#im so tired rn but i cant fucking sleep
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i call him eric by his government name because i know him personally thats my best friend. i file him as a dependent (foreman, eric) on my tax returns thats how close we are
#im so tired rn but i cant fucking sleep#eric foreman is like a son to me. my kitty cat son who i love forever for one million billion years#wish i cld draw so i cld draw him i love him so fucking much#literally my favorite. besides house obviously but i love foreman SO MUCH#HES MY GUY#i cant be cohefent abt him#house md#eric foreman#house md shitpost
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I love how one line tore this fandom apart from it's handsewn stitches that were covering piles of patches of this old holed fabric and just made a gigantic fucking tear right in the middle of it
"Honey I'm home"
Yeah, I'm freaking out, it's very cute, I love it, but lmfao
No I am too tired to process emotion so I am not physically freaking out but it's still dope as shit
#i just saw a post where someone spammed honey im home over a post of another person doing the exact same thing#tbff same#but its still funny#damijon#jon kent#damian wayne#supersons#batman#Robin#i refuse to call jon superboy because i think its unfair with kon#i love them so much but i cant write jon for shit so canon has to cover my fanfiction needs and holly fuck it's doing it#honey im home#honey im fucking home#fuck#enough#i am tired#feeling like tim rn#someone knock me out cold so i can sleep
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"Hows writing going?" I literally look like this
#reaction pics#memes#op's reaction pics#op's memes#i fucked up my sleep schedule. haha.#im in sleep limbo hell! hooray!#im too tired to do stuff but cant sleep#solition: do stuff while pretending to be asleep#might have figured out why i keep getting the depresso spells too lol#so hopefully that gets fixed soon too#i love you guys#im gonna be more active soon im just a lil dead rn /lh#fake guy fierri voice: WE'VE ALL HAD IT#i love fake guy fierri so much#my son#my father#my holy spirit
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i have this thing where i cant use wired headphones without wanting to rip out my eyes because if i feel the wire like brush against my arm or something its maybe the worst feeling ever? completely projecting onto polly with this one. anyways apollo would simply just not buy wireless headphones for himself either because a: he cant afford them or b: he wants so bad to be normal so he's just pretending it doesnt bother him. so thena gets them for him because thats the only way this guys ever gonna get heaphones he can use in peace.
#welcome to me projecting all my autism onto polly#actually is this an autism thing?#idk sometimes. when i feel things touch me. it causes me agony#like rn im getting that and i swear im sO CLOSE to fucking crying i cant do this#apollo justice#doodle#aa5#ace attorney#athena cykes#fanart#my art#i cant do backgrounds#and the comic thing i threw in was very rushed because i didnt want to do it in the morning#im so tired im just watching danny gonzalez#im gonna go to sleep now#bye
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i have sleeping problems in a not-fun way. i have sleeping problems in a “i am probably going to get fired from my job if this keeps up but there’s nothing i can do about it” way.
#in neg city#i keep falling asleep at work and my boss keeps catching me and she is Not Happy w me rn#which like. theres only so much i can do when it takes my body like 4 HOURS to feel like im here#and i know im walking on thin ice rn shes already vaguely threatened to fire me its only a matter of time before that becomes real#but theres nothing i can do about it bc im not tired at night EVER!!! AND IT TAKES ME LIKE THIRTY MINUTES TO AN HOUR TO FALL ASLEEP#AND I ONLY FEEL WELL RESTED AFTER IVE SLEPT LIKE 10+ HOURS#EVEN ON WEEKENDS I SLEEP UNTIL LIKE 2 PM AND I STILL WAKE UP TIRED#I LIVE IN AN ACTUAL LIVING NIGHTMARE IM GOING TO LOSE MY FUCKING JOB BC I CANT SLEEP#CAFFEINE DOESNT HELP NOTHING HELPS ITS JUST GOING TO HAPPEN
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should be socially acceptable if someone doesnt get themselves a desk lamp to make them sit in the dark what the fuck man
#gotta sit here under the fucking big light#because NO ONE bought a desk lamp#so whenever any of roommates wants to sit at their desk and do something they TURN ON ALL THE LIGHTS????????/#the erasmus living with me rn turns on literally all the lights for everything#she turns on the lights to sit and scroll tiktok for an hour#im so so tired please use a fucking desk lamp#USE WHATEVER#i literally dont want to disturb anyone so i use my phones flashlight religiously#whenever i cant use my lamp and need some light#unfortunately im the only one who gives a shit about not blasting one million lumens of light into everyone elses eyes#not helping that we sleep on bunk beds right under the fucking LAMP#i need to be carried to the ER
