#if nobody's going to ask me something then i'm going to ask me something

[yaren23]

Charles leclerc x footballer!reader

Faceclaim: aitana bonmati

A short one!!!! It's been so long since I've made a smau. I'm getting rusty ig lol. Enjoy ❤️

you can send me smau requests!

Y/nuser

Liked by pedri,laliga,charles_leclerc and 3.679.729 others

Ynuser a memorable night 🏆

Comments

User1 my GOAT 🐐

charles_leclerc user1 correction. My goat!

User2 charles_leclerc calm ur tits dude ain't nobody gonna steal her damn

arthur_leclerc user2 he can't help it

charles_leclerc arthur_leclerc fuck you?

pedri ❤️💙Likedbyuser

fcbfemeni we're so proud of you! ❤️💙 Likedbyuser

carlossainz55 congrats 👏 (come to real madrid)

Y/nuser carlossainz55 thank you chili! (It'll never happen)

carlossainz55 y/nuser 😞

_rl9 👏👏👏 likedbyuser

User3 _rl9 such a grandpa

lilymhe omg my wife! success looks good on you as always 🤩

charles_leclerc lilymhe your? wife?

lilymhe charles_leclerc you got a problem with it mr. I'm stupid ?

charles_leclerc alex_albon she's being mean again :(

alex_albon charles_leclerc don't fight her you won't win

Y/nuser lilymhe I LOVE YOU MY DARLING WIFE

lewishamilton proud of you y/n! To many more trophies 🏆🍻 likedbyuser

User4 raw. next question

Charles_leclerc

Liked by y/nuser, lando, leclerc_pascale and 2.680.622 others

charles_leclerc my other(and better footballer) half won again!

Comments

Y/nuser my love everybody is a better footballer than you...

User4 lmaoo no lie there

charles_leclerc why's everyone being mean to me today???!!??

lando let's gooooooo

maxverstappen1 she's the talented one in your relationship

charles_leclerc maxverstappen1 no one asked for your opinion sid the sloth go away

User5 lmaooo not sid the sloth

leclerc_pascale proud of you my daughter! I love you both ❤️

Y/nuser leclerc_pascale thank you maman❤️❤️❤️

sebastianvettel 🐝💛 likedbyuser

User6 not the bees again..

Y/nuser

Liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63,lando and 2.629.619 others

Y/nuser charlie trying to be me (at least he looks good while doing it)

Comments

charles_leclerc I DO look good 😏😏 (there was no need for the second pic)

lando I love making fun of charles days!

charles_leclerc lando well fuck you too

maxverstappen1 thank god he didn't pick football

User7 lmaooo her favorite hobby is roasting charles

User8 bro was definitely not born to play football 💀

User9 this ken's job is to look good

charles_leclerc

Liked by y/nuser, lorenzotl, francisca.cgomes and 2.739.618 others

charles_leclerc 🤍

Comments

francisca.cgomes go away no one wants to see your face! Post my gf only

charles_leclerc I'm so tired atp..

User1 charles_leclerc bro lost the battle😞💔

Y/nuser love love loveeeee youuu 🤍

User2 okay we get it damn be considerate there's lonely people here...

carlossainz55 user2 yeah like lando

lando carlossainz55 I'm not lonely!?!?

User3 lando that's something a lonely person would say

leclerc_pascale ❤️❤️❤️

oscarpiastri mom and dad!!

User3 my parentssssss

User4 my favorite couple

Thank you💙

[witherby]

Thinking naughty Brucie Wayne thoughts cause you KNOW he sluts around in order to maintain that playboy reputation.

Imagining Brucie on an evening gossip show and he's playing a game where he's sharing light-hearted secrets with the host. It's called some shit like...I dunno, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours!"

"Okay, we gotta be careful with the wording here because we're on live television," the host laughs, "but I have a question."

"Ask me anything, baby, I'm an open book," Bruce purrs. The live studio audience whistles and cheers.

"What's your darkest sexual fantasy? I'll tell you mine —"

"IF YOU TELL ME YOURS!!" The audience shouts, clapping and cheering with ridiculous enthusiasm. Bruce, who has impeccable control over his body's nervous system, turns beet red and covers his face. His heartbeat is still as steady as a war drum. World's Greatest Detective and also World's Best motherfuckin Actor.

