#im begging you.. keep having fun... Live Your Truth... im just a random person on the internet with an opinion

[spacedlexi]

A little while ago you said that you have nuanced feelings on Clem x Louis, and I think that’s how I’d describe my opinion on the ship as well. I was just wondering, what makes you feel that way? Personally, I think they’re romance scenes are cute and sweet, but the whole situation with Marlon makes me unable to see them as anything other than friends. I think they both mean a lot to each other, but the idea that they’d want to date so soon after that whole ordeal’s a bit of a stretch to me.

putting this under a read more so if anyone even Thinks they might get upset about mild louis opinions they can move on and stay happy. seriously people take this stuff too seriously sometimes and i dont want to stir anyone up but also im allowed to have my own opinions OKAY. none of this means i dont like him or them OKAY??

okay

thats pretty much where my opinions are too

the stuff with marlon and the vote is Definitely the biggest thing that influences my opinion about their romance. i always forget just how Cruel he is in EP2 😭 like im on your side dude what aj did was wrong can we just talk about this 😭 but he votes to kick them out. like his reaction about marlon doesnt bother me, its his insistence on kicking them out that does 😔 my clem will always forgive him for it, i believe him when he says he regrets it, but its gonna take some time for trust to build again. for both of them

having only one scene between his apology and the lock in was just not gonna happen for my clem. she was mad at him for it. aj almost died because of it. she might be doing better now but she still has trust issues and her trust was broken just as much as his was. he was fine with never seeing her again, sending her and aj out to their deaths because he struggled to accept his confused feelings about marlon. that pissed my clem off shdfksd she is barely keeping this child alive let alone herself. her face when ajs kicking the wall bro she was like "its so fucking over" 😭 cmon bro look at her shes dead inside have some compassion. and he still hits her with the "i dont know [if i want you to stay]" even after aj gets shot like cmon man...... Cmon.........

and while shes waiting for louis to finally be ready to talk about what happened with marlon (which my clem apologizes for in the dorm, she does genuinely feel bad about it), her and violet are only growing closer, focusing on preparing the school together for the bigger problem. clem knowing vi has her back is a huge source of relief in everything thats going on, and that means a Lot for my clem, who appreciates the idea of having a partner she can rely on. my clem is already sure of her feelings for vi by the time louis apologizes. but she appreciates his apology, and is looking forward to being friends again, because she did genuinely appreciate his friendship at the beginning. but her heart was really truly Broken about everything with marlon and the vote and i think thats gonna take more time to heal. depending on player choice some clems might not even forgive him (some others might say he was right and that clem didnt stop it but... i do not agree with that.. like how could she have... aasim calls mitch a hypocrite for saying the same thing)

the other less important thing is just his general blasé attitude. my clem takes things seriously, but that doesnt mean she doesnt know how to have fun. she Wants to. she just Cant. she has a child to take care of first, and she cares about the survival of the group. its why my clem is looking for someone she knows she can rely on. she never wanted any of this, and she just wants a little support, someone to help take the weight off so she CAN relax. shes so tired 😭. playing with louis while aasim hunts by himself made me feel Dirty 💀 (i literally couldnt do it the first time i felt so bad AASIM WAIT UP). and while i can understand and appreciate his "there might not be a tomorrow so enjoy today" outlook, it cant come at the expense of the group. louis i feel eventually learns this, finding a balance between the two, and Becomes someone clem can rely on. but his change doesnt begin until like.. after the raiders take everyone (because we have to get through the marlon stuff first). and if you save vi, you dont get to see any of it 😔

the thing about these two problems is that, if you were to take them out of this setting and throw them in like, a modern au, suddenly these are not issues anymore. no more life or death. the stakes are a lot lower. so i can see them dating in that scenario and having fun together. they do have cute moments!! but also due to less stakes, theres less to motivate louis to change. and i think they would fundamentally just not click on their worldviews. clem while she can have fun, ultimately takes things seriously, and louis doesnt. that doesnt mean they dont care about each other, and clem definitely appreciates his energy, but its why i see them still ending up as friends instead of romantic partners (esp if vi is around IM SORRY 😭 they just Click too well for me 😔 this is why my messy au exists 💀)

i also understand this is mostly personal preference and some people might like them for these reasons 😭 but the dynamic that they have i prefer as friends personally. theyre supportive of each other and deeply care about each other, just not romantically imo. especially not after the stuff with marlon. and thats ok!!!! i see it a lot like louis' relationship with vi. not romantic. but they Love each other regardless. honestly the reason why i like clem vi and louis as a trio so much is that clem slots between them really well. louis who doesnt take anything seriously, and vi who takes things Too seriously. clem exists between them. knowing having fun is important but also understanding the weight of responsibility. she helps louis become more responsible, and she helps vi chill the fuck out. she brings balance :)

i will say tho louis' "nothing wrong with short and sweet, right?" line was cute he got me there

[miyaniacs]

Mafia AU - Bokuto x fem!reader

A/n: uhmmm sorry for not updating ... i haven’t been motivated to continue this and then i did and forgot that i had this update lol... so here you are. The beginning of the downfall is here. Sooo Tbh it will Kinda depend on your responds to this chapter if it will take months for me to continue it - or days 🙇🏼‍♀️

Chapter 12 - A decision is made

Index ; masterlist ; Chapter 11 - The encounter

Warnings: uhhh... violence? Mentions of guns

Bokutos POV

Monday 12 am

I want to punish him. I want to hurt him the way he hurt her, by messing up her life.

