#a sick toddler whos fucking sleeping like shit to worry about like GOD I WANT TO SCREAM

[a-ikuoliver]

computer fastest way to the joker lair NO freeways..... puter?!

[olivereactsaboutgarbage]

Higurashi When They Cry - Watanagashi Chapter 9

Time for the third of my four remaining daily posts this year!

Keiichi's new plan is to never be asleep at any point in time, ever. Mion wasn't asleep either, so Keiichi says she was up all night playing video games instead of studying, but Rena knows that's wrong.

Somehow, Rena decides that the mayor's disappearance is a great way to accumulate more Rena Points. All the other characters have all sorts of reactions to that too, including some nameless faceless ones.

GUAAAAAAGH A SNEAK ATTACK FROM MY FLANK BY A GIANT RENA!!! AND WORSE YET, SHE'S SPICY WRONG

W-Wait, I understand now! This is Attack on Titan's horrifying LUNCH SUBPLOT!

Well, I won't worry too much about it.

Although I can't wait for the horrifying revelation that the reason Toddler 01 hates pumpkins is because of the Jack O'Lantern Ghoul or something.

Also Keiichi suggests that Mion and Toddler 02 might be sleeping together. An interesting idea.

Dear lord.

DEAR LORD

I feel like I should be able to make a joke here, but every horrible label I can think of is probably true about Rena on some level or another of the narrative, if we account for Keiichi's dubious speculations at certain points within certain scenarios.

Toddler 02 isn't sleeping with Mion, obviously. Toddler 02 is in the Wet Place. Also, she's in Trash Mannequin Mode.

Yeah I would shudder too if she was that huge.

Toddler 02 wants to know Keiichi's secrets. Keiichi is getting fed up of how repetitive this arc is.

So true!

Keiichi decides to make this arc less repetitive by actually divulging secrets for once, but then he gets scared and changes his mind.

Yowza

Toddler 02 tells an awesome story about cats. It's super cool if you like cats. Keiichi isn't sure who the cat's supposed to be.

I'm not sure that's true.

Keiichi starts mucking up this awesome story by introducing even more, less cool animals.

Yowza

Ah yes, your inability to rely on a Toddler is definitely because you're extremely confused.

haha oh fuck that's badass

Toddler 02 also tells Keiichi to completely erase Camera and his girlfriend from his mind. Well that's callous. Have some respect for the dead, Toddler 02! Everyone knows dead people love being the center of attention.

Toddler 02 is also sick of Kaiji Joke Parts. She wants Mion to stop being a character in the story instead. Well that's no good at all Toddler 02! Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame on you.

what the fuck this got deranged fast

LOL

Keiichi gets another Shion phone call. Shion wants to be a detective. Like L. From Death Note. Playing at being your sister, are you, girly? Well I wouldn't blame you for that.

Shion thinks she has a Schrodinger's Stalker depending on whether or not Keiichi has a Stalker. Keiichi says "I don't have a Stalker," and then immediately thinks to himself "Or DO I?!"

God that sucks shit. Well anyways

Shion can make him worse.

Boooooo! Be more like Mion. (<-I would say this to anyone)

Shion reveals that her family being seen as evil criminals goes back to the dam. It all goes back to that damn dam. That dam looks like a DAMN dam.

Also a little kid teleported to the mountains or something.

Also Mion is apparently the ultimate evil.

Wow so much for the broiling tension between Shion and Ooishi. I guess I really WAS wrong about that.

Man she's really Ling from Death Note hard. Although I still haven't watched it.

Uhhhhhhh maybe you should tell her about the MAYOR'S DISAPPEARANCE???

Well, not that I like her or want her to have access to information.

Oh, oh good, she's not entirely out of the loop. I mean "bad". I mean "neutral".

Bah! Hypocrisy.

Oh, Shion actually trusted the mayor so much she told him a bunch of cool secrets. Is that the same thing as how Rena said Mion was the mayor's best friend or something?

wait what the fuck this is exactly what Rena said but about Mion, not Shion

Rena are you Keiichiing?

The problem with this theory is that there's no reason someone as lame as Keiichi should be target numero uno.

Keiichi decides Shion's theory is correct and that it means certain doom for Toddler 02.

Meanwhile, in Side Story Land...

Somebody's been SCHEMING??? A shrine-visiting SCHEMER???

Ooishi's investigation says that someone made the events of this arc plausible on purpose. A sinister incompetent locksmith or some such.

Actually, it just so happens that the sinister incompetent locksmiths were a major-Toddler 02 duo. Well that's a silly coincidence.

[spideyspeaches]

Sweet child ‘o mine ↬ a.r

sweet smily babie

A/N: Requests are open btw! I love writing Arvin and I don’t have any arvin requests so you can request for arvin btw :) 

Request by @kelieah​ : okay okay. let's get to it hehe. arvin right? oh my god you should write a dad!arvin 🥺🥺🥺 and reader is pregnant but he's like super protective and lowkey a wreck bc he doesn't know what he's doing? and reader is probably really close to popping the baby? up to you, can't wait to see what you write! :)

Kk so I went a little overboard with the fluff XD 

WC: 1.3k+ 

Pairing: Dad!Arvin Russell x Pregnant!Reader

Masterlist || Taglist 

Arvin was a protector by nature. He protected all the people he loved, whether it be his late sister, or his girlfriend, now wife and a mother of two. Before you had your first child, Arvin would constantly hover around you till it annoyed you to the point where you would sleep in a separate room.

("Hun don't lift those! You'll hurt the baby!" Arvin shrieked, rushing towards you as you held the shopping bag in your hand with an amused and angry expression. 

You were nearly six weeks pregnant, nowhere near your due date, and yet here you were.

"Arvin, this is one single shopping bag."

"Yes but you shouldn't! I saw what happened to the neighbour's wife when she tried to lift 'er bed!" 

"Arvin…" you said, tapping your foot impatiently, dropping the shopping bag near your couch.

He was looking at you with a worried expression. You didn't give him time to answer, instead pulling him for a deep kiss. 

And what if you were with a child? You were still horny and he was right there looking like a snack.) 

You found the protectiveness endearing, especially watching his gruff exterior cut through like a knife. But you were pregnant and you were grumpy, sick of his overbearing attitude and had finally asked him to leave you alone for two seconds, maybe have a cigarette or two. The poor guy had looked heartbroken that day, just enough for guilt to brew in your heart, but you stood your ground. 

That day also happened to be the day your first child, Willy, was born. You had convinced yourself that you would never witness such a site as of your husband holding your firstborn with utmost care and love radiating through his every pore, bobbing the baby’s little head as he hummed some lullaby, his soft voice lulling your tired form to sleep. 

“Mummy why is daddy walkin’ like that?” Your four year old son asked, looking at you with his daddy’s big doe eyes, making you coo at his adorable expression. 

You were sitting on the couch, nine months with your second child, way past your due date as your son sat besides you, a hand on your rounded belly, smoothing down your dress and “talking” to his brother. You found it cute, already feeling the love the little child was going to get from the second smallest member of the Russell family. 

You watched in amusement as Arvin paced the hallway, burning a hole in the rugs as he ran a hand through his hair, messing them up as he cursed softly. He had been like that from the day your second child was about to arrive, only for them to want to stay a little longer in your belly. 

"Honey you're gonna bear a hole in there." You said, burrowing your brows as he looked at you. He was a wreck, you could see it in how he tried to work two jobs, only to meet you when you were back in bed. 

“Daddy’s a little tense right now hun, he’s… he’s worried why the baby hasn’t come to us yet.” You said, caressing Willy’s head as he snuggled next to you, nodding with a faux serious expression. 

“Maybe the babe feels safer in your belly moma, it must feel very much loved.” He said with a toothy grin, bumping his nose to your bump as you laughed, hugging your little boy closer to you, tickling his sides, He shrieked with laughter as you bent down as much as you could to kiss his forehead.

“Well the little bugger has been kicking moma for a while now, I think he really wants to come, just findin’ it a wee difficult.” You said, hissing as you felt another kick under your ribs. Massaging the area just like the way your midwife had told you to. You sent your son a wink, hoping that he wouldn’t get too scared at your state. He, like his father, was also very protective of you and the baby.

Hissing at another contraction, you tried to do your breathing exercise, groaning at the pain you felt. 

“Daddy! Daddy moma is hurt!” Willy shouted, getting off the couch and running off to where Arvin had been pacing the room.

“No no no hun! Moma is alright, just a little- oh oh Arvin!” You groaned, stretching your husband's name at a painful contraction as you watch him frantically run towards you, stumbling at the carpet and falling on his knees in front of you.

“Hun? Baby speak to me, how far apart are the pains? Do you think it’s time? Should I-”

“Arvin?” You winced, holding your belly.

“Yes honey?”

“Shut the fuck up and do me a favour, get the bag ready will ya?” You said, clenching your jaw as tightly as you could without breaking your teeth, immediately feeling guilty at his crestfallen expression. He was only trying to help you.

“Yes, yes sweetheart, I'll be right back.” He said, scramming to go to your room to get the bag. You knew he had already packed it, unpacked and repacked it multiple times to keep his mind of the calendar. 

“Moma? Are you hurtin’?” You son asked, hearing a sniff. You sighed as you saw tears form in his eyes, running your hands through his hair as he sniffed loudly. 

“No bun, it’s nothing bad, moma’s fine. I swear.” 

“But you’re crying!” He cried out, launching himself on your chest. You sat down with a “oof”, the weight of your son sending you on your back sprawling on the couch.

“Willy! Be careful!” Arvin shouted, pulling your crying son off of you and palming his head as he buried his face into his father’s shoulder, wrapping his little arms around his neck as Arvin cooed at him, trying to shush his muffled cries. 

“It’s gonna be alright bubby, I’m not crying anymore, see?” You gritted, groaning loudly when you felt one resonate to your back, a pop sound startling you enough to widen your eyes.

A breath later, the only thing you could hear was your son’s sniffs and your breathing, the wetness between your thighs amplifying as you gave a loud groan, groping for your husband’s biceps, “It’s happening!” 

“Oh- oh fuck shit, sorry hun, Willy, do daddy a favor and open the car will you? We need to take moma to the hospital.” Arvin instructed your son, who obediently nodded, a determined expression taking over his adorable face as he ran outside. 

“Arvin!”

“Comin’ sweetheart, just a minute!” He grunted, positioning himself by your side, sliding his one hand under your knees and another at your back, You shrieked as he carried you bridal style, your son holding the door open for you.

You would have called the ride torturous had you not heard the shrill cries of your newborn, squishy wet cheeks and scrunched eyes fitted in the palm of your hands a few hours later. Laughing near hysterically, you gently rocked the newly swaddled baby boy in your arms, looking at your husband’s shiny eyes as he carefully touched the baby’s forehead. 

“He’s so tiny.” Arvin whispered, rubbing his thumb on the soft skin, watching in awe as the baby yawned, the little eyes scrunching up as they slowly opened, adjusting around the world in a newfound wonder. 

“He’s perfect.” You smiled, seeing your four year old hiding behind Arvin’s legs, watching you unsure of himself, “Come here bun, want to hold your brother?”

“I can hold him?” He asked, peaking at you through his eyelashes.

“Of course you can son.” Arvin chuckled, lifting the toddler as he sat on your bed, looking at you with wide eyes. 

"Here, hold his head, careful." You whispered, holding one hand on your older son's hands, guiding him to hold his little brother as he looked at the baby in wonder. 

"He's tiny!" Willy said, mimicking you when he saw you holding the baby. 

"You were this tiny too once, son." Arvin said, smiling at you and Willy. 

"No way! I'm a big boy." Willy argued, pouting, which made you and your husband laugh.

"Whatever you say baby."

[misskittysmagicportal]

When Vicky Needed Honey

(An OC Kiss Week collaboration between @super-unpredictable98 and @misskittysmagicportal. No warnings, just mother/daughter love. Moonwalkers/The Umbrella Academy AU)

I woke up with that weird feeling again. I looked over at Klaus, still pretty much asleep, and grunted. On my way to the bathroom I prayed and prayed, but no luck. My period was nowhere to be found. A couple of days, I can understand, an entire week is a bit more worrying.

The last few days I've been feeling kinda sick, but it could be stress. I've been feeling kinda tired, understandable after two apocalypses. I've been feeling a little dizzy, which could easily be from the time travel... But my period wouldn't come, so that was starting to freak me out.

"Hey, Vanya... Would you buy a pregnancy test for me?" I rehearsed in front of the mirror. "No, no, I should ask Allison. She has a daughter, she'd understand, right?"

I nearly jumped when Klaus shifted in his sleep, I hoped with all my might he didn't hear what I just said. I sat on the edge of the tub and let my head roll back. How the fuck did we let that happen? We always wear a condom!

Well, technically a condom has 98% of effectiveness, according to the box, which I was reading as I thought about it. That means... 2 out of 100 women will get pregnant. With the amount of sex we have, it wouldn't be surprising that I could become part of this 2%. Damn it, Klaus! Why do you have to be so charming? Blame it on three decades of suppressed desire I guess.

I had to talk to someone, someone who wouldn't judge me, someone I could trust. There was only one person I could think of, so I went back into the room and as silently as possible, I slid the black briefcase from under our bed. The date was already set, so all I had to do was open it.

I felt that familiar pull of time travel, that endless rope that dragged me across the universe, which seemed to take forever, even though it was less than a second. As soon as I landed, I regretted it, my stomach did not like the disturbance and I felt like I was about to throw up.

"Vicky? Are you ok?" I felt a gentle hand on my back and took a few deep breaths before being able to turn back.

"Honey! Thank fucking God you're here! I need to talk to you."

"Is it Klaus? It's Klaus. Oh my god, tell me he's alright"

"Alright, I think we should sit down for this one..."

Honey nodded with a smile and took my hand as we made our way to the couch. I chewed on my bottom lip for a little while, thinking of the best way to say it, but I didn't wanna admit it:

"So, I'm gonna say it and I need you to listen because it's very complex," I started. "I think I'm pregnant, and I feel horrible because I don't want to be. Not that I don't want any kids, I do, in the future. The problem is that we just came out of the second apocalypse, everything is a mess, my family is all over the place. I love Klaus more than anything, so I don't wanna throw this onto him, you know? He's been through so much already!"

"Sweetie..."

"And I'm terrified of not being a good mother, the only mother I ever had was a robot. I love her to bits, but what if all I can give my child is robot-love? I don't even know what it feels like, my birth mom clearly didn't love me, she chose to give me away for money, I understand she wasn't expecting to get pregnant out of the blue, but... I don't understand why she couldn't love me. I feel so selfish and so stupid for letting this happen, and I keep thinking about my biological mom, I'm freaking out here," I started sobbing. "You're the only person I can talk to."

**

Honey began to live for the sound of her “kids” popping by the apartment. She brought the books home with her more often in case Klaus would come by to learn more about himself. Or Luther who really just wanted the tiny woman to hold him the way a robot never could. And Diego who well, was always hitting on her. Allison and Vicky and Vanya helped her feel not so alone.

Yeah, they were her children. They were mostly older than Honey. The discarded. The outcast. Who suffered abuse. They were the bought and sold to a billionaire. They were a magical pregnancy and 43 terrified women, one she would become 15 years from now. Thank God she already knew what one of those felt like.

Honey was checking on Sugar and Sunny as they napped. The large crow with his beak buried in his ebony feathers kept one large yellow eye on them from above. Sunny was enamored with the corvid. Klaus, despite being 35 years older than himself, was deeply jealous.

It was from their room, after hearing a familiar VOIP sound in the living room, that Honey just felt in her body something was wrong. There was an anxiety emanating from Vicky whose back was to her.

“Vicky? Are you ok?” Honey gently touched the woman. She wanted to hug her, but opted for minor affection.

Vicky's expression in response worried Honey. “Is it Klaus? It's Klaus. Oh my god, tell me he's alright.” Her lip started to tremble. For a clone of Leon, Klaus was infused with his mother.

Half an hour later, Honey could only stare slack-jawed over Vicky's guts being spilled all over the couch. So to speak.

Honey took Vicky’s hand and did what her mom would do. What she and Julia found themselves doing with their children. Whether they were full grown men or toddlers. Honey kissed Vicky's hand several times and held it over her heart.

“First of all, I can't speak for your birth mother or the others. I know Klaus told me it was a spontaneous pregnancy. Like BAM! We're suddenly giving birth. For me, even being 45,” Honey shivered dramatically, “I would rather kill Reginald and take you all. But whatever the other women did. That's on them.

“But! If anyone knows about an unexpected pregnancy, it's me. She's asleep in the other room with her brother. I think I realized I was knocked up, I just ignored it until Leon mentioned something about my body being new. We NEVER used protection. Pills in the sixties were for married women only. The fact that we had sex for over a year before anything happened is a freaking miracle.

I took two tests in the flat. Then at the clinic. Just a few weeks before, abortion became legal AND funded by the NHS. I told no one, went and made that woman tell me every single step of the process. I asked how easy the adoption process in the UK is. I wasn't keeping it no matter what.”

Now Honey took both of Vicky’s hands, “You have so many readily available options.” She kissed them both again, “But please just let Klaus know. It's YOUR choice. YOURS. Ultimately, I changed my mind. I had her on my own. Pregnancy, birth, her first six months. I wasn't even on the same continent as Leon. But if my baby would have half his looks, and his way of loving, and even an OUNCE of his heart, Leon deserved to be a dad. I WANTED to have his baby. I don't regret my decision. I don't want to regret yours either. We all love you.”

Honey kissed Vicky's forehead, “I mean I'm your mom now.”

**

I would've started crying if I wasn't already, it felt so good to finally have someone to hold my hand. I can only imagine dad's reaction if I told him I was pregnant with Klaus' baby... It was awesome to not be judged for once.

"I wanna tell him, I'm just scared... If I really am pregnant, I wanna keep it, but what if he doesn't like it? What if he doesn't wanna be a dad?"

My desperate rambling was interrupted by a blue surge of energy right in the middle of the room, that could only mean one thing... Klaus and Five fell from it with a loud thud.

I had to cover my mouth not to scream, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest, but Honey seemed pleased with the new visitors.

"Jesus Vicky... I woke up and you were gone, I was worried!" Klaus squeezed me in a tight hug.

"I told you she was fine, Victoria can handle herself," Five rolled his eyes. "It's not like she can get hurt."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disappear."

Klaus moved to give Honey a hug as well, she kissed his forehead and urged him to sit down between us.

"I know this face, Scnucki..." Klaus placed his hand on my cheek. "What's wrong?"

I looked over at Honey and she gave me a reassuring nod. With a sigh, I took Klaus' hand, tracing the 'hello' with the tip of my finger.

"Klausie," I tried to muster the courage to say it. "I know the timing might not be the best, things are a little crazy right now, but I think I might be..."

"Might be...?" He stared at me nervously.

"Pregnant."

Klaus' mouth dropped and he widened his eyes. Shit! Shit! He hates it, he wasn't happy. He was gonna leave me right there and then.

"But we always..."

"I know, but apparently condoms are only 98% effective."

"You two really abuse your luck," Five mused.

"Timing isn't great, but if you want to keep it, I'm with you. It's our baby," a smile tugged at Klaus' lips. "And I love you, so..."

"Actually," I got up as fast as I could. "I love you too, but I'm not pregnant. If you guys will excuse me, I gotta go to the toilet, like right now!"

**

Honey watched as Vicky ran off to the bathroom. She was left with a bewildered Klaus, slack jawed over everything that quickly took place. She could only snort as Leon popped up from the same corner Vicky had just flown around. Mouth agape identical to his clone.

“Alright love,” Leon kissed her on the cheek. “Never told me the kids were coming ‘round for a visit.” He eyed up Five, still uncertain of him.

Klaus dramatically planted a fist on his hip, “Im thirty-six.”

“Too right. What's going on? Is Vicky ok she looked barmy.”

“Well we were almost grandparents.”

“GRANDPARENTS?! I'm thirty! Bloody hell I can't keep track of the ten we have now. Can't handle a baby, mate. Not coming from you. No offense.”

“All of it taken,” Klaus quipped.

“Well we don't need to worry about it. Pretty sure Vicky just overwhelmingly got her period. Better luck next time!”

Every single person in the room nearly knocked Honey flat with a loud in unison “NEXT TIME?”

She wouldn't make that mistake again.

[theangelwithashotgun8]

Even MORE FAHC BS!

A continuation of this but you don’t gotta read that to understand this. Basically a look at Ryan and Gav’s relationship is, apparently, my newest FAHC AU

-

"This is Gavin." His new boss had said as he plopped a toddler in his arms, "You're his new bodyguard."