"oh shit," he mutters. The cheering gets even louder. "I can't say it out loud. I've never told anybody this before, it's insane."

The host is Locked The Fuck In. Exclusive information nobody else has about Brucie Wayne, Gotham's precious prince? He can smell the trending hashtags already.

"Oh?" He goads, grinning and leaning forward in his chair. "Is it really bad? Brucie, you dog! I didn't know you had it in you! We gotta know, now!"

"Skip," Bruce says shyly, "next question!"

The audience boos and starts chanting some iteration of "tell us! Tell us!" The host shushes them and says it's fine, he'll go first and they'll both be a little embarrassed about it. No big deal, it's just a fun game! What's a little spicy secret between friends, we're all friends here, it's fine!

The host's is boring. Something like Toes or edible underwear. Bruce shyly says he can't say it, and asks if he can write it down instead. The host is like yes, absolutely, someone fetch this man a pen and paper RIGHT NOW.

Brucie writes it down. The host reads it. He gasps.

"Okay everybody, shhh. This says...I want to — BRUCE?"

Bruce reddens more and is as curled up as he can possibly get in his big chair. The audience is feral at this point.

"It says "I want a priest to give his virginity to me." Bruce Thomas Wayne!!!"

There's an uproar. People are whistling. Women are screaming. Catholics are clutching their pearls. There's so much clapping. Some people are laughing. When everybody settles down enough to let him explain, Bruce, still red in the face, just stares meekly at the ground and mutters:

"I dunno, it's so wicked. I wanna be like Lucifer with the apple. I want a son of God to turn away from His light and be tempted into my bed. If God is actually homophobic and being gay gets you sent to Hell, — first of all, fuck that guy — and second of all, at the very least I want him to get a taste of Heaven in the sheets, y'know?"

#DamnedByBrucie is the number one trending topic for the next four days. Priests are coming out of the woodwork and sending him genuine offers to take their virginity. Hal buys a priest outfit immediately. Bruce is so down to roleplay this even though that wasn't even close to his darkest sexual fantasy.

[bugisastranger]

hey babe 🩷 if you have the time or inspiration to write please consider fake dating to lovers with Clark Kent, like a to all the boys I’ve loved before typa situation

a/n: thank u for the request anon!!! sorry it took me a bit to get around to it - i can be a busy busy gal.

"you want me to what?"

clark's voice is unlike anything you'd ever heard from him, his shock nothing less than apparent. you shush him, looking around the hallway to see if anyone's noticed. it's lucky for you that nobody did.

"come on, clark. it's one night! not even! it's like, a few hours at most."

"can't you ask someone else? pete?"

"i don't want to ask pete. he won't be able to sell it."

"and you think i can?" he's exasperated, leaning closer to you as if he's suddenly aware how many people could overhear this conversation. "i'm a horrible liar."

"please? you know how my family can be," you whisper, looking up at clark. he sighs, hanging his head. he does know how your family can be—overbearing—which is exactly why he's hesitant. but you're you, so how can he actually say no?

"okay. okay, fine."

"really?" you ask, nearly jumping out of your skin. your arms slide around clark's neck as you excitedly let out a few small 'thank you's. clark's still frozen in place from his decision, but forces one of his arms to slide awkwardly around your hip. he's in for it, isn't he?

the ringing of the school bell pulls the two of you apart, and you quickly shut your locker, making your way towards your first class. clark keeps his place beside you. "so, what does this mean, exactly? what do you want from me?"

"jeez, clark, that sounds like i'm holding you hostage. it's just a favor."

"yeah, yeah. whatever. what do you need me to do?" he asks, taking his seat next to you at the lab table.

"i don't know. whatever feels natural," you say, bending to the side to pull your textbook out of your bag, a gesture which clark never would've took a second glance at. but today, with your hair falling in front of your face (and then you pushing it away), something's different. he doesn't even notice he forgot to say something in response to you until you glance back at him, confused at his silence.

"uh—" he clears his throat. "how am i supposed to know what's natural? we've never dated before." oops. overly sarcastic.

"have you never even considered it?"

"what?" clark's baffled by your question, but you ask it so casually, like it's not taking the ground out from beneath his feet. it's not that he hasn't considered it. it's that he has. he knows all too well how he wants to walk with his arm around your shoulders, how he wants to have you cuddle into his side as you watch a movie, how he wants to absolutely spoil you—as if he has the money for that anyway. "i—"

"you know what? forget i said that. i don't wanna know," you mutter. "just, like, pretend like you're obsessed with me, i don't know."

