#if you dont agree thats fine. you have a right to your opinion.

[stamplerfag]

im gonna answer the other ask later but TRANSFEM SCARY I WAS. ALSO THINKING HBBBGNN

[mrfoox]

Also I was indirectly called an sub today by my friend and im howling

[walnutcookie]

fandom can be awful sometimes so heres a few reminders for my beloved mutuals:

- do whatever you want forever. if its not harming anyone or yourself you are amazing and you should continue doing it if it makes you happy

- ship wars/discourse suck ass. if its not a proship its fine, if someone has a different ship than you or interprets a ship differently you dont have to fight with them.

- your ocs are the best thing on this planet and you should share them

- your oc x canon is so wonderful and lovely and you should share it

- the ocs you created to be family members of other characters are awesome and you should share them

- your headcanons and interpretations of characters are awesome and you should share them

- hit that character with the beam. you know you want to. make them trans, make them gay, make them poc, make them disabled, make them fat, whatever makes you happy

- if someone is mean to you blow them up (hit the block button)

- be nice to others. support their art, their stories, their ocs and headcanons and ships, even if you arent very interested in them. stay curious!! ask about peoples ideas, because most of the time they want to share just as much as you do

- if other people have different interpretations or ideas, you dont have to agree or disagree with them. its okay to appreciate others opinions without telling them that theyre wrong

- if anyones ships/ideas/etc make you too uncomfortable, block them.

- if someone is too annoying to see in the tags, block them.

- if anyone is mean to you, block them. especially hate anons

- write whatever you want always. draw whatever you want always. draw those girls kissing draw that enby covered in blood write about that man going to see the dentist

- draw them as furries, as dragons, as humans, as objects, whatever your heart desires

- your selfship partner loves you always

- people arent always right about characters. sometimes theyre way far from canon, and its not really your place to correct them. if it makes you too uncomfortable block them.

- some people choose to not follow canon. do what you want forever, you are always right about your blorbo. you are not limited to canon or what the fandom depicts the character as

- dont be the one to send anon hate

- its okay to be a hater and a lover. you can hatepost on your blog just as much as you lovepost. just dont main tag it (thats mean) and dont add it onto other peoples posts who like what youre hating on (thats also mean)

- if someone is hating on something you like, its best not to engage with it.

feel free to add anything i missed :] i love u mutuals you should tell me everything about your ocs and ships and headcanons forever. pls

[julesnjian]

System Mapping

Hello,

Recently I had a great call on Discord where I loosely gave some tips for system mapping. here's a more organized summary:

System mapping can be done in many different mediums. I prefer art, where i represent each alter with a circle and use arrows with words to signify how alters feel in relation to eachother. one of our alters system maps using friendship bracelets, another painted a mask. you can make a powerpoint, journal, really any medium. generally art and abstract system mapping can be less triggering than written system mapping.

as an alter i usually recommend that each alter make their own system maps and make new ones as time goes on. its important to note your perception of yourself and other alters so that you can notice and identify differences and misunderstandings. you can take it a step further and note anything that makes you feel distant or averse to that part, as noting things like that down can be discussed in therapy to help encourage understanding and empathy

writing and/or artistically portraying that you arent aware of an alter or your system is still very useful for yourself and for your therapist!

generally, i feel its very important to honestly portay/note down your personal understanding of the system as an alter without outside input from friends or from other alters, and you should allow your alters to do the same as this can help fill in the gaps and encourage genuine opinions, feelings and thoughts. each alter creating their own system map with their own opinions gives you and your treatment team an understanding of what everyone knows and doesnt know. some of my alters however dont agree with this perspective and prefer to map via including information from other alters as they see a combined perspective in their personal map to be important. if thats you, then thats fine! whats important is not forcing your perspective onto another alter or modifying their map without their consent

System mapping regardless of what medium you use is a very triggering process especially early on. please approach with caution and do not attempt to do it if you feel triggered. this isnt something you have to do alone, you can work on it with your therapist or with a trusted friend.

sometimes, alters will express perceptions and opinions that you dont agree with or that you find to be uncomfortable. this is good, because it means they are being honest and it also means you can bring up this conflict in therapy. hindering their map will only distance you further from them. its important that every alter has the right to exist and express themselves even if you dont like it.

since art is my primary medium, i prefer to communicate alters through shapes, sizes, complexity, colors, etc. you dont have to use words, but it is unfortunately true that the meaning of abstract portrayals can be lost to time due to the nature of CDDs

What my powerpoint consists of - All diagnosed mental health disorders, how those disorders affect different alters, what episodes relating to those mental health issues looks like for individual alters, all unhealthy coping mechanisms and which alters engage in them, alters primary roles/jobs and how they identify, any personal issues they may have whether its episodes or just general issues, and fun facts. Information I'd like to include in a future remake: how alters feel about themselves and other alters, the specific time frames alters percieve/the trauma they carry, where alters primarily front, known triggers. I personally reserve my powerpoint for professionals, my partner, and trusted friends. this level of detail is highly triggering and not necessary for system mapping but it is an option if you are able to do it.

other discussed ideas for system mapping/ones i can think of right now: Visual novel, coding, making figurines, knitting/crochet, creating a literal map, collages, pinterest boards, playlists, using objects to represent alters, word clouds, friendship bracelets, masks, videos, voice memos

and that's all i can remember right now! please let me know how you personally map out your system and if theres anything youd do differently <3

I dont feel like fixing formatting errors because tired I hope this is helpful

[marlsswrites]

you're absolutely disgusting for glorifying fascist characters

james married lily and they would both vomit at the idea of being anything close to friendly with a death eater

Okay this is so stupid but I feel like I should speak up about this because it is HORRENDOUS.

Also really? An anonymous hate comment? Thats just sad, if you’re going to be hater at least have the guts to say it to my face.

I actually laughed when this came into my inbox. They are wizards! Fictional wizards, to clarify. We know next to nothing about regulus, james or lily! So, if i want to make a post about jegulus, i will make a fucking post about jegulus.

You can’t go around calling people fascists just because you dont agree with their opinion, it is so childish and it takes the meaning from the word.

I respect everyones opinions, you dont like jegulus? Thats fine, i respect that. You ship jegulily? Cool, I don’t massively ship it but id never hate on someone who does. You ship jily? Yay, me too! So how about you send a prompt to my inbox and ask me to write a jily oneshot, you dont need to flood my inbox with stupid hate while being anonymous! If you really want to say something, you wouldnt do it anonymously.

There is so much to this fandom, so many headcanons and so so many opinions. And everyone has the right to their opinion, I really dont give a shit that you dont like jegulus, but calling me a fascist is just so pointless.

How on earth do you want me to react? “Sorry, I will stop shipping the couple that have offered me comfort on a daily!” Or “oh wow, you’re being pointlessly stupid, that is such a good point!”

No, because at the end of the day, no one reacts like that. No one will listen to you if you act like that! If you dont support me for liking jegulus, get off my page, honest to god. If you dont like jegulus but you like wolfstar, just skip the jegulus content. Its so easy!

If you want less jegulus content on your feed, maybe stop actively searching for jegulus creators to hate on?

Jegulus brings me so much comfort, if im having a bad day I can just do some writing, or make a video, or read some more of the fanfic i was in the middle of. And you are calling me a fascist simply because i seek comfort in a couple of fictional wizards? Just let people be happy, it really isn’t difficult. And if you cant understand that, you really shouldnt be commenting on it, because you are obviously uneducated and not mature enough to be saying and speaking up about things like that.

I am literally just a another human trying to have some fun and find happiness in the things that I love, and you are some random person online who clearly only finds joy in trying (and failing) to make people feel like shit, get a life. And again, if you have a problem with this post, please DNI, hate is not wanted and is really not needed.

