#ik that I’m mentally ill | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cherrysnax · 6 months ago

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maybe I’m a bad and petty person but I feel completely justified in my anger, in my hate. I feel no guilt about it.

#if I didn’t tho would it tear me up inside as much or is it something else #ik that I’m mentally ill #I know that the stress of them being here is making me worse mentally and physically #why do we have to suffer for them #it’s not fucking fair #I fear everytime Chevy goes down because I’m too stricken with fear #that they’ll do something #I lock myself in my room because im paranoid #I see them when I close my eyes in my dreams in the dark #they’re fucking with me #and even if I hurt myself my mother would just cling to them tighter #they are thirty and older but they latch onto her teat with teeth and she refuses to let them go #the cord needs to be cut by an outside source #do y’all hear this shit??????? this is the type of shit repeating in my head nearly 24/7 I think I’m fucking losing it

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clowningcrows · 4 months ago

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lately i’ve been trying to make my life into something that’s worth living again. wearing clothes i like. cutting my hair the length i want. brushing my teeth, trying to remember to floss. stretching my body. taking vitamins, and my meds. practicing new hobbies. revisiting old ones. going to therapy. hell, even trying a new major and avenue for a career. at the end of the day you have to make your life into a life you want to live. i think maybe that’s what it’s all about.

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ciderjacks · 7 months ago

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ocd is weird bc I definitely still have it, I just got really good at identifying it and shutting it down. Like I was taking down a gross medical sticker on my wall that for some reason I stuck up there last year, and my brain was like “no don’t do it. You’ll die if you do that” so I put it back on and my brain was like “or…maybe life will get way better if you take if off. And if you leave it life will get worse. Want to make that choice” and I was like really stumped over it, then suddenly I was like ohhhhh ocd you tricky devil… and tore the sticker off. I go thru this exact experience about thrice a week.

#ocd #Just a peek into my twisted mind……#Jokes aside ik this probably still sounds weird and mentally ill #But trust me on this #It’s way better than it sounds #At least comparatively #Back in 2020 I literally didn’t piss for 2 days because I thought pissing would cause the world to end #Like me at 15 was legit contemplating suicide bc it got to a point where I couldn’t even move #Without being convinced it would end the world #So all I could do was just lay in bed and I couldn’t grab my phone either bc that would also end the world I guess #Couldn’t blink freely had to do like one blink two fast blinks one slow blink #Damn just remembering how much it tormented me before I got a handle on it is actually pissing me tf off Wtf #Fuck ocd I fucking hate ocd #I’m so glad I outsmarted it #Shit was easy too #Bc the way my ocd worked was it was just completely spontaneous #There were certain patterns especially w numbers (like I couldn’t interact w the numbers 6 or 4)#But for the most part it was just whatever my brain decided was bad in that exact moment #Which was why it got as bad as it did so quickly #But that was also why I was able to go “ok well if I obey any compulsion all my fears will come true”#And that WORKED #IT WORKED FUCKING PERFECTLY #SO FUCKING DUMB #who even needs therapy I’m fucking Mr. Mental health. Fuck uou #tw compulsions #tw ocd #tw sui mention #< sui mention is in tags

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measlyscrapofseafood · 8 months ago

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early days into rinzler’s repurposing were…difficult 😬

redraw/rework of this

#tron #tronblr #tron legacy #rinzler #my art #ik the longer hair implies a significant amount of time has passed #but it’s just b/c i like rinzler w a mullet #his eyes are fucked because he was fighting his repurposing #and as his repurposing was made more severe the more it fucked him up #so rinz went ‘damn i’m tearing myself apart and it isn’t even helping me at all’ so he stopped fighting #which is why and how his eyes are the way they are during legacy/how i normally draw them #clu when he gives that program mental illness: he’s fineeee

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charmac · 2 months ago

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x

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spidrboots · 2 months ago

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xxx.