"hey, lovebirds! you done?" the teacher calls from the front of the classroom.

as clark starts, "oh, we're n—"

you say, "sorry! we're sorry." and then the both of you, red in your faces, stay silent. you barely even move, feeling reprimanded, even though your teacher was barely offended.

when the teacher lets the class work in pairs, clark decides to use the time to talk to you instead. he could do the work later. "can you just give me an idea of what the night's going to look like, at least?"

you take a quick glance at the teacher, making sure her eyes aren't on you and clark. "you'll come over and i'll introduce you as my boyfriend. my parents won't be suspicious, because i'll start bringing it up today. and they won't be too intimidating. my uncle might, but they'll love you. there's something about you that screams 'good guy' and they'll pick up on it." you twirl the pen in your hands. "it'll be fine. you have nothing to worry about, really." clark feels his heart skip a beat when you place your hand on his bicep—which is supposed to be a comforting gesture. what's happening to him? you've touched him before. plenty of times, actually. this shouldn't mean a thing.

a few days later, and clark is taking deep breaths as he walks down the path to your front door. before he can even meet the porch, you're outside, greeting him. he nearly stops in his tracks when he sees you, your hair half up, half down. the dress you're wearing is baby pink, and something about this sight—seeing you so... girly does something to him, even if he won't admit it.

"hi," you say, breaking the awkward silence. "ignore the dress, i'm trying something a little different."

"no, it's good. you look great," he forces. and then, he remembers he's supposed to be your boyfriend, he's allowed to flirt with you. "you look really pretty." he swears he sees your expression change, like you're nervous. it makes his hand tense, and he nearly crushes the stems of the flowers he forgot he's holding. "oh, these are for you."

"thank you. this is..."

"good enough, i hope?"

"better. i knew you wouldn't let me down."

"can't leave my girlfriend hanging, can i?" oh. oh. that gets you. and clark knows it, too.

"uh—" you start, looking at him with what can only be described as a mix of shock and infatuation. "we should go inside."

and as you're walking towards your front door—"i should call you something, shouldn't i?"

"what?" you turn back around, facing him.

"honey," he tries. "no, too mature. babe?" clark watches your reactions carefully, and even though you seem affected, 'babe' doesn't have the punch he was hoping for. "sweetheart?" bingo.

"sweetheart is fine," you mutter, trying to ignore the way your face heats up.

"okay, sweetheart. you ready for this?" you nod, walking towards the door with clark at your side. "what about princess?"

"too much. you can't call me that in front of my family."

"but i can call you that when we're alone?"

"clark!"

"it's just a question, sweetheart," clark teases, fighting back a chuckle. he could do this the rest of his life.

part two coming soon?!

[bahja-blix]

One Helluva Shit Show! 🤡👇🏽💩

I'm sorry Vivziepop but... I hope you just cancel Helluva Boss 😂

Your show is the Literal definition of an Actual shit show 💩! Nobody wants it anymore like they used to back then. It's never going to be as popular as it used to be!

The specials held up for a little bit at 29M views

Those two Stolitz episodes were consistent but with a drop of 13M views which got us at 16M views

Then EP 11 rolled in and got the worst of it with a 6M view drop that was sitting at 10M views and recently went up to 11M views

Then Stolitz once again rolled in town and the views surprisingly went up at 3M+ increase that got us 14M views but still dripped

And lastly, The whole crew showed up and for the Grand Finale and it got 12M views... A 2M dip for the shows ratings

You've TANKED this show into Oblivion, Down straight into the toilet 📉🚽! The Ratings show, the Views show, and the Units of merch you Still haven't sold that occasionally hit the CLEARANCE RACK titled "Last Chance" that nobody wanted it in the first place, Also show!

The fewer units of merch you make, mainly because you can't produce as much as you used to because the show and it's products don't sell anymore!

Hell, not even people of Your political side wants it! Democrats DON'T Want this! Us LGBT folk Don't want this okay!? NOBODY Wants Your Shit Shows Viv 😂!

It happened in movies and in comics back then where people of your side try to pander to other Democrats and they never show up or help sell their shit because the audience you thought was on your side doesn't want this either mainly because there was never usually an audience to begin with.