He looks at Ushijima with hate filled eyes, his whole aura shifts when he sees his arrogant smirk.

Why is he so sure of himself?

Does he really think that he, Bokuto, wouldn’t beat the shit out of him, right here in his office?

“Oh and Bokuto - hope you have fun with that hoe.” Ushijima smirks and now Bokuto fully breaks.

“Call her a hoe one more time.” Bokuto hisses. Furious wasn’t enough to describe what he was feeling right now. He was boiling with pure hate, his fist was ready to collide with this arrogant face of the male in front of him. He was ready to sent him straight into the hospital, hell he was even ready to kill him right here.

The one thing that was holding him back was the fact that such a quick death would be way too ‘nice’. He needs to suffer, he wants to break him, makes him feel all the pain in the world. Slowly peeling the skin off his body, until he begs him to finally kill him.

“And what are you doing then? Huh? I’m just telling the truth. She would have went to bed with you straight away the first time you saw her, just to get close to you and get informations.”  Ushijimas face is now almost touching his, sparks flying, both ready to beat each other up. “That’s only because you’d force her to do so.”

He laughs again. What is so funny, was it all a joke to Ushijima? A joke that he ruined your life, forcing you to throw yourself at random man, just to get information out of them? And for what? A small amount of money, comparing to what Ushijima probably owns? Oh he has to deal with the consequences at some point, he has to ... feel the consequences.

He can already see him hanging on a wall, blood dripping off the several cuts on bis body, his arrogance long gone as he looks up at him with eyes, showing that Bokuto did it, that he broke him.

Suddenly he feels someone tugging on his arm and he spins around, taking a few seconds to understand that he is still im the office. The fire in his eyes burning up again as he sees the fearful look on your face. He wants to comfort you and ask what happened, but then the shook took over him. You’re afraid of him.

He takes a few steps back, giving you some room to breath.

He couldn’t talk to you, the knot in his throat hindering him from telling you how sorry he is. Bokuto is lost in his thoughts the whole way back to the car and during the drive.

He is filled with guilt.

He hates himself for showing you this side of him.

All he ever wanted was to be a save space for you, to make you feel home and at peace.

He never wanted you to feel fear when being with him.

He has to do something and he knows exactly what.

“Go inside, I have to discuss something with the boss.” He says without looking at you his eyes still fixed on the street.

“Kou… let me explain… please.”

His heart breaks, you really feel the need to explain? To apologize? When he is the one that hurt you?

“Later.” He says way to cold for his own liking, but he couldn’t start crying now, even though he feels like it. He swallows the emotions that start to well up inside of him “I promise we talk later.” Placing his hands on your face he softens. You’re so beautiful.

He frowns when he sees small tears rolling down your cheeks.

No, why are you crying? He slightly starts panicking inside but tries to not show it. “Don’t cry my love.”

“I’m sorry.”  Here you go, apologizing for nothing, at last he doesn’t see a reason why your should apologize to him.

“No, don’t apologise. Non of this is your fault. I should have known better. You already told me how you’ve met Ushijima. It was my fault.”

Regret fills him up again.

Why was he so stupid?

He walked right into Ushijimas trap.

And now you were afraid of him.

He wasn’t good for you.

He wasn’t the right one for you.

The life he lives wasn’t one for you.

He had to get you out of this whole mess, you deserve so much better than this.

Even if that means, for him to leave your life completely.

He leans in for one last kiss.

“No. Don’t say anything. I promise you, you will never see me like this again. I can’t bear knowing that you’re afraid of me, even if it’s only a tiny little bit of you fearing me.” He mumbles before kissing you again. “Now please, get inside. And I hope to find you in one of my sweatshirts when I get back home.”

He hated lying to you.

But he had to.

“Okay, I can’t promise not to take your Vetements one tough.” You laugh and he smiles.

“Whatever I own is yours.”

My heart, my home, my car, my everything, he’ll make sure that you are save when he wasn’t with you anymore.

His cheerful smile dropped the second you were out of sight, he speeds through the city, not caring about the red lights or the other cars.

Monday 3 pm

“Sorry the Boss isn’t here right now.” One for the guards says.

Bokuto rolls his eyes and walks around in the empty office.

“What are you-“ the guard begins, “ I write him a note.” Bokuto huffs and scribbles something on a piece of paper.

“Make sure to keep Y/n save.”

He storms out of the building.

The Adlers really think they could simply tick him and the others? By putting Y/n in his life to spy on them? Are they really that desperate to involve such an innocent and pure soul as you into all of this?