If Ryan was being honest, he'd taken up Ramsey's offer because he had nothing else going for him. Very few people were willing to take on the quiet, creepy, kid who looks like he was too young to be on the streets. Being a glorified babysitter is not the kind of job Ryan thought would be what gets him out of sleeping in alleyways or behind dumpsters, but he's that special kind of desperate so he just hefts the toddler onto his hip and nods.

He doesn't actually have to do much at first. Jack and Geoff are very involved fathers, often sitting on the floor for "tummy time" as they encourage their son to speak. Ryan doesn't know how hardened criminals like them came across a baby of all things, one that doesn't look a thing like them, but he tries not to think about it. Gavin is a happy and healthy kid, that's as good as it's gonna get.

But things get progressively harder whenever they go out. Gavin doesn't like his stroller, will scream bloody murder the second he goes anywhere near it, so Ryan is usually left carrying him or holding his hand as they walk. Turns out, Geoff has a lot of enemies and all of them want him and his family dead. Jack can hold his own, but Gavin is a literal baby and can't do much.

Ryan has always been okay with violence, had bloodied his own knuckles to protect his own and he's quick to react to threats. He's young, barely out of his teens, but he's vicious and ruthless and does it all with a smile on his face and Gavin on his hip. No one touches the kid when Ryan's around.

~

It’s been a year since Ryan moved in and Gavin still won’t speak. He babbles a lot, blows spit bubbles, and ecstatically points or walks over to the thing or person he wants.

But he won’t talk.

Geoff and Jack are in a mad race to get their son to say their name first. It usually involves bribery of the highest form, but it never works.

A small part of Ryan thinks he shouldn’t care, he’s just supposed to keep the kid safe, but he’s grown… Fond of the small family that took him in. So he comes home form the library with at least 10 different parenting books, all of them saying that children will speak when they’re ready.

“So you’re gonna talk when you’re ready, huh squirt?”

And Gavin, fist jammed in his mouth, blinks up at him with innocent eyes before giggling. He waves his spit covered hand around in excitement and says,

“Rye! Rye!”

The entire apartment goes silent at that. Had he? Did he just?

“Rye! Rye!”

Ryan cries as he scoops the toddler into his arms and though he threatens dismemberment if that fact ever gets out, Jack and Geoff can’t find it in themselves to really believe him.

~

Gavin is four.

It’s Jack’s birthday soon and Ryan is standing in the middle of Macy’s with Gavin perched on his hip as he scans the rows of handbags and necklaces. Right now the little monster is content to chew on his fingers and tug Ryan’s hair.

Jack had recently started her physical transition, now that they had the funds for surgeries she decided to bite the bullet and go for it, and he wanted to be supportive of her. Hence, staring at handbags and jewelry and wondering why he never thought to ask Jack what her favorite color was.

On his hip Gavin squeaks and slaps his hand on Ryan’s face.

“Okay, that’s it.” He says as he places the four year old on the ground, “You have legs. Use them.”

He still takes Gavin’s hand to make sure the curious boy doesn’t wonder off, “We’re buying a gift for mommy. What do you think she’d like?”

For a moment he thought the kid wouldn’t answer, but then he pointed at a display case and Ryan laid eyes on a gold necklace with green gems arranged like laurel leaves. It was simple, pretty, and would look nice against the dress she bought for herself last Christmas. If she and Geoff went out on a date it would be perfect.

“Good taste, Gav.” He said as they walked over to the case and politely asked for it.

He knows he still looks young, that the baby at his feet doesn’t help that image, but this is Los Santos and fuck if retail workers don’t already see too much weird shit. The cashier doesn’t even hesitate, just tells him the price and doesn’t bat an eye when he pays in cash.

All she asks is, “Do you want that wrapped?”

As they’re walking home Ryan knows they’re being followed. They aren’t subtle about it, not in the slightest, and Ryan feels more irritated than scared. Gavin starts to sing some stupid song he heard on Blue’s Clues and it’s then that Ryan feels a trace amount of fear. He tries to shake them, but what they lack in stealth they make up for in persistence. He’ll have to take them out then.

He turns to a parking structure that’s empty and surrounded by construction cones. The upper levels are unstable, but the city’s workers are stretched too thin and it’s sat abandoned for months. It’s the perfect spot for a confrontation. He rushes to hid Gavin near a part of the cement wall that’s fallen away. It’s a tight squeeze but Gavin is small for his age, he’ll be safe, out of the way, and out of sight.

“Stay here, okay? Don’t come out until I come to get you, don’t make any noise, and don’t look.”

“Is this real?” It’s their special code for when things are very serious and Gavin needs to be quiet.

Ryan nods as he tucks Jack’s present into his arms, “Very real. Hold onto this and don’t let go, okay?”

“Okay.”

When they come for him, Ryan is ready.

A part of him used to wonder if he should worry about how easily he kills, at how much sick joy he finds in feeling sticky blood on his fingers, but whatever innocence he had is gone now and he doesn’t worry at all. It scares Geoff and Jack, sometimes, at how efficient he is at his job, at how calm he is when the slaughter begins, at how effective his torture methods are. Sometimes he causes pain just to cause pain and that concerns and frightens them, just a bit, but they love him and how good he is with Gavin so they keep quite about it. They aren’t angels, they won’t try to act like them.

When he’s done there’s little left of the damn thugs. With their entrails and squares of skin thrown here and there the parking structure has turned into a macabre mural. He’ll have to come back later to burn the whole place down. They had screamed, but no one bats an eye at that anymore in Los Santos, he has time to hide the evidence.

He looks at himself, at the jacket stained with blood, at the boots that are sticky with things he doesn’t want to think about, and decides he should be cleaner about it next time. He shrugs off the jacket, wipes his hands off with the cleaner insides, and throws it somewhere he doesn’t care about as he turns to the crevice where he hid Gavin-

And he froze.

Gavin stood there, in full view, staring around him with wide eyes. Ryan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t mind that Geoff and Jack are scared of him, but Gavin… Gavin is different. He’s had the kid on his hip since day one, he’d changed his diapers and argued with him to eat his vegetables. They watched cartoons on Sunday together and giggled whenever Ryan made a funny face at him. He was the one person in the world not scared of him, and now he’d ruined that.

When he opens his eyes agin Gavin is still standing there, but… But he isn’t scared. He looks curious, a little grossed out, but not scared. He’s still looking at Ryan like he always has and a part of Ryan wonders if he should be concerned with that, but he’s too thankful to think about it too much.

Ryan walks over and kneels down so he can see Gavin eye to eye. The boy blinks up at him and then gives him a blinding smile. Ryan reaches out his hand and without hesitation Gavin takes it into his own.

~

Jack loves the necklace, and hugs both of them close, “My good boys.” She says and Ryan’s chest fills with warmth.

~

Gavin has just learned how to climb a tree when someone manages to sneak past his guardians. A loud shot rings through the forest. It doesn’t hit, but it scares the boy so much that falls from the branch he was perched on. They had all moved too slow and now their boy has a broken arm. The second Ryan reaches Gavin he throws himself over the younger boy, rears back, and fires into the trees where the bullet came from.

A body falls, limp and useless, to the floor. They don’t even bother finding out who he is, who he works for, because Gavin is more important.

At the hospital Gavin clings to Ryan, sniffling miserably at the doctor who sets his arm and places it in a cast. It was a clean break, she says, it’s a good thing they brought him as soon as the did.

“It’s Summer.” She assures the adults because all three of them are shaking like leaves, “Lots of kids get into things they shouldn’t. You aren’t the only ones who brought in an injured kid.”

She doesn’t know that someone managed to sneak past them, had known they were heading out into the woods for a picnic, had known exactly where to hide. Someone had known what they were doing.

Geoff manages to thank her. That night they pack up the house and Geoff uproots them to England. He hadn’t even asked Ryan if he wanted to go with them, had just told him to pack up his shit and be in the car in an hour.

Ryan was family now, he wasn’t going anywhere.

~

Gavin takes to England like a duck to water. He’s adapted to the lingo in a way his guardians haven’t quite figured out and he even has a strong Oxford accent.

He’s also now 14 and an absolute menace.

“It’s just a movie with my friends!”

“And I’m saying that you can go, but Ryan needs to go with you.”

And Gavin, honest to God, stomps his foot. Even in England, so far from the influence and notoriety Geoff had built for himself, Geoff is not someone to be messed with. The only one who can act so casually towards him is an annoying twig of a teenager who looks two seconds away from either crying or throwing a fist.

“I’m fourteen, Geoffrey! I can take care of myself!”

“You can barely lift the milk jug you asshole!”

Ryan thinks that now might be a good time to intervene. Usually Jack keeps the two of them in line, but she’s at the store and so it’s left to Ryan to be civil.

“Look.” He says, drawing attention to him, “Gav, you know that Geoff is right.”

“But-“

“And Geoff knows that you’re old enough to go to a movie by yourself.” He takes a deep breath, “So. We’re going to compromise. I will drop you off at the theater. None of your friends will see me, I promise, and I’ll go see something else at the same time. Does that sound fair to the two of you? I’ll be close enough if something goes wrong and Gavin still gets independence.”.

Neither of them are too happy with it, but they take it. Gavin comes home without a scratch and Geoff breathes a little easier.

~

Gavin grows up, he graduates from high school and no one knows who cries more Ryan or Geoff.

Shortly after Gavin’s 19th birthday they move back to Los Santos.

Ryan has changed, has finally grown into himself and cuts an intimidating figure. There are whispers in the street calling him Vagabond. The city learns to fear his black skull mask as much as they fear Geoff.

Gavin hates being useless and asks Jack to teach him to fly and Geoff how to drive. He asks Ryan to teach him to fight. Despite his sporadic methods, Gavin is actually a skilled pilot and Jack beams with pride, even though he’s a dunce with cars and hand to hand combat. His first experiment with throwing knives destroyed a lamp and Geoff has since banned him from trying it.

He’s on surer footing with long distance weapons, but he’s more talented with his words.

Gavin has been weaseling things out of them since he could talk, and for a while they all thought they gave in because it’s Gavin and despite it all he’s their kid and they love him. Except it works with complete strangers, with just a word or two Gavin is conning people for everything they’ve got: money, possessions, sympathy… You name it, he can take it.

Geoff tries him out as a front man for a negotiation with some up and comer who’s getting too close to Geoff’s territory. Gavin smirks his way through the meeting and he doesn’t just take what he wants, he talks until the other man is gladly giving everything they want to them on a silver tray.

Gavin is good, very good, and he’s a bit vain with that knowledge. It all goes fine, until he tries it on an older mob boss, one with more reach and influence, and the older man just laughs and pats Gavin on the head. They all bristle at that but he just smiles.

“You are good. But your eyes cannot lie.”

He takes to wearing sunglasses after that.

Slowly Gavin starts to change his look. His hair gets dyed blonde and styled with gel, he keeps his nails trimmed and buffed. He drapes himself in gold and wears button ups and skinny jeans to all his meetings. His smirk never falls.

And then one day it does.

~

Ryan’s been doing this for a long time, but getting shot still sucks. He hisses and drops to his knee, glaring through his mask at the assholes who have him surrounded.

“The mighty Vagabond. On his knees before me.”

“Oh fuck off and kill me already.”

The blow never comes. Blood sprays from the head honcho’s mouth and Ryan blinks, stunned, as he tumbles forward, an arrow stuck in his head.

What the fuck?

There’s chaos all around as, one by one, gang members drop like flies, each with a green shafted bolt in their heads. Gavin steps out from the shadows, glasses gleaming in the last as he flips his hair out of his eyes. In his arms is a crossbow, one he’d bought last week as a joke, and Ryan feels like his brain is running a marathon.

Gavin’s trademark smirk, the one that makes Los Santos gulp because they’re going to lose something and they can only hope it’s money and not something they actually care about, but now… Now Gavin is frowning as he drops the crossbow, uncaring of the clatter it makes, and he kicks a corpse out of his way as he crouches down to Ryan’s level.

“Are you okay?”

He’s never seen this Gavin before, the one who kills easily and so… Abruptly.

But then Gavin pushes up those sunglasses and he sees those hazel eyes looking at him the way he always has and Ryan’s heart melts. Gavin blinks once, twice, and then his mouth turns up into a blinding smile.

Gavin reaches out his hand and without hesitation Ryan takes it into his own.

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

37. Part 2

The meeting with Erin is going great but Fenty is playing up so I have to deal with her little panic attack, Erin didn’t mind waiting “sorry” I apologised, walking back into the dining room with Feny in my arm and a bottle in the other “awww it’s ok, oh my god. Look at her, she is so precious. Robyn, oh wow” Erin said, she is in shock cooing over Fenty “to see you on work and mommy mode it’s been an eventful day at the office you know, like I said this was and is a wellbeing to see where you feel with things, to see how we are because your mind, your mind works on overdrive, we have products to last us another two cycles, that is great but to hear the ideas already it’s good. But I don’t want to bombard you” sitting down with Fenty “aww you’re not at all, just to get that normality in my life. To get this work feeling back is great, being in London and just being in the home with nothing but my little family, I felt myself slipping and getting a little lazy. I gained weight, I just got comfortable so it’s fine” Erin is looking behind me “who is the little boy” Erin pointed, looking behind me “hey, what is wrong?” Aeko followed me in this room “Penny not there” he pointed behind him staring at Fenty as he made his way closer “this is” I dragged out not sure on what to say, but in my heart I know what to say. Aeko pushed the chair a little to sit down “it’s my step son” nodding my head in agreement to my answer “is he?” looking at Erin “yeah, he is staying with us for a while” Erin cooed out “hi there” she waved at him “Bobyn, Bobyn” Aeko patted my arm “yes” looking over at him as I uncapped Fenty’ bottle “where my dad gone? He gone” he is asking now “he is coming back, don’t worry about it” placing the bottle between Fenty’ lips “I feed her, please” he wants to take care of all of the time, he is such an angel “you can tonight, not now baby ok?” he nodded his head “say hi to Erin, she said hello” Erin is smiling at Aeko “hello” his sweet little voice.

I have been listening to Erin for the past twenty minutes or so, speaking on the new formula we about to put out with the foundation and I don’t think I have heard a single thing, first of all Fenty decided to play up and be sick right on the floor and then she cried and now she did the same thing “I got it” looking behind me “aww thank you baby, don’t step in it” taking the tissue from Aeko “who gave you this” I wonder who he is asking, or where he is getting it from “from moi, hey Erin girl. I was like why he wants paper towels again, what is happening” Jah walked into the room “Penny mess, look” Aeko pointed out “I can see that, shall I take her while you finish this off. She seems to be playing up, girl. This is your first meeting little miss Fenty and you are playing up” pushing the chair back “she has drank her milk but also was sick but she should be ok, just put her to sleep for me” passing Fenty to Jah “I will, come here you!” Jah gasped, he can deal with her dramatic self, making this mess for me. Crouching down “remember when I didn’t have this issue” I laughed to myself “we all go through that stage, welcome to motherhood. Wait till she is a toddler and is making the most noise and mess on top of that” I don’t think I am looking forward to that “you don’t want to go with Jah? You can help him with Fenty?” Aeko shook his head.

Aeko has literally taken over, he is sat on my lap now “I try please” Aeko asked Erin, laughing at him with his hand out “Bobyn try, I try” chuckling at him being dead serious “your dad won’t be impressed trying foundation on you know, I think this will be a little too dark for you but we can try it” grabbing the concealer bottle instead, turning his hand to put a little on the back of his hand “now we rub it in” slowly rubbing in the concealer with my finger instead “and there you are” smiling at him, letting his hand go as he stared at the back of his hand all confused “he seems so close to you, this is so sweet. How is married life for you? I mean when I read it, I wasn’t shocked, but I was so happy for you, I was like she has been waiting for so long for that moment. We have known each other for years and this is the moment for you” I cooed out “it’s challenging, it has its moments, but I love it. I love that I have my own family, I think it bothers others more then it bothers me with the face I am a step mother and it’s different for me but, I don’t care. The love these kids give it’s a feeling you can’t describe. Yes I am not their mother, but you can’t amount to the love they give off, I won’t blame the kids at all. But I am happy, but it has its moments” I shrugged “like every marriage, been married six years and I am still asking my husband to put the toiler seat down, some battles you will never win” I laughed out “oh my god, it’s like I am asking to do one thing for Fenty skin for me, it’s always yes I am doing it. It’s on this invisible list but he has time to hide in his games room” Erin laughed “men are terrible creatures, asking them to do a thing is like what is the point even. I did read that Chris is on the board, and I read for Fenty Beauty, I was thinking huh? Ok this is a misprint, but they got it wrong” nodding my head laughing “I saw that, even I got confused. I wouldn’t want him to touch this side at all” imagine that.

Erin’ meeting was productive, so to say. It took longer then it should have but that was because of Fenty “you not going to play today? You want to come with me?” Aeko is like my second shadow, something Chris should be here for, but I guess not “I help” smiling at him “that is ok, you can help. Shall we remove that makeup from your hand, my shit is waterproof” I winked at him and he got ever so shy “let’s go baby” I should have some remover downstairs “Robbie, where is Chris?” my mom asked “You know where he is, not here clearly” my mom is displeased a little, I know with the look on her face “Aeko, go and find Mel and say to her you want your shoes, we can go outside” he needs to do something “you wait here?” Aeko asked “you know I will be” he ran off “you are being so calm that Chris is not here, even for the nights. He should be here Robbie” my mom is right “because I am not going to make him stay here when he wants to be in that home mom, he wants to be there then let him. I said if I hear something stupid then he will hear it” I can’t just force him to be here “I like that little boy, I have no issues but he should be with his dad. He should be making the effort Robyn; he is left you like this. What if we weren’t here? Tell me this Robbie, I have no issues with him but with no father or mother here of his own he shouldn’t be here and leaving this on you, you are still anew mother and need that help. It’s wrong when you are trying your best in this, he should be helping you. This is his son too” nodding my head in agreement “mom, I understand. Trust me I do; he doesn’t bother me. He just wants the attention his fucked up parents don’t give, if his dad wants to use this time to play with his friends, so be it. He is a grown adult” I just don’t understand what my mom wants me to do

“Oh my god, Aeko. Look at this!” Jen my saviour has bought her sons to play with him, I am so happy because it saves me from going outside with him “say hi to auntie Riri!” I opened my arms as they both ran into me, crouching down to them “hi auntie, we missed you!!” Aaron said “I missed you too babies, aunties babies. And guess what?” hugging them close “mom said you had a baby” Aaron said “I did, I had a baby. I can’t wait for you to meet her but I want you to be both so kind, like you both are” moving back from them “this is Aeko” Aeko pouted his lips and put his head down “what is wrong Aeko” he doesn’t seem happy “awww my pumpkin pie, what is wrong?” Jen said “look, it’s Jen, they come to see you Aeko and play. They are nice” I think he is just shy “I got that” Justus pointed at Aeko’ PJ mask watch “see, he like PJ too. You will be ok” he needs to learn how to play with others “you going to shy him your things?” Aeko lifted his head “auntie, who is this?” Aaron asked, “this is Aeko, this is my step son” Aaron is inquisitive “how?” he is confused “because I married his dad, that is why. I want you to be extra nice to him ok?” I pray these boys so be nice to each other “I will auntie, come on let’s go outside” Aeko seems a little unconfident “it’s ok, they are nice” this boy is not feeling it “I will be with you, come on you!” Jen said, she won’t have no for an answer so she will take him.

Stifling out a yawn as my phone pinged in my lap, checking my phone and seeing it’s Chris, he really text me after this like I am not his wife. The phone unlocked, reading the text ‘How are you and the kids?’ that is nice, like honestly. I can’t even be bothered to text him back so I will call him instead, also his text was a little lacklustre for me, also late as hell. I am not going to be on his case, I will in no way shout either “hello” he answered fairly quick “am I not gummy bear anymore? Just hello?” I said, he laughed “yeah, just I know I text late so I was preparing for the backlash” he knows, he is not stupid “now why would I do that, not like you left me to fend for myself. Never that” I sarcastically said, I think I can hear music in the background, and I can bet a little money on them idiots being there with added females “I need to go, Fenty is crying. Ring me back in a half hour” I lied, disconnecting the call. I think I am going to pay him a visit instead, I mean that is my husbands home and I can do what the fuck I like, I trust him because if I didn’t then I wouldn’t let him stay there alone “Melissa!” I shouted getting up from the couch “Melissa Forde!” I shouted again, where is that woman “why are you shouting?” she came into the living room “we are going to Chris’ home, ready?” Mel laughed out “I am always ready but is there a reason for it? Please don’t tell me?” shaking my head “no, just a little curtsy call. Welfare check, mother can you watch Fenty for me and Aeko. We will be quick, promise” I will literally be back, he lives not far from here. It is literally ten minute drive which is convenient.