Anyway im off to write some more gay fanfiction about said ‘fascists’, bye!! 🫡

[dreamerwitches]

RIGHT! I'm going to judge everyone with their doppel choices!!! Get ready for long post

In all seriousness, you're entitled to your own opinions and this is just a bit of fun. I'm genuinely interested to see the most popular doppels and I KNOW there are no set rules for the votes as the account has stated so peoples choices may be for gameplay etc etc. So, no meanness, right? It's all in jest (m-mostly...)

Giovanna time! I agree very muchee, I'm not a big fan of swimsuit Giovanna. Yeah she's cute but I dunno I just don't like the sail and that's such a big part of it. I understand why og and anime are equal cause anime Giovanna was FIRE and the new take on it in-game works well. Og deserves well because duh, its the og and anime deserves well too cause it's on par. But Infinite Giovanna ough, left the girls in the dust. Beautiful colours, beautiful combination of Giovanna and Shitori Egumo. She's beautiful and she knows it!

The first disagreement. Tanabata Campanella falls into the 'its too busy i dont have a clue whats going on and thats not a good thing' camp for me. Yes the colours are pretty but damn there's too much going on. And the colours on her spine bit are way too much overall. I get it but it's not for me. I'm glad my choice is second though. Historia Campanella is.... is not Campanella that's the eiffel tower and anime Campanella is just ugly. They removed the lantern which is such a good part of the og. the hint of red works so well and the ugly four shoes are a) large and ugly and b) dont fucking fit! The only thing i like is the hat but do i like it more than og? Not really, its on par

Alright THIS is my first 'um hello, what are you guys doing?' Tiracchana is awful, what are you on? I definitely feel the magis are affecting choice here cause I know Yuna is popular. I'm sorry but her doppel is shit. So ugly and such a mishmash of bad aspects. I'm sad Merkava is so low in comparison cause her theming is cool and she actually looks good. Done dirty... But like, how the fuck is halifax winning? She's just a fucking guillotine for petes sake... Im not a fan because it irks me but come on this is not the best design. Lakehurst done dirty waaa... she's such a cool mix of animal and machine and she works so well. Not too busy and has a clear theme. I suppose the only thing that isnt so great is the tongue since its colour sticks out so much. Very disappointed in everyone...

W-Why none of y'all like Marguerite?? What's she done wrong?! She'd be my second choice. I think Cuauhtitlan is fine but I struggle judging her since Im not knowledgable on the culture. But she does look very nice and the colours are good. I like Marguerite for her kinda castle/tank-y feel. The colours are nice and the structure is interesting! She kinda falls into 'this doesnt look like a witch and moreso an object' bracket but its not that bad... im so sad she's unpopular... Now im surprised at Halomonas. Its just boring man... and she's definitely 'this doesnt look like a witch and moreso an object'. Just nothing in it is particularly fun or cool, I just find her so boring. I suppose Alexandra's integration is good though, but otherwise... Unbased. But I'm very happy with Vlastenske! I looooove clowns!!! And she's super creepy and fun! You should be winning, sweetie

Sigh. Hepialidae is shit, what are you on? Moths are so important to the theme and story magireco and yet this rando has a moth witch? It's so out of left field and doesnt suit her theme as far as I know. I wanted her to be a vampire witch so bad back in the day... The colours are ruined by the leg parts too. Like hello? Where do those ugly purples and greens come from?! I suppose Kushu's integration is nice though. I understand Henrietta's low score. She falls into the object category but at least she's pretty. Sad about Don Rocinante though... I get she is a little boring but I do have metal bias... (looking at my fave Gisela... ) But compared to the others I still think she should be higher And man, I know Konomi is popular but... it... it's just flowers... c'mon...

Yeah, shitty magirepo deserves to be last... I think all (not you rena-chan) are very good here and deserve to be equal. A little surprised Elfriede is lower... I suppose her theme is a little all over the place... the fingers at the bottom kinda come out of nowhere and the head is a little out of place. Cendrillon is very good but feels a tad like a number of things patched together. I think the neck and headpiece could be improved. I must admit I have a bias for Zola as Ive rather fallen in love with her (heehee oops!) I think she's so spooky and cool and the colours are great! It was kinda hard to choose out of three great doppels Oh uh, Cendrillon-chan... I forgot you were there... yeah Magirepo doppels are just lazy and awful, NEXT!

Kogetsu winning as she should be... im furious the shitty Blot is not losing though... Komatsu falls into the mishmash category and there's a little too much going on. I wish she was more insect-like. I love Kogetsu though, the dragon is super cool as well as Chizuru's integration. It's just so satisfying to have such a circular silhouette too, she pulls it off well. Drekka Minni... sigh... does not deserve to be second. ITS A FUCKING BOAT. The only part I like is the dragon head but even then it doesnt fit in with ANYTHING else on the witch. I can barely even call her a witch... ugh... Oh and dear sweet Blot. Her witch is pretty good! But the doppel... The doppel is like 1/6th of the witch and they didnt even choose a good bit. Ugly, boring, lazy, and Gunhild has a shit utilisation. If you voted for her we are not friends.

Cassandra deserves to be first for sure and I totally see why Vimala is low. Im not a big fan of Apebis but the design is still pretty good, deserves to be high. I see why Vimala is unpopular as she really just looks like an object. A very pretty object but just an object. Everyone is pretty good here so Im glad most are pretty equal. Magatsu is spooky and cool and so is Cassandra. Maybe they can be spooky gfs from across time

What do you fucking mean no one likes Gosirsa??!! I'm mad Oaji is high hissssss Tara is very pretty and I love a Yokai cameo but she's a little too busy for my liking. Oaji.... Oaji is an object c'moooonnn... she's way too simple why is she top??? There are aspects I like like the reflection and stark red but not enough there. Marita is beautiful so im glad she's at least second. The theme is creepy and the colours are so pretty. But why no love for Gosirsa?! She's teetering on mishmash but I dont think she's that bad! The colours are nice and I love the mechanical bull theme! I get the wheels look a bit weird and not great but that's only one part... Poor girl...

No Aztekium love... yeah, she's not great... the cactus rail gun is not made very well. It's just two objects splortched together... Glad Abigail is high cause she's super fun. Nice colours and fun theme. I'm surprised 9daime is so high since she kinda falls into mishmash... at least the colour scheme is pretty good. I dont like how most of the pieces just don't really go together. Makes sense that Oxford is second cause this isnt a very strong bunch. I hate Miyuri's shitty feet theme but at least Oxford has nice colours and although the legs are busy, I think its pretty okay and the mass of patterns are fun.

WHAT ARE YOU ON JING IS BEAUTIFUL!!! Very unbased. I think the magi chose this one... >:( But... most of these are pretty good... but that doesnt mean Jing can be so low! Catacombe is very cool and has a good overarching theme and colour scheme. Im not so fond cause her colours are a little drab. I think Totentaz is a little boring, not enough going on I suppose and I dont think the wispy arms work. Otherwise she's fine, pretty but a little boring. But mannnnn Jing is so beautiful! I dont understand... the Chinese opera theme is BEAUTIFUL! I love her flowers and the trailing parts and how creepy she is when you look close... sigh... Casuarius is my least favourite here. Dunno, just don't get with her. The colours are very good and I love the symmetry and how Mikage is framed but I don't know if I like how the head part is put together, feels a little like separate things smooshed together without much thought.

