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haven't seen your stuff on my dashboard in a while so i came to say hi ^_^ hiiiiiiiii
HIIIII MELTY!!!! NICE TO SEE U AGAIN!!!!!! Thanks for worrying about me :> I'm okay! Just got stuck making a lot of comms and stopped posting bc of that :(
I was more active on twt but I kinda got banned here in Brazil (yes, the whole ass website was banned) so I guess I'll go back here and be more active after all lol
I've also made a side blog to post and rt silly stuff @haykye
#in case youre wondering what happened#elon musk was posting a lot of political lies on twt and bc of that he got into an argument with the country's government#and he recused to act like an adult and respect brazil's laws so the whole site got banned for who knows how long#soooooooo yeah !!#its good to be back tho#missed u a lot !!#everytime i see a teto i think about you btw#asks#memo brazillian lore
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#tumblr polls#polls#Sorry if the wording is weird. I thought ''be considered X where I live'' would make the most sense since 'tallness' or etc. is sort of#subjective to the people around you or your specific culture/area/etc. And if I just said ''I'm tall'' or ''I'm short'' then#the response might be 'well how do I define whether I'm tall or not?'' or etc. But then most people could probably look#at the people around them in daily life they interact with and compare based on that to get a more literal idea or something#..ANYWAY.. lol.. as usual just thought of some random thing and was like.. hrmm... i wonder what the most common#feeling about that would be.#personally I'm not even short but I just want to be really really tall... like... 7 feet tall or something. In a fantasy world type of way#of course. so like a super tall elf creature. More realistically I suppose you get health problems past a certain point#so maybe I'd be happy with 6'2â or so.#Absolutely no hate towards people with this preference but I've always had trouble understanding the idea of wanting to be shorter#so you're Small And Cute or this and that. or whatever the base reason is. I suppose I would understand it from a surivval prespective#maybe you want to be able to hide in your environment easier and blend into a crowd. I personally would like people to be inspired to run#away from me when they see me though gjhbj#In an average grocery store or something just a normal day but then some 8 foot tall wizard man walks in and so everyone#kind of backs away slowly = yaaay I get the aisle all to myself and can shop for my produce in peace.#(except for the fact that there's a subsection of people who would intepret it as spectacle and would run towards instead of away#and pull out their dumbass phones to film Weird Thing Happening. in which case. spell of 'phone melts into molten plastic in your hands#stop filming strangers in public without their consent' be cast upon ye. )
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â de fontaine
{â} characters furina {â} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {â} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {â} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe â for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them â broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person â and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths â just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage â she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it â she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things â try to, anyway â for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heelsâ she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it â it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really â she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again â she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying â that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore â she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue â how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen â prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go â she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define âyourselfâ when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up âyourselfâ to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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âYouâre going to blow out your arms,â the villain observed. They watched as the hero merely grit their teeth, shoving themself through another pull-up. It looked painful, and if the sweat slicking the heroâs brow was any indication, it was.
They waited for the hero to let themself drop from the bar and accept the villain was stronger. But they didnât.
Three more pull-ups, and the villain stepped in.
âHero,â they said slowly. âYouâre about to tear the ligaments in your arms. You need to stop.â
The hero blew out a shuddering breath. Struggled for purchase, fighting gravityâand let themself drop.
The heroâs hands were bleeding, calluses torn open by the bar. The hero didnât seem bothered when their own hands shook so much that their blood began to splatter on the gym floor.
For a moment, the villain could only stare at them.
Shit.
They didnât know how to handle this. They knew the hero was dedicated. They knew the hero was strong, and perpetually trying to be stronger, but they hadnât thoughtâŚ
They hadnât thought the hero would be so willing to tear apart their own body for success.
It was supposed to be fun, the villain thought. They felt a little sick as the hero pressed their palms together to soothe the bleeding, an action that was practiced and familiar. As if they had done this before.
