- leading up to the day, you joined the CATS, and their plans-

You were too deep, even if you didn't want to help, which you did, you also probably had a target on your back from being seen with Hunter

When the day came, you were shaken to your core

Everything was happening so fast, so many people to their knees-

Not to mention you were in the freaking human realm

You had been told by your mom that she managed to wander through a door, getting trapped in the demon realm

So you'd only ever heard stories of rain that was cold, the lack of magic..

You had always wanted to see it, your other parent had too- but the two of you only ever got stories from your mom

The victory of it was overshadowed by the fear

Everyone was badly injured, only one of you had been here before, and oh yeah, let's not forget to mention, you had no way of knowing what happened after you left!

It was high tensions for everyone

You spent the months growing close to the group, particularly Hunter

He was the first person you had made your friend, it was only natural you gravitated towards him

You ended up spilling your life's story to him, just a smidge

He listened as you told him about your parents, a brief complaint about "half-a-witch" sending him into a rant

"That insult is stupid, you have some of the most unique bard magic I've seen despite being half human! Luz beat me in a duel with her glyphs, and she's not even half witch, Willow's plant magic is seriously powerful, even-"

He cut himself off, faltering and putting his hands back in his lap. "Sorry."

He shook his head, when you tried to get him to keep going. Well, that was alright- baby steps, I guess.

"You think my technique is unique?"

"It's similar to old wild magic, your spell circles- were they plant or construction? They could both be useful with bard magic now that I think about it..." he trailed off, mumbling as he tried to work it out in his head.

"You saw those? I thought I was subtle! They were so tiny too,"

"It's my job to be observant, I'm the Golden Gua-"

It went silent

Hunter fiddled with his hands and shirt.

You put a hand over his own, causing him to flinch harder than you had seen someone flinch before and push your hand away

"It's okay, it takes time."

"How long is this going to go on? I can't take it."

Neither of you had an answer, of course.

Sure, you guys were safe- relatively, at least

But you couldn't stay in the human realm with no way back

And neither of you had gone through what Hunter was going through

You didn't even know the full extent of it

You spoke up after a few moments of pure silence, save for breathing

"I don't know, but I'll stay by your side. If you'll let me."

"I think I'd like that. Is that weird? That feels weird?"

"Nah, I think Luz made a bet on it though."

"A bet on what?"

You shrugged. "Who knows? It's Luz."

If you could capture the snicker that came from him for eternity, you would.

[plounce]

continuing to play stormblood. i have really enjoyed running around the azim steppe and doing all the people’s errands, chatting with them and learning about them, meeting the lesbian, and im also really in love with traditional mongolian fashion now. however. um. im sure other people have spoken about this. but it really is shocking how much this is basically a racist fantasy novel trope. hien is the Chosen Prince who goes to another country, adopts himself into a Downtrodden And Meek Clan, and then leads that clan to victory against the Violent Mean Clans so he can take control of their warriors by right of THEIR traditions and take them to his homeland to further his own political ends. AND YOU HAVE TO HELP HIM DO THIS! right after the naadam when the game has you /victorypose to the mol warriors and they all go YAAAAAAAY YOURE OUR KHATUN!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!! i was just like. AUUUUUGH NOOOO. I DON’T WANT THIS

there are so many other ways to do this... even little tiny tweaks so it isn’t so outrageous. you could convince each clan using diplomacy or diplomatic duels to lend their aid to the anti-imperial cause! you could aid the mol and guard cirina as she claims the ovoo! hell, this isn’t perfect, but what if hien had spent most of his life living on the steppe instead of like... six months?

that last one ties back to one of my other major discomforts with stormblood: lyse. there’s the biggest glaringest obviousest problem of her being the only white/blonde/blue-eyed ala mhigan, but also the fact that she’s our npc viewpoint on the ala mhigan struggle... but she has very few concrete connections to ala mhigo and has never actually lived there (if i’m remembering right - yda took her to live in sharlayan at age 5?). and a lot of the time, she’s our audience surrogate for getting Explained colonial oppression by somebody else in a resistance group after she blusters about “i don’t get it!! why don’t they fight back!!!” . i’m not going to go into the politics of diaspora and liberation struggles because that is something that is 1. far out of my lane 2. very very subjective especially wrt Real Life and not Fantasy Allegory. but it’s just an deeply weird and bad-optics character (very White Savior optics) and storyline. i’m sure other people have written much more coherently and in-depth-ly about the problems with lyse, so i won’t go too much into it here.

lyse and hien are two foils to each other within the text - the Chosen One who must Return To Lead the Liberation of Their Oppressed Homeland after spending time in other nations doing other work. and what’s really strange is that their character backstories would work better if they were switched. hien as the young man who spent most of his life as a warrior of the steppe; he literally says he doesn’t remember a free doma, because he was literally a fetus when doma was conquered - what if he only has memories from childhood of doma? he lived there when he was a small child, and thus still has an emotional investment in doma, but he also has a place on the azim steppe. and lyse as a recent refugee from ala mhigo - her sister rescuing her from some kind of major peril and bringing her to sharlayan or eorzea, leading to her involvement with the scions. the ala mhigan resistance seems much more active and current at the start of stormblood than the doman liberation front: it makes sense to have a character who just came from there be paired with it, and for the relatively more quelled DLF to be trying to bring in their long-lost prince as a last-ditch effort to rally the people before a figurehead after his father was killed in their last rebellion.

obviously any story that borrows so much allegorically from real political struggles is going to have some snarls and problems upon which to think critically. especially when that story is created by a team from a country that has been an imperial and colonial aggressor (as well as been subject to imperial powers itself).

