#Not have super strong opinions on what to watch etc. Food i am boring on but otherwise like.... Yeah nah i am usually fine with most things

[mrfoox]

Also I was indirectly called an sub today by my friend and im howling

[funkymbtifiction]

6 vs 9

Thank you for answering my question on Ni and worrying!

I have debated on 6 vs. 9 before, but I’m pretty sure I’m a 9.

Not sure if you want an answer or not, but why not? I’ve got time. ;)

I do see 6 aspects in myself:

Lots of self-doubt and over-thinking. I take commissions as an artist and usually I’m excited to hear about a new commission but then get worried and think I won’t be able to do it / won’t do a good enough job. <- if you are a 9, this could just be your line to 6 and general anxiousness about doing a good job per your (I assume) 1 wing.

Being indecisive when anxious and wanting someone to tell me what to do/solve my problem. <- Hmm, I haven’t talked to my 9 core friends about this a lot, but I do notice some of them consult me in a “this is happening!!!” way and I give them suggestions on what to do, so… I’d say 9s will consult people they trust if they don’t know what to do. Also, did you decide on INFP? If so, indecisiveness is Ne.

I tend to plan for the worst/expect the worst (but hope for the best). <- Pessimism is a human condition. xD

I don’t project, though - I do worry that people may not like me, but I don’t test them to find out if that is the case and I always blame myself for it (i.e if they don’t like me it must be because I’m boring or weird or not emotionally reactive enough). <- I used to do this way more when I was young. I’d send an e-mail, get anxious if I didn’t get a normal prompt response, comb back over what I said searching for anything that might have upset them, and feel anxious for no reason assuming someone is mad at me. I would send out little feelers to see what was going on – quick texts or notes in a friendly tone to see if that generated a response. Now I just assume, when that anxiousness kicks in, that as adults, we’re all busy. But self-blaming is a condition of Fi, and not related to Enneagram type, IMO.

Also, I don’t provoke people to examine reactions. In fact I hate conflict (the classic “raised voices = yelling” 9 issue is true for me; in 95% of arguments I’m the peacemaker trying to find middle ground between other people). <- with me, it depends. I have zero problems with conflict at home or arguing with my parents / family members, but the less I know you and the less I trust you, the more I don’t want to fight with you. It’s true, though, that I have that bratty 6w7 energy that sometimes provokes to get a rise out of my loved ones, which my mother (a 1w9) absolutely hates. It’s hard to shut off, but I try for her sake. Course my father is quarrelsome too, so we’re like a tempest in a teapot sometimes.

I also don’t see many positive 6 aspects in myself:

The ability/desire to build connections and make a security system. <- Interesting. My security is my bank account and having a few people I can count on. It’s not stalking up my pantry, for sure. *cough * weak Si, like what kinds of foods even go together? *cough* Though I work very hard in my family business so we can all thrive, which is a security of its own.

Being loyal to friends and checking in with them to make sure we’re “okay” (I never do this barring an actual argument or something - mostly I ghost people; loyalty is not my strong suit!) <- This is very true of me. If anyone picks on any of my friends, I will get offended and fiercely defend them (even if I have criticisms of them myself). And I do like to stay connected as an extrovert. But following up what I said above, I don’t try to build super close connections as much as I did when I was younger. I’ve realized people have their own lives, and you’re lucky to get their attention at all. But I don’t ghost people. I used to stay in very immediate contact with them.

I feel very little need to connect with other people. My friends are basically my family and in-laws -  about 10 people who I truly trust and would do anything for. I don’t really want more people-related responsibilities. <- lucky little sp-dom introvert. ;) Though I can somewhat relate. More people means more energy going out, and I spend so much of it on my books and hobbies, I don’t have a lot left over. I was laughing with a fellow sp-dom INFP just yesterday about how we are both like “OMG, I have SOCIAL events in October, 5 of them!! I’m going to be so busy!!! Will it be too much???” Chill, girl. They’re interspersed over weeks. Stop over-thinking “invasions of my time!”

Meanwhile, I have many positive and negative 9 attributes:

The core problem of 9, apathy, is a BIG problem for me. Many problems in my life have been caused by not acting, by waiting too long in hopes that the problem will go away, by riding along on easy work (even if it is work I love and is worth doing) and not doing the hard work that would lead to the achievements I really want to make (writing a novel, etc.). I’m not a lazy/apathetic person in general - I can (and do) work extremely hard (I run my own art business and working 12+ hours a day is typical for me). But it’s a mental apathy issue, the quailing at mentally facing hard tasks and ending up doing small easy things that soothe me. <- aww, tho I relate to procrastinating. Being around 9s, it kind of amuses me to watch you self-soothe. Like, shouldn’t you be studying for your math final and not reorganizing the bathroom cabinets? And it seems like 9s can drag their feet even when it’s important until they decide to do it, then nothing stands in their way.

Other 9 aspects/problems I can see in myself:

Being vague - not knowing what I really want and getting frustrated by not having a clear vision of what to do. <- yeah, that’s 9ish.

Suppressing anger and other “negative” emotions because of seeking inner peace/blankness. And if I do express anger (usually in a burst under stress) I feel guilty about it. <- 1 wing, yeah.

Setting up walls between other people and myself because I can’t deal with their emotions. I don’t struggle with the intense kind of “merging” described by many 9s, but I think that might be because I’m Fi-dom and probably sp-dom. But it is still exhausting to handle the emotions, opinions, etc. of many people for long periods of time. <- I need to ask my 9w8 INFP more about this specifically, but I don’t know that she fully merges so much as prematurely (sp-dom) throws up a barrier and says Nope to things, in hopes of avoiding other people creeping into her feelings. And yeah, she finds being around especially temperamental or high energy people difficult, since it’s such a bombardment of drama + her own intense reactions.

Tolerating behavior I don’t like for too long because “they might have good intentions.” Thinking positively of people because believing the worst of them feels mean. <- same for me, Ne + compliant type issues.

I have very strong opinions but I don’t like to argue with other people. I tend to believe that if the truth exists, other people will be drawn to it without my twisting their arm and making them see it. <- that’s nice of you and very healthy Fi-dom. I … will absolutely argue up to a point, then decide it’s not worth my time and pointless.

My motto (good and bad) is often “Let’s wait and see if things improve.” <- haha.

Also, although I do struggle with 6ish self-doubt, when it comes down to it I trust my gut and believe that I know what is best for myself. People can give me advice and I’ll nod and thank them but inside I’m thinking “You don’t know me!” In general I am (or at least appear and strive to be) a cheerful, emotionally stable, positive person. So… I still think 9 gets more points. But honestly, this is one of those things that makes me believe in tritypes because I relate a lot to both of them! Thank you for reading all of this!

Go with your gut. Be a happy little 9. :)

ETA: Regarding relating to them both -- of course you do, 6 is your stress line, so it will show up regularly. ;)

[teenageprunepatrolpurse]

Get Motivated to Drop 2–4 Dress Sizes in One Month: 4 Steps to Get your Dream Body

How to lose 4 dress sizes in a month or how to lose 20+ pounds in 30 days all mean the same thing, losing weight on a deadline. Whether it be a high school reunion, your own wedding, or other specific occasions. But before we get into it, let’s talk about what matters most when it comes to effective and successful weight loss.

In this article, we’re going to cover the 4 steps to get your dream body. I always believe the best solutions are the simple ones so I don’t have 12 tips or 15 keys to losing weight fast. Just the 4 keys that are essential to successful weight loss.

Note: This article is more about the principles of weight loss and proper mindset to get you motivated for a higher success rate.

📷 If you’re interested in learning exactly how I lost 20+ pounds in 1 month without exercise after each of my pregnancies over age 40, then read this article for further details.

