#got his card yesterday and had to draw how it felt like LOL

[szilverer]

happy holidays flumblr. have a silly doodle that got out of hand

[starshine583]

New Girl on the Block (17)

(sorry for the late update everyone! I spent time with family this weekend and got a little side tracked lol anyway, please enjoy chapter 17 of “New Girl on the Block” and as always, feel free to check out the mini series connected to this called Journal Entries!)

Ch.1 / Ch.16 / Ch.18 (ao3)

Chapter 17: Subtlety Is Key

The platform ladder that Marinette was standing on sat firmly in Felix’s grip as he watched her attempt to pin a stream of hearts to the wall. She appeared to be having trouble deciding which angle was best, moving her end of the stream up and down while staring at the other end, which was already pinned up, and squinting. He half wondered if she was going to take this long on every stream of hearts she pinned up, since she'd been doing the same up-and-down motion for a while now, but he also didn’t mind waiting if she did. The longer he stood here, the better his chances were of escaping the task of writing those “thank you” cards that Allegra liked to put in her party favors. She always managed to rope him into it, saying that his handwriting was the best amongst them, which, in truth, it was, but why not save the trouble and type out the message on the computer in a curly font? Surely, it would have the same effect.

“Felix, does this look straight to you?”

Felix dragged his gaze back up to Marinette, who was frowning at the spot that she’d finally decided to stop on. The stream of hearts hung to her right, making a nice curve on the wall that looked fine, but he wouldn’t be able to say for certain until he acquired a level, which they didn’t have.

“As straight as it can get, I imagine.” He replied. Even if it was a tad off, the guests would hardly notice. They’ll be too busy mingling and dancing around.

A sigh fell from the ravenette, and she lowered the hearts to give him a tired look. “How is that supposed to help me?”

“Well, it’s definitely not straight now. Does that help?”

Marinette pressed her lips into a thin line, obviously disgruntled, and Felix clenched his jaw to avoid smiling. Perhaps he should wait until she got off the ladder to continue. She might kick him in the face otherwise.

“Why are you here if you’re not going to be useful?” She grumbled, turning back to the wall.

A snort escaped Felix’s lips. “I am being useful. I’m holding the ladder so you don’t fall and break your neck.”

“Bold of you to assume I won’t fall whether the ladder is steady or not.”

“Which is another reason why I’m here.” He replied smoothly. “To catch you.”

Marinette hummed, glancing down at him from the corner of her eye. “How kind of you.”

“Yes, it really is, isn’t it?”

She breathed out a small laugh and shook her head, coaxing a smirk from Felix as well. 

It’s been about a week since they stayed up all night talking at Allegra’s house, since things between them changed, since things with him changed. He couldn’t quite place what had caused it, except that it was most definitely her. The way she listened to him wholeheartedly throughout the entire night, hanging on his every word, offering support when needed and trading a few stories herself- It made him feel heard, which was immensely strange. Because he’d been heard before, plenty of times in fact. It was nothing new. So why was that night different? Was it because of the soft atmosphere that the moon provided? Or because they were both somewhat tired despite saying otherwise? Why did his entire being feel so clear and refreshed when they went up to bed later on?

Whatever happened, he’d assumed that the feeling would be gone by morning, since nighttime conversations hardly travel to the next day, but imagine his surprise when the feeling swelled full force in his chest the next day, specifically when he greeted Marinette in the hall. It was as crystal clear as the night before, and it had yet to fade even now. 

Felix didn’t understand. Not at all. But he certainly wasn’t going to dispute it. He actually began encouraging the feeling, talking with Marinette on a more constant basis, muttering in her direction during conversations, asking more casual questions, throwing around a joke or two about the others when it seemed appropriate- he even found himself teasing her at one point, which led him to the wonderful realization that Marinette Dupain-Cheng was much sassier than he’d given her credit for. Despite her surprise, she’d snapped back immediately, a playful glare in her eyes and a smirk on her lips, and with an unexpected reaction like that, Felix couldn’t not tease her more. That would simply be a waste.

In the following week, he continued to talk with her, and continued to learn how much of a wild card she truly was. She never reacted to his teasing the same way. For example, one minute, she would blush, the next she would smack him, or roll her eyes and shoot right back without a second thought, or even pout. There was no telling what she was going to do next, and Felix eagerly anticipated her next move each time. It was fun for him now, fun to talk with her, fun to see her smirks and glares and giggles when he did. He could understand why Claude, Allegra, and Allan would want to talk with everyone and anyone if they all acted like her.

Their dynamic had definitely changed over the last few days, and although he wasn’t sure how much Marinette had noticed it herself, Felix knew he was thoroughly enjoying the shift. 

“There.” Marinette said above him, leaning back to put her hands on her hips. “How’s that?”

Felix’s eyes glazed over the stream of hearts again, and he let out a hum. “A bit more to the left.”

Her shoulders drooped. “Are you serious?”

“No.”

The narrowed yet playful glare that she shot him had Felix holding back another chuckle, and he innocently moved to grab one of the pink, inflated balloons on the table next to them to hand it to her.

“Why do I ask you anything anymore?” She asked as she took the balloon from him. 

“Because you know I’m an excellent judge when it comes to fine craftsmanship, such as the stream of hearts hanging above us on the wall right now.”

Marinette scoffed, tacking the balloon to the wall just above the first decoration. “What, are you kissing up to me now? Are you trying to butter me up so I’ll bring you more cheesy croissants?”

Felix shot her a look of feigned offense. “I wouldn’t dream of it, not after the amount of pain and effort that went into the making of those decorations.”

Now she was glaring at him. “Exactly how long do you plan on holding that paper cut against me?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.” Felix replied, a slight smile betraying his lips as he did.

Marinette huffed, letting her eyes flick up in an eyeroll, and started back down the ladder. Felix moved back to let her off, before grabbing the ladder again to lift it over to the next wall. They still had two more streams to put up.

“You seem to be more present today.” He commented, thinking back on the get-together they had yesterday. She’d been lost in her own thoughts through the first part of it, so much so that Allegra felt the need to ask her if she was alright. Marinette didn’t get to answer due to Claude jumping in, but when Felix asked her about it again a bit later, she quickly froze up, saying that she’d rather keep it to herself for the time being. 

Felix understood, of course, and he said as much, but that didn’t stop him from being curious. Or even a bit concerned. She always had a specific look when that model was involved, and she’d worn it openly yesterday. Therefore, he could only assume that that was part of the trouble, but how much trouble? Did they run into each other again? Did he text her? Did he go looking for her somewhere? There were too many possibilities and not enough clues for Felix to draw a firm conclusion. He couldn’t even be sure that Agreste was the problem in the first place. 

“Did your troubles sort themselves out?” He added, trying not to look at her too much as he did. Felix didn’t want to pry, but he did want to make sure she was handling herself alright. (Not that that was really in question at this point. After that run-in with the akuma, they all knew quite well that Marinette could take care of things when she needed to.)

Marinette paused at the base of the ladder, tilting her head at him with a questioning glance. “My troubles?”

A slight frown tugged at the corner of Felix’s lips. Had she forgotten already? It must not have been that important, then..

“You said something was bothering you yesterday.” He said anyway.

“Oh!” Understanding washed over her features, but a grimace quickly followed. “Oh.”

Felix rose a brow. Did that mean the problem wasn’t resolved?

“Um.. no.” She said, offering a bit of clarity as she fiddled with the next stream of hearts that they were supposed to be hanging up. “No, it’s still very much there, unfortunately. I’m not sure how everything’s going to work out yet.”

Felix nodded. “I see. I apologize for bringing it up, then.”

“No, no, you’re fine.” She insisted as she climbed the ladder. “I know you were just trying to help.”

“Besides,” Marinette threw another smile over her shoulder, one that was clearly softer than the smirks she’d been giving him earlier, “if it gets to be too much, I’m sure you’ll come to rescue again. So you can have something else to brag about.”

Felix’s eyes widened, admittedly knocked off balance by the comment. Joking about being rescued wasn’t entirely unusual, but ‘again’? What did she mean ‘again’? Did she think he rescued her before? When? Why did he find himself feeling immensely pleased with the thought?

“Of course..” He muttered absently. “I do love to brag, you know.”

It was a bland remark to be sure, not nearly one of his best, but Marinette laughed anyway, as she always did, and turned back around to start pinning the next stream of hearts to the wall.

Felix continued to watch.

~~~~~~

Bzzt. Bzzt.

Adrien lunged for his phone, unlocking it with his fingerprint before it could even finish vibrating, and tapped the notification. Was it her? Had she finally decided to text him? Please let it be her!

A news app flashed onto his screen, and his shoulders sagged as he realized that Marinette hadn’t texted him. How long was she going to wait? It’s already been a full day, and winter break was fading fast. He knew these things could take time, but they honestly didn’t have a lot of that right now. Once school started up again, his schedule was going to go right back to packed, and he’d barely be able to breathe let alone go see her. He didn’t want their precious chance to hang-out to go to waste. 

“You good, dude?” Nino asked next to him. “You’ve been hovering around your phone all day. Is something going on?”

“Oh, uh-” Adrien sat up, pushing away his phone and disappointment. Marinette was going to text him eventually. He just needed to be patient. “No, everything’s fine. Père just likes to stay in touch with me while I’m out, so I want to make sure I don’t miss any text messages or anything.”

Nino frowned. “Isn’t sending Gorilla with you enough?”

Adrien shrugged. “Yeah, but you know how he is. He likes to stay on top of things.”

Disgruntlement flicked across Nino’s features, and he tugged his hat down slightly to hide it, muttering, “Or he just likes to control everything.”

Adrien smiled despite the comment. “Come on, he’s not that bad. He let us hang out today, right?”

Nino nodded, though his frown didn’t fade. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.. Just don’t let him distract you from our game. We still have a tie to break.”

Adrien straightened and grabbed the controller that he’d dropped earlier. “Course not! Père or no, I still have plenty of focus to beat you.”

Nino let out a playful scoff. “Sure, dude. We’ll see who beats who this time.”

Adrien chuckled and positioned himself on the couch, and the two jokingly counted down before starting the next match.

Keeping Nino in the dark about Marinette wasn’t something Adrien enjoyed- they were best friends, after all -but he didn’t want to risk talking about her now. The class was only just now starting to be suspicious of Lila, and even then, it was light, joking. They weren’t serious about it yet. If they knew he was meeting up with Marinette, the person they still weren’t entirely fond of, it might serve as a disadvantage to him. What if they stopped listening to him because he was talking with her? He couldn’t take that chance. He needed to get his feet planted firmly on the ground before taking any rash steps forward.

That said, he did need to take some sort of step forward. Lila trying to make a deal with him last week was extremely reassuring, since it meant that she herself thought of him as a threat, but he also knew that he couldn’t slack off because of it. Muttering over her shoulder wasn’t going to work forever, and if he didn’t find a way to crank up the pressure soon, she would start countering his subtle attacks. Maybe he could start talking to people directly? While they were alone. He could talk to them more about Lila and ask if her stories are suspicious.. But what if he talks to the wrong person? Depending on who he conversed with, they might round on him in an instant, and his plan would crumble again. No, he needed to be careful about this. He needed to start with someone he could trust.

“....So,” Adrien glanced at Nino, because who better to start with than his best friend? “what are your thoughts on Lila?”

If Adrien wanted to change everyone’s opinion of Marinette and Lila, he supposed he would have to know those opinion’s first, and Nino, he felt, was the perfect candidate for that. He was a chill, relaxed person, who pretty much liked everybody. (Everybody except Adrien’s father, that is.) His opinion of Lila should be similar to an average of everyone else’s opinion, and Adrien could use that as an estimation of Lila’s- hopefully decreasing -popularity.

Nino scrunched up his nose, clearly confused by the change of subject. “Lila? I mean, she’s alright. Pretty nice. Alya really likes her.”

Adrien nodded thoughtfully. That was about what he expected him to say. “What do you think about her stories? It seems like she’s been everywhere, doesn’t it?”

Nino snorted. “Right? She says she knows everybody and anybody. It’s pretty crazy.”

Adrien’s eyes widened slightly, though Nino didn’t notice. ‘She says she knows everybody’? Not ‘she knows everybody’? If Adrien didn’t know any better, he might say that sounded a little bit like doubt.

“You don’t believe her?” He asked, carefully.

“No, no, I do.” Nino rushed to say, ignoring the game console that was now blinking ‘defeat’ on his side. “It’s just.. you know.. crazy. She’s been all over the world, knows all these different people, and she’s only fifteen. And she kept up with the school the whole time. It sounds like a lot.”

“Yeah, it definitely does.” Adrien agreed, setting his controller aside and hiding a smile. “And now, she’s been taking up the job as class president, even though she’s still planning charity events and working at homeless shelters and hanging out with Alya and the rest of the girls and doing homework.. It makes you wonder how she fits it all into her schedule.”

Nino chuckled. “Yeah, I- It’s.. I don’t know. I definitely couldn’t do it. What about you, though? What do you think about her? You seem to be really interested in her lately.”

Adrien had to bite the inside of his cheek to avoid laughing. Interesting was a word.

“Ah, well.. I guess I’m just curious about her more than anything. I’m a model who goes places and meets people all the time, and I haven’t met nearly as many famous people as she has. I wanna learn how she’s managed to not get in any news or magazines so far-”

Bzzt. Bzzt.

Adrien paused mid-word to whirl around and check his phone. He was honestly preparing himself for the disappointment already- why would this time be any different? -when his eyes landed on the tiny speech bubble that represented his text messaging app. His insides leaped at this sight, and he tried to swallow his excitement as he tapped the notification. Was it her? Had she finally texted him?

Marinette’s name splayed across the top of the screen, and it took every ounce of discipline for Adrien not to leap off the couch and cheer. She’d texted him! Marinette had finally texted him back!

~Hey, sorry it took me so long to text you. I’ve been helping my friends out with something. If you want, I can meet up with you at (something) café for lunch on Feb. 15th? Does that work for you?~

Lunch! Adrien wanted to scream. She was inviting him to lunch! Marinette did want to hang out with him more! This was perfect!

He quickly texted her back. 

~That sounds great! I’ll see you then ;D~

Adrien hadn’t even checked his schedule yet, but that didn’t matter. He was making this lunch date no matter what. Then he could talk with Marinette about his plans and maybe convince her to come back and-

“Was that your dad?” Nino asked, breaking Adrien from his thoughts yet again. That was probably a good thing though. He shouldn’t be getting too ahead of himself. From the way things looked, Marinette was really enjoying her new school life. It will probably take a lot of convincing to get her to come back. For now, he needed to take things slowly.

Slowly.

“Oh, yeah.” Adrien said, cool as a cucumber. “He was just telling me about my next photoshoot.”

“Another one? It’s not going to stop us from hanging out, is it?”

“No, no, it shouldn’t.” Not that he knew of, anyway. The only thing his meeting with Marinette would hopefully affect was everyone’s opinions of Lila. 

Nino relaxed slightly at the answer. “Good. He over-works you way too much. You should ask for a raise or something.”

 Adrien laughed. “I think I’d rather keep the time off that he gives me. Anyway, you ready to play another round? You lost, so now you have to catch back up.”

Nino eyed his controller with a slight smile. “Whatever, man, you know I’m gonna pass you up without a problem.”

“Sure you are.” Adrien smirked. “Just like how you were gonna pass me up last round.”

Nino laughed and snatched his controller up. “Oh, it’s on, dude.”

~~~~~~

Allegra drew in a deep breath, reveling in the scent of the special candles she’d ordered. Patchouli and Rosewood- the perfect thing to accentuate the rose bouquets delicately placed on the round tables and encourage the romantic mood for their party. With the lights dimmed and everyone dancing together on top of that, hearts were bound to be captured, and she couldn’t wait to see it, especially when it came to a particular pair.

Allegra set her candle down and subtly glanced over her shoulder at Felix and Marinette, who were currently stringing up the last stream of hearts on the other side of the room. They were both laughing and talking together, completely comfortable as Felix held the ladder steady and Marinette pinned her last balloon at the end of the stream. It was a cliché couple, really- the stoic, uptight rich boy falling hard for the sweet, adorable bakery girl -but Allegra was determined to see it work out. She’s always prided herself on getting unlikely people together, and these two were going to be her ultimate achievement. Of course, at this point, she supposed she could hardly call them an unlikely couple. They’ve been rather in-step with each other as of late. What with their muttering to each other during group-hang outs and sharing secret looks and sitting near each other on a regular basis. She might be inclined to be excited for the progress if she had any idea as to why they were suddenly so close. Last week, Felix was still gritting his teeth about being caught looking at Marinette, yet today, he’s talking and smiling and laughing with her openly. Laughing! Felix doesn’t laugh. He scowls and hisses and maybe smirks when he’s in a good mood, but he doesn’t laugh. Something monumental must have happened between the two that would encourage him to do so. So what was it? When was it? Her entire body was itching to know, and the fact that she knew she couldn’t ask only made it worse. If she tried to ask Felix about the event, he might clam up again, regressing the friendship. If she tried to ask Marinette about the event, the ravenette would probably become flustered or more hyper aware of Felix’s subconscious advancements, which, again, would probably regress the friendship. She was stuck either way.

“They’re driving me crazy.” She finally said, knowing the boys would hear her. If she couldn’t confirm her theories about Felix and Marinette’s interactions, she would rant about them to Claude and Allan instead.

As usual, Claude was the first to respond, glancing up from the party favors she had him arranging to ask, “What? Who’s driving you crazy?”

Allegra turned to him with a sigh and tilted her head ever-so-slightly in the “lovebirds’” direction. “They are. They’re acting differently than they were before, and I don’t know why.”

Claude straightened to glance over her shoulder for a moment, his brows furrowing slightly.

“You mean Felix and Marinette? They look the same to me.”

Allegra scrunched up her nose with a scoff. “What do you mean they look the same? You think Felix just laughs like that on a regular basis?”

Allan wandered over to their conversation then, also watching Marinette and Felix. The blond and ravenette didn’t even look up from the hearts on the wall, which was another big sign that they were becoming increasingly engrossed in each other. Felix was normally highly aware of his surroundings, as was Allegra, and he usually would have noticed the trio’s stares by now. But he didn’t, because he was too busy looking at Marinette instead.

“They have been a bit chummy lately.” Allan agreed, bringing a smile to Allegra’s lips. At least someone besides herself was paying attention.

“Well, yeah, but we knew that already.” Claude said. “They like each other, don’t they? Of course they would be chummy.”

“Yes, but not like that.” Allegra insisted. “Whether Felix likes her or not doesn’t change the fact that he’s technically being open around all of us right now. Isn’t that a bit strange to you? Besides, we still don’t actually know for sure that Marinette has a crush on Felix.”

Claude gave her a look. “What? I thought you said that she got all blushy and stuff when you talked about Felix at the sleepover.”