The hate he felt for them just increased the more time he got to spent with you. Your pure soul lightens up his day, he smiles whenever he looks at you, his heart warms whenever he sees your smile, when he hears your laugh it’s the sweetest sound he has ever heard. All those days he got to spent with you for now, have been the best days of his life.

And how can such a beautiful person like you, work in such a dark world.

This isn’t a world that’s meant for you.

Sure he knows that you’re strong... but he isn’t stupid.

He can see that all of this is just a mask, you got used to this life, but it is not the life you wanted to be involved in. All your sarcasm, the cold look in your eyes, the raised eyebrow with that light smirk playing on you lips, whenever someone is saying something that could definitely get them into jail.

It is all an act.

And he knows that you know that he can see right through it.

Those nights he spent awake next to you, making sure to reassuring you that everything is alright and that he is right next to you, trying to keep all those nightmares away from you. He sees how you turn in your sleep, how your face frowns, he hears all those small no’s. And it breaks his heart whenever he feels your hands grabbing his shirt, clinging on him, burring your face in his chest while you whimper something only you can understand, your whole body shaking out of fear of whatever hunts you in your dreams.

Sure, you play tough, but he knows that deep inside your heart you want to leave all of this behind.

Enough was enough and he certainly had enough.

He takes his phone and type three small words before getting out of his car.

Opening up the trunk he pulled off the flooring revealing countless of guns and knifes.

It was a true old fashioned kamikaze mission, but he didn’t care.

Putting two of the small guns in the back of his pants, he grabs the loaded submachine gun in one hand, takes a deep breath and opens the door.

I’ll get you out of all of this, you’ll be able to live a normal life again, with or without me.

And he pulls the trigger, shooting the first guard.

Your POV

You stand in front of the big window, looking down at the passing people and cars, always looking out for one specific black one, but you couldn’t spot it. The longer you wait, the more restless you get, Bokuto was away for way too long now, he would have told you if it would take longer right?

So why haven’t he come back home now.

Your phone vibrates, before you could check it, you hear the door burst open.

“BOKUTO?!” You can hear Atsumu call out.

“Atsumu?” You walk over to him.

“Where is he?” The person next to him, Sakura asks.

“I was about to ask you the same thing, he dropped me off and told me he has something to do... but that was hours ago...” you mumble the next part, “ You... you don’t know where he is?”

“Does it look like we do?! The Boss is sending all of us out to find him!” Atsumu growls.

“Tell us everything that happened today.” Sakusa demands and you begin talking, describing the whole situation that happened with Ushijima and how Bokuto behaved slightly strange the way back to his.

The three of you stare at each other after you’ve finished and your attentions shifts to the TV.

“BREAKING NEWS - Countless of shots have been heard from the Casino, related to the infamous Adlers, we’re live - Cassie, what do you know?

‘ We all know nothing, civilians could all leave, all of them are talking about only one men, entering the building. The police is still clueless, but a few minutes ago, the shooting stopped and -“

“FUCK!” Atsumu screams and he and Sakusa run out of the door, “YOU STAY HERE!” He shouts before pulling out his phone already calling someone.

No. No. No no no. This can’t be real.

Your mind is racing while you collect your things and rush out of the apartment.

If there is one small chance that Bokuto is still alive, you have to take it, you had to save him at all costs. Even if it means breaking his heart and revealing everything... you just have to everything you can.

Looking down at your phone, you remember the message you got.

From: Bokuto

Please remember that I will always love you.

@tendouthighs ,  @lilacshouko​@softhourswithseb​ ​@theperksofcoffee ​@cuddlesslut @shhhlikeme​​, @kynyta​​ @yammmers​  @asahi-is-jesus-periodt​​ @hxnni-bxnni​​ @theduvetpirate​​ @chromaticstudio​​@gywjd0131​​​ @haikyuusimp91​​​ @kara-grayson04 @saucysamu​​ @brokeyiam​ ​

[syubub]

YOONGI OPEN READING

This idea was suggested by an awesome as to do a reading to just vibe with the energy and see what they have to say! Its such a cool idea and I think its such a fun way to do a reading!

Disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and is just my interpretation of the cards!!

Essentially what I did here was connect with his energy and let him speak for himself. When I initiated the connection I made it clear that there was no expectation and that I just wanted him to talk and give any messages or talk about random shit. Random shit he talked for sure. I shuffled all the decks that I was drawn to and asked him to guide me for how many times to shuffle and how many cards to pull.

I wrote down all the messages I got on my little notepad thing. Sometimes when I get messages they are kind of in a picture form? Yoongi kept showing me/ saying shit about tangerines. Idk maybe he's eating them right now or he wants everyone to know that he loves them more than life itself? Idk man. He also made a point to say that green is a lucky color and showed me an old green t-shirt? I don't know what exactly he was going for there but oki friendo. He also wanted everyone to know that there is a guitar video coming soon and I saw the number 21 (maybe its a 21 minute video or something like that?) but then he directly followed it up with, "don't believe that". Umm? okay. Another message was "find yourself" this was the only message that was just auditory? I think that speaks for itself.