1. First Key to Successful Weight Loss: Set up Practical Goals 📷 Different Aesthetic Standards Let’s take a look at the picture above. Sure you see the woman in a black dress. I believe you may not find her to be super slim but she has beautiful feminine curves which make her look just as attractive as the lady in purple on the right, who’s holding a wheel position on the ground whom I believe most people would consider being slender. I don’t know about you but they’re both just as fit and beautiful to me.A friend of mine once told me when he was younger he used to find chubby girls much more attractive than skinny girls. As you can see, human perceptions of beauty change from time to time and vary from individual to individual. What really matters is the way you see yourself. In my opinion, every woman is unique and beautiful her own way. Some might be sort of ‘big-boned’ while others are rather plump or extremely tall and skinny. Each of us is born with an inherited body type which we sometimes can do little to change. So before we even jump into any sort of diet or workout plan we need to know what our natural body type looks like and get the idea of the best version of the body we are most likely to achieve and feel comfortable with it. It’s impractical to pursue the hourglass figure when your natural body type is rather tall and “narrow-butt” if you know what I mean. It’d be nice to have a body like that of Kim Kardashian, whom I pretty much believe is born that way.Measure Your Dress Sizes instead of Weight Losing 3–4 dress sizes in a month is actually a more specific goal than losing 20 pounds in 21 days. It will make you less obsessed with the numbers on the weight scale when all you have to do is measure your waistline & hip circumference. It will give you a better idea of how close you are to your fitness goal.2. Second Key to get you started: Mindset Mindset is essential for successful weight loss in the long term. You need to truly love yourself for who you are and be willing to do whatever it takes for your well-being. You are beautiful the way you are. You are worthy of a great and healthy life and you will get your dream body once you started believing in yourself.What are the real reasons that make you want to start losing weight? Health issues? Want to fit in some fabulous outfits? Abs that will turn heads when you’re on the beach?Try to find the strongest motivations that will get you started and keep you going towards your goal.They have to be bigger than just want to look great and feel good about yourself which by the way is nothing wrong either. It’s so important that you’re doing this out of strong love for yourself and your loved ones because it will give you the power to continue and get you motivated. That’s why having your mind in the right place is crucial to successful weight loss.My 4-year-old daughter asked me a question the other day:” Mom, will you still be around when I grow up?” “Do you want me to still be around by then?” “Of course I do! I want you to always be around no matter how old I am.” “I will do my best, honey”, was the promise I made to her.That reminds me of my parents, who are already advanced in age yet still being so healthy and energetic and not suffering any kind of pain which most elderly people do(backache, rheumatism, arthritis, knee pain, etc.).My father is a wise and experienced natural therapist and herbal expert and is able to take good care of himself and my mom. I am so grateful that my parents are still so healthy and I want to follow the good example they set up for me.I’d like to quote what my father used to say to us:” Always watch what you put in your mouth. You are not a trash can! Don’t just eat anything because it tastes good.” 📷 📷 Use the Power of Mind Think of Your Body as a small universe with your mind is the most powerful thing that maintains the balance within this small universe.Or if we think of the body as some sort of hardware then your mind is like the software that actually makes the hardware works at its best.I know this metaphor might

be a little too simplistic but it’s important to fill our minds with positive thoughts. Because your mind and your words actually have the power to program your life into the way you want it to be.If we fill our minds with negative thoughts then we’re most likely not going to take any action to achieve any goal that would make us healthier or have a better life than we deserve because deep down in our hearts we think it’s impossible or just too difficult to achieve.That’s why mindset is the key to successful weight loss because it is often followed by aligned actions which naturally lead to a change of lifestyle. Now that if you know for sure you are doing this out of strong love for yourself and your loved ones and you have your mindset in the right place then we’re good to go.Seek Professional Help Now if you are having some sort of eating disorder problem like you often found yourself staring at the big empty ice-cream container after watching your favorite movies at midnight.Or maybe you are stress-eating a lot or some of you even suffer from something worse such as bulimia or anorexia. Then the last thing you need to worry about now is the way you look like.I’d suggest that you look deeper into the real reasons behind your eating disorder behavior or even seek professional help if necessary. 📷 📷 3. Third Key that is Crucial: Maintain Hormonal and Metabolic Balance Maintaining hormonal and metabolic balance is the essential key to successful weight loss especially for women who are overweight and what they’ve been doing is eat very little and move a lot while still not getting the result they want.A hormonal imbalance can greatly affect women’s beauty and the distribution of their body fat[1]. For example, the lack of estrogen can cause our skin to lose its tautness which means the wrinkled face and fine lines around the eyes. When the estrogen levels are low it could lead to excessive weight gain as well.The growth hormone, which is known to be able to help burning fat while also building your muscles and bones during your deep cycles of sleep-[2][3]. That’s why having quality sleep is so important if we want to actually lose that stubborn fat that’s stored in our trouble spots because the effective fat-burning process actually happens while we’re sleeping not when we’re exercising.The Insulin hormone, also known as the “fat-storing hormone”, is produced by our pancreas, regulates the metabolism of carbs, protein, and fat. Insulin is released when our blood sugar levels rise. It helps absorb glucose from the blood and store it for future use. If we absorb too much glucose our body converts it into fat which causes weight gain. That’s why we need to stay away from refined sugar(or refined carbs) in order to prevent a dramatic rise of blood sugar levels that spike up the secretion of insulin which results in converting excessive blood sugar into fat.Cortisol is a steroid hormone, also referred to as the “stress hormone” due to the fact that its release is increased in response to stress and low blood sugar levels. We want to keep our cortisol levels down so we can turn on that fat-burning mode which boosts our metabolisms and helps us lose the stubborn fat in our trouble spots. Basically, when our cortisol level is high our body switches from the fat-burning mode to the muscle-breaking and fat-storing mode.I don’t want to bore you with the science here but it’s important that we understand that the human body is complicated and we need to take multi-factors into consideration instead of just simplify things with the “eat less and move more” equation.

If you want to know how to “eat more exercise less” to regain hormonal and metabolic balance then read this article to learn more.

📷

4. Fourth Key: Stop Dieting In saying dieting I mean any kind of calorie restriction diets or weird/extreme diets that might cause nutrient deficiency which could be screwing up your hormonal and metabolic balance and thus make all your efforts and attempts at weight loss go in vain. The kind of dieting that’s not sustainable and practical, the kind that makes you feel listless, depressed, tired and your moods swinging from time to time you could hardly summon any energy to do what you want to do.As I have mentioned before, we do need to watch what we eat but we also need to develop a healthy relationship with our food so we won’t be afraid of having food that would actually make us healthy just because it has higher calories.The thing about counting calories is that it’s hard to be accurate. The same food seasoned and cooked in different ways could have different calorie counts. When we count the calories of a specific fruit we also need to take into account other factors such as its maturity because of the difference of sugar content in it.As for the chicken breast we have is it with skin or without skin and what’s the protein to fat ratio of it? Sounds complicated, isn’t it? Well, it is and it’s exhausting and inefficient if you have to do this on a daily basis.By the way, do you always feel like you need to remove the skin of the meat you have because it will make you fat? Well, do you know that eating meat along with its skin actually helps you digest better, and having good quality fat such as natural animal fat actually helps you burn fat in a more efficient way?What and How to Eat Matters I don’t need to tell you what you should eat to lose weight healthily because you’ve probably already gathered tons of information from different sources about it.You know how important it is to have good quality proteins to help you build muscles(boost metabolisms), that you should also include healthy fat, carbs, probiotics, fibers, vegetables in your meals as well so I guess I shouldn’t waste your time repeating what you already know.But what about the type and combination of food, what kind of protein together with what kind of carbs and vegetables, the amount of each category, what seasoning to use, which food combination or pairing of spices/flavors works better, when to eat, etc?For example, Crab is a great source of protein, and orange is also considered a good source of carbs which contains low calories and several vitamins and minerals. However, eating a great amount of crab while guzzling gallons of cold orange juice may not be a good choice for people with poor digestive systems.Drinking soup made by a certain combination of meat and vegetables is different from eating each ingredient separately. Salmon is well known for containing omega 3 fatty acids which may also help us burn body fat. However, we need to look deeper into the nutritional differences between farmed salmon and wild salmon. We also need to be careful not to have seafood as our main source of protein given the fact that the ocean is highly polluted and chemicals and pollutants can be absorbed by fish or other marine life through their environment and diet.Yes, there is a lot to take into consideration when it comes to choosing food for health and effective weight loss.Losing weight or dropping dress sizes fast is not something difficult to achieve. Eating nutrient-dense food combinations in the right way can lead to rapid weight loss without having to starve yourself or doing excessive cardio/HIIT exercises.

