#Damian was very confused

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Riddler: Riddle me this boy-

Riddler: Batman?

Batman!Dick: Yes?

Riddler: Who the fuck is this?

Batman!Dick: This is Robin.

Riddler: Obviously. But he’s different. He’s all scowly. Where’s the fun one, who likes my riddles?

Batman!Dick: He’s taking some PTO. Can we get on with this?

Riddler: No.

Batman!Dick: What? Why not!

Riddler: Well I would but it wouldn’t be very fair. See the riddles I had for tonight were kind of specific to a couple of past games me and the other one had done.

Batman!Dick: What you never did that for me when I was Robin-

Riddler: Yes well it just wasn’t as fun with you.

Batman!Dick: So what, are you going to just let the hostages go?

Riddler: Well I guess. I’ll have to come up with something different, we can reschedule.

Batman!Dick: So what, do we just take you back to Arkham or-

Riddler: *shrugs* That’s fine. I’ll just table this one for when he gets back.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 170

Once again on my Ras & Danny being training rivals thanks to time travel bullshit. 

Look, Danny knows about the league of Assassins, but he almost dies of laughter when he realizes it’s the modern name of the league of Shadows. He’s an adult now, has been for a while, he’s allowed to find the situation he’s found himself in amusing. Hell, his sparring buddy who is somehow still alive is laughing too. 

And no one else knows what’s going on, okay? This random man walked into their secret base, completely ignored the many assassins trying to stop him, and called their illustrious leader a “Little Bitch Man” and they are now fighting?

The fighting is familiar, but why the fuck is Ras cackling and saying things like “Ayreh Feek” back. Practically saying “Fuck you,” while laughing and oh Pit, they’re Bantering this is terrifying, why has Ras not won yet, why has this man not died yet and- bodies aren’t supposed to bend like that what the fuck- 

Ras on the other hand, has One friend, who is immortal like him, actually remembers the shit he complains about, is also down for saving endangered animals, and actually knows how to spar! It’s not a proper spar unless someone loses at least a hand that has to be reattached! And honestly, people nowadays should know that the proper greeting to an old friend is to instantly try to kill the other. 

[batty-pham]

Trans Danny Fenton?

Amazing. Yes.

Twin Damian and Danny.

Beautiful. Wonderful.

Imagine with me for a second.

Damian is finally reunited with his long lost twin, he is angry to hide how relieved he is that he is no longer the only blood child anymore.

Elle is just really confused why Robin clocked her as a clone, then changed his mind and decided to hug her while crying. This was not what she was expecting was going to happen when she ventured into Gotham.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Damian, who has just lost the last member of his family, goes off the deep end and, in a fit of violent rage, goes tumbling through a portal and back in time.

Jason doesn’t know how the scary guy with the gunshot wound became his problem but he’s not heartless enough to leave him to bleed out beside some dumpster in Crime Alley.

[allthegothihopgirls]

when the batboys (as civilians) have to speak to authorities about situations, they're all pretty accustomed to having to lie to keep their vigilante identities a secret. so they'll fabricate why they were in a certain place at a certain time, how they landed in a situation, or how they sustained different injuries.

they were all properly trained on giving false accounts to protect themselves, whilst still giving ie: police the important crime details, or doctors the relevant medical info. and it's just one of The Things they all do and don't really think twice about.

then damian comes along. constantly going "to say that is how i ended up there would be simply belittling to my character" or "that's absurd. no one will believe that. why can't i just tell them what actually happened?" and no amount of explaining will help him understand why.

there is a lot of subtle nudges and whispers of "damian, just do it for god's sake", because he finds the absolute worst times to question their strategies too.

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

It started back when he was 16.

His parents found out about him and Vlad thanks to the fruitloop being an idiot and practically outing them both. Danny was so lucky that he had planned for a situation like this. He had go-bags ready with a few changes of clothes, a thermos, some weapons, a star projector, lots of money from Sam and enough medical supplies to make a hospital jealous.

It was a good thing too, after crippling the GIW and destroying all the gear they and the Fentons had they destroyed their research and everything ghost related. Vlad at this point was already dead so he wasn't much of a concern.

Dannys had landed in an alley in a new dimension, only problem now was the parting shot his mother gave him on his back. Due to the placement of it Danny couldn't reach to treat it properly and he didn't know anyone in this dimension who could help him.

Thats when his ghost sense went off. He groaned, hoping he wouldn't have to fight a new ghost in this state when a man in a red helmet (Mask?) walked up to him and motioned for peace.

"I'm not going to hurt you." The man said gently, "I just wanna look at that injury, maybe help."