He also showed me a scene of him sitting crossleged on the floor looking out at an empty stadium with something blue in his hand? But it sounds like a concert bc you can hear army scream and you can kinda see the army bombs? I can't tell if its him practicing at an empty stadium or just him sitting in his room imaging all this. He has army on the brain very very often. He misses performing.

Onto cards. All the cards I pulled I asked for help interpreting what they mean because I didn't ask any questions. I just let him do his thing and asked him to explain. To start off. Homeboy has been in the throws of baby fever lately. He sees a kid and he starts thinking about having a child. Its really cute and he's kinda embarrassed about it? Like a little bit blushed. Cute.

Another thing that was prominent was that yoongi is definitely learning to embrace all sides of himself. He's in that empress energy and you heckin bet he's feeling himself. He's also a little inpatient as of right now. He is thinking of some new business ventures as well (hello Skewerd by the Skewer. Please make it a thing yoongi and jk im begging you) He kinda "shrugged" when I asked him what he was thinking of doing. He's just kinda thinking. He's also changing some stuff up in his life. For some reason he keeps pointing me to appearance/fashion. Maybe some new piercings or a tattoo (this is me hoping and subtly telling him that he should get more piercings and some tats lol) or more specifically wardrobe? Maybe buying some new clothes or trying a new style?

He's also going back through his past and tying up old loose ends? He's reconciling with his past and really reminiscing on the beginnings of bts. He's very nostalgic and wants everyone to know that he's proud of the teamwork that bts have together and the teamwork bts has with army. (Hes basically a sappy fuck rn)

LISTEN UP YOONGI HAS THINGS TO SAY

He wants to tell everyone to have hope and to not shut down in this time? Its like he wants to encourage us all to use this chaotic time to grow as people and live in spite of the chaos that surrounds us! We can still fly! We can still bloom! Its not over until its over and we need to reflect on who we want to be and take the steps to get there!

Most of this is just him wanting to reassure everyone that good things are coming and that healing is coming!! Lol as I'm typing this trying to explain all this, I hear, "anything is possible when we are together" and he's all happy and mushy. I'm not crying you are.

Lol another thing is he wants us all to go to therapy. I get the sense that he understands how hard things have been for people lately and he just wants everyone to be okay. If nothing else he wants us to pay attention to our hearts and what they need.

He's also getting more and more woke as the days go on. He's also urging us all to find our soul family! You do that by listening to your heart and being the person you are at your core. Living your truth.

As I was parting I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to say and he said, "Tell them I love them" CUTE! His energy was super talkative and I think his energy was specifically receptive to just havin a good ole chat. He also showed me tiny little blue forget-me-nots. They look like this

Theres so much to this reading and he was so so so chatty so this was a fun thing! Yoongo boongo is a sweet guy who wishes everyone happiness!

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

[5hfanfiction]

Say You Won't Let Go - Chapter 2

Camila was loving her time in Texas with Ally. Her family has treated Camila like one of their own. They even went as far as getting a couple Christmas gifts for the younger Latina girl, so she wouldn’t be left out when everyone was opening presents. Camila felt loved and safe around them. A safety she hasn’t felt in a while.

It also helps that she’s been talking to Lauren Jauregui from time to time. Lauren has been so nice, and sweet. Incredibly supportive about the channel. On top of all that, she’s hilarious. Every time they speak Camila has a lasting smile.

It was the day before New Years Eve, Camila and Ally were getting ready to go to the movies. Camila’s mind kept wandering to Lauren. When Lauren first wrote to her on twitter she freaked out. She couldn’t help but to tell Lauren over and over how amazing she was. Her phone started buzzing, and her smile grew.

Lauren: When do I get to see that beautiful face? 😏

KC: lol what makes u think im beautiful?

Lauren: well we’ve been DMing for about 2 weeks, & I conclude that even if ur not physically what the world would deem as beautiful, ur personality shines brighter than anything. Ur so funny, and crazy nice. Ur passion for music is undeniable. Thats beautiful. Thats u.

KC: Ur very charming Lauren. im not sure if that’s a good thing 🤔

Lauren: Its good, trust me. Not everyone gets this side of me. Lol

Lauren: Don’t u think u gotta show ur face eventually?

KC: Maybe, idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lauren: What are u going to do?

KC: What do u mean?

Lauren: Like with ur voice? Do u want to be bigger than “youtube star?”

KC: I haven’t thought about it. I never thought I’d be good enough for being anything else really. I never even thought I’d have more than 100 followers if im being honest.

Lauren: lol u really thought that? ur crazy gifted.

KC: I cant with ur compliments.

Lauren: telling the truth darling. ur voice is amazing, I’m sure u r beautiful. Ur chill af, with occasional fan girling, ur modest, ur a dork, ur sweet. Ur what this industry needs. Ur what girls will look up to, & boys would want to bring home to meet mom. The whole package.