it’s most keenly deeply uncomfortable (to put it lightly) when so much of xaela culture in FFXIV is borrowed from real mongolian cultures. the naadam is a real thing, but it’s not a Glorious Battle To See Who Rules The Steppe, it’s a traditional athletic/training festival. an ovoo is a real type of shrine/altar used in mongolian folk religion. the wikipedia page is right here. the azim steppe is not painted in a wholly negative light, and as always the sidequests give you a lot of sympathy and texture to the people in the area, but the borrowing from real mongolian culture is... well: imperial japan literally tried to seize mongolian religious relics when it was occupying china! this is not a clean slate that squeenix is working on.

stormblood gives you a lot to think about, and a lot of it isn’t good. it’s a story about resisting imperialism and how to go about doing that, which is bound to get people thinking and arguing. ffxiv is certainly a more politically incisive story about imperialism than star wars and many other pieces of genre fiction, but it’s also far from the most leftist story in the world. there are other problems within the game’s politics as of stormblood: most glaringly, the “beast tribes” (i am looking forward to that improving as ive heard it does in later expansions).

i’m obviously far from the best person to talk about this subject (white american), which is why i’m giving a stream-of-consciousness mini-essay on my personal tumblr blog, rather than publishing a book/article or otherwise getting paid to speak on this, or inserting myself where i shouldn’t be. but i do think that it’s not a bad thing for anyone playing ffxiv to think about stuff like this, so i am putting on my critical thinking cap and posting about it. as one does on their personal blog.

UPDATING EDIT SECTION: went out googling for more informed takes on this and here’s an article that talks about the problems with the azim steppe storyline way more incisively than my natural rhetoric.

[gachagon]

Yeah... Marrow is the least controversial of the Ace Ops on account of being the only one to turn against Ironwood when it had become clear that he was more concerned with "winning" than saving Atlas.

But a lot of people (myself included) feel that the Ace Ops' sudden last-second redemption in the final episodes of the Volume (Harriet's especially) came out of nowhere. Like, Harriet especially felt to be in poor taste to me, given the whole "cops can get away with murder as long as they have the right friends" thing in the real world, thus making Harriet being able to get away with trying to nuke a city by accepting friendship with the other Ace Ops more INSULTING than inspiring.

(Seriously, they should've either had her sacrifice herself to fly the Nuke away from Mantle or just had Watts remotely hijack the nuke instead of having Harriet attempt genocide out of spite, and most of the issues with her arc would be resolved. Like this wouldn't have resolved any of the issues with the Ace Ops bodyshaming and dehumanizing Penny and then never having to confront their biases because they turned Penny human and then immediately killed her off, but at least Harriet wouldn't be getting off scott free for a literal war crime because she shed some crocodile tears.)

I really feel like the Ace-Op's are my only real criticism of the story so far just because they've done too much that's just irredeemable and the show never spent enough time really talking about how fucked up it was that they were willing to just kill a bunch of innocent civilians for seemingly no reason, because at that point there really WAS no reason to murk Mantle. Salem had already arrived, she was already at their doorstep, and the people of Mantle were evacuating without his help. If Ironwood really didn't care to save mantle, why waste a bomb trying to get rid of it? Really just to spite them. He wasn't thinking clearly at all and seemed to think for some stupid reason that killing everyone in Mantle would make RWBY work with him, when I can just see that making them even more upset with him.

And I don't really like what they did with Clover just because he's such a new character not just to us, but to Qrow as well. I think it'd have been better if Clover was different from the other Ace-ops like maybe he was from Beacon like Qrow and that could give them some kind of connection, and make us think Clover would've been different from the rest of them. As it stands though, their whole confrontation just seems to be too stupid and silly. Because Clover dies so early, we don't really see him do anything that makes us think he's a good person.

In fact, after he dies his teammates prove to just be even worse then what we imagined. Every time they were like "Noooo Clover was better then all of us :(" I kept thinking Was he? Lol he tried to arrest Qrow for no real reason, and got himself killed by a serial killer. Sure Qrow blames himself for working alongside Tyrian in that moment, but knowing what we know now about the Ace-ops and how they were willing to legitimately genocide all of Mantle to fuel Ironwoods ego and fear........maybe getting rid of Clover was good luck on Qrow's part, but he is too lovey dovey and sad to understand that right now.

[honey-beann]

I'm so in love with ur Ruiner, Ruination fic omg ヽ(o´3`o)ﾉ i love how you actually put a case inside so it felt like i was solving the case with him... love when i have to actually use my brain sometimes. And gwyneth girly noooo.. rlly love how the way she asked reader abt connor before the thing happened :-(. sorry if this sounds like a Canvas discussion post I just rlly rlly love ur fic hahaha.

Also love the aesthetic posts u reblogged :3

Omg thank you so much for all of your kind words, and no worries about this sounding like a canvas discussion post lol, it totally doesn't!

Also, I'm super glad to hear you enjoyed the case-based chapters of the series so far! I definitely spent a decent chunk of time planning that whole thing out (I'm more of an illogical thinker than I am a logical/sensical one, so trust me, my brain was in sport mode trying to think up an interesting case that would make sense lmao) , so it makes me really happy to hear that it felt like the two of you were actually solving the case together like I intended :)

I also am super surprised at how many people liked the little detail about Gwyneth mentioning Connor! I was worried it would come across as a random, so it really makes me happy to know that I was able to properly convey the idea that he was a hero to her the same way that human revolutionists are heroes to those they help revolutionize!