Danny stared at him. He didn't feel anything off about the guy and Danny prided himself on being a good judge of character. "Okay." He scooted himself around so his back was exposed to the stranger.

"Wow, you're really not from around here." Danny stiffened, had he been tricked? The man made no moves to hurt him, just got to work tending to his wound. The man was swift, and aside from the slight sting of an ointment he didn't recognize there was no pain at all.

Once Danny was all patched up the guy made to leave, "Wait!" Danny called out and the man halted, "Who are you?" The man turned his head to look back at him, still facing away from him, "Red Hood."

As it turned out, Red Hood was the new up and coming crime lord who everyone was talking about. He came seemingly out of nowhere and was making a lot of waves in Gothams underbelly. Gotham...so this was Dannys new haunt.

Danny wanted to protect it but...he wanted to protect Red Hood even more. So when he heard about Red Hood forming a gang he made a decision. He gathered up materials to make his own supervillian outfit- basically an all black outfit with a long hooded coat and combat boots- and to add the finishing touch he put on a all white gas mask that he had made himself, complete with a voice modulator, night vision, heat vision, etc. If Hood ever wanted him to prove it was him he could make his mask glow using his ghost powers. Not that it was needed. Hood seemed to be able to sense him in a similar way that Danny could but in a much much smaller range.

With that being said, hoods men didn't trust him at first, which was fair considering he just started randomly appearing at their operations and helping them out...by force usually. They weren't sure what to make of him but Danny didn't want to go through the usual goon enlistment process as Hood would want to know his name and face and everything else and Phantom was...well a phantom.

Danny liked to hide, even in plain sight. He couldn't deny the little game of cat and mouse they had was fun. Hood would try to follow him home or track him or get him to take off the mask and Phantom would dodge his attempts every time.

It took a while, but Red Hood did eventually come to trust him, going so far as to make Danny his right hand man after 3 years of working together, though that may also be because he had rarely failed any of the tasks Hood had given him.

Maybe thats why he never told any of the bats about him. He had picked up that there was something between Hood and the bats but he never could figure out what it was without prying into his bosses personal life. Still, it was rather shocking when Red Hood showed up one day with a large red bat symbol splayed across his chest.

It also made him look at how freaking chiseled his boss was. He couldn't count how many times he had to drag his eyes away from his abs and chastise himself for thinking that way.

Danny was in love with a man whos face he would never see. But that was fine. He was happier standing by this man's side and yearning than he ever was back in Amity and it wasn't like Hood knew his face or name either.

-----------

He felt like a halfa though an incomplete one. He had a core but it felt hollow, like the soul was forcibly removed somehow and only emotions remained. Hood gained a bad reputation for flying into a monstrous rage but was always calm when Danny was near, a fact that even Red Hood himself seemed to pick up on.

Hood began to fall for his second in command pretty quickly, always trying to feed him and take care of him (as is his love language) while Danny was openly obsessed with assuring Hoods safety and well being even going so far as to use his powers (that no one knows about) to overshadow a computer and hack into the bats systems to make sure Hood was okay after a prolonged period of him being MIA.

The bats are freaked but Danny being Danny gets lucky and they always seem to miss his trail by a hair. Lucky ghost.

Things start going sideways when Fenton tech starts showing up in this new dimension only for Danny to find out his parents have remade the portal and are looking for him. The bats are being hunted by his parents and and the now rogue government agency the GIW. Danny tries to explain things to Hood without compromising his own secrets but once the newest Robin gets captured and Hood freaks Danny puts everything on the line to go rescue the stabby bird.

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

It was another competion the entire family all shoving and pushing each other into the car to see more of Damian's art.

Tim is excited for Damian.

He knows what it's like, to stand there and have no one show up. To be there all by yourself for hours the only one to visit your booth being the art teacher.

Ms. Carrington who would ask questions and ignore the tears that pooled in his eyes before helping him pack everything up, sometimes even driving him home because of course neither his parents or Bruce could be bothered to pick him up.

He can't really help the envy that he can feel building in his chest mixing with a good chunk of repressed anger.

A elbow being jabbed into his ribs distracts him.

"Hey what's with the face? Perk up Boy-Loser it's Damian's night."

He turns to Steph the smile that he had been attempting to plaster on falling. It's such a stupid thing it's a nickname so what if it's demeaning, he gets called pretender or replacement by Jason what does it matter.

"Do you ever think it's kinda fucked up that not a single person in this family calls me anything that isn't an insult?" He snaps.