“She was, but Marinette gets blushy about a lot of things. And I was talking about how comfortable Felix is around her. That would probably make any girl blush.”

“She has a point,” Allan spoke up, “but I do think she might like him. She always gets this certain vibe when he’s around.”

“Oh, it’s definitely a possibility.” Allegra agreed. “You can totally spot the little ‘glow’ she gets when he talks with her, and even that’s improved since Felix changed things up.”

Claude’s eyes widened as he glanced at the pair again, seeming to study them closer this time. “Do you think she’s glowing more because he’s changed?”

“I’d say so,” Allegra answered, tapping her finger to her lip, “But what I want to know is why he changed and when. It can’t have been anything short of last week, because they only started acting this way recently, but what could have happened that we didn’t see? We’ve been with them the whole time.”

“Maybe they’ve been hanging out by themselves?” Allan suggested. “They’re not tied to us, you know.”

“I know, but wouldn’t we have heard about it? Marinette sends us pictures and such all the time. She would have mentioned her and Felix hanging out by themselves.”

Unless Marinette simply didn’t want to offend them, but Allegra still didn’t buy that explanation. As far as she knew, Felix and Marinette’s shift happened sometime after the sleepover, if not right after. It was as though they’d fallen asleep as usual, then woke up as different people entirely when it came to each other. So whatever happened must have happened during the sleepover.. but when? They were all together most of the night. Allegra supposed it could have happened during Hide and Seek, when they were all spread across the mansion, but moments like those were too quick and too tense and she certainly would have noticed Felix’s change in behavior then. That left her with.. A dead end, because the rest of the night, Marinette and Felix were always with one of the trio, even when they were all sleeping.

Unless the two hadn’t been sleeping..

“I don’t think we should overthink it.” Allan said, lightly nudging his shoulder into Allegra’s. “Marinette seems happier around Felix, and Felix is definitely happier around Marinette, so I say we take the win and let them keep getting closer on their own.”

“I agree.” Claude chimed in, surprising Allegra. He normally enjoyed meddling in others’ affairs as much as she did. “If they’ve made it this far without us getting too involved, they're bound to confess to each other at tomorrow’s party, especially with the ‘fake date’ we have planned for them.”

A smile found its way back onto Allegra’s lips. So he did intend to meddle. He just didn’t want to overthink Felix and Marinette’s sudden progress. She should have known. 

“That reminds me: I still have to finish arranging that.” Allegra remarked.

She spun on her heel, leaving the boys to their tasks again, and began crossing the room to Felix and Marinette. Their chuckles and smiles quieted down as she approached, but she paid it no mind. Felix was mostly the one to stop laughing, anyway.

“Are you guys all done?” Allegra inquired, not missing the way Felix gently touched Marinette’s arm to help her get off the ladder.

Marinette flashed her a smile. “Yep! We just finished the last streamer. What’s next?”

Allegra let out a hum. “Well, Felix still has to write all of those ‘thank you’ letters for the party favors-”

A tired sigh left the blond.

“-and we have to set up the caterer’s foods, but they aren’t coming in till tomorrow. So I think we’re pretty much done. Claude and Allan are just now finishing their last tasks too.”

“Oh, good!” Marinette beamed. “The place looks great already. I can’t wait to see everyone’s reactions tomorrow.”

Allegra smiled. “Neither can I. By the way, since everything’s practically set up, you two can go ahead and stay home until the party starts. That way you both have time to get ready.”

A hint of concern flicked across the ravenette’s features as she knitted her eyebrows together. “Are you sure? I don’t mind coming in early with you guys.”

“I do,” Felix cut in, a slight smirk on his lips as he added, “and I will gladly take the extra free time.”

Allegra smirked as well, because she knew that comment had to be for Marinette’s viewing pleasure. He wouldn’t have had a smirk otherwise, nor would he have held that mischievous glint in his eyes.

Of course, Marinette breathed out a chuckle and briefly rolled her eyes, capturing Felix’s attention immediately. She then offered Allegra a meaningful smile. 

“Well, if you change your mind, you can always text me.”

“Of course, but in case I don’t, why don’t you have Felix pick you up for the party tomorrow? Since you’re both not going to be arriving until later.”

Marinette and Felix exchanged a look, as though they were silently asking each other’s opinions, and Allegra had to hold back a snort. They were already reading each other and communicating in their own way. It was too cute and all too obvious. How did Claude not notice the difference earlier?

“I wouldn’t mind if you need a ride,” Felix finally spoke, pulling his shoulders up in a slight shrug, “but it’s your decision.”

Allegra swallowed a coo and glanced to the side, because this person in front of her who used to be dead-set on not helping anyone or scowling the whole way was being incredibly considerate, and she desperately needed a before-and-after video.

Marinette smiled up at him. “A ride would be nice, thanks. That way I don’t have to bother Maman or Papa about taking me at the end of their work shift.”

It was just the answer Allegra wanted to hear. Felix will be the first one to see Marinette in her new dress, and he will have plenty of time to become flustered over it during their drive to the party. Missing Felix’s face when he went to fetch Marinette was going to be a shame- since he himself mentioned how stunning she would look -but if they were lucky, perhaps he’ll still be wearing the expression when the two arrive.

“Great! I’ll call my driver so we can start getting ready to leave then.” Allegra said with a smile.

Marinette nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll go grab my purse and put up the ladder.”

“I’ll put up the ladder.” Felix cut in, already moving to close it. 

A frown tugged at the corner of her lips. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. They like their tools to be put back a certain way.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks, then.”

Allegra watched Marinette walk off, feeling a fresh wave of determination.. Gosh, they were already acting like they were in love with each other. Well, Felix was at least. Marinette was about that kind to anyone. Either way, things were going smoothly now, and it should only take a carefully-timed push for the two to really get the ball rolling. 

Valentine’s Day, Marinette and Felix being dressed up, both of them being alone together while dressed up, the sudden closeness- finally, all of her plans were coming together. The only thing that could possibly make this better was if Cupid himself came out to see them swoon over each other. 

That wasn’t going to happen, of course, but it didn’t need to, because Allegra was going to be glad to take his place.

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[sweetestlamb]

Lighting Up Your World Part 2

Episode 18 

Author’s notes: THANK YOU!!!!!  I’ll start there, thank you guys for your overwhelming support on part 1 that I posted yesterday. You guys make me feel like such a great writer, hearing that some of you cried because of something I wrote. incredible. This part is shorter because I was a bit strapped for time and I scrapped  a vast amount the original version I had because I got new ideas and I just didn’t feel like the other version was enough or had the feeling I wanted. Anyway, I hope you guys still enjoy Part 2 aka Episode 18. Tell me your favorite line in the comments, I just think that would be cute hehe lol. *Plays “Lighting Up Your World”  ♫ ♫

He remembers the exact moment that he purchased the ring, its sparkling brilliance from under the glass display, he imagined it sitting on her dainty fingers taking the place of her many other decorative rings. He imagined her face has he placed it on her finger. The store associate had wondered over to him with a knowing smile on his face, as if he knew that look very well, had seen it on the lovesick faces of countless men. After a few minutes of rapid questioning, he walked out with the precious stone in his possession, nerves shooting up and down his veins until he felt like a ball of anxiety.  The ring heavy as lead in his pocket as he staggered home in a daze, in disbelief at what he'd done.

When he had come home to the castle, he could feel the ring burning a hole through the pocket of his jeans. His heart pattering away, erratic in his chest. He avoided eye contact with Mun-yeong as she greeted him at the door, candied smile welcoming home as she eagerly pulling him into the house demanding that he play with her. 

She hadn’t been amused by his suggestion of cards.

Viciously pushing him in the wall and latching onto his neck like a leech. Hours later, he stumbled out of bed panting as he stealthily hid the box in the bottom of his drawer,covering it with mounds of clothes before tiptoeing into his bed alongside his brother dreaming of Mun-yeong in pristine white walking down an aisle that was laden with soft pink rose petals that matched the hue of her lips. He woke up saying "I do." Relieved that his brother was a relatively deep sleeper and hadn't heard his slip of tongue.

The sounds of nature, birds chirping and the wind rustling leaves pulled him from the sandman's hold, as he blinked awake, rubbing the remnants of sleep from his eyes. Immediately he noticed the lack of pressure on his arm, too light without her head cushioned on his bicep as she used him as her personal pillow. He had long stopped trying to get her to use a pillow, she was adamant that his arms were a perfect substitute. A wave of pride blossomed in his chest every time she would stroke a finger across the bulging muscle, humming in approval, openly appreciating his body.

Stumbling to the bathroom he groggily brushes his teeth before hopping in the shower to wash off the sweat that lingered from being pressed against her flesh all night. After changing into his outfit, another t-shirt and jeans with sneakers, he’s a creature of habit. He walks out of the camping can eyes scouting for his missing girlfriend before finding her over the open grill, poking at the meat she's grilling, tongue poking out slightly as she impatiently waits for their tenderness.

What he doesn't expect to see is a little helper on her side, Min-jo, sits in the chair right next to her, eagerly watching the meat as it grills, babbling away at Mun-yeong, who for the most part looks content in the child's presence.

"How do I pick the people I put in my family?" Her innocent voice lifts with curiosity as she peers up at Mun-yeong, eyes shining brightly with young hope and naivete. "What age will I be ready to choose my family?"

With a sigh he watches Mun-yeong bring a slightly underdone piece of beef to her mouth, she's always too impatient to wait for food to reach its necessary temperature for consumption, higher internal heat his ass. The juices from the meat run down the side of her mouth, and he's left feeling like he's watching a lioness in the wild, lethal and it is majestic.

"Didn't I already tell you to stop following me? I don't have any answers for you." She dismissively responds, looking exasperated clearly this isn't her first time hearing and rebuking this question.

He coughs to announce his arrival, watching both their eyes snap up to settle on him, one pair with adoration the other disinterest then glee. 

Min-jo greets him first, "Hi, Mr.Prince!" She waves enthusiastically at him, little hand looking like it could take flight at any moment, he blushes at his new moniker, glaring at Mun-yeong who smirks at the intended response.

"You don't need to call me that, remember I told you my name." He answers sheepishly rubbing his neck.

"But Ms. Witch told me that you and your brother, who is an illustrator saved her from her castle and then you lived happily ever after. I never knew that princes could save witches." She says the last sentence with pure wonder, sighing softly.

"Only if they're pretty princes just can't resist a pretty witch. They follow them wherever they go." Mun-yeong teasingly eyed him, images of young Gang-tae happily trailing after a dispassionate Mun-yeong playing out in both of their memories.

"Well I didn't exactly save her from the castle, I just lived there with her. Together, we made it happier. We became a family and a family has to live together, so they can lean on each other and not do pointless work." Mun-yeong scoffs at his reminder of Sang-tae's story, rolling her eyes affectionately at him.

"That sounds nice. And now you live on a house on wheels. I've never seen one before." She eyes the camping van, as he approaches them taking the last chair, on the left with Mun-yeong in the center.

"How long have you two been here?"

"This brat came here an hour ago, I keep telling her to go away but she won't listen. " She hands his a bowl of food and he notes with barely concealed amusement that a smaller bowl is aggressively placed in Min-jo's grasping hands.

"Thank you Miss Witch!" Min-jo chirps sweetly, scarfing down the food without another word.

Mun-yeong watches her before devouring her own food, her leg brushing against his when she sways into his body heat, a morning chill lingering in the air, as he glances at her and notices that she is wearing a short cotton romper, soft blue with white speckles splashed across the material. Drastic shift from yesterday's funeral best, he smiles at the implications. He wraps an arm around her shoulder drawing her into his heat, her hum of satisfaction rumbling through his body.

Min-jo's chopsticks clink on the bowl as she asks, "If you two share a brother, does that mean you are brother and sister?" His cheeks redden at the inquisitive child.

"No. He's my boyfriend, we share his brother."

"Oh." She easily accepts before adding to his embarrassment, "What do you do with a boyfriend?"

He whips his head to stare at Mun-yeong willing her not to ruin the innocence of a child, she looks back at him with a straight face before answering, "Well a lot of fun things. Sometimes we kiss, he likes that a lot and sometimes we even--"

"Yah!" He pinches her arm, hard.

She slaps him in retaliation, pouting as she soothes her pained skin, "I was going to say hug and hold hands. Why did you pinch me?"

He doesn't believe her for one second, her filter non-existent indiscriminate of the audience.

He glares at her until she resumes eating her food, ignoring the rest of Min-jo’s constant stream of questions. If she kept this up she could be an adept detective. 

Entertaining a child has never been a task he's been troubled with before and he worries his lip as he looks at the little girl bouncing in her chair with unfiltered glee. They’d made the mistake of feeding her and now she had a boundless amount of energy, unable to keep still for even a moment. 

"What should we do now Miss Witch?"

"I'm not here to entertain you. And he's my toy so you can't play with him." She juts her thumb in his direction, he admonishes at her statement arguing that he is not a toy. She nods unconvincingly as if his arguments are futile and she has already made up her mind.

"I'm bored." Min-jo continues, ignoring them. 

"Then leave."

"But I don't want to." She whines. 

"Then make your own fun."

Their bickering reminds him so much of Mun-yeong and Sang-tae tears prickle in his eyes as he decides to check on his brother. It's been two days since his abrupt departure, the longest they've been without each other. He softly announces that he'll her right back before disappearing into the van, their rising voices following him each step of the way.

I'm fine. I'm working and drawing. Stop worrying, have fun with Mun-yeong. Remember a kiss is better than a fight.

The highlights of his conversation with his older brother, who had answered on his third ring, rushing him off the phone because he was quote, "very booked and busy", he really needed to stop Mun-yeong from teaching his hyung her ridiculous slang. Especially phrases like that, that even he couldn't decipher. He had hummed along as if he wasn't completely lost before bidding Sang-tae goodbye.

He took a moment for himself before rejoining them outside, letting his brother's voice wash over him. He knew their relationship had a tinge of codependency but hadn't realized to what extent until their separation. This was good for them. Healthy. He knew that now.

It just hurt a little right now, but that was okay. Pain wasn't permanent.

The sounds of water splashing hit his ear drums as he jumps off the last step of the camping van, as if on autopilot he rushes to the lake, cold chill on his skin as he searches for Mun-yeong.

She stands on the bank of the lake. Safely out of reach, watching as Min-jo flaps her little arms wildly keeping herself afloat. She is helped by the presence of bright pink floaties on her arms, buoying her onto the surface of the wet escape.

"Can you come in the water Miss Witch?"

He watches Mun-yeong gaze at the water, fear bleeding into her irises before she blinks it away. Brief and clipped response, "No."

There is a pregnant pause, before the child continues, "Are witches afraid of water?"

Mun-yeong's eyes are cold as she looks at Min-jo, he watches the interaction enraptured in this achingly honest conversation encrypted in their own language.

"Yes."

He's releases a breath he didn't know he was hiding. Watching Min-jo nod at her response, "That's okay. Everyone is scared of something. I'm scared of being alone. But you said when I'm older I can find a family. Maybe one day you'll find a way to be in the water." She says it matter of fact, like she has no doubt that Mun-yeong will conquer this fear. 

The sun is no longer as high in the sky and the skyline begins to swirl into hues of pink, orange and yellow. Like a mad painter dragged their unwashed paintbrush across the surface. 

"I think it's time we took you back." His voice breaks their bubble as they turn to look at him. He smiles at them both, charmed by this little whirlwind who has bulldozed her way into Mun-yeong's path. Vaguely wondering what happens when a tornado and a hurricane meet? 

They walk back to the diner, Min-jo in the center and the eyes that land on them make him wonder if they look like a family, Min-jo had reached out to grasp their hands but Mun-yeong had slapped it away complaining of her dirty lake hands. The girl had only laughed before happily holding his hand instead before Mun-yeong broke between them, reminding her that he was her toy much to this chagrin.

The same older woman who had prevented Min-jo from following them the previous day, hastily bursts through the door as they draw close enough to be seen, her frantic voice shrill in the air, "Where have you been? Why did you leave without telling me? Are you okay?!" She grabs Min-jo, raptly checking her body for injuries, touching the wet hair on her head before looking at them angrily.

"Who are you? And why are you with this child?"

Min-jo beats them to answer, "This is the pretty witch and her prince." She beams at the woman, who looks taken back at the response.

He bows low in apology before continuing the explanation, "I'm Moon Gang-tae and this is my girlfriend Ko Mun-yeong. She came to find us we wanted to make sure she made it back safely."

She stares at him, scrutinizing his answer but once she sees that the girl is not harmed she sighs before accept his apology, "Okay. Thank you, I'm sorry for any trouble she caused you." She respectfully bows in return.

"You must have been really worried about her."

She freezes at his statement, looking down at Min-jo before averting her eyes, "No. I wasn't. I.....was just bothered thinking about her."

He raises an eyebrow at the defensive deflection.

"That's the same thing." Mun-yeong quips sharply.

The woman's eyes narrow but there is no argument.

They all stand in silence, the wind howls around them, darkness beginning to fall as the sun drifts into the water.

It is time for them to go. 

"Well this is goodbye, be well and stay safe." He bows once more, Mun-yeong waves once before turning away without another word to either. He shoots Min-jo an apologetic smile as her huge wet eyes follow Mun-yeong longingly.

Then she's ripping herself from the tight grip of the woman who cries at the action. She runs straight into Mun-yeong's back. Little feet thundering on the ground and she quickly closes the distance between them. 

"Wait."

Mun-yeong halts her movement, still facing away.

"Can....I?.." She stutters around the words that jumble in her mouth, eyes staring a hole in Mun-yeong's back, she must be impervious to its heat. After a long drawn out pause she bravely finishes her question, "Can I be apart of your family?" The hope laced in her voice batters at his heart, she's just a child who wants to be loved. Crying out for it. Begging for it.

"No."

Her little head bows in defeat, nodding as if she understands, nobody wants her and she doesn't belong anywhere.

She starts to walk back to the woman, all the previous joy and wonder sucked from every cell of her body. Walking as if a marionette on a string, stilted.

"We're leaving. A family needs to stay together, to lean on each other." Mun-yeong's voice causes her to pause mid step, a twinge warmer than it was earlier. The first day of spring after winter's bitter cold. "You should find a family that worries about you and who needs someone to lean on too. A family that will never leave you."

He watches as those huge eyes slowly travel until they land on the lady. She runs back to her, body trembling as she looks at her like she's seeing her for the first time. Eyes now able to see what has always been right in front of her. 

"Can we be a family?"

The woman gasps, turning her head away, eyes glistening. Min-jo reaches out and takes her hand, small palms appearing even tinier in the woman’s hold as she peers up hopeful once more.

He turns away before he can see the conclusion, walking away to fall into step with Mun-yeong, who turns to meet his gaze. He notices the tear streaks on her skin, fondly looking at her, falling ever more in love.

"How did it end?"

He shrugs, taking her hand, "I didn't stay. But I hope it's a happy ending."