When I first voted Frederica was so high and I was SO mad. She's awful, one of the most boring witches. It's just eyes and a jpeg of flowers man... I'm so glad she's at the bottom now. I like the patterns of Hevelius but she is just a lump so I get why she's low. Etteilla is super pretty but I definitely prefer her witch. She's on equal par to Gibdaughter to me. I only chose her cause of my silly metal bias :)c heehee I love Gibdaughter, the metal punk bird is great and I love Kanae's unique hood. These two deserve to be equal

This was a hard pick between ED Catacombe and Totentaz. The first two definitely fall into 'too detailed' for me. Like, man, look at Catacombe she has a whole party going on on her. Dunno if Elfriede deserves to be so low but they're all good. I like her pumpkin theme. I only chose Catacombe because Im not so fond of Totentaz. Does she deserve to be so high..? Eh, no... I think she's only so popular because she's the one that hurts your eyes the least. I think she's good, I LOVE the head cage thing but her bone scythe is too ugly and lumpy looking. I know ED Catacombe does look a little silly with her Papyrus Undertale skulls but I just love the colours and theme. She just works better for me.

These are all pretty equal to me, no idea why Nenemu is so low. Do people just not like Nemu lol? Nolde is pretty, love her colours and matchstick theme. So is Nenemu though I get that she feels a little more busy. I love the eye hands and head, she's more spooky. I dont think Shitori Egumo deserves to be so high. She's nowhere near as cool as her witch but she's still good. Maybe my least favourite? But otherwise they're still pretty on par. I chose Sukhavati because I love her patterns, especially when she opens up. It's a bit of a disservice not showing that aspect. Plus I love a rafflesia lol

Hmmmmmm. You want some controversy? Charlotte's doppel isnt that good guys. You know what the best part of Charlotte is? Her face. Her eyes and her huge mouth. And here..? Um... tiny mouth and no eyes. They took away her best parts! So sorry not sorry she isn't that good. Doppel Oktavia is way too stout for me. Why did they make her so fat? (not fatshaming at all, a plus sized oktavia would be beautiful but she usually isnt) Her head is so iconic why did they remove it and totally change her visor? I just think they ruined such a good witch. And Candeloro absolutely does not use enough of the witch. Its so painful cause I love Candeloro and Mami... She does not need to be that small and insignificant. I chose Ophelia cause um, the witch is actually there!! And I think the horse utilisation is actually smart! This definitely looks more like a witch popularity contest and no one actually looked at the doppels...

Ehh... swimsuit doppels are hard... They're just always so... busy... Meh... Why does no one like Ophelia though??? You're lame... Oktavia is fine. I like the surfboard and colours. I think the different kind of fish is cool but she barely looks like Oktavia anymore... Swimsuit Candeloro is pretty and has nice colours but MAN its way too busy. Swimsuit Ophelia is a bit all over the place. Some colours dont fit in and the turtle looks kinda bad. Swimsuit Charlotte is probably my second fave cause the colours are nice and the mishmash theme kinda suits her but man, some of the pieces look so out of place. Stick with a consistent art style...

Why is Luca so high? Egh... I think Luca's shape is overall so ugly and not good looking. The decorations a kinda okay but way too messy to see what you're looking at. I find her so hard to judge cause I know there's a deeper meaning I dont quite get so she's always on the fence for me. Im a Breadman hater. Why is she so unique? Why is she separate to Sudachi? What makes you so special??!! Too weird, feels like they're trying too hard to be cute. Gothel is pretty. Love the colours and the rapunzel spin. And I love me a set of ribs!! Valentines Breadman is a little better to me, I think a mishmash really suits the chocolate theme. Should be higher than regular Breadman.

Naomi is one of the first doppels I saw so maybe im biased lol. Broiderie is too grey and complex for me. But otherwise she's very beautiful and suits the mushroom theme very well. Not a fan of her weird foot though. Sigh... Heide Jekyll (shit name). I get it, I really do. But you could have made the design better!!! I know its a sensitive topic but you've still gotta make something that looks good! Naomi is beautiful, beautiful colours, I love the dual heads and stark red between the bodies. I kinda wish the arms matched the rest more but otherwise a clear winner. Yeah, Ganni deserves to be last. It's just a helmet man... A very beautiful helmet but just a helmet.

Theresia at the top like she deserves! I LOVE how awful and grotesque she is! You go girl! Go torture someone! Yu Hong is good but a little boring to me. Wish there was more than just the balloon. Beatrice is very good but I kinda hate the bright purple and fleshy pink. Ouch that hurts the eyes. She's a little tooo weird for me (not a good overarching theme) but I like how grotesque she is (wow second time saying that, gross girls forever!) Also how was I today days old when I realised Beatrice-chan is differently coloured... fake fan... but still not great... Theresia sweep is deserved.

Hrrnngghhhh Old Dorothy isn't that good guys.... It's just a bunch of circles c'mon... and the Nightmare-esque creature is so out of place. Why does she have it? You know, the things Homura made in her isolation field? Eh... Sad McDougal is so low, she was my second choice. How dare you put her next to the shite that is Hund Balou. But... she isn't great... very object-y and what is going on with that pink thing? I think Im biased cause i love her magical witch. Winchester is a great translation of the witch. Love her, no notes (well...) Only critique is that the colours are boring but that's obviously her shtick. Hund Balou... is like one of the only doppels that just look so badly drawn. The hands are awful, the hair is awful and the headpiece looks stuck on. BUT... the colours are very pretty and I love her dress. Oh and Hanna's utilisation is so unbearably lazy.

This was kinda a battle of the worst for me... Only chose Winchester cause I like main Winchester. Old Dorothy is too busy, Yu Hong is just green with barely any additions, Cuauhitlan is WAY WAY too busy (but aside from the centre she is very pretty). Man, no one served at this party...

Huh, another battle of the worst... Can we please not have a variant doppel that is unbearably busy? I chose Oktavia cause her colours are really pretty as well as the additions. But... w-why is she fat again??!! (see before, nothing wrong with large Oktavia but she... she isnt in the anime so where has this come from?!) Totentaz is finneeee... but its just a little boring... The green is ugly and the arm bits detract too much from the rest of it. (though i like the repeated red stripes). Tara is just WAY too busy and so is Henrietta. It's so hard to see what's going on... They are pretty but man... tone it down a bit!

I hate Carola so so much its unbelievable. Its such a bad doppel... I need the full description to tell you how awful she is. I am so passionate about how much I hate this doppel (this is from a wip doppel ranking)

Final Carola is... better... I wish this was her usual but im so weighed down by its previous shitness that I didnt vote for her... The colours are pretty and so are the patterns. Caterina isnt a win for me. I have no idea why she has a butterfly theme and I wish it was more like a book. Its beautiful... but not Umika. Im biased for Antonio cause I just think he's so cool???? It's... it's not Kaoru (like hello?? Where is the football theme?) but I just like him aaaa... this was kinda another battle of the worst. I think Final Carola is the best here. (Kazumi Magica you deserve so much betterrrr)

I LOVE SYLVIIIEEEEE! :) ah, where were we... Im very on the fence with Vayu. My opinion changes every time I look at her... I like the shape and the utilisation of Shizuku makes sense but Im not so sure about the colours and the uhhh bag head..? Doesnt make sense to me. Her main witch works so much better. Gela is high for me cause I love cloowwnnnsss! Just kinda wish she wasn't 60% huge beige bag. Love a dual jester hat and two faces but the colours juusstt dont match so well. Tongue and wings dont work so great with everything as a whole. Mmmm heehee Sylvie!!!! I love wind up monkeys, I love maids, I love body horror, I love purple... hello? This diva has no flaawwssss! Why is Paparazzo so high.... its pretty lame... The colours are alright and I love the repeated circles theme but eh the camera body isnt doing it for me. And the eyes feel a little lazy. She's just a little lazy overall...