And thank you for appreciating the aesthetic reblogs :) I try to collect the things that inspire me and have them in queue so people can see some of the ideas, factors, and imagery that may drive the stories I write forward in the future! I thought it would be a cool way to show people what might be coming up fic wise without writing out a bunch of posts about ideas, excerpts, etc.

Anyways, this is a long ass response, so I'm sorry for the word vomit, but I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know all of your thoughts! It really made my day when I read all of your kind words, and I just wanted to acknowledge how amazing it is when writers get feedback like this.

People like you are what keep us writers writing even when we don't get a ton of engagement, so thank you for helping keep the inspiration and drive alive! <3

[mt07131]

I mixed up my ask games and @grapecaseschoices meant this one for all my girlies so let's try this again Properly

Is your Tav Baldurian? If yes, did they grow up in Baldur’s Gate? If no, where are they from?

Xuna: She is now. She grew up in Menzoberranzan, but she has not been back in years and frankly never plans to so as far as she cares, she’s Baldurian now. Solanine: She is. Baldur’s Gate is the heart of the temple of Bhaal so even if she doesn’t remember it, she is. Ardanthe: She considers herself Baldurian. Her enclave was just outside of the city but she spent a decent amount of time in the city growing up. Artemisia: Born and bred baby. The streets of Baldur’s Gate are as familiar to her as the back of her own hand. Lethe: Similar to Solanine, she is, even if she doesn’t necessarily recall it.

4. Is your Tav close with whoever raised them? Xuna: HA. No, absolutely not. Also “raised” is a strong word for what Xuna’s mother did, “tolerated” would be a better fit. Solanine: No. She also doesn’t remember them and uhhhh killed them in baby’s first murder spree so it’s no skin off her back. Ardanthe: Yes, absolutely. Her parents were her first support system and continue to be so, and the same goes for the rest of her enclave. Artemisia: She wasn’t necessarily close with her parents when they were alive, but they’re dead now. Lethe: She was, it was the first taste of what being in a family was like. Now they’re all just phantoms to her mind and old bloodstains on her hands.

5. Is your Tav religious? Were they raised that way? Xuna: Noooo no no no absolutely not. She sees no sense in worshipping any gods when they (supposedly) deemed her cursed right out of the womb. She was raised to worship Lolth but uh, she did not agree or comply. Solanine: Technically, yes. Everything she does is to please daddy dearest and he’s a god so yeah. Ardanthe: Not particularly. She doesn’t worship any gods in specific, if she were to worship anything it would be nature as a force rather than One Specific Deity. Artemisia: Nah, she couldn’t care less about the gods. Doubly so once she and Gale start smooching. Lethe: She never saw herself as particularly religious, and after finding out who is she, she wants nothing to do with anything divine if she can help it.

11. Did your Tav know or know of any of the other characters? Xuna: Nope, they were all strangers to her. Solanine: Obviously she knew the Chosen (close to Gortash in particular wink wink), and I like to think she knew of Karlach in passing because of her connection to Gortash but other than that, no. Ardanthe: She definitely knew of Halsin and Jaheria by reputation, druid to druids y’know. I think she would also know of Wyll, but nothing substantial enough to say she knew him. Artemisia: She had no idea who any of these people were. Lethe: As with Solanine, she knew the Chosen but beyond that she wouldn’t have heard of anyone else.

21. What kind of education did your Tav have? Xuna: The best that money could buy in Menzoberranzan. As long as it kept her quiet and out of sight. Solanine: Nothing formal, most of her education was in the art of killing once she was taken to the Bhaalists. Ardanthe: She learned mainly from just watching the other druids, eventually getting into leatherwork with an apprenticeship. Artemisia: She didn’t have the means for anything formal, everything was learned by doing on the streets. Lethe: She doesn’t recall, but her foster family did try to teach her the basics. Shame she ended up killing them in a bloodthirsty haze.

[televinita]

All The Songs Make Sense

I am regularly sad that Tumblr doesn't have access to this post, because it's one of my favorite things I wrote during my first go-round with Doctor Who/while processing my feelings about Journey's End, so I am transplanting it here. Which I've thought about doing at least twice before, but I don't think I actually ever did, so here goes nothing.

CONTEXT: I had my music library on shuffle, and 3 songs in a row were either explicitly written about the Doctor/Rose or on my ship playlist for them, and so I said...

Wait, wait, I HAVE A NEW GAME.  For the next 20 songs, I will magically relate lyrics to Doctor/Rose. I was this close to turning this game into the fic meme [where you write a tiny story related to/inspired by the song], but since I've never even tried to write Doctor Who fic, it would all pretty much come out sounding the same: me frustratingly working out my issues with Journey's End in terrible, thinly-veiled third person POV.  So instead we'll just pluck out lyrics and comment on them, as I do.

And so this was born, bringing into existence lyrical associations that, in some cases at least, persist to this day.

1. Blackbird - Evan Rachel Wood You were only waiting for this moment to arrive

(cue "Rose's Theme" and an otherwise-empty street)

OR

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

(broken wings, a phrase here meaning Ten II and/or her suddenly clipped joy)

2. I Will Show You Love - Kendall Payne

Well that's just too easy:

Watch your dreams like falling stars, heartache made you who you are

3. In This Life - Delta Goodrem I have faltered, I have stumbled, I have found my feet again I've been angry and I've been shaken, found a new place to begin I think that works pretty well for Rose in Pete's World

4. Do You Want to Play? - Jewel (A CHALLENGE, SIR?)

Don't ever give away what you can't take back

Which sort of implies that Rose is an object, but WHATEVER.  He essentially handed her off - gave her away - and now the next time the universes magically break down and they're reunited, it'll be too late.