"Me too." She squeezes his hand, tightly. 

******************************************************************************************

She wordlessly goes into the camping van announcing that she wants to take a nap. He nods at her, pressing a kiss to her wet cheek before letting her go.

He opens the box of supplies he bought days ago, nerves all but obliterated, he's never been surer of anything in his life. He works diligently but quietly, eyes tracking the door of the camping van to ensure Mun-yeong doesn't suddenly appear before he's done. As he finishes his last touches, he climbs the stairs of the camping van. Eyes softening at the sight of his girlfriend laying on his bed roll, snuggling into his night shirt. He coos at the rare and precious sight, loathing the idea of waking her.

The choice is taken from him when her lashes flutter open and her unfocused eyes land on him, she jumps up nonchalantly hiding the shirt behind her. He pretends not to see it, pointedly looking away from her. Before he beckons her up.

"Come with me."

He offers his hand, sees her in all blue glowing in the sun as she waited for him.

Once again, she takes his hand. It's just as sweet as the first time. His heart is giddy with love.

He contemplates asking her to close her eyes but ultimately decided against it, he wants her to see and relish every moment.

Her small gasp as he pushes the door open makes his heart tremble and do a back-flip, bouncing all around the cavities of his chest. She looks around astonished at the scene, the faint twinkling of the fairy lights that adorn the camping van, blinking rhythmically, like stars that fell from the sky, the long winding path of rose petals that lead to a blanket that is topped with a bountiful basket and a bucket with wine.

"Wow."

She turns to look at him, eyes glossy and shining under the luminescence of the fairy lights. "What is this?"

He doesn't answer her question, actions have always spoken louder than words for him. He escorts her down the path of petals, softly crunching under their feet. Until they reach the blanket and he helps her sit before lowering himself next to her.

He opens the basket, removing all the food he purchased and hid away, small sandwiches and fresh fruits. He plucks a strawberry out before pressing it to her lips, "Open up." The dark desire that rolls through her eyes makes his body flush in return. She obeys silently, wrapping her lips around the soft flesh of the berry, biting down, relishing at the flavor before swallowing. She feeds him a slice of honey dew in return, fingers dragging across his lips bewitchingly.

They consume the rest of the food in silence, feeding themselves and each other in equal turns. Before he pours them both a bottle of the cheap wine he was able to purchase in a liquor store in the town. Her eyes never leave his face as she drinks the wine, captivated by his every move.

"Are you full?" He whispers not wanting to interrupt the calm that has settled like a warm blanket over them.

"Yes, I'm no longer hungry." Intentional pause, as her eyes lock on his lips. "For food."

Adjusting himself in his pants he ignores her tempting offer, for now. The main event is still around the corner and he needs all his wits for that.

Taking her hand in his large palms, he rubs his thumb along the soft skin, gazing into her eyes with his own laid open, wanting her to see everything he feels.

"Mun-yeong, I love you. I love who I am with you, who I've become with you, I want to be with you always."

She blinks at his words, words escape her as she stares at him. He doesn't give her a chance to flounder much more, pulling out what he had hidden in his pocket and placing it in her hand.

The button eyes of the nightmare doll, glow under the moonlight and she looks down at the thing she once dismissed as "ugly crap", now a prized possession.

"Mang-tae?..."

"I'm still a coward a little, he's going to help me tell you a message." He guides her eyes to the scroll sticking from the pouch, all too similar to her concealed message to him.

She slowly pulls the paper from the sack, hands trembling as she unfurls it and reads the message written. She's a fast reader, incredibly so, he knows that and the message is fairly short yet she stares at it for what feels like hours, maybe even years, time is relative in the moment.

She reads the message again and again and again and again and again. 

Before she finally puts it down. Then the tears come, easily, flowing like a river, soaking the neck of her romper and she lets them fall, doesn't interrupt their journey, allows herself this brief moment of vulnerability.

She's never looked more beautiful in his eyes.

He tells her so, "You look so beautiful. I want to see this face until I die."

Without a word she places Mang-tae tenderly on the blanket, before crawling into his arms, wrapping her own around his neck and she answers his question with a kiss. Their lips crash together with enough force to knock him backwards, dragging her with him as they tumble on the blanket.

Her tongue prods at his mouth and he eagerly allows her entrance, moaning at the sweet flavor of strawberry that floods his taste buds, sucking her tongue into his mouth to get more. His hands rub at the exposed skin of her back, traveling down to squeeze her soft lush ass, bringing their pelvis in contact. She grinds down sensually on his erection, moaning at the hot sensation. He pulls the tie holding her romper together, pulling back from the kiss to strip her bare. She resembles a wood nymph naked underneath the smattering of stars in the inky sky, the forest rustles around them.

While he's lost in the glory of her body, she undresses him, pulling his shirt over his head and pressing hot open kisses against his stomach, before unbuttoning his pants and pulling them own with his boxers in one firm tug. Then she hungrily gazes at his body, hands massaging his thighs before she crawls back into his arms, their bodies slotting together like puzzle pieces.

Their tongues meet in a languid battle, bodies rolling against each other like waves, uncontrollably. He presses a curious finger at the folds hidden between her thighs and groans at the enticing wetness that surrounds the digit. Coating in her sweet juices. She shakes her head above him, lifting up to dislodge his finger. He looks at her in question.

"I'm too close. I can't take foreplay. Make love to me." She pleads, demands, begs. All of them, at once.

She steals his breath, just like she did his heart and his control. He wonders what he will have left after her? What will still be his when she takes it all? He would give anything to her.

He is incapable of denying her so with a gentle grip of her waist he moves her aligning their bodies before his cock brushes against her most intimate spot, with a fluid tilt of his hip he slides into her tight pussy, it feels like coming home.

He exalts at the sensation, letting it roll over him, basking in her constrictions around him as she wiggles in his arms before pulling his ear lobe into her wet mouth, "Please."

He thrusts into her, powerful but steady, drawing her close and forcing her to meet him. She begins to ride him, feet planted beside his hips as she rams herself down into his hard cock, the view is unbelievable her face twisted in euphoria under a million dazzling stars, he takes a snapshot in his mind.

Before she knocks all thoughts out of his head, plunge down harder and faster onto him, he grabs her waist desperately, needing to slow her down. But she fights his grip, pushing his hands beside his head and he could easily take control but as he watches her fall apart he realizes she needs this. Desperately. Everything tonight has been out of her control, she needed to gain some of it back. Needed to find her footing as he effortlessly swept her off her feet. 

He lets her hold his hands down, giving no resistant, watching her fuck herself on him, entranced by the indecent sight of his dick disappearing in and reappearing out of her. In. Out. In. Out. InOut. InOut. She sets a punishing pace despite asking him to make love to her but he muses that their version of love hasn't always been gentle or tranquil, sometimes it was volatile even explosive so for them this is making love. It similar to everything else in their lives has layers, that they are continually peeling back to expose a new coat. 

She starts to moan loudly, little ahs so sweet in the wind, twisting and undulating until every downward thrust bumps against her clit, she keens as she pants out his name, "Moon Gang-tae, Moon Gang-tae!"

He holds on for the ride, hips slamming violently into hers as she tightens around him, walls crushing him until finally she shakes in his arms, her body twitching almost out of his hold and he swiftly snatches her back, drilling into the tight wall of her pussy until he feels his pinnacle nearing, the blood in his head surges and he feel his length swell and explode as he tumbles over the edge, driving every last drop of him inside her until she's stuffed full.

She collapses onto him, knocking the wind from his lung. But he takes her weight, wrapping her in his arms.

"Yes." She breaths into his ears.

Sliding out of the tight glove of her pussy he rolls to the side, catching Mang-tae once more, her brows farrow again.

"You didn't let me finish." He gently chides. Taking her hand and bringing it the the pouch on the doll's back once more, he sees the shock that washes over her features, eyes large in wonder as she pulls out the object hidden inside.

A sparkling gold ring, a modest princess cut diamond sits proudly on top, as beautiful as its new owner.

"Are you serious?" Her voice trembles, the tears coming again.

"Yes. But right now it's just a promise ring, a promise that one day I'll be a man who's worthy of being your husband. I wanted to give it to you now so you know that I'm yours and I want you to be mine in very sense of the word. What do you say?"

Her face crinkles into a smile, "You promised not to make me cry again. You already broke that promise tonight. You better not break this one."

He chuckles, "Those are happy tears that doesn't count. And you didn't answer my question." He needs to hear her answer.

She looks at him from under her lashes, naked and beautiful under the inky black night sky, lips blessing him with her response, "Sure. Why not?"

He smiles at the nonchalant answer as she weeps, before taking the ring from her hand, gently pressing the ring onto her finger, it looks like it belongs, perfect fit.

She tackles him onto the blanket, showering his face with kisses as he laughs loudly, freely. Living out his wildest dream with girl that he liked who become the woman that he loves. 

The message on the scroll crushed between their weight. But the words are unaffected.

Marry me, someday?

They were in no rush they had a lifetime ahead of them. 

Maybe even another after that, if they were reincarnated and destiny brought them together again. 

*******************************************************************************************

She drives them to their new location, he doesn't comment on her driving past the diner or looking through the glass to see Min-jo happily talking to the woman, their hands wrapped around each other as she pulls the lady behind her, excitedly jabbering. Neither of them say anything but she smiles the whole drive after, humming along to BLACKPINK on the radio. 

♫ ♫ Dududududu  ♫ ♫

He still doesn't comment when they end up at another site with a lake and mountains in the background.

After using the bathroom when he comes out of her van he finds her standing on the bank of the river. Feet barely grazing the water.

Wrapped around her arms are the bright pink floaties he saw on Min-jo's arms.

His breath hitches as she looks back at him, defiant smile on her face. Her ring shining from its permanent spot on her finger. 

She takes a step towards the water.

[ijenoyou]

times up.

summary; jeno tried so hard to hide his huge crush on his best friends girlfriend.

jeno x reader, renjun x reader, mentions of mark and yangyang.

warnings; angst! like a few curse words lol, a bit of conversation about losing the v card, unrequited love hehe

note: so yeah hehe plz ignore any mistakes in here, english is not my first language ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ enjoy!

He couldn’t tear his gaze away from you.

Jeno took in every detail that he could point out on your face without taking a second watch, like the pretty mole on your left cheek or the way your smile would never go away because of a certain person. Jeno felt bad, almost pathetic for crushing on you, Renjun’s girlfriend who was also his best friend.

It was his fault, he thought to himself, since he has know you for almost his whole life, you lived in the bright yellow colored house that was next to his. He remembers vividly the day he met you. You just moved in with your parents and since the walls of the houses were really close to each other someone could jump easily and safely to the other house through the window and small balcony it was easier to befriend Jeno.

Jeno thought it was destiny, that you choose the room next to his, he saw your small figure open the curtains while he was drawing on his too big for a 7 year old desk, when you saw him you smiled and instantly tried to befriend him. Even when he was 7 years old he could sense that he liked you since the first day. When growing up both of you would jump to each other’s room but that stopped when you met Renjun on your third day of collage.

He also remembers that day vividly, the day he got his heart broken for the very first time by you.

“jeno!” You jumped trought his window. “i have news for you!”

He turned with a smile to you, he was playing a very hard part of a video game with Mark but for you he would always put everything on pause.

“what is it peaches?” He said and got up from his desk.

“someone talked to me today! and he’s very nice.” You said with excitement on your voice.

Jeno felt a pain on his chest, he swallowed and nodded.

“so it’s a he uh?” He said trying to fake a smile.

“his name is renjun, he’s the one who helped me find my classes yesterday!”

Oh no, he thought.

He definitely knew him, he was a friend he made last year when he started collage, and then it made sense. Renjun had been talking about some girl to him and Mark, he said how he thinks she’s very pretty and that he helped her with finding her clases a day prior you saying that.

Going back to that memory, Jeno thinks that’s the first mistake he made, because exactly one day prior to the conversation he had with you he told Renjun to talk to her and try to see if it would blossom into a friendship or even a relationship. How dumb of him.

Jeno really regrets not introducing you to both Mark and Renjun when they became his best friends, that would’ve stopped Renjun from trying something with you, because they knew, Jeno’s friends knew that he liked someone but didn’t know who. After that day you stopped going to his room, he asked you about it and said that you didn’t have time since you were meeting up with Renjun when you had free time, which was something you used to do with Jeno instead.

A month passed and Jeno couldn’t believe his eyes.

Renjun was holding your hand while sitting a few tables away in the cafeteria. But what broke more of his heart was seeing how you pampered Renjun with kisses on his whole face then stopping at his lips.

Mark who was sitting next to Jeno saw the whole thing and knew, that the girl his other best friend had been crushing on and possibly be in love with, was his other best friends girlfriend. Mark was about to ask him if he wanted to leave but before he could open his mouth he heard you calling Jeno for him and Mark to go and sit with you and your new boyfriend.

Fuck.

Jeno felt Renjun’s gaze on him and tried not to roll his eyes at him. He got up pulling Mark from his hood to do the same and started walking towards the other tables, they took a sit and everything felt very uncomfortable. Everyone was silent until you spoke.

“so...” You said while extending the ‘o’. “how are you Jen? i feel like you’ve been avoiding me!”

“wonder why.” Jeno said with venom on his voice.

That threw you off and frowned.

“sorry i’ve been very busy and since you know, we’re in different majors it’s different to match our time.” You answered with a pout that made Jeno want to kiss you right there.

But he knew that was a lie, he knew that you’ve been spending more time with Renjun and since both you and him were on the same major it was pretty easy to match your schedule with him, which led him to make a move on you. He could tell he was with you on your room most of the time, because you always left the balcony doors open and could hear everything.

That was another mistake he made.

He was invited to a party from a friend called Yangyang, but he didn’t feel like going, he was too upset to get out of bed and possibly find you in that party too.

He regretted not going because he heard things he wasn’t suppose to.

Renjun was staying with you that night, watching movies and just spending time together which led to you having your first time.

When Jeno heard the pretty noises that where coming from you he felt pathetic, because he wanted so badly to be on Renjun shoes, he felt pathetic because he started crying when he heard you say how much you love Renjun.

“um, well congratulations on getting together!” Mark said trying to make the air comfier.

“Thanks!” Renjun said with a big smile unaware of the looks Jeno was giving him.

Mark and Renjun started to talk about a new video game that came out recently but neither Jeno or you were putting attention in the conversation. With his eyes Jeno told you if you wanted to leave to have a talk. You nodded and turned to Renjun.

“I’ll go and catch up with Jen, okay?” You told him and he nodded with a smile, he leaned and gave you a sweet peck on the lips which caused you to giggle.

After leaving the cafeteria and then going to the football field he stopped right in front of the bleachers.

“I’m sorry for being an ass back there.” Jeno spoke and took your hand. “I just really miss you a lot and fuck, you totally ditched me for Renjun.”

“I’m sorry too... i’m sorry for being the worst best friend ever.” You answered and gave his hand a squish. “I just got really upset that you never introduced your friends to me! and finding out Renjun is one of them for you just to tell me not to get close to him made me questions a lot of things.” Your reply came out almost as a whisper at the last part.

“things like what?” He got closer to you and you could feel his breath close to your face, you looked up since he was towering over you.

“thing like... my crush on my best friend of almost my whole life.”

Jeno felt like his whole world stopped when he heard those words come out of your pretty and rosy mouth.

“w-what?” Was all he could say.

“i-i really liked you Jen, i dropped a lot of hints, like when i first told you that i met Renjun, you just stood there and couraged me to keep talking to him and i really wanted you to say something or even try to stop me from seeing him but you didn’t.” He wanted to cry so bad, it was all his fault. “But then i realized that maybe you just see me as a little sister.”

Oh, how wrong you were.

“i really wanted to move on and now i’m very happy with him but damn, why are you so upset! you totally blew me off when i tried to talk with you.” You continued.

“because i didn’t want to hear how in love are you with him! shit, i’m so in love with you and i’m angry that he had the balls to go and fucking ask you out and i couldn’t because i was afraid, i didn’t want to hear that you had your first time with him instead of me, fuck!” Jeno yelled and sat down in the bleachers.

You just stood there taking in everything he said.

“jeno.”

He has his head on his hands looking at the floor.

“what?”

“look at me, please.” He did as you told him and he could see the tears in your eyes. “i still love you, but as a friend now a-and i... really love Renjun, i do think he is the one from me and shit, i’m sorry Jeno, but if you don’t want him and me together then we can’t be friends anymore.”

He sighed and nodded.

“i understand, i’m sorry i was too late.” He stood up and hugged you. “i hope he gives you the love i couldn’t give you at the right time.” You tried to smile but the sadnesss in you was evident, tears were about to fall from your eyes as you lost your best friend.

He gave you his well know crescent eye smile and kissed your cheek.

“times up peaches, he must be looking for you.”

[gingerisaspice]

met the man

I got super fucking lucky here let me tell you all

Friday, Jeff Smith and Mike Mignola were giving a talk at 4 so I was like, okay, I’ll go next door to the cartoon museum and waste time. As soon as I was done I started to leave and then focking downstairs I saw him being shown an exhibit piece. So my dumb ass walks down and stands by for all of a minute and quickly asked the employee if i could tag along...to which she said it was a private tour. So I looked like a stalker and put my clown nose on and left the building

Went and saw the talk, fucking fantastic. I hope it goes up online soon. Mignola explained what Magician and the Snake meant to him and that made me tear up a lot lol

Saturday, I didn’t see Smith at his table to sign from 12-1 so I was like “Okay I guess I’ll just look around” and back at the table my local comic shop was running, behind them was fucking mignola just chillin

I said to Gib “I thought he wasn’t signing til 3??” and dude told me he had nothing else to do

Went up to him and apologized about yesterday at the museum but hahah oh my god he said that he would have just let me tag along anyway. I opened up with how back in 2014 scott allie emailed my work to him personally. Mike then asked what I do now and if I was on facebook and guess what, a bitch brought their business cards with them this time (and he put it in his wallet thank fuck) 

I went back to his table a 2nd time because I forgot to show off my shoulder tattoo to then spiel how I attributed Hellboy’s sense of responsibility to my own life and that’s what the tattoo meant to me which led into more conversation. There were ppl behind me so I just scooted to the side to let them get their stuff signed while, I was a Freak and hung around his table and kept talking to him and the other fans while also half studying the sketches he brought for sale...and I stuck around til 2. Mostly I brought up art related topics and listened to him spin stories about art advice or starstruck moments he’s had.

God i felt so. Involved. This was literally my best shot at having a normalass conversation with my art hero who I’ve looked up to and also studied for so long. Literally that’s all I want when I meet them, to be able to just talk

He had to pop out and I asked really quick if it was Okay for me to make him a drawing. Said he would be flattered. So off I went to draw something! Before I went up to give it to him I nearly forgot to take a pic of it

I handed it to him and thanked him for his time!