Wanna know why Barbie and Oppenheimer were successful Viv? Because they DID something Right!

I don't want this as a Bisexual who's been in the LGBT community for more than a decade and This begs the question of the fact that:

We constantly ask you Vivziepop, who the HELL this shows even supposed to be for and You Yourself can't even answer that! You can't represent jack shit outta Anything or Anyone!

You can't represent, White, Brown, or Black communities, you can't represent the LGBT comm because you think that stereotyping the hell out of everything is necessary, you can't represent the disabled community. You know who represents ALL of that including me? JAPAN! know what else? Anime, Manga, and South Park!

You really sat here and opened your mouth somewhere on the Internet claiming to be a Creative Genius that and I quote "Took inspiration from South Park" really? ARE YOU SURE? Well then, Where's the fun satire and jokes that embrace that? Where's the charm that South Park has? Where the Hell is it?

Did you shove it up your ass? Like how you did shoving fucking Stolitz down everybody's throats because you think that shitty ass ships gonna save the show you wasted Millions of dollars on?

And turn around and claimed to want to make MORE of your crap nobody wants? You seriously think you can handle a THIRD SHOW? Like for Fuck sakes Loona, Can't even Save this show! That undeveloped weasel shit you made who I DID love at one point and Was my favorite until You fucked her All up and wasted large amounts of money on merch and made her into wasted space of screentime can't save this show because the only thing that Will (Scuse me) Might is STOLITZ!!!

The few extra views (As you can see in my screenshot above) certainly prove that! I can't believe that's what people want. A level lower than the depths of Hell itself...

And yet you Also sat here probably on Bluesky most likely of all platforms where you ran and hid because I called you out last time on X and you hid by locking your account down because you got scared over receiving criticism all around you yet again!

Probably because I'm an Actual diverse person and politically balanced in Every direction which is why people think TWICE before coming at me. Despite me being smaller than you, you knew not to fuck with me! But you'll go after other critics... wtf...

You my dear friend Vivziepop, are Weak in Spirit! You can't take the heat from other Democrats or Anyone because You Yourself think everyone who even lightly critiques you are All bigots when You and people of your ilk are the ones who have been creating actual bigotry for Years by Normalizing the fact that your shit shows are synonymous with incompetence. And That is on You!

Here we are as past fans who Used to look up to you Laughing at Your Ass because shit like this is Actually funny to watch!

Four seasons??? Like who the flying Fuck has the budget to pay for that cluster fuck of a catastrophe? Ain't no way you're going to deliver this shit in an age like this especially with the shift in politics! But that darn ol Vivziepop sure do gotta plan hidden up her sleeve and in that big ol head of hers now do ya Vivziepop?

Your brain must be filled with SEWAGE to look at this Fuckness and think that it's still okay! Look, Viv, at the end of the day, a polished turd, Is STILL a Turd!

I'll finish off by taking a look at Gooseworx! Obviously Goose and her amazing indie team is doing something Right! This show BLEW your ass and your shit shows away with one swipe of the pilots sword! 🗡️

While the Halloween Episode did Dip it's still very popular and is still noticeably gaining views faster than Helluva Boss. Notice how the McDonald's AU EP for Spudsys with Gangle's story gained an increase of 7M Views which got us At from 54M views to 61M views and STILL counting because I check Everyday on Gooseworx and Vivziepop's channels to see if anything moves and so far Gooseworx is moving but not that darn ol Vivziepop!

IN CONCLUSION

When it comes to Vivziepop, Let's just Mooove away from All this horse shit, stop allowing her to shove her brain diarrhea down everyone's throats and normalizing said sludge heaps. Let Vivs horrendous garbage heaps of shit just die straight into the depths of Hell where it belongs!

I'm Bajah-Blix and I'll see you All in the next one!

[genderqueerdykes]

Really appreciate this blog and what it shares. Got into an arguement with someone who was a transfem TIRF (didn’t realize that was even a thing at the time lmao) and it left me feeling really upset due to the both gross ways she’d talked about trans men and the fact that she got a lot of support in the notes. So coming here and seeing in fact most people love and care about us transmascs is nice.

