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āDo it scaredā ādo it aloneā what am I a survival horror protagonist gtfo
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i have the small suspicion that a friend might have feelings for me. this is crazy
#maybe iām just delusional and desperate for attention and think the entire world revolves around me#but itās just. the timing kind of fits#they tweeted all these things abt how they feel so silly for having a crush at their big age on someone who probably doesnāt feel the same#right after we hung out 2 days in a row#well they did hung out w another friend so i assumed it was him but today they told me that friend had a wife and is about to have a child#LOL so i donāt think itās him at all#so that only leaves me who they spent time recently#gawd. but at the same time i know for sure that iām not their type at ALLLLL#so this must come from my self centered self#i donāt even know what would happen if they really have feelings for me. itās complicated#iād just feel flatteredā¦ but iām not sure i feel the same. unlessā¦ā¦ā¦..?#but thatās stupid to think about#and youād think well why would they tweet all that if they knew you can read that#but i havenāt been on twt for a while. kinda disappeared. but i still check friendsā accounts
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āstreamedā as i played an otome game to a friend for many hrs yesterday and today and life feels ok suddenly. it was so much fun. wish i was still hanging out with them
#went through an entire routeā¦ i really liked this love interest#it was scarecr/ow from bustaf/ellows#he was so sweet so so so so sos sosisosodijddhdhd#ok. iām missing my friend already#also quote unquote streamed bc i dont have gamer equipment do i just pointed the lptops camera to my tv and streamed on discord like that#to my friend fjfbfbd#so*
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last of the snow before it turns into water for christmas
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how to tell my parents that having a job is making me wanna kill myself without them coming at me like but you have to start working out etc. how to tell them part of the reason is bc i have no energy to spend time with them and it breaks my heart. i want to die so bad, i donāt know what to do
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emil robinson / marcel rieder / maximilian schaefer / mary fairchild macmonnies low / emilio grau sala / heinrich ferdinand werner
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Stroboscopic photographs of the New York City Balletās production of Jewels, 1969. Photographed by Gjon Mili.
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hmm. i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) (remembers virtue is sufficient for happiness) (remembers iām not joking) kill myself
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It is generally supposed that loneliness can derive from the conviction that there is no person or group to which one belongs. This not belonging can be seen to have a much deeper meaning. However much integration proceeds, it cannot do away with the feeling that certain components of the self are not available because they are split off and cannot be regained. Some of these split-off part are projected into other people, contributing to the feeling that one is not in full possession of oneās self, that one does not fully belong to oneself or, therefore, to anybody else. The lost parts too, are felt to be lonely.
Melanie Klein, "On the Sense of Loneliness"
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