She looks shocked. How fucking dare he have an ounce of self esteem. Someone alert the Media Tim Drake isn't a dormat.

He turns away sliding into the crowd.

There's less then half an hour left before he can leave. Pratically throwing himself down in the empty hallway as far as he can get from this entire night.

"Baby bird and Timmy aren't insults? Or are they I can't seem to keep up with the kids these days."

He turns, of course. You might be able to run from Batman or lie to him, but you can never escape the grasp of Big Brother Nightwing.

"So your admitting that your old?" he joins the banter.

His muscles start to unclench another superpower only Dick Grayson seems to have.

"Never, something you want to talk about?"

Does he? No. Should he? Yah.

"Maybe I just don't want be insulted every day of my life. So weird who doesn't want to be reminded they suck?"

He can hear the whine, he can also hear that everything he just said isn't gonna matter. You don't take whiny little boys seriously. And that's what he is.

"Hmm you know I get called Dickhead or really a lot of just penis related jokes. Always hated them not that it really stops anyone."

He looks finally making eye contact with his big brother. Because he's right. How many times has he heard anyone in the family other than him and Damian call Dick anything nice. Never not once. Maybe Bruce but he can't really picture it.

"Also don't think I didn't notice how annoyed you are with Bruce about this entire night, which I don't blame you for. You know I love Damian kiddo, but yah Bruce is not winning a mug from me or you."

He doesn't really want to acknowledge any of that already exhausted and he will have to apologize to Steph and if he opens the box it will be a car ride from hell home.

"Luckily for you I have a car parked a block up we can escape get ice cream and have a nice sleepover in bludhaven."

He wants to so bad, he wants to throw himself at Dick who knows him so well, who followed him out here, who isn't blinking, the only adult who has ever not somehow fucked him over.

"What about Damian? He will be pissed at me for stealing you or something. He doesn't need another reason to stab me."

He turns to look back at the floor.

"Foolish Drake I will be coming with you Father is being insesently annoying and I much rather talk about art with someone who has a brain cell."

Both him and Dick whip around to see Damian standing there a slight blush on his face hesitation making the corner of mouth twitch. He sees Dick looking on unsure. He doesn't hesitate.

"Thank god I know a great place with that Vegan Cookie Dough you like. What you waiting for Big Bird? Let's go. "

Climbling to his feet he grabs Dick and Damian dragging them to the exit he hears Dick's confused muttering sharing a secret smile with Damian before ignoring it.

The night is finally looking up.

[flamingpudding]

Time for some time shenanigans?

Here is an idea.

Time is an interesting thing but not something one should mess with unless your the being ruling over it. And in a moment of true Clockwork No! Clockwork Yes! Fashion. The ruler of time decided that something needed to be done to help his king heal once more after having lost his family.

And as someone who lived millennial of years and no real understanding of humans aside from what he sees from watching timelines, Clockwork came up with the, in his opinion, perfect solution. Deaging his king into a toddler and sending him into the past to expirence some familial love. He had made sure his little king was getting picked up by the man with an adoption problem. A family with a lot of siblings for his king to love and to get loved back.

Now, that would all be fine and dandy if Clockwork had remembered to at least seal or erase his kings memories. The problem was he didn't. But really, what could his little king with his memories but the mind of a toddler do?

Apparently a lot. Espacially with the help of the family that picked him up.

Okay, plan B. Clockwork was going to send all his king's rogues to keep him and his vigilante family occupied so his king would stop attempting to get to Amity Park and change his own past and focus more on his new family.

Meanwhile the bat clan is freaking out. Their newest baby brother of 3 years old appears to be the constant target of other worldy attacks they barely managed to protect him from. Why were these weird beings after a little toddler that hasn't harmed anyone?! And why in the name of anything good did it look like the toddler was okay with fighting them too?!

[violent138]

I feel like Jason would wind up married for some reason and just not tell anyone. And then one of his henchmen, while fighting the Bats during one of their weekly ideological disputes on how to handle a shared problem would go, "No wonder he hates you guys, you're ruining his damn honeymoon!" and all hell would break loose.

[todelve-intomy-monthlyfixations]

Have another exam tomorrow, but I started another (devestating) angst tim drake fic that I can't stop reading, so, tbh who cares about physics? I need to cry over Timmy Drake rn.

Update: I fucked it up but tbh whatever bc my batfam fic updated :p

[iwanttoshareamorange]

Ok listen all of the batkids love bluey

It starts with Jason who is babysitting Lian one night. She insists that they watch bluey together and Jason cannot say no to her so they watch it. At first he’s like yeah this is pretty good and kinda funny but by the end he has already put her to bed and he’s still watching it when Roy gets back. Roy laughs but says that he likes to watch it too.