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im trying to redo the aesthetic of this acc or whatever so sorry if i change my pfp or banner or intro or any of that a lot, im rlly indecisive 😞
#i alwyas have ideas for what ro put but then i forget#but i cahnged my pfp and banner and deleted my entire intro ans edited it so yeah plz dont forget me#im so tired rn my sleep schedule is fucked yp and i cant spell#goodnihht#future man
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guys i am so frustrated with the lack of wlw ships honestly. Shipping discourse is dumb asf as we are all very aware but it's sad how people will see two random guys who have never talked in their life and go wow!! my yaoi uwu babies <333 they're so in love but god forbid togachako, who are at least on toga's part canonically confirmed to hold romantic feelings and are literally a prewritten enemies to lovers,,, crickets. Come on yall do better
#im just tired#wlw ships are something that can be so personal#the lack of them is genuinely upsetting#like you go on the ao3 tag for togachako? barren#were sleeping on them guyyys#im talking togachako rn because miryumi and midjoke are just me being delusional#but come on#if people can be delusional for todobaku or whatever the fuck why cant i???#sigh#mha#bnha#togachako#my hero academia#boku no hero academia
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the fact i can stay up for over 24 hrs while already running on less than 10 hrs of sleep before that and still have yet to be a normal about of tired is both surprising and FUCKING ANNOYING
#god someone sedate me#like i dont wanna go to sleep bc i dont feel tired and i cant begin to go to sleep unless i feel tired otherwise i wont sleep as fast#my eyes feel heavy but not in a sleepy way idk. i can feel my brain detereorating as we speak BUT I CANT BRING MYSELF TO FUCKING SLEEP#if i get temporary insomnia because of fKN JAYVIK??? idk what i'll do but i will be shocked either way#which yes thats part of the reason ive been staying up all week its to browse the jayvik tag n lose track of time#but also i tried to go to sleep yesterday bc i was tired and i woke up like 4 hours later and couldnt sleep again so thats annoying#even when i try i cant do it HAHA but yeah i think ive been awake for over 24hrs which makes abt <10hrs combined for like 3 days#also ive saw some shadows move so thats how that is going rn HAHA#so im doing great and my mental health is at an all time high🫠👍🏻#i'll take a melatonin gummy and see how that works out i guess. at least i dont work tomorrow lmao (or i guess today now technically)
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augghh ,.....
#girl i wanna cry so bad#im so tired#and my gormones are not helping#my mother just fucking bombarded me with so mant questions about uni and i know shes trying to help#but im genuenly so tired i just want to go to sleep#and she keeps asking me stuff and im standing up and my uterus hirsts so bad but she didnt stop expanding#on shit that was SO unnecesary#fucking . have u not heard me before#i told you 5 times that im not recursing this class because it would be so bad#and you keep asking my stuff about what if i did retook it#why do you never listen !!!!!!! and then when im tired of trying to get a word in#you start complaining that this is jow a lonologue and not a concersation !!!!!#my sister in christ whenever i try to speak you dont stop tlaking. what do yoh mean#and i took 2 bugs out of the house and now i have phantoms bugs feelings . feel like there are moths flying toward sme#would be ok in other situations but i cant deal with the phantom sensation rn#crying from frsutration. help!!!!!#im genuenly so sad and angry and upset#not even at my mom. shes ok but rn shes getting on my nerves because im very sensitive and im so tired#i just want to sleeeeep. please.#girl i frel like such a failure#the 10 girl goes from getting 10 in four classes to barelt passing 5 classes. devaststing#i prommy i know im more than my grades but my ego is not feeling it this time#i feel so burned out time is slipping through my fingers#i want a hug 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪 fuck#sorry for the long venty post. if u read this far u deserve an award
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I did it 👍👍👍 audition video is finished and sent 👍👍👍
Ended up requiring about 4 and a half hours straight of practice. After years and years of not. Practicing. I have, in fact, gotten a blister already. On my right pointer finger, bc of all the plucking while I was practicing the fingerings. Whoops! Fingers on my left hand are raw as fuck, but currently no blisters. We will hope that stays true!!