5. Taxi Ride - Tori Amos (ohoho!  You think you're gonna throw me for a loop?) We've all been pushed too far today

Almost anywhere in the two parts of the finale, really.

6. Hard Candy - Counting Crows

All the regrets you can't forget Are somehow pressed upon a picture In the face of such an ordinary girl This is where I really wish I was doing the fic meme...not that I actually have an idea, but, you know.  I have a mental picture within the TARDIS. 

7. Larger Than Life - Backstreet Boys

All of our time spent in flashes of light

YOU THOUGHT I COULDN'T DO IT.  BUT I DID.

8. Awake - Josh Groban (oh, I see we're back to the easy ones) We can't stay like this forever But I have you here today

9. Dignity - Hilary Duff Curses!  The game has defeated me.  This round. (unless we go meta and relate it to my lack of dignity in posting this) [let alone re-posting it]

10. Emily - Jewel One moment here, then gone With no forwarding address

Hard to pass mail between parallel worlds.

11. Ooh Oh - Keri Noble (ooh, oh, challenge?) What if I want you just to walk away From all the pain we have both been through?

*tilts head*  I mean, isn't that what he asks in the end?  Essentially? 

12. What Child is This - Josh Groban *rolls eyes*  Way to make it impossible on the very next selection.  See, in the fic meme, I could have set something during one of the Christmas specials.  But noooo, I had to be lazy. 13. Wait for You - Elliot Yamin (Oh, hell yes.  Just watch me.) Rose -> Doctor You're still in love with me Don't leave me crying

Doctor 2 -> Rose Why can't we just start over again, get it back to the way it was? If you give me a chance, I can love you right 14. Goodnight and Go - Imogen Heap

We'll have drinks and talk about things Any excuse to stay awake with you

The chorus would work beautifully for Martha, but this is about as good as I can get for Doctor/Rose. Still, not terrible; better than nothing.

15. A New Day Has Come - Celine Dion Televinita forfeits this round on the grounds that the song mocks and taunts her and sinks her further into the pit of despair.

16. Telling Stories -- Tracy Chapman Sometimes a lie is the best thing

Lie, a noun illustrated in both the sentence "and I'm him," and Rose's kiss.

17. Stay - Beth Hart When I was young, just a little girl I'd sing to the sun & dream with the world Now I got a suitcase full of memories ...I don't know; is a slight stretch.  I again wish I was doing the fic meme.  Little Rose would be delightful.

18. Still Standing - The Rasmus Wish I could have you by my side Tonight when the sky is burning Think I am going to Turn Left places with this one...

19. What Goes Around Comes Around - Justin Timberlake (BWAHAHA!  And yet:) Don't want to think about it Don't want to talk about it I'm just so sick about it Can't believe it's ending this way Sorry, that's my reaction to Doctor Who.  Here's the Doctor/Rose bit:

Is this the way it's really going down? Is this how we say goodbye? See, it's slightly different!

20. Buildings - Regina (slightly edited for repetition) She would ask for time And she would beg for time And he would give her time But time is not given and time is not taken Which clearly sums it up. 

Also, haha, WAY TO SIGNAL THAT THE GAME IS OVER, LIBRARY ("Doomsday").

...my music library and I have a special relationship.  Be quiet. 

And finally, just because I really want to share what sparked the game off...

Goodbyes - Jess Anderson Is it so wrong to want to stay now that I've found you?

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 67

Metamorphosis/Daleks In Manhattan

“Metamorphosis”

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I would legitimately never be in this situation, so sure

ooooooo now we get to find out all the things Sam’s been up to…and so does Dean…

This is only slightly more awkward and strained than the McElroys’ “don’t do a hit” PSA. Maybe both of these are signs to separate business and family

This show’s so fucking weird. They spent the first three seasons either ignoring the existence of a god or just flat out not believing in one, but now…NOW god does not want Sam to be doing what he’s doing

Whatever is happening to this man is really difficult to take while I’m eating lunch and having the sound pumped directly into my ears. It’s like bones cracking or even breaking. Eugh

I forgot Dean didn’t know Sam knew about the demon blood……it’s getting FAR more awkward than “don’t do a hit.”

Ew. Dude, is that RAW MEAT??? I hate watching this on my lunch. It’s always the WORST episodes…

They really use the most thinly veiled metaphors to parallel whatever conflict is going on between Sam and Dean, like, one sheet of saran wrap thin

I miss the days when they’d pull off to the side of the road to have nice little heart to hearts not yelling “I’VE GOT DEMON BLOOD IN ME, DEAN!!”

How long after hearing the phrase “long pig” did Dean start to come up with alternatives like “manburger helper”?

It’s not funny to have two men in their mid to late twenties carrying makeshift flame throwers break down your door, but hearing “we’re here to save you…I guess” and “we should leave” “yeah” almost immediately after kinda is. It’s only funny because the audience knows Sam and Dean

Aw, fuck. The other hunter’s gotten involved now…noooo, is this guy’s wife pregnant??? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…

It’s the gross, wet sounds of this dude LITERALLY feasting on this hunter for me…can’t blame the wife for running away screaming after watching that

The boys showing up 15 minutes late with Starbucks…ooooo, a floor fit for a children’s hospital (how many times will this show give me the opportunity to use that joke??)

Well, that COULD have been a nice moment for Dean to reassure Sam if Jack hadn't attacked.