It starts becoming an after patrol treat for Jason, especially after a particularly rough night or when his vision starts getting uncomfortably green. He switches on a few eps until he can think clearly again and hum along to opening theme.

So he really thinks nothing of it when he turns it on after a long patrol. He’s so on autopilot that he doesn’t even register that it’s not something he would normally put on around Dick. For his credit, Dick doesn’t really say anything, though he definitely gives Jason a weird look. Jason ignores it. Dick is hooked immediately and leaves the next morning singing the theme on his way out.

Cass becomes a bluey fan similar to dick, although it’s a bit more purposeful. She’s having a bad day, having trouble seeing any good in herself. She goes to Jason’s apartment because she doesn’t want to be alone and she knows he won’t make a big deal of anything. Jason takes on look at his sister and plops her down on the couch with a blanket and an episode of bluey while he goes off to make them both a hot chocolate. Cass goes to bed smiling.

From there Cass infects Steph because she likes to have it on as background noise (Steph loves Dance Mode and Bus). Dick didn’t even mean to get Tim hooked. Tim had broken into his apartment the night before and was sitting at his coffee table with several files and his laptop open. Dick grumbled a good morning before putting an episode of bluey on before going to make both of them breakfast. Tim didn’t realize he had been actively watching until Dick set a plate of toast and eggs in front of him.

Duke accepted it easily. Cass had it on the morning after patrol and he had started just by walking by, then the lean against the back of the sofa, to sitting down, to having his feet kicked up into his sisters lap as they watched together. (They were later joined by Steph and Tom who easily squeezed onto the couch with them)

Damian was the only one to put up any resistance against watching bluey, mostly because he already despises being seen as a kid. He thinks it’s ridiculous that his siblings are taken in so easily by a simple children’s cartoon. Steph sat on him to force him to watch Squash and he now only watches it when his other siblings have it on (and if you saw him in his room after patrol watching it on an iPad under his covers no you didn’t).

[thatshadowgastwhore]

I have more questions for the reverse robins experts:

Is this just a main four Robin boys reverse or are Steph, babs, cass, and duke included? If so do things get exactly reversed or can you mix and match to some extent?

If Tim and Jason are reversed, does the joker jr plot full the same narrative space as death in the family? Or is it pretty much the same?

Why does Tim join the fam at all if he’s not motivated to do so by the death of a Robin? Does he also inherit Jason’s backstory and personality or just his place in the narrative? Actually, this extends to all of them, do they inherit backstories or just place in the narrative?

Do side teams like the outlaws, teen titans, and young justice get reversed as well? Is Tim always a member of young justice with kon, Bart and Cassie, and their ages also shift, or would Tim then be on a team with the outlaws, and young justice becomes Jason’s team?

[jenna-louise-jamie]

wait im unbelievably excited to see more of alex and yassen's interactions in alex rider season 3. yassen literally killed someone to protect alex.

we know from the books alex learned to appreciate yassen in some way because he died to save him, but this time around yassen lived but killed someone to save him. book!alex still thinks about yassen long after his death and chooses to keep the fact that yassen died for him to himself. he didn't even seem to hold a grudge that yassen's dying words to him ended up getting alex shot later on (possibly because he appreciated that yassen led him to the truth about his father, and he got to learn more about both of them).

different scenarios but they both led to alex succeeding in stopping damian cray. im curious to know if yassen was still out of it this time around, and he didn't actually want alex to go to scorpia. [insert that anthony horowitz tweet/tumblr post here]. very excited to find out. and also scared!

[ghurab-alzilal]

At the Zoo X

8 y/o Damian, panicked, pointing at two sea otters in the water : Mama! Mama! You must do something! That otter is killing the other one!

Jason, smirking as eats a sandwich : They're having sex.

Dick, covering Damian's ears : JASON!!!

8 y/o Damian, startled : That is what Mother did to Father?

Dick, sighs : Ah Jace-

Jason: *shrugs *

8 y/o Damian, excited : Cool!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 11 - Part 12

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Contrary to what everyone believes, Damian does not know death.

He grew up with the League. Sheltered from the worst even though father does not seem to think so. Grievous injuries were healed with a submersion in a pool of glowing green.

Damian does not know death. For him, death his temporary. A setback. Something to be cured with magic unknown.

So when Damian stabs one of father’s false sons, he does not understand why father is so upset. Why he is now barred from the cave. Why everyone looks at him with such horror. Surely they know he had to demonstrate that he, the blood son, is superior?