Forget battle of the worst this is battle of the best! A-and Kriemhild-senpai... Doppel Kriemhild is sooo good... it is a total shame she kinda isnt Kriemhild but a Portable reference wins brownie points in Kit's book! Original is great! No notes. Swimsuit is also very good but it wasnt the winner for me cause she is just a liiiiittle too busy... otherwise the colours are GORGEOUS and she is very good. Haregi Kriemhild is also so beautiful. I think the green is integrated well (they could have fluked that so easily) and the circular background works so well with her overall. Deserves to be on par with the other two, not that low :( And uh Kriemhild-senpai..? Oh look, we've run out of time!

Hrrnnnnnn...... okay Homulilly is great, very good interpretation of Portable Homulilly. Only gripe is that she's kinda one-note on colours. She could've used the red of Portable homu. Now... guys... cool Homulilly isnt that good... Rebellion Homulilly is such a good design and what did they use here?.... oh... oh uh... n-nothing... Where's the spider lily? Where's the gramophone? WHERES THE SKELETON?! It just doesnt do it for me, champ (and i know, this isnt specifically Rebellion Homulilly but c'mon! They were going there with everything else, why not go the whole way!) I think the Lotte are way too busy, if you were gonna do the Clara Dolls, do the fucking Clara Dolls, you have ALL the assets for them! No, she does not deserve to be top y'all are liars and skanks Swimsuit Homulilly... COME ON THE COLOURS ARE LOVELY! This was before variant doppels were stuffed to their britches with too much shit. She's so cute, I love the contrast of the blue and the cute spotty arms aarrghhh y'all are missing out... Haregi Homulilly is too busy and the colours are kinda wack. The 7 Gods of Fortune Lotte just don't work for me... it's too messy and ugly... very unbased here...

Wow that's all up to date! So? Did this make you hate me? I dont really mind lol Im half looking-forward-to, half nervous about what the rest of the results will be...

[utilitycaster]

Would LOVE that essay on combat in dnd because full agree. But not even just for people watching live play, like, combat is an essential feature of dnd as a game system and it endlessly frustrates me when i see dms be like “yeah combat is just too complicated and no fun so i dont do it in my game :)!” Like i guess thats your right, but any non-caster class is gonna be miserable in your game. I saw a video recently talking about how dnd has kind of become the default ttrpg and is marketed as the perfect system for everyone and any style of play which is just. So not true. Combat in dnd is equally as integral as roleplay is and theres really no argument otherwise. Very valid if you hate dnd combat, it sure isnt for everyone, but in that case maybe play a different ttrpg where the characters arent constructed around combat abilities, i promise you’ll have more fun.

So this is one of those things that touches on maybe 99% of my feelings on Experiencing Fiction in general and actual play in particular; I apologize in advance for the length and digressions within this response.

Here are the reasons I have seen or I surmise why people don’t like D&D combat, either in actual play or in home games:

It can get crunchy and involves a lot of rules

There are long stretches in which individuals do not necessarily act (not exclusive to combat but I think this is a factor)

It contains violence

There is a potential for character death

Now, it’s fine if you aren’t interested in D&D-style combat, for whatever reason, when you play ttrpgs. It’s just that this is a core feature of D&D. As you say, this is what the martial classes are structured around - and, frankly, no small number of casting classes/subclasses as well. By avoiding it when you play D&D, you’re avoiding the bulk of the game, and there are plenty of ttrpgs that permit open RP that aren’t combat focused that would probably fit your needs better (eg: PbtA and Savage Worlds are both generic systems that can support a heroic fantasy like D&D without the emphasis on combat skills). I happen to love and prefer D&D, but that is specifically because I love combat, and yeah, there are other games and people should seek out those games if they don’t like combat.

When it comes to D&D actual play though…skipping combat is just straight-up stupid. And to be clear I mean fully skipping it and not watching it at all; while this is piggybacking off my post about spoilers, it’s fine if you are the sort of person who needs to know how combat ends in order to enjoy it! That’s just a personal preference that I respect even if I don’t share it.

D&D combat isn’t just an inherent part of the game; it’s an inherent part of the story. The idea of D&D being split into combat and RP is a false dichotomy. There is RP and crucial story within combat scenes, and you simply do not achieve the same effects by reading an after-the-fact summary. To use examples from Critical Role, consider one of the most famous RP moments from Campaign 1, when Scanlan uses his 9th level counterspell in the Vecna fight. The weight of that moment derives from mechanics and from the fact that it is in the midst of combat and well into a climatic final battle. Or for lighter examples, there’s a ton of Beau/Yasha and Fjord/Jester mid-combat flirting running through much of Campaign 2 that informs those relationships. Molly’s death? Caleb going into a fugue state when he kills humanoids with fire? Yasha destroying Obann? Fjord dying mid-deep scion fight? Those are all moments that have deep character weight and meaning that are within the context of combat, and you cannot divorce them from that context and hope to retain the same effect.

This is what dovetails into a larger discussion of Experiencing Fiction which is a (in my opinion) worrying tendency among some people to truly believe that you can cut up media into the palatable bits and pieces and push all of what you see as icky vegetables to the side of your plate. I fucking hate this. I think it’s what drives a lot of things including a distaste for combat. This is how you get, for example, people who dislike combat because Violence And Death Bad, which, do I think that in the real world violence is most often a thing to be avoided? Do I think that in the real world death is heartbreaking? Yes, but this is fiction. There’s that great Brennan Lee Mulligan quote about how TTRPGs like D&D allow people who usually must be conflict-avoidant in real life to let out their anger and frustration in a place where it is safe and harmless, and I believe that whole-heartedly. I want stories about death because I want to know I'm not alone in how I feel about death. I want stories in which people can express their rage in ways both healthy and unhealthy, because big same. (I also think it’s absolutely not coincidental that people who believe they are ‘protecting’ people by circumscribing what is acceptable in fiction tend to be strongly associated with either bigoted, violent policies in real life, or harassment and doxxing online; maybe enjoy a fucked up movie, as John Waters once said, and you'll calm down.)

This idea that you can cut up media and only consume what you like is also what I think is behind some of the really ill-considered and overly granular timestamped content warnings I’ve mentioned previously. It is fine if there are things you don’t want to watch or which will be upsetting or even triggering to watch! It’s fine if you as an individual don’t like violence! But I think there’s a problem when people believe they are entitled to be able to watch whatever they want and have it mold to their exact wants and needs (and that it’s a failing if it doesn’t), rather than taking on the responsibility of seeking out media that already fits the bill. Actual Play D&D will nearly always have violent encounters. If this will be an issue this is not for you. It is not gatekeeping to say “you can come through this gate, but the gate is in fact here for your specifically requested protection"; and yet people think that instead, gates should be placed around everything else. So (to give an example) this is why the warnings for D20’s Neverafter strike me as a symptom of this larger problem - if you have discomfort with violence towards animals and children, that’s fine, but you are watching a D&D horror series in which over half the player characters are either animals or children. This is not something where you can skip a few seconds of a flashing gif that might be a migraine or seizure trigger, or a case where an exceptionally rough scene of gaslighting can be read instead of watched; this is inherent to the show, and if this is not for you, you need to go elsewhere.

To give one last example, I was looking for fanart for Worlds Beyond Number, and came across a picture of Suvi with a caption of “Suvi but without the imperialism” and like…Aabria has said in interviews that this engagement with the empire is extremely deliberate; that Suvi is intended to be tied into the political structures of this world as an intentional contrast with Eursulon’s status as an outsider and Ame’s role at the smaller, community level. Suvi without imperialism is not identifiable as the same character and it throws the entire story off-kilter; she is of this empire and that is the fucking point. Any story worth telling is not just items thrown haphazardly into a bowl; they are combined and mixed. Someone is giving you a plate of brownies and you are acting like it’s physically possible to take out the cocoa powder without fucking the end result, and buddy, it’s not.