I’ll have to find it (maybe) but I once read a post about how Sam’s storyline in these first seasons especially tells a very queer coded story, and this episode really really hits you in the face with it. Like, yes, bi Dean and whatever…but there IS something to the heartache that Sam feels being othered to his own family by this thing he had no control over. This wasn’t his choice. It’s really resonant when Sam makes the decision to stop using his psychic powers because they made Dean uncomfy...Dean who has used "god doesn't want you doing this" but also only very recently started MAYBE believing there's a god? Sam think Dean believes he's a freak and less than human or at least other than human, sometimes saying that he's getting closer and closer to the things they hunt instead. I just...I see it.

“Been On My Mind…”: I think I’m gonna do a countdown…if in 10 episodes’ time I haven’t had a yes? I’m discontinuing this segment

"Daleks In Manhattan"

Lazlo should watch Supernatural. Then he wouldn't have gone investigating that weird noise and not gotten turned into a strange pig hybrid

I have a terrible feeling this is one of those two part episodes based solely on the fact that I'm struggling to say anything about this one. The Doctor and Martha are in 1930 NYC, and we're getting a lot of character introductions: the people and specifically the leader of Hooverville, the workers at the Empire State Building, the theater workers (performers and backstage), but nothing's really HAPPENING yet. Though, we're about to get our first glimpse of the Daleks, so that's something at least

There are so many times I'm glad I accidentally fucked up the scheduling and missed an episode of spn because having to hear the term "long pig" all during my lunch and now having these human/pig hybrids has mad that incredibly worth it, and there have been so many other small things that have lined up

Awww baby Andrew Garfield. He's precious, lookin' out for Martha

Somehow I think this foreman trying to get the Empire State Building built for the Daleks is gonna get either killed or turned into something at least close to a Dalek...either way, it's not what he thinks he's gonna get

Nooo, poor baby Andrew Garfield.

oh. that's equal parts terrifying and terrible...the guy who was getting "rewarded" by the Daleks just got...absorbed?? by one? And the CGI!!! Simply atrocious (affectionate)!!!

The showgirl did NOT sign up for all this...well, she's signing up for it NOW, I guess

I can't take this seriously...this is one of the weirdest story lines they've done and......the costuming...again, atrocious (affectionate) The guy who got combined with a Dalek? it looks so bad...

[astaroth1357]

Brothers Accidentally Make the MC Cry

Hello, this is the obligatory italics blurb that I have to put under my titles or else things look weird and it bothers me. Don’t mind the blurb. The blurb is a friend. (Though I could start writing pieces of a little story up here just to see if anyone even reads them… Hm…. Ideas, ideas...)

Warning: Angsty

Lucifer 

If he were being honest, he’d say that a part of him had always feared this would happen...

Lucifer likes to tell himself that he’s invincible, but everyday stresses can get to him just like anybody else. And like other people, he may not always act his best when he’s dealing with a full plate…

The MC hadn’t meant to make his day harder when they told him that they accidentally broke a lamp. It was a genuine accident! But Lucifer was still dealing with the fallout from another one of Mammon’s failed schemes, Satan had cursed all of his ties again, and Beel had eaten every scrap of food in the House… for the second time that week...

In comparison to everything else, a broken lamp was quite minor, but for Lucifer it was just the last straw and, for just a moment, he lost control…

His palm slamming against his desk hard enough to snap its legs and send it crashing to the ground. He scarcely knew what kind of look he had on his face, but whatever it was, he had made his human jump back in shock...

Really, it was silly for them to assume that he had gotten that upset over a lamp, but he saw tears starting to gather in their eyes all the same as they stammered out a quiet apology… 

It felt like an ice spike to the heart. Damn his temper… He really ought to have been more careful with them after… well, everything he’d done before…

He was quick to go over to them, catching their face with his hand and giving them the most sincere apology he could muster while wiping away their tears… Overreactions aren’t becoming of him and he hated to cause them pain… 

He, of course, took care of the lamp himself as penance and on the surface that seemed to be it (but to anyone paying attention, he had softened up on the MC considerably for at least a week. They probably could have sworn in front of Diavolo and he’d let it slide, he felt that bad about it...)

“I’m sorry, MC, I shouldn't have reacted like that… You haven’t done anything wrong, I promise… Please, there’s no need to cry…”

Mammon

Oh? What's that? His heart is now in a million pieces now...? Well, that seems fair…

He and the MC were out on one of his gambling nights and he was actually on a killer winning streak for once! Jackpots around every corner, he was rolling in it!

The MC had tried to convince him to just throw in the towel early, take his winnings while he had them and bail, but he wasn’t hearing any of it.

In hindsight, their insistence must have really shown how much the MC cared about him and wanted him to keep his earnings... but in the heat of the moment all he saw was someone trying to spoil his one night of fun.

To be fair to Mammon, it’s rather rare for him to lose control of his anger like he did. But when they tried to pull him away from the roulette table, he genuinely snarled at them and told them to get lost...!

Fortunately, he regretted his actions immediately after he saw the hurt in their eyes…

If their goal had been to get him to step away from the table, they achieved it. But only because he got up to pull them into a hug while stammering out apologies… Watching them actually shed tears hurt worse than any rope Lucifer had ever tied around him...

He spent the rest of the night away from the casino and trying to cheer up his human like his life depended on it... Seeing them in pain just tore him up that much.

"Ah, come on MC… I'm sorry, honest…! Please don't look at me like that, I'll do whatever ya want okay...? Just no more cryin…"

Leviathan 

Now thinks he's the worst, literally the worst. Lower than lesser demon spit. Lower than Cerberus' shit. Lower than… well, you get the idea…

Levi can get very… intense when things involving his passions are brought up. This can be a fairly endearing quality… but it also means he gets disproportionately impassioned about seemingly minor things.