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[onewhoturns]

100 truths?

edit: fuck! forgot to mention I was tagged by @mocarro

1.) Real name: Turner 2.) Nicknames: Turner? 3.) Zodiac Sign: *sigh*  4.) Male or Female: (>.> not gonna include nb/gq/ag stuff? really? let’s fix that) 4.) Gender: female 5.) Nursery: the fuck does this mean, I’m painfully american 6.) Primary School: I did that, part private part public, G&T program (I’d regret it, but most of my teachers were good and I was comfortable being a complete nerd) 7.) Secondary School: not as good as primary, but that was mostly internal stuff, no bullying or anything 8.) Hair Color: dark brown 9.) Long or Short: used to be down to my lower back, now it’s shoulder length 10.) Loud or Quiet: loud. I tend to have difficulty regulating my volume, but have definitely gotten better about it now that I’m an adult and I’m more aware of it (also thanks to helpful feedback from friends, family, housemates etc) 11.) Sweats or Jeans: pj pants. or jeans. 12.) Phone or Camera: phone 13.) Health Freak: nah 14.) Drink or Smoke: occasionally drink (twice a month? ish? not very often at all, and when I do it’s small amounts. don’t think I’ve had any alcohol since... february? not trying to abstain, just not big on it unless it tastes good) 15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: nope 16.) Political orientation: uhhhhhh liberal I guess? I’d say it without reservation but I’m sure someone could jump down my throat about “the liberals” and I’m over here just like lgbtq+ rights, affordable college tuition, affordable health care, etc.  17.) Piercings: had my ears pierced for all of 6 months but as soon as I took out the studs they closed up before I could put in another pair. yeah. so... no. 18.) Tattoos: nah. thought about it, but nah. HAVE YOU EVER [BEEN IN]: 19.) Airplane: several times 20.) Car *Accident*: i guess? just a fender bender 21.) Fist Fight: nope, i’m weak af and not interested in physical confrontation FIRSTS: 22.) First piercing: ears 23.) First Best Friend: a girl named Beth in first grade, probably. but then I left after second, so never saw her again. 24.) First Instrument played: I’m sure I took piano lessons at some point. but did flute 5-6th grade. 25.) First award: I dunno, probably some participation award or something 26.) First Crush: Julio in kindergarten, apparently XD 27.) First Language: english. 28.) First Big Vacation: we went to maine all the time all through my primary school years LASTS: 29.) Last Person you talked to: out loud? grocery store cashier 30.) Last Person You Texted: if we’re counting discord @bloodofthepen, otherwise probably my mom. if we’re not counting discord but are counting messenger then my coworker/manager 31.) Last Person You Watched: watching jacksepticeye play observation atm 32.) Last Food You Ate: pirate’s booty 32.) Last Movie You Watched: uhhhhhhhhhhhh i dunno. just marathoned what we do in the shadows, though (tv show, not movie) 34.) Last Song You listened to: On Your Way - the Album Leaf 35.) Last Thing You Bought: groceries 36.) Last Person You Hugged: coworker on his last day saturday FAVES: 37.) Food: chocolate croissant maybe? idk, i like a lot of foods. burrata maybe. 38.) Drinks: water (boring, whatever) 39.) Clothing: pj pants and hoodies 40.) Book: His Dark Materials 41.) Color: no fave, really, though I do tend to ask for green for my discord color 42.) Flower: no fave cause I know nothing about flowers. 43.) Music: the Decemberists are up there, as is Death Cab For Cutie and Darlingside 44.) Movie: too many faves. here’s the top ten in no order. 46.) Subjects: psych

IN THE PAST YEAR I… 47.) [ ] Kissed in the rain 48.) [ ] Celebrated Halloween. 49.) [ ] Had Your Heart Broken 50.) [ ] Went Over the Minutes on Your Cell Phone 51.) [x] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation. (tbf it was one of these ask meme things, and it wasn’t questioned as much as asked) 52.) [ ] Used a Weapon 53.) [ ] Breathed fire 54.) [ ] Had an Abortion 55.) [x] Done something you’ve Regretted   56.) [x] Broke a Promise 57.) [x] Kept a Secret 58.) [x] Pretended To Be Happy 59.) [ ] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life 60.) [ ] Pretended To Be Sick 61.) [ ] Left The Country 62.) [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn’t like, and liked it. 63.) [x] Cried Over The Silliest Thing 64.) [ ] Ran a Mile 65.) [x] Went To the Beach 66.) [x] Stayed Single CURRENTLY: 67.) Eating: gonna have some more pirate’s booty when I’m done typing 68.) Drinking: water 69.) Getting Ready To: stay up too late watching or listening to videos or podcasts or maybe playing a game who knows 70.) Listening To: nothing right this second, but I was listening to part four of Film Reroll’s ET game earlier 71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: first day off in a week, gonna sleep a lot and maybe wash my hair 72.) Waiting For: sleep YOUR FUTURE: 73.) Want Kids: nah 74.) Want To Get Married: idk, maybe if i meet someone great 75.) Careers in minds: no clue, I’m somewhat bemused that I’m still alive WHICH IS BETTER ON A GIRL/GUY: (again blatant nb/gq/ag exclusion) ON A PERSON/PARTNER: 76.) Lips or Eyes: uhhhh depends. probably lips? 77.) Shorter or Taller: not much of a preference, but probably taller just cause i’m already quite short 78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: (I’m really not a person to ask these questions, I have so little opinion on this sort of thing) probably spontaneous? I’m super adhd and also super depressed, and novelty is good for me. 79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: (another question I have no strong opinions on-- and am not a huge fan of tbh) lately I’ve been a sucker for ladies with nice arms 80.) Sensitive or Loud: knowing when to be one or the other 81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: fwb/casual relationship 82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: neither? confident but not a dick for the sake of making trouble. self-aware. HAVE YOU EVER: 83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: don’t wear glasses but i’ve lost sunglasses before 84.) Ran Away From Home: no 85.) Held A Weapon, For Self Defense: nope 86.) Killed Somebody: who would admit to this? 87.) Broken Someone’s Heart: maybe. i’ve definitely turned people down before, and based on their reactions maybe. 88.) Been Arrested: no DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 90.) Yourself: I mean, I exist. I’m relatively confident about some things, and quite pessimistic and self-defeating about others 91.) Miracles: meh. not really. 92.) Love at First Sight: nah. interest for sure, and chemistry, but not full-on love 93.) Heaven: nope 94.) Santa Claus: nah (also: atheist jew, so not really my bag to begin with) 95.) Easter Bunny: nope (see above) 96.) Magic: hm, not per se, but there are so-called witches out there that I think can definitely affect their own lives and therefor the lives of others with the actions they take in the name of magic (so more of a “be the change you wish to see in the world” sort of thing than a love potion or lucky charm sort of thing. i guess i believe in the power of magic to individuals rather that magic on it’s own) ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 97.) Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: ehhhh not really 98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: no, but there’s not anywhere else I can see myself either 99.) Are You Happy With The Person You’re With: no one? yeah, pretty okay with it. not interested in looking for anything else, anyway. 100.) Post as 100 Truths and Tag five People: @iron-moon @bloodofthepen @artemis-crimson @hirvitank @artabria (no pressure, and if anyone else wants to do it go for it)

[codywalzel]

It is my personal belief that no one can teach another human being a single useful thing about how to make art. My understanding of “teaching” is giving someone something directly, like a full-proof method for balancing algebraic equations, or the definitions of SAT words. I went into art school with the hopes that cryptic lesson plans would lead to a Mr. Miyagi style evolution that would unlock my hidden powers. If I knew what I do now about how to art-learn, I might have gotten something substantial out of college. But in my experience, art education begins and ends with either: 1. Another artist opening your eyes to an idea about drawing that you hadn’t noticed before, or 2. Elaborating on their go-to solutions they use in their own work. Someone can tell you that you can ground your storyboards by drawing a ground grid. But using that grid in correct perspective, to it’s intended effect, is not something someone can do for you. Art educators and mentors can help you identify solutions to problems, then you work out how to implement it yourself. At the risk of sounding like a pedant for drawing that distinction, I’ll say that since I started approaching creative learning from this perspective, I get a lot more out of it. It’s become more “guided experimentation” than recording a recipe for the perfect painting. That said, storytelling in art is definitely something you can teach yourself. You’ve identified a trait already, storytelling, so you’re already at the limit of where some teachers can take you. Plus you identified something astute, because I’ve been trying to incorporate storytelling into my art for a while, and have only recently started to get a handle on it. So in my opinion, you’ve done the bulk of the thinking work. Now comes the heavy practice work to master this new spell. This journey has a lot to do with finding your voice as a storyteller, so the tone of “YOU”, and the style of rendering that best expresses that tone in this time and place, will have a unique set of challenges for each person. But, I’ll take you through some of the realizations I had on the path to where I am now: A proud adult with two cats and a hit or miss batting average at clearly expressing thought in a sketch.

Capturing an entire scene in a single, static drawing is something my mentor Ian Abando does masterfully. I used to try to emulate the personality I saw in those drawings, but I was only copying the surface. I realize now that me and Ian’s outlooks are so different, that Ian and I would never tell the same type of stories, much less the same exact same story about those people at the adjacent cafe table. He’s personable, outgoing, jovial. Ian is like a friendly labrador with a dark streak in his sense of humor. He can sketch two strangers and capture a warmth that makes you realize they’re actually two old friends that haven’t seen each other in years. I can find something in that coffee shop too, but I’m just a way bigger weirdo, so I’m more interested in weirdo shit. For me, the first step in capturing those stories was finding the right subject. I keep a sketchbook with me at all times, and I’ve developed a patience for waiting, for hunting the right subject. When Ian and I meet up at a coffee shop to sketch, it always seems like he can draw anything. He seems to rest his gaze somewhere in the room at random, then drop pencil to page and watch that snippet explode into life. But now, I think he’s hunting too. I think he’s searching for what’s interesting, what’s worth drawing to him. It only seemed random to me because I couldn’t see what was beautiful about a subject. That he can see a particular magic in a certain 6 square feet of space, and not 6 feet next to it, has to do with who he is. In my mind, he was making that table of pleasant, unremarkable strangers more interesting on the page than it really was. But in his mind, maybe he saw that a girl was counting down the seconds until the end of a bad date, and the guy was trying to find subtle ways to flex.  Even now that I can “see” more, I might never appreciate the specific things that Ian does until he draws them.