...Don’t think it hurt though, because he asked for my email and my social media, so I included a scrap of paper with a thank you, my email, my insta, and my personal twitter zone

Ya boss networked with they hero yo I fuckin did it dude

[strsburn]

concussions and crushes

concussions and crushes

summary : in which the reader gets hurt during the Washington Monument incident and is not only sporting a crush but a mild concussion

see also : reader thinks peter doesn't like her, the way she likes him, but that is far from the truth.

pairing : peter parker x fem!reader

genre : fluff, fluff, and more fluff

words : 1,467+

side notes : I literally started writing this while I was watching spiderman homecoming today, like BOOM idea as soon as the elevator scene came on, inspiration struck and suddenly I've written over 1k words lol. Also this is kinda rushed so sorry not sorry for any errors.

also I changed things because I didn't want this to be an EXACT copy of what happened in the movie so don't be like "bUT tHiS dIdNt haPpEn iN tHe mOvIe"

_______________________________________

"You look like you got hit by a truck." The familiar dry tone has you looking up from your phone, meeting the eyes of a slightly amused Michelle Jones. 

"Thanks, that's the look I was going for today." You respond, sarcastically causing MJ to break into a grin. You had spent all of yesterday watching compilations of cats falling off of things, in hopes of getting rid of the nerves that plagued you due to decathlon the following day (today).

"So, what's got you all shaken up? By the way, don't move this would be the perfect sketch to add to my "people in a crisis" collection." MJ asked nonchalantly as she pulled her pencils and a sketchbook out. 

"Decathlon is today, and uh I'm just really nervous because well, Peter was the smartest person on the team, but now that he left everyone is counting on me and I don't know if I can do it." You rambled. MJ didn't even flinch as she continued to draw out your features that were pulled into a small frown.

"Y/n, you're one of the most intelligent people I know. You'll do fine, now hold still I'm almost finished with this sketch." Strangely enough these words were enough to put your mind at ease and you slowly relaxed into your chair, causing MJ to cheer as she could finally finish her masterpiece.

_________________________________________

"Alright we are now at our final question, which will determine who takes home the trophy for the state championship." You held your breath as the lady read the final question, you held hands with MJ who slightly bit her lip in anticipation.

Her eyes lit up when she realized she knew the answer to the final question and before you could blink her hand was hitting the silver bell on your table. 

"Midtown high?" The lady raised her brow questionably. 

"Zero." MJ stated in an obvious tone, her curls bouncing as she shrugged. The lady blinked in bewilderment as she re-checked her cards.

"That...is correct." Your team cheered giving hugs to MJ who tried to feign annoyance but the smile on her face said otherwise. 

You were able to sigh in relief as you realized it was all over and you could finally be at peace. 

"C'mon, y/n we are going to go and see the Washington monument." Liz called, waving you over, you nodded hesitantly and went over too afraid to remind her of your fear of heights. 

"See, I told you guys we didn't need Penis Parker." You heard Flash comment and you gasped just realizing Peter hadn't been at the event, despite re-joining the team a day prior. 

Your thoughts went back to the curly haired boy whom you had spoken to only a handful of times. He was rather awkward, and fidgety but he had a kind heart. You found it rather cute. Although Peter didn't seem to like you very much, if him running away everytime you initiated a conversation, was anything to go by. 

You were brought out of your thoughts by MJ who insisted she'd rather read than go to the monument that was built by slaves. 

"You sure? Do you want me to stay with you?" You asked her, not wanting her to be by herself. Unfortunately she waved you off, telling you to go have fun. You smiled and headed after Liz who was already taking pictures, despite the large sign stating that any sort of photography was forbidden. 

As soon as you were all in the elevator, you headed for the corner to hold on to the rail, your stomach in a knot knowing you were only going higher by the minute. 

You looked around in order to distract yourself when your eyes caught sight of a bright purple glow emitting from Ned's backpack, that only seemed to grow brighter as the minutes passed and you moved forward out of curiosity.

"Hey Ned, what's that purple-"

Before you could finish your sentence a loud boom rang throughout the elevator and you were slightly thrown back at the force as the ceiling exploded. Ned threw his backpack to the floor, smoke drifting from it and you pushed yourself closer to the wall, looking at the ceiling in trepidation. 

"Nobody panic, we are all safe." The tour guide said monotonously, not calming your nerves in the slightest bit. 

Just as she said this, the doors to the elevator slid open and officers began to motion you all to climb out. You decided to go last, too afraid to take any sudden steps. You watched as your classmates filed out. Leaving only you, Mr. Harrington and Liz. 

Just as the rest of you prepared to move, the elevator creaked and then plummeted sending you all to the floor. You screamed, your vocal chords straining at the pitch and volume as you felt your heart drop to your stomach. 

Just then, everything jerked to a stop and you looked up at the lack of movement your eyes widening when you came face to face with a familiar red mask.

"Hey, it's alright I got you. I got you." Spiderman reassured his white eyes narrowing as they focused on you. You could only nod, your hands still clenched tightly around the rail.

"Alright, move. Everyone out, faster people." Spiderman urged, you pushed lightly on Liz's back motioning for her to go first. She smiled in thanks trailing after Mr. Harrington who pulled her up. They both turned to you expectantly but you gasped as the elevator once again dropped, causing you to cry out as you fell, hitting your head on the rail, causing it all to go black. 

"Y/N!" You heard just as your eyes slid closed. 

_________________________________________

"Y/n, can you hear me?" 

Your eyes opened at the sound of your name and you moved to sit up, your head pounding. 

"No, no, no. Stay still, you have a mild concussion." You furrowed your brows at the slightly familiar voice and you squinted your eyes, trying to gather your surroundings. You turned to face Spiderman who gently held your hand in his, a paramedic standing by your side. 

"W-what? What's going on?" You mumbled. 

"You hit your head on the railing, when the elevator fell. I'm so sorry you got hurt, y/n." Spiderman spoke. Your eyes furrowed more in confusion as it all came back.

"How did you know my name?" The whites of his eyes widened at the question and suddenly Spiderman was speaking a mile a minute, saying he hoped you felt better, but unfortunately he had to go. Without another word, he shot a web out of his hands and swung out of the area, leaving you with the paramedics and a still slightly bruised head. 

________________________________________

"Hey, y/n good to see you're still alive. Had me worried, I'd have to draw a portrait for your funeral." MJ commented bringing you into a hug. You could hear the slight undertone of worry in her words and you smiled at her. 

"Thanks, MJ. Glad to be here." You continued to walk to class as she started to once again speak about some case of the black dahlia. 

You nodded and turned to head into English when you bumped into someone causing you both to let out sounds of pain. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry y/n." You met the eyes of Peter Parker, his cheeks burning in embarrassment. 

"It's alright Pete. Missed you at the decathlon." You smiled. 

"O-oh yeah, sorry about that. I was uh...sick. yeah like, super bad." He shook his head. 

"Right..well I'm glad you're okay now. See ya, Pete." You added after MJ pulled on your sleeve impatiently. You smiled at Peter before walking around him to class. 

Just before you could enter, you felt his hand wrap around your wrist.

"W-wait.."

You turned to face him, leaving MJ to slip into the class with an amused grin. 

"Yeah, Peter." You asked hesitantly. 

"W-would you maybe, uh like to go to homecoming with me? That is, if you don't have a date- not that you wouldn't! I mean, cause you're beautiful so I under-" 

He stilled as you carefully stood on your tip toes to kiss his cheek. 

"I'd love to go with you, Peter." You watched as his cheeks once again turned a bright red and he grinned widely.

"Awesome." 

You matched his grin, turning to enter the class. You knew you were more than late but at that moment you didn't care. 

"See you later Peter. Try not to run away from me this time." You said teasingly as you walked away from him, missing the small fist pump he gave as he watched you leave. 

Perhaps he liked you after all. You smiled at the thought. The day had turned out a lot better than you expected. Mild concussions and all.

[crocusflowersandchocolates]

R1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

Yes, ma’am!

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

I did, actually. We’re friends :3

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Not even my own loool

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

YES! I have issues and I cannot lie.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

Does internet count?

6. What are you excited for?

To get my diploma to be an official nail technician!

7. What happened tonight?

 Mystic Messenger Happened!

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

Why is it the question about “girls” in particular? How is it any different from boys getting wasted or any other gender?

9. Is confidence cute?

If it’s not forced, yes.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

Water.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

2

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

 All my jeans are skinny jeans. It’s the kind I like the most.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

I hope I’ll be reading one of the books I got for my birthday or finaly watching Kaguya-sama- Love is war. with my fiancée.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Bus.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

No, she’s my mom. 

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

I sure hope I do, or I’ll be in a lot of trouble.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My fiancée.

18. The last time you felt broken?

Yesterday...

19. Have you had sex today?

HAHAHAHAHAHAH No.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

Maybe my psychologist is right afterall.

21. Are you in a good mood?

Yes, but no.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

First I’d have to learn how to swim.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Gods, I wish they were but no.

24. What do you want right this second?

Again, fiancée.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

It would be ok if they told me before. Otherwise i’d get really pissed.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Half of it lol

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Well I don’t actually see myself dating anyone else... But no, I don’t think I could date someone who didn’t make me laugh.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Probably some video on youtube.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Yup. 

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Not everyone. Then again, how do you know if the person deserves it? Might as well give them the second chance and just observe. People may surprise us.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

No, I love him.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I sure hope he does, I make that very clear everyday.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

I’m the kind of person who never drinks soda until they have a glass just because and then gets addicted. So I rather not have soda.

34. Listening to?

Videos from Cut on youtube.#keepit100

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

No. I do, however, draw a lot XD

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

I mean if you talk about a romantic kiss the person ain’t nowhere.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I’ve lived it.

38. Who did you last call?

Mom.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

Probably someone from gym class when I was 17.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because I had just got home.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

When I was 17 and on the worst vacation of my life. The cupcake was very good, though.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

Yes.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Is it really a crush, if you don’t embarrass yourself in front of them?

44. Do you tan in the nude?

What tan? I don’t do tan. I’d burn to death.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

Lol wtf

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

 Almost but no.

47. Who was the last person to call you?

-my mom

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Always. Singing is my life even though I sing so badly lol

49. Do you dance in the car?

No. Too busy getting sick.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

I used to be good at that thing!

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Around two years ago because I needed the pictures for my university card.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

No, I love musicals!

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Yup.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

No, but I did search and they look delicious.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

I only tolerate apple pie and it has to be warm. I don’t really like fruit pie much.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

A surgeon and a detective.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

I don’t know.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

A lot.

59. Take a vitamin daily?

I used to take Vitamin D but I never bought a refill because I’m an idiot.

60. Wear slippers?

No. I only wear crocs or flip flops at home.

61. Wear a bath robe?

Nope.

62. What do you wear to bed?

Depends on the humor but mostly a baggy shirt and sweatpants or pajama shorts.

63. First concert?

Never went to one.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Not American.

65. Nike or Adidas?

I only wear Vans or Converse lol

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Peanuts.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Suddenly forgot all of her songs.

69. Ever take dance lessons?

I did!

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

He wants to be a teacher. I hope he can fulfill his dream.

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Never went to one but I’m pretty good at spelling.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Many times.

74. What is your favorite book?

There’s just too many.

75. Do you study better with or without music?

With music but I can’t know the lyrics or else I’ll sing and won’t study.

76. Regularly burn incense?

No, I’m allergic.

77. Ever been in love?

I am

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

My chemical Romance T.T

79. What was the last concert you saw?

None

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Cold tea. I can’t stand being burned while I try to enjoy my tea.

81. Tea or coffee?

Tea.

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Those butter cookies with the red jam in the middle or whatever.

83. Can you swim well?

No, I’m actually kind of afraid of the sea.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yeah. 

85. Are you patient?

NO!

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

DJ.

87. Ever won a contest?

Yup. Poetry one!

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

I’m poor. And I don’t think what I don’t like about myself could be arranged with a surgery.

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Green. I like them both, but green!

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

What kind of... That’s just stupid. Not everyone wants to get married. 

91. Best room for a fireplace?

- living room. Other places are just alien for me.

92. Do you want to get married?

YES!

[letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked]

Accidents Happen (Episode 3/?)

Peter Parker x Pregnant!Reader

A/N: Wow, I am on a goddamn roll with this series! I’ve spoiled you guys, today! LOL! You guys are lucky my class was cancelled! I have a full day of classes, tomorrow, so we shall see when part 4 comes out. I’ll keep you updated!

Warnings: Teen pregnancy, swearing (why is this even a warning?), bullying, etc…

Masterlist

 Accidents Happen Masterlist

You didn’t want to stay in the apartment, alone.

You had texted peter, asking him to come home, and he replied that he was staying at Ned’s – needing some space. You texted Michelle with no response. Aunt May had to leave, having gotten called in for a night shift. You couldn’t go back to your apartment, because of your mother…

Natasha.

You had your own suite at the tower, too, but you didn’t want to be alone. You needed someone to be with you. Natasha had become one of your very few friends, in the short time that you had known her. She liked to make jokes that you were the little sister she never asked for, but loved immensely. You didn’t quite want to tell her about your little… okay, pretty fucking big pickle – just, yet. You just wanted a nice, relaxing evening with Natasha – and Wanda, if she wasn’t busy.

You grabbed your cellphone, a sweatshirt of Peter’s, and your bags. When you reached the ground level of the building, you used your phone to request an Uber to come pick you up, then called Natasha.

“Hey, Pechen’ye,” Natasha answered, calling you her little nickname for you: Cookie. You still don’t know why she calls you cookie. “How are you? Steve said you were sick, today.”

“No, I’m fine. It’s passed.” You lied, “I’m actually staying at the tower, tonight. I wanted to know if you and Wanda were free to come watch some Netflix with me?”

“Yeah! Wanda is gone, but I just have some training to finish with Barnes and Sam, if you want to come? We’ll be in the gym. We could binge after?”

“I’ll meet you in there. See you soon.” You hung up your phone, hoping that she didn’t catch any weird vibes from your call. It’s Natasha. Of course she already knows something is up. You were surprised that she didn’t hack into your medical records, figuring out what was wrong. Or maybe she did, already, and just wants you to tell her? Not happening. Not for a while.

Your Uber took forever to get to the tower, and tried to hit on you twice. You were, also, 95% certain that you saw Peter swinging around, on your way to the tower. You shot him a small text: I can see you. I’m headed to the tower to hang out with Natasha and Wanda. May went to work. See you tomorrow?

He never responded. You figured he wouldn’t. You should have known that he wouldn’t go to Ned’s. Whatever.

When you got to the gym, Bucky and Sam were arguing. Natasha was just stretching on the side of the main sparring mats, watching them with an annoyed look on her face.

“What are they arguing about?” You asked, dropping your bags to the ground and stretching with her.

“Who won the spar. I called it a draw. I wanted to see if they would fight about it, and what would happen.” She smirked, looking over to me, “Straighten your back, if you’re going to stretch. Do you want to train?”

No. I’m pregnant. “I’m good. I just want to relax, tonight. My body healed itself from whatever I was sick with, and it took a lot out of me.” Don’t catch the lie, don’t catch the lie…

“Why did you even go to the doctors?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at you, “You always come see Cho if you are worried about something, or think your powers healed you from being sick.”

“Cho’s out of town.” Not a lie. “I’ll talk to Cho when she gets back.”

“You’re lying to me.” Nat stopped stretching, “Something is happening. What’s going on with you?”

You didn’t realize that the boys had stopped arguing and were now listening in. You huffed, laying back against the mats as Bucky came over to stand by your feet. “Steve thinks you’re pregnant.”

You shot up, “What?!” You stared at him. “Why would he think that?”

“Because you went to the doctors, and had to come talk to Peter – then, Peter looked upset all day.” He shrugged, “You’re not that sneaky, and it doesn’t take a scientist to figure something like that out. Plus, the look you just gave me sort of confirmed it.”

“You’re pregnant?” Natasha shouted, hopping up from the mat. “What the hell, Y/n! We have been training! And you’re sixteen! You are too young for a baby!” She started swearing in Russian.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Nat.” You sighed, standing up and grabbing your bags, “Are you having a relaxing night with me, or not? I just want to b-be fucking normal tonight, okay?” Your voice had cracked, and tears started to blind your vision. “Just for tonight, okay? We can talk about it, tomorrow.”

She looked over at Bucky and Sam, who weren’t saying anything. Then, she let out a deep breath she had been holding, “Okay. We can talk about it, later.” She marched over and took your bags from you, “But we stay in my room, tonight.”

____

“Shit.” You looked around for your school bag. “Nat, I think I left my backpack at Peter’s.”

“He dropped it off, already.” She called out from the bathroom, where she was brushing her teeth, “It’s by the door.”

Oh. You looked at your phone, which had been sitting on the nightstand, and checked to see if he had texted you or called you. Nothing. Still.

You swallowed down the nausea that had been building, along with your anxiety. Were you supposed to act normal at school, today? Were you still going to act like a couple? Were you still a couple? He only said he wanted space – not that he wanted to break up.

Will he break up with you?

That did it.

You ran into Nat’s bathroom, throwing up in the toilet while she brushed her teeth.

“Don’t brush your teeth, use mouth wash. I heard it grinds the acids into your teeth.” She said, handing you the bottle when you were done. “Also, I think you should move out of your mom’s apartment.”

“Nat.” You shook your head, “I can’t. I’m only sixteen.”

“Oh, please.” She waved her hand dismissively, “You know that Stark could get you emancipated in a heartbeat.”

“I’ll think about it.” You rinsed your mouth out after the mouthwash, and gathered your school stuff, “Hopefully today is just an easy, peaceful day.”

Oh how wrong you were…

You were running late, so you didn’t get to eat, again. Plus, you felt exhausted.

Then, the cab driver couldn’t break the hundred that Tony had given you for your ride, so you had to run into a cafe – still on the meter. Then, Flash Thompson was standing by the front doors to the school and said something rude as you walked in – dampening your mood further.

Finally standing at your locker, you ripped your coat off and shoved it on the hook, forcefully.

Peter still hadn’t talked to you. You understood he wanted time and space, but you weren’t used to not talking to him. You’d always had him as someone you could talk to at any time, even before you two had started dating.

You didn’t like this. Not one bit. It was stressing you the hell out.

“Hey, stranger.” Michelle was suddenly next to you, “I take it you feel better? You were obviously sick, yesterday. You never miss.”

“Yeah,” You carded a hand through your hair, clearing your throat. “I’m fine. Just tired, still. Hey, have you seen Peter?”

“He’s at his locker, talking with Ned, like he always is before class.” She laughed, giving you a funny look. “You sure you’re okay? You don’t look too good. You look a little sweaty and pale. Are you still sick?”

You shook your head, putting on a fake smile, “Must be left over from yesterday. Let’s go.”

She linked her arm through yours, pulling you towards Peter’s locker – where the boys looked to be in a serious discussion.