Levi ended up snapping at the MC when they let him over-sleep one day. This wasn’t unusual for them to do as Levi’s sleep schedule was notoriously shitty, but they shouldn't have done it that particular day…

An item he wanted on Akuzon was going to go live that morning and he had to be awake to participate in the bidding. He had mentioned it to the MC the day before, but he blew past it so quickly they didn’t actually remember…

He found out that he missed the bidding after he woke up and he was pissed. Genuinely enraged that they didn’t remember to wake him up to the point that he was shouting and baring his fangs! 

… Really it was not a good look and he should have known better.

The look of fear and the tears gathering in the MC’s eyes snapped him out of it like a hard slap to the face, and somehow, it stung even more than that would’ve... It wasn’t long before he was crying along with them, practically begging for forgiveness...

He made it up to them by having a private showing of their favorite movie using a projector in the Planetarium, cuddling with them under a blanket while still, occasionally, muttering apologies under his breath.

“M-MC…? MC don’t cry…!! Please don’t cry, I- I’m sorry!! I… MC… I’m so sorry…”

Satan

Like Lucifer, he always worried this would happen and he hated when it finally came to pass…

He’d spent all his life learning how to restrain his temper, but it’s not a perfect science. There are the occasional times where the heat of the moment gets the better of him and he does something he regrets…

The MC had walked in on him one morning while he was fuming about Beel leaving the fridge empty again. It hadn’t been the first time they’d seen him like this, but this time he was absolutely furious.

He had told Beel again and again and again to get his snacking under control or to, you know, get up early and get more food so the whole family wouldn’t spend the morning starving but noooo! Mr. I’m Hungry never thinks about anything but his own stomach and then leaves whoever’s on kitchen duty to pick up the slack like some dimwitted muscle-bound meathead and THEN-!!

When the MC tried to take his arm to calm him down, he jerked their hand away from him and roared right in their face. He may not be a lion, but the full sound of a pissed off demon could make humans have breakdowns all on its own…

Which was more or less what the MC began to do as he gripped their wrist, panicking while taking shallow, stuttered breaths…

Satan's anger left him swiftly and he let them go, only reaching out to touch them again when he tried to wipe the tears from their cheeks… He had to coo and beg for them to calm down, which was only so successful because he was fighting back tears himself… 

On a scale of 1-10 of the worse things his temper has ever done, he'd rank this a firm 200... He refused to touch them for about a week afterwards and it took a long time for him to trust himself again… He just didn't want to hurt them...

"MC?? MC…? M… Oh no… MC, I'm so sorry, I would never hurt you! I… I wouldn't dare… please believe me..."

Asmodeus 

Oh baby! Sweetheart! Love of his life!! No, please no… don't subject him to this…

MC and Asmo were out dancing and some witch came by to try and flatter him.

Now, Asmo is a flirt normally, but get a few drinks in him and well… Let's just say his love of attention overrides his better judgment far more often than it should and friends don't let friends go home with creepy witches.

When the MC told the witch to scram, Asmo was confused and, frankly, quite irritated. That lovely lady had been stroking his ego in all the right ways and his human just scared her off so rudely!

Under most situations, Asmo would have kept his cool better but the haze of Demonus made his tongue loose... which let the venom fly…

He couldn’t quite remember what he said. The words left his mouth so quickly that they slurred together on his clumsy tongue, but it must have been enough because the MC flinched away from him.

That hurt all on its own, but as he started to process the pain in their eyes… he had never sobered up so fast...

He had their cheeks cupped in his hands and were kissing away their tears within the instant. Though the loud music at the club should have drowned out his apologies, the MC could see it written all over his equally tearful face…

He pulled them into his arms and then out of the club shortly after, the fog of Demonus that plagued him just moments before had long left him and all he knew was that the MC needed to be brought home and cuddled… stat.

“M-MC…? I’m sorry was it something… did I…? I’m so sorry… Please don’t cry…!”

Beelzebub 

He really didn't mean to shout so loud… honest... 

Beel becomes a completely different person when he’s hungry. He’s not entirely to blame, as his hunger can get so intense, but he still can snap from time to time when he really doesn’t mean to…

It was right after one of his practices and Beel hadn’t gotten a chance to eat in a few hours by the time the MC came to grab him from RAD. That already had him in a bad mood, but practice hadn’t gone too well for him either… 

He honestly didn’t realize how sharply he snapped at the MC when they asked him how he was. The irritation and frustration of the day all hit him at once and he became much harsher towards them than he ever intended…

It must have been the shock of seeing ever-sweet Beel suddenly get so aggressive with them that startled them so. He saw a couple tears gathering in their eyes before they could hide them and his heart just sank…

The MC was picked up in a crushing bear hug before they even let out their first sniffle. Beel didn’t even have to say how sorry he was, they could feel it in every squeeze he gave them. All while he completely ignored the growling of his stomach...

Beel wouldn’t let them go until he was certain they’d forgiven him which, honestly, took a while. Mammon was the one to ask why he had carried them all the way back to the House like a baby but… well, he didn’t need to know, now did he?

“MC, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have shouted… Are you alright...?”

Belphegor 

Stubborn boi is stubborn and trying really, really hard not to crack right now...

That's not going to last long.

Belphie can be a bit of a brat and since he's the baby of the family so he's used to getting his way. He and the MC don't argue a ton, but when they do, he always digs his heels in and refuses to budge an inch on anything.