Funny side effect of me wearing color changing nail polish rn,
The strain on my fingers was very visible. Right pointer finger warmer than the rest of that hand bc of the plucking + developing blister. Right thumb a Lil warmer from holding the bow. And the pinky just the Slightest bit warmer from supporting the end of the bow.
VS my left hand that had AAAAAALL burning hot fingers. *Wow* was it hurting by the end. But I pushed through it and recorded my damn audition video even as my fingers fucking HURT from doing it. I persevered!!! And hopefully I will be rewarded with an honorable spot in an orchestra 😌
But yeah for 5 hours spent mostly cleaning and then 4.5 hours spent playing my violin. What a day it's been. It's almost midnight now and I have not played any sims. I should change that. I should also probably eat a bit more lol.
#speculation nation#i cant... stay up for too much longer. im so fucking tired rn#today was Punishing on my body. i aaaaaache.#all this on top of only getting 5 hours of sleep last night vfkavfmsh what a fucking time.#but i wanna do Something fun today at least. so i will still play a bit of sims. just not Too much.
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Fml. I have mental illnesses for real fhat arent just garden variety anxiety and depression <- sorry it turned into a vent/rant in the tags. The perilous poster
#THIS IS NOTHING IM FINE !!!#i just had to remember earlier that sometimes i dont get to be myself#and i drove through my ahit moms town for no reason#and we got a kitten and of course i feel like the only one reasonably concerned#so idk if my concerns are valid or if im overreacting and i dont know how much of my worry is justified#what if im just being a party pooper?#ANDDDD on top of that i dont know where the kitten is rn. and its fine. ots fine#but my mind keeps flashing me images of him stuck somewhere or hurt or somethinf#and i was supposed to be watching him but i left to make food#but my family keeps going 'oh lets do a small trip' so i dont add anything to the list#and then they get a bunch of bs and i dont get any food#WE DONT NEED COSMIC BROWNIES MAN I NEED TO EAT A REAL MEAL THAT MAKES ME FULL PLEASE GOD#and our older cat hates the kitten and im worried the stress is gonna kill him because hes fucking 19#agghh aaghhhhhhh and i cant keep up with everyone and im overwhelmed and i think im just like#upset because i havnt had real food but fuck man idk what to do about that#i coukd bike down to the store and get a sandwich#but my stupid brain keeps going 'if you leave the kitten will die and its your fault'#even though thats not fuckong correct#and i just. aaghhh. aaghhhhhh#and im overheatinf rn but i cant go to my room bc aforementioned kitten desth prophecies#and i. just. aaghhhh ghhhhrrhhhh ghrrrr#im fine im fine i just need to complain i need to be a bitch#ANDDD im tired cause i coulsnt sleep which isng helping#god ive been having a bunch of panic attacks lately too i stopped having them so much after quitting school
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computer fastest way to the joker lair NO freeways..... puter?!
#computer fastest way to not being exhausted all the time.....PUTER SAVE ME#im so#sorry not sorry im ranting in the tags rn#i havent had sex in so long#i wanted to hang wuth my partner this weekend FINALLY alone without having to fucking drive 7 hours to be alone and acutally ahve like no#plans and we get stuck with the baby and im so sick of being treated like an extra mother for him#i love him so much dont get me wrong but like..... why am i getting NONE in my relationship bc im too tired after dealing with him or the#teenagers and the one fucking time ive been looking forward too all week i get fucking dumped with the baby AGAIN#like i do not want kids for THIS EXACT REASON no fucking free time no fucking time for myself or my fucking hobbies or my fucking partner#i wanted to cut and dye my hair today after shopping i wanted to sit and fucking watch a movie and makeout with my partner and instead i ge#a sick toddler whos fucking sleeping like shit to worry about like GOD I WANT TO SCREAM#im just#so fucking done with kids and babies anf fucking children and i cant stand this house and all the noise and all the fucking mess and just#EVERYTHING it is everything i hate and i cant fucking do anything about it and i fucking CRIED bc i was so frustrated and i dont cry super#often not bc like i think its weak i just its not smth i do often and im just sick of my relationship having to go ont he backburner bc of#the baby and IM FUCKING ONLY 22!!!!!!!! LIKE WHY ARE THESE MY FUCKING PROBLEMS AT 22 WITH A KID THAT ISNT EVEN MIIIIIIIINE#okay i need to shut up sorry#tw: vent#tw: rant#「mercury speaks」
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how it feels to randomly get rly overwhelmed and frustrated and bitchy and feel like youre going insane