KC: ahhh ur killing me. Seriously ur words are unbelievable. All this coming from YOU.

KC: Ur so beautiful.

KC: Not ur looks

KC: I mean, yes ur beautiful like that

KC: Why am I so awkward…

Lauren: lol Relax chicken, breathe.

KC: I mean, ur mind. ur words are kind, and inspiring.

Lauren: lol I’m just being honest dork

KC: atleast I’m a cute talented dork 😄

Lauren: Eh, ur ok

KC: lmao sure jan. do the words “unreasonably obsessed” sound familiar?

Lauren: doesn’t ring a bell

KC: Oh really? K. I guess I’ll be leaving! It was nice talking to u.

Lauren: Wait wait, no no. Don’t go. I’m joking

KC: New phone 📱 who dis?

Lauren: Lmao ur an idiot.

KC: 👋🏻

Lauren: Fine if that’s what u want KC. It was nice talking u. Just wanted to let u know I actually think ur talented. I hope u get everything u want in this world.

KC: Seriously, all jokes aside. Thank u, so much Lauren. It means alot. I’m happy I fan girl less when you hmu. Sometimes I’m like “DID LAUREN JUST SLIDE IN MY DMS?” Cus like You’re YOU, & I’m just me. And You telling me I have a nice voice, it’s like AHHHHH

Lauren: You’re not JUST you…you’re amazing.

KC: Uhhh 🙈 Thank you Laur, but I gotta go, going to the movies.

Lauren: Ok KC, hmu later? I enjoy talking to you. :D have a good night.

KC: Potassium

Lauren: what are u talking about?

KC: Potassium. What’s the periodic symbol?

Lauren: K? ….. OH! Wow, u are really a dork. Wow. Bye now. lol 😂

—————————-

It was around 11pm when Ally and Camila left the movie theater. Ally was hungry and Camila never turned down food, so they decided to stop at the Waffle house. They were browsing the menu when Camila got a twitter notification.

@LaurenJauregui: Yooo @KC_LoveOnly where’s that new cover thooo?

She smiled reading the tweet. She had been done with the video days ago, but she was nervous about uploading it knowing that a specific green eyed pop star would watch it. On top of that she decided to cover one of The Holy Trinity’s songs.

@KC_LoveOnly: Girl, when I know that ur a part of my audience, I GOT to make sure its peeeerrrfffecctt!! @LaurenJauregui

“Ally Brooke? Is that you!?!” Camila heard someone behind her say. Ally squealed hopping up from her seat. When Camila turned around her mouth hit the ground. She saw Ally hugging none other than 1/3 of The Holy Trinity, Normani Kordei.

Ally and Normani were best friends before Normani moved to Miami. They talked for a couple months before losing touch.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be taking over the world with your voice?” Ally asked excitedly.

Normani laughed, “Well we finally got a break for the holidays, my family came here.”

“Are you eating here alone?” Ally asked noticing no one was with Normani.

“I was going to get some food and head home” she replied.

“No! Come sit with us!” Normani looked towards Ally’s table, eyeing Camila.

“Is she going to be okay?” she asked Ally, noticing Camila was stunned and still had her mouth open.

“Oh, that’s my best friend. I guess she might be a little star struck.” Ally snapped her fingers in front of Camila, who shook herself out of the shock she was in.

Normani laughed while sitting down next to Ally. Camila thought Normani’s smile could kill her.

“I’m Normani,” she reached her hand out to shake Camila’s.

“Y-yeah, I know. I mean, how can I not? You’re you!” Camila rambled. “I’m Camila Cabello.” She said shaking Normani’s hand.

“You’re cute Camila. Relax though, I’m not going to bite.” Camila ducked her head down shyly. “You’re lucky you’re not meeting my bandmates, they can be a little…rowdy. They might bite.” Normani joked, trying to put Camila at ease.

Normani and Ally caught up for a bit while they ate. Normani made sure to include Camila into the conversation, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. Camila was surprised to see how down to earth Normani was.

“Hey, you girls should come over my house for a little. We can continue to catch up!” Normani suggested.

“That would be so much fun!” Ally exclaimed.

“Are you sure it’s okay if I come? I don’t want to intrude on your friendship reconnection. I can just go back to Ally’s,” Camila said timidly.

“Seriously? Talking to Ally and you has made me feel so…normal. I could use some normality. So yes, I’m inviting you to my house. We will talk, watch a movie, just hangout. Pleasssse come!” Normani begged Camila.

“Okay, okay!”

——————————–

When the girls got to Normani’s house she gave them a quick tour. Ally got to see Normani’s parents after years. She was happy that they still recognized her, and they were glad she was doing well.

They reached Normani’s room, and Camila launched herself onto the king-sized bed.

“This is sooooo comfy,” she said while rolling around. “Adopt me Normani.”

Ally and Normani laughed. Ally pushed Camila over to the other side of bed, and made herself comfortable. Normani turned on the TV, and started browsing Netflix sitting between the two girls.