So what started out as a simple disagreement on how often Belphie would flake out on his chores turned into a kick-the-door-down argument over how much his laziness left the MC to pick up the slack...

It ended as all their barn burning arguments do, with demon-form Belphie sitting cross-legged on his bed refusing to look at them and the MC angrily pacing about the room until he cools off…

And then he heard it.

First a sniffle… and then a hiccup. Another sniffle then muffled whine…

Oh no… not this… Why are they crying…? They don't normally cry…

To his credit (or perhaps discredit), he managed to hold out for about two minutes before he finally glanced back at them. Seeing the MC wiping their tears all alone on the floor crumbled his resolve real quick.

The MC found themselves enveloped by Belphie's arms before they even noticed he got up. Naturally, he was pouting and trying to make it seem like "not a big deal or anything" but they could tell by the nervous twitch of his tail that he was hurting too…

Needless to say. Belphie started remembering his chores a lot more after that.

"Humans are so fragile… I didn't mean to make you cry, you know? I'll get things done just… Don't cry… please…"

[luckydragon10]

P&P Chapters 32, 33, 34

(Chapters 29, 30, 31)

Score check:

Mr. Darcy returns! And the man learned to flirt. Now at -5.

And Lizzy rose to +25 for being ballsy.

~~~

Chapter 32

...when she was startled by a ring at the door, the certain signal of a visitor.

Okay, this is a bit silly. Yes, doorbells mean visitors.

Mr. Darcy: “It is a proof of your own attachment to Hertfordshire. Anything beyond the very neighbourhood of Longbourn, I suppose, would appear far.”

You were doing so well last time. Are you only allowed the ability to flirt once a year, Mr. Darcy? Hopeless. Boy has such a case of the awkward.

But why Mr. Darcy came so often to the Parsonage, it was more difficult to understand.

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU, DUDE. It's no wonder Lizzy isn't catching on.

Colonel Fitzwilliam’s occasionally laughing at his stupidity, proved that he was generally different, which her own knowledge of him could not have told her; and as she would liked to have believed this change the effect of love, and the object of that love her friend Eliza, she set herself seriously to work to find it out. 

Is Darcy so tongue-tied in love that he can't figure out what to do with himself? I can't even justify taking points off. He's too pathetic for that.

~~~

Chapter 33

Oh wow, more of Darcy trying so hard to flirt. This is a train wreck. Someone help this man. I can barely watch.

Lizzy: “Do you certainly leave Kent on Saturday?” said she. Fitz: “Yes—if Darcy does not put it off again...."

OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUZZY PEACHES. Is the reason why everybody loves Darcy the fact that he's the ORIGINAL pathetic blorbo? Is that it?

My dude has spent all this time trying to get her attention, delaying his departure, and it's not working. Because he is hopeless.

Gossip gossip gossip! Lots of gossip with Fitz.

Well shit. Why do I have a feeling there's a HUGE misunderstanding brewing?

There's definitely a huge misunderstanding brewing.

Honestly, this chapter had ONE purpose and one purpose, and that was to make Lizzy think Darcy got between Jane and Bingley. No other great insights needed here, moving on.

~~~

Chapter 34

When they were gone, Elizabeth, as if intending to exasperate herself as much as possible against Mr. Darcy, chose for her employment the examination of all the letters which Jane had written to her since her being in Kent. 

We do love a good hate read.

Mr. Darcy: “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

Meanwhile, Lizzy:

His sense of her inferiority—of its being a degradation—of the family obstacles which had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.

I SEVERELY regret that this is in summary rather than dialogue.

He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavours, he had found impossible to conquer;

OMG, dude, your love confession is bombing, MAYDAY, MAYDAY.

I gotta do it. I gotta take 5 points off. Bro. You are drowning.

Maybe JUST confess the love and don't rush into a proposal?! Get the mutual love first before jumping in any deeper. OMG, noooo.

Lizzy: "I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly."

I almost feel bad for Mr. Darcy. BUT, "almost" is not "do."

“I have no wish of denying that I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister, or that I rejoice in my success. Towards him I have been kinder than towards myself.”

Wait wait wait. It wasn't a misunderstanding?

Okay, I guess that's another thing I'll be awaiting an explanation for, along with whatever the hell was up with Wicky. (Reminder: I hate spoilers, so shh.)

Mr. Darcy: "Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections?—to congratulate myself on the hope of relations, whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own?”

I'll just be taking another 5 points off, sir.

Lizzy: "...and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.”

That's gonna come back to haunt you.

~~~

That was eventful.

(Chapters 35 and 36)

[meichenxi]

Random reading/listening thoughts, very disorganised

I’ve been noticing that when watching dramas I’ve been reading the subtitles more and more; previously my reading wasn’t anywhere near good enough to do so, and trying to force myself to keep up just meant that I wasn’t listening to vocal clues on clause structure etc that makes listening easier if you’re used to using them. I still find this: if a sentence is made up of words I know well enough but is syntactically complex, it’s far easier to understand listening because you have sufficient cues. 

