#incorrect rogues quotes

[t-bombs]

A Summary of David Singh and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

James Jesse: “Hmmm, we’re not so different, you and I. You have your law practice, and me, I have all these f***ing markers.”

David Singh: "..."

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Riddler: I was reviewing footage from all my hidden cameras and I found something weird when checking yours.

Penguin: What do you mean by mine?

Riddler: Uh? I have a hidden camera in all my friends? Obviously? I also have one in all my enemies and potential enemies, allies, potential allies, employees and interesting people or areas. But don't worry the friends cameras have no colateral damage or dangerous defense mechanism.

Penguin: I can't even...

Harley: Do I have a camera?

Riddler: Of course, darling, yours was the second non-destructive camera I ever made.

Harley: YAY!

Penguin: I'm starting to understand why both of you go to an insane asylum.

Riddler: So you don't want to now about the strange disturbance I found?

Penguin: Of course I do.

Riddler: Great. *picks a whole ass notebook from under his suit jacket and opens a file* Here it goes. Since last saturday this... thing... keeps following you. *zooms in a weird creature*

Penguin: Is that the devil?

Riddler: Probably not. But it is weird and creepy.

Harley: Can I see it? *already turning the notebook to herself to see it* Oh. It's just a bug.

Riddler: EXCUSE ME, I'm an excellent engineer, the best one that is and all my cameras are custom made with great attention to detail. I can assure you there's no bugs in my programming and I do take offense from the insinuation!!! Honestly-

Harley: *laughting* No silly, an actual bug. It looks bigger than it is because it's probably on top of the camera.

Penguin: Oh thank god.

Riddler: How do you even know that for sure?

Harley: Oh I started studying plants to impress Red but plants and bugs have a loot in common... I think... and bugs are cooler ... don't tell Red I said that... So now I'm reading a lot about bugs. This is a panda ant. It's actually cute if misleading. It isn't even a ant really is a wasp but people named it wrong. They are a chilean bug and don't exist in the U.S.

Riddler: Huh? That's still weird. Why is there an importated bug following Oswald around?

Harley: Maybe it just likes him very much.

Riddler: Or maybe it is a badly designed spy bot.

Penguin: Or it just came with the illigal imported chilean birds I rescued for my bird sanctuary.

Harley: Nah. That's dumb.

Riddler: My theory is better.

[fanaticalthings]

Jason Todd with his goons:

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: *wrestling something into a box*

Bruce: What are you doing?

Jason: Making the world a better place, starting with my eBay feedback page.

[later]

The Joker, heavily maimed, writing his review: Instead of office chair, package contained bobcat. Would not buy again.

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Riddler: Riddle me this boy-

Riddler: Batman?

Batman!Dick: Yes?

Riddler: Who the fuck is this?

Batman!Dick: This is Robin.

Riddler: Obviously. But he’s different. He’s all scowly. Where’s the fun one, who likes my riddles?

Batman!Dick: He’s taking some PTO. Can we get on with this?

Riddler: No.

Batman!Dick: What? Why not!

Riddler: Well I would but it wouldn’t be very fair. See the riddles I had for tonight were kind of specific to a couple of past games me and the other one had done.

Batman!Dick: What you never did that for me when I was Robin-

Riddler: Yes well it just wasn’t as fun with you.

Batman!Dick: So what, are you going to just let the hostages go?

Riddler: Well I guess. I’ll have to come up with something different, we can reschedule.

Batman!Dick: So what, do we just take you back to Arkham or-

Riddler: *shrugs* That’s fine. I’ll just table this one for when he gets back.

[killrisma]

Rogue: But how do we create a scene?

Doctor: Homosexual audacity

[shyjusticewarrior]

Duke: What are you doing here?

Duke: ... Your excellency.

Damian: You don't call her "your excellency."

Talia: No, no, I kinda like it.

[thequeenofuselessinformation]

I'm alive but only ironically.

Twt op cr: @FranziaMom

[bruciemilf]

Fully believe the kids told Logan Twitter is a journaling app

[softfem-dom]

x men incorrect quotes

WORST! LOGAN : wai- wait wait wait. what's that thing.

YN : this is my new friend! *zoom in to YN holding weapon xi! wade wilson's hand as he stands awkwardly.*

WORST! LOGAN : oh hell nah, bub. you can't keep on bringing stray variants into the appartment.

*pointing to wolverine origins!Rogue, xmen 2000!Wolverine, dofp!Magneto, apocalypse!Kurt and dofp!Quicksilver*

YN : bu-but they just need love!

[batman-dc-imagines]

Incorrect quotes with the J Squad + (Name)

(Name): Yo is Jerome sleeping or dead?

Jon: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.

Jervis: Yeah, so did I.

Jerome: Okay first of all, fuck you-

——————————————————————

(Name): *Screams*

Jerome: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Jon: Should we do something?

Jervis: No, I want to see who wins

——————————————————————

(Name): Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Jerome: I don’t know how to do that.

Jon: I don’t wear a watch.

Jervis: Time is a construct.

——————————————————————

(Name): Can I be frank with you guys?

Jerome: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Jon: Can I still be Jon?

Jervis: Shh, let Frank speak.

(Name): I hate y’all.

Jervis: You don’t mean that, Frank.

——————————————————————

(Name), about Jerome: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Jon: Are we stealing them?

Jervis: New or used?

(Name): Wonderful responses, both of you.

——————————————————————

(Name): How did none of you hear what I just said?

Jervis: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Jerome: I got distracted about halfway through.

Jon: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

——————————————————————

(Name): Dammit, Jerome!

Jerome: What?! It wasn’t me!

(Name): Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Jon!

Jon: Not me either.

(Name): Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Jervis: *whistles*

(Name): JERVIS-

——————————————————————

*(Name) is cooking*

Jerome: Any chance that’s for me?

(Name): It’s for Jervis. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Jon: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

——————————————————————

Jervis: I think (Name) was right.

Jon: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Jerome: They wouldn't do that.

(Name): You're right, Jerome. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

(Name): *turns around, the shirt they're wearing saying 'I told you so' on the back*

——————————————————————

Jerome, banging on the door: Baghead! Open up!

Jon: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Jervis: No, he meant-

(Name): Let him finish.

——————————————————————

(Name): Have you seen Jerome around here?

Jon: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Jervis: It looks fine to me?

Jon: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

——————————————————————

Jon: Why are (Name) and Jerome sitting with their backs to each other?

Jervis: They had a fight.

Jon: Then why are they holding hands?

Jervis: They get sad when they fight.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Wizard: A spy is giving away every one of our battle plans. Rogue: You look surprised, Sorcerer. Sorcerer: I certainly am. I didn’t realize we had any battle plans.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Harley: *made the mistake of eating Arkham's soup* Ouch. My tummy hurts.

Basil Karlo/Clayface: Have you tried killing Frank Roosevelt?

Harley: What?

Darius Chapel/Music Meister: You think that would help?

Basil: It couldn't hurt.

Both: *start singing How I Saved Roosevelt*

Harley: WHAT THE FUCK?

[fttwts]

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick, describing his happy place: I'm in a cabin, in the middle of nowhere. Inside it's just me and that stupid slimey clown, Joker, and I'm beating the hell out of him. I break a dining room table over his head. Then I rip off his arm and shove it where the sun don't shine. Then, I reach down his throat and shake his hand.

Bruce: Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and schedule you for a psych eval.

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Poison Ivy: And then he said my lipstick was ugly!

Robin!Dick, dangling over a tank of acid by his ankle: You can do so much better!