He does not understand why the false son does not get back up. Why father does not take him to the pits.

Damian does not understand. He will have to investigate.

He does not understand why nobody wishes to talk to him all of a sudden.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

hi! please share your headcanons about jay. thanks!

ooooooooh sure thing let's get it!!

(also please keep in mind that soke was literally my first time dipping back into dc after a LONG while, so i have a bit of catch-up to do in terms of characters and stories, and thus some of my knowledge might be outdated!!! also i love jay but i do consider myself still very new to understanding him and thus most of these will be silly fun :333)

damian makes fun of him for that all-black ninja-esque stealth suit he wore to sneak into star labs because there was literally NO POINT in jay trying to disguise himself like that when he didn't bother covering up his BRIGHT FUCKING PINK hair

yes i'm still mad about yes i would like to know his thought process

is it natural btw??? i've seen different takes around where people think it's dyed bc of his other version in aos:jk, but i feel like that's pretty unlikely considering it was shaved all the way down when he got taken prisoner and experimented on and it grew back exactly like that

for the record i'm not a hater i'm just saying 1) it made him a walking beacon and 2) it being natural is so fucking funny to me since he clearly didn't inherit it from his mom, which begs the question:

who the fuck is jay's dad

while jay does care for all of the revolutionaries as their ally and everyone at the truth as their boss, and as an overall friend, i think that wink and the aerie are especially close to him and they consider each other family. they were pretty much the closest thing to adult supervision jay had for a while, and he relied on them a lot when he was settling down in metropolis and figuring out how to live alone

this meant that he called them for stupid things like "if something explodes in your microwave do you call the fire department", and not-stupid things like "help me open a bank account because metropolis bank has laws that won't let me do it by myself as a minor"

they were also the first people he came out to

jay loves them even if they CAN be really annoying

jay: "are you—are you guys ACTUALLY planning on shovel-talking superman" wink: "technically, he's superman's son" the aerie: "and if he's late to the coffee shop, i'm taking points off"

i think jay would get along with tim actually

the dude is an underground hacktivist refugee, investigative journalist, and a former president's son. he's probably used to always looking over his shoulder, ready to be jumped at a moment's notice. he's got a plan for everything but the plans only exist inside his head because he can't risk hard copies being found or digital ones being hacked. he's memorized them all. they're either alphabetized or mentally color-coded. we're talking levels of elaborate just-in-case getaways and meticulously planned investigations that would get a normal reporter killed if they asked the wrong question. it's dedication to a terrifying degree

yeah tim would definitely rock with him

jay has this neat little trick where if he's in a situation in which someone's poisoned his food and he has to eat it/can't let them know he knows, he just partially phases his organs so that the food falls through his body a little bit at a time and never enters his digestive system

jon is HORRIFIED when he finds out. damian is really fucking impressed

does gamorra have its own language???? i feel like jay would be fluent in it if so. of course he would be. he'd do anything to keep part of home as close to his chest as possible

oh that's another thing i'll probs mess up on btw i am legit so confused on gamorra considering it's apparently in asia and i would assume has its own distinct culture? but jay's surname is japanese and that random kid on the boat has a japanese name so are they like. japanese-adjacent??? or is gamorra made up of multiple asian identities blended into one (read tags for clarification)

i should probably read absolute power shouldn't i

okay sorry that got WAY off topic but yeah jay is definitely someone who loved his home despite not being able to go back and did everything he could to maintain his ties

ALSO can we talk about jay being a student at metropolis college at seventeen???? did he skip a year of school when he got to the u.s.??? did he lie on forms or something??

like i don't think he's taking extra credit classes as a high school student because he was also advertising the media department when we saw him, and i don't think he'd be doing that if he was in high school

jon makes sense because he had a fake identity which COULD put him in college. but jay???

honestly lying on paper is such a jay nakamura thing to do if he doesn't want people tracking him down by cross-referencing his birthday with government records

jay nakamura's number-one tip of running an anonymous underground activist stream: hide all identifiable information from the government

(this does not work when you are widely recognized as superman's boyfriend)

also now that dick is backing the truth can we PLEASE get tim in on it. i think it'd be so fucking funny. i think he and jay would have a grand old time breaking into firewalls and digging through internet archives and exposing corrupt people

tim is like "FINALLY i have something fun to do at all those fucking galas bruce makes me go to" because jay needs some rich guy's vacation itinerary so he knows the prime time to break into his house and gather evidence for something

i just have so much appreciation for jay nakamura you guys i love him so much