I laughed to myself, to think Chris wanted me to stay here. The gates are opened for the world to walk in, he doesn’t care when he’s with those bums and it annoys me because anything could happen to him “we fighting?” Mel asked as we got out of the car “not so much fighting it’s just a welfare visit, mind you I don’t know any codes for this home” closing the SUV door “no need, the garage doors open” Mel pointed out, I know that way. Chris took me this way when I was pregnant and I came to visit him, the baby shower was the cutest thing “can’t believe these bitches are alive still” his dogs are just staring at me in their cages “not barking today” I said walking into the garage “Rihanna” some guy said, I don’t know him. Looking over at him and proceeded to walk in, I do not like this at all. The whole set up is like come and rob me, it’s stupid and unsecure, he knows who he is and how people could just do anything to him. I remember that ugly ass voice, his big mouth just doing the most “Chris said no girls, and I mean technically she is dating you and she is a friend of a friend, that bought along another friend, and that friend, so on” he started laughing, turning the corner and seeing his ugly ass in my husbands kitchen “what do we owe the pleasure of you being here” Hood half shouted, there I girls here but I heard what he said “where is Chris?” I asked “outside, you want a drink?” he offered “if I wanted a drink in this home I would get it myself” walking off to find him, the home is deadly quiet now, nobody is speaking now that I have come which I think is good, they are shook.

I don’t expect much from Chris, he is of course painting some space of his home “gummy drop” he smiled climbing down to me, he is more happier in person then on the phone “I am not happy” I added “that doesn’t shock me, but why?” Chris placed his arms around me “your home is open, I just came into the home without any security, without a care. Why?” looking up at him “I did close it?” shaking my head “and there girls here” I added on top of that “I have been here, I asked them to leave. They were being disrespectful, they trying to say I am whipped by you and all that shit. Just got me angry, not happy so that happened. I uhm, just been doing this?” nodding my head “all night yeah?” he isn’t sleep clearly “perhaps, but I just wanted you to stay here and stuff, I am just being hard headed now but I miss you” he can be so hard headed at times “you’re annoying, just come back after you finished playing here. Tell them to go, you are better than them Chris. You really are, you are not on their level anymore Chris” Chris knows I am right “I am super happy to see you though” I grinned, I know he is.

[justjessame]

The Deal Chapter Four

GREENE FARM~THAT EVENING

The good news? No one was dead, yet. The better news, for my dad at least? That I was the same blood type as both him and Carl. The bad news? My little brother had been shot. A hunting accident if you can believe it. The poor hunter, a man named Otis, looked as though he wished it were him. And if you listened to Lori, she did.

I winced as the ‘nurse’ stabbed the needle into my vein. Shit, that burned. “It’ll take a few minutes, hon.” She offered, as the blood began flowing out of me. She was Otis’ wife, and I felt for both of them. No one wanted to hurt a child, not even by accident, especially now.

I nodded. “Thank you.” I said, sitting still as the blood came out of me at a steady flow. She looked surprised at my gratitude. “You’re trying to save my brother,” I offered a weak smile. “So thank you.” Hershel had walked to the outer room to speak with my parents. Dad looked like death, they’d taken so much of his blood already, so I was happy to give him a break. Carl was laying on the bed, so still and quiet, so unlike my little brother. I took his hand in mine, the one not connected to the needle. I felt his hand clutch at mine and I knew he felt me. “Carl, you’ve got to fight, but not the doctor.” I knew he had, I heard about it. “He needs to save you, do you hear me? I won’t let you go, baby brother.” I felt the tears fall from my eyes and heard the discussion of when the rest of our group would arrive, but it was like a static filled channel.

“I think you’ve given your limit,” the older farmer and doctor said, tugging the needle from my arm. I’d fallen asleep with my head on Carl’s sick bed, his hand still clutched in mine. “I think your daddy wants to speak to you, young lady.” His smile was kind and so were his eyes.

I nodded, and stood up, feeling dizzy almost immediately. “Thank you.” I offered weakly, as I felt someone’s arms help me out of the room. I looked up and groaned. Shane, of course. “That thank you was to the good doctor, not you.” I spat, letting him take me to Dad and Lori.

They had been given a room of their own, and Shane knew me well enough to not start something I didn’t want to hear. Especially since I now looked the same as Dad had when we’d arrived. In my parents’ room, there was a sandwich and glass of milk waiting for me. Dad moved forward to hug me to him. And then Lori’s arms joined his. I felt like a baby, like a toddler when I was scared of the sound of the storms outside and they’d had to comfort me.

“He’ll be alright, Jessi.” Dad whispered in my hair. “He will.” I was shaking, even I could feel how badly.

“And you’re helping so much, Jess.” Lori added, gripping me tighter. “The fact that you and Rick have the same blood type, that’s so helpful, honey.”

They pulled me to a chair and sat me down. Handing me the sandwich on a plate and the glass of milk they waited until some of my color returned. Once I felt a little steadier, I realized that Shane was still in the room. I sat down my dinner and asked about the elephant in the room.

“What’s going on?” I asked, seeing them share a look. “What’s wrong?”

Lori sighed and Dad looked like he’d rather be on the moon. “Carl is gonna need to be sedated, Jessi.” Dad said, looking like he was breaking apart slowly. “Hershel isn’t sure he’ll be still enough without it.”

I nodded showing that I understood. “He doesn’t have all the supplies he needs here. Someone has to go fetch them, if they’re even available anymore.” Lori said, managing only just to hold back tears.

Another nod from me. “Shane and Otis are gonna head out and try to get what Hershel tells them to, but we have to tell you that there’s a chance-”

I stopped that shit right there. “No.” I said, shaking my head. “There’s not a chance, Dad. It will work. Otis and Shane are going to find what he needs and Hershel will fix him.” I was glaring at my parents, daring them to contradict me. “You came back from the DEAD, Daddy. I won’t even pretend like Carl won’t do the same.” The thought that my baby brother wouldn’t make it? That couldn’t even be considered. It would be like losing Daryl. Or Dad. Or Lori even. Not imaginable.

Shane was nodding and I wanted to throw my sandwich and glass at him. Fuck you and just get it done, I thought. I knew why he was doing it. He wanted Lori’s gratitude and her hero worship back. Screw that, I didn’t care. He better take Otis and find whatever medical stuff that Hershel required to fix my baby brother, or else.

HOURS LATER~SHANE’S RETURN WITHOUT OTIS

While Shane and Otis were gone, Dad and Lori took my place at Carl’s bedside. They insisted that I get rest. Since I was blood bag B, and Dad was blood bag A I agreed. Sleep came, mostly because donating as much blood as physically possible without death was a great sleep aid. Good to know. I woke up to the sounds of Shane’s return. He was alone and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Otis wasn’t just dead, he was sacrificed.

Shane wouldn’t want to share the glow of triumph, nah that wasn’t his style. When he went to the bathroom to shower, I went to find my dad. He told me quietly what happened, then told me to be on standby, since our services might still be needed. He also warned me that no one had told Patricia, the nurse and Otis’ wife, since she was definitely needed.

When the surgery was over, my parents and I stepped into the room. My God, had Carl always been so small? His personality was always so big and full of energy that seeing him lying on the bed after his operation made my heart hurt. Dad took the chair I’d sat on earlier, and Lori pulled on to the foot of the bed. I stood between the two of them, while Dad tried to eat a sandwich. He told us stories about Shane and him as children, and I fought to stay composed. Luckily they were both so focused on Carl that I didn’t have to shield my facial expressions as much as normal.

Shane walked in a bit later, sporting a dead man’s clothes and new buzzcut. I eyed him suspiciously and felt vindicated by his careful avoidance of my gaze. Must suck, I thought, knowing that at least one person in the group could see straight through your bullshit. We maintained a family vigil, until Hershel insisted that Lori and Dad get some rest. I think he knew I was a lost cause and he shooed Shane out as well. I took Dad’s seat after he and Lori kissed me goodnight. Taking my baby brother’s hand in mine again, I sat at his side until he woke up.

“Jessi?” I heard his hoarse voice and saw the sunlight streaming through the lace curtains. I looked up from where my head had fallen in sleep on his bed, again. He was awake. Thank God.

“Hey, little brother.” I whispered, happy that I could see him awake. “Don’t move, kid.” He’d started to twist. “You were shot, Carl. So take a rest, would you?” He chuckled and held a hand to his bandage. “Do you hurt? Should I go get Hershel?”

“Who?” He asked, inquisitive little brother back again. “Is Dad here? Mom?”

I smiled, and ran my free hand through his damp hair. “Hershel is the doctor who saved you. Actually he’s a veterinarian.” I stopped and pretended to think about that. “I did always say you were a monkey, guess that’s proof.” He giggled and I went on to assure him. “Dad and your mom are here, soon everyone will be.” I smiled down at him as I stood. Dropping a kiss on his forehead, I offered to fetch Dad and Lori. His hand gripped mine for a moment, holding me still.

“Did they find Sofia?” He asked, so worried, and I knew he was because we’d all heard him calling her name.

I nodded, and turned away so he couldn’t see the guilt of the lie I was telling. “I”ll go get Dad and Lori, OK?” He released me and I rushed from the room.

I warned Dad and Lori of the lie I told. And I watched from the doorway as they went inside and saw for themselves that he was ok. Leaning on the frame, I watched my family interact, smiling at their ease of return to normal. Lori left to use give us some time alone and to check to see if the others had come yet. I laughed when my little brother said he and Dad were the same now that they’d both been shot.

“Yeah, I think your mother would rather hear we got the same eyes. So let’s keep that between us. Since you’re in the club now, you get to wear the hat. Didn’t you know? We’ll pad the rim tomorrow so it sits better.” They looked over to where I was still standing.

“Oh, I’m good.” I said, hands up. “I share your blood type, got the same color hair. That’s more than enough for me. I have enough holes without adding to the tally.” I came over to sit on the bed while they worked out Dad’s hat schedule.

“I love you two,” Dad said, holding Carl’s hand and reaching for mine. I gave it over willingly. “Y’all, and your mom,” he nodded at Carl, “are my world.”

“I love the two of you and Lori, too, Dad.” I answered, squeezing his hand. “Just do me a favor, you two?” They both looked at me. “No more gunshot wounds, please?” They rolled their eyes and chuckled. Standing I let them know I was going to check to see if everyone made their way to the farm. Dad stopped me before I could leave the room.

“Jessica, you don’t have to share a tent now.” The tone was clear, Dixon wasn’t needed for my comfort now.

“I know I don’t have to, Dad.” I said, turning to face him. “Maybe I just want to.” And on that note, I was gone. I loved the man, but I was an adult. And he’d have to come to terms with Daryl, sooner or later.

Later that day, Patricia requested that we put Otis’ memory to rest. Since we didn’t have a body, that seemed fair. I watched Shane’s obvious discomfort at being asked to relive Otis’ final moments, and make up what was clearly not the poor man’s last words. Oh, to pry open your rotten brain, I thought, and see for myself just what you did to that poor man. We all stacked rocks on a nice memorial pile, and then we began that difficult task of deciding whether or not to restart the search for Sofia.

Dad thinks we should, if only to put our minds to rest, a decision that Shane clearly disagrees with, since I see him trying to talk Dad out of it. I rolled my eyes as Maggie, the woman on the horse who found Lori and me and told the others how to find the farm, brought out a map to help the search. Daryl tried to talk me out of it, seeing how pale I still am, but I refused to listen. Sitting here and keeping Lori and Carl company doesn’t seem like much help.

Daryl was a little surprised when Dad sent the two of us off onto our own grid while he and Shane went to theirs. Walking through the forest, hearing Andrea bitching in her own grid, I asked Daryl the likelihood of Sofia surviving alone for this long in a walker-filled forest and swamp. He smirks at me and I hold out my hand to him. Taking it, we walk hand in hand, eyes on the ground for signs of her passing through. “People get lost, they survive.” He raises my hand to his lips and kisses it. “Happens all the time.”

“She’s twelve.” I hear Andrea offer, from the left of us. Great, an audience.

“Hell, I was younger than her and I got lost. Nine days in the woods, eating berries, and wiping my ass on poison oak.” He laughed, letting our hands fall from view, but keeping mine linked with his.

Andrea came closer, and I was about to snark at her about the grid, but felt the urge fall away. “They found you?” She was curious clearly.

The gruff chuckle that Daryl gave made my stomach flip. “My dad was off on a bender with some waitress. Merle was doin’ another stint in juvie. Didn’t even know I was gone. I made my way back though. Went straight into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. No worse for the wear. Except my ass itched somethin’ awful.”

Andrea laughed and I raised an eyebrow. Better than bitching, I thought. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, that is a terrible story.”

Daryl gave his own laugh and I joined in, it was pretty horrible. “Only difference is that Sofia has people lookin’ for her. I call that an advantage.”

I smiled up at him and squeezed his hand. Andrea drifted back to her grid, and I hoped that she hadn’t missed anything by coming over to ours. “She may have missed some signs,” I said quietly and he nodded.

“Yeah, but she stopped her complainin’.” He winked at me and I smiled.

THE NEXT DAY~GREENE FARM

Everyone is pissed because Hershel demanded that our group give over the weapons. I’m not sure why people don’t understand that it’s his land, his farm. He has the right to set the rules. I roll my eyes as Shane leads the vote of bitching and moaning about this newest issue. I see Daryl about to walk away, but rush up to join him.

“Want to come with me?” He asks, looking down at me from behind bangs that are starting to get unruly. I nod and he motions for me to come along.

Once we clear the treeline, I turn to him for a kiss. Searching for Sofia is important, I get that and so does he, but the lack of privacy in this damn place is killing me. He chuckles against my lips. I pull back and we continue along, looking for a new place to search.

The only thing we find is an abandoned house that looks like she might have been inside. Outside, Daryl is drawn to some pretty white flowers growing wild near the house. I stand beside him as he tells me the legend of the Cherokee Rose.

“It's a Cherokee Rose. The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the Trail of Tears, the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure and disease and starvation. A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope. The next day this rose started to grow where the mothers' tears fell.” His voice is low and gruff, and I listen in silence. Placing my hands on his shoulders, and rubbing away the tension growing in his muscles. “That’s the story anyhow.”

“It’s beautiful,” I whisper, leaning down and kissing his neck. “You should take her one.” He cuts one off from the group and I look around for a suitable vase. Picking up a discarded bottle I hand it to him. “Tell Carol the story, Daryl. Give her some hope.”

He stood up and cupped my cheek in his free hand. “You’re sweeter than the rest think, Jessi.” Leaning forward his lips brush mine. “And that full moon night is comin’, soon I hope.” His smile lights up my day brighter than the sun shines.

“Let’s head back, Romeo.” I wink at him and our arms link together. How did I end up so damn lucky at the end of civilization?

[dobrikburrito]

loved ones, d.d. & v.s.

words: 2.2k

requested by anonymous

Hi!! I love your writing sm you're amazing!!! Can I get a David fic where she's so nice and and always does stuff for all of them like the dishes when she doesn't have to or buys them presents so they all work together to do something nice for her

disclaimer: wholesome fluff.

⠀ 

One year ago

“Alright, Zane, I think that’s enough alcohol for tonight, baby.” You supported Zane having his arm around your shoulders. “Here, have this.”

Zane made a disgusted face. “What is that?”

“It’s just water, come on, take a sip.” You told him, but immediately rejected it.

Rolling your eyes, you took the cup away and then brought him the same cup again. “Ok fine, have it your way, here’s some vodka.”

And he happily drank all the liquid, which made you laugh and facepalm. “How is it?”

“That’s some tasty drink right there,” He nodded, approving the “vodka”.

“Aw, I’m glad you liked it.” You smiled, taking a paper towel and drying his sweaty forehead. His eyes were barely open and his body was trying to dance to the music, but ended up just moving oddly. “Hey, I have a fun idea. How about we eat some of these chips? I’m feeling reeeeeeally hungry.”

You brought a small packet of regular chips and gave him some to eat, which he obeyed like the good toddler he was.

After taking care of Zane for a couple of hours, he was sobering up and wasn’t going to pass out or have a ridiculous major hangover the next day.

“Thank you for helping me with him, (Y/N).” Heath softly smiled in appreciation.

“No problem, babe. Let me know how he wakes up tomorrow. I already gave him one Advil,” You informed your friend. Heath nodded and walked Zane to the car.

10 months ago

“Psst, hey. Dave, wake up.” You poked David while he was napping rolled into his comforter on the living room couch. He whined, you rolled your eyes. “Come on, you need to take your medicine.”

David mumbled something incomprehensible, but stood up a bit and took the pill and the bottle of water from you, barely opening his eyes. After swallowing it, he nodded in appreciation. “Thank you (Y/N),” Only to fall down on the couch again, sleeping.

Just recovering from a bad case of the flu, you spent part of your days at David’s making sure he was properly taking care of himself, which he usually wasn’t, hence the sickness. You cooked him some soup while he napped and cleaned the dishes for him. Jason came along an hour later to check up on him as well.

“Hey (Y/N), how’s David doing?” Jason approached you on the glass table by the kitchen and hugged you. “Uh, that smells good.”

“He’s been sleeping a lot, but I made sure he took his medicine and is properly eating actual food and not just Chipotle.” You hugged Jason back, stopping your own video editing for a while. “And I just made some soup, you’re more than welcome to join us.”

“David’s really lucky to have a friend like you around. Sometimes he’s just so reckless I want to punch him.” Jason looked at the blob that was David on the couch. “Actually, we’re all very lucky to have you around, you’re always taking care of us.”

“You’re cute, but I’m just being a friend, that’s all. We work so much that we forget that health is actually a real thing.” I laughed, shrugging.

“I’ll go wake him up to eat your soup then.” Jason kissed your head and you got up to pick up some plates.

8 months ago

Todd had his head resting on your lap, eyes closed, feeling your fingers running through his black strands of hair. Somehow he showed up at your door at 2:45 am, completely wasted, after drinking his feelings away because of another fight with Corinna. You were caught in the middle of this tornado since the moment they started to date, always listening to both sides, trying to reason with them and advising in what they should do.

You looked to the orange and pink sky through your living room window, it was probably around 6 am now. You’ve spent all these hours listening to a drunk Todd cry about how sad he was but couldn’t ever properly express his feelings to Corinna.

This time you chose to just listen and wear off the alcohol in his system, giving him water and all the protocol for him not to wake up a bigger mess. Your eyes shut for one second, giving that you were exhausted yourself.

Todd woke up after a couple of minutes and saw you there, taking care of him for the hundredth time again, only to sigh and get up to cook you breakfast.

6 months ago

You had scheduled to meet Kristen for a Saturday brunch, missing your time together. When you arrived, she was already there, Scotty sitting by her side. Instead of being mad, you just smiled watching them together from a far and seeing how much love they had. You reached them, hugged them tight and sat down, spending the next couple of hours talking about everything in your lives.

“Oh, shit, I almost forgot,” You shook your head, quickly slapping yourself in the forehead. “Here, I bought you this!” You smiled.

It was this lovely and big Buddha crystal figure with a lotus flower on the inside. It was written Kristen all over it. The look on her face was priceless and you clapped, excited.

“(Y/N), oh my God. This is amazing! I can’t take this, this looks super expensive.” Stunned by the figure, she didn’t even look at you, just kept admiring it.

“Oh please, yes you’re taking it. I saw this while I was looking for a new clock for my apartment and it was you all over it. I couldn’t not take it!” You smiled, sweetly. “And my channel is doing good, don’t worry about it!”

“What’s the occasion?” Scotty asked with a smile on his face, also appreciating how happy Kristen was.

“Can’t a girl give her best friend a random gift out of the blue just to see her cry?” You shrugged, being a little over dramatic for the joke.

“Oh my Gaaaaaaaah.” Kristen did a fake-cry and whine just to make you laugh.

4 months ago

“Jesus fucking Christ, what is the matter with you people?” You said, breathless. “Why do people do this to themselves willingly.”

Todd and Jeff stopped to laugh at you, a few feet down the hike from them. “Come on now, it’s not that bad.” Jeff joked, waving for you to reach them.

It was the beginning of the year and as much as Todd and Jeff were friends, they were still getting to know each other. You knew both of them, knowing that Todd and Jeff had just been through terrible break ups and could use each other’s help. So you managed to sneakily schedule the first hike they ever did together, using your bad habits as an excuse.

“Don’t look at me like that (Y/N), I’m not gonna carry you again.” Todd shook his head when I gave him my puppy eyes.