“H-hey, Y/n.” Ned cut Peter off, putting on a fake smile. “How are you this morning?”

“Fine.” You smiled, feeling awkward. Peter was facing away from you, looking like he would rather be anywhere but next to you. You cleared your throat, and fought off a wave of exhaustion. You tried to talk to him, “Hey.”

Michelle looked between you and Peter as he ignored you, “What’s going on? Are you two fighting?”

Peter slammed his locker shut, making you jump a little. He walked away without so much as a glance your way, and you felt tears fall down your cheeks as your heart broke a little more.

“Excuse me.” You mumbled, wiping your face and walking towards an empty hallway. The bell had rung a few seconds after you found a spot, but Michelle had followed you, anyways.

“Y/n, what the hell is going on?” She asked, looking around to make sure the two of you were really alone. “Are you two really fighting? You two never really fight. More like bicker. Almost like an elderly married couple. It’s sickening, really. Although, I guess it was bound to happen-”

“Michelle.” You cut her off, shaking your head. You wiped your face with the sleeves of your – well, Peter’s – sweatshirt. “Please?”

“Wow.” She frowned, setting her backpack down on the floor, “It must be serious. What happened?”

You shook your head, “We fucked up. Really bad.” She motioned for you to continue, handing you a tissue from her backpack. “I wasn’t here, yesterday, because I went to the clinic.” You gulped. “I went to Planned Parenthood.”

Her face turned to one of shock, “Are you…?”

You nodded, “I’m around twelve weeks pregnant.”

“Holy…shit.” Michelle dropped down to the floor, leaning her back against the wall, “When did you guys…?”

“Back in October.” You chuckled at her grossed-out expression, “After I went to band camp, and I’d slept over at Peter’s again.”

“Oh, wow. That’s way before you guys actually started dating.” She shivered in mock (or maybe real?) disgust. “That was around the time that you two started getting all touchy feely. More than usual.”

“Yeah. That was the only time we had sex, though.” You sighed, “Now, look at us.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I have no fucking idea.” You sat down next to her, leaning your head against her shoulder, “He’s mad at me, because we agreed on aborting. Then, I changed my mind without talking it out with him. I sort of just went all protective and told him that my decision was final.”

“It’s your body, Y/n. It’s ultimately your choice.” She argued, “He doesn’t have a say if you do or you don’t have this baby.”

“It’s his life, too.” You tried to defend him, “This is his baby, too. It may be my choice, but it’s also his.”

“Y/n.” She grabbed my hand, “I’m not here to tell you what to do, but I think that you and Peter need to sit down together and really talk about this. If he isn’t talking to you, he’s probably just panicking because he thought that you two had it figured out – then, you didn’t. He’ll come around.”

“I hope so.” You closed your eyes, tiredly gripping her hand tighter. “I miss him.”

___

“Oh, no.” You whispered, staring at your phone in the hallway, a few hours later.

Flash fucking Thompson tagged you in a tweet.

“Pretty sure I just heard @Y/n say that she was PREGNANT?! WTF!”

Shit. He heard you talking to Michelle in the hallway.

Every 4-letter word you could think of was on repeat in your mind.

People were staring at you. That had been tweeted about an hour previous. Meaning, people had definitely saw it. There were comments, retweets, and replies.

You shut your phone off in a panic, scanning the hallway for Peter. You didn’t see him, and ran for the front doors, pushing people out of your way as you went.

“Hey! Y/n!” You hear Flash just before you see him standing in front of the exit. “So, are you really knocked up?” A crowd was gathering. “That’s a shame. Looks like you’re going to end up just like your momma.” He laughed, and so did the stupid little crowd of assholes. “Just make sure to lay off the hard drugs, you don’t want to lose your looks. What little looks you did have.” He smirked, gesturing to your body.

“Fuck off, Flash.” You were about to go the fuck off. Your heart was racing, you felt cold, you needed to sit down. “Let me leave.”

“Naw. I think I’ll just-”

You didn’t let him finish before you flew forward and hooked him right in the jaw. You didn’t stay for the aftermath of your punch, before you were running out the doors and into the city. You needed to think. You needed to go home. To your own apartment. Where nobody would bug you, and your mom was most likely passed out.

No such luck.

You ran into the apartment, ready to break down, when you suddenly heard a shatter next to your head. “What the fuck, Mom! Did you just throw a bottle at me?!”

“Are you fucking knocked up, you stupid little bitch?” She yelled, slurring and taking a chug from a different bottle, “Fucking Susie Q, or whatever - some fucking chipper lady called from Planned Parenthood. Said that they couldn’t get a hold of your cellphone and that you forgot some papers.”

Shit. You should have never put your home phone number on the form. “I am.”

“Stupid piece of fucking shit!” She threw another bottle towards me, “Didn’t I teach you anything when I told you all about the birds and the bees? Are you too fucking stupid to comprehend contraception? What am I paying that fucking fancy school of yours for, anyways?”

“You don’t pay them, Mom.” She threw another bottle at you. “Where the fuck are you getting all these bottles, you psycho! Stop! Mom! Stop!” She kept throwing them, getting closer and closer to you. A burst of pain radiated from the side of your head as one knocked you right in the temple. “Mom! Please!” You raised your shaking hand to your head. It came away sticky with blood.

You ran from the apartment, blood dripping from the cut above your eyebrow.

Fuck. What the hell.

You called Peter, but only got his voicemail.

“P-peter? It’s me.” Your voice cracked as a sob racked through your body, “I’m headed to the tower, can we please talk? I just tried to go to my apartment, and m-my mom threw a f-fucking bottle at my head. I’m bl-bleeding. Please. I- Shit.” You dropped your phone, hearing the phone’s screen crack against the sidewalk as you collided with a giant man on the street. “I’m sorry, sir.” He grumbled and kept walking. Great. Phone’s shattered.

The walk to the tower was long. You usually took an Uber or a cab, but you had left your wallet in your purse. Which was still in your locker. Along with your coat.

Shit you were cold. Really fucking cold.

It took you forty-five minutes to get to the tower, because you had to stop and catch your breath. Why am I breathing so hard? Your head was still pounding from the bottle, but you were sure that the blood had stopped running down your face. Fuck, you felt dizzy. You needed to work out, more. Jesus.

“Miss Y/L/N?” Ed, the security guard, was suddenly in front of you. When the hell did you get to the tower? Weren’t you just on a park bench? “Miss, you’re bleeding.”

“I-I…” You heard an alarm go off. What? What was the alarm? You looked around and people were standing above you. How the hell did you get to the floor? Weren’t you just talking to Ed? “Why a-am I on the…”

Darkness washed over your vision as you passed out.

Episode 4

Tags: (Come join the party! Let me know if you want to be part of the story, or in my forever tags! Thanks, Loves!)

@luckynumber1213 @castellandiangelo @sassyandclassyx @mrsnegan25 @impossiblepizzapeace @glitterquadricorn @chameerah @pigwidgexn @kawaiianime03 @lxdyred @let-me-luve-you  @koizorahana  @nataliehasgrace

[ember373]

Musings after Heartbreak...

July 25, 2020 2:10 pm

I break. And I cry. And I feel sorry for myself. And then...I get up and do what needs done. Eventually, I take a deep breath and sift through the pieces and see what I can do something about and what I just need to set aside for now. Yes, my heart attracts all those jaggy little metal pieces back unto itself to cut me again and again, but there is a bit of wiggle room. I can maybe move this piece a little here, block that one for a bit, smooth the edges on this other one. I am a positive person by nature. So, no matter how far I get knocked down, I pick myself back up and try to figure out how to move forward. A lot of the time it feels like I’m being held down, standing still. But I still try to at least think about ways to move forward for the day I have enough energy to implement them. it’s exhausting, but it’s who I am-what I do.

I don’t like feeling lost. Out of control. Alone. Depressed. It goes against everything I am. It feels wrong. And that’s why it’s been so hard to live in my skin the last how many ever years. This week has been no different. I am both resolved to my situation but, at the same time, I feel like there is something coming. A change. It both excites and terrifies me.

After pouring all that out yesterday, I went about the rest of my night. Watched a few dramas. Shut it all down and sat alone in the dark for a bit to calm my mind. Was about to go to sleep being that it was 1 am when I realized I had to use the restroom. Came back and just felt a stir. I knew I shouldn’t go to sleep at that moment. I should throw some cards to clear my head. Looked at the clock. 1:23. Lol. I guess maybe the Universe had something to tell me...

It was obviously a drawing about me and Dev. Haha. Ok. Maybe not obvious to you, but definitely to me. That was what I had in mind. That was what was causing me the most confusion. I did everything in the dark and I threw with my eyes closed. I didn’t really think about it, I just did it. I think it was to shut my expectations and desires out and let the outcome be pure. Wow. Cards were pretty decisive. He’s non committal so don’t waste your time. You know what you want-don’t settle. You’ve given up control you shouldn’t have. He refuses to see any other perspective but his own-he’ll never get over this. You’re worth standing up for. He’s distrustful of women and he won’t be getting over that with you. The Universe may have given me a gift in him, but it got all messed up and the opportunity has passed. Time to focus on something outside yourself. While I realize that it was my fault everything got messed up, it was Dev’s fault for not being willing to be vulnerable enough to straighten it all out. That’s on him. If he wants to be a stubborn blind ass-that’s on him. I fucked up, but so did he. It is what it is. If I can just stop reacting so much, I’m sure he’ll eventually just fade away. Non attached me seems to get very boring very quickly to people. I think that’s the point tho. Idk. Maybe he’ll always be there. On the fringe. Because he’s too damn scared to confront anything and be vulnerable, but he doesn’t want to completely let go either. Whatever. He can do what he wants. I’m not going to be the strong grrr fuck you bitch I’d really like to be. But I am going to try to just let it be what it is and not worry about it. I have bigger things to worry about, I can’t waste my energy on this anymore. Oh, I’m sure I will, but hopefully it will get less and less. ;)

Today was still feeling unsettled, so I grabbed the cards again. Yes/no questions at first since I was kind of being lackadaisical about it. Ever since Margie mentioned it, I’ve always kept her telling me that there will be another love, a greater love, close to my heart. It’s my tiny hope. So I asked if I already knew this person. Strong No. Would I meet them by the end of this year? Strong possibility. Would I meet them while still married? Strong possibility that I would not. Would the oppressor cheat on me? (I have had a weird feeling that would be the only way this could end in the least destructive way as possible.) Strong possibility. Is he cheating on now? Possibly. I felt like it meant he’s not physically doing it now, but it’s on his mind. Not actively, just...he’s lonely and not getting what he wants from me. He might even be justifying it and trying to convince himself that it would be ok. Then I pulled a card to tell me when I’d meet this person. December. Hmmm... Ok. Time to throw some cards.

I focused on the person. What sign would he be so I would know it was him? What would he be like? Tell me about him... It wasn’t what I wanted, but I think it probably told me what I needed to know. I kind of just finished it, so I’ll process it here. 7 cards. Not a whole lot, but it’s what came out. No swords. I feel like it’s telling me I won’t overthink this, like I do just about everything else. So that’s good. 3 cups, 2 pentacles, 2 wands. Emotion, drive, and senses. No duplicates. Cards almost go in order. 4,6,7,8,9, page, Queen. They weren’t thrown in that order tho. I just noticed it. I didn’t think to look at them in that order until now. I’ll have to think on that.

I’m not happy with what I have right now. I am being offered a lot, the oppressor definitely provides, but I don’t want any of it. I don’t appreciate it. I’m ungrateful. Not that they are things I need to be grateful for, just, they’re not things I want. From him. So I don’t appreciate them like I should. This is affecting me. (Duh) Right now I’m in a situation where I have to depend on someone else and I don’t like that. The takeaway is that I need to use this to realize what a healthy relationship actually looks like and that one person shouldn’t depend so much on the other-there is healthy co dependence. I need to think on that and just give my soul a break right now. I will be swept off my feet, but right now, I need to start feeling more gratitude towards life and focus on the positive. Over these was a card telling me that positive changes will take place in the future, but I need to deal with relationship and love issues that I’ve been avoiding. I need to make the effort to heal all this. To come to terms with it. Need to learn what I need to learn so I don’t get caught up in the past and let it affect my future. Trust my inner voice, but don’t be afraid to ask for help (ugh).

In a separate grouping, things are moving forward and the outcome will be expected. It’s pretty much the logical conclusion. To stop it, which I don’t want to, but if I did it would be chaos. Just let things play out. They will. Over that was a card telling me love will come, it will just be a while longer. Time to focus on self (hmm...they keep telling me that...lol). I’ve experienced the lessons of the previous cards and now it’s time to absorb them and prepare to look for the deeper meanings in life that come after those lessons.

Next, I need to stand up for myself. I’m worth protecting. I may feel like I’m being attacked on all sides (work, love, home, family, etc). But what I need to remember is that a lot of my enemies are of my own making. I’m seeing attacks where there are none. My past hurt and trauma and PTSD have me all sorts of crazy and I’m fighting against EVERYONE, even those that could potentially be good people (sorry Dev...). It’s not the universe against me-it’s life being played out. It sucks that everything is happening at once, but I need to remember that the Universe has my back on this. This is what needs to happen. That stupid guy may be right-I’m close to achieving what I’m meant for, which is love and happiness, I just need to be strong and do what I know I need to. I need to remember that the Universe isn’t inherently positive or negative, it isn’t largely against or for me-it’s all about what I project into it. And right now, it’s saying I’m giving you the opportunity to have everything come together. You’ve been through a lot, put a lot of effort in, don’t stop now. It’s always darkest before the dawn type of thing I guess. I need to start focusing on projecting good into my life. I’m not in a good place and only I can get myself out of it. And that doesn’t happen by dwelling there and feeling sorry for myself. It happens by starting to set good intentions and actively work on manifesting them. (Ha! Don’t I sound new agey now? Lol).

The last card was me. A lonely woman. Someone who makes do with what she has, makes the best of what she can, but feeling like there isn’t that other half of her to share it with. Something is missing. This card also denotes a woman with a profound sadness having come from having moved on from a past relationship. Even when it’s all said and done, I may not be ready to move on yet. I need to take my time and process everything. I may think I’ll be fine because I’ve been disconnected for a very long time, but when you cut that final cord, you feel it. I’ll feel it. And I need to honor that and spend some time with it. Completely feel it and process it before I move on. As much as I wallow in self pity and wonder I did to deserve this, this was meant to happen. It’s helped shape who I am. I need to focus on the gifts it has given me. The light in those positives will help heal the dark wounds I’ve been nursing all these years.

Take Away? Things are coming to an end. I’ve been feeling it. I still don’t know if I can quite wrap my head around them ending this year, I guess we’ll see. I’m not going to do anything to hasten or prevent it. I’ve felt for a long while that the universe had some big lessons for me in this. There was some Kharma I needed to work out. I felt like being stuck where I am I must not be learning them. Or, in order to be rewarded for my knowledge, I would need to hurt someone and go against everything that I am. I think part of my anger at the universe was because I was so mad that I changed myself to accommodate the oppressor. So mad that anyone tries to change who a person innately is. Yet, I felt the Universe was trying to do exactly that. After it showed me that I need to go back to who I was and rediscover myself. Why bring me back only to tell me to do something so antithema to my true being? i don’t think I necessarily put it together until now, but I definitely felt the incongruity. And it wasn’t until just processing everything today that the thought occurred to me that maybe my lesson WASN’T to be strong enought to hurt another. Maybe my lesson was just to be strong enough for myself. To find that courage to stand up and make my voice be heard. it’s exhausting, but it’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Not laying down and taking crap. Voicing my opinion. Standing up for injustices I see. Not getting beaten down. i think that was the lesson all along. To have more confidence in myself and my abilities. All my abilities. I’m a strong woman, I just forgot that for a while. And strength doesn’t mean having the ability to hurt people. It’s the ability to love them despite the hurt. To love them enough to stand up to them and demand they be a better human being. I’m hoping that was the lesson anyway. Lol. Otherwise, I may never learn it. >.<

So...I need to do what I’ve felt I’ve needed to for a while now-get me back to good. Focus on honing my talents. Recognizing exactly what I want in life. Figuring out what my next career move will be. Opening my heart to the universe and allowing these things to happen. Having interests and learning more about them. Strengthening my sight and intuition and trust in myself. I did a reading for a complete stranger and she said it was spot on!! And in light of that, I still don’t trust my abilities. Lol. I need to work on that. I need to work on a lot of things. But I need to take them one at a time and stop being daunted by all that needs to happen. Bit by bit, I’ll get it done. I wish I had all the answers now, but I need to be patient. Stop forcing things. There is another love out there for me, one that will be all I’ve ever dreamed of, and it will come to me when it’s supposed to. Not exactly what I wanted, but what I must have needed. Time to take deep breaths and start the processes that will allow me to move forward. I will take steps back. And sideways. And upwards and downwards. But as long as I keep moving, eventually I’ll get myself in the right direction. Right? The sun in the world is especially beautiful after a storm. When it breaks through dark clouds and lights up all the drops of rain everywhere. You can smell it. Taste it. Feel it. It’s time for my storm to be over. The sun might not be here yet, but I can at least do the work I need to in order to be able to truly enjoy it. Clear my eyes. Free my heart. Let loose my soul. Be open to being the very person I’m meant to be and trust that I absolutely know who that person is. Or, at least, I will. ;)

**Side note. Or end note? Anyway, interestingly enough, I mistook my notes to say the Page of Cups instead of Coins at first and that card signifies soul mates or twin souls. Not sure about that, but it does signify a great love coming a person’s way. It gave me great comfort and I wonder if that happened on purpose. The card might not have been thrown, but maybe the message was still meant to be there. But it shouldn’t be strong enough as to overshadow everything else that was there. So here, take this little tid bit, set it aside, now look at everything else and how it relates to each other WITHOUT this card in the mix. It’s its own thing. If I had the physical card, it would have thrown everything off. Colored it. i do believe they were giving me hope in a way I could understand it. <3

[cherryberrybops]

“’Is this building Haunted?’ A fright high part 3″

Title: Up there^^^                                                                                          Author: Myself (Tay-chan)                                                                              Character(s): cell 13, and cameo’s from building 5!                                Pairing(s): KenshiMoko! Kenshirou X Momoko                                            Rating: I’ll figure it out when you do! XD                                                          Warnings (if there are any):                                                                      Summary: Rock and nico get a sugar high and decide to take Jyugo and Uno on a trip to the game room in the middle of the night, but they didn’t anticipate it to be such a frightening time–! *I like making the summary cheesy lol* Many parts, because I don’t have to draw, but I have time to type XD

PREVIOUSLY ON “A FRIGHT HIGH”: Jyugo sought out to find Uno (poor spooked child!) but what he didn’t anticipate was he would be found first! Being cuffed by Samon (who had lost his keys and just really wants to go home) Uno returns, screaming and warning of a monster with fangs and claws, only to discover that he freaked out for no reason and it was just Kuu siting in front of a light. But what will be in store for our other two inmates? And where’s the KenshiMoko I promised? Stay tuned! ‘cause this is a long(ish) one friends. Okay so it isn’t that long, it’s just longer than the last two.