The hero reached for something in their bag, smearing blood on the side, and pulled out a roll of blue electrical tape. The villain didnât understand why, until the hero tore a strip off and made to wrap their hands with it.
The hero would be the death of them.
They crouched in front of the hero, plucking the electrical tape out of their hands.
âWhat are you doing with this?â
The hero blinked at the villain like they were the strange one in this situation.
âWrapping my hands?â
The villain hissed in a breath.
âWith electrical tape?â
The hero flushed slightly, looking down at their bloody hands. They looked close to tears.
âItâŚsticks to skin, really well. And it doesnât move, either, when you move your hands or wherever else, even if youâre fighting. Plus, blood doesnât make it come off, at least, not for a while.â
The villain blinked at them.â
âBlood doesnât make it come off,â the villain repeated, processing. The hero nodded, reaching for the electrical tape. The villain settled it out of reach.
âNot if you wrap it right.â
Dimly, the villain realized that meant the hero had done this enough times to have it down to a science.
âAnd you couldnât use a bandaid?â The villain asked incredulously. The hero shrugged a shoulder, then winced at the motion.
Yeah, the hero had absolutely blown out their arms.
âBandaids moveââ
The villain hushed them.
âBe quiet for a second.â
The hero, wisely, went quiet.
The villain rubbed a hand over their face, then studied the hero for a moment. They took one of the heroâs hands into their own, studying the damage.
âWhy did you do this to yourself,â the villain murmured.
âWhat do you mean, why,â the hero snapped. âItâs my job.â
âYour job is to save people,â the villain corrected. âNot destroy yourself.â
âIâm not destroying myselfââ
âYou are.â
âShut upââ
âHero.â
âI need to be better,â the hero snapped. Their voice rang out across the gym, echoing into the rafters, and they both froze. After a moment, the hero spoke again, voice soft. âI need to be better.â
They said it like they needed the villain to understand. The villain wondered who they were really saying it toâthe villain, or themself.
âBetter than who?â
âEveryone.â It was hushed, like a secret.
The villain watched them, waiting.
The hero took a shaky breath
âMy whole thing is being the best. I have always been the best. Thatâs the only reason I matter. If Iâm not strong enough, then I am nothing, so I need. to be. better.â
The hero had started crying, very quietly, like they were afraid to take up too much space.
The villain was not equipped to handle gifted kid burnout.
âThereâs more to you than just being a good athlete,â the villain said hesitantly, and the hero shook their head.
âNo. There isnât.â
âHero.â
âCan you give me back my electrical tape?â They hiccuped to contain a sob.
âNo,â the villain said firmly, and then the hero really was sobbing.
âYou donât understandââ
The villain didnât. Not really. They had never been the kind of talented that the hero was.
They wondered now if maybe that was a blessing.
âI donât,â the villain agreed. âBut I do understand that youâve saved half the city, and you give everything you have to give, and you always do your best.â
âBut I-â
âNo.â The villain stopped them. âYou are doing your best.â They tipped the heroâs chin up until they met the villainâs eyes. âAnd it is enough.â
The hero froze, eyes darting over the villainâs face. They wondered if anyone had ever said that to the hero, if whatever mentor they had was giving them anything other than orders to be stronger. Be better. Be more.
The villain had some new targets to take care of, it would seem.
For now, though, they had to take care of hero.
âWeâre going to go wrap your hands,â they said softly. âAnd then weâre going to take care of your arms, and youâre going to take a nap.â
The hero nodded, watching them like they were some kind of good, selfless person.
âAnd if I ever catch you using electrical tape again, so help me, I will put you six feet under.â
That startled a laugh out of the hero, and they let the villain guide them to their feet.
âFine.â
The villain turned to them. âOkay?â
Are you going to be alright?
The hero seemed to understand.
âOkay,â the hero agreed.
Yes.
And so, it was.