“God dammit,” You rolled your eyes and did a little power run to reach them. “Just go easy on me, why don’t ya?”

We kept walking together and a couple of miles in, Todd asked Jeff “So… How have you been since you broke up with Cierra?”

“Basically shit, man.” Jeff answered and they continued to talk about every aspect of their lives.

You smiled to yourself, mentally giving you a high five for your bromance cupid skills.

2 months ago

“Ooh, who’s that guy?” You scrolled through Corinna’s Instagram DMs while she was putting on make up before you both went out. I show her the profile picture for Tfue.

“Oh, it’s this streamer guy that I told you about, he’s nice.” Corinna took one look at it and went back to her make up.

Clearly, I clicked to go to his profile and started going through his pictures and videos. “Oh, he’s cute too. He’s very much your type.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” She chuckled while putting mascara on.

“You know exactly what I mean, don’t play dumb.” I laughed. “And he’s asking you out for next weekend! Why don’t you go out with him?”

“I don’t know (Y/N). I told you I needed to take some time after the whole Todd situation,” Corinna made some excuse.

“You did tell me that and you did take time, Cor. It’s been a few months now,” You knew how lonely she felt and you wanted for her to get back out there. “You’re not instantly going to get married to this guy or whatever other guy you go out with. But I think it’d be fun for you to see some new people, change weathers. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your anxiety rising lately. I know how you tic and you need to be social and have fun to destress.”

Corinna sighed and looked at me. “I hate how you know me so well,”

You shrugged. “I’m very proud of it, to be quite honest.” I made a proud face that made her smile. “C’mon, you have nothing to lose here.”

She gave you a quick smile which was enough for you to accept as a yes. “I’d love to hang out! When are you free? And send.”

“(Y/N)! Did you just message him?” Corinna was half shocked half amused.

“What? No.” You looked like a toddler who was just caught doing something bad.

“Oh my God, give me this.” Taking the phone out of your hand, she looked for his DM. “You’re the worst!”

“I think the words you’re looking for is absolutely unbelievably amazing.” You smiled. “Besides, I have a feeling you’ll be thanking me in the future, so… I do accept thank yous as louboutin shoes by the way.”

You walked out of her bathroom, leaving her chuckling.

Today

“Alright guys, here’s the deal. I just texted (Y/N) and she’s coming to my house.” David was sitting down by the living room with a bunch of the VS behind him. “She’s always taking care of everybody, so we decided to surprise her tonight.”

“Today is her half birthday. We decided to do this today so she wouldn’t suspect anything.” Corinna explained to the camera.

“When she arrived, I’m gonna blindfold her and walk her in,” David informed the viewers. “Then she’s gonna see all of this.”

Taking the camera, David got up from the ground and showed around his house, which was filled with all of the people who loved you and cared for you. The house was completely decorated with Cabaret, with performers and playful activities, which you absolutely adored.

“She’s gonna flip the fuck out,” Jason said to David’s camera. David laughed.

“50 bucks she starts crying,” David wagered.

“I’m on it!” Jeff shook David’s hands.

Once they saw your car parking in front of David’s house, he made his way out of the door, while Jason filmed everything from a hiding spot.

“Hey, thanks for coming!” David smiled at you and hugged you.

“Yeah, no problem. What’s up?” You didn’t even realize anything. Your hair was in a messy bun and you were wearing a clickbait hoodie and sweatpants. Every time one of your friends asked for you to come because they needed help, you never hesitated. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” David laughed, then showing you a black piece of cloth. “I’m really sorry but I have to blindfold you.”

“What?! David, no!” You whined and looked around, looking for the camera. “You don’t even have a camera, what? No! No wild animals! I still have nightmares because of the roaches and the scorpions.”

David laughed. “It’s none of that I promise, don’t you trust me?”

“No.” You blatantly said and the both of you laughed. “Fine, but if it’s something gross I’m going to kick you in the balls.”

“That’s oddly specific. Okay. Come on.” David said as you turned around and he blindfolded you.

Carefully, he helped you get inside the house, positioning you in the middle of the room. All cameras and phones were on you. “Okay, on 3 you can take the blindfold off. 1… 2… 3… go!”

The second that you took it off, everybody yelled “Happy Birthday!!” and popped a bunch of confetti sticks, shooting you with silly string, sour cream and bottled cheese.

“What the fuck?!?! It’s not even my birthday, David!!” You screamed, your eyes closed because there was so much silly string on your face. Everybody just laughed out loud and Corinna came to your rescue with baby wipes to help you regain your sight.

You looked around, seeing everybody and looking at the decoration. “You guys did this all for me? It really isn’t my birthday though, so I feel bad.” You were getting emotional.

“But it is your half birthday!” Natalie popped another confetti.

You did an “O” face. “Of course, I should’ve seen this coming.” You threw one hand up in the air, defeated. “I hate all of you,” You cleaned the tears from your eyes.

“God dammit,” Jeff paid David 50 bucks.

The party went on, you cleaned yourself and said hi to all of your friends, hugging everybody, taking pictures, having drinks and enjoying the night as the center of attention.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Off Day: Nine

“She doesn’t want to be your friend, move along.”

15-year-old Rebecca Barnes starts at the voice that makes this 21-year-old college guy turn from charming to angry in a few seconds. In the back of her mind, she’s grateful. She might have been “blessed” with the body of an older woman but really, all she’s trying to do is get a cup of good cider before she goes home to watch Descendants again. She still loves that movie. It makes her happy.

She half turns and sees you, letting out a sigh of relief. She wishes it were Nat. Because Nat is scary and you. You’re really cool. But Scary? Nah. 

“Who the fuck are you? The police?” the kid sneers, “It’s a free country she can talk to whoever she wants.”

“She doesn’t want to talk to you anymore,” you tell him, “Go strike out with someone your own age.”

Rebecca jumps backwards out of the way as the guy rushes at you, covering her mouth with her hands. “Oh god. He’s gonna kill her!” is the first thing that pops into her head. But somehow, the sound of his fist connecting with your face it’s what she hears. There’s a meaty pop and a very masculine bellow of pain and the kid is laying on the ground, writhing in agony and pissing on himself from the pain.

“Becky,” you say quietly, “The cops are gonna be here in a second. Do me a favor?”

“Yeah?” she says trying not to cry.

“Run down to the store. Tell my Aunt Judy I’ll be home late. Then call your brother. I probably won’t need bail but I probably will be late to meet him.”

Rebecca nods, wide-eyed and bolts out the door. You’re calm, standing against the wall as cops show up, hands at your sides. Waiting patiently. You hate cops. You hate dealing with them. It reminds you of some of the worst days of your life. But still, when the officer and the EMTs arrive on the scene you do your best to remain calm.

When a shy Rebecca walks back in and corroborates your story, quietly giving her age as 15, the cop looks at you with something like respect. 

He’s graying now but, you remember him. You’d imagine he remembers you. He’d run into you often enough. A drugs bust here or there. Your mom’s overdose, a week later showing up when Uncle Jack found you laying in a pool of your own blood on the bathroom floor. 

Things that no one can really forget.

Rebecca tucks herself against your side, seeking a familiar adult. Feeling scared but not scared enough to run off and leave you by yourself. She’s looking towards the door. She couldn’t get Bucky but she got Steve and that usually meant Bucky knew about 2 minutes later. When he strolled through the door, she bolted towards him and he hugged her hard, “You okay, squirt?” he asked, looking her over for visible injuries. 

“I’m okay,” she said nodding, still wide-eyed. 

Bucky waited while the police finished up with you, itching to kiss you stupid then ask you what the fuck you were thinking. Then thank you profusely from the bottom of his greasy little heart for looking after his baby sister. 

The cop finishes with you and the EMTs load the kid onto a stretcher to have his arm looked at, unable to figure out what exactly you’d done to it. It looks dislocated but that might not be all the damage. 

Bucky is across the floor and kissing you about two seconds after the Cop’s back is turned. He’s anxious, searching your face and asking “What the fuck?” softly in-between “Thank you.” and “I love you so much.” Rebecca is giggling and Bucky, realizing he has an audience kisses you one more time for good measure before kissing the tip of your nose.

“I thought I was gonna have to call Ma and tell her we were gonna bring you Christmas in jail,” he scolded, “Not like she wouldn’t have done it though.”

You shake your head, “They’re not gonna put me in jail. Not if he came at me first. But, the kid might try and press charges later.”

“That sounds like a problem for future you,” Becky says sipping her reclaimed cup of hot cider.

“I think you’re right,” you say smiling a little.

“How’d you even do that?” she asked.

“Do what?”

“That thing to his arm.”

“Leverage and repressed rage.”

“Oh- what?”

Bucky chuckled and tugged the end of her braid, “I should get you girls home,” he said.

“I’ve got to finish up in the shop,” you say stretching, “But you should definitely get Becky home. Before your mom has time to worry herself sick.”

“Good plan,” Bucky said kissing your cheek, “I’ll see you in a little while?”

“The hospice nurse or Aunt Judy will let you in,” you say nodding, strolling out of the coffee shop and back to the book store, jogging across the street to get out of the cold. 

“I like her,” Becky said, hopping up into the passenger seat of Bucky’s truck. “Ma does too,” she added.

“Yeah, and?” Bucky said, suspicious. 

“Are you gonna Marry her?” she asked, looking up at him innocently. She was 15 and god bless her, she still didn’t have a clue. 

“Maybe,” he said after a moment, starting his truck.

“Maybe?” she asked affronted, “Don’t you love her?”

“Becky,” he said trying to be patient, “it isn’t that simple.”

“Yes it is,” she protested, “You love someone, you marry them, you have babies.”

He sighed, “Yeah, but after Kaity dies it’ll be a little hard to marry her if she just up and leaves town.”

That makes her stop, “But doesn’t she love you?”

Bucky knew you did. You’d not said it but, you let him in. You talked to him. You let him help you. You weren’t vulnerable in front of people you didn’t love. You’d shown him that you loved him. There was no judgment when any of his old one night stands tried to get round two when you were out. There was no nagging, just a simple request and an occasional gentle reminder. Hell, you just beat a guy up for his little sister. You loved him, but not saying it was protection. One last little flimsy barrier in case he decided he didn’t want you anymore. 

“Yeah,” he said, “She does. But that doesn’t mean she’ll want to stay here for me.”

“That’s stupid,” Becky protested, “How could anyone want to leave.”

“Becky,” he said gently, “I know you’re too young to really remember any of this. But just trust me. Y/N has reasons to want to leave. She’s got a lot of bad memories here. Shit that would probably give you nightmares. Just...  don’t you worry your pretty little head about us okay?”

Becky frowns, pouting but doesn’t respond, turning to look out the window.

_________

Bucky sat on the couch, waiting for you and listening to Kaity and her dad in the other room. He and the Hospice nurse were trying to help her get clean pajamas on so she could come sit with the family and do a little Christmas Eve gathering before you went with Bucky to the Christmas Party that Nat was hosting at the clubhouse. He knew today was a bad day. They had her on a lot of painkillers and she was struggling. Struggling and grumpy and very clearly, she was dying. 

Bucky watched as you shrugged out of your coat and boots, heading to the bedroom and slipping in quietly, “I’m sorry I’m late, Cat- Cat,” you murmur, “C’mon. Let’s get you dressed okay? Then you can sleep for a little bit while Aunt Judy and I get dinner around.”

“I’m so tired, dolly,” she half sobbed.

“I know,” you answer, “But you’ll sleep better in some clean jammies.”

Bucky can’t look at Jack as he slips out, leaving Kaity in your loving hands. The big man has aged about 10 years in the last month and Bucky can’t fault the guy for fixing himself a drink, though he declines one himself, still keeping to his policy of not drinking when he’s with you. 

When you slip out after getting Kaity settled in, bucky stands up and pulls you against his chest, hugging you hard. He’s convinced you might be one of the bravest people he’s ever met. And even brave people need some calm in the storm. When you bury your face against him and breathe him in, he rubs your back slowly and kisses your head.

After a long moment, you let him go and pad towards the kitchen to start putting food out and getting things warmed up. Jack catches your hand and squeezes gently, “I’m glad you’re home for Christmas, Darlin’. It’s never right without you.”

You smile a little and head into the kitchen. You don’t say what you’re thinking. That it still isn’t right. That it’ll never be right again. That you wish you’d tried to die a little harder so you wouldn’t have to watch your family torn apart in slow motion. That in the back of your mind, this is all retribution for something you did. What if it really is your fault. If Kaity got cancer from like meth exposure. Something that she’d only have gotten from your house second hand. 

“Dolly?” Bucky finally asked in the quiet. Cat-Cat, he understood. It was a cutesey name. Probably the way you mispronounced Kaity as a toddler. 

Jack smiled a little and walked to the mantle, picking up a well-loved photo in a frame. Almost four-year-old Kaity holding a very, very, tiny baby. “Y/N’s parent’s lost custody of her the first time before she was even out of the hospital... So when it was time for her to come home, she came to us. We had space and Judy was still at home with Kaity all day so someone could care for her... She was so small that Kaity thought she was a baby doll. Didn’t think she was a real baby and asked me where her batteries went.” He sighed, “And so the name just kinda... stuck.”

Bucky looked at that picture and tried to reconcile it with the woman in the kitchen. He couldn’t. And he couldn’t imagine not loving you enough to be around for you. Jack put the photo back and sighed, “This is killing her,” he said quietly, “Watching Kaity suffer. It’s been awful on her mom and me, I’d give anything to trade places with my daughter. But. Son, when Kaity does pass, you watch that one like a hawk. We- I found her that first time.” He takes a deep breath and a sip of his drink, “We thought she was fine. She was so grown up. Handled everything so well. Went back to school. Was passing all her classes still... But god. If that didn’t scare the life out of me. I don’t, to this day, know what was going through her head going back to that house. I think. I know she thought no one would ever find her. It’s a miracle she’s still alive.” Jack is watching you work and shakes his head, “If we lose her too,” he said softly, “I don’t know what we’re gonna do.”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say and swallows hard, staring uselessly into the kitchen where Judy’s joined you. 

“Kaity left her the shop, and the house is hers according to the land trust,” Jack said quietly, “The shop... She can sell if she wants. I just. We want her to be happy.”

“Me too,” Bucky said quietly.

_______

At dinner, Kaity can’t be gotten out of bed. She’s just too tired to get up, so you sit with her, cuddled up next to her to watch Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer like you do every year. Bucky waits patiently,  helping himself to a little more to eat and trying not to think about how little he’s been able to get you to eat and how many times you’ve turned a little green just minutes after you’ve eaten and had to find a bathroom. Your plate is still mostly untouched, you nibbled a little between putting things on Bucky’s plate and fussing over the rest of your family, but there’s nothing missing hardly. 

When Kaity falls asleep as the credits roll, you tuck her in and slip out, hugging your aunt and Uncle, “I won’t be out late,” you tell them, “And don’t forget. I put extra blankets in the hall closet for you and the breakfast stuff in in the top shelf in the fridge.”

Judy chucks you under the chin, “You just get out of here for a while,” she said,  “Go have a little fun. Hell. Stay out all night if you want, we’ll see you in the morning for Christmas presents... go find some mistletoe to kiss that poor boy under.” She winks at you and you blush, shrugging into your coat.

“Whatever you do, just don’t get pregnant,” is all Jack had to say as he scrolled through channels looking for some sports to watch. 

Bucky chokes on his soda for a second and you giggle, making Jack chuckle and wink at him. He was a simple man. He had simple tastes. He liked fucking with people. 

___________

At the Bar, you and Bucky take your normal seats and you very politely order a Shirley Temple, with a smile. Nat rolls her eyes but hands it to you before handing Bucky another soda. “Merry Christmas,” Clint said kissing your cheek before kissing Bucky’s and getting swatted at. 

“Merry Christmas,” you tell him, watching him scuffle with Bucky. No one asked you about Kaity. No one needed to. Bucky had pleaded with them to just let you be about it tonight and that was all they needed to know.

You and Nat trade looks over the bar and she smiles, “Are you going to Winnie’s for Christmas tomorrow?” You nod, “Probably in the Evening,” you tell her, “It’s- it’s Kaity’s last Christmas so I kinda want to spend most of the day with her.”

Nat feels her stomach churn. There’s an eerie finality to hearing you say that outloud after pleading with doctors to help her for so long. Natasha nods and kisses your cheek. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs. You shake your head and wipe tears away, putting on a brave face. You don’t say anything else, but then, you don’t get a chance. 

The band Starts to play and Bucky pulls you into his lap, humming along, and holding you there, at least until they play a slow song and he can drag you giggling and protesting onto the floor. It’s a nice night. Nat coaxes you into a glass of wine and Bucky lets himself have one beer. You win a game of pool against Steve. You and Nat conspire to get Steve and Tony under some mistletoe. And by the time Bucky gets you into his truck again, you don’t want to go home.

“Can we go back to your place?” you ask quietly. 

Bucky nods and watches as you text your Aunt, telling her you’re fine just going to sleep at Bucky’s so you don’t wake Kaity coming in. 

He drives, holding your hand and helps you up the steps. “You okay, baby girl?” he asked softly. 

“I think so,” you murmur.

He helps you out of your coat and kisses your neck softly, “Think so?”

“Bucky?” you ask, your voice barely a whisper. 

“Yeah?”

“I- I just. I love you.” you blurt out.

“I love you too,” he said, kissing your nose, smiling softly, “I always have.”

You smile and kiss his jaw, “Then will you do something for me?���

“Anything, baby.”

“Make love to me?” Your cheeks are burning as you say it, but the wide soft eyes that look up at him make him melt. He cant’ do much else but nod and claim your lips in a tender kiss while he tried to find the words to say.

“Are you sure?” he asks softly, “We don’t have to.”

“Please?” you murmur.

Bucky can’t do anything else after that. You’re in his arms being carried to his bed. The closest soft surface he can find to lay you on before you have time to talk yourself out of it.

Tags: @lancsnerd @stevieang @blameitonthecauseway @thorfanficwriter @etherealwaifgoddess

[expression-in-its-essence]

The Goldfinch movie.

7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??

8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!

9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?

9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)

11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.

14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.

16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!

20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)

23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!

24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.

25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.

25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)

29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.

31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.

32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".

34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)

35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!

35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)

35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*

37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.

39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!

41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!

43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.

45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.

49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?

55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.

58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY

1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.

1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.

1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"

1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.

1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?

1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.

1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??

1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.

1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.

1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)

1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.

1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.

1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?

1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)

1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)

1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?

1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)

1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.

1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!

1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)

1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)

1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!

1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.

1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.

1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!

1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)

2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.

2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.

2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.

2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.

2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)

2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.

2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.

2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.

2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.

2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.

2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.

2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.

On the whole

The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.

I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.

Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.

Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.

Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.

Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.

All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #234

“don’t take care of me - be scared of me.”