“This building doesn’t have enough guards, does it Inu-chan?” Musashi asked with a pitying expression.

“No, it’s just my night to go sleepless.” Kenshirou replied. He actually would like a few more deputies to cover his night shifts, he frequently wondered why he had a bed at home. Or, a home for that matter. He knew there was an empty room in building 4.

“Uh-huh. You can go sleep somewhere if you’re not at least going to converse while you’re down here checking on me.”

“I have rounds to make. And besides, you should at least sleep, even if I don’t.”

“But I pity you. Why should I rest if you’re not?” 

“Because you’re an inmate with nothing better to do at 2 in the morning.”

“Su~pervisor!” Hitoshi called out sleepily as they gently came down the steps. they had sleeping in the night guards room. (Hitoshi is a They/Them to me.)

“Maybe Hito-chan will talk to me.” Said Musashi.

“Supervisor, the Warden called and asked for you to go see her!” Hitoshi wasn’t concerned about the late night call, they just thought of all the things they had talked about with Musashi, about Kenshirou and the Warden. It was obvious, Kenshirou’s clear feelings for her. 

“Then you’ll be okay taking care of things here while I’m gone?”

“Ha~i!” 

Kenshirou was slightly nervous leaving Hitoshi alone with Musashi so late at night, er, early in the morning. This would be their first time. 

He arrived in about twenty five minutes and made it to her door at thirty. He took a deep breath as he stood outside her office, cleared his throat and prepared to knock as he heard a voice behind him.

“Kenshirou?” The Warden asked. He jumped! the breath sucked from his lungs. He looked behind him to see if was true. He had arrived before the Warden!

“Yes? O-oh, Warden.” His voice had cracked slightly. He was stunned, that the Warden would be in a white sweat shirt and shorts in front of him! 

“Are you okay? You look flushed,” she asked him with concern in her tone.

 “I’m fine, I just thought you were in your office like normal.”

“I just came from my home, I didn’t think you’d be here already.” She glanced at her door and Kenshirou stepped aside. She just thought he was flushed and he was relieved that he didn’t give himself away. They both stepped into her office and she closed the door behind them. 

“Have you heard from Samon tonight?” She asked him as she sat on her desk.

“No, I haven’t. Is he okay?” He tried, oh he tried, not to stare.

“That’s why I’m asking. I’m not sure. He called me as he was leaving, around midnight, and said he lost had his keys and couldn’t lock his office. I told him how to get an extra until he found his and he was supposed to call when he left.”

“And what do you suppose happened?”

“Knowing him, he’s backtracking looking for them in the dark, though I can’t be sure. Do you know where he was toda-yesterday?” She caught the time change. It was just after 2:30

“Most of us guards went to building 13, the inmates wanted to go to the new game room there. Other than that, I assume he just stayed at building 5.”

“Let me call the supervisor in charge there now.” She made the call and Yamato answered, yawning. She asked him if he new of anyone entering the building around the time frame she had and he said one person did though he didn’t know who. She knew he had been sleeping and hoped that someone else there (Hajime) was awake. They hung up and she asked Kenshirou to please go check on them.

“I just want you to go check up there. I believe Hajime had the night off and I’m a little concerned, but Samon hates for people to worry about him. Can you do this for me?” She let her professional side go completely, and Kenshirou loved her more than ever! This would be a night that he would forever remember.

“Of course, Warden.” So he tried to be a little less professional as well. He took off his cloak and, kneeling down like normal, handed it to her. “It’s cold outside, you’re not dressed properly for this weather.” The truth, though, was that he couldn’t keep himself from staring at her for much longer and wanted her to cover up before the atmosphere got awkward. Yes, awkward, his weakness.

“Ah, thank you. I guess I was a little cold.” She accepted it and, moving to her chair, laid it on her lap.

“I’ll be going now. Have a good evening Warden.” He said coolly, the last bit of strength he had molded into those final words. 

He shut the door behind him as he stepped out of the room, then lost all restraint. His face turned as red as it could be and the image of her flashed through his mind a hundred times before remembering what his mission was! Stepping outside, he wished just a little bit that he had kept his cloak, but the thought of it keeping his love warm made it worth the little chill the wind gave him.

Nico and Rock had grown board of card games and neither new how to play mahjong on their own. Rock was thinking of just going back to their cell, sitting in the dark for an hour he was finally feeling sleepy. 

“Let’s go back Nico,” He finally said. “I’m getting really tired now, and it’s been an hour since Jyugo and Uno ran off.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.” Nico said with a tired sigh.

They exited the game room and began making their way in the direction of their cell. The first time they ever went back willingly, where else were they to sleep? They walked, the halls seemed even more eerie than they had before, and a chill ran up both of their spines, like there was something walking behind them.

“Hey Rock,” Nico looked up at his tall friend.

“Yeah?”

“Remember when you said that you can see dead people?”

“There are no ghosts here, let’s just stay quiet so, uh, we can hear if Jyugo and Uno are on their way back.” He knew he was lying, and so did Nico. They could both feel something in that awful, dark hallway.

“Hey!” They both jumped clear out of their skins! Spinning around violently they caught sight of Kenshirou, pulling out his handcuffs and ready to take them back to their cell himself.

“Kenshirou?” Rock exclaimed

“Thank goodness! I thought it was ghost!” Nico yelled

“We were going back! I promise,” Rock tried to avoid the handcuffs, but Kenshirou didn’t care, the two inmates got them anyhow.

“How did you two get out?” Kenshirou asked them. He didn’t know about Jyugo’s “talent” like Samon was, so Rock had to come up with something.

“Yamato ya know? He’s so bad at locking doors and stuff, so me and Nico here decided to take a little stroll.” Kenshirou wasn’t buying what Rock was selling, but he wasn’t in the mood for interrogating right then, so he took it anyhow. 

“It’s just the two of you?” Rock hated follow-up questions.

“Yup, Jyugo and Uno are real heavy sleepers.” Only half of a lie. 

“Just get walking. The sooner we get to your cell the less I’ll want to throw you two in it.” Rock and Nico cringed, they thought only Hajime threw inmates!

Kenshirou wasn’t much better than Samon when it came to “shoving” people along. He put Rock and Nico in a line, Nico closest to him, and walked behind them as they made their way “back home”. He almost knocked Nico down, however, when Rock made an abrupt stop. 

“Rock?” Nico asked.

“What’s going on, Number 69?”

“I thought so. . .” He said with disdain. Only he saw it. A blurry figure down the hall, near their cell. 

“What? Why did you stop?” Kenshirou felt a little nervous of Rock’s blank stare. 

“Rock, what do you see?” Nico knew, and dreaded knowing in this moment.

“It’s-” The blur rushed him! with blond hair and sharp teeth.

“It’s me!” It told him then vanished, leaving Rock on the floor.

Kenshirou pulled out his whip, not that it would do good against an unsound entity.

“What’s going on?” Kenshirou yelled out. 

“I’m ‘what’s going on’!” The entity appeared before him holding a knife. It--which was solid--and the entity--which was a blur that could hardly be made out--slashed Kenshirou’s arm with the knife it held. Kenshirou grabbed his wound and his attacker vanished, knife and all. Rock ran to the cell, hoping it would look better than Kenshirou, and it did, except his two friends weren’t there, nor Samon who’m he had yet to know was in the building somewhere.

“What do you see Rock?” Nico sprinted to him.

“Nothing. I see nothing. Jyugo and Uno aren’t here,” he said for Kenshirou to hear. He really thought that they would in the cell.

“Did you-, can you see spirits?” The wounded guard asked him. 

“Yeah, but that was really weird.”

“I can sense them, but that was too faint. It must have disappeared because it used too much energy attacking me.” Nico ran in the open cell and grabbed his medicine bag. Taking out a bandage roll he went to Kenshirou’s side. “Is this building haunted?” He thought.

“Here,” He said holding out the roll. Kenshirou cautiously took off his jacket and pulled up his sleeve. The wound wasn’t too deep, but he hated being reminded that he was a bleeder.

“So why are you here anyhow?” Rock inquired as Nico played doctor. Kenshirou told him that he was told to check on their building, nothing more nor less. Though he mentioned Samon’s “alleged” presence in the building

“Well I guess we have to go look for them then,” Rock stated folding his arms in a matter-of-fact way.

“You two need to stay in your cell.”

“Why are all guards like this? ‘Stay in your cell’, ‘just stay in your cell.’“ Rock mocked him.

“Then we’ll all stay.” Suddenly they all heard footsteps approaching them.

“Kenshirou?” Samon questioned in the poor lighting. 

“Hey! It’s Rock and Nico!” Uno exclaimed to Jyugo, trying to run to them. He stopped when Samon’s grip on his hair caught up to him.

“Jyugo-kun!” Nico yelled out.

“WATCH OUT!” Rock and Kenshirou warned them! 

The entity wasn’t done yet. . . The building was haunted, and by a vengeful ghost.

[canaryatlaw]

Sigh. I didn't *mean* to stay up this late....although I never really mean to stay up till 4:30 am. Ugh. My room is currently filled with various flies and other bugs which is very irritating so we're gonna have to deal with finding how that's happening tomorrow. But today. The last 24 hours have been pretty nuts and intense, for some reasons I'll share and some I'm going to keep to myself. I could NOT fall asleep last night, and kept tossing and turning because I was sure I took my meds, only when I finally went to take another melatonin around 5 am I discovered I took the meds from the wrong fucking day, which did not include the Xanax I'm now apparently dependent on to fall asleep (and that's fucking wonderful). Even from there it still took a while, I think I finally passed out shortly before 7. Luckily I got to sleep until like 11, so that's something at least. Everyone was pretty much waiting on me so I got ready quickly and threw my stuff together, since we were gonna go to the "downtown" section of the town my cousins live in and go to the airport from there. So we head down there and end up having lunch at this cute little brewery place, I got a kind of curious burger that had shrimp on it but was really good! I appreciated that in the women's bathroom stalls they had a specific note about if you're date isn't going well or you're uncomfortable with who you're with for any reason, go to the bar and order an angel shot and they'll get you out of there safely. That has been floating around the Internet of course, but I very much appreciated them putting it there as I'm sure there are many who don't know. From there we went to some of the little shops and mostly just browsed, looking at the touristy t-shirts and such. I wanted to get a pirate themed sign that says "wenches" for my sister and I to hang out our door but my mom was dead set against it and wouldn't let me 😂 lol. There was one store that had a bunch of funny things and I ended up getting two bumper stickers and two magnets from there, the bumper stickers say "well behaved women rarely make history" which I gave to my sister, and the other says something along the lines of "those who say it can't be need to stop getting in the way of those who are doing it." I couldn't resist the magnets because I knew my roommate would appreciate them, one of them says "Jesus would kick the shit out of you" which is great because that's how I feel about many people who call themselves Christians and then do terrible things to people, and the other has a picture of Trump and it says "days without being a national embarrassment: 0" and I just couldn't resist. From there we made a final stop at a coffee place and then headed to the airport. We said our goodbyes and got through to the gate extremely quickly because the airport is ridiculously tiny, it's literally one hallway with like, 8 gates total lol. Earlier when we were driving my aunt had asked if I was planning on staying in Chicago after law school, and since I made up my mind yesterday that I won't be I said no, and of course my mother was like "this is the first time I'm hearing this" and I was like "yeah well that's because I made the decision yesterday" 😂 lol. But while we were waiting at the gate I mentioned I would really miss my church in Chi more than anything, and she was saying how there are plenty of good ones and I started voicing my objections with many churches which then led to a bit of a political fight and me getting frustrated because she like just doesn't pay attention to anything that's going on and thinks everything is sunshine and rainbows with Trump and I'm just like UGH. But whatever. I'll probably send her news updates now 😂 though idk of she'll read them. Oh well. Got on the plane, and I spend probably a solid half hour defeating the "hard" sudoku puzzle in the back of the airline magazine. I'm out of practice, or it would've been shorter lol but I was still proud of myself for getting it done because there were a few times I thought I was gonna be stumped but I got creative. After that I started a long CC fanfic that had been on my marked for later list but I REALLY wanted to start reading it and it's soooo good so far I just want to read it all the time lol. So I got like 30 pages into that (out of 120) before we landed. Got our bags, then had to take a shuttle to another lot where they were making the cars wait which was irritating, but I guess it's better than the mess it was trying to get through beforehand. Drove home, and are Chinese food with the family. I felt randomly inspired to kick around a soccer ball after, but the soccer ball I had last year had since disappeared, so I ventured into the basement to see if there were any in there. I found 4, two were deflated and two had something else wrong with them that they were like, rock hard, and I swear one of them I bought when I was like six. But I took those two up and tried to play with them, but they did not function as actual soccer balls so I'm gonna have to make a trip to a sports store at some point to remedy that situation. I went back inside after that and decided to watch a movie with my sister, I said she could pick and she chose "the space between us" (I think that's what it's called? Something like that) which I hadn't heard of but was pretty cute, as per usual we only got like halfway through before my sister bailed because she apparently has a very short movie attention span (sigh). We'll finish it tomorrow. I stayed in the back on my laptop for a little bit before joining my dad and brothers in the den, where they were watching an episode of house of cards, which I haven't seen any of but of course recognized Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright from their appearances at the Tonys the other night. After that my brothers bailed, and my dad went to watch where he was up to in season 2 of Supergirl, episode 7. We're watching and they have the scene where Maggie is talking to Alex about still being friends after she initially turned Alex down, and I went to needle my dad about it like "oh aren't you just so mad to see them shoving their gay agenda down your throats???" (totally sarcastic obviously) which then led to a political debate which was endlessly frustrating, but it eventually gave way to a really good conversation about the future and such, and I told him about my decision not to stay in Chi post school and of course he was thrilled, though I made no promises that I'd be returning here the goal is still the job in NYC. I did happen to stumble upon another nonprofit law firm I'd be interested in working for today, except this one is based in California (not an improvement from Chicago). They focus on more than just foster care for broader youth issues including juvenile justice reform, which is definitely something I could get behind. But I really don't want to have to take the California bar exam (you probably don't know this, but it's by FAR the hardest of all the state bars, and the last passing rate was like 49% which is ridiculously low) or really be that far away from everyone when the goal was really to be closer. But I mean, we'll see. Of course my dad immediately starting making his pitch for all the things he has going on here that could draw me back, and I'll admit he did make a compelling case in several aspects. I said that if I did end up out in this general area of Long Island (in a temporary position at least, probably for the government in some capacity) I do not think it would be good for my mental health to move back into this house, which he seemed to understand but said you know we'll deal with that when we get there, so *shrug* I guess we'll see how that works. It's a lot more inconvenient to want such things when you're still asking your parents to finance it because you don't have any money since you're a full time student. But anyway. I also told him something I've been musing on lately, just because it seems like I've been seeing an influx of stories of abuse against children (which it's possible is entirely due to one or two Facebook groups I'm in, but still), especially child deaths, and it's made me want to work as a prosecutor for a crimes against children unit. It's hardly the first time I've considered the idea, I've always said that is the only way I would consider being a prosecutor. But it would be another option at least. But yeah, it was a really good convo and it reminded me why I do love my dad so much, even when his political views frustrate me to no end and I don't think I can ever forgive him for voting for Trump (sigh). But yeah, that's it and it's 5 am now so I REALLY need to get to bed. Goodnight my darlings. I hope you get more sleep than I do.

[2centsofsilver]

Losing My V Card

Telling Brendon All About It! ~ SUNDAY, DEC 23, 2018, 11:50 PM ~

Alright, I’m here!

Katherine

Ok! I’m here

So yesterday Natasha stayed the night and we made out and she gave me some great tips, etc.

We went to Cafe Zola and the Kerrytown shops today and got some gifts for our families

Katherine

She left at like 5:30 back to Ohio. My anxiety today was through the roof. We slept in the same bed last night and I was so anxious about today that I couldn’t sleep. So I took more melatonin than usual not realizing the mg was higher than normal so I took like 3x my normal amount and then got scared I was gonna die so Natasha held my hand all night??? But what ultimately happened was, I was so anxious and then resisting against this intense sleep dose. And ended up not sleeping at all.

Katherine

So today I was a miserable zombie in a horrible mood with Natasha and felt really bad about it and worried about tonight because I wasn’t in a good place to calm the fuck down

And I just secretly wanted Natasha to leave so that I could go home and calm down so I told her I wanted to go back to my place early and she left like an hour earlier than planned and I was able to calm down in bed and stuff

Katherine

Then I go out to my car to do my makeup at like 6. All the makeup that is usually in my car for whatever reason wasn’t there so I had to search my car to find it for 15 min and couldn’t find my main foundation. So I told Ruth I was running late. I was sooooo fucking mad at myself for being unprepared and late and shit per usual. So I floored it to Walgreens, bought makeup at 6:30, put it on, Floored it to Kerrytown and got there exactly at postponed time of 6:45 on the dot somehow.

Katherine

So it was just this absolute shit show right before, as usual, is the point I’m trying to make.

With me? Lol

Yup!

Katherine

I was just really fucking mad and hated myself because this happens all the time

So I text her when I’m walking in, she tells me where she’s sitting and what she’s wearing, I walk in and don’t see her. So I’m thinking I’m at the wrong Sweetwaters. But then I saw her sitting by the window at a high top table. And she. Was. GORGEOUS

Have I shown you a pic??

I believe so!

Katherine

   She looked just like that, wearing this maroon pretty sweater and had her thick dark hair up in a messy bun on the top of her head. HER EYES were stunning. As beautiful or more beautiful than Rachel.

She’s super pretty!

Katherine

Yeah!

So I walk in v flustered because I’m late and shit and walk over, say hi and apologize for being late. She was super cool about it. She said I should go get some coffee. I come back and we just talk for about an hour and a half

Katherine

We talked about how I prefer cold drinks over hot, our families, our brothers, how we celebrate Christmas, her time living in northern Michigan and how much she hated it due to scarce civilization and zero queer community. We talked about Euchre and she did this thing where she asked if she could show me what her brother does during euchre by taking my hands and making them “milk a cow” over her hot tea lol

Katherine

And then she drank the tea.