“So how did you two meet?” she asked the girls, focusing on finding something to watch.

“College—Friends!” Camila shouted. “Please put on Friends. I love it.”

Normani chuckled at her and put on a random episode.

“As she was saying,” Ally continued, “We met in college.”

“Cool, so we are all the same age?” Normani said unsure.

“No, she’s almost two years younger than us. I didn’t want to live on campus and my past roommates were all crazy. I couldn’t afford living on my own, Camila had an ad looking for a roommate. I thought it was a good idea to get to know a roommate before having to live with them.” Ally explained.

“She fell in love with my dorky charm,” Camila said still focused on the TV.

“It’s true,” Ally joked, “Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?!” Camila threw her hands up, “Without my nerdy clumsiness, we would’ve never been roommates! I wouldn’t have the world’s best friend. I’d be stuck with Shawn. I love him, but he’s NOT you! I wouldn’t be sitting here enjoying Friends.” She exclaimed.

“You’d still be watching Friends somewhere. Relax. I love you, I’m glad we met.” Ally reassured her.

“Hmmph,” Camila folded her arms turning back to the TV.

Normani laughed at the two girls. “You go to Miami University and you didn’t come to see me?”

“Girl, you were touring by that time,” Ally responded. “How did all that happen by the way? The Holy freaking Trinity!”

Normani chuckled, “Ahhhh, where do I start?”

“Well, I know how you all met. We heard your recent interview,” Ally said.

“Oh, keeping tabs on me?” Normani joked.

At the sound of the interview Camila’s head shot up. She didn’t want Ally to tell Normani about KC. She thought it might be odd, and look bad. They mentioned her in an interview, then she somehow manages to bump into one of them.

“Sorry but no. Actually, Mila—”

“I just stumbled on it, and showed her.” Camila cut Ally off, giving her a pleading look. Ally nodded in understanding.

“It’s cool, happy to be in the company of a fan,” Normani winked at Camila. “Well, I don’t know what to add to that. After meeting Demi, the next day she introduced us to Simon Cowell. He was concerned that we were too young. Me and Lauren were 16, and Dinah freaking 15.”

“Was he mean like on TV?” Camila asked.

“Opposite, he so sweet. We are signed to his label now, throughout the whole process he was so helpful. I mean we were just teenagers trying to chase our dream.” Normani said. “Before signing a contract there was a lot of back and forward with our parents, because of school.”

“That’s awesome!” Camila said.

“Yeah!” She paused thinking fondly of the memories. “It took a lot to get where we are, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

“That’s really cool, I’m so happy for you.” Ally said, hugging her old friend.

“Thank you, Ally.” Normani smiled into the hug.

After the embrace, the girls continued talking. Normani was elated to reconnect with Ally, but she was happier to get to know Camila. She thought the younger girl was adorable and dorky. Camila reminded Normani of Dinah.

The talking died down after about an hour, and the girls watched Friends. It took Ally about 2 episodes before she fell asleep.

“We should probably get going,” Camila said pointing out a sleeping Ally.

“Don’t be silly, stay the night,” Normani said sleepily. “I’ll get you some clothes to sleep in.”

She rubbed her eyes getting off the bed and rummaged through her draws. She pulled out a muscle tank top, and white shorts, handing them to Camila.

“Thank you, Normani. For everything, for letting a stranger stay here—”

“Stop, it’s all okay.” Normani cut her off, as she placed a reassuring hand on Camila’s shoulder. “You’re chill. A little quirky, but cool. It’s nice hanging out with people who aren’t trying to use me.”

“Thank you,” Camila replied giving her a hug.

When she let go of Normani she went to get changed in the bathroom. By the time she got out, Normani was already sleeping.

Camila shut the TV off and got comfortable in bed. She kept plenty of space between herself and Normani, not wanting to wake the older girl up while she used her phone.

She was on tumblr for about an hour, before she put on her headphones and decided to watch her video one more time before uploading it.

In the middle of her video, she got a text from Kellz. They’ve been talking every day since they exchanged numbers. He’s a nice guy. A bit insane, but she loved how care free he lived.

Kellz🎸: I think I just broke my face dude

Milz🎶: What do you mean?

Kellz🎸: I was just drunk fucking around. Running on cars. Fell smashed my face into the ground.

Milz🎶: Oh what different lives we live.

Kellz🎸: Lmao truu. So I’m playing a show in Miami in a couple weeks, u coming right? U get to see how I live first hand.

Milz🎶: For sure, just don’t let me break my face.

Kellz🎸: No promises Milz.

Milz🎶: Oh godddd

Kellz🎸: Turns out, my face isn’t the only thing I broke. Broke my arm to lol

Milz🎶: I’m rethinking this friendship, I think I’m going to get hurt just by being friends with you

Milz🎶: I’m rethinking this friendship, I think I’m going to get hurt just by being friends with you.

Kellz🎸: Nahhhh, u can’t leave me. We haven’t recorded a song yet!

Milz🎶: I thought we were merely writing a song? Now we are recording one?