(Truly, I was not joking when I said this is like, the load-bearing pillar of most of my complaints about fiction consumption patterns in general. This is about how people will deny the flaws in characters even though any reasonably intelligent ten-year-old, and I know because I fucking was one once, understands that person vs. themself is one of the core conflicts and overcoming one’s flaws is in many cases the entire story and if you start out perfect there is nothing to be said. Like…I think a lot of people genuinely just want to watch a nonstop Monterey Bay Otter Cam of their sufficiently sanitized, focus-group-tested blorbos baking cookies together, and are affronted when people with the tiniest sliver of empathy and/or curiosity want a story with plot and character growth, which in turn require conflict.)

Anyway. I think the takeaways here are that there’s this awful entitlement people have in which they think that they can simply consume anything and it is the failure of that media if it doesn’t cater specifically to them, rather than a failure of them to seek out that which they would enjoy (and I could go on this rant indefinitely; it is truly the most constant theme among Takes I Think Are Dumb); and also I really want to bake something right now, given my choices of metaphor. Combat is part of D&D as a game and as a storytelling medium, and it is incumbent upon people who do not like combat to find something that doesn’t have D&D combat, rather than try to pull out the vital organs of the story.

[morganalefae]

s3 morgana being "beyond redemption" is soooooo crazy to me like yeah trying to kill the evil tyrant king whos been murdering every last one of your kind is sooooo evil lock her up and throw away the key!!

such a prime example of a kick the dog character too. like they cant condemn her for just fighting for her right to exist so they have her executing civilians and trying to have gwen executed to make her into the villian.

and! the same goes for morgause! literally what did she ever do wrong? uther conquered camelot (said by him in the episode where gili fights in the tournament) and then executed hundreds if not thousands of people with magic but morgause trying to kill the king is a step too far? why? its almost like the show is actually on uthers side 🤨🤨🤨🤨

which leads me to: the fact that we essentially watch the entire show through the pendragon perspective. merlin protects arthur so everything we learn about the purge and magic and the old religion is from uther/gaius. so, biased, to say the least. one of the most important things they tell you when researching history is to consider where your information is coming from and how that persons perspective influences their discussion of it.

which is why i also dont consider nimueh to be a villain. shes an activist! yeah she tried to kill arthur that one (?) time but he didnt even die so. doesnt count <3 but we SEE her having a conversation ALONE with uther where she says she didnt know what would happen to ygraine and i just cant imagine why she would lie. if she really wanted to hurt him she could have said she'd known and killed her on purpose but i dont think thats the case at all. she says she never would have helped him if she'd known what would happen. like, surprise, if you hunt and kill people for the crime of existing they will fight back and its not going to be the way you like it and innocent people will die. because thats war. you ruthlessly slaughter her people and she will slaughter yours.

worlds most unstructered post. professors hate her. anyway the show eventually starts to take on a very firm, "merlin has magic but ues not LIKE those other magic users therefore hes ok :) everyone else is evil tho. except the druids (sometimes :|)", whereby merlin using magic is only allowed if hes helping or saving arthur (except all those other times but we dont talk about those i guess) and his stance on magic eventually warps until hes just kind of horrible about it.

100% unpopular opinion but gaius should have died in s2 or 3. he influenced merlin far too much and basically never for the better. sorry to gaius lovers but i do NOT like that old man. he advises merlin EVERY time to not tell morgana about her magic (which she has no control over and therefore is manifesting in ways that will absolutely get her caught), to never help any of the unfairly persecuted people of the episode or even to use magic at all. hes a bootlicking coward who only helped people he cared for or when it suited him. how many people do you think he watched burn simply because he didnt agree with the way they used magic, whether it actually "evil" or not.

merlin's only friends who know about his magic are an old conservative man and a guy who dies right when merlin could have used the support of someone to help him "come out" to arthur about his magic.

im firmly of the opinion that had he told morgana about his magic everything would have been literally fine. because alone and with loterally no support system at all, is it any wonder that morgana would go down the road she did? after years of fear and watching people just like her be burned for the crime of existing, with no prophecy or friends to tell her that it wont always be this way. you dont have to be afraid because youre not the only one and i wont let anything happen to you. oh wait. she did get told that. by MORGAUSE. not about the prophecy but how can they be judged by trying to bring about change by themselves. by trying to kill a king whos killed so many of their own people.

if the intention of the show had been to give a poignant message about the cycle of abuse (morgana succumbing to bitterness and hatred just like uther) or how fear can control you (merlin eventually becoming essentially the bad guy, judging everybody who doesnt use magic the way he sees fit, staying silent and contributing to persecution of magic people because living in fear can make you paranoid and bitter (sound familiar?)) then i would applaud because wow did that make me fucking cry! and hit actually very close to home! and it was tragic and horrible but also inevitable

but as far as i can tell that was not at all the point, because in the end kilgharrah tells merlin the prophecy has been fulfilled, albion is united and magic returned! hurrah! but. um. did i miss something? when did that happen? oh, you mean when gwen is queen....? so.... gwen unites the land of albion and returns magic to the land? except, merlin seems to have lived on until the 21st century of our world and magic is not what i would call flourishing atm.

so i guess my question is... well actually i dont have a question. actually wait i do. what the fuck?

[ganeshpnf]

heyyyyy! i see a lot of criticism on wottg lately and i think they are sooo right. what's your opinion on wottg?

Hmm I already shared a bit of my thoughts about it but who am I to hurt you? Im just gonna rant again and more detailed I guess XD

First of all, I was soo confused by how rushed it was. You can even tell it by the title names. The book felt like it was written in one night. The mistakes also proves it. Editor was asleep? I dont know. Rick is just too old? I dont know. The worst of all, Rick doesnt care enough to put efford anymore? I still dont know, but it sure feels like it. Leo is treated like he is fine and daisy, Clovis being Morpheus's son, weird huge typo mistakes...

Not to mention characters were so ooc. And no Im not talking about: Annabeth threw a party, thats so ooc. I think she was so in character for that one. In fact, that part was my favourite in the book. It was good to remember her rebellious side after show messed her up with her goody two shoes personality. The real issue was Annabeth's and Percy's dynamics felt like they had 0 development in pjo. Wdym that girl is suprised when Percy comforts her? I just read SOM and I can pull so many scenes of Percy comforting her. Wdym Annabeth is fucking surprised when Percy acts all smart? How old they are? 12? (I suggest reading @lilislegacy s criticism for this parts, it was more detailed and so right!)

Its so obvious that Rick wrote this book when he was working on the show and wanted to merge them both together, which is soo wrong in my opinion. Look I like show actors, they are fine with the tv show. But they are NOT the book characters, they are actors. Walker is not Percy Jackson, he is the actor of him in the show. Leah is not Annabeth Chase, she is the actor of her in the show. Aryan is not Grover, he is actor of him in the show. I think Rick and some fans tbh, dont understand this fact. I love them and they deserve to be shine in the big screen, but books should stay books. When we open the book, we should see the book characters, not them. Book canon and show canon should never be together. Because no, they are not the same and would never be. Rick spent this whole book on advertasing his tv show and it was too cringe. Olympus+? Really Rick?

One of the weird thing was also adding Chiron's injury. I was confused bcs like I was sure Percy rode on him before and I know he would notice this. Its just makes 0 sense.

Were they good stuff? Yes, trio's scenes in general werr adorable. Seeing old campers again also. But I want to add that Rick lost a big chance to make this book shine. Where is Jason? Even mention of him would be a big hit, imagine him in that party. I know even with these mistakes, this book would be a hit. Also so many fans wanted this Idk why he didn't go for it.