Oh interesting lol

Katherine

Yeah lmao

And then at some point in the middle of a non-related conversation, she mentioned “lack of experience” and having “only done casual a few times” so I used that as an opportunity into the next segment of our convo

I asked her what she meant by that

And she basically told me that she’s relatively new to casual dating & encounters and has been “dancing with people” for about 3 months

Wasn’t sure what she meant but she said it’s a euphemism she likes to use

So imagine how a therapist has a full case load of clients

She explained she also has an active running list of regulars outside of work that she regularly hooks up with. And she calls it “dancing with people” as in, the dance of casually having sex with many people

Haha ok

Katherine

I joked saying I was glad she didn’t mean she wanted to go out dancing

Katherine

So she explained that something she does is talk to others about the others. Like all the people she’s sleeping with, she talks about the others to the others. I was just like ok whatever. I think she just meant she was gonna reference scenarios with her other people to talk to me about like examples of the kinds of stuff she does. Idk if that makes sense

Katherine

Maybe saying that it’s okay she’s talking about the others to me, like letting me know they’re aware of it. Idk.

So she started talking about some of the other people she’s been sleeping with and for how long, what those situations are like, very generally

Hang on give me a second

Alright

Katherine

Went blank for a sec

I think she went into all that because I asked her what casual dating/encounters looks like for her, and what she’s imagining/picturing for us

And she said something like “everyone is different but there has been a general/typical theme in how it tends to go”

Which is just, meet up, hang out, do something. Then go back to someone’s place

She said every encounter varies person to person

I asked her to elaborate on her lack of experience

That’s when she mentioned number of partners, and starting out nervous. She said every single person she’s “had a sex interview with” has been very nervous and expressed a good amount of anxiety

And described it as a common theme

So at that point I felt comfortable mentioning my anxiety

Katherine

I basically said, “Yeah I also share lack of experience. I have very very minimal experience. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen anybody. This past year I have become more sure of myself and what I want, become more accepting of myself and self confident, whereas in the past my anxiety took the wheel. I feel ready for this and am very excited, but do have a small amount of anxiety”

Katherine

Something like that

Katherine

And I was very grateful because that led her into a conversation about how anxiety is normal, all humans have it. How she and every person she sleeps with has it. And how every single “interview” (she used that word jokingly) she’s had recently has involved the same exact expression of fears/anxiety/hesitancy.

Katherine

She emphasized that multiple times thereafter; that our conversation was a very common theme in all of her most recent meet ups

That many many people show up, express lack of experience, uncertainty with their ability to meet expectations, and a relatively high level of anxiety. And that really was valuable for me. It greatly reduced my nerves and discomfort.

And all the talk from friends about not bringing up my anxiety.

I asked her whether what she’s looking for is entirely non-emotion focused. And she said no. She said that’s not possible. She said you have to be attached a little bit in order to trust someone and feel safe.

Katherine

So yeah it was honestly the most ideal conversation and setup. I increasingly felt more and more comfortable. She was very very easy to talk to. And I felt comfortable opening up and expressing anxiety, not feeling like I had to hide it. I even mentioned varying advice from friends about what to share/disclose about my anxiety and she very much reassured me, repeatedly, that having anxiety was not a turn off for her.

Katherine

That it was completely fine, okay, acceptable, normal, common, expected, etc.

I asked her what I can expect and she asked me what my “yes please” and “no not at all” lists were.

Katherine

I hesitated and she said “It’s okay if you don’t know.” So I asked her for examples. She told me that on her yes please list were things like: biting, slapping, and all the basics including oral. Her no list included things like bondage, cutting, drawing blood, anal. But that she’ll give anal. So I talked about some of the things I love and the things I didn’t want.

Katherine

And then I asked her what her preference around hair was and she was woke af as you said, in not expecting or asking me to physically remove the hair on my body. So I felt very relieved.

Katherine

I talked to her about my experiences with Katie who was manipulative/abusive, Jamie who wasn’t the right match, Mike who nearly raped me drunk, and Rachel whose partner vetoed me. She had a knowledge bad in polyamory and she apologized for what happened to me, saying it wasn’t gone about appropriately. I mentioned things like tightness and fear of pain, asked for open communication, check ins, gentle fingering, mentally freezing, and mentioned body image self consciousness. She said everyone has it and that it’s okay, not a thing to worry about. I said “obviously you can tell my body type through my clothes and if that were a dealbreaker for you, we prob wouldn’t be this far into this conversation,” and she said exactly.

Katherine

knowledge base*

She told me “It’s not supposed to hurt, we don’t have to make it hurt, it will be okay,” etc.

Katherine

I just felt all my anxiety fade away. I couldn’t stop smiling and felt so good and so happy/excited. I felt like I could trust her. She also talked a lot about trauma and filling the void, the idea isolation and physical touch. She’s very much a social worker and I’m grateful for that.

Katherine

Towards the end she said “We don’t have to do all of this in one night. There are no rules here, no shoulds, no have-tos. We can go back to your place right after this if you’re comfortable doing that, we could also call it a night and plan for another night, options are endless.” I thought for a moment and told her I’m feeling comfortable and would like to move forward with this at my place She asked if I was sure, that we didn’t have to, etc. I told her yes I’m ready. I went to the bathroom. Texted you, Natasha, and Rachel. I collected my mental and emotional bearings. Came back to the table and mentioned “being ready but scared.” She said “it’s gonna he okay,” and that set me over the edge. Got me off right there in my pants. Put our coats on and walked out

Katherine

She followed me back to my place in our cars. I felt good the whole time like “it’s finally happening”

Katherine

Came into my place, casually talked on the way to my room about why thI couch was covered in plastic and why my bed was covered in boards but has clean sheets (Lilah has been pissing everywhere). She said she literally does not care what my room looks like. But I thought it was interesting that Natasha and I just so happened to spend hours and hours at the laundromat last night washing my sheets and making my bed and cleaning my room, not even knowing this was set to happen.

Katherine

And my roommate JUST SO HAPPENED to be out of town. It was meant to happen

Phone dying give me a sec

Katherine

Tell you more tomorrow, dozing

DEC 24, 2018, 9:35 AM

Wow!!! I’m so ready to hear the rest!!

This sounds great!

Katherine

Yeah!

 DEC 24, 2018, 3:10 PM

Katherine

Oh I meant to also tell you, that I mentioned having never had sex. Like I was straight up but hesitant about it. And she just sorta shrugged like no big deal, not at all a turnoff. She said she had recently met with another person who had also never had sex. She saw nothing deficient in it whatsoever. So amazing

Katherine

I’m out shopping but will tell you more when I get home!

Katherine

I told her I enjoy dominance but to be more equal our first time. But I told her she could be a little dominant and talk down to me and stuff. I told her I was ok with her basically taking the lead with me. And she said that was fine, that she felt it had already been applied. So that was great too. It was all so ideal!

Katherine

implied**

MON 7:25 PM

How was the actual sex??

Katherine

On my way Home from target, I’ll tell u all about it I promise lol

MON 10:37 PM

Katherine

Ok I can message now lol. Hope you’re having an amazing time with your family I’m gonna just tell ya part II and you can respond whenever you want

Okkkkk so!

Katherine

She followed me back to my place. We talked on the way in. I went to the bathroom and got situated. My nerves were kicking in again but this time it was much more excitement and thrill and fun-type butterflies. I came out of the bathroom, mentioned I was gonna take Tylenol for a headache and then I glanced at her. She was laying in my bed on her side fully clothed, cute as hell, smiling at me.

Katherine

Took my breath away. I was so damn wet already My god. So I sorta blushed and went in my room, asked if we should have the lights on or off. She said hallway light was enough so we turned the lights off. I wasn’t sure what I should do so I asked her (that is basically how we went about the whole night step by step which I loved and deeply appreciated). I said, “Should I take off my clothes?” (I assumed the answer was no and that we’d get there but I was trying to figure out what to do immediately lol)

Katherine

So she said, “It’s ok, why don’t we just hang out like this here for a little?” She was so nice and could sense I was nervous so we took things real slow. She got close to me and sorta was sitting on the bed facing me, I was also sitting facing her. And then she sorta stretched out back onto her side smiling at me, so I did the same. So we were laying there on our sides fully clothed up close to each other. Whole time she’s saying, “Yeah, just like that, that ok? You doin okay?” etc.

Katherine

Felt very safe and comfortable

Katherine

So then she put her hand on my shoulder and kinda rested it there, kinda rubbing my shoulder and arms a little, asking if I’m doing ok, we got calm. I don’t remember what we were talking about but we were talking. And in a minute or so, I just sorta looked up and said “ok” and started nodding. And she’s like “yeah?” Maybe I said I was ready. Idk. It was all very natural. She was really really firm on getting solid yes’s from me before continuing because she knew I had been assaulted by a guy several years prior. So I’m like “yeah” and she asked if I wanted to go a step further and I nodded. She’s like “yes?” I’m like “yes” and then BOOM it was like a sex scene in grey’s anatomy LOL

Katherine

She pulled me in, dove right in, we started making out relatively hard. It was like, perfect timing perfect setup, and I was immediately good at it. Damn. She is a good kisser. I felt comfortable the whole time and used lots of tongue and all that. She was much better than Natasha lmao. I was just really loving every moment, felt like a learner soaking it all up. Like the tongue movements...we twirled tongues in circles over and over. Who knew that could be so exhilarating!

Katherine

She started kissing the side of my face, my forehead, all the way down my neck, my shoulder, she had her hand on the back of my neck. I was shocked by how IMMEDIATE the sensations were. Like what the fuck. I didn’t expect that stuff to feel SO GOOD

Katherine

I started kissing her face, down her neck, her shoulder, and put my hand on the back of her neck, and kinda gripping her hair. It smelled so good. Her hair is so THICK and luscious. Whole time she’s telling me it feels really good, saying “yeah” a lot and letting me know what she liked. I’m thinking “damn, this is either just how people communicate during lesbian sex or she actually thinks I’m really good” lol

Katherine

But she seemed to REALLY like what I was doing. Like at one point I put my hand on her back and she said “Yeah I like that. I like your hand on my back like that” so I liked being told what she liked

It was very affirming for me. Confidence boosting.

Katherine

Soon she says “I’d like to take this off you, if that’s okay.” I was wearing a red knit sweater. I was so excited for that moment for some reason. I wore it on purpose because of how smoothly it just falls right off my skin. So she slid it off me, and started kissing down my arms, etc.

Katherine

I said, “what about my shirt?” And she said “Would you like to take your shirt off?” And I said yes so she helped me with that too. And then I was just in my bra and pants. And she started kissing my chest

Katherine

I was kinda nervous to be exposed but she was like rubbing my stomach and stuff and didn’t seem repelled or anything and I was enjoying it so much so most those self conscious nerves were gone. By this point I’m completely outstretched. I asked her if she wanted me to take her shirt off and she said ok so we did. I kissed her all over, etc.

Katherine

Debating how detailed to go on this next part LMFAO

Breast play????? Is...... AMAZING. What the actual fuck. Who knew.

She started doing that to me with my bra still on and I was like already over the edge lmao.

We were still making out, kissing on the lips, etc, just a variety of all of it by now. And then she asks, “Do you want me to take this off?” pulling at my bra. And I said YES

AND THEN

Katherine

We took that off. And get this. By natural instinct I covered up. I literally covered my chest by kinda folding my arms in front of me, twisted over from back to side, and put my head downward. Like I didn’t even realize I did that. And she noticed. She was very good at noticing when I was less okay

Katherine

Because I’m REALLY REALLY embarrassed and ashamed of my breasts. Like really bad. Because when I got assaulted by Mike Johnson, the way he looked at them all confused when he realized they weren’t perky. The way he held them and sorta paused to think. The way he tried to get my nipples to come out even though I don’t have naturally erect nipples. I remember how badly I wanted to cry when he did all that. So I was really ashamed when my bra came off. I didn’t want her to see my chest. Isn’t that sad???

Katherine

And she kinda caught my eye contact when I looked down. And then I just laid on my side for a bit kissing her, etc. And we were facing each other side by side again. And she looks at me and she’s like, “You know. It’s helpful when I can see you.” I hadn’t even realized I’d done that, because I didn’t know what she meant. I’m like “Oh...haha, ok, wait, you mean like my face or the rest of my body?” And she said “Both.” She had paused. I don’t know how to explain it but it was like she saw a moment and caught it for me, and wasn’t gonna let me feel ashamed. It was like “let’s tackle this before we continue,” so we took a pause

Katherine

She’s like “It seemed like you were hiding a bit there,” and I just said yeah, and she was like “we are okay.” And I’m like ok. And she said ok? And I’m like ok. And then we moved on. I rolled back onto my back and let myself be exposed and closed my eyes. And she moved into my breasts and what happened after that was history lmao

Katherine

She starts feeling all around. I was blown away by how good it felt immediately. I remember that with Mike a little. Just felt really really good. I personally like hard rough play in this area and was planning to ask for that. And I pretty much did right away. She had told me she likes biting, both providing and receiving. I love receiving. So I basically just told her to do things and she did. It was all very exceptional. And then I really emphasized how badly I wanted her to hurt me. And she said “You also said you were scared about pain,” and I said “Yes but up here it’s ok.” So yeah I asked her to do the maximum. Pinch. Pull. Bite as hard as she can. Etc. Lots of pain lots of gain. I looooooved it. She asked me if I wanted her to SLAP me. I wasn’t sure about this. Thought about it. Said ok but not too hard. She did it once and i liked it so she did it maybe 2-3 more times. I know this is beyond detailed but I’m also gonna he copying and pasting all these messages into one consolidated blog entry on my private tumblr so yeah lol

Katherine

Gotta write it somewhere lol

Then she started rubbing a certain area and saying “you’re pretty dark here. You may bruise here,” and I said ok that was fine. But omfg. My boobs are SO SORE and bruised today. I’ve got hickies allllllllo over omgggg

I just bruise so easily in general, it’s insane

Katherine

So then I ask if she wants me to take her bra off. We do. She says, “Is this your first set of tits?” I’m like yeah. She goes “This is the first time you’ve ever played with a woman’s tits?” And I’m like yeah. And I’m pretty sure I said “I’m nervous” or “I’m scared” or something. And she said it was ok, “everything will be okay.” I said “what should I do?” And my voice was all fucking nervous and shit. And she said to just play with them. So I went for it the same way she did for me. And she again, affirmed everything I did just by her reaction/sounds but also by telling me.

Katherine

I was like terrified to even look at, touch, lick, or bite her nipples but I did and she loved it so it felt good knowing I was providing something to someone and she was enjoying it

Katherine

She said I was really good at it. Loved the biting. It went really well. At this point things took a turn (in a good way) because I asked her if I could straddle her other leg to get to the other side. And in doing so, my knee brushed against her down there, and the way my body was moving just from licking her up top was causing that to also happen down there so it was like a good segway into part II which i was so ready for. I think I asked her if we could take my pants off. So we did. She helped me. She brushed her hand up against me down there with my underwear still on and it almost sent me right over the edge. She’s like “Is this where you want me” and I couldn’t even talk. I nodded. But she wanted that yes. So I gave it to her. So she started feeling and everything and I told her I wanted her to take my underwear off. She asked if I was sure. Etc etc. and then she did. And moved right in. And I’m not gonna give you details but it was EXQUISITE. She started with her hands. Then moved into oral. Then used her hands again. It was just like. I had hit another planet.

Katherine

Like my mouth dropped open and I said “Holy moly” lmao

Katherine

The oral was just beyond imaginable. Idk if it’s like that for everyone but she knew exactly what she was doing it. Like, v skilled. And then I asked her to finger me. And that was the part during coffee where I expressed great fear and history of pain so she wasn’t sure and definitely asked me if I was sure. She said “you’ve talked about a lot of pain and tightness down here” and I said “yeah but I want you to try and just be gentle.” And she said “We are not required to do this. We don’t have to. We can do other things,” and I said “I know. But I want you to.” (I DID!!!) I told her it can be painful but a huge turn on for me when and if it’s not. So she said ok but said, “if anything hurts, I want you to tell me and I’ll stop.” And I said I will don’t worry

Katherine

So she worked on me a bit. Slow and gentle. I am not kidding when I tell you there wasn’t much pain. A little uncomfortable but she was able to get in there. I incrementally asked for 3 fingers. And she was able to go pretty deep without pain. There was SOME pain here and there. Some intolerable and I spoke up. But I wanted her to try it and we did. I liked it. Halfway through I was shaking from anxiety and cold and expressed that and she covered me up. It was super sweet. It almost felt even better all covered up in blankets and stuff

Katherine

We worked down there a damn ass long time

It was great

Lmfao @ holy moly!!!

Katherine

Then took her underwear off. I didn’t go down on her because she got very very tired lol. So I fingered her till she came. She fingered me more till I came. And then we kissed some more. And then we just laid there. It took over an hour till I came. And then it was really quick and fast and she was confused by how fast I’d orgasmed. I said “I can usually go again right after” and then literally masturbated in front of her and got off in like a minute. But it was still super fast and she was struck by that. Didn’t understand why my orgasm wasn’t longer. And honestly I’m not sure either. I told her after providing myself with millions of orgasms all my life, I sometimes wonder and feel as though I’ve lost my ability to have strong ones anymore. And she thought that was interesting. I mentioned “we’ll have to research it” lol and work on it.

Katherine

Lmaoooo glad you liked that

After I got off to myself she’s like “is that the first time you’ve ever got off in front of someone before?” And I said no, I orgasmed with Mike Johnson. Etc. But yeah

This is all so great so far, it sounds like you had a fabulous night!

Katherine

Then we just laid there and talked about my job lol. I showed her videos of my kids on the JCC tablet while we were still naked and panting which is probably wrong and messed up in numerous ways but WHATEVER lmao. I wanted her to see what I do for a living and she loved it. She said it seems I really love those kids and my job. Then she said she was tired and needed to sleep. I thanked her a ton and said I hope it was okay for her and she said I did a wonderful job. We both got dressed. I walked her to my door. We hugged. She kissed my forehead. And I pulled her in and kissed her hard on her lips. And then she left.

Katherine

She said when I get back in town to let her know and we’ll do it all again.

Basically I’m now on her “outside of work client list”

Because she has a list of people she regularly sleeps with and I’m basically in now. In the books. Lol

I’m so happy brendon

Haven’t stopped thinking about it all day. This morning I got off like 5 times in a row thinking about it and didn’t wanna leave my bed lol

Katherine

OH- there were 2 awkward moments. 1 was when I asked if she was comfortable fingering me anally and she said yes. She did okay but she said she had never done that before. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted and then I was mortified because I forgot that sometimes there’s a smell and so I didn’t say anything but I initiated we move onto something else. Like I was entirely clean back there but I completely forgot that sometimes that can happen. I didn’t utter a word about it but took the lead in moving back into something else lol

Katherine

And then the other awkward thing was an overwhelming need to pee as we moved closer to orgasm. She said that just meant I was close to orgasm. But I fucking know how an orgasm feels for me and this as very much a desperate need to pee so we stopped and I went to the bathroom and COULDNT PEE. She said it’s probably just anxiety and I think she was right. But then she said her hand got tired later and prob wouldn’t have been so tired had we just kept going rather than stopping and then starting over again lol

Katherine

But yeah that’s the end

As the JCC teachers sing at story time: “That’s the end of the story, that’s the end of the story, that’s the end of the store-eeeeeeeeee! It’s time to sing some songs!”