Does it bother you when people beg? I mean, it depends on the consistency, intensity, and the subject. Do you ever eat cookie dough raw? I have, but salmonella will punish me some day. Are you one of those people who are always cold? I am the exact opposite. When was the last time you rode a rollercoaster? Pf, never. Don't want to. Do you like hot dogs? I hate the fact that I love them lol. Do you have any weird rings? I wouldn't consider any "weird," no. Have any bad addictions? Ugh, caffeine. Are you anything like your siblings? I am very, very different from my two immediate sisters. Ma says I'm extremely similar to Katie, my half-sister, though it's odd because we don't seem to agree on very much? I don't even think she likes me. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Literally not since like... February. It's not like anybody but family sees my legs anyway. It's just stupid societal expectations for a woman, and I've never been prone to obeying those to begin with. Do you like long bike rides? I used to LOVE riding my bike when I lived in the woods/by an almost-dead road, but I haven't that in... god, years. I don't even have that bike anymore. My knees would never, EVER survive riding one right now. Do you know someone who is blind? My sister is in one eye, but I can't remember which. Do you have a YouTube account? how else would I like every Mark video in existence and I wish I was kidding?????????????? How many cell phones have you had? No clue. Not many. Maybe like, four or so. When was the last time something bothered you? Yesterday 'cuz I was getting weird fuckin phone calls. Do you ever try free samples at the store? Sure, if they seem like something I'd like. Can you speak French or Spanish? No. What school year do you think will be/was the saddest? 8th. Anxiety and depression were getting bad, puberty was A Thing, confused about life in general and why all this sadness and fear was happening to me. Do you like boys with long hair? I mean this depends on the person, but in general, yes. I think I prefer it over shorter, in most cases. Have you ever had plum juice? No, but that sounds decent. If I can even remember what a plum tastes like... I loved them as a kid, haven't had one in like, years. Have you ever passed out? Once, almost twice not long after the first time. Was today someones birthday that you know? No. Have you drank any water today? A little bit. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? Holy shit. Probably not since we MOVED here in '17. Are you worried about anything right now? When aren't I at least a bit worried about something, really. Are you keeping anything from your best friends right now? No. Do you currently have any mosquito bites? Not currently. A- blood, hell yeah man. Do you have Twitter? Yes. Literally to like. um. one somebody's stuff. If you found out you were pregnant, who would you tell? God FUCKING forbid. Obviously my family. Sara. If it was from consensual sex, I'd tell friends eventually. If it was, uh, any other way, probably not EVEN some family because there are some that would probably never speak to me again if I got an abortion. Is your driveway stone or pavement? Stone. Have you ever caught something on fire? Yeah. Y'know, s'mores, sparklers, wood when making a bonfire or something. Regular stuff. How many people have you kissed in a car? One or two. Idr if Sara and I ever have. Do you and your best friend have an inside joke? "buzzfeed" Do you have a gym membership? Not anymore. How long was your last shower? Not even ten minutes. Get clean and get out. What is your favorite color fingernail polish? I think red tends to be the prettiest. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be of? Man, don't ask me this. I have a billion ideas. If I had the money for it though, I'd probably finally get this (Denialism) as a tat on my left upper arm next. It's like, my favorite drawing ever, and I've already gotten the artist's permission. What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? Sonic has had my heart lately. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? I just generally like vibrant and/or light blue eyes, but I really don't care about someone's eye color. What is your mom’s maiden name? Yeah, let's share that on the Internet. Would you rather receive balloons or flowers for valentine’s day? Flowers. Balloons are nothing but waste and wind up as litter anyway. Do you follow the crowd when it comes to trends or do your own thing? Do my own thing. Trends 'n shit don't matter to me; I don't care how "cool" or "uncool" something is. I like what I like. What is your worst bad habit? Assuming the worst of absolutely everything within .01 seconds. Do you believe in happily ever after? No. Things aren't always gonna be happy, sorry. What is your average phone bill? I don't know, Dad pays it. Which is better: chapstick or lip gloss? Chapstick. Have you ever been proposed to? No. Do you take certain medicine on a daily basis? A decent number. Have you ever seen two people together and you got sick to your stomach? I remember seeing a picture of Jason and his girlfriend after me once after they got together and I. Don't know how to describe that feeling. I think I felt more murderous than anything. Do you prefer laptops or desktop computers? Laptops for portability's sake. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? Looking back, the haircut I had before this one wasn't great. Only at some angles did it look good. I mean I don't regret it though, it's how I realized I think I'd like short hair. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalog? Never heard of them. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I love black eyeliner, but I don't have any favorite brands. I hate liquid, though. My hands aren't steady enough for that, and it's just messy. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Meh, not a big fan. Idk. Do you have any overdue library books right now? No. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you own plaid pants? No. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? Yeah, through all of middle school. What was your high school’s mascot? A firebird. Who were your best friends in high school? I had various ones. Excluding The Ex, there was Hannia, Alon, Megan, Maria, Girt... There was a few. Have you ever been to Chicago? Once, with Sara and her dad. At night. And the lights and cars and shops and towers and everything was too much for my rural ass. I'm not a city person, but because it was SO different and just incredible in scope and all, I still thought it was absolutely beautiful and so exciting. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. When my sister and I were little and shared a room though, I almost always had the top bunk. As I got older though, that inverted. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I THINK Aaron did once, but I can't remember for sure. Are you close with your cousins? No. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Not especially, but only because, like my cousins, I pretty much never see them. Are you close to your grandparents? All but one is dead, and that one is dying. Barely knew any, save for my remaining grandmother, and we've never gotten along well/agreed on much, but I mean, I still care for her. I also pretty much never saw her. Who betrayed your trust? Plenty of people. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Brianna. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I don't know. Probably play make-believe or go swimming. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Normal with butter and salt. Does your town have a big fountain in it? The next town over does. What is your town known for? "You mean Tennessee?" Don't think that's too much of a giveaway. What’s one way in which you’re still a child? I am very dependent on Mom. What’s one way in which you’re old? My knees are at least 107. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? gooooooood take me to get a tatTOOOOOOO What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Mom buying tickets to the Ozzy concert next year alksdjfalwe. I've been losing my fucking mind since the new single came out and album was announced. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I'm not a vengeful person at all, really. I tend to forgive. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English has always been a breeze, and usually science. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Just about anyone looks better with dyed hair to me. I just like colorful, interesting hair. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes. I was born dirty blonde. Do you own an American flag shirt? No. Do you own a British flag shirt? No. Do you have a seashell collection? No. We used to have a box of them, though. Do you have a rock collection? No. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just chill. Casually swim around aimlessly. Cacti or seashells? Hmmmm. I think seashells, but that's tough. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? MAN, this depends on the design. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? The only one I have that I consider the absolute *perfect* moment was at Ashley's gender reveal when she and her husband found out the baby is a girl. Her face especially is priceless. What color was your first car? N/A Was your first car used or new? N/A What was the last thing you said in complete caps? HAHAHA I sent Sara a fucking CURSED picture of Pennywise as a good morning text. Do you enjoy playing board games? Not really. Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek? I guess I was as a kid. I'm sure I wouldn't be now. Elephants can't really hide. :^) Do you live in an apartment or a house? A house. Is there a music artist that never ceases to amaze you? As far as truly *amaze* goes, probably Amy Lee. Her voice is just fucking incredible. What is your favorite term of endearment? Probably "love." Or "dear." I dunno. Do you like Twizzlers? NO. They're gross as hell. Do you sneak in candy/soda when you go to the movies? Yeup. Fuck those prices. What was the last song you had on repeat? I adore Ozzy's new "Under The Graveyard" beyond words and so have been binging it like mad since yesterday lmao. Where are your favorite pair of jeans from? I don't have jeans. Do you tap your foot when you listen to music? No. If I respond to it in any voluntary way, I'll most likely be tapping my hand with the beat. Will you get your hair cut anytime soon? I need to, yeah. I hate when my hair starts getting long enough to curl a tad upwards in the back. Are you uncoordinated? VERY. Have you ever listened to Jane’s Addiction? I know and enjoy "Jane Says" and "Been Caught Stealing." What’s the worst thing you’ve ever experienced? Heartbreak. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? I dunno, there's a lot. Do you write “Dear Diary” when you write in your diary? I don't have a diary. I don't think I ever did. What is your escape from your problems? Music, playing WoW, stuff like that. Just give me a distraction. Do you watch YouTube videos a lot? Literally every day throughout the day. It's at least background noise. Do you have an embarrassing period story? No, thankfully. Would your life be at risk if someone knew everything about you? No. Is your life at risk? I mean, more than like by disease, some psycho, an accident, shit like that, no? Do you feel safe in your hometown? No. Never did. I miss our house and the childhood memories, but that place was dangerous. Where do you dream of moving to? The mountains of NC. What fascinates you more: outer space or the bottom of the ocean? Space. Have you ever seen a UFO? I guess by the definition of "unidentified flying object," yes, but I think it was some sort of natural phenomenon with a star, not an alien. Maybe. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? Yeah. :') What is the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said to you? "i'Ll AlWaYs LoVe YoU, bRiTtAnY!" What’s the most amount of weight you’ve gained from a medication? LET'S. FUCKING. NOT. Do you name inanimate objects? No. What do you think the constellations mean? "Nothing? Just humanity reaching to ascribe some type of meaningfulness to the world around them." <<<< This, I like this. Did you like the venue your senior prom was held at? I mean it was at the local college's gym. Nothing special. Which spelling do you like best: Hayley, Hailey, or Haley? Hm, I think "Hailey." Which name is better: Hailey, Bailey, Kailey, or Shailey? Ummmmm I think "Kailey." Are you mad at someone? I'm always going to be mad to a degree. Do you feel like your life was stolen from you? I guess in a way by mental illness? Do you have a professional camera? Yeah. What would you change about your hair? Ugh, I want to COLOR it. I really want silver hair atm. When was the last time you changed your hairstyle? Last year. Do you like rose gold? I love it. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't... care? Oh wait, maybe green. Those normally have an apple kinda feel, right? Or do they all thaste the same? What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? I like s h o u l d e r b l a d e s. Have you ever made up/sang a song for someone you cared about? Only ever poems. Ever had a song sang about/for you? I mean, I've had like songs /dedicated/ to me, but never actually made for me specifically. What is your middle name? Marie. Like every other white girl known to man. What do you smell like? My house, I guess? Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? I don't believe so. Do you have freckles? Not on my face, but random ones on the rest of my body, yeah. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I seriously hate feet. That includes mine. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? uhhhhhhhhh Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shorty" instead of "girl"? Ugh no, thank Christ. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? No. What IS your most embarrassing moment? I've told it before but now I don't remember it??? What’s the last thing to make you scream? Like a small, quick one, I think a loud noise scared me. I've been extremely sensitive to those lately and idk why??? Do your parents knock before coming in, or just barge on in? My door's never really closed, but when it is, Mom doesn't. Dad does. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? BOY neither. Do you own any mini skirts? Bitch I wish I could wear mini skirts but I would blind people with my body rn. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? Nah. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Good question, idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? Yeah. Do you have a deep voice? It's definitely deep for a girl, but it's not like, manly. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? I guess the last time I was out for breakfast? Idr. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? A mailman/woman. No one else comes here unexpectedly. Has anyone ever licked your foot? UM NO Do you play games with boys/girls, like "hard to get"? I never did and never will. I'm definitely not easy, but I don't play games. Oh wait, unless we're already a serious couple and I'm sexually being a tease. Hobby. When’s the last time someone told you they were in love with you? Some time back. Is there a Sonic where you live? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, sausage... stuff like that. I'm WEAK for meat lovers pizza sobs heavily in wanna-be vegetarian Do you know anyone who lives in Newfoundland? No. How ‘bout Alberta? No. Anyone in Canada at all? Yeah, a friend's ex. She's cool. If you could trade houses with a friend, who would it be? I wouldn't damn anyone with this house, lol. I mean it's not bad, it just has its issues. Are you a good person to come to for advice? It depends on the subject we're talkin' here. Do you sleep naked? No. I'd feel so vulnerable. Favorite place you've been: Through the NC mountains. Which of your Facebook friends lives closest to you? UHHHHHHHHH how do I not know this?? When was the last time you cried? Idr, actually. Who took your profile pic? Where? What’s your favorite season? Autumn. What was the last book you read? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Fucking read it. Are you a good influence? This also depends on the area of focus. Does pineapple belong on pizza? NO. Sweet and savory do noooot mix in my world.

[shewolfofficial]

Vampire!Levi x Reader ~ Blood Lust Pt.2

Warning: Cursing, Mentions of blood

Summary: Continuation of Last one shot

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a few months since Levi had taken you, your parents had the police search all over the country for you but they didn’t find you. Not that you exactly cared, a lot of stuff happened over the few months in which Levi had taken you to your new home. You had made new friends, got to do whatever wanted, you had begun to date Levi and so far everything had been going well. The police had just assumed you were already dead and you couldn’t help but feel bad for your parents.

Walking into the living area wearing an AoT shirt and some shorts you were greeted by a grinning Hanji. ‘’Good morning Y/N~!’’ she said excitedly ‘’well, it’s 11pm so...’’ you couldn’t help but giggle as she patted your shoulder. Everyone was sitting around talking or doing their own thing in the living area. Levi was sitting reading a book, Armin, Eren and Mikasa were chatting about god-knows-what. Erwin was watching Sasha and Connie bicker like an old couple, Jean and Marco were in the corner cuddling and there you stood with a grinning Hanji. ‘’I’m surprised you’re still awake! I thought you would be asleep by now’’ she smiled unintentionally showing her fangs as you shrugged ‘’eh.. kinda hard to sleep when it sounds like there’s a party going on downstairs, plus I’m not that tired..’’ you mumble as she pouts playfully to you. ‘’Aweh don’t worry Y/N, have you heard from your parents?’’ she asked as the room fell silent ‘’the police think I’m dead, so do they so no I haven’t’’ you sigh slightly annoyed at the sympathetic looks your friends were given you. 

‘‘I’m going out for a bit, talk to you guys later’‘ you say turning around and heading upstairs to get ready. Soon enough you were finished changing, zipping up your jacket and tying your shoelaces you grabbed your phone and purse. Jogging down the staircase you went out of the large house and walked off to a nearby takeaway.

You had been at this takeaway for a while now and now you were paying whilst holding your food in a bag in your hand. Giving the lady the money she smiled at you before her eyes widened a little ‘’wait, are you that girl that went missing a few months ago?’’ she asked before peeping behind you at the poster about you on the glass behind you. ‘’It is you!’’ she exclaimed in shock as your breath hitch in your throat before she dashed for the phone in the back, quickly getting out of the takeaway you ran back to the house.

Swiftly opening the door you threw yourself in before slamming it shut behind you earning some concerned looks from the others. ‘’Oi what’s wrong?’’ Levi asked putting the book down and looking over the back of the sofa ‘’the cashier at the fucking takeaway recognized me, I think she told the police’’ you panted. ‘’Why don’t you want to go back to your home? Back to your parents?’’ Armin asked as you shook your head ‘’I was the only child they had, so it was pretty lonely since they always went out on dates and left me there, I’d rather stay here..’’ you reply as the blonde nods. ‘’Well what will we do now? They know you’re not dead so they’ll be looking for you again’’ Eren questioned, sighing you glanced back down to your steaming food. ‘’ Let’s just drop it for now, no need to worry about it until something does happen’’ you say walking through the living room towards the kitchen. 

Once you had gotten your food out to began to eat it in silence as the others went back to whatever they were doing. Sitting on a barstool at the kitchen island thinking about what would happen if your parents found out. Feeling a presence next to you-you turned to your side and saw Levi who sat next to you, chin against the palm of his hand as he propped his arm up looking at you. ‘’What’s up?’’ you asked raising an eyebrow to the male ‘’I want you to go back to your parents’’ he said which made you nearly choke on your food. ‘’Sorry WHAT!?’’ you screech as he rolls his eyes ‘’not forever dumbo, just go back and tell them to calm their worrying asses by telling them you moved in with a few friends and you’ll be living with them from now on’’ he states plainly as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. ‘’They’ll have my ass for not getting in contact with them for a few months!’’ you argue whilst stuffing your mouth with food. ‘’They’ll have to suck it up, so will you buttercup’’ Levi clicks his tongue before placing a kiss to your cheek and disappearing into the living room. 

// Time Skip \\

I stood outside my parent’s house, exhaling I ring the doorbell soon hearing a familiar ‘I’m coming!’ from my mother. The door opened a few seconds later and my mother’s jaw dropped before she pulled me into the house. ‘’Y/N WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?’’ she yelled making me flinch ‘’mom I thought you knew...’’ I lied trying to ease the situation, soon enough my father came running into the room. ‘’Y/N!? What were you thinking young lady!? You had us worried sick!’’ he exclaimed as I cleared my throat ‘’I moved in with a bunch of my friends, I thought you guys knew’’ you say forcing a smile as your mother scowls. ‘’Friends from school or some perverts from online!?’’ she demands as you frown ‘’mother, they’re not from online...’’ you say losing your patience. ‘’Is there a boy involved?’’ your father asks as you immediately blush a dark crimson ‘’w-what! n-no!’’ you say as your mother laughs. 

‘‘Oh so there is a boy! What’s he like Y/N?’‘ she asks as you roll your eyes. ‘‘Whatever.. I just came to say hi and make sure you two don’t send the cops after me again’‘ you say heading for the door. ‘‘Make sure to bring your boyfriend over for dinner sometime!’‘ your mother calls out making you shake your head in annoyance as you walked out.

Shortly arriving back at the house you walked into a quiet setting for once, considering it was daytime you assumed everyone was sleeping. Quietly walking up the stairs and through the hallway filled with silent snores from Hanji and Sasha I made my way into my shared room with Levi seeing him asleep on the bed I sat down on the end of it and went on my phone for a while.

‘At least my parents are chill with me being here, but I can’t get over my mom heh..’ you couldn’t help but snicker at the thought of your mother wanting to know about your love life. Checking the time it was now 9:47pm and everyone should be waking up soon. Hearing a small groan come from behind you-you peered over your shoulder to see Levi waking up. 

I chuckled lightly when he sat up rubbing his eyes like a little toddler before yawning. ‘‘Morning sleepy head’‘ I smile to him as his eyes shoot open towards me ‘‘since when were you there?’‘ he says in confusion ‘‘eh, don’t know anyways I went to my parents, they’re chill with me staying here plus my mother wants to see you sometime’‘ I casually say as Levi climbs towards me and rests his chin on my shoulder. ‘‘Why?’‘ he asked snuggling into my neck ‘‘because she knows we’re going out’‘ I add as he nods slightly.

I feel Levi nip my neck slightly as I glance to him in the corner of my eye. ‘’You hungry?’’ I ask, he hesitantly nods. ‘’Then feed you are you so shy?’’ I tease as he growls in return. ‘’I’m not shy dammit I just don’t want to hurt you’’ Levi tries to reason but I shake my head pulling down my shirt to him. ‘’Do it or else.. No cuddles for three months’’ I smirk seeing his face drop ‘’you evil thing’’ he purrs into my ear moving some H/C strands of hair out of the way. ‘’You know the deal, pinch me if you don’t feel so good and I’ll immediately stop’’ Levi reminds me as goosebumps appear on my skin from his breathe ghosting over my skin. Smirking Levi trails his tongue over my neck before he gently bites down, blood immediately seeps out from the two little puncture holes as Levi lets me lay into his chest as he starts taking my blood. 

Feeling my limbs slowly go limp I shudder as a wave of drowsiness goes through me. Using some of the energy that I still have I try to pinch Levi’s hand as it laid on my thigh, no response. ‘Fuck fuck fuck! He’s not letting go!’ I panic as I try to pinch him again, Levi’s still not letting me go. My face scrunches up in pain as I forcefull dig my nails into the back of his hand, almost immediately Levi pulls away gasping as blood trickles from the corners of his lips. Letting my body completely give in to the exhaustion I let myself fall forward onto to be stopped when Levi got a light grip on my arms and pulled me back up to him. ‘’Shit Y/N I’m fucking sorry! I didn’t feel the pinches’’ Levi panics as I lean into him. ‘’I’m gonna go to sleep now..I’m tired as shit’’ I say snuggling into his chest listening to his rapid heartbeat. ‘’You’re alright right?’’ he asks me as I nod before yawning ‘’I’m fine just don’t do that shit again, you scared me’’ I grumble to him as he wraps his arms around me. ‘’I didn’t mean to.. I’m sorry’’ he pouts as I snicker gazing up to him watching him lick away the blood on his lips ‘’you’re fine babe..’’ I mumble before losing consciousness.

// Time Skip \\

I wake up a few hours later to loud chatter downstairs, getting up I raise my fingers to my neck and feel little dips from where Levi bit, careful not to hurt myself I drop my hand to my side and walk downstairs to find out what’s happening.

Arriving at the bottom of the staircase I notice that Hanji had spilled a blood bag she was feeding on and now Levi was shouting at her for causing a mess. Yawning I watch the two as Connie perks up ‘’hey Y/N!’’ he says happily sitting beside Sasha feeding on his own blood bag. Connie immediately caught Levi’s attention and he snapped his head towards my direction ‘’hey Connie how’s the blood going?’’ I groggily ask. ‘’It’s going good’’ he replies as I nod to him. ‘’Y/N you’re supposed to be resting!’’ Levi says walking towards me ‘’no I’m fine Levi calm down’’ I say as he scowls. ‘’No you’re not fine! Go upstairs and get back you’re energy I’ll get you a take-away or something just go get some rest’’ he argues as I shake my head. ‘’What happened?’’ Erwin questions us, Levi clicks his tongue crossing his arms ‘’nothi-’’ ‘’he took a little too much blood from me when he woke up but it’s alright’’ I cut him off as he glares at me. 

‘‘Bed now.’‘ Levi orders, rolling my eyes I walk into the kitchen ignoring him, too busy on getting something to eat. I hear him stubbornly follow me in ‘‘Y/N’‘ he groans as I hum letting him know I’m listening. ‘‘Why are you so fucking stubborn woman do you not care about your health or what?’‘ he says leaning against the counter, raising an eyebrow ‘‘yes, I do but you’re just overreacting I’m not dead Levi so chill I’m fine’‘ I turn around to face him only to notice him right behind me. ‘‘I don’t want you getting hurt or even worse...’‘ he mutters as I offer a smile. ‘‘I’m fine don’t you worry, the only thing you should worry about is the load of dust I found under the bed’‘ I joked as he smiled lightly placing his hands on my hips. ‘‘Now.. how about I get something to eat then we cuddle and re-watch Attack on Titan, I’m dying to see that guy that has the same name as you and looks like you’‘ I teased as he frowned ‘‘leaving me for a fictional character are you?’‘ he snickered making me laugh, leaning up into his ear I whisper ‘‘could be a threesome, who knows?’‘ I smirk at him biting his lip.