Kellz🎸: Hell yeah! I can’t wait to chill with u! Explore that creative cool brain of urs.

Milz🎶: I’m not so sure about cool? Lol

Kellz🎸: Bro, just by the things you say when we text, I can tell ur crazy creative. That’s cool as fuck.

Camila felt the bed vibrating followed by an obnoxiously loud ring. After a couple of rings, she felt Normani shuffle around the bed.

“Girl don’t give me a reason to hate you, pick up that damn phone,” Normani grumbled.

Camila held back a laugh, “It’s not mine, grumpy.”

Normani huffed feeling around the bed for her phone. When she found it, she answered annoyed “You better be dying, there is no other reason to be calling at this ungodly hour!” Her toned soften after a moment. “Of course, babe. Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, pausing allowing the other person to talk. “Okay, you know where the spare key is. I love you.” She hung up, and looked at Camila.

“I’m sorry for being grouchy, I don’t like to be woken up. But why are you still awake? Is everything okay?” She said, concerned laced in her voice.

Camila pinched her cheeks, “Care about me already?!” she joked. “I just couldn’t sleep.” Camila yawned, “But I guess I’m getting tired now. Everything okay with your phone call?”

Normani nodded, “Yeah, my best friend is coming in a couple hours. I’m going to head back to sleep until she gets here.” She snuggled up to Ally. “Get some sleep Mila, goodnight.”

“Night Normani.”

Camila posted her video before turning off her phone. She got comfortable and headed to sleep. She was excited to meet one of Normani’s friends, hopefully they were just as chill.

———————————

Lauren was loving every minute of being home. She didn’t realize how much she missed her family. She missed her mother’s forehead kisses, and her father’s bear hugs. She missed hanging out with her siblings, Taylor and Chris. She was happy to see everyone’s faces when they opened Christmas presents from her.

She was more than happy to be talking to KC every so often. She thought the girl was talented, and after talking she liked her dorky personality. She hoped to see her face, but KC won’t let up.

It’s the day before New Year’s Eve, and she was schedule to make a club appearance. She was rummaging through her closet looking for something to wear for tonight when her sister came in and jumped on her bed. “So, what are your plans for tonight?”

“I’m kind of hosting this party at some club. Luckily, it’s not a singing job, just a partying one.” Lauren said, doing a little dance.

“Just don’t party too hard, you know dad doesn’t like your ‘Bad Girl” image. It certainly doesn’t help when you’re actually out there partying.“

Lauren and her dad have had their fair share of arguments about her bad girl tendencies. She’s never been one for rules, even when she was younger. When she went to California for the spring break where she met Dinah, her dad said no but she left anyways. She was grounded until that summer. "Dad will get over it like he always does.” She told Taylor.

Lauren pulled out her phone to listen to KC while she got ready to go. She was bummed when she noticed that KC hasn’t posted a new video since The Holy Trinity interview. Lauren hoped that didn’t scare her away.

@LaurenJauregui: Yooo @KC_LoveOnly where’s that new cover thooo?

Lauren smiled at her phone before locking it and tossing it on her bed. She continued looking through her clothes before picking out a cute black velvet dress.

After she showered, did her makeup, and got into her dress she took a picture for twitter. She was about to post when she got a tweet from K.C

@KC_LoveOnly: Girl, when I know that ur a part of my audience, I GOT to make sure its peeeerrrfffecctt!! @LaurenJauregui

Lauren laughed, and continued to posted her picture.

@LaurenJauregui: We outttttt tonight! 🎉

————————————

It was about 3:30 in the morning and Lauren was stumbling home. While at the club she ran into her old friend Vero. They danced all night and drank way too much.

They made a trip to the bathroom where Vero gave Lauren some coke. It wasn’t her first time doing it, within minutes she was dangerously high.

“Shhhit” Lauren cursed, trying to unlock her front door. She didn’t understand why she had so many keys, but most of all she couldn’t figure out which one opened her door.

“Ahhhhhh, that’s the one!” she said, tip toeing into her living room.

She whispered, “Honey! I’m home,” as she stumbled into an end table knocking over a lamp.

“Shhhhhh! You’re going to wake up papa, you stupid lamp!” she whispered shouted at it, while giggling. She heard someone clear their throat. When she turned around she was met with her fathers disappointed look. “Too late,” she laughed.

“Lauren, if you’re going to come home drunk at 3 in the morning can you at least keep it down. What kind of influence do you think this behavior is on your sister?”

Lauren immediately got angry. She thought she was a great influence on Taylor. She followed her dreams, and became an accomplished artist. Everything she does is for her family.

“I’m a suspectful..susss..successful influence on her.” She stated drunkenly, while her dad looked at her unimpressed, adding to her anger. She tossed her purse onto the sofa, and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Dad whatdoya w-want from me? I’m in what is probably the biggest girl group of this time!” she grinned widely, pleased with her career. “Everyone should be proud and inspired by me” she slurred.