Won’t argue again next time I see an account like that cuz it’s kinda obvious people in those circles are prolly not getting out but yeah.

i am so sorry you had that experience. i'm glad you're advocating for yourself and choosing to not argue with that person again.

i honestly refuse to socialize with a person when i see them be that openly hateful with no attempts to change. i stopped talking to one of my old roommates after he started saying all kinds of transandrophobic shit, shitting on transmascs bodies and calling them gross because he's "gay" and could never be into vaginas or breasts. my ex (trans)gf literally fucking yelled at me for not wanting to be his friend after this. like actually fucking yelled at me numerous times. i asked her if she would be comfortable staying his friend if he was transmisogynistic toward her and told her her body was disgusting, and she said yeah of course, as if somehow that wouldn't cause her pain. nobody gave a flying fuck about how transandrophobia affects transmascs, so i said fuck all of you and stopped being their friends.

there are so many people who have gladly jumped on the rad fem train and it's so sad. that's no way to live your life. that's such a hateful ideology. rad feminism is nothing but hate. it's hate for yourself for being a woman because you equate womanhood to suffering. it's hate for other women because they're not women "right" like you are. it's hate for transmascs and trans men. it's hate for nonbinary people. it's hate for genderfluid people. it's hate for trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, gnc, bi, & pan lesbians. it's hate for butches who are men. for TIRFs in specific, it's hate for other trans people because they're "trans wrong". rad feminism is hatred all the way down no matter how you look at it. rad feminism will never be productive or progressive. it's about wallowing in your misery, mining for sympathy and pity, and crying about how you're powerless and defenseless instead of doing something about it. it's admitting defeat.

as a fellow transmasc, i'm just over it. i'm not gonna stew in self hatred. i had a friend who WAS transmasc who basically forced me to hate myself for being a trans man. always going on and on about how they hated certain transmascs and trans men, how they were "Whiny and entitled"... yikes dude. you can keep hating yourself over there, but i genuinely love being transmasc & a trans man. coming out as a trans man literally saved my fucking life. i was a depressed mess that hated myself before i came out. i've never loved myself more. and if someone else can't love what i love about myself? they're not worth my damn time.

i'm not here to throw transmascs under the bus just to kiss up to transfems to try to look progressive for brownie points. that shit is underhanded and dirty. we can support all trans people at once. we aren't football teams. you don't have to pit random queer identities against one another. we're on the same side. none of us are enemies. none.

thanks for taking the time to stop by! take care of yourself, i'm glad that i could help in any way. i am just OVER people forcing transmascs and trans men to hate themselves and exist solely to talk about trans women and transfems and nothing else. i am just over people making men and mascs feel like shit. it's done. it's over. i'm not participating, and neither are you. pack that shit up into a box, and throw it in the garbage. we're working together whether or not you like it. the only way we get out of this is together. our fight for liberation is NOT a crab bucket- you do NOT have to pull someone else down when you see them rise up and advocate for themselves.

[bohemian-rhapsodys]

Have you ever thought about your funeral? if you're on Tumblr you probably have, so I suggest 1) you get some psychological help 2) pick a song for your friends to play at your funeral. Why? well, why not? it will be your last message to the world, so you have a chance to do something funny.

Don't be boring and play Highway to Hell by AC/DC or Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash, be original, choose something that represents your spirit. If you're not insane enough to listen to music and think "wow, this song would be inappropriate to play at a funeral" don't worry babe, I'm here for you and I'll help you on your way to discovering your ideal funeral song. This will work like astrology for those of us who had ask.fm in the 2010s.

So... if you're here you were probably emo or had an interest in emo or some kind of fetish idk. Don't lie. So you could use songs that are simply recognised as "emo" by all your guests to give a message. Bring Me To Life by Evanescene is a safe choice, although Going Under is another. It's never a bad time to listen to Fall Out Boy, there's Immortals or Sugar, We're Going Down. I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco would be good, although High Hopes is another option, but if your mother is already dead you can play Hey Look Ma, I Made It or if you die having just graduating college then Death of a Bachelor. Still with emo, My Chemical Romance can't not be an alternative: Welcome to the Black Parade, Dead!, This Is How I Disappear or Famous Last Words will prove your death because if you don't get up to sing you've really gone to the other side. You have Hard Times by Paramore too. Anthem of Our Dying Day or Until the Day I Die from Story Of The Year are bangers, think about it.