I like Rick, even though he makes me so angry with this kind of stuff. He gave me a perfect childhood with this characters. But that doesnt mean I have to agree with his every decision and support him no matter what. Idk if he is getting old or anything but this book was just a fanfiction. And not a good fanfiction because I know I see so many better written fanfictions. I hope he fixes his mistakes in the next book because I am still hopeful, even though I am a bit scared. I still want the next book soo bad. Wishing it would be more like Chalice you know :)

Oh and before I finish it, I am forever mad for him mixing Annabeth's lemon shampoo!!! I'm sorry but that was special to me. Apple shampoo? Wdym usual apple shampoo? Someone need to fix this typo mistakes!

Thank you for your ask anon :)

[spacedlexi]

A little while ago you said that you have nuanced feelings on Clem x Louis, and I think that’s how I’d describe my opinion on the ship as well. I was just wondering, what makes you feel that way? Personally, I think they’re romance scenes are cute and sweet, but the whole situation with Marlon makes me unable to see them as anything other than friends. I think they both mean a lot to each other, but the idea that they’d want to date so soon after that whole ordeal’s a bit of a stretch to me.

putting this under a read more so if anyone even Thinks they might get upset about mild louis opinions they can move on and stay happy. seriously people take this stuff too seriously sometimes and i dont want to stir anyone up but also im allowed to have my own opinions OKAY. none of this means i dont like him or them OKAY??

okay

thats pretty much where my opinions are too

the stuff with marlon and the vote is Definitely the biggest thing that influences my opinion about their romance. i always forget just how Cruel he is in EP2 😭 like im on your side dude what aj did was wrong can we just talk about this 😭 but he votes to kick them out. like his reaction about marlon doesnt bother me, its his insistence on kicking them out that does 😔 my clem will always forgive him for it, i believe him when he says he regrets it, but its gonna take some time for trust to build again. for both of them

having only one scene between his apology and the lock in was just not gonna happen for my clem. she was mad at him for it. aj almost died because of it. she might be doing better now but she still has trust issues and her trust was broken just as much as his was. he was fine with never seeing her again, sending her and aj out to their deaths because he struggled to accept his confused feelings about marlon. that pissed my clem off shdfksd she is barely keeping this child alive let alone herself. her face when ajs kicking the wall bro she was like "its so fucking over" 😭 cmon bro look at her shes dead inside have some compassion. and he still hits her with the "i dont know [if i want you to stay]" even after aj gets shot like cmon man...... Cmon.........

and while shes waiting for louis to finally be ready to talk about what happened with marlon (which my clem apologizes for in the dorm, she does genuinely feel bad about it), her and violet are only growing closer, focusing on preparing the school together for the bigger problem. clem knowing vi has her back is a huge source of relief in everything thats going on, and that means a Lot for my clem, who appreciates the idea of having a partner she can rely on. my clem is already sure of her feelings for vi by the time louis apologizes. but she appreciates his apology, and is looking forward to being friends again, because she did genuinely appreciate his friendship at the beginning. but her heart was really truly Broken about everything with marlon and the vote and i think thats gonna take more time to heal. depending on player choice some clems might not even forgive him (some others might say he was right and that clem didnt stop it but... i do not agree with that.. like how could she have... aasim calls mitch a hypocrite for saying the same thing)

the other less important thing is just his general blasé attitude. my clem takes things seriously, but that doesnt mean she doesnt know how to have fun. she Wants to. she just Cant. she has a child to take care of first, and she cares about the survival of the group. its why my clem is looking for someone she knows she can rely on. she never wanted any of this, and she just wants a little support, someone to help take the weight off so she CAN relax. shes so tired 😭. playing with louis while aasim hunts by himself made me feel Dirty 💀 (i literally couldnt do it the first time i felt so bad AASIM WAIT UP). and while i can understand and appreciate his "there might not be a tomorrow so enjoy today" outlook, it cant come at the expense of the group. louis i feel eventually learns this, finding a balance between the two, and Becomes someone clem can rely on. but his change doesnt begin until like.. after the raiders take everyone (because we have to get through the marlon stuff first). and if you save vi, you dont get to see any of it 😔

the thing about these two problems is that, if you were to take them out of this setting and throw them in like, a modern au, suddenly these are not issues anymore. no more life or death. the stakes are a lot lower. so i can see them dating in that scenario and having fun together. they do have cute moments!! but also due to less stakes, theres less to motivate louis to change. and i think they would fundamentally just not click on their worldviews. clem while she can have fun, ultimately takes things seriously, and louis doesnt. that doesnt mean they dont care about each other, and clem definitely appreciates his energy, but its why i see them still ending up as friends instead of romantic partners (esp if vi is around IM SORRY 😭 they just Click too well for me 😔 this is why my messy au exists 💀)

i also understand this is mostly personal preference and some people might like them for these reasons 😭 but the dynamic that they have i prefer as friends personally. theyre supportive of each other and deeply care about each other, just not romantically imo. especially not after the stuff with marlon. and thats ok!!!! i see it a lot like louis' relationship with vi. not romantic. but they Love each other regardless. honestly the reason why i like clem vi and louis as a trio so much is that clem slots between them really well. louis who doesnt take anything seriously, and vi who takes things Too seriously. clem exists between them. knowing having fun is important but also understanding the weight of responsibility. she helps louis become more responsible, and she helps vi chill the fuck out. she brings balance :)

i will say tho louis' "nothing wrong with short and sweet, right?" line was cute he got me there

[navy-leader]

AH. Idk if my ask went through so, I’ll just ask again in case. I don’t remember how much you care about Chosen and the Dark Lord as a dynamic, but I’m not an expert on them and you seemed to post about them quite a bit SO. May as well ask for your opinion. I can’t send links in anonymous asks, but Sweet Hangman by Elliotly to me feels like a song from the Dark Lord’s perspective about Chosen.

I care about them a whole lot and GOOD LORD does that song fit my intepretation of Dark very well

To me, theyre a pair of overpowered ultraviolent codependent freaks who had zero socialization outside of eachother. They had nothing but eachother for years and even so theyve yet to learn a lot about eachother. They know goddamn near everything about eachother, their little quirks, their icks, their fears, their violent moments, but they never really grow as people just by being with eachother. They dont agree on everything, in fact they disagree quite often and those disagreements often end in violent fights, theyre both godawful at communication and arguments often devolve into fists, but they cool down at the end and move on with their day, its just how they worked with eachother. They got a lot of issues tangled in each of themselves and the other party isn't very well equipped to untangle them so things just stay tangled or get even more tangled. They consider eachother their best friend, no one else in the world gets them because they've never gone out much into the rest of the world, they dont let people in easily, and their social skills are so fucking shot.

Now individually, Dark has a tendency to follow and serve people even if she doesnt realize that herself, she was created with a purpose and followed that purpose until it got her cornered and ever since Chosen took her hand shes just been following and doing what Chosen was doing, and she didnt really realize Chosen's change of heart and thought that he was just being a gloomy weirdo and pulling away from her for no reason so she tried to earn back his affections by planning to destroy the rest of the internet. Because thats what Chosen wouldve wanted, right?

Chosen is a gloomy weirdo who has trouble empathizing and has a tendency to be in his own head too much, he does genuinely care about Dark its just that he doesnt really see what she actually needs and doesnt really think of himself of any importance to have his actions have an impact on others. When he realized the destruction he created with Dark was going too far he hadnt thought to really communicate that to Dark because he just assumed that Dark would get it, because theyve always went off the little clues they get from the other instead of saying anything directly, so itll be fine, right?