“How can I be proud when I have to sit back and see pictures of my little girl stumbling out of clubs? I just want you to be careful. I don’t want you to do anything stupid Lauren.” Her dad sighed.

“I just go out to blow off steam—”

He cut her off, “What steam? You’re in the biggest girl group!” he mocked.

“Whatever dad. Just let me sssleep this off. Pleasee, yell at me later. You give me a headache” she groaned, rubbing her temples.

He sighed in defeat. “Fine, but here…don’t forget your things.” He picked up her bag to hand it to her. “Listen Mija, I love you and please know I’m proud of –” He stopped when he noticed some things spilling out of the purse. Lauren eyes grew wide when I saw the little baggy of white powder drop in front of his feet.

“Lauren, are you fucking kidding me? You’re stupid enough to bring drugs into my house? Around your siblings?” She looked down, not baring to see the disappointment in his eyes. “You know what! Get the hell out!”

She looked at him shocked, “What do you mean? Where am I supposed to go? It’s practically New Years Eve!”

“I don’t care where you go, but you’re not fucking staying here. I’m not dealing with your bullshit.” He spat. He reached down and grabbed the baggy before walking to the kitchen. “Go with the person who gave you this for all I fucking care.”

Lauren turned around not really knowing what do, she punched the wall until her hand was swollen. She took out her phone about to call the only person she can think of when her brother came downstairs.

“What’s going on Lauren?” Chris asked sleepily rubbing his eyes. She didn’t say anything but bury her face into his chest, as he wrapped his arms around her.

He never seen her this upset before, he didn’t know what to do but he knew not to press the issue.

“Can you take me to the airport?” she mumbled into him. He nodded, releasing her and headed up the stairs to grab his keys. Lauren brought the phone to her ear praying that it doesn’t go to voicemail.

“You better be dying, there is no other reason to be calling at this ungodly hour.”

“Is that offer to go to Texas still available?” Lauren sniffled.

“Of course, babe. Do you want to talk about it?” Normani asked.

“Not really.”

—————————-

Lauren was sitting at the airport, she luckily didn’t have to deal with paparazzi being that it was late. She did have to wait for her plane to be ready, due to the late notice. She sobered up as best to her abilities, which meant puking her guts out in the airport bathroom, and drinking water.

She scrolled through tumblr trying to push the thoughts of her argument with her dad out of her mind. She quickly forgot about everything when she got a notification that KC uploaded a new video. She clicked to watch the video:

“Hey pumkins! As promised I’m here to answer a few questions. I took the liberty to write down them down, as well as the answer. Hope you like!” KC said.

She had written down the questions on notecards with the answers on the back, and held them to the camera.

1. What do you look like?

She turned the card over and showed a horrible drawing of a girl stick figure. The answer read, “I look like a person. I have hair, eyes, a mouth, nose. The whole shebang.”

2. Where are you from?

“I grew up in Florida. I’m just around here and there ;)”

3. What inspires you?

“People. Love. Art itself.”

4. Who are some of your favorite musicians?

“I think Ed Sheeran is fantastic. And Taylor Swift influences me to write.”

5. What do you do?

“Well, this. I post videos, but I guess if you’re asking besides this…I go to college.”

“Okay,” she spoke, “I think that’s enough questions. I must keep some mystery to me. It’s a part of my charm, don’t you think?” She joked. “As many of you know a very talented girl group said they liked my channel. One girl specifically, so this next cover is for her.”

She started strumming.

I don’t admit it, I play it cool

But every minute, that I’m with you

I feel the fever, and I won’t lie

I break a sweat.

My body’s telling,

All the secrets I ain’t told you yet.

I struggle to contain,

The love that’s in my veins,

And how it circulates.

If you could take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

If you could feel my heart beat now,

It would hit you like a sledgehammer.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

You just don’t let up, don’t let up.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

But you lift me up, lift me up.

If you take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

So close together, so far apart.

You’re turning me on,

And my fires waiting for your spark.

I struggle to contain,

The love that’s in my veins,

And how it circulates.

If you could take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

If you could feel my heart beat now,

It would hit you like a sledgehammer.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

You just don’t let up, don’t let up.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

But you lift me up, lift me up.

If you take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

The truth is out, no stopping now.

I’m getting closer.

I’ve had enough, undress my love.

I’m coming over.

If you could take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

Ooooh

If you take my pulse right now,

It would feel like a sledgehammer.

Hammer, Hammerrrr

If you take my puuuulse

If you could take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

If you could feel my heart beat now,

It would hit you like a sledgehammer.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

You just don’t let up, don’t let up.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

But you lift me up, lift me up.

If you take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

She finished strumming, “Well I hope you enjoyed it. Remember, love only.”

Lauren heard a voice clear their throat behind her, “Excuse me, Miss Jauregui the plane is ready.”

“Thank you,” she replied getting up from her seat. She went outside towards the plane, and tweeting something before getting on.

@LaurenJauregui: Listen to @KC_LoveOnly ’s new cover. I’m in love! 😍  I think you’ll like the song choice. She’s amazing, follow her!!