At some point I noticed that reading the subtitles went from being an actively unhelpful distraction to something which is far more helpful; I now look at the subtitles pretty much constantly, except (ironically) in shows like Nirvana in Fire which - though very difficult - I have spent enough time watching that there are plenty of words I still know much better from listening, and are new enough that reading confuses me when I try to do it at speed (like common words in palace dramas like 留步，恕罪，饶命 that I haven’t really seen anywhere else). I find that in particular fascinating, because in theory you’d think that the greater the number of monosyllabic words, the more difficult listening comprehension would be. But I find that something no-sub (Chinese or English) Nirvana in Fire has really taught me is the ability to make educated guesses and confirm them - within half a second or so - of what character a given word is likely to be. Or rather: you get used to extrapolating from very little information - but with the advantages of relatively slow speech, and very clear diction - what a character could be. I think I’m also far more relaxed about perceived word boundaries and the idea that oh noooo this character only ever goes with this other one - if I hear a character on its own, I’m able to recognise it much quicker than when I started doing this. 

This is hugely helpful for processing compound nouns that you haven’t come across before. An example is the word for prophecy 预言 yu4yan2, literally ‘in-advance speech’ : I heard this and correctly guessed from context what it meant and which characters it was made up of. Once you’ve done that, then when you hear yu4gan3 it’s not hard to guess that means premonition, an ‘in-advance feeling’ 预感 and so on. Or 贪利 - I know 贪, to be greedy for, from 贪嘴 and 利 from 利���. This is obviously something native speakers do all the time, literally the most normal thing, but....I still find it cool! And it’s especially cool to see an improvement in doing that whilst listening not reading. And I definitely, 100%, 20000%, think that being exposed to a significant amount of one-syllable words or new on-the-fly compounds has helped with that. 

ANYWAY. I now look at the subtitles more often than not, but I still can’t read them anywhere near quickly enough to be anything but gentle support for the listening. For a while, however, I thought: perhaps I am overly relying on them? Perhaps I’m relying on them rather than listening even? I have been reading more.  

This afternoon however I have been going through all the HSK5 words on Anki and found something interesting. I haven’t studied anything on the HSK list for over a year, but coming to Korea and concentrating on Korean, I need an easy, low-input way to keep my Chinese vocabulary growing - and since I spend a lot of time watching dramas without subs, that should be enough to keep my passive knowledge growing whilst I’m not focusing on Chinese. Firstly, of the 800 or so HSK5 words I’ve gone through so far to mark whether I know them or not, only about 20 have been completely new. I’ve marked way more than that as needing to be studied - some I didn’t know the characters, some I got the tone wrong, and I’ve been quite strict with myself. (I expected that, but it’s still cool to see since I haven’t been studying HSK for a long time. I’m curious to see how many of the HSK6 words I know.)

BUT. But. Going through the wordlist really put into perspective that...my reading may be improving, but I’m certainly not relying on it over listening whilst watching dramas. In fact it’s still kind of shit lmao. How do I know? Because my biggest mistake with words so far was just that I have no recollection of some of them of literally ever having seen the character at all. Like. 资格 - I know how each individual character is pronounced, so I could figure out that it’s zi1ge2, but....?? Have I literally ever seen that written down?? 

And then some other words I genuinely assumed they were written in a completely different way, but in a kind of subconscious way I have clearly never thought about, because my assumptions make zero sense. Like 亲自 - I always just blithely assumed it was 亲子. That would be?? A noun?? And yet seeing 亲自 I am forcibly reminded that CLEARLY I have literally NEVER seen this word written in my life because I would have realised that my own batshit stupid assumption makes no sense. 

(The most extreme example of this in my own Chinese learning I can think of is 拔 ba2 and 把 ba3 - the latter as in 剑 ba2jian4 ‘to draw a sword’. This is actually a kind of cautionary tale to descriptive linguists lmao: just because something makes sense grammatically does not mean it is correct. Because I obsessively rewatched Hero as a teenager, despite speaking no Chinese, I knew the sentence ‘我只要你拔你的剑!’ meant ‘I just want you to draw your sword!’. [I used to go around dramatically telling myself it in the mirror] When I eventually got to China and heard everybody saying 把把把 in every single sentence, I assumed a) it was the same word as in 拔你的剑, which was the only sentence I knew the meaning of that had something in it that vaguely sounded like ‘ba’, because tones are smooshy and I didn’t even have a dictionary [honestly what the fuck was I doing that year. blame the depression I guess but seriously in retrospect I am surprised I didn’t like. die or something], and b) that it therefore meant ‘grasp’, ‘grab’ - which 把 originally kind of did. Because I was then hearing sentences like 把东西给我 I had no trouble going ‘Oh, ok, that means ‘grab the thing and give it to me’ - and then when I heard more abstract sentences like 把事情说清楚 with my Very Basic knowledge of historical linguistics at the time was like ‘o...k....that seems to have gone from a main verb to being used as an auxiliary that has a more abstract purpose of...’ blah blah blah. Yay for Melissa; she learnt a grammar point by #immersion. Such a clever little girl! And of course the funny point of this story is that the one sentence which clued me into this pattern and helped me understand it....turns out to be using an entirely different verb. It isn’t even 把! Hence the cautionary tale: if I were doing fieldwork and knew that there was a verb 拔 that meant something like ‘to draw, to pull’ and was stupid and didn’t the tone change - I could very easily conclude that this verb was the origin of that particular grammatical structure. It makes complete sense; it follows the classic pattern in historical linguistics / typology of full lexical hand-related verb used with physical motion > used lexically with more abstract concepts > used grammatically > original lexical meaning becomes lost or highly limited > etc. If I wrote that in a grammar not a single person would a question it - but it’s completely wrong. Be careful doing fieldwork, children! It’s a lesson I’m never going to forget!)  

So it seems that even though my reading has improved and I do use reading when watching dramas, there are still certain words - and a lot of them - that I still recognise 100% or 80% from listening. Of course there will be words that are the opposite that I know from books - but still. In daily life, my listening still wins.