#writing#writing community#snippet#angst#heroes and villains#ficlet#writblr#hero/villain#hero whumpee#exhaustion#overworked#villain caretaker#whump#kind of#in case youâre wondering. yes you CAN do this to yourself. itâs completely possible#essentially what happens is if you do a motion (a pull-up) more than your body is capable#it gets mad. this is different from training till failure. this is to failure and then beyond#so while you started using the correct muscle groups you those muscles get tired and despite the tired you donât stop#so then your body switches to muscles it SHOULDNT BE USINF and then you fuck up your elbows (in the case of pull-ups)#and then you canât straighten your arms for a week bc the ligaments and tendons and all the little movement parts want to keep it curled in#Iâm not a doctor#Iâm just a gifted kid who was an athlete who got burnt out and destroyed her body lmao#this is possibly maybe based on true events that occurred#anyways. Iâm not a doctor but you can use electrical tape on wounds. yes it sticks. yes it stays. itâs honestly very useful.#electrical tape > bandaids#do not do anything listed here it is BAD. do not blow out your muscles it hurts. properly clean ur injuries. I beg you.#donât get injured at all#thank you to my friend who went âpull-upâ competition and then watched me create this angst#love u besties. drink water. go to sleep. summon demons. â¤ď¸ self care
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happy holidays flumblr. have a silly doodle that got out of hand
#got his card yesterday and had to draw how it felt like LOL#are there even mistletoes in the neath. would he know what one looks like. important lore wonderings .#tbh. kinda cute that it happened just as my ghostie was feeling lowkey miserable & trying to spend the day away locked up making steel#rei: ...everyone is getting together with their families and i. dont have that. hm. i dont feel in the mood to party at all guess ill work.#fl rng once again with the funniest timing ever: bitch youre literally married. go see your husband#fallen london#poor edward#light fingers spoilers#<- for the semi-exposed face (scandalous)#christmas#<- in case someone blocks xmas imagery or smth#chaindoodles
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if eddie talks to christopher and decides to be more honest to the 14 year old, and tell him about the mention of divorce before the death, i might actually cry. i know christopher doesnât see shannon as the perfect mother if she left them already, but he probably still thinks she was going to stay before she died. itâs gonna be so emotional to see eddie open up finally to his son.
#brb thatâs gonna be the next chapter of overwhelmed#my fic in case youâre wondering#i hope this happens#i know by experience what it feels like to finally learn the truth about your parents marriage years later#i know itâs going to hurt them both but they need it in order to move on#and for christopher to trust eddie#ugh this little weewoo show does so much to my mental health#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 on abc#911 buddie#buck and eddie#oliver stark#ryan guzman#gavin mchugh#christopher diaz#911 spoilers#911 speculation
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y'all ever think about Sam & Izzy in a no-name port, in a house, in their house, the place they've met in secret for decades? sharing the few days they can snatch from the unforgiving passage of time, holding each other, knowing it's going to end again before they're ready? knowing that perhaps this is the last time they'll ever get to do this, and they won't know until it's already happened? I sure do
#this post was sponsored by the song '400 bones' by frightened rabbit#trying to commit it to memory just in case#knowing youll always be led back here and hoping you wont be alone#coming up with excuses to stop somewhere you have no business being?#thats the reason you chose it after all. nobody would ever suspect it. its safe. but it wont be safe if youre here too often#does ed know? does izzy have to make excuses and lies just to have some time with sam?#but they couldnt meet anywhere else. not the prince of pirates and the dreaded first mate hands#not like this anyway. itd never be safe#no weaknesses#everyone knows the story of them coming up under hornigold#a few know that they used to be close and wonder what happened#nobody can know that they still are#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#another one for the list of ideas i may or may not do something more with at some point. i sure do think abt it#do you think at the darkest moment that izzy would bring the crew there? betray the sanctuary they built to keep his kids safe?#do you think sam would agree with his choices? do you think hed know?#sams been waiting at the cottage a few days now. he always hangs around longer when izzy wasnt there. just in case. its pouring down#outside. no sensible ship would come into harbour. he waits anyway. theres a knock at the door#he opens it with caution- you never know whos been drawn in by the candle in the window really. but its izzy. of course it is#he sweeps him into his arms; greets him with as much fervour as he normally would. it takes him a minute to notice the bodies behind izzy#...to be continued if i feel like it maybe. im outta tags