Leaning up to him I peck him on the lips before gently pushing him off. ‘’Now shoo up to the bedroom, I’m going to get something to eat and if you’re not up there then we’re not watching AoT’’ I giggle as Levi rolls his eyes walking out of the kitchen. ‘’Yes ma’am’’ he called back to me.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Hiking through the forest, Eren was long past regretting listening to Levi. He was done. Neither of them knew the way out, every dip and turn looked the same, and when Eren had suggested he fly them out, Levi had told him to save his magic due to the fact they didn't know how people would feel about a dragon randomly landing in their village. He really didn't care anymore. If Hannes could survive flying around the place for two decades, he was sure he and Levi could survive a quick 5 minute flight out of the trouble they'd gotten themselves into. Hell. He could fly them right back to Eldia, but nooooo. They had to wait for Erwin's stupid letter. God. He was so done. He wanted a real bed, and he wanted to cuddle up with Hannes's egg, which was protectively hidden beneath his shirt and cloak they'd taken from Hannes house. He'd felt like a thief going through the dragon's things. It didn't matter if it was "what he would have wanted", as Levi had said. He'd only been in the ground an hour and there they were, rummaging through his house and taking his things. That was days ago. Eren couldn't actually say how many days ago it was, because he kind of felt like he was sleep walking as he followed Levi. Levi might be used to running around with his soldiers doing... princely things, or whatever. He went off on hunts and stuff so he was much more used to prolonged physical activity. Eren wasn't saying he wanted to be pampered, but he had magic. He could literally fly them out. Not stumble stupidly around for hours completely lost. Coming to a stop, Levi turned back to him. The alpha hair, and flushed face was a sexy mess that made it really hard to stay mad at him "You're walking too slow" Nope. Just like that, Levi broke the moment. He was mad all over again. Readjusting the bag slung over his shoulder, he wasn't sure if Levi knew how uncomfortable carrying a sword around on ones back was. Despite having been wrapped up in a blanket, it kept poking into his back with every step "No. You're walking too fucking fast. Why can't you just admit we're lost and let me fly us out" "Because we're not lost. We've been following the sun" "What sun?! It's literally forest, forest, and more fucking forest. At this rate, I don't ever want to see another tree or herb again in the rest of my life, which isn't going to be all that long given the fact we're fucking lost!" Levi raised an eyebrow at his outburst, before raising his left hand to card his fingers through his hair and push back his sweaty fringe "Everything ok, over there?" "No. It's not ok. I'm sick of walking. I'm tired, hungry and cold. You might be all manly and used to roughing it, but I was sent off to live in a sanctuary and be all soft and omegary. I have magic, Levi. I can fly us out of here, but nooooo. You insist on this walking business and then you get shitty that I can't keep up with you. Newsflash, I'm only part dragon, I'm even larger part human omega. Omega's aren't made for much other than laying on their backs, no matter how much I wish otherwise" Sighing deeply, Levi nodded "Fine. We'll rest here tonight" Here? There was a whole lot of nothing around them. It'd been ages since they'd passed any plants Eren had recognised as safe to eat. He might have had seeds with him, but he didn't want to sleep in the forest again "No. We'll keep fucking walking. Just slow down. The egg and the sword are heavy, you know" "I can take the egg" "No! I mean... it's fine where it is. Let's just go" The egg was currently his only source of comfort. He wasn't about to part with it, or let it out of his sight. Glaring at Levi, the omega stalked past him, praying it wouldn't be long before they found a way out. It was a whole day before they found their way out of the forest and onto a road. Actually, they weren't so much out of the forest, as in they were out of that side of the forest. Levi had been quiet since he'd snapped at him, so when the alpha decided they were heading taking the road in what he guess to be a northern direction, Eren kept his mouth shut and started to trudge along behind him. Both directions looked the same. Both growing darker and gloomier the further on they stretched, yet he didn't want to pick another fight with his fiancé just because he was unhappy. * Levi knew he was in the shit with Eren. Eren had barely muttered two words to him since he'd snapped, but he was hoping the omega would drop the mood now that they'd finally reached a town. If the road hadn't lead to a town, Eren probably would have murdered him on the spot. His fiancé didn't seem to understand that he was worried how dragon's would be taken given Hannes had said the country had moved past the age of magic, and Hannes was the kind of man who was impossible to hate... once you got past the initial introductions. Hannes also had another advantage that Eren didn't, the man's scales blended in with his tanned skin, unlike Eren's demonic looking black scales. Lost in staring at the architecture of the village, Levi had to chase after Eren to pull him back to his side when the omega daydreamed his way over to a sad looking fountain "Wha..." "Stay close to me" "I was" Eren pouted, not acknowledging that he really wasn't. It was like the omega hadn't even noticed the looks they'd received when they'd entered what seemed to be the main town square. All it's taken was look at the pair of them for whispers to erupt around them, while mothers ushered their children away. As far as Levi was concerned they looked far less suspicious out in the sunshine of the overcast day, than they had walking along the dark road. Starting to wander again, Levi looped his arm around Eren's waist half wishing Eren still had that ridiculous collar around his neck so he could tie some rope to it and keep the omega still "Is it just me, or is everyone looking at us?" Rolling his eyes, Levi let out a deep breath. How could Eren be so amazingly attentive, yet so fucking dense at the same time "Because they are. That's why I don't want you wandering off too far" "I wasn't wandering" "You were. You were halfway off towards that fountain before I knew what was happening" "I'm thirsty" Instead of rolling his eyes, this time Levi closed them briefly then shook his head "You can't just go drinking strange water" "Why not? I can't smell anything bad in it?" "Because everyone is literally staring at us right now. I don't think rushing over and guzzling down their water is going to go over well" "I can always make it rain" God give him strength "No. Keep your hood up, your face down and don't let go of your bag" "No. I was just gonna, you know, throw my bad down, strip naked and attempt juggling with the egg" "You don't need to be a sarcastic little shit" "And you don't need to treat me like I'm a toddler" "Then don't wander off" Eren huffed and kicked the dirt covered cobblestones. Not a toddler... riiiight "Look. Who do you think is most likely to talk to us?" "I think if we went over to the game seller, they are going to think we're psychopaths" "I kind of am" "But you're the good kind of psychopath" Eren only though that because he had no idea about the dreams Levi had been having in the forest. All of which seemed to be him killing Hannes. He didn't know if it was because some part of him felt guilty and that he should have done more to prevent the man's death, or if he actually had done it and was now being haunted by the man "There's a man selling wine over there, maybe we should try him?" Levi couldn't even see the vender that Eren was talking about, so kept his arm around omega as he let Eren lead "So why the wine vendor?" "If this is the village Hannes came to during my heat, they might know who he is" "Hannes died" "I am well aware of that fact. What I mean is, they might be a little less suspicious of us if they know we knew him" "The way he talked to begin with, he made it sound like he'd never left the forest" Eren nodded "Yeah. I was kind of surprised he came to town, given what humans had done to his mate and clutch. But I suppose being out there as long as he was, he must have got lonely from time to time" "I don't know how he did it. I'm not that keen on people, but to be alone for so long and to remain sane..." Levi let his sentence taper off, while Eren gave a light snort "I don't know if I'd call him sane. His words of wisdom always seemed to get muddled up when he drank" "Eren, he was drinking the whole time we were there" "Exactly" Reaching the wine vendor, the man jumped down off the barrel he'd been seated on. With short grey fuzz for hair, and a unkept moustache that was a good foot long, Levi kept his doubts about the man to himself. The amount of food and skin that would be trapped in there... it was revolting to think about. Opening his mouth, the man's words were heavily a accented "You're not from around here" It was clearly a statement, not a question. Eren being the "people person" that he was, nodded "No. No, we're not. We were in the area visiting a friend, and now we've set out to make our way home. My friend and I were hoping you could point us in the direction of the nearest inn?" Crossing his arms, the stocky stranger spread his legs to a shoulder widths apart. If he was hoping to intimate them, he was failing miserably "Don't remember seeing you pass through here before. Who's this friend?" The man clearly thought Eren was lying. Levi ready to deck the arsehole if he didn't start treating Eren with respect "We took a slightly different route the first time. We were staying with Hannes. Given his passion for alcohol, I thought perhaps you might know him?" "And how do you know Hannes? Man's been here for 20 years, and you're just a scrap of a lad" "We're relayed... He recently passed away, so we came to spend time with him before he did" Eren's narrative smoothly slid from his tongue, Levi watching as a shocked look came over the stranger's face "He passed away?" "Unfortunately. He was a good man, he didn't deserve to pass the way he did" "When was this? He was here only a few weeks ago" "He came to pick up fresh seeds and new clothes for me. He passed around four days ago. I'm embarrassed to admit that I took more than one wrong turn trying to cross the woods" Muttering and mumbling under his breath, the man moved his thumb to his mouth to chew on his nail as he did. A few long moments passed like this, before the stranger straightened himself back up "I can't believe it, you know. He was a bit weird, but never hurt a fly" "He was a great man. Can you help us find an inn?" "Old Shirley runs an inn, just across the square here. That green building over there. Don't know that she's got any rooms for stranger, but she might for a friend of Hannes" Turning to look around the square, Levi could have smacked the merchant. He counted 6 green buildings at just a glance "I'm sorry, but would you mind showing us? As you pointed out, we aren't from around here and we do not wish to offend anyone with our presence" "Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Beats sitting around here waiting for a sale. It's about time for a drink or two" Was that the thing here? Everyone just drank? Their village looked as boring as shit on a wall, so there was little wonder they did. "Old Shirley's" inn was actually a whorehouse. Levi reminded of how innocent Eren was by the bright blush across his cheeks when he noticed more than a few women were topless. The blush only grew when the omega noticed a whore and her partner were going for it in a room off the main bar area. It definitely wasn't the kind of place he wanted Eren in, or the kind of place he could expect any form of cleanliness. Yet, as far as he knew, there wasn't any other option. Led across to the bar, the wine merchant slid himself up onto a stool "Shirl, my love. You grow more radiant each time I look at you" "And your hair line recedes that much further each time I see you. Who are these?" The woman's heavy accent was worse than the merchants "Friends of Hanne's. Came to see him before he bit the dust" "So he's finally dead. Always told him the drink would get him. It was the drink, wasn't it? I can't say I'm surprised. Still, good man, if not a little weird" Shirley sighed heavily, Eren shifted uncomfortably and Levi wisely kept his mouth shut "What's wrong with the pair of you. Deaf and dumb? Cat got your tongue?" Eren shook his head quickly "No. Sorry. I was just thinking about Hannes. He really did love his hops" "That he did. Did me a favour a few years back when we were having trouble with deliveries up here. Now, what'll it be" "They're looking for a room, and Shirl, we know you've got the best rooms in town" Busying herself at the counter, Shirley poured out a pint for the merchant "Off with you Gerald. But don't go messing with my girls" "Shirl, you're a god send" Lifting the pint, Gerald raised his glass towards Shirley before leaving to follow a particularly well endowed brunette who'd just come downstairs. "Alright. I don't bite. You say you're needed a room. How long?" "My friend and I aren't sure yet. We're waiting for a letter from home, so possibly a few days, even up to a week" "It's 50pieces for a room, per night" Pieces of what? Gold? Silver? People? "We don't have money on us..." "Then I'm afraid I can't help you. Friend of Hannes or not, I'll be losing money by renting you a room" "Um... would you accept scale?" The woman's eyes widened "You've got scale?" Eren looked to Levi, who realised he needed to produce said scale. Sliding his hand into his pants pocket, he felt around for the smallest scale he could find before producing it. Immediately the woman's eyes lit up "That'll do nicely. One week, one bed room with meals and fresh water" For a country who'd given up on magic, she sure as hell was eager to accept the dragon scale as payment "Do you have baths?" "That'll cost you extra, that will" Eren deflated slightly, but nodded. As far Levi was concerned the scale should have more than paid for the room and for a bath or 7 "I understand. Do you mind if we head up to our room now? My companion and I took the long way venturing out of the forest, and find ourselves in need of rest" Shirley looked at Eren like such a thing had never been said before "You head up them stairs there, then third door on the left. We've got some lovely lamb's head stew on the stove, I'll bring you up a bowl when I get the chance" Lama head stew really didn't sound inviting. Eren's smile faltered at the sound of it "Thank you" The moment they made it to up to their room, Eren was stripping. Dropping his backpack on Levi's toes, he was already struggling his way out of the sling that secured Hannes egg, before Levi had the chance to move the bag out the road, and close the door... which didn't fucking lock. Placing the egg down on the bed, Eren flopped down belly first beside with his arse in the air. Walking over to the omega, Levi slapping Eren's arse firmly as he enjoyed the view. The omega yelping, before shooting Levi a glare over his shoulder "Levi... what was that for?" "You asked for it. The bed might be filthy, but you could at least take your boots off" Eren whined, arching his back and sticking his butt up as he stood back up "I don't think I can. I think they've become one with my feet" "Sit down. They're probably going to fucking stink" "My feet feel mushy... are you sure I can't just go to sleep?" "I'm sure" Flopping on his back this time, Eren groaned as his body hit the bed "Can I sleep now?" "I haven't taken your boots off yet" "I'll let you take my boots and my pants off, if you just let me sleep" Levi snorted "I'll remember that, but we're both fucking filthy. How about magicking up some hot water?" "Shirley was a bitch..." Levi couldn't deny that. She seemed more interest in the gossip of Hannes's death, rather than the death of the man himself "She could have at least throw in the baths. How much does a scale go for back home?" Eren hummed "I don't know. Relics and that are banned remember, so the prices go right up. Maybe... 1000 gold coins? Depends on size and condition..." Once upon a time a thousand gold coins would have been a dream. Now he found himself not actually surprised over the amount "So she overcharged us?" "She way over charged us. And lamb's head stew. I want to puke just thinking about it" Taking Eren's left leg into his hold, he started on the laces "You brought seeds didn't you? You can use a little of your magic. I'd rather you did that than stopped eating" "Where was this magic positivity when we were in the forest. I could summoned us a shower... some berries... a giant dragon to get us the fuck out of there" Getting Eren's boot free, he let the omega's leg drop as he sighed "I didn't want you wasting your magic. But if she's going to be a bitch, she can deal with the consequences" "It's not a waste. You're a waste" "I'm a waste?" "Not really, I'm too tired to have this argument. Can't do the brain" "Even though I told you you could shower?" "Mmmm..." "You're not sleeping until we're both clean. My skin feels fucking revolting" "I have one word for you. Magic" He wasn't going to hear the end of this anytime soon... No one could hold a grudge quite like a shitty omega. Eren was lucky that even in a shitty mood, he was the most beautiful creature ever created. * Showered, sexed and fed, Eren was curled up against Levi. The bed wasn't great, and though exhausted the omega couldn't sleep. His mind wasn't particularly busy. His arse was throbbing with satisfaction, with Levi still buried inside. His skin didn't feel like it was covered in sweat and dust, yet, for some stupid reason, he was wide awake. Yawning, Levi mumbled as he pulled him tighter "I can hear you. Go to sleep" "I didn't even say anything" "Still can hear you" "I'm sorry" "Nah, means I haven't done my job right" Rolling him so his chest was against the bed, Levi nipped at his scaled back "I thought you were sleeping" "Sleepy and horny" Levi horny? No fucking way... since when did that happen? Hooking his legs around Levi's, he pushed his arse back. Maybe the alpha was right? Maybe he just needed another orgasm so he'd pass out blissed? He was far too tired to know much of anything as Levi started to ride him into the mattress. All he wanted was to go home, back to his tower... but now they were stuck at the shitty inn, as Levi would call it, surrounded by the sounds of people fucking... Somehow they wound up going at it like rabbits, before falling asleep as the morning sun crept through the window. Even with Levi's "condition", it felt warm and affectionate as he alpha all but worshipped his body. Kissing him from top to bottom as he sucked small possessive marks across Eren's flesh, all the while telling him he was beautiful. How could he not fall apart under such praise? And with all the love and affection being showered on him, Levi might have earned enough forgiveness for Eren not to mention the torture of the forest... for at least the next 48 hours. Making sure the door to the room was blocked with a chair, Eren felt safe enough to sleep as he pulled Hannes's egg up to his chest and curled around it. Nearly purring, but not quite. He hadn't realised last night that that was the reason he couldn't sleep. Because even with Levi there, he just didn't feel safe. In the middle of the night, the floor had creaked and a door had slammed. Levi had shot up out of bed, stuck the chair in place, then rejoined him under the covers like he hadn't pulled out when Eren was on the edge of orgasm. His fiancé was lucky that he was pathetically and hopelessly in love with him. Eren's dreams were filled with death and destruction, and not worth the effort it had taken to fallen asleep. Woken from his dreams by his fiancé, Levi was now staring down at him with a thin frown upon his lips, Hannes's egg no longer in his hold "Eren?" "'m ok. Nightmare" "It's time you get up anyway. I don't like this place" Propping himself up, Eren double checked the egg was still on the bed before looking to Levi "What happened?" "Nothing. Yet. I think someone tried the door" Eren groaned. How long had Levi been awake? He couldn't deal with the man's paranoia when he still needed another 6 hours sleep to feel vaguely human again "It's a whorehouse. They could have had the wrong room" "Or they could have been after our things..." "Levi... just come here and cuddle me. If something did happen, you're here and I'm here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, or the egg" "I'm the alpha" Dropping back against the bed, Eren held his arms open for Levi to climb into his hold "I know. You're big and brave, but these are humans" Levi huffed, still tense as he sank into Eren's hold "They're barely humans. Seriously, what was Hannes doing in a place like this?" "Well. Some men like men, and some men like women... this is a place that sells beer and women" "I know that" "I don't think Hannes was here for the women, he loved his mate too deeply for that. But you know, sometimes when you're feeling down it's nice to feel special every once in a while" "Is that a hint?" Eren kissed Levi's soft black hair. He loved the alpha's hair. He missed the short undercut he used to sport, but these longer locks were nice too... "No. No. Last night made up for all the shit moods over the last few days" "You were a shit" Eren bit down his snarky retort. Why did Levi insist on heavy conversations when he was coming out of nightmares "Probably. I'm not used to hiking around the forest being lost. I'm not as fit as you, and I'm not made to walking for days" "I think you're overreacting" "Levi. Lungs. You didn't even stop to make sure I could breathe. And I don't want to fight. I already decided that was in the past. Last night felt really fucking good, but you need to be less paranoid, and Erwin needs to send that letter already. I don't like not knowing what's going on. Armin, Mikasa, Moblit, Hanji, Erwin... our friends could be dead already" "Don't write Erwin off that easily. He lost an arm and he was still an insufferable arse. Knowing him, he's already planning to charge into battle. Besides, I don't want you thinking about another alpha while you're in bed with me" "You get so stupidly jealous over the smallest things. I've got your mark on the only bit of nape markable. I've got your engagement ring on my finger, and you're my rider. We literally cannot be more intertwined if we tried" "I don't know about that" "No. You already went at it like you were in a rut last night..." "I can't help it. When I look at you, I want devour you completely. I want to tear your eyes out so you'll never look at anyone but me" Eren frowned, his fiancé sounded far too serious "Levi. That's going too far" "Why?" "You're not supposed to wish bodily harm on your mate" "I don't wish bodily harm on you. I love this body of yours. I wish bodily harm on anyone who would dare to touch you" Sliding his hand down Eren's stomach, Eren was quick to pull Levi's hand back up to his chest "You really don't need to. How much sleep did you get?" "I slept" "Levi" "Eren" "How much sleep did you get?" "Some" "You're impossible. We're fine here, so get some sleep" "I was fine watching you sleep" "If you were watching me sleep, why didn't you wake me up?" "Because you were sleeping?" Levi stated it as if it was completely obvious that you should leave someone having a nightmare sleeping. Wanker "Next time, wake me up sooner. I don't like watching people die" "Noted" "That means you have to sleep now" "I know" It turned out that Levi was right to be paranoid. Both of them woke to a loud knocking on the bedroom door with the announcement of dinner. Not caring he was butt naked, Levi climbed from the bed while Eren hid the egg and his face. They'd probably seen his scales the day before, though he'd try to hide them as much as he could. And if not, they may have put two and two together with the scales. Making sure Eren was covered, Levi opened the door, exchanging the briefest of words with Shirley, before closing it with his foot. Placing the tray down, Levi went to pour himself a cup of tea. It was then that Eren smelt something wrong. All but flying out of bed, he knocked the pot from Levi's hands. The alpha looking at him like he was a freak "What the fuck was that?" "There's something in it" "Yeah. Hot water and tea leaves" Squatting down, Eren cautiously poked through the remains of the teapot, finding what he was looking for. Holding up the culprit herb between the tips of his pointer finger and middle finger "What's that?" "Poison Hemlock. Not something you want to be eating or drinking. I don't think we're safe here" Eren hated being wrong. These were the people Hannes knew, yet these were the people who'd just tried to poison them "She tried to kill us?" "Well, let's just say if you were Zeke. I think I would have waited longer to stop you" "We both know you're ridiculously pure hearted. You would have stopped him" "I hate that you're right" "On the other hand..." Levi's face darkened, his bloodlust surging to the surface "Levi. No" "She tried to kill us" "Yeah. And I have a plan" "So do I. I already don't like that she has one of your scales" "That's hardly my fault. I can't help it that we have nothing else to trade or sell" "You could have grown some plants. Picked some fruit. Sold some flowers" "Because that wouldn't be weird. For now, I need to clean this up. Don't touch the food either, it doesn't smell safe. When she comes back for the dishes, we'll get some answers" "Or..." "Or, we could make a scene in a town we know nothing about. Have more people hate us and come after us" "You're a dragon" "So now you're ready to admit I could have flown us out" "God. Give it a rest. You don't need to be so fucking impossible. Someone just tried to kill us, and your back to complaining about your sore feet" "Of course my feet are fucking sore! You're a fucking tyrant! Oh, look at me. I'm Levi, and I have no regard for the fact my omega is hurting and is fucking exhausted. Ho. Ho. Ho. Fucking wanker" "It's better than being you! Oh. I'm Eren. I'm a stubborn loud mouthed brat who constantly feels the need to trust humanity, even when they're trying to kill us!" "I would rather trust someone, than run them through with my sword!" "You can't even use a fucking sword! You can't even ride a horse! Let me just use my creepy dragon magic to fix everything!" Eren might have started the fight, but Levi's words cut fucking deep. The alpha knew he'd struggled with his image since presenting with scales, and he knew how many people thought him a "freak" for being part dragon "It's not as creepy as you are! You're not even Levi anymore. You're more and more like Obsydin every day!" "And who's fault is that?!" "Are you seriously going to blame this on me?! Get fucked, Levi. Go drink your poisoned tea and get fucked!" Eren couldn't process how angry he was at Levi. Abandoning cleaning up, he started snatching up his belongings "Now what are you doing?" "I'm packing" "I thought you wanted to..." "No! Don't do that. Don't turn this back to what I wanted. Not when I know you find me creepy" "I..." "I don't want to hear it" Snatching up his pants, he wiggled them on, despite the fact his legs were sticky from the previous night's activities "What are you doing?" "Fucking leaving. You think I'm disgusting, so what's the point of staying by your side!" Remembering the engagement ring on his finger, Eren tore it off and threw it at Levi, before continuing his packing "I didn't say that" "No. You're too busy saying what you think about what I want to hear. You don't even care Hannes is dead, do you!? You don't care about the egg. You don't care about anyone but yourself. Fuck you. And fuck Obsydin" * Eren had no idea what happened. One minute he was yelling at Levi.