What song should we sing today brendon? If you’re happy and you know it? Ok! Here we go! If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!!

I diiiiiiid it brendon!!!!!!!! I DID IT! I DID THE THING!

You really did do it!!! I’m so happy for you and also proud of you!

It sounds amazing!

And like you’re gonna do it again soon

I’m glad she was so patient and comfortable and kind

Katherine

Exactly!! Yesss me too!! Thank you Brendon!

All day today, extra energy in my step. Fucking grinning everywhere I go

I TOLD SUSAN

You’re confident!

Katherine

I know!!!

Sounds like it was everything you wanted and needed

Especially in your first time

Katherine

Yes like a dream

Yes

Katherine

And no relationship needed. Like it was the perfect amount of everything just as is.

Which is great

Katherine

I don’t really want a relationship right now

Exactly

Oh also, 2 things I forgot to include. Both awkward

At the very beginning of her going down on me. She spread my legs and I cramped

Like leg cramps on both sides

Katherine

Embarrassing because ya know. I’m fat and I cramp up and she had spread my legs as wide as possible. So I voiced it and she acted like it was no big deal, completely normal, asked if I wanted to prop them up with pillows so we did and she adjusted them and no more cramping. It was like she knew exactly what to do or something

Katherine

And then the other thing was, halfway through the whole thing she said, “Are you familiar with sub/dom BSDM at all?” And I said yes (just from so much porn watching over the years). And she’s like “Well, one thing that tends to be common in BDSM, is the phrase, ‘You are being a very good girl.’ Is that something you’d like me to say to you?” And I wasn’t sure.

Katherine

Like the majority of me didn’t really like the ring it had because it feels fake, scripted, not real. I’d rather her talk down to me and TELL me to be good. But I didn’t like the “good girl” thing and should have told her. I said we could try it so we did and yeah. I didn’t hate it but it wasn’t something I’d wanna do again. I like being told I’m doing good, or to be good. But I don’t like that good girl part.

Katherine

Like that I’m a child and she’s a parent or something. Idk. Didn’t feel right

But then, the thing is, I have my own specifics that a lot of people would probably be uncomfortable with in their own sex life

So we are all different and I get that.

But I have kinks that I’d LOVE to explore with her that are def different and more uncommon. I’m assuming she won’t want to for at least one of them.

Which is fine and completely understandable

And then a third thing that happened was she asked me to slap her breast. Which I wasn’t uncomfortable with or anything. Just nervous and embarrassed to do??? I did it once. She said I did really well. Idk. What are your thoughts on these last few things?

[opepin]

september: week four

18: i woke up before my alarm went off. i didn’t sleep well for the last few hours of the morning... i’ve only been getting 6 hours of sleep on average lately x_x; i did get myself to do a weighted leg workout and then i showered and made my first chocolate peanut butter banana smoothie -- i fell in love. i washed all the dishes before leaving and then said goodbye to kevin. i got to the train platform 10 minutes earlier than usual but i still got to work at the same time -__-’ there were delays again. oh well. then i did a bit of work, played with the surface pro we have at the office, organized my spam email because outlook thinks everything is spam -_-, took a break with cole so he could give me guava candy LOL. so cole slacked me and told me he brought in candy so i thought it was something suspicious but then he gives it to me and it’s the guava candy i can find at the asian grocery market. apparently, he bought two large bags full from amazon -- he’s so funny. well, we talked about food and what we ate as children before heading back to work.

i didn’t have much to do so then i ate lunch and went to figaro’s with cole so he could get his lunch. i got a chocolate chip brownie and ate it all... steve, cole, and i ate in the office supply office LOL and talked about random things like horror movies and birthstones. it was a great time. then we all headed back to work. i headed back and realized i only ate 1/3 of my lunch. i ate another third and then packed it away -- i was too full. then i got on stand up and went right into a meeting with phil. after that, it was already 4 pm. so i headed over to steve and cole’s office and then chilled with them for a bit. i brought over the surface and drew on it and they were impressed with my drawings ;D the surface makes my handwriting look so nice :3 they just finished their work but then i think something broke? so i went back to my office, did a little bit more work and then took my laptop over to their office to work while they finished up their stuff. dave left me all alone in the office for a meeting; joe left early because he wasn’t feeling well. then i walked to south station with cole, took the train home, got all of our mail, tried talking to erin but she was gone, got my first eggie shirt, and went upstairs to the apartment. i got my $200 visa card for my laptop trade in and i got my try again tee from eggie. the tee isn’t as nice as i thought it would be, but it’s still pretty awesome.

after i sorted through the mail and stuff, i got myself to do my butt workout and i died doing the bulgarian split lunges. i think my legs were exhausted from my workout in the morning still. i think i need to cap my lifting to 30-50 min max per day until i get stronger. the workout should have taken 30 minutes but i think i took 40-45 minutes x__x; the struggle was real. i also lifted 5 lbs heavier for basically everything... ded. my legs pretty much felt like numb jello after. i stretched and foam rolled a bit before showering. then i made myself another delicious chocolate pb banana smoothie before washing the dishes. i ate the leftovers from lunch with congee and more tofu and beef while watching youtube videos. then i made kevin a greetabl for our upcoming 2 year anniversary and then did internet errands. oh, i also managed to get tickets back to chicago for thanksgiving for only $4.50 more than my previous christmas tickets. (((: so i’ll be back in chicago! oh, kevin went out to meet up with old friends and i didn’t want to go so i spent my time at home doing my own thangz.

kevin got back and then we talked and cuddled and i ended up falling asleep on the bed for 30 minutes -- i was so tired from lifting. i just wanted to ko. i got myself up and made pico de gallo while chicken cooked the chicken thigh for lunch tomorrow. i stayed up for a bit longer but then just brushed up and went to sleep at some time... probably around 12 am. kevin also showered early and then played a few games and went to sleep early. we were both tired for some reason. well, i know why i was tired. i think kevin went to sleep late last night LOL.

19: i slept in today and woke up extra sore. i ate a pork bun for breakfast and then got straight to work. i took a break when kevin woke up and decided to work from home as well :) i made us the chocolate peanut butter banana smoothie i’m in love with right now and he loved it too! he says it tastes like ice cream LOL. then i went into meetings basically for the rest of the day -- it was a day for design meetings. kevin got the entryway bench from the package room and built it while i was on a design call then i got a short break to eat lunch. i helped move the bench to the entryway and moved the shoe rack over to the other wall. then i went on to stand up and then into another design call. i managed to do some errands and ordered a new toilet brush on amazon prime now. i also booked us a river tour because i forgot about a groupon i bought and it reminded me today. so this weekend will be packed: apple picking and charles river boat tour. i felt pretty dead... maybe it’s because of the weather. x_x; after that, i did some work, took a break to do some yoga, and watched some videos and then hopped on a call with phil so i could prepare more training stuff.

i started reading ‘sourdough’ by robin sloan and i instantly got hooked. i read until kevin gamed, played guitar, and before leaving for the fitness center. it was my recovery day today so i thought i would try doing the elliptical; it was a mistake. it’s nice that i can watch food network but the motion and quad work required of the elliptical were too much for my quads because they were super tired from yesterday’s 60 minute lifting session... it felt weird and i got really bored and kept looking at the clock until 30 minutes were up. kevin ran alongside me and then we stretched and showered. we ate leftovers for dinner plus some of these glutinous rice balls filled with purple sweet potato filling and mandu! yummm. we watched 1 1/2 episodes of agents of shield and then kevin went to game and i continued reading for the rest of the night. i actually finished the book before going to sleep! it was a really great book. it’s not one of my favorites but still a really good read. i felt good. kevin and i actually went to sleep at around 12:30 am. we were both tired. x_x;

20: i woke up at 8 am and then fell back asleep until 8:30 am. then i got up and did a hiit workout but my thighs were burning... i don’t think i rested it enough. i need to rethink my workout schedule again lol. i also managed to hurt my wrist a bit too? it was a really hard workout. i stretched my quads after and then foam rolled. i showered and went to work before making my fave smoothie. kevin wanted some but didn’t tell me so i drank all of it by the time he came out of the bathroom xP i guess it’s time to buy bananas in bulk :) then i went back to work and so did kevin. we both wfh again because we were getting our ikea package today. it was a pretty packed day for me with all the meetings. we had a design meeting that kind of went over on time but then we stopped so dave and i could have lunch. kevin and i snuck in an episode of agents of shield while eating. then i hopped on stand up and then i got on a call with phil to plan out what to do for the upcoming training sessions. at this point, i got really annoyed because phil wanted me to do a run through of the first session and i wasn’t feeling it. i feel like it was kinda overkill to have me do it again. he kept commenting and he told me to slow down (which i do need to do but i was doing it fast because it was a run through). i think he’s very stressed and worried about this but my nerves have come and gone and i’ll do it like i do usually.

well, during the call, the ikea guys came and then it happened so that phil needed to get on another call and so i got off and opened the door for them. then kevin got to building the dining table. i was annoyed and just frustrated about what my role is at t7. i feel like i’ve been a shared asset in which i don’t really have a solid place in training or design so i feel like i’ve been tossed back and forth. in the future, i have a feeling that i will be set to more training and i don’t know how i feel about that. i would rather design than teach different customers something over and over again. yeah, that’s the thing, phil wanted me to prepare for something i will be doing SO much in the future and that bothers me. it seems so monotonous. sigh. i vented to cole a bit and then i hopped off the computer after work and did oblique workouts without weights and on my mat. apparently, there are a lot of isolated ab and oblique moves that make you lose your hourglass figure, especially with weights so i’ll keep weights to a minimum for now. kevin went back to working for a bit before cooking. i put on agents of shield while he cooked.

we ate and watched agents of shield and then washed up. kevin went on a run and took some cardboard with him. after i showered, i took some cardboard and recycled it, washed the wok left in the sink, checked if our new keys opened the storage room, took some suitcases back there, and then took out all of the garbage. kevin came back and showered. oh, we also took out the mirror first when our package came and put it in the room. it looks so nice! it was getting late so i brushed up and hopped into bed while kevin gamed. i think i went to sleep at around 12 am or something. i was tired.

21: i got up at 8:30 am and then did a back workout in the morning. i took it easy on the back because later in the evening, i’d be doing arms. then i came back, showered, and kevin and i got in a small morning argument but then made up before he left lol. man, i am moooody. i made 2 eggs for breakfast and tried mixing pb, cocoa powder, and milk with a spoon in a cup; it failed miserably D: i drank it anyway too. then kevin went to work and i started working. i hopped on a design call and then ate lunch while watching the ‘masterchef’ finale! then i talked with phil, hopped on another call, then went straight to stand up. yup, lots of calls today. after, phil took a break from all the calls and then i finished up the finale while working. i’m so happy dino won. this is the first time i am happy with all three finalists, actually. i wanted jason to win the most but i really liked dino throughout the competition.

anyway, after doing some edits, i hopped on a call with phil again and then made some more edits and ended my work day at 5:30 pm. then i headed over to the yoga studio and did my arm workout. it was my first time working out my biceps and they burned T__T then i came back, relaxed, and showered. kevin started cooking dinner and i watched some youtube videos. then we put on agents of shield and ate our first meal from the dinner table! yay (: then we moved to the sofa and watched another episode. well, kevin went to wash dishes and i walked around while watching to get in some activity. then kevin decided to make the ikea chest and then run. i helped make the drawers and did any two person thing but it was mostly kevin building it. the last time i made a drawer was last year and i the drawer is now falling apart because i built it angrily... LOL. so i let kevin handle that. it actually took us 3 hours to build it... i knocked out after we built all six drawers and then woke up to check in on kevin. i drooled on my shoulder... then i helped a bit and ko’d again until kevin asked for my help. then i just stayed up watching kevin hammer nails into the back and then we moved it into place along with the drawers. lol it was like 2 am and i was ded.

i brushed my teeth, kevin was not going to run so he showered, and i fell asleep before he even got in the shower. lol the first time i ko’d was at like 12 am. i am weaksauce hahah. i think we went to sleep at around 3 am...

22: kevin and i basically rolled out of bed and then kevin went to work and i hopped on my computer. then i made myself an egg sandwich with pico de gallo and a glass of chocolate peanut butter milk. i watched ‘girl’s trip’ while working and then went to practicing teaching my training module. phil pinged me to catch up and then timed myself. i got the first part of the session down in just the right amount of time, but i kind of rushed the second part. i looped back around and talked with phil and both of us felt good about going into this. then i think kevin came back and he went to do something??? probably cook. so i did an intense stretching session for about 40 minutes. yeah, i think i watched some ‘beat shazam’ while kevin cooked and then we put on shield and that’s when i finished up stretching. lol we spent the rest of the night watching agents of shield. we got up to the last episode before the season finale!! i noticed i only walked like 6k steps and tried getting to 10k steps in the last 15 minutes of the day. i got about 2.5k steps before it hit 12 am T___T kevin ended up getting more steps than me today...that’s sad tbh LOL. well, i think we stayed up a bit longer just chilling and thriving in the friday night bliss before the weekend~ we went to sleep pretty late LOL.

23: we woke up hella late. we woke up too late to go apple picking T__T lol. i think i got out of bed at 12 or 1 pm. kevin and i were so tired. mmm we ate breakfast and we moved furniture around in our bedroom. i hated the way it looked and brooded over that for a while and i got super frustrated. kevin left to game and then i got up and started watching an episode of ‘beat shazam’ while walking to lift the bad mood i was in. i felt a good deal better after walking around. then we meal planned and drove over to the mall where bdubs is. it’s our two year anniversary on the 26th and we didn’t really plan anything for it. i wanted to but we’ve spend so much money on the new furniture so we didn’t really want to spend more money on a fancy dinner. so what did we do? we went to bdubs, got fried mushrooms, and split a medium boneless chicken wing platter for only $25 to celebrate LOL. we got the right amount of food to finish everything. we tried their blue moon wings and they were pretty good. the thai curry wings taste like the golden curry sauce haha.

after lunch, we went to auntie anne’s to get buy 2/$6 pretzel nuggets. mmm. we got the original nuggets with the limited edition pumpkin spice one. the pumpkin spice one tastes exactly like the cinnamon sugar but with pumpkin / nutmeg flavoring. we walked over to target and then kind of got lost in buying stuff. i got thinkthin protein bars because i couldn’t find the oatmega bars, we tried looking for the glass bowls but they were all gone, and then i found a polar bear hooded blanket and kevin and i fell in love with it. we then found really cute appetizer plates with a clever print on them by cheeky and decided to try to find where the polar bear blanket came from. the one we found seemed like it lost its packaging? it was in aisle c10 according to the scanner but there was no c10... there was a c9 and c11... we found someone and he told us the display was c10 LOL. we looked but couldn’t find another one. :( but then we stumbled upon a bear night light that would look really nice on our chest that was placed in a spot i hated in the room. so we ended up getting that bear. we also got the last of this bear box!! it was meant to be!! we were looking for a box to fit under our entryway bench cubby to make it look more put together.

at this point, we needed to get out of there so we wouldn’t go back for the polar bear hooded blanket. on our way to the register, i found the oatmega bars and got the chocolate coconut flavor. then we checked out, went to kam man for groceries, went to bj’s for the rest of our groceries, and came home. we put away everything and hooked up the night light and put the box in its place. ahhh, everything is starting to look so nice. we were both pretty full still so kevin went to game and told me he’d come by to run while i went to work out. i did a total body strength workout for 50 minutes. i actually extended my workout because i was wondering where kevin was? LOL. oh, i also love doing clean presses. anyway, i went back, showered, and kevin was still gaming... this boy. then he cooked and i believe he did run at some point. i washed the dishes and tried out the oatmega bar -- it’s delicious! i hope the whey concentrate isn’t too kfjnskjdf for my stomach. after kevin came back and showered, we had rice cake soup again while watching the last episode of agents of shield’s season 4. woooo. the ending is super ambiguous. we cleaned up and we might start watching game of thrones and westworld now. mmm. i think i was super tired after and i went to sleep while kevin gamed. well, that’s usually how it goes haha.

24: i woke up at 9 am and then did a hiit cardio workout. then i showered and woke kevin up. we ate breakfast just in time to leave to get to our charles river sightseeing tour. i ate a thinkthin protein bar after my workout and it hurt my stomach :( it’s probably the sugar alcohols. i think i’ll stick with my oatmega bars for now. we made it just in time for the train and then kevin needed to use the washroom right after getting off the train so we looked around but couldn’t find a public restroom. we walked to the mall where the boat would leave and kevin used the washroom there while i waited outside so that the boat wouldn’t leave us. well, we got there 10 minutes early and kevin had time to use the washroom. we were the last people on, we got a ginger ale to share, and we enjoyed the rest of the ride. we spent half of our time in the front to feel the sunshine and breeze and the other half inside to just sit and chill. the boat wasn’t going fast so there wasn’t that nice breeze but overall, the ride was so relaxing. we got off and got taco bell at the food court and walked to the train station. we entered through the wrong side of the kendall train station and then went to the other side but had to wait for kevin’s monthly pass to work again. the attendant didn’t have her badge and did her best to help us though. lol. i can’t blindly trust kevin when it comes to these things now LOL. we both gotta check what side we’re entering xP

we took the train back and then we drove to the target in stoughton to check if they had the anchor hocking serving bowls. it said online they had a limited stock. we checked in the aisle and they were all gone and asked someone for help and he said there were no more T___T so we got kevin’s shaving cream and drove back home. it was a rollercoaster ride of emotions today with the boat ride, the train situation (it takes the monthly pass 20 minutes to become usable at the same stop), not finding the bowls, and then coming back home stressed because i still needed to do chores and i wanted to get a good night’s rest for training tomorrow. well, i got a tension headache and ended up sleeping on kevin’s shoulder and taking an hour nap. lol i snapped at kevin for leaving me on the couch LOOOL but then i fell back asleep. i woke up and right away, i made myself some food. i think the bar effed up my stomach. then i started the laundry and guess what happened? the washing machine drum made a dent in the metal outer structure of the washing machine and it was making sounds like it was going to explode.. it was really scary. so we had to call the emergency maintenance line and they couldn’t do anything about it. @_@ so we put it on quick rinse and finished our laundry. i feel like everything wasn’t properly cleaned though...

kevin helped me clean the kitchen and i cleaned the bathroom. he vacuumed a bit and then we both worked out. i did another hiit workout and he ran. he showered when we got back and then i waited for the laundry to dry because i had no underwear. he cooked and then i showered. we watched some youtube videos while eating and then kevin cleaned up and i folded the laundry. then we played ‘crawl’ together to see if we liked the game -- we’re keeping it. i still had a bit of a headache so i rq’d for the night and he went to game on his computer. i went to sleep at like 12 am because i was going to work from home because i didn’t want to be distracted by anything while leading training. i also learned that uni are sea urchin testicles....