If you weren't emo or don't like emo stuff (I don't believe you, but don't worry I'm not going to drag you out of the emo closet with your family babygirl) you can joke about whether you will be buried or cremated, even more personalised!

Will they cremate you? Hot In Here by Nelly, Sean Paul's Temperature, Gasolina by Daddy Yankee, Dynamite by Taio Cruz, Burn by Ellie Goulding, Girl On Fire by Alicia Keys, Drop It Like It's Hot by Snoop Dog, Things We Lost In The Fire by Bastille, Blow by Kesha. And of course, Fireball by Pitbull. You're gon' boggie oogie oogie, jiggle, wiggle and dance like the roof on fire with these ones.

Will they bury you? Drag Me Down by One Direction or Get Low by Liam Payne and Zedd, The Box by Roddy Ricch, She Looks So Perfect by 5 Seconds Of Summer (you'll look stunning in that casket pookie), Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish, Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics, Scream & Shout by will.i.am and Britney Spears (all eyes will be on you, ofc) or Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd.

If not you can use any song used as an internet meme. Like Like a Prayer by Madonna, Goodbye by Bo Burnham, I Wouldn't Mind by He Is We (you can also ask your friends to make a video of your life -like a recap- titled it "saddest video in the world", full of made up stuff) or Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley.

You can also choose one based on the cause of death. Hit by a car? Life is a Highway by Rascal Flats (bonus points if you are a Cars fan), Ride by Twenty One Pilots, Shut Up And Drive by Rihanna. Run over by an hoverboard? Dumb Ways To Die by Tangerine Kitty (yes, the soundtrack to the video game) or Nobody's Perfect by Hannah Montana. Shot? Bulletproof by La Roux, Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar, Louis Tomlinson's Kill My Mind or Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead Or Alive. Suicide? Don't Try Suicide or Keep Yourself Alive by Queen, I Think I'm Going To Kill Myself by Elton John, Rock 'n' Roll Suicide by David Bowie, Van Halen's Jump. Trying to save someone from a robbery? Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson, Help! by The Beatles, Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio and the Avengers theme song by Alan Silvestri. Overdosed at a party? Ricky Martin's Livin' La Vida Loca, Ayesha Erotica's Literal Legend, Pitbull's Time Of Our Lives and LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem. Heart Attack? Demi Lovato and One Direction have a track called "Heart Attack" or Boom Clap by Charli xcx. Slashed to death? (I Just) Died In Your Gun Tonight by Cutting Crew. Eaten by a new Jeffrey Dahmer? Cannibal by Kesha. Or if you died young it could be Die Young by Kesha or We Are Young by fun.

If you like to be ironic the following are for you: Best Day Of My Life by American Authors, Stayin Alive by Bee Gees, I'm Still Standing by Elton John, I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!, Don't Stop Me Now by Queen, Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson, Every Breath You Take by The Police, breathin by Ariana Grande, Survivor by Destiny's Child, Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen (spoiler: they won't be able to call you unless its via ouija), Lush Life by Zara Larsson, My Heart Will Go On by Celiné Dion (bonus points if you drowned), So Happy I Could Die by Lady Gaga, About That Time by Lizzo, Wake Me Up by Avicii, Unstoppable by Sia, Safe And Sound by Capital Cities, When Will My Life Begin? by Mandy Moore (who doesn't love Tangled?), Rusted Root's Send Me On My Way, Take My Breath Away by Berlin, On My Own by Ross Lynch (Teen Beach Movie 2 representation here), I Don't Wanna Live Forever by Zayn and Taylor Swift, Kool & The Gang's Celebration, Alive by One Direction (bonus points if you're gay) or Viva La Vida by Coldplay.

Do you want your friends to feel like they're inside a sad edit? Somebody That I Used to Know by Goyte and Kimbra, Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) by Fergie, The Show Must Go On by Queen, We Go Together by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, Katty Perry's The One That Got Away, Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) by Green Day, I'll Be There For You by The Rembrandts, Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake, Die With A Smile by Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga, Everybody Wants To Rule The Word by Tears For Fears. Or maybe you prefer to joke that you "abandoned" them: All You Had To Do Was Stay, Is It Over Now? or Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift, Want U Back by Cher Lloyd, Problem by Ariana Grande, bury a friend by Billie Eilish, Smash Mouth's All Star, Irreplaceable by Beyoncé, Naomi Scott's She's So Gone, Friends On The Other Side by Keith David (Tiana is the best Disney Princess), I'm Like a Bird by Nelly Furtado, Anna Kendrick's Cups (for the Pitch Perfect girlies), Take Me Home Country Roads but the Lana Del Rey version to make it more random, Eminem's Without Me, *NSYNC's Bye Bye Bye, Let It Go by Idina Menzel (extra points if you died of hypothymia).