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do i stop this madness by getting a hysterectomy or do i sell my uterus on the black market so i can at least be fairly compensated for what it's put me through
#nothing even happened i'm just being dramatic rn#like i was changing my pad and inspiration for this post struck me directly in the forehead#also a hysterectomy is a procedure to get your uterus removed in case anyone was wondering đđź#girlblogging#this is what makes us girls#just girly things#this is a girlblog#just girly thoughts#just girly posts#girlhood#i'm just a girl#hyper feminine#girly things#pinterest girl#it girl#dream girl#femcore#femcel#the female gaze#girl blogger#gaslight gatekeep girlboss
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Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an artâ which I wholeheartedly supportâ#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than othersâ and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to meâ which yes that too given the topicsâ#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
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--
#This is about the last thing I could have imagined happening to me but.#A girl just slid what pretty realistically is a love letter under my door and. I really don't know what to do about it#God. I like her a lot but I also really just love her as a friend??#I don't. I have no idea what to reply because on one hand if I said something like#âyeah every second we spend together is precious to me too I love you <3 â I would probably. Definitely come across wrong#But at the same time I can't just reply coldly I don't want to be rude. I do enjoy the time we spend together.#I just feel that if I don't reply with the same love and dedication I will come off as rude and make her sad and I really don't want to#But also I'm like. 100% sure I'm not into her romantically#It's just. The way she talks to me in the letter makes me feel... Odd in the bad way.#She spent words of admiration on me I really feel like I can't own you know.#She seems to look up to me a lot and I don't think I should be looked up to at all.#âYou're a wonderfulâ very strongâ and intelligent personâ HOW DO YOU EVEN REPLY TO THAT.#âUh I disagree but you're entitled to your opinionâ... ?#Thank you?#This is. Ugh. I'm really not fit for this kind of stuff.#I LOVE exploring characters being in love and putting them in awkward ridiculous situations that make them miserable.#I HATE to be in such situations#As if exams weren't enough. How do I deal with that#Posting this just in case anyone has genuine advice btw. How do you reject a girl you actually like a lot#And how should I even write her back. Because she said to and I'm the WORST at writing back#Sis this is stressing me off so much. I want to dig a hole and disappear in it. I'm not getting out of my room for the next six months.#(For context we live in the same students dorm)#random rambles#I'm so distressed right now this is the absolute worst.#Like I was pretty fine with where we were at but now I feel like I really don't want to spend time with her again for a long time.#Deleting this soon hopefully
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Sable pic spam bc I'm ridiculously attached to this buggy game
#never encountered this many bugs in one place before but fuck if it doesn't make it more delightful at times#personally I think Sable and teen Aloy would get along quite well even if they had entirely different experiences growing up#actually give me canon age Sable with kid Loy meeting Guard Eliisabet#yes I'm delusional why do you ask#lou plays#Sable#Sable game#fishing msy or may not be broken for me at this point rip. the last three times I tried my game just quit reacting to inputs#couldn't even enter the menu to quit out properly#and between when I saved yesterday after playing and starting up again today it just yeeted the last bit of progress#still not sure what all I lost and if I've managed to get it all back. not sure what will happen next time I play either#if I keep losing progress it may just ruin the fun a little even if I have managed to get almost all the trophies by now#anyway. 100/10 from me even if it's borderline unplayable sometimes. the rest of the time I love it to the ends of the earth#music is great. npcs are wonderful. story and lore are dope. protagonist is a relatable kiddo who you can't help but adore#(and relate to) and the hoverbike is my new child who I will cherish forever#also: the art. but that probably goes without saying. unless you don't like this style in which case I feel bad for you#bc you're missing out#but yeah. don't play unless you don't mind bugs fucking up your progress or geometry and textures going wrong at times#still think they should be working on fixing that mess but alas.. I doubt we'll get any updates of that sort#sometimes if you play too long the audio just.. leaves. as do the pick up / dialogue prompts#sometimes they don't show up even if you have only been playing a little while#some plants have dialogue prompts except they don't do anything. the bucket side quest or whatever got scrapped#but the buckets all still have pickup prompts... anyway. it's a mess. but a lovable one