Anyways the entirety of AvA 5 was just a gigantic lack of communication and misunderstanding and Dark had created the virabots and plan to destroy AlansPC with Chosen in mind but turns out Chosen wasnt cool with that!! And of course like every other time they disagree they Fight instead of communicating like well socialized people 😭

And god id talk more but this is getting too long jahdgjw. Thank you for the ask!!!!

[huellitaa]

𖹭𓂃 ࣪˖ saying no

something ive struggled with for pretty much my entire life 😭

𐙚๋࣭ people pleasing:

a person who consistently strives to please others, often sacrificing their own wants or needs in the process.

trouble with saying no to people often comes from insecurity. when you feel bullied into things or backed into a corner too often it can lead to agreeing with everything and anything just so people will like you.

1. take small steps

getting out of habits like this are not easy whatsoever and take lots of time. taking small steps to implement getting rid of people pleasing tendencies is the best way to go about this; for example, just blocking someone who bothers you and starting from there.

2. fake it till you make it !

confidence is something absolutely essential but not easy to attain; thats where this skill comes in handy. ive been doing this since i was little and i wont lie and say it melts into real confidence because it doesnt, its just a shield to hide behind until your are genuinely confident and id definitely recommend this 100% to anybody starting or struggling to try and break this habit. act like youre fine & unaffected in front of the people who put you in this position even if you arent. dont show your weaknesses when you know they can be used against you.

3. valuing yourself

value yourself over all else. you are the most important person in your life. validate, support, and value yourself. trust your judgement is right and prioritise the protection of your peace above all else because that is the most important thing.

4. body language

ok as a girl with an incredibly infuriating tendency to turn red over the tiniest thing i feel a little bit of a hypocrite writing this but this is very very very important. if you find yourself in a position where you feel unable to refuse something or anything of the sort you do not show that.

🩰 ─ even if your cheeks turn red act like they arent. ik its sosoosos embarrassing n ur screaming inside but act like its nothing. bcs it is nothing. ok so theres a tiny bit of colour in your cheeks. and? stand your ground.

🧸── back straight, shoulders high, face blank. you dont show anything on your face. show you are completely stubborn and set on your choice/opinion.

🎀 ── if they try to embarrass you or say smth what i do is i literally just blink at them like okay. i dont care. do whatever bro idgaf

5. no hesitation

for the love of god do not second guess yourself. if something makes you upset or uncomfy or anxious or anything like that you leave them you walk away from them you block them you do not second guess yourself and think "but what if" no idc. if it costs you your peace its too expensive.

6. does this help me?

ok obviously when i say to say no i dont mean to like everything. only to the things you do anyway even if you dont want to. if youre not sure what to do when faced with the option to do something you ideally wouldnt really want to the first question you should be asking yourself is "does this help me?" think of it only from your perspective and how it would help you. ask yourself if its really necessary and if its serving you in any way to do this. if its just to fit in with someone else even if you dont really want to then do it then dont do it. why isnt your own presence enough? your peace is the only priority you should have here. what would you tell someone you love in your position? think about it for a sec instead of panicking.

conclusion; people pleasing is useless. you are the centre of ur universe. your peace is the only priority. people are stupid. you can do this. dont let anyone make you feel less than you are. i love u 🫶🩷

[stormblessed95]

Addressing Everything

So by now, most of you have probably seen all the drama that is occurring for the past week. I've been aware of it since it started. I haven't said anything as I was hoping it would die down on its own, but that's clearly not happening.

Mrs-monaghan, along with a few others do not like me. She thinks I'm toxic, a bully, forcing people to agree with me or get blocked, etc. I don't regret my choice to block people when I block them, and I will continue to utilize the block button whenever I feel the need to. I will say that I am not blocking anyone for a difference of opinion. I'm blocking someone when I feel the need to remove their posts or comments from the content I consume on this site, my content is part of that consumption and interaction i have on here. I am a believer in curating your timeline to best fit you. That is what I'm using the block button for. I don't want to see hateful posts, I don't need people in my comments calling me names either for my opinion. I've always been willing to agree to disagree and a lot of the times, the comment section in my posts over more "controversial" topics shows that.

Alot has been claimed about me being different in DMs than I am on the timeline. I don't think that's true. I'm usually more willing to discuss things more in depth and have a more lengthy back and forth discussion over a topic in DMs than I am in an anon ask. But that is something I've also made clear in many of my posts. I also do generally curse more in my language as its vernacular that i use a lot in my daily life and ill have more typos/be less polished. Which I think is fair during a less formal conversation. I am also more than willing to post Screenshots of my DM history with Mrs-monaghan if anyone feels the need to see them since that has been a sticking point for her. I don't mind. I dont want to, but not because im worried about it, but because i didnt/dont feel the need to continually fan the flames of all of this or fight with her about it. She is entitled to not like me and i dont need to try to convince anyone otherwise.

I don't think anyone should be name calling when addressing another blogger and if the name wasn't intended to be derogatory, then it could be changed when making future comments about them, now that other people have gotten involved. I do think that should be said. Call me what you want, but if a mean idc about you nickname is derogatory in nature and it's not intended to be, maybe come up with something else. But honestly, none of this is really the point of my post here right now.

I've seen all the mean posts being made and sent in about me after I said I would start blocking people for shady posts against Tae (shady, not critical or questioning, but posts that were rude and mean in nature.) And honestly, that's fine. I cannot control what other people think or how they feel about me. They are all entitled to those opinions and feelings. I wont lie that i was a little surprised at some of the people who participated in these posts and signed off on them. But thats okay.

I did not and still do not want people going to her blog or any of the others who have said things to defend me or shame anyone in anyway. Losing followers if people believe their posts is okay. I've never been here for the numbers. I can't control what people do or say about me and I don't want to. If people end up not liking me because of that, that's honestly okay. I don't need people Bullying (in anyway you want to consider the word) anyone in defense of me. I don't appreciate that. If i get an ask and I answer it with my opinion and it disagrees with other peoples, that's where I want that to end. I don't need anyone telling other bloggers I'm right and they are wrong. It's all just opinions in the end. I've never wanted anyone to use my posts as a way to argue with other people. Everyone can choose to engage and interact with the content on here that they choose and how they choose to do so.

I do just want anyone else here to know that if I have offended or upset anyone on here, I am always willing to talk about it. My DMs have been open for that reason. I am willing to agree to disagree if that energy is also returned. I'm willing to bend on a lot honestly. I won't apologize for blocking the people who have been interacting with posts that are hateful to me or about how they don't like me. That is something I am doing for my own mental well being and safety. I don't need people who actively dislike me around me. And I think that is fair.

That's all. Just if anyone is making more posts or going to plan to send in asks, I'm asking you not to and to let it go. I don't need to change anyone's mind about me. They are free to not like me as much as they want. That's okay. I don't need anyone defending me.

Thank you for reading if you got this far. If you choose to unfollow, that's fair and totally up to you. I hope everyone has a good day.

[themoodyestj]

not the same anon, but I would like to answer that question. I don't believe, not even for a second that Danneel is above criticism. but I firmly believe that every living being deserves to be treated with a modicum of kindness and respect, just for the simple fact of being alive. don't you? us humans are capable of understanding our emotions and be empathic with others. yes, you are entitled to your opinion, free expression is a right, so you can hate Danneel and write all the bs that you want and that's fine. what is not ok is to dehumanize and insult her and then turn around and claim you do it out of love for Jensen. She is his wife and mother of his children; he chose her to share a life because he loves her. how do you think he would feel if he actually read your bs? how would you feel if somebody made a blog just to hate on your loved ones?

Hello dear anon,

Because you seem to use a decent ammount of respect, I'll use it back with you. Let's see if we can have an interesting back and forth here.

I don't believe, not even for a second that Danneel is above criticism. but I firmly believe that every living being deserves to be treated with a modicum of kindness and respect, just for the simple fact of being alive. don't you?