#( ooc . mun speaks . )#i have been feeling. so not good lately.#i PROMISE it’ll be the last i talk abt this for awhile lol #i just cannot get the feeling of being replaceable or unwanted out of my head.#i keep feeling like . . . i’m not good enough #like. my writing isn’t good enough & my portrayal isn’t good enough.#& like i’m annoying or too much ooc.#ik ppl come here to get AWAY from yuckiness so im sorry to spread that.#i am just in a bad way i fear. just sad & anxious & feeling awful abt myself all the time.#there are such wonderful & kind souls here & i dont want to discredit their sweetness #ive just overall been having a rough time w/ my mental health. ill be okay though! just struggling atm.#tw vent #tw negative #tw negativity

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m4ndysk4nkovich · 1 year ago

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do any of y’all kin a character you hate like it’s so embarrassing😭

#i don’t really HATE her but i’m not incredibly fond of fiona yet i relate a lot to her #chaotic eldest parentified daughter of mentally ill mother who makes shitty decisions and self sabotages constantly😁#i mean i relate to debbie a lot and way more than fiona but still #im a hypocrite ik #text

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hideyourautumn-milkteeth · 3 months ago

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That AWESOME BPD feeling when your ex who hurt you throughout the relationship over and over again and made you feel like an intrinsic part of yourself was wrong has no problems post-breakup and feels fine and is laughing with their friends and having a great time and not feeling bad at all and also she’s your roommate so you have to listen to it :) what if I killed myself

#wolvenwhispers #vent #ik this thinking is unhealthy but god #why am I so unlovable #everyone fucking leaves me behind and uses me and cuts me off #at least this time the person stayed by me as my roommate and didn’t just fuck off #but like sometimes that’s worse #cause I’m forced to watch her completely move on like nothing happened and I’m just HHGGWWGGWGWGWGW FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!#I already had multiple conversations with her communicating how she hurt me in the relationship #and how that hurt lead to a lot of my struggle behaviors near the end of our relationship and afterwards #so I don’t wanna be a dick and keep bringing shit up but god it’s so fucking painful #I’m never gonna find someone who sees me for me and actually likes the person they find #I’m fat and ugly and mentally ill and all my interests are fucking stupid and I’m useless and lazy #I deserve to rot in my bed and never get up again

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bluequeerio · 9 days ago

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LOOK WHO FINALLY ARRIVED OMG 🥳🥹🤲

#Lazy ahh pic bc I think my dad wants to watch a movie together so I gtg 🏃‍♀️💨#I’ll take more silly pics later ofc :3 #She is so beeg and soft which is nice bc she is for hugging lol #“Modern raggedy Ann” - my mom #No she’s actually raggedy Ann if she were mentally ill and gay /lh #(Ik a lot of ppl think Ann’s 🏳️‍🌈 but that’s not the point here)#(The point here is haha funny)#tadc ragatha #ragatha plush #Now I’m super enthusiastic abt Hanukkah #(I say on the 6th fucking night lmao 😭)#Also #canon height diffs tbh 💀

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pilonciillo · 24 days ago

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on another note

#4-5ish months i’ve been the main (i’m pretty sure only) person cleaning every weekend #my only days off and through the week clean dishes or load up the washer and pick them up #occasionally someone else w load it but not pick up or vice verse #november i lost all motivation i ask for help i get told they’re tired or they work or later or im met w but i did xyz the other day blah bl #blah blah yk #i tried to clean in nov but i just can’t im tired it’s constant that im cleaning i want to do things not go from work to home for chores to #also cook and then clean up dinner because i also have a job #and when i do something im not like OH well i did xyz! so i won’t do that …no i just say okay because why bring up what i already did things #need to be done why are you arguing with me like we want to bring up receipts? i’ll bring them up #i’m cleaning up clothes that’s not mine i’m cleaning up shit piss ans throw up of a dog that is not mine i walk said dog occasionally #but nope not the other way around why would they do any of that when it’s not theirs ?#i ask them to pick one day to make dinner nope i can’t i’m busy i have xyz …okay i have work gym appts errands too #and since i have cleaned in like a month or over it’s a mess but no one has taken action to fix that it’s just it’s messy in here #that’s why i hate if you need help ask. .#I ASK I DONT GET HELP you ask i help but god forbid i ask #‘but you clean weird’ ‘you do a deep clean’ it’s a regular clean i clean to clean not to light dust and see it be back to how it was in a #day or two. deep clean is i’m up in a ladder cleaning the vents cleaning cabinets shelves i can’t regularly reach or are hard to get to and #honestly that should be a monthly thing #weekly is wipe down appliances. sweep swiffer vacuum and mop the floors. wipe countertops and flat surfaces. flip the chairs around tighten #bolts wash the tablecloth clean the table. vacuum the couches lint roll any cloth surfaces. clean or wipe down the stove/microwave depending #on how dirty. clean bathroom tub toilet sink floors mirror. this is not a deep clean w that you get the fridge and dishwasher windows move t #the furniture to clean under that. i am tired and i dont ever get to finish everything #bathroom stays last and weekends are only so long i also go to the gym or need to go to the store or have ot to do #and ik i brought up here that im depressed but im not bring that up to them because regardless these things need to get done be it a the #worlds slowest pace but does need to happen and i don’t want to use that as an excuse because i will just let myself lay in bed and not show #shower or move does this mentality eat away at me maybe idk but it’s what my parents gave me and it’s not changing i don’t think so here we #are.#we can wait another month and i might be on the up but ill be down again so 🤷‍♀️#like actually i can use a lot of things as an excuse but that doesn’t help anyone does it ?