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But would you tho (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Schuldig#ZEX#And again the Captain implied from offscreen lol#Two little things ⪠One that Actually happened and one speculation lol#I really like Schuldig :D He's the likeable asshole type and his quirk is very well written :)#I love how he gets on Zelnick's case about his wishy-washy-ness in regards to xenophilia generally and ZEX specifically hehe#Zelnick has no good answer for him! It's so cute hehe <3#But then he turns right around and is wishy-washy himself!! I get the feeling his frustration stems a bit from relating hahaha#Or maybe Zelnick's uncertainty influenced him! It's not such an easy decision to make when you're staring down the barrel is it now :)#Openly attracted to Max's body and flattered by ZEX's personality and outright attraction to him in turn but the alien aspect is too much pf#Sure right okay lol - I have no skin in this game so I'll have to take his word for it haha#Secondarily speculating around ZEX's attraction and standards lol it sounds like an oxymoron but no he is actually a bit picky!#Yes he loves humans generally but he is actually tempered by what mind inhabits what body! It's so interesting to me!#I think it's especially funny how his various desires are in conflict with each other haha#Like it makes sense that he controls himself around Fwiffo - poor thing would have a heart attack - but he genuinely seems less attracted!#Which makes sense to me as well ⪠Spathi and VUX share several traits and were on the same side during the War so he's familiar with them#And he's specifically attracted to differences and novelty - it all lines up!#And then there's also his pride lol he tries to make more friends than enemies of course but he still gets petty and patronizing <3#If he's actually upset with someone /he's/ the one who would need convincing! It's all very interesting :3c#And then there's the matter of his own body vs. Max's body - he's so upset at the metaphysical implications of cloning his consciousness#I've never thought of ZEX in the context of the ''Would you fuck your clone'' questionnaire but I guess I know his answer now haha#Though I still wonder what his reaction would be to Max :0 He's probably not close enough to be ZEX but he is /a/ ZEX - of a sort#All his introspection about the body he's in has my mental ears perked haha - pity and worry for the potential life he's replacing#Discomfort at possibly being Max in some capacity including continuing to be in his body but also of overtaking his life entirely#And of being backed into a corner - Max is pitiful as well as pitiable! Neither of them want to be Max Vyer really#He loves humans but how far does that extend when push comes to shove ⪠It's been interesting watching him fumble through it :)
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winter 2k24, huh~~~~~~ _(:3 ăâ )_
#aaaaaa itâs coming out just a few days before the major compilation album huhâŚâŚ#amz.jp preorders have already started huh⌠man.#im gonna wait till the inevitable ani.mate preorders start⌠i want the (inevitable) bonus comic aaaaaaaaaaa#i hope the bonus will be relatively(?) wholesome⌠unlike whatâs probably in the actual manga u m.#i wonder if there will be another delay between the physical release and the digital release thoughâŚ#anyways place your bets what do you think the cover of vol 2 will look like?#im guessing itâd be a redraw of one of the other chorus stills from the mv#maybe the one where sheâs putting on makeup? since the flashback arcâs in this volume and all?#or maybe the âserves you right lolâ from the chorus with her fists by her chin?#(the second guess is âmainly bc i think the series is gonna be 3 vols long and so one chorus still for each vol cover checks out right~?)#highly unlikely though lmaoooo since there are tons of good stills to pick from⌠sheâs too cute#bc idk i really dont see the series dragging out for longer than 3 vols. esp since the flashback arc is already here#like. the protagâs flashback arcs usually appear some time around the climax of the story right?#so with the flashback in vol 2 that leaves enough time for a proper resolution in vol 3.