The potential exists for that to be true of all of us. Art is a magic that lends other people your eyes. So let people see the pieces of your world that only you can. Just like he can do for me, I can see what’s interesting in scenes that Ian would overlook. And there are a million scenes where we’d see the same fascinating thing, but we’d have a different approach to it (for one, his approach would be to be way better at drawing than me). And there are a million more scenes that we’d both see something interesting in, but we’d each attach to a different feature of it.  All of that to say, don’t just pick out something and draw. If you want to tell a story, then don’t draw just to put something down on the page. Wait. Observe. Find a moment that makes you laugh. Find somebody despicable, and capture what’s despicable about them. Use a sketch to vent. Or make a sketch intentionally cold, and show everyone what your specific brand of loneliness feels like without begging for sympathy. I’d rather keep observing and draw nothing than to try to draw something dull because it’s in front of me. Find the stories you’re personally interested in, you probably have something funny or insightful to say about a given situation that is unique to you. Try to put that weird part of you on display. If it scares you, then it’s probably coming from an honest place, and you should keep going. It may be clumsy at first. The story I want to tell still doesn’t come across on the page every time. Meanwhile, Ian seems to capture his stories without a single failure. If stories are Pokemon, he’s tossing great balls while I’m stuck with a standard issue poke ball. He’d probably say that comes down to pencil mileage. So keep practicing. Keep putting pencil to page even on the shit drawing days. It’s a toll you have to pay to be good down the line, even if you’re not good today. But, please, keep your brain turned on, that means always make an effort to be interesting. (Everyone go ahead and make that same effort in life too. Being boring around the water cooler at work is super rude and depressing.)  Like I said, being interesting in your art usually just comes down to taking an extra second to consider your subject before you start drawing. What am I seeing here? Is this the thing I want to draw? Where am I going with this? Is this coming from a real place? Am I digging to find the best I have today, or am I just making the same tired observation about airline food that I’ve seen before? And if I’m drawing something a lot of people draw, I make sure to ask what can I bring to this? What story can I tell about this that no one else is telling? Example: for the most part, if everyone around me is gushing about some new Star War via fanart, another well rendered post telling the story that you also enjoyed the Star War isn’t that interesting to me. I’d rather a worse drawing driven by a more interesting idea. You can participate in the cultural conversation without just repeating what’s already been said. I’m more likely to enjoy your Star War art if it comments on that one character’s funny butt pose in the third act. Or whatever. That’s just an hypothetical it doesn’t have to be butts. The point is to put more thought in to your art. Wait a sec for the right idea, don’t just start drawing. You will know when you spot the right subject because you will already see it on the page. Plussss, when you start drawing with a clear idea where you’re going, not only is it more interesting, but it actually informs your craft- your drawings will come out better. Okay, let’s say I’m not interested in the people a table over at the coffee shop, how do I know what else to look for? As stupid as this sounds, tweeting helped. Not just reading other people’s tweets, but putting myself out there, wording an idea with limited characters, figuring out what types of things could be explained, and what things were hard to express. And then I started to notice more and more effective way to express those ideas with a specific tone. One thing I realized about myself was that I trying to say two or three things about something at once. It made good ideas muddy, and weakened all three. I challenged myself to clarify, to combine, to present a single, strong idea. I’m still working on it, but for me tweeting is a storytelling exercise that’s helped put more “me” into my art. It forced me to get thoughts, ideas, jokes, frustrations, etc. out into the ether unadulterated by technique. There was no consideration of line quality or volume, so a thought had to stand on it’s own two legs. I doubt tweeting would help many artists in the same way.  But I think in words exclusively, images come later. I write outlines and dialogue in detail before I ever touch storyboard or comic thumbnails. But I’m in the middle of transitioning into writing, so I think my brain is naturally more verbal than most artists. Even with so much internal commentary, my art was without clear storytelling for a long time, because ideas either got lost in the drawing stage, or were too complicated to fit into a single image. Tweeting taught me how to be concise, (I’m clearly not using that skill for this reply, but whatever). So find your own method for making yourself comfortable enough to open up. Which leads me to the most my recent storytelling realization: Don’t be afraid to put your opinions in your art. What you feel passionate about from the deep to the mundane can guide you in your search for a subject. I think people’s egos are funny. LA’s coffee shops are flooded with aspiring creatives mouth-shitting hot takes on art with dogmatic authority, and all from their designated unemployment-check-opening-butt-crater that they’ve worn into the cafe couch. I’m not denigrating anyone that hasn’t made it yet. But I am laughing at the unearned confidence of beardy over at the next table, and the volume at which he’s dropping that savage insight into the Black Mirror episode using stolen lines he just finished reading in a Robert McKee book. Beardy is a “writer” you see, I know because he might have mentioned it a few times to the people he’s with. So yeah, one thing I like to draw is people with their ego’s showing. It makes me laugh. Probably because I too have a big, fragile ego.

That “storytelling” thing is a muscle, like being funny at a party. You get good at party banter if you put yourself through the pain of attending multiple parties close together. (I’m convinced no human being actually enjoys parties, by the way. We all think we’re the idiot just outside the conversation circle that can’t find a big enough gap in people’s shoulders. But parties are the hardest social video game and It’s a little fun to be good at it.) The same way, you keep that storytelling muscle active in your drawings, and you’ll get momentum. If you take a month off, it’ll get weaker, and you’ll have catching up to do when you come back to it. Draw “you” day in and day out. One day you’ll starting getting these bursts where you stop thinking about the drawing process. You’ll stop actively trying to make it “good”, you’ll be swept up, and you’ll disappear into your own rhythm. It’s probably on that day that you’ll look down and realize you just communicated on the page. But let’s move on to a matter of real importance:

The older I get the more I resemble an anime. Thoughts?

[maskmakervega]