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cyberfunsupporter · 1 month ago

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i encourage suicidal character hcs idgaf. there are so many bad things in this world and that’s not one of them

#ik a lot of people think it’s boring to just care about angst #or to want that #or to just want mentally ill characters #i get that #if there’s nothing else interesting then #yeah it’s a bore #but i really don’t think it’s something to get so up in arms about it #if a teenager feels seen bc honami wanted to die or they feel like honami would be suicidal then let them idrk #yeah it can be lame to just want needless suffering for a character #but it’s like. fine. it’s just a headcanon. it’s just someone else #you can be different #that’s alright #and me personally #i think suicidal hcs are fine #i think they should happen actually #because it’s more common than you think #and it’s not all ame types trying to cut till they die #there’s passive suicidalness #or just the general ‘i don’t really wanna live very long/anymore’ thought process #it’s different for everyone and it HAPPENS to everyone #so it’s really fine #idk. yeah ppl shld be smarter abt this stuff. but you won’t get there by telling them to shut up #lol #like it’s a diff issue entirely than just wanting angst i’m ngl #it’s more so lack of reading comprehension/media literacy #because you’ll notice their inability to make anything meaningful bleeds into other things #that’s what matters. not the little angst hc on the internet #anyway

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yappacadaver · 4 months ago

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I’m always attracting people I have no compatibility with, nothing in common, it’s so draining

#ik it’s because I’m too fake but it’s like!!! if I’m not fake I get treated like scum so sometimes I just want people to be niceys to me #or like at work where my leftist ideals of giving workers free food and drink is taken as flirting #I just. ugh. where are the cool people at. where. why is everyone a fuckboy or a demure cutesy whatever the fuck #HELLO???? IS ANYONE OUT THERE???????#I wish my work uniform exposed my tattoos I think that would help just a bit #it really does feel like being my exact combination of social detriments (mentally ill. politically homeless. detrans. poor.) makes me #completely isolated from every other human being #ik it’s not true and my people are out there. but it really does be feeling that way #I need to get back into the city #swear on my life people out here are being piloted by bugs or maybe water contaminants #(living in the worlds stupidest suburbs)

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lord-of-the-weird · 1 year ago

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holy tax accountant my beloved

#ik i watched this yesterday but i’m mentally ill about this show n still thinking about it <3 #spn 4×1

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the-limp-linguine · 2 years ago

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Yea.

#Ik I posted abt him already today but yk this was funny #im slightly mentally ill #I’m so sorry y’all 😭#ftm t4t #t4t mlm #mlm thoughts #To my family who sees this uh yea

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reonrollcake · 2 years ago

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my enstars hyperfixation revving back up and soundcloud shitting itself for me happening at the same exact time is like getting shot in both kneecaps by god

#ik the songs are on spotify I’m pretty sure but I’m unfortunately an apple music user #me and yt are becoming besties rn shes my only source of mentally ill twink idol music currently #skittles.txt

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dreamy7777 · 26 days ago

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we text each other constantly for a day —> i am in love/i go crazy with want —> i message them the next day —> they don’t reply for 2-7 days —> i go crazy (anxious attachment style or whatever) —> it all feels so bitter and sick and i’m scared they hate me —> they come back as if nothing happened —> we talk normally again for a day or two —> repeat

#and the thing is. i guess i would tell them this bother me (not bc id want them to reply right away ik there r times when thats not #possible but if i should still be honest that im mentally ill and it makes me feel like this so we could find a solution together…)#BUT i don’t feel we are at that level of closeness #it feels like i’m asking to fulfill my needs to someone who im not sure sees me as a very close frienf yet #if i had that confirmation… then i’d feel okay telling them

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