[fluffyllamas-23]

I’ve written a couple of drabbles with my new boys, but here’s their first official fic with Owen and Kaden :D

It’s nearly nine at night when Owen trudges through the door,  thick plastic bag holding leftovers from his restaurant around his wrist.  

His breath snags in his chest, and he hunches over, coughing into the crook of his elbow.  When his lungs finally stop spasming, he tosses his keys into the bowl on the table next to the door and then walks into the kitchen.  He puts the food on the counter, because even if he has no desire to eat any of it, his husband definitely will.

He’s itching to find Kaden, because he just wants to cuddle with him on the couch...or in bed - it doesn’t matter, really, he just needs him.  He had woken up that morning, feeling vaguely like he might be coming down with something.  By afternoon, he realized that he’s definitely getting sick, and by the time he left for the night, the symptoms had fully settled in, and he was officially sick.

“Kaden,” he croaks out, walking down the hallway and groaning as his eyes throb against the harsh lights.  He shuts them off with a shaky hand, and clears his throat to try and suppress a coughing fit.  

“In the bathroom!” Kaden calls out, voice muffled.  

“What are you-” Owen stops when he walks into the bathroom, eyes zeroing in on Kaden sitting cross-legged on the counter, tearing off the athletic tape from the roll and patting it down gently on his wrist.  “Are you alright?”

“Hmm?” Kaden looks up, “yeah, why?”

“You-” Owen croaks, voice breaking as he muffles a raspy coughing fit into the crook of his elbow.  

“Are you alright? Shit, you look awful. I thought you sounded hoarse this morning.”

Owen waves him off, “I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine,” Kaden frowns, hopping off the counter.  He crosses the distance between him, and before Owen can protest, lays a cool hand on his forehead, “mmm...you're really warm, I think you might have a fever.  Go lie down.”

“What’d you do to your wrist?”

“I tweaked it at practice.”

“Oh...you should be more careful,” Owen says, sounding dazed.  

“How the hell did you manage to drive home like this without crashing? You should have called me, I would have picked you up.”

“I drove home because I’m FINE.”

“You have a fever.”

“No...your hand is just...hot.”

Kaden rolls his eyes, and pushes him gently towards the couch, “have you eaten?”

He shakes his head, “brought food home, though.”

Kaden’s eyes light up, “what’d you bring?”

“I dunno...can’t remember.”

“I’ll check. Go change into something more comfortable.”

“This is comfortable.”

“Oh my god, stop acting like a petulant toddler for two minutes,” Kaden scolds gently, “go change into some fucking sweats and a hoodie because slacks and a button down and a tie aren’t fucking comfortable.”  

“Ka-”

“-I’ll go grab you a blanket and some medicine, don’t fight me on it, you have a fever and that god-awful cough, and you need it.”

“I don’t want it,” he gripes.

“Owen,” Kaden frowns, “it’s not up for discussion.”

“Yes, it is.  I don’t have to take it if I don’t want to, and I don’t want to.”

Kaden sighs, “okay. I’ll make you a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

“I’m going to take your temperature.  If it’s over a hundred, you take it, and I’ll make you some mac n cheese, and that tea you like so much,” when Owen pauses and gnaws on his bottom lip, “and I’ll even throw in a massage and put the blanket in the dryer and you can pick whichever movie you want.”

“How are you going to give  mea massage with a fucked up wrist?” Owen frowns, “you should be icing that, by the way.”

Kaden rolls his eyes, “I have been. Don’t change the subject - what do you say?”

Owen is quiet for a minute, and then, “fine.”

Owen goes into the bedroom to change, and Kaden walks around the house, locating the thermometer, medicine, and blanket that Owen likes when he’s sick before walking into the laundry room.  By the time he walks out a couple of minutes later, Owen is sprawled out on the couch, head resting on pillowed arms as he drifts in and out of sleep.  

Kaden drapes the blanket over him, and then kneels in front of him, “you want a pillow? It’s gotta be more comfortable than your arms.”

“Mmm,” he mumbles sleepily, blinking heavily.  

“Here,” Kayden says gently, grabbing one of the throw pillows from the other side of the couch.  

“Oh...thanks,” he mumbles.  

Kaden puts the thermometer in his ear, “do you have to work tomorrow?”

“No...s’my day off...unless there’s some emergency.”

“There’d better not be,” Kaden says, glancing at the number on the screen, “you have a one hundred and one degree fever.”

“Nooooo,” Owen whines, “I don’t want medicine.”

“Too bad, sucks for you, but you promised.”

“The empathy I feel from you is just overwhelming.”

“Well if you weren’t such a baby about taking it, I would be nicer.  Don’t make me sit on you like last time, just take it please.”

“It’s gross.”

“I know, but it’ll help you feel better.”

“I guess.”

“I’ll get you something to chase it with.  Just take it and you’ll be done.”

*

“No,” Kaden says, shaking his head as he watches Owen stumble around the room, getting ready, “absolutely not.”

“My best chef fucking walked out in the middle of the lunch rush,” Owen rasps, a scowl crossing his face, “I don’t have a choice, Kaden. George called me in a panic, he doesn’t have time to hire someone new, and I’m qualified enough to step in, so I’m going to.”

“You do have a choice! You’re sick. I know that restaurant is your baby, and I know you love it, but you didn’t sleep all night, and you still have a fever and you can’t fucking stop coughing. You don’t have to go, have your managers handle it.”

“We only have two managers,” he groans, burying his face in his hands.

“That’s plenty.”

“No. Millie’s Mom is in the hospital, so she can’t work, and Josh hasn’t had a day off in over a week, he needs a break.”

“You haven’t had a day off in over a week either. You need a break, too.”

“It’s my fucking restaurant, this is my responsibility.”

Kaden groans, “you’re going to die. You really don’t have anyone else you can call?”

“Not until the dinner staff shows up in a couple of hours.”

“If you’re really insistent on going, I’ll drive you. I don’t want you behind the wheel when you’re this sick, you’d crash your car and then I’d kill you. You do know that if you show up looking this shitty, Ada is going to kick your ass.”

“I’ll just pull the boss card then.”

“And then she’ll kick your ass all over again for using the boss card.”

“Yeah, well,” he croaks, coughing into the crook of his elbow.  

“Uh, so I hope you know that none of your customers are going to be very happy if you infect them with whatever the hell kind of plague you caught.”

“Flu mask,” he croaks, “and gloves and hand sanitizer.  It’ll be fine.”

*

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?” Ada growls, stepping around him, holding a hot pot of tomato sauce. “Why are you even here? I can handle it, dumbass.”

“George didn’t seem to think so,” Owen croaks, blinking slowly down at the dish he’s working on.

“Yeah, well George is a huge dick, and you need to just fire him.”

“He’s the best kitchen manager around, you know that,” Owen scowls, “and if I’m not mistaken, I offered the job to you, but you said-“

“-Fuck no. Yeah, I remember.”

“Right. So you can’t complain about anything.”

“I can, and I will.”

“Yeah, I know you will,” he croaks, voice catching as he coughs into the crook of his elbow. Even though ne has a flu mask on, he’s still worried about possibly contaminating the food.

He clears his throat with a grimace, and he’s suddenly aware of just how aggressively awful he feels, and he regrets turning down meds before Kaden had driven him to work.  

He turns his attention back to what he’s working on. As each minute ticks by, he feels worse and worse, and a little while later, he feels a hand on the back of his neck, followed by a sharp inhale.

“Owen, seriously,” Ada says, voice uncharacteristically soft, “you’re really warm...go home.  We can handle it on our own.”

“I jus’need to sit down,” he mumbles, everything suddenly becoming too much. 

“Okay, okay,” she soothes, “let’s get you out back, it’s too hot in here.”

Owen nods, the movement jerky and uncoordinated, and Ada puts her hand underneath his elbow, helping him outside.  He sighs in relief when the cold air hits his face, but then he’s coughing so harshly that tears spring to his eyes, and his knees buckle beneath him.  She catches him, grunting as she lowers him to the ground.  

“Sorry,” he croaks, blinking dazedly as black spots gather in his peripherals.  

Ada crouches in front of him, putting his hands on his cheeks as she tries to gauge just how warm he really is.  

“If you weren’t so fucking out of it, I would kick your ass for showing up, I hope you know that.”

*

Kaden is sitting in the car, music blasting as he bobs his head along to the beat.  He taps his fingers in time with the music as he scrolls through his phone.  His phone rings, and he glances at the screen, corners of his mouth tugging down into a frown when he sees Ada’s name.  

He kills the music before answering the phone and putting it on speaker.  

“Ada?”

“You need to come get your idiot husband.”

His stomach clenches, “what happened?”

“He basically collapsed.  I have him out back, come get him, I have to go back to work.”

Kaden is out of the car in an instant, barely checking to make sure the road is clear before he crosses the street and makes his way into the restaurant.  He all but kicks the doors open, walking through the kitchen and out the backdoor, heart pounding in his chest.  

“Oh good,” Ada says, glancing up at Kaden, “okay, if you’ve got him, I’m out.  Just...keep me in the loop.  Make sure he doesn’t die.”

“I will.  Thank you,” Kaden says, staring down at Owen, who’s sitting with his head between his knees.  He kneels in front of him, “it’s time to go, sweetheart.  Can you stand?”

“I don’t know,” Owen croaks.  

“We’ll go slow then.  Let me know if you need to stop.”

Kaden helps him to his feet slowly, and as soon as Owen is steady, he puts his hand on his lower back.  

To Kaden’s surprise, they only need to stop a handful of times, and once Owen is finally in the car, he breathes a sigh of relief.  

“I think I made a mistake,” Owen croaks, coughing roughly into his shoulder.  

Kaden shoots him a flat look, “you think? I would say you absolutely made a mistake.”

Owen groans weakly, “you’re mad.”

“Yeah, I’m fucking pissed,” Kaden seethes, narrowing his eyes at Owen.  

Owen stares at his lap, looking so dejected and sad.  The little, “oh” that he croaks out sounds so upset and broken, that it nearly breaks Kaden’s heart.

“We can talk about it when you’re feeling less awful,” Kaden says gently, reaching out to cup his burning cheek, “let’s just go home.”

“I didn’t mean to make you mad...I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he says, smiling softly at Owen.

“Can we cuddle?”

“Of course.  How about you close your eyes and try to get some sleep?”

He nods, allowing himself to drift off to sleep to the sounds of the music drifting lightly through the radio.

[trustmeimawitch]

Home Sweet Fucking Home; backstory drabble (Aaron) one-shot

A/N: various triggers are contained within this drabble so read at your own discretion.

Thank you.

2005      

    Aaron got the call Thursday night, just twenty minutes before midnight, before he was due to meet a demon about shipment of magical artifacts. He canceled the meeting, caught the next flight out of Las Vegas without offering a single apology. Twelve hours later, he was home.

    Or, what used to be his home.

    New Ashton hadn't changed much. The city was still the same shithole it always was, cleverly disguised as an ambiguous sort of place, a geographical impossibility, a place where magical and supernatural shit was the norm. The place where he'd grown up, where they'd all grown up, wasn't a very forgiving place, even for those supernaturally inclined.

    The years might've gone by, but the memories hadn't. At least some things had changed. Kay no longer lived at home. She had her own place, an apartment in a shitty little neighborhood, but it was as far across the city from their mother as could get. That seemed to work well for her, but Aaron had gone all the way across the country and that still didn't seem like far enough for him.

    The other side of the world probably wouldn't be enough.

    There was no way he would've come back if it wasn't for a good reason. The last time had been when Kay gave birth to CJ. And this time it was once again because of his half-sister, though the occasion this time wasn't joyous.

    Despair tightened in the bottom of his stomach, coiled into a knot that wouldn't loosen. Barely past noon and he already wanted the day to end—fair enough, given he'd been awake for almost twenty-four hours now and sleep was no doubt too far away.

    He took a bus from the airport to the bus station just outside the city limits, then he walked the rest of the way. As tired as he was, he couldn't sit still for a minute longer. The walking gave him something to do, gave him the opportunity to think, to smoke cigarette after cigarette, and soak in the midday sun that bore down on broad shoulders.

     She was sick, she'd said. And she sounded like it too. She sounded god-awful tired, like every ounce of energy was being sucked out of her and it was a struggle for her to keep her head high. She wouldn't tell him what, so Aaron could only assume it was worse than a cold or the flu. She wouldn't be calling him if it was something like that. Kay had always been the one to get sick, and very sick at that, when they were kids. He and Jamie were demigods. Their blood, their lineage, it protected them from illnesses. Kay wasn't like them. All human. And get sick she did. Often. It wasn't a surprise to hear it now, but it still took his breath away.

    She wouldn't have called him if it wasn't bad. The lack of details worried him, and he knew his sister didn't want to talk over the phone. He didn't have a choice but to come. If he hadn't—well, Aaron was enough of an asshole as it was. When it came to Kay, it was different. He wouldn't abandon her again, not when she so clearly wanted him there.

    Her street wasn't very busy for an afternoon, and he made it up the steps to her apartment without anyone stopping him on the sidewalk, without being stopped—he almost wanted to be stopped. Delay the inevitable. Hold on to the few precious seconds he had before everything went to shit.

    But there was no way to do that. As much as he hoped, Aaron had always been practical. Wishing, delaying—none of it was particularly helpful. A waste of time, a waste of energy. He composed himself before he rang the doorbell, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and resisting the urge to immediately light up a cigarette to calm his nerves.

    He noticed it immediately when she opened the door. She looked thinner than the last time he saw her. Three years ago, thereabouts, when she and CJ had made the trip out to Vegas to stay with him for a week. She looked drawn, gaunt. The hollows of her eyes were dark, making the blue-green of them stand out—but even they seemed dulled. Kay's hair was shorter too, chopped off just below her ears.

    She said nothing when she saw him there, immediately pulling him into a hug, face pressed against his chest. Her fists bunched into the fabric of his leather jacket, and she didn't let go even when he enfolded his warm arms around her. For a few seconds, there was nothing at all wrong. Everything was fine. Aaron was there and she was safe and warm. The world was right.

    That all faded when reality snapped back. She relaxed her hands and closed her eyes. Tears wanted to fall but years of practice kept her from shedding them. Even so, she ended the hug long before she was ready, and feebly swiped at her eyes anyway.

    And then her fist hit his chest, walloping him with all the strength she had—which, given the circumstances, wasn't much. “You could pick up the goddamn phone once in a while.”

    The blow didn't do anything to him, but Aaron staggered back in the doorway anyway. A wry smile pulled at his face. He didn't have any good excuses for having not called her, or for why he didn't pick up whenever she did. He wanted to avoid anything to do with his family, to avoid the guilt of having left them behind. Avoiding it wasn't helpful in any sense, but it kept it out of the forefront of his mind, and that was good enough. He almost hadn't answered her call Thursday, but he had.

    “I made an effort.”

    “Not a strong one.”

    “Fucking sue me.”

    That earned a faint smile from her. Kay waved him into the door and shut it behind him. The locks slid back into place, but she took her time doing it, to gather her thoughts. A part of her hadn't expected him to come. She'd been fully prepared for his refusal, but Aaron was here now.

    It was time to face the facts. This wasn't going to be easy. “You fly in?” She filled the silence with small talk as she walked the short distance to her kitchen, grabbing for an ashtray. Aaron had a cigarette out and lit before she even had it on the coffee table. “Of course you did. How else did you get here so fast?” But there were other ways, favors from demons or witches who could travel a large distance in a blink, but Kay dismissed that with a shake of her head.

     Aaron didn't say anything, just watched his sister. She moved slowly, like she was in pain, everything she did was deliberate and careful from the way she sat down, to how she folded her arms over her chest when she leaned back, to how her fingers traced the burn scars on her upper arm—a remnant left over from childhood and his literally explosive outbursts. He took a long draw on the cigarette before he passed it to her. “Where's CJ?” he asked, expecting the kid to run out from one of the other rooms like a bat out of hell, but the place was silent. “She's what? Eight now or some shit?”

    “Yeah, or some shit.” Her smile was thin but she took the cigarette and inhaled on it, letting the smoke join Aaron's a second later. “Amber's at school.” She put emphasis on her daughter's real name. Aaron always insisted on the nickname, as did Jamie. It was going to stick, Kay was sure of it, and that would lead to a fun discussion of how it stood for Cujo Junior and just why her brother thought it was funny to have nicknamed the bitey toddler after a fictional rabid dog. “It's Friday. She won't be home until three. Sorry.” It wasn't important though, not right now. Her daughter's absence gave her time to talk with Aaron alone.

     “It's alright. I'll see her then.” What was a couple of hours compared to a few years? And CJ wasn't the reason he was here anyway. It was for Kay, and whatever it was she had to say. There was no sense in keeping up with the small talk—it had never suited them anyway. They'd never been one for mincing words anyway, not when it came to getting down to the important things.

    Kay pressed her lips together, looking down at the cigarette between her fingers. Her hand shook as she brought it up for another drag. She passed it back to him and exhaled the smoke in a heavy sigh.  “I'm dying.”

    Silence. Aaron watched the smoke curl from the end of the cigarette, watched it go up toward the ceiling, where it vanished into nothing. He swallowed hard, kept his eyes trained there.