#hereâs to hoping that the chizuchan manga is able to have a better ending that whatever nonsense we got from the [redacted] anime lmao#i d k i just want to see chizuchan vibing with her friends and some resolution with renren and concon in vol 3 is that too much to ask���#then again this is the same manga that had the events of ch 4 and the first 2/3 of ch 5 take place#so thereâs really no telling whatâll happen nextâŚ#in any case!!!!!! iâm terrified for ch 6 region lock release at the end of the month!!!!!#but⌠160 pages long⌠hmmmmmm. does that mean that ch 8 (at least) will be short? ch 5 alone takes up a little over 1/4 of the pagesâŚ#and ch 6 was released in 4 parts on li.ne manga (like ch5)⌠so thatâs prolly a long one tooâŚ#at this rate i think vol 2âs gonna come out before ch 7âs individual release⌠but⌠aaa.#i think i have the chizuchan mangaâs on the brain a little too much for my own good. i should start charging it rent up there#a n y w a y s kimikawaii mv surpassed lxlâs hallokiss mv in views yayyyyyyyyy keep it up nagisakun down with lxl!!!!!!#aight thatâs all from me for now. i think. i hope. yup. byeeeee#chizuutan chizpost
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this line paired with the fact that (if my spoilers were right anyway) peepers did the loveheart pupils thing directed toward hater . much to think about
#Which could mea#this probably makes no sense without the context Wgatever whatever i just need to talk about them#i know like the whole thing jsntheyre evil and they do awful things constantly Anyways but that part in the funk where peepers just keeps#doing increasingly bad things just to try and amuse hater a little bit and cheer him up#i keep thinking back to it and im like ough wow love is happening#love is alive in the evil fucking skull spaceship#and another thing about that episode . i dunno if the part with the van and peepers reuniting hater with what he originally loved about#villainy was like. the show maybe implying that peepers knew hater back then? like theyve known eachother since before hater had the whole#rest of the watchdog army and the ship . i think i love to think that he was with him since before that#omg that makes the watchdogs kinda sweet ..i dont want any other things i want my army to be just a bunch of your species that looks#identical to u#this shit is. so good.#ALSO BACK TO THEBORIFINAL TOPIC. in the scene where peepers does the heart thing bc of hater#from what ive seen of it it looks like theres like several layers not just the one heart that all the watchdogs got from the present#AND ANOTHER THING#im just wondering like. i know hater treats peepers badly too but the with the thing at the end about how wander made the watchdogs think#that it was hater giving them all the gifts and that was what made them so happy . cuz they usually get absolutely no validation from him at#all. i feel like that wouldnât like be the same in peepers case yknow. like heâs the only one who actually talks to hater and theyâre on lik#pretty sorta kinda casual acquantance terms compared to most of the watchdogs like hoping to ever have a conversation with hater intheirlife#ok thats it#Oh jesus thats a big tag ramble. hokay
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#âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..#heyyyy is it normal to uhhhhhhh#love ur best friend so much that u wonder if what ur calling platonic is actually what most people call romantic and maybe your#ambivalence towards fucking has less to do with who you are or arenât attracted to and is more just a general ambivalence#except in some cases when ur obviously h*rny for a specific person but like#that hasnât really happened in forever so who cares#but anyway all of these things together is like. maybe if you were not convinced#that dating monogomously is a horrible idea for you#and also didnât feel so attached to your lesbian identity that it wouldnât feel weird to date someone transmasc#that you would probably call what you are feeling for your best friend rn. being in love with them. and would probably attempt to#do something about it#coolllllll#p
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I donât really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#itâs getting better but only now that itâs like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause thereâs a concert going on nearby which#usually means weâre at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldnât go in because well. you know#Iâve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didnât go this overboard I donât totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing thatâs kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of itâs just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but itâs also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didnât have the spirit Iâd hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isnât FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadnât been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that wouldâve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I couldâve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know iâd suck your dick right now if you wanted
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