A bit of alcohol still left in me, went to plague and it was pretty empty so i just experimented with the bartender on a bunch of wierd shit.  There are a lot of things i’d like to discuss with X, or even just say, but she is so sensitive and unable to see straight, that any level of contact would make things worse... i think she will need to hate me to move on.  Here i am talking about her needing to move on, i do see the irony. The fact of the matter is that i am further along the “im over you” trail than she is, by far.  I have the advantage of initiating the breakup though, it was not mutual. I think i would first try to reclarify my points, about how I myself am fundementally broken and not suitable for a long term relationship (being demisexual, that means really any relationship).   1.) I am a being of chaos, which sounds more fun than it is. I wish I could describe what its like to feel that burning passion one day, and the next day get so irritated that i legitimately wish x would just break up with me. Other times i’d feel that passion so strongly that it would drive me higher, and then some bullshit drama would occur and i’d feel the pains and stresses so deeply that *poof*... i’d “blow a fuse” as i call it, and be emotionally dead for days, unable to show that im feeling anything, and not entirely sure what i actually feel. Spans of time where everything is great, then one bad day sets everything on fire and the walls come crashing down. That was our relationship in a nutshell, it was as chaotic as I was. You’re only as strong as your weakest link?  When we were good, we were great. When we were bad, we were terrible. There was no middle ground, it was all or nothing. 2.) X has no ability to see things from a “logical” perspective, when it comes to me. This has many layers, but i suppose we can break it out like this: 2A) X’s absolute best friend in the world, and roommate, is her X that she was with for 5 years. She said the breakup was mutual, but considering the fact he tried to hook up with her shortly after the breakup, and many times asked why she was with me and not with him, indicate he was still in love. The “if you’re not in a relationship with me, then you need to move out” ultimatum lends weight to that too. However, that isn’t all his fault, she doesn’t understand that you can’t be best friends with an X that you grew that close to, because its ridiculously unfair to them. She went on week long vacations with him, multiple day road trips, concerts, weekend trips (all while we were dating), and he’s not supposed to get mixed signals?   She never saw this though, she never understood.   It put a huge strain on the relationship because he didn’t want me over there, and if i was there, I couldn’t hug her or even cuddle up next to her. The whole thing is ludicrous, i don’t know how or why i put up with it. 2B) After all the breakups, and our friends/family seeing just how badly we affected each other, it is easy to see how our loved ones would begin to hate and distrust the person they perceive to be hurting us.  That part she gets. What she doesn’t get is that when EVERYONE, literally everyone, thinks its a terrible idea for you to be with someone, that you would be alienating yourself from them just to appease the other person. That is something i couldn’t get past. It would have been one thing if she put in any level of effort to get to know my family and prove she wasn’t a psycho bitch (met my parents twice, a 3rd time in passing, within a year and they live 10 mins away), but that effort was never made because of her fears. I would try to hang out with her friends and they would either cancel plans, or the other group of friends just hated me too much to even want to get to know me.  Did i mention that 4 of her 7 best friends, were in love with her and actively tried to sway her opinion of me? Now that 2 of those 4 have girlfriends they want nothing to do with her... odd. 2C) Hypocrisy. This was a steady thing, because she never got how hypocritical she was being.  With the roommate situation, i’d see his girlfriend maybe 2-4 days a month, for like 10 minutes each time. This is a person i knew for almost 15 years, and had sex with a handful of times when we were both depressed and trying to feel normal (no chemistry, no attraction to her).  X would get super bent out of shape any time this person was brought up, and always be the same arguments, yet it was absolutely fine for her to live with an ex of 5 years, go on vacations with him, be besties teeheeheeheehee... “it is so different” was the answer i’d get. I have another friend who i on and off talk to, for about 15 years, we sometimes go years without talking, but we can get in hours-long, really interesting conversations. I had romantic feelings for that person years ago, but it never went anywhere and we’ve never actually met. The same thing, because i had some kind of connection, i was supposed to stop associating with this person... she never got the hypocrisy (until it was too late). 3) Horror movies, some music, and food. That was the extent of what we had in common. I am very much into the paranormal, occult/other dimensions/existential theories, big topics that can go on for years with the right person, and she seemed to have no interest. Truth be told, she never really told me her passions and never wanted to get into it. Any time we were together it was just a cuddle party, and we’d sit around getting fat together, eating and watching movies.  That’s good once in a while or a few times a week, as long as you exercise, but i tried on several occasions to exercise and she’d usually find some way to snake out of it and then i wouldn’t bother.  We had very little to talk about, and when i instituted “talk for an hour” mondays, she seemed to be fighting just to get to the end of that hour, like super anxious to just start watching movies.  Was i that boring, was i that repellent? If so, wtf did she see in me? 4) dishonesty: after the breakup she stopped going to therapy, and refuses to go. she doesn’t want to talk to a stranger, but she also won’t tell her friends all the details because she was lying to them about us being together.  This really tore into the relationship that last month because she was spending more time with those friends and less time working on making sure we were doing ok, and saying she needs to focus on them (2 of those 4 or 5 people no longer hang out with her because they have girlfriends). She couldn’t try and get us to hang out, she didn’t want to be judged, so she lied. That puts me into the forced position of needing to lie as well, and i absolutely hate lying. We all get to a point where an unavoidable fight closes in, but we have a secret we need to time the release of information for, but not when you’re coworkers and not when its numerous people. Leading us to... 5) we work together, closely. This makes things really, really fucking uncomfortable because she is super emotional a nuclear warhead during an argument, which she has no qualms about having over the work chat. It makes it impossible to work effectively, makes chat messages that can’t be deleted, linger around as grim reminders, and then there is drama that other people pick up on.  It is a bonehead move to date someone you work closely with, and i should have known better.  She understands, or at least says she understands, that this is one of my non-negotiable points of why we could not get back together, but she seems to have forgotten that as of valentines day. 6) Explosive temper, says mean shit during it.  She has a lot of freudian slips, that and/or she says intentionally mean shit when she’s frustrated. After a breakup she would, at work, rattle off every insult to my character that she could think of.  Telling me i’ll never have a meaningful relationship, that i never loved her, that i’m a piece of shit, that her friends are right, that she made a huge mistake in dating me, etc etc. She’d then play it all off like it never happened, but a lot of what she says, she meant and either didn’t know it, or just tried sweeping it under the rug.  7) back to me, i am not positive of what i want. I’d think about moving out, and where i wanna go, and i want to try and buy a shitty but livable house and work on it for the next 10 years.  Entirely livable, just needs minor work that can be done over time.  She is the kind of person that could not deal with that, she is a “i need a $300k starter home” kind of person, has very expensive tastes. I was always torn and it would cause me problems, when i thought that far into the future because i wouldn’t want to commit to buying something with her and thinking the relationship might fail and problems arise... very logical given how many times we broke up.  on the other hand, i wanted to start off in an apartment together, but it would need to be one that one of us could afford on our own, should the worst happen.  That didn’t foster “confident” feeling about the relationship, always feeling a contingency plan was necessary. Yet... through it all, i still love her very deeply, and wish there was some way for us to be happy together.   It would require too much change to take place, we would have to be different people.

[taemin-here-blog]

Get to know Taemin Kim

“You know I’m just gonna shit all over this paper right?”

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

Name: Kim Taemin (birth), Taemin Kim (westernized)

Eye Color: hazel

Hair Style/Color: shaggy but short hair cut, blonde

Height: 170cm

Clothing Style: he’s very fashionable, designer labels

Best Physical Feature: He would argue his lips, others might argue his thighs.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: instability, spiders, aging, having no control

Bad Habits: hiding his thoughts, making a joke out of everything, flirting

Ambition for the Future: it was being a professional ballet dancer, but he’s not sure what it is at the moment...

Biggest regret: ever listening to his parents about staying in San Diego and rejecting the offer from one of the top ballet schools in the world.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: good, i’m still here :D

What I Think About the Most: will i ever be good enough for anything?

What I Think About Before Bed: are you satisfied with what you’ve done today, should this be your last day?

What I Think My Best Quality Is: i can talk my way out of a lot of things...

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: group dates

To be Loved or Respected: respected, love can be so overrated and in the end, what does it really give you?

Beauty or Brains: beauty, it makes up for no brains tbh--but brains are just as sexy

Dogs or Cats: dogs

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: a lot more than i’ll ever admit

Have scars/birthmarks: i have a scar on my leg from a surgery i had on my fibula. shin splints are no joke--neither are stress fractures

Believe in Yourself: yes, more than i let on

Believe in Love: not completely

Want Someone: everyone wants someone

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: nearly every night for the last two years, and every weekend from the time i was 7 until i was 18

Done Drugs: i smoked weed a couple times in high school--fucking overrated

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: yeah, that was my entire childhood and a good chunk of my teenage years

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

Favorite Color: pink, it’s soft and warm.

Favorite Music: classical, it helps me relax but it also moves me

Favorite Animal: sea turtle. they’re old, they’re cute and i’ve always wanted one

Favorite Drink: water if i’m being honest

Favorite Food: it’s honestly between Korean food and Italian. pasta and noodles are the best human invention.

Favorite Place: it was the hellfire club in new york (where i worked), don’t know where my favorite place is now...

Favorite Sport: i’m not really into sports :/

Favorite Season: winter. snow is beautiful and cold weather means sweater weather and snuggle weather and hot chocolate.

Favorite Holiday: Korean New Year...SO MUCH FOOD.

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

Day Your Next Birthday Will Be: Jan. 27, so i think it’s a Saturday

Age You Lost Your Virginity: 18, in a bathroom in Brooklyn--the pinnacle of romantic

Does Age Matter?: ......a little bit. 

LAYER NINE: IN A PARTNER

Best Personality: someone confident and in control and knows what they want

Best Eye Color: i’ve always loved brown eyes, but i’m not picky

Best Hair Color: i find brunets particularly sexy...brown and black

Best thing to do With a Partner: exploring the text of kama sutra

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: attention. gimmie, gimmie, gimmie. compliments also tops this list.

I hate: being held back, restrained

I feel: confused? by this question?

I hide: most of my emotions. emotions are messy...i’m not supposed to be messy you know?

I miss: dancing, performing

I wish: i never put my ballet shoes and tights away...

QUESTIONNAIRE FOR THE MUSE:

What do you look like? (Include body type, frame, hair, eyes, skin, age, and distinguishing features): Hm, well I’m probably the classic dancer body, strong legs, firm booty. I’m rather short though, so I’m a travel-size dancer. I currently have blonde hair, a little shaggy and with it’s natural wave since I don’t have anything to straighten it out with. My eyes are small, not quite almond-shaped like my mom’s but they’re a hazel color. My skin is naturally a tanned beige color. For a time my parents talked me into bleaching my skin, but I haven’t done that in a couple years and my skin is kind of going back to the color it was before thankfully. I’m currently 19 years old, and I would say my most prominent feature is my lips. They’re super pink, super plump and I enjoy them oh so much. Other people seem to like them too.”

How do you dress most of the time?: “Most of the time, I would say I dress like a fashionable hobo. I wear mostly jeans with holes in them, boots whether combat or those cute fashion boots for men. I wear a lot of designer clothes. I love cardigans, and crazy socks. My socks almost never match.”