    She watched him, waited for a response, waited to see how badly this would affect his control. The air was warm, but no warmer than it usually was within his or Jamie's presence. Her heart thudded loudly, a boom-boom boom-boom in her ears that drowned out all other sound. She realized she was holding her breath and she exhaled, tasting the tobacco and tar that lingered on her lips and tongue.

    Finally, he moved, dropping his gaze from the ceiling and focusing ahead of him. “Shit.”

    “I was diagnosed a while back. It's cancer. I--” Kay cut herself off, shifted some in her seat to better face him. “I was taking treatments but the doctor said that they're not working—”

    “No.”

    “--he says there's not a lot of time.” She ignored his protest. When he started to rise from her couch, she grabbed his wrist, even though his skin was hot to the touch. “You're not going to walk away, and you're not going to burn any of my shit, okay?” She spoke firmly, jaw set, eyes suddenly bright with intensity. “You're not walking the fuck away from me now. Do you understand?”

     Her grip was tight on him, tighter than he expected. Instinct had him wanting to pull away, but when he heard the desperate plea in her voice, the vehemence within her look, he sat back down. This wasn't happening, he tried to tell himself, she couldn't be dying. She was only twenty-nine. Too young to die, too young for any of this shit.

    “Do you understand?” she repeated. There were tears in her eyes now, glistening but unshed. Her composure had been tentative at best, and it was now crumbling apart. She had wanted to be strong for this, but she wasn't. “Jamie can't help me. Jamie's—he's on the brink of losing his own shit.” She didn't need to explain to him how much she relied on Jamie's help. They had always been close, had always supported each other. His young brother had always had his own problems, and it was clear that they were getting in the way of looking out for Kay, looking out for their niece. “I can't rely on him. I can't put that pressure on him. I don't know what to do, Aaron. I'm running out of people I can call on. I can't—Mason's out of the fucking question. And there's no way in hell I'm getting Mom involved. It's us, right?” She looked up at him. “It's always been us. The three of us against the fucking world, right?”

   But I left. I left you and Jamie and I swore I was done. I couldn't face it. I couldn't fucking face myself. I can't do this. The words ran through his head, but he couldn't voice them. For once, he was speechless, trying to make sense of everything she had said. He had to understand it, process it. It was worse than being smacked in the gut. “Fuck.”

    What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do? His anger was palpable, leaving a heavy aura in the room. The heat was steadily climbing, but Kay didn't let go of him. “I don't want this,” he heard himself murmur, his voice low.

   “No one wants this.” Her voice was quiet too. Her fingers eased away from his wrist, drawing across her face. She pushed away the tears that had fallen. “I can't do it alone. I don't know what to do after—when I--” Her breath came out shaky. Fingers combed through her hair, gripping it for a moment before she dropped it. She had calmed down some, resigned to the fact life had handed them all shitty cards and that there wasn't much they could do about it. “We need you, Aaron. That's all there is to it. We need you.”

    The cigarette between his fingers had burned down and Aaron leaned forward automatically to crush it out. Without thinking, he had another one from the pack, blazing before it came to his lips. He took one long drag, then another. The nicotine did nothing for his nerves, nothing to soothe his mind so he could think.

    For once in his life, he realized, he could do the right thing. It wasn't what he'd pictured with his life, and it was a blow he hadn't quite processed completely yet, but there were some things he knew with certainty—if Kay needed him, if CJ needed him, if Jamie needed him, there was no way Aaron could turn his back on them now.

    There was a lump in his throat that made swallowing difficult. It was going to take time to come to terms with it. It would take time for him to understand, to figure out what to do, but time might not be on their side. He had to do this like he did everything else—headfirst, little hesitation.

    He let the cigarette drop into the ashtray before he turned to Kay. Her eyes were fixed on her hands now, where she pulled at her fingers. When he took her hands, she stilled them. One look at his face, and she understood his new resolve. She tried to smile, but if failed. When her tears came, she didn't try to stop them and neither did Aaron. He put his arms around her, drew her close, let her cry. It was what she needed right then, and he gave that to her. There was very little question now what he wouldn't do for his family.

    A weight lifted from her when she sank again into his arms. Her troubles were far from over, but the burden had now shifted. Aaron was going to help her, help them. The certainty of that was all it took to ease her mind and soul. She could rest now, for the first time in months.

    When she withdrew from the embrace this time, she murmured her apologies for having cried into his t-shirt, but Aaron didn't seem to notice the wetness or care that it stung his skin. He just shrugged, picked up the remainder of his cigarette, and got right down to it.  “Guess I'm gonna have to find a fucking place to live. Get a fucking job. Shit. I'm gonna have to go legit, ain't I?”

    Kay's chuckle was humorless. “Looks like.”

    “Home sweet fucking home.” 

[neganandblake]

I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 133 - Two

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she's certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit….

MASTERLIST

Chapter 133 - Two

[Blake confronts Negan about Sherry’s pregnancy scare, and the Saviour reveals a truth he has never yet confessed to anyone...]

Blake's head swam with worries and questions that continued to run through her busy mind, as she returned to her and Negan's room, with Mia in tow, not even five minutes later.

It was, to her stomach churning relief, vacant of the dark-haired man. So she silently flipped on the light, heading straight into the bathroom, as Mia's fingers curled into her long caramel-blonde hair.

It was getting late now, and Blake, running on automatic, bent over, plugging the tub, before beginning to run a nice warm and shallow bath for Mia.

But she felt light headed, perching hurriedly on the side of the tub, while she stripped Mia out of her clothes, neatly folding them onto the countertop near to them.

What was wrong with her?

Was it really any surprise that the man with six wives, over two long years, would have gotten one of them pregnant?! Or thought he had at least...

But perhaps, to Blake, it wasn't the idea of that, that hurt her the most. It was the idea that Negan perhaps had once been excited about having a baby with Sherry, just as he was now with Blake.

Had he been as elated, as proud, as loving with her? Or had it never even gotten that far?

If Sherry had had the baby, would he be with her now?

Would he even have looked at Blake' twice?

Would it have been her he had been cuddled up to at dinner tonight while Blake had sat there bruised and battered across the dining hall with David...still the broken woman she had come here as?

"Wai Bwakey look sad?"

Blake blinked, Mai's words breaking her suddenly from her thoughts.

"Im not sad, sweetie," lied Blake, offering the tiny girl and warm and caring smile. "Come on, let's get you into this bath, shall we."

Mia gave a giggle as Blake carefully lowered the little girl into the water, observing the way the toddler, splashed about, giving a small squeal as she did so, obviously enjoying herself.

Gosh, Blake loved her. With all her heart.

She placed a hand to her stomach.

And Blake also knew that, boy or girl, she would love the baby growing inside her right now, just as much.

But this, well it was a hard bout of news to get given...now…..after everything.

Why had Negan never told her? Did he not think it was important?

Or perhaps she was not important. Blake.

Perhaps she was just one in a long line of women…

But of course, Blake already knew that she was. She was not the first. And perhaps she wasn't the last either.

But she shook herself again huffily.

God, she just needed to snap out of it. What was wrong with her?

Negan loved her, she knew that.

Then why was she unable to shake these horrible feelings of doubt from her mind.

Right now she should have been elated...happy that she was having a baby with the man she loved and adored.

But this had just come from nowhere, blowing Blake out of the water, at a time where her hormones and her health was already all over the place.

Mia's bath didn't take long, and within ten minutes, Blake was stood at the edge of the large four poster bed in the room she shared with Negan, drying off the wriggly toddler who squerimed about in a large white fluffy towel.

"Come on," sighed Blake smiling gently down at the little girl, whose brown hair was currently sticking up at all angles around her head, like a little lion. "Let's' get your jammies on."

Blake had already grabbed a pair of pink pony-covered pyjamas from a small pile that had been left on the arm of one of Negan's couches, blatantly full of stuff pulled either from the marketplace, or from runs on Negan's orders.

Some of the clothes were either way too small for her, or way too big, but some things, like these cute little pjs for instance, fitted just right. And Blake knew that Negan would be grateful for not having share his tshirts with the little girl any longer.

She smiled to herself now, as she lifted Mia up from under her arms, hauling her a little way up the bed before plopping her gently down upon the soft white pillows.

The teeny girl gave a humongous yawn, shuffling herself down under the covers without much protest as Blake tucked her in.

And before Blake had even paced across the room to find a picture book that Mia enjoyed to read before bed, she turned, hearing a small sniffly sigh, to see Mia fast asleep, the time spent with the wives this afternoon obviously having worn her out.

Blake stopped staring at the sweet little girl for a long, long moment, unable to take her eyes off her.

This should have been a perfect moment.

But Blake could help that it was tarnished now by Amber's revelation.

Perhaps the young blonde girl had only been looking out for Blake…

Perhaps she had seen Sherry hurt in the past and didn't want to see it happen again….

Blake was under no illusion that Negan was a saint. But with him Blake had found herself feeling safer and more loved than she had ever felt before in her entire life.

So it was still hard for her to deal with this information.

She lingered for a moment on her feet, before moving over to the nearby leather couch, and, sinking down onto the seat besides the pile of toddler clothes, she slowly drew the laundry onto her lap and began to re-fold each item neatly.

But her eyes stared blankly at her lap...her mind whizzing and whirring at 100 miles a minute.

And it wasn't long until Blake flinched at the familiar sound of Negan's boots approaching, and a second later the sound of the door to the room being shoved open.

But Blake didn't look up, merely staring down at the far-too-small white snuggly all-in-one sleepsuit in her hands, running her fingers over the soft material.

Negan stopped in his tracks just a foot or two into the room, gazing over at a sleeping Mia tucked away in their bed, before slowly closing door behind him with a small snap.

"Beansprout, crashed already, huh?" he asked giving a low chuckle and placing Lucille down onto the sideboard near to the door.

But Blake didn't answer him now, the smallest of hard gulps sliding its way down her slender throat.

Fuck, fuck, fuck...

She could feel her face burning hot, her heart thudding away inside her chest, feeling like she wanted to be sick.

But she didn't.

Instead Blake just sat there, staring down at the sleepsuit, as Negan's eyes flickered over to her.

"Y'alright, Peaches?" he asked, taking a step towards her as she sat there, almost unmoving in the lamplight.

Should she scream at him?

Burst into tears?

Right now, Blake didn't want to do either. In fact she just wanted to run away. To do the opposite of confront Negan about this?

Did that make her a coward? An idiot? Or just someone who was so sick of being hurt?

After years of abuse…

...of pain…

...of bruises…

...of miscarriages….

...of losing people she loved….

Blake wasn't quite sure how much more she could cope with.

She ran her slender digits over the fleecy lining of the baby outfit in her hands. Wondering how her own baby would look all cuddled up in this…

...how Sherry and Negan's baby would have looked in the same thing…

And it was then that Blake spoke, her voice cold and quiet.

"Why didn't you tell me about Sherry? About how she thought she might have been pregnant…"

At her words Negan was silent for a very long moment, causing Blake's pleading eyes to rise and meet with his chocolate gaze.

And it took what felt like an age for him to give a short huff, dragging his hand down his long and lined face tiredly.

"Peaches, I-" he began in a low voice, his eyes darkened with a sorryness Blake had never seen from him before.

But Blake shook her head.

"Did you love her?" she whispered out sharply, her heart aching with a sadness she had hoped to never feel again.

But Negan took a step towards her now, a frown appearing between his eyebrows.

"All that. That shit with Sherry….. well it was a long fuckin' time ago, Darlin'-" Negan began again, but once more Blake spoke over him, her voice becoming hoarse as she held back tears of frustration.

"That's not the point, Negan," she said with a dry gulp. "Did you love her? Y-You tried to get her pregnant, so you must have felt something for her?"

From the bed, Mia stirred a little in her sleep at the sound of Blake's slightly raised voice.

The blonde woman stared over at the toddler for a second, before turning her attention back to Negan, whose frown had already deepened.

"I didn't try to get her pregnant, Doll-face-" he started, but Blake got to her feet suddenly, pointing at him.

"You had fucking unprotected sex with her Negan, what the fuck did you think was going to happen?!" Blake exclaimed, trying as hard as she could to keep her voice down.

So much anger and frustration at everything seemed to be pouring out of her now. So many unsaid things drifting to the surface…

But Negan looked troubled, not saying a word, his tongue reaching his back molars, as he clenched his jaw hard, staring at her.

"Did you love her?" Blake asked again starkly, sounding hurt.

But Negan just tilted his long face to the side, never taking his eyes off hers.

"You really think I fucking loved her, Darlin'?" he asked in strained and questioning voice.

But Blake just shifted her weight from foot-to-foot.

"Well you got her pregnant…" Blake said in a tearfully exasperated voice, turning away from him now and holding her arms over herself.

Tears began to fall freely from her cheeks for the second time today, but now, for a completely different reason than before…

"Carson did a fuckin' test, Sweetheart," Negan said in a carrying voice, causing Mia to shuffle about in the bed again. "It came back goddamn negative. Sherry wasn' even pregnant. Damn woman just thought she might have been is all."

"And that makes it ok?!" snapped Blake, spinning around on the spot and glaring at Negan. "So what am I? Just one in a long list of girls you've tried to get pregnant? Is that it? And bingo," Blake uttered loudly in a simpering voice, gesturing to her stomach. "You finally did it. I mean it took a lot of perseverance, but-"

Negan's eyes darkened at her tone.

"You wanna quit talkin' so much shit, Darlin'?" he said imploringly, pointing a warning finger at her suddenly.

"Or what?" said Blake, tears skimming down her cheeks. "You gonna put me in my place like you did to Sherry or the rest of the wives?"

But Negan didn't let her say another word, his face like thunder.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Peaches!" he cried angrily, closing the gap between the pair of them. "Have I ever given you any fucking reason to think that I don't care about you? Hell, we've all got pasts, Darlin', you should know that as well as I do. An' I've done a lot of fuckin' things in my life, hell, in the past couple of years, I ain't proud of. But don't fuckin' tell me you don't know how much you fuckin' mean to me. You, beanspout, an' our kid you've got growin' inside ya."

He stared down at her now, as Blake gazed up at him, giving him a sad sort-of look, her face awash with tears.

She paused for a lengthy second or two, before opening her mouth to speak again.

"Would you have still been with her...Sherry, if she'd had your baby?" she asked.

Negan blinked and dragged a hand over his bearded mouth, giving another carrying huff.

"What the fuck do you want me to say to that?" he replied slowly. "Hell, I ain't a monster and I aint about to walk out on a pregnant gal. But don't for a fuckin' moment think that I fuckin' loved her, Peacehes."

His eyes were full of honesty now, as he stood there mere inches away from her without their bodies touching.

Blake stared up at him, helplessly, as he finally lifted a hand to her forearm, everything in the room becoming suddenly quiet and still.

"Sit," he asked her gently, his voice soothing now in the lamplight, as Blake did as he said, sitting down onto the couch behind her, her eyes fixed on his, as tears ran down her cheeks to her slender neck.

Negan joined her, but perched on the edge of the couch cushion, hands clasped between his spread knees, his gaze drifting to the floor.

"There's only two people in this world I've ever fuckin' loved," he began slowly. "My first wife….hell, we met when we I was a senior and she was a sophomore, on the cheerleadin' squad, while I played on the football team. She was my every-fuckin'-thing. But we tried for a family. For kids, but she couldn't…"

Negan trailed off, mouthing at the air for a moment, before letting a harsh gulp trail up, and then back down, his bearded throat.

"So we argued, I drank, left her fuckin' home alone night after damn night. I screwed around on her. An' then one day I was lyin' there in bed, with some gal I can't even remember the damn name of, an I get a call that my wife fuckin' collapsed on the street outside the grocery store. I was supposed to have been the one pickin' up dinner that night', but I'd forgotten' the hell about it. An' by the time I'd made it over to the hospital almost three hours after she'd been brought in, the docs, well they'd already ran all their goddamn tests, an' told her she had terminal fucking cancer. Fucking cancer. She'd known the whole time I'd been cheatin' on her, an she didn't care. It was too late to fuckin' care. But it still tore me apart that she'd known."

Blake stared at him, breathing hard.

Blake had heard bits and pieces of this story before. But Negan had never elaborated. And yet here he was now, baring his soul to her.

His head was bowed low, his shoulders hunched, looking like a broken man. But he gave a deep sniff before continuing.

"And so I stayed with her….until the end…." he said, pausing for a moment, before staring straight up at Blake. "An' I could hear those goddamn sirens outside, the copters', but I just sat there holdin' her damn hand, even after she passed...I couldn't even fuckin' move….an' when the time came, when she came back as one of those sorry fucks, I couldn't even do it….I couldn't put her down. I acted like a cowardly piece of shit. An' I have done ever fuckin' since. I mean, I know I look an' act like a smartass-asshole most of the fuckin' time. But that was only because that day, I gave up givin' a shit about anyone but myself. An eventually I found myself some gals who needed me. An' I gave them what they wanted, protection, a shot at an easy fucking life, but they were just an easy screw an' it looked good. Me standin' there with six wives...king of the fucking castle. With my goddamn empire beneath me. But I was fuckin' empty inside. I could fucking feel it. Like a goddamn cancer of my own."

Negan gave a frown, lowering his chin and staring at a tearful Blake, with earnest chocolate eyes.

"An' then you showed up," said Negan, his hand moving suddenly to Blake's cheek, as he sat up straight, cocking his tanned face to the side, gazing at her in a look that almost resembled awe, his eyes roving across her features. "An you dragged me the fuck away from that emptiness like a goddamn hurricane, Peaches."

Blake gulped,as another tear slid its way down her cheek, but Negan quickly swiped it aside with his coarse thumb.

"So like I said, there's only ever been two fuckin' people in this world I've ever fuckin' loved. Her…..an' you. There ain't ever been nobody else. An' there never fuckin' will be. We clear on that? Look, Sherry's gone. An' there never was no kid with her. There never has been before now. With anyone."

Negan's hand suddenly dropped from Blake's chin, finding her waist, his fingers tracing over her flat abdomen.

"I was never out to become a fuckin' Daddy," he muttered. "An' I ain't gonna lie that it dont scare the livin' shit outta me. But havin' a kid with you. I could die tomorrow and still feel the happiest I've ever felt in my goddamn life."

Blake gave a breathy laugh at this. "Please dont," she said gently, as Negan blinked, a soft smile curving his bearded lips upwards.

"C'mere, Darlin'," he said, snaking his leather-clad arm around her and pulling her to him.

Blake compiled gratefully, feeling two more tears slide down her cheeks.

God, she had been so stupid. But she had just needed to hear it from him. That this was what he wanted.

He smelled like musk, and burning wood fire, and gasoline, and Blake loved him with every inch of her, including the bay girl or boy currently growing inside her.

After a long few moments had passed she finally pulled away, staring down at her lap and swiping tears from her eyes feeling, very stupid all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry," she said gently.

But Negan shook his head, his hand upon her chin again, lifting her gaze to his long face once more.

"Dont fuckin' be, Dralin'," he said imploringly. "All of this shit my fuckin' fault anyway."

He let out a puff of air, digging his tongue into his inner cheek before speaking again.

"Tomorrow…. I'm callin' a meetin' an' making it clear that those gals...well they're free to do whatever they want from now on."

Blake looked at him, with gentle eyes. "Y-You don't have to do that Negan-" she began, but this time it was Negan's turn to cut across her.

"They can stay in that room if they like, hell, they can become Beansprout' full time babysitters club if that's what they want, but that wife shit. I'm done with that damn stuff now."

And with that, before Blake could say another word, Negan had grabbed her, sat back and pulled her onto his lap, as she threaded her legs, either side of his thighs.

"Cause I've got myself a queen instead," he said lifting his chin upwards until his grinning lips brushed against hers.

And Blake couldn't help but smile into his mouth, as she kissed him gently, a warmth spreading through her.

But for once this wasn't a sexual warmth, this was a warmth, that Blake wasn't aware she had ever felt before in her entire life.

Their lives were open books now and Blake was under no illusions about what she meant to him, her Saviour.

For she was the queen to his king.

She had been through shit in her life...been a broken woman….but also a phoenix rising from the ashes of her former life. With Negan at her side.

They were a powerful and formidable team.

And no bullshit stirring from Amber or anyone else was going to fuck that up for them.

Blake had had her doubts, but she had come out stronger, with a reassurance….with a love, that Blake knew he had only ever given to one other.

And no matter what had happened between him and Sherry, that was done. It was all done.

And now the four of them together, her Negan, Mia and the baby could move on….

...leaving the past in the past.

And that meant more to Blake now, than she could ever, ever say.

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