#like its so dumb i shouldnt be this upset its not just rhe stupid drawing everything is literally wrong . i need everythinf 2 stop 4ever#i want to eat something savory but i cant bc rly what i want is a spambowl but i cant fucking make spambowl bc everybody in the house will#lose their shit that i didnt offer to make any for them <- uncharitable. at most lamp would make a joke abt it. but i also just dont want to#cook. but nobody else can make spam bowls#well lamp can but they prefer when i make them. but we have 4 pieces of leftover spam i need to use up bc theyre jusr in a ziploc#and thats enough for A spambowl. but iii dont feel like it#it wouldnt even be that like. actually no incouldnt thered be too much rice#we only have boil in a bag rn. and 1 bag is for 2#so if i want spambowl id Have to share w lamp which i dont mind its easy 2 like. yk. 2 spambowl is what i usually make so i can do it pretty#easy. but im like om the verge of tears for no reason so i cant be in the kitchen#'for no reason' well my periods coming up inliterally got rhe notif for it. thats the reason#i need to get back on t i need to get a job i need to graduate. slamming my head into the wall#i feel like now its been too long since i worked and nobody will hire me . man#but i also like. idk i. id probably be better if i had a job bc id have to be but i feel like i cant keeo anything stable#i cant even keep my fucking sleep schedule steady i get it fixed for a week and then i fuck it up#im so tired i wish things were easy. whateber man . i think maybe i just need to sleep
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Forget school actually please send hate to distract me from no money I'm so hungry o(-( dunno how much longer I can go with the 1 food item per day money saving scheme to attempt to afford rent
#diary#eating issues cw#not bc eating disorder for oncebut yk#mfw my periods stopped#idk if bc food or stress but wehhhhhhhhhhh hewp me#mfw ottawa unlivable rn#next sem student loans should save me for a while but they dont come till Jan...#like. ive been here before but im rlly sick this time (im usually sick but lol) and then exams on top of that and stress abt grandparents#im excited to see parents for xmas bc i feel like i cant continue on sometimes and i dont feel safe being alone in my flat#esp bc its so... like. dark aand small yk and i get claustrophobia but housing is so expensive rn so its the only place i could afford#idk idk its nothing new but im at the end of my line rn#ive been sleeping w the lights on despite cost bc paranoia and i think its fucking with me tbh tbh but again claustrophobia#like in general idk if i can go on like this 🗿🗿#i feel so sick and cold every day and also tired nd its hard to study when im scared to buy water bc card may decline and my fridge is empty
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hey guys
#vent#just... gimmie a sec im gonna put it in the tags i cant find the readmore on my phone rn#im havin a straight up not good time but not the worst in the house!#the worst is my cat. whose old and dying. and i have no money to put to sleep to fuckin put us both outta this misery#typical. she cant get a heart attack and go fast like my moms dog#shes gotta wail and be ill for a month while im recovering from one surgery and trying to get ready for the next#its also an amazing time for my ocd that i learned i have from artists on hear explaining what it is to send me into spirals#over germs. but shes just 20 with teeth and respiratory issues her whole life and been struggling with constipation#so i KNOW how shes dying. shes backed up and hungry and dehydrated but feeling bloated still and not eating or drinking.#shes probably got arthritis and has been moving like a geriatric for a while but its to the point now she wont even lay down. shes just#perched on a pile of towels in the bathroom dozing and occasionally crying for me to come pet her. im so fuckin tired#and theres nothing i can do! the vet i could find a timeslot for in a reasonable time said 500$. so thats cool. im paying 1000$ for me in#a week for my stuff and its just. god all she and i are doing is crying and it sucks ass#she wants company for comfort and i dont blame her - so the fuck do i!#but i cant sit in the bathroom with her my damn legs keep going numb. and my roomate 1) cant emotionally buoy me thru this#and 2) has a long work day tomorrow and its already mad late. sigh#dont try to offer me condolences ive worked thru her dying already its just now we're botb exhausted in the form its taking#if anything i just need another distraction to keep me from spiraling over something again#edit: ARUGH AND THE OTHER CAT THROWING UP IN THE OTHER ROOM. GOD DAMN IT#the younger one has so many allergies and wont stop fucking eating things off the floor babygirl i am BEDRIDDEN you gotta stop eating shit#off the floor!!!!!!!! you have specialty food for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#awesome it was right in my bed
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