How do you “dress up”?: “When I dress up, I wear my best everything. I wear my best button down, my best slacks and my best shoes. I typically will accessories as well. A nice watch, flashy earrings, rings on my fingers, a nice bracelet--just depends on what kind of dressed-up look I’m going for.”

How do you “dress down”?: “Holy jeans, beanies, I’m inclined to also wear sweatpants, but I don’t wear them out in public often.”

What do you wear when you go to sleep?: “I typically sleep naked. Back at my apartment I did. But in the Undercroft, it’s way too cold for that so I wore regular clothes.”

Do you wear any jewelry?: “I wear rings quite a bit. I love earrings too. I have my cartilage pierced so I tend to keep those earrings in all the time.”

In your opinion, what is your best feature?: “Lips and ass. It’s hard to really choose between the two of them, but I feel like they’re my strongest assets.”

How many siblings do you have?: “I have two older sisters and an older brother.”

What is your father like?: “He’s I guess a traditional kind of guy. He only sees one path and won’t accept any deviations. He’s stubborn, hardheaded and wanders through life with blinders on. He’s also a plastic surgeon so, very hypercritical.”

What is your mother like?: “She’s...quiet. She lets my dad do most of the talking. She doesn’t have many ideas of her own. It caused me to resent her a lot growing up. I still kind of do. She never really cared what I did, the only thing that was important to her was that I get married and have pretty Korean babies. It still makes me laugh how much I will disappoint her in the future.”

Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?: “Well, back outside of Krovs, I lived in a tiny studio apartment in a very rough neighborhood in Manhattan. Just outside of Chelsea. It was a very clean, somewhat decorated apartment. I had a couch, a bed, a kitchenette. It’s all I really needed considering I was hardly ever home in the first place.”

Are you emotional, depressed, ect?: “No.”

Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why?: “I would consider myself pansexual. At different times I’ve been attracted to different people. Generally speaking, I’m readily attracted sexually to men. I just find the pull of a man to be far more enticing. But I’ve been attracted to all kinds of people.”

How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish?: “I am ticklish, but I’ll never tell you where. I have to protect myself.”

What do you do when you are bored?: “Masturbate. Or try to get laid.”

What do you envy most?: “I envy tall people. What’s the weather like up there? Is it warmer? Colder? Drier? TELL ME!”

[demiromanticmickey]

I was tagged by @fangtasticsaphael ☺️ This got kinda long so answers under the cut

1. Coke or Pepsi: Neither. I like citrusy sodas but I don’t drink them often bc soda is bad for you 🙅

2. Disney or DreamWorks: Both have made good movies but I gotta go with Disney.

3. Coffee or Tea: I like both but I’ve cut back on coffee bc it makes me break out, and that makes me sad bc I love coffee so much and I miss it :(

4. Books or Movies: Books. I need to read more though.

5. Windows or Mac: I got used to Mac when I went to college but I don’t think I really have a preference.

6. DC or Marvel: Marvel bc X-men

7. Xbox or Playstation: Neither? I don’t play video games.

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Neither

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: Night Owl

10. Cards or Chess: Hm I like both but I guess chess. I’m pretty decent at it.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate! 🍫

12. Vans or Converse: Vans

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar:I don’t know what any of these words mean.

14. Fluff or Angst: Angst, but only if it’s angst with a happy ending. If not, then fluff.

15. Beach or Forest: I really like the beach but don’t like being around strangers so the forest, I guess.

16. Dogs or Cats: Doggos!

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Clear skies.

18. Cooking or Eating Out: Cooking.

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: LOL do you know who I am? Spicy, of course! 🌶🌶

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Halloween is the best holiday ever!

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too warm: Warm. I can’t stand the cold.

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Flying, just cuz that’d be cool. Or shapeshifting.

23. Animation or Live Action: Animation for sure. Live action looks super fake sometimes tbh. Like the orcs in The Hobbit? Ugh, pass. They should have kept them how they were in lotr. Jungle Book did look pretty great though. Still, I’m going with animation.

24. Paragon or Renegade: Idk what these mean.

25. Baths or Showers: Showers

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Team Cap!!

27. Fantasy or Sci-fi: This is tough. I really like both.

28. Do you have three or four favorite quotes? Lol so I just got done watching Burning Sands on Netflix and there was this really good Frederick Douglass quote in it that goes, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.��� Yep, that’s a good one.

29. YouTube or Netflix: Netflix lol

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter. I don’t think I’ve ever read Percy Jackson.

31. When You Feel Accomplished? *Matt Daddario voice* This is not a complete thought.

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Star Wars

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Hardback. They’re prettier and last longer.

34. Handwriting or Typing: Handwriting can be good sometimes but generally I prefer typing.

35. Velvet or Satin: Velvet

36. Video Games or Movies: Movies

37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? This is another tough one. Either or, I guess. Neither of these options are bad lol.

38. Sunrise or sunset: Sunset

39. What’s your favorite song? I don’t think I have a favorite song ever. But currently I’ve been getting back into Halsey.

40. Horror Movies yes or no: Yes, but no new horror movie actually scares me anymore and that bums me out. Like, horror movies have typically become about making the monster/alien/whatever *look* scary as opposed to making the audience *feel* scared. Does that make sense? Idk It Follows was really good though.

41. Long hair or short hair: Idk that I’ve ever really had short hair. The shortest I’ve had it was mid-neck length. So I’d say I prefer long hair but one of these days it’s gonna be forreal short.

42. Opera or Theatre: Hm another tough question. I think I’m gonna go with opera though.

43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first? Middle Earth. Not even lotr or the hobbit, I would just like to live in that universe. Or like, Neverland with Peter Pan.

44: Are you scared of thunderstorms? Yes, I hate them :(

45. Would you rather travel back in time or into the future? The future, but not by a lot. Just like, 5-10 yrs. Just to pop in, see how things are going lol.

46. What is, in your opinion, the most pointless/unnecessary thing ever invented? Ranch on pizza, ew. Or pineapple on pizza. (I wanted to think of a fun answer for this)

47. Favorite band/artist? William Control/Aiden

48. If you could meet a Famous person that’s either Dead or Alive who would it be? Poe, Selena. Two vastly different people lol. Not Alberto bc I would probably have a heart attack on the spot lmao.

49. How old were you when you had your first kiss? Thirteen, I think. It was bleh.

50. Favorite TV Show: This is impossible for me to answer but I just finished s1 of Into the Badlands and that was pretty great!

51. What is your dream outfit? Like, at least half of whatever’s in Magnus Bane’s wardrobe tbh. I really liked that jacket he wore when they went to Ragnor’s. But I’m too lazy to get all done up like that on the daily.

52. Who would you like to be for a day? Someone who has their shit together? 😅

53. Pick two of your favourite characters from different fantasy universes and shove them into a modern au where they’re rivals from first meeting but slowly become rivals with friends, what would it be like? (They’d still have their powers if they had any, and accustomed to certain terms or slang from their universe) LOL ok so I immediately thought of Mickey and Raphael, and I pictured it as an enemies to friends to lovers AU. They’d piss eachother off so much in the beginning omg. Mickey would totally wanna fight Raphael but Raphael would probably just look bored and roll his eyes which would drive Mickey up the wall that much more lmao. They’ve both been through /a lot/ though and I think they’d connect through that. Also I’m laughing at these two aro boys trying to figure out their feelings for each other. Raphael taking Mickey suit shopping. Raphael wearing one of Mickey’s shirts that have the sleeves torn off akfsjksdk Ok I have to stop or I’ll go on forever.

54. Pineapple on pizza: yes or no? Lol I already answered this but nope!

55. Take a photo/video or be in the photo/video? Take a photo/video

Am I supposed to come up with a new question?? Idk how these things work.

As always, I’ll rb and tag ppl bc that’s the only way mobile let’s me tag anyone :/

[kipjordan]

Tour Down Under, 2017

Full disclosure - there’s not a single photo of the pro Peloton ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Day 1

Well, a series of Jetstar & God’s blunders

I’m still relatively new to cycling, I’d say in the last 6 months I feel strong, really finding my stride, or (pedal) stroke, what have you. And I have these miasmic memories of missing out on #TdU2016 - suddenly everyone was gone and I was whipping my head around rasping “Huh? Td - what?”. And then came the photos, the videos, the enormous envy welling up inside me. 

So, jumping ahead to #TdU2017, I wanted to get there desperately. Thursday night came and I went, gliding on clouds of bliss to Tullamarine, Terminal 4. Lugging that bike bag, savouring it’s weight on my shoulder, leaving deep aching marks there, and deep imbued memories on my brain.