No. While I can empathize and see other people's POV, i dont think everyone should get the same treatment. That speech is wonderfully rainbow coloured and it totally makes one a true justice warrior but it will quickly fly out the window once one finds themselves on the wrong side or abuse or prejudice. My abuser will not get the same treatment from me as my loved one. An anon that comes to my inbox and speaks with me respectfully will not have the same treatment an anon that comes here insulting me will have. That means there would be zero consequences to anyones actions, and who gets the brunt of this? The people that are actually fragile. Would you treat someone who murdered a loved one with respect? Pfft.

Look, Im trying to be cool about this. But stop throwing manipulative platitudes at me. Im not 9.

Besides, Im not treating Danneel any particular way. She doesnt know i exist, and in the largely remote possibility she does, shell get another shot of botox and quickly forget who i am. None of this is personal. You are making it personal.

us humans are capable of understanding our emotions and be empathic with others.

And I can. I could actually give you a detailed in depth analysis of why i think x, y and z act a certain way. In my personal life, it's part of my job to actually be able to read people and see why they react a certain way (and no, Im not a therapist). But being empathic doesn't mean being lenient. It doesn't mean that i agree with a behaviour. It means I can analize, see the origin and understand it.

I could easily analize the behavior of all the people leaving ugly messages in my inbox, and even feel sorry for them (which honestly, i do), but i think at this point it would just be insulting, so i'll refrain.

yes, you are entitled to your opinion, free expression is a right, so you can hate Danneel and write all the bs that you want and that's fine. what is not ok is to dehumanize and insult her and then turn around and claim you do it out of love for Jensen.

OK, I think you need to take a firm stance here. Not that it would actually influence an outcome, but am I or am i not allowed to write what I want? Is freedom of speech a right that assists me, or just to the point where i hit a sensitive nerve?

And lets focus on the concept of dehumanizing. Dehumanizing would mean that i was stripping from the individual every right or quality they may have as a human. Thats not what Im doing. Im pointing out the human qualities I dont appreciate. See the difference? On the other hand, I could easily argue that some people idolize her, meaning: to love unquestioningly and uncritically or to excess. So maybe its not me who is holding an extremist stance. Food for thought.

She is his wife and mother of his children; he chose her to share a life because he loves her. how do you think he would feel if he actually read your bs?

First of all, while i can agree that to some extent he did choose her, Im not going to be bold and claim I know why, and neither should you. Both of us work on assumptions, and the thing is, mine are as good as yours.

How I think he would feel? Well, I think that, like any other rational human being, he would read what i write and either identify with it or not at all. I think he would take what resonates and leave what does not, and go on with his own merry life. But if he were to read me, a very little blog with close to zero visibility, i would also assume he would have read other blogs, AA blogs, with far cringier comments. Something in the lines of watching him like a rabid dog in heat, or other masturbatory borderline psychotic comments, that, indeed, dehumanize him and turn him into a sexual object, and not a man. I think those would be the comments that would worry him the most, as those would be the people that most likely would have him hogtied in a basement, given the chance.

As to being the wife and mother of her children, you'd think his wife would hold her behaviour in higher standards as so to not give her children bad examples. Criticizing her husband in a passive agressive way some people call banter in front of his peers and his clients (yes, because in Jensen's case, his audience is, in an indirect way, his clients) is not a behaviour I would consider dignified or even smart, since he is, after all, her breadwinner.

how would you feel if somebody made a blog just to hate on your loved ones?

Well, I dont have a blog offending me and my loved ones, but i have read some nasty comments about me so far, not in a blog, but directly in my inbox. How do I feel? I'm a big girl, I own my actions and i know the consequences of having a different opinion. This isnt my first rodeo. People who are not celebrities go through it also on a daily basis, some people are prejudiced because of skin tone, ethinicity, religious beliefs, gender...

By the way, are you advocating for those too? Or you just stick to the celebrities you like? Which ironically points to the original question: why would Danneel be an exception?

Still waiting for an answer on that one.

[bonni]

you said something about having issues with the op of the p.lace perspective? (censoring the word so it wont show up in tags if you dont want) could you elaborate? if not thats fine you do you

When I let this sit in my inbox for months 😵‍💫 anyway I think I said that as a disclaimer when recommending the essays bc I just don't agree with all of their opinions, back when they were active on Tumblr they used to get into discourse where they would clearly let their own personal trauma/issues affect their interpretation of the series (which I think we all do to an extent) specifically wrt how they felt about Touga's character. Their own projection onto Nanami as a survivor clearly impacted their ability to see Touga as both a perpetrator and a victim, and they didn't like when people talked about the aspects of Touga's character that were more nuanced/expressed any level of sympathy for him. at one point they got in hot water for calling Touga "arguably worse than Akio," which is just blatantly untrue, there's no real argument to be had there outside of their own projection.

I also think that tpp doesn't do the queer themes in the series justice. it's completely okay not to engage with certain themes in your own essays, especially if they're not as personal to you and you feel as though other people are more qualified to discuss them, but the one line at the beginning of the essay where the author says something like "people tend to see utena as a queer series and ignore the themes of incest" (true, valid complaint, very important) "but I would argue that it's actually a series about incest and the queer themes are secondary" (debatable and a vast oversimplification) always rubbed me the wrong way, and in fact I would argue that the queer themes and the handling of incest are inextricable due to the series' overarching criticism of the nuclear family model and the heteronormativity it entails.

tl;dr tpp is a great series of essays and a really good jumping-off point for discussing incest in Utena, the writer is clearly talented and well-informed on this topic due to their own personal life experience, however they also seem to be dealing with some of their own issues which impact which aspects of the series they're willing to meaningfully engage with. getting off Tumblr was probably the right move for them, mental-health wise.

[liquidstar]

(this is NOT meant as a "gotcha!" thing, just genuine curiosity. This is about the goldberg post you reblogged btw.) Wanting your own house forever is valid, but it makes me curious about your opinion of marrying someone who ALSO doesn't want anyone in their house and would like to live separately. I don't see why giving up your space has to be a requirement for everybody who gets married. (Obviously its fine to still not want that either lol. Not wanting marriage for any reason is valid!)

oh i wouldnt have seen this as a gotcha, i think its a pretty innocuous question about living arrangements w partners lol

but no yeah i actually totally agree with you, theres no reason marriage has to look like how society tells us to. you know, a man and a woman in the suburbs with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a dog. i think that you can absolutely have any sort of arrangement you want with your partner

for a long time while i was growing up my parents were long distance, and that was fine and normal to me. i understand now that this wasnt really a choice (with the financial crisis in greece, my dad had to move to america to find work, and we all eventually moved once enough money was saved up etc) but like, it didnt make them any less married in my eyes. and i think that you can absolutely be in different houses even by choice and still be married if thats the kind of relationship youre both happy and secure with. who cares, right?

similarly my grandparents have different bedrooms but never had marital issues. my grandma just likes having her own space during the day, and she says theyd usually just pick one of the rooms to sleep in overnight. thats a mindset i can totally get behind and honestly that would also totally be the ideal setup for me, if i were to ever hypothetically get married.

i joked in the post's tags that one of my most "23 year old opinions" is not wanting to get married and start a family, and a lot of that is just because i dislike the idea of those obligations. but i also think a lot of that is because im young enough that i dont really see it as something i want- i still wanna be single and have fun because thats the kind of asshole i am (JOKE!). like, commitment to something that long term is just not in my field of vision yet. i do genuinely not want kids though but thats a different story. a spouse is something id want only if we really clicked i guess. but isnt that the case for everyone?

but for the time being i dont want anyone in my house LOL and maybe once i do we can have different rooms and do sleepovers like my grandma's genius idea