I watched the storm on Thursday 18th of January charge it’s way across the ocean, a cavalry of wind, rain and lightning thrashing it’s mane over the city. So much so in fact that we couldn’t land. A lap of Adelaide later and we returned to Melbourne. So went The Evening of Thursday 18th of January. Spent entirely in a flying metal tube. 

Day 1 

Okay let’s try this again

A 4:30am start with 3 hours sleep, a 6:30am flight complimented by a lukewarm and floppy McDonalds muffin-type breakfast. 8:30am and I’m in Adelaide, the living room of Andy, Caz, Jake and Gen. Jake greet me heartily with a warm “huh? you’re here already?”, his underpants hanging loosely to his lean Adelaidean cyclist leggos. We embraced, he is very kind and lovely. And together we sat in a silent morning daze, on the edge of nihilism in the face of another day, but as the rays of the sun fought their way through the blinds, we shook our heads clear of their dustiness and begun our days.

Bike built (with the help of Andy’s marvellous and very useful Park Tools Work Stand), coffee had and Ebenezer Place along with Treadly Bici Shoppe looked at, I joined Adrian and his crew of mischief makers for a self styled* “recovery ride”. *self styled becomes contextually importante

Here is where the riding begins, and by God, this was no recovery. I had been had. More than less, this was in search of down for the sake of up, short and sharp, anaerobic heart rates, sweat stinging the eyes. And a whole lot of smiles, sweeping descents and laughs. Okay, the photos begin now jeez

This ride was tough, by no means am I a mountain goat on bike, nor is my bike the stiffest $15,000 hot mess an Investment Banker in team kit would put on the card for points - but I reached each crest, and pushed past them. I also learnt the value in compact chainrings and the Dean Jones 32t Cassette Workout Programme, the hard way. 

This gruelling adventure, off the back of the Thursday night storm which lashed the windows of Adelaide, my plane and soul all equally, was exactly what I set out to be a part of. Tour Envy(tm) had been avoided, innate human desire for suffering and self destruction satiated, belly grumbling for nutrition and brain yearning for naps all ticked off in a 420 birds with one stone bonanza.

Big thanks to Alex, Adrian, Cam and Finn for having me along. Glad I could keep up - or that you kept a gentle pace ;)

We managed to make it in time for a little interview with Lachy Morton, hurr’ing and durr’ing as he does, and a little viewing of Thereabouts 3, with Lachy Morton’s hurr’ing and durr’ing offset by brother Gus Morton’s sharp green eyes and we were ready to eat.

Now, there aren’t any photos of my evening: a grand feast, the likes of which have never seen before, was had in the halls of Kopi Tim, Adelaide’s finest vegan friendly Malaysian restaurant. Why no photos? This is a photo bloggo after all you dolt. Well because it was one of those times, so sublime was my company that my finger ne’er did reach for a shutter - nay it didn’t reach for much other than food and my single accompanying beer (cheers to Max who joined my lead-out attack in that regard, and made me not feel like a freak in a bunch of healthy vibrant non-drinking... people who are really wonderful. This is sprawling). And so three meals inhaled down my gullet later we bid adieu to Kopi Tim and slowly rolled through the city, branching off as the intersections came and went. 

A big thank you to Andy, Caz, Jake, Gen, Sam, Fiona, Lana, Max and Faz for making that dinner sit as a trophy in my heart. These are fantastic people with big kind hearts, full of empathy and love. Big ups. 

Day 2

Willunga Return - pro cycling is very boring (terms and conditions apply*)

Because I am a very delicate flower I’m not used to back to back days of long riding, but there was something in the air, something in the water, food, bed linen, that invigorated the spirit and granted bonuses to Strength, Intelligence, Dexterity, Constitution, Wisdom and Charisma. It was essentially the DnD v5 character sheet with a Bard and Cleric char giving squad bonuses on a 5d5 roll that always hits. Duh, it’s a buff.

Now on the vein of me being a flower - I slept in, received messages from Caz along the lines of “where are you?”, “Get up and get here”, “We’re going to leave”, “Oh what?”, “Oops yes you’re right the ride doesn’t leave until 9am”. #ProHours Caz. Anyway, she did save me from myself, and as a flower does I rolled out of bed like a sack of potatoes, rolled into kit, rolled into town, rolled into the cafe and rolled some coffee into my body, then rolled into the hills on my bike, all the fashion of a sack of potatoes. 

This was a day spent cruising, some challenging difficult climbing, some loose gravel but always followed with smiles. That’s very much what this was - a day of smiles.

It’s really just a whole lot of me sitting on Andy’s wheel. I don’t have a single regret - that booty just so fine.

This was a long’un - a series of episodic run-ins with friends from all over, as if the entirety of Melbourne’s cyclist mass had migrated west, diving head first into the summer instead of patiently waiting it’s arrival back home. 

I’m just gushing and stammering madly about how good the entire time was - and thus I’d like to continue thanking people who helped make it so pleasant, in the extreme. Lana, Max, Andy, Tim, Alex, Faz (even though she relentlessly dropped us, forgetting, surely, for the entire day that she wasn’t in fact registered to race in the Tour itself), Caz, Gen and Jake for being a thoroughly entertaining and early rising support crew. And I’d like to thank myself for just being me, you know.

Of the evening itself I can’t remember much, perhaps in a fugue state I was unable to consolidate as my cup overflowth with joy - an analogous situation reminiscent of Socrates story of the Three Sieve:

From Lyceum Philosophy, Happy and Freedom in Socrates & Callicles:

A brief description of the two myths is in order. In the first one, Socrates speaks about those uninitiated ones in Hades who carry water into a leaky jar using a leaky sieve (where the sieve is meant to be the soul). And because they leak, he likens the souls of fools to sieves (493b-c). In the second, he tells of two men, each of whom has many jars. The jars belonging to one of them are sound and full (one with honey, another with milk, etc.). It is also supposed that the sources of each of these things are scarce and so attainable only with much toil. Now the one man, having filled up his jars, doesn’t pour anything more into them and so he can relax. As for the other man, he too has the resources that can be attained, though with difficulty, but his jars are perforated and rotten. And so he’s forced to continually fill them, all day round, or else he suffers frustration and pain (493d-494a). 

And yet Socrates, there I sat, a man with a full jar - happy as Larry with yet more to pour in and spill lavishly around the outside of what I envisage as a mason jar, full of a banana soy protein milkshake. I’ll stick to that, you enjoy your hemlock, bro.

I went to bed happy once again.

*Riding 3 hours to see Sagan not pop a wheelie for 3 seconds rates poorly. Pro cycling is a good view from a couch, and even then, most of the time it’s white noise until the final 10km. So if it’s not friends, or me, I don’t super care. This is just another person’s opinion.

Day 3

Let’s hit the hills, let’s feel sore and go to to a cafe

Hey it was something of a inner-chuff, feeling familiar with Montecute road, enough to pace myself at least to the top of Corkscrew. Having been duped by The Adrian Zanado ‘I don’t know how to run a recovery ride’ recovery ride, I decided not to give Corkscrew another strong burl. This decision was compounded by a half rotten corpse that used to be Mason Hender, that I found at the top (later analysis proved a solid 15km ave [or something], and roughly 300watts ave [I think thats like 8.5watts per kg]).

And on we went, resting here and there, enjoying the calm gentle afternoon. Time to stop by a clearwater babbling brook to watch the fish lazily wave their tails against the flow of the stream felt like something we could do for hours were it not for the immediately pressing of matter of getting Cam the fuck home asap as soon as goddamn fucking possible, holy shit they’re gonna fucking leave without him, shit what they dumped his stuff outside the hotel room? What the fuck, dude we’re like 60km and 1,000m up and away from there, fuck fuck okay lets fucking bomb down the old freeway oh fuck.

After the frantic descending at 70km/ph we finally bombed our way into the CBD to be greeted with this:

Were they happy that Cam’s ride took far far longer than we had possibly anticipated? We will never know, it’s one of those meta physical matters that only death would grant us the answers to. And yet, maybe not even then - who could possibly say.

What I can say is that the meal I had at this cafe was top notch. And out the window went my Melbournian elitism as Adelaide planted itself firmly as a strong contender for Second Capital City (Maybe) after Melbourne (and definitely never Sydney). In this scenario the whole of Canberra has dishonourably retired from the political and economic world after using tax payer money to buy apartments on the Gold Coast.

So in closing...

What can I say about TdU2017 and the people of Adelaide?

My heart swells - I can say that with a keen crystal clarity. I feel much love for the event of TdU, not specifically for the event itself - as well organised as it is. Not specifically for the city of Adelaide which opens it’s arms and accepts us all, allowing us to clog it’s road arteries and veins. It’s not even specifically the love of cycling itself, no - it’s very much the people on the bikes. 

Sure, I don’t know them all, that would be outrageous. But the ones I do know are the best of people. I wrote this earlier, and to repeat myself: I’ve found in them a great kindness, openness and empathy. Immediately they’ve warmed to new people and like their city, open their arms to us. I’m glad to know I’ll see them at least once a year for (hopefully) many many years to come.

Now this isn’t to say us Melbournian’s are the pits - nah we’re pretty great too. Some of the finest were out there, and for every moment I spent with them I am thoroughly appreciative. 

So in closing: smiles, laughter, a heavy pedal, sweat dripping from the tip of my nose after a deep exhale. These small moments made a whole, and it’s a whole I’ll treasure.

[joshuazev]

On everything must go:

I feel like now I need to put a disclaimer before every post that says, “It’s possible that I might completely go over the same topic on accident.”  I have a pretty good idea of what I’ve written, but like I said before, a lot of the same thoughts might be written on the paper.

Now that we’ve cleared that up I want to talk about my new way of critiquing comedy films.  I’m sure it’s far from revolutionary, but I think the best way to take a step back and answer the question, “What is your favorite comedy of all time?” is by trying to remember the movie that made you laugh the most and that you thought was funniest your first time watching it; in theaters, at home, on a plane, whatever.  For example, I can remember the first time I saw “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”  I rented it with my mom and over the course of three days had seen it three times and thought it was funnier and funnier each time.  It was a bit of an anomaly, but I think my age had a lot to do with it too.  I was so young.  I can also remember the first time I saw “40 Year Old Virgin” and “Knocked Up”—both in theaters—and I thought both of those movies were hilarious.  Recently, when I’ve revisited those movies I’ve found them to be less funny throughout their entirety, but I’ve appreciated them more as just overall really good movies that also just happen to be really funny.  Last week I saw “The Big Sick,” and it was very much in the same vein as the more contemporary “Apatow comedy” that’s around a lot, lately.  I thought it was very very funny.  If I saw it again at home, do I think I would feel the same way?  Probably not.  So much of comedies have to do with the unknown.  You have no idea what the joke will be or when it’ll happen, which makes the first time you see a comedy much like the experience of watching someone do stand-up.  The first time is great.  When a stand-up act is good, it’s amazing!  The flow, the energy, the jokes, the laughter.  It’s all one continuous stream that is constantly building you up and then breaking you down.  A comedy is the same: unknown, new, mysterious, etc.  Have you ever been to a comedy club and seen the same comedian do the same set?  It’s kind of shocking.  Granted, the majority of the audience probably hasn’t seen the comedian before, but to the person that has…the jokes are stale.  You know what’s coming.  You know how it’s going to be prepared and then subsequently delivered to you.   I saw Kevin Tate perform twice at Chocolate Sundaes in Los Angeles.  Unbeknownst to me he was a regular.  The first time I saw his set he came on with the jealous boyfriend persona.  It was hilarious.  He had one specific thing about stalking his girl’s photos on Facebook and scrolling through the likes that absolutely brought the house down.  I saw him again at a later date and was excited to see his new material.  Sadly, it was exactly the same, word for word almost, with the exception of some singling out different members of a new audience.  I’ve seen Kevin Hart twice.  I saw him perform, “Let Me Explain” and “What Now?”  Electric.  Both times.  And both of the shows were filmed and later released in theaters and you can guess it, when I saw them on the TV, it was not the same.  It was a present whose contents I already knew.  So, back to movies.  At the end of the day the studios are banking on people seeing the film in theaters.  And I think lately there hasn’t been as much of a trend to buy films on DVD or Blu-Ray.  Maybe that’s to be expected or maybe I’m speaking from my own experience.  When I was really young I might see a comedy twice in the theaters, buy it on DVD, and then watch it a couple times at home.  Oddly enough, when I used to go to the video store with my Mom or Dad and we needed a new movie to see it was always so hard to select a comedy.  We had seen all the good ones already and trying to find the right one to watch was always so difficult.  So, does this change the criteria for a comedy?  Should it have more to do with how you felt the first time you watched it or are there only a few transcendent comedies that stand the test of time?  Like all types of art the answer is purely subjective.  There is no universal opinion.  A lot of people might agree, but no comedy is liked by everyone.  With that being said, if I were to answer what are my five favorite comedies of all time based on the first criteria (how funny was it the first time you saw it) and the second (comedy that lasts) I would say (in no particular order), “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, American Pie, Road Trip, 40 Year Old Virgin, and (Unknown title).”  Just for good measure the funniest stand up set I’ve ever seen live was probably either Dave Chapelle at the Neptune or JB Smoove at the Comedy Parlor in Bellevue (I know I mentioned that in my comedy post earlier in the year).  Funniest person I know?  Danny Schmidt.  Hands down.  That dude is walking, talking stand-up.  And I sound like a broken record, but the longer he doesn’t do stand up the longer we all have to wait to see natural greatness on stage.  My man.

I’ve always been super intrigued by comedic actors in serious roles.  Jim Carrey in “Eternal Sunshine.”  Adam Sandler in “Punch Drunk Love.”  Jamie Foxx in “Ray.”  Monique in “Precious.”  Robin Williams in half of his catalogue.  Will Ferrell in “Everything Must Go.”  Whoopie in “Color Purple.”  I only wish it wasn’t the way of Hollywood to allow most of them one opportunity to showcase their dramatic talents.  

…

I just had a conversation about creativity with one of my brothers and it’s so refreshing to hear the ideas that he had and his plans to bring them to fruition.  I think the opportunity to think creatively; to be able to allow enough space and time in one’s schedule and daily lives to express themselves is one of the most important aspects of human life.  Money is obviously a primary motivation and why wouldn’t it be?  It’s a blessing to be able to profit off of your own ideas.  Anyway, I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise or reveal the idea because it’s not mine to reveal, but this particular dude has a pretty straightforward plan that has some real strong possibilities.  One thing that I think we’ve trained ourselves to do is to think of an idea, hear that it’s been done before, and immediately go on to the next idea instead of spending more time to say, “Yeah, that has been done before, but I think I can add my own flavor to the mix, to make it even more attractive or survive in its own niche.”  Our example was LimeBike in Seattle.  I can’t remember everything that existed before LimeBike, but I think there was a period of CitiBikes and Alaska Airline bikes or something?  My memory fails me.  LimeBike appears to be enjoying some good success (it’s obviously subject to change because of fall and winter coming up).  I couldn’t help but think to myself, “How has no one thought of this before?”  It seems like a simple enough idea.  Put bikes around the city and let people ride them for cheap.  Allow people to set up payment plans and put a balance on their account, so they don’t need to worry about paying every time.  Simple ideas.  Effective ones, too.  I’ve let our conversation be a lesson that every idea can be built on to become more original.  So much of it is a matter of consolidation.  Take the idea of a physical grocery list.  Sometimes we forget to put stuff on there.  Then I heard there are refrigerators that give you an inventory of what’s inside and how much of everything there is.  Then there are grocery list apps.  Not great, but serviceable ones.  Since phones are the status quo there has to be a grocery list app that performs the functions of those special fridges, does what the bad apps do, and can answer the questions of, “Am I running out of milk?  What ingredients do I have to make this curry that I saw online and which ones do I need?  If I’m going vegan, what foods should I buy?”  On that you can probably implement an app that gives you a store inventory depending on where you are and so on.  See?  The blocks have no limit no many you can stack.  If there is already something that does everything I just expressed?  So be it.  We can always add more.  

…

To be seen and not to be seen.  To need space, but to feel alone.  To enjoy attention, but prefer your privacy.  To feel energetic, but remain lethargic.  To love to walk, but to feel paralyzed.  To run along the bridge, but to check the drop.  To be fair, but to be an opportunist.  To be optimistic, but prefer lamenting.  To see the lightbulb turn on, but to let it burn out.  

…

In the midst of getting rid of all these things and being the main means of transportation for taking all of our unneeded shit to Goodwill I have had an epiphany.  Can you have a recurring epiphany?  We have so much unnecessary stuff.  I do.  We do.  We all do.  Sometimes I think of what my house will look like.  I look at my dad’s place as an example, my mom’s place and then my hopeful place.  Am I boring if I have a couple things inside?  Am I too much if I have too many things?  A long time ago I spoke of this vision I have sometimes right before I go to bed.  It’s this idea of a warehouse that is way down the road, but is vast and big and huge and seems to get bigger and bigger.  Well I also have a vision of a white space that just has random things dispersed throughout but in an organized fashion.  I don’t know if this is my vision for my home, but I think it could be similar.  Rooms for specific uses.  Creative zones.  A couple floors.  It’s like a museum exhibit meets any of those really minimal music videos where there is just the artist front and center against a one color background.  Maybe it’s too bougie.  Maybe.  Then again, what house am I getting any time soon?  Ha!