Anyway, in any context it's funny to fuck with your guests with This Is What You Came For by Rihanna and Calvin Harris.

Would you like to play a chill good vibes song for them to smoke a joint in your name? Don't Worry Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin, Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles or Michael Bublé's Feeling Good. Have you ever heard the lyrics of Treat People With Kindness by Harry Styles? You should.

Do you like the idea of kidding with heaven/hell? try Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin, Hells Bells or Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be by AC/DC, Locked Out Of Heaven by Bruno Mars (bonus points if you're gay cause sex won't take you to paradise), all the good girls go the hell by Billie Eilish, What The Hell by Avril Lavigne, Sympathy For The Devil or Knockin' On Heaven's Door by Guns N' Roses, Bad To The Bone by George Thorogood & The Destroyers (you can play the scene from Megamind in the background if you want), Otherside by Red Hot Chili Peppers, Cage The Elephant's Ain't No Rest For The Wicked, Back To Life by Zayn, Heaven by Niall Horan, The Smiths' Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, Made In Heaven or Spread Your Wings by Queen, George Michael's Faith, Heaven Is A Place On Earth by Belinda Carlisle, A Whole New World From Aladdin (you can use the original version or the Zayn one if you like 1D), Defying Gravity by Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande (to leave a message that you are defying gravity to those who ground you), Almost There by Anika Noni Rose (more The Princess and the Frog representation here). Even Europe's The Final Countdown can be a good bet, as can Hozier's Take Me To Church (again, bonus points if you're gay).

I've named songs from musicals as you may have noticed, and you might like them, so One Last Time from Hamilton, My Dead Gay Son from Heathers or The Whole "Being Dead" Thing from Beetlejuice might hit the spot.

Do you believe in reincarnation or do you want to screw people that you will haunt them by being a ghost/zombie? Oops!...I Did It Again by Britney Spears, There She Goes by The La's, Dark Horse by Katy Perry, Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr., Thriller by Michael Jackson or The Phantom Of The Opera main track by Andrew Lloyd Webber (because it gives vampire vibes).

If you're boring you'll probably end up choosing Live And Let Die by Wings because you like the idea of telling your loved ones "let me go", and although it's part of the soundtrack of several films including Shrek the Third (so passing the scene would be funny), why not choose the actual funny equivalent? I'm talking about Let It Grow from The Lorax. "But if this ever-changing world in which we're living makes you give in and cry say live and let die" and "Let's celebrate the world's rebirth we say let it grow" are exactly the same, in case you didn't notice.

And if none of this convinces you: you can always use Boulevard Of Broken Dreams by Green Day and carve in your casket "I never thought being obnoxious would get me where I am today" which is a quote by Billie Joe Armstrong. Or just play Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, or The Office's intro, whatever.

I know if you read to the end you liked the idea, didn't you, sweetheart? So remember that you are too hot and sexy to die, don't do it. Ever. Be immortal like Castiel. Or Godzilla, your choice.

[daemon-in-my-head]

Huh, let's do one of these again cuz I'm feeling some kinda way

Dark Urge Ask game - redeemed post epilogue funsies

If your Durge could change one, single thing, event, feature, just anything about their life, their body or their relationships, what would it be?

Do they ever miss the cult or Bhaal or wish they chose differently? How are we coping is what I'm asking.

How's shit with their LI going? Did they have one? Is it going well even after the post-epilogue party? What's the vibe here? Did they maybe even find a new partner?

What's it like being known as a hero? Do they enjoy it? Are they getting shy whenever they hear a bard recount their tales? Is it too overwhelming, and they decided to try and escape it?

How's our mental health? Did we get out unscathed, are we still tormented by nightmares? How do we cope with this little absolutely life changing journey we just went thru? Any lifestyle changes to deal with it?

Have we learned from the mistakes of our predecessors, or are we fully embracing the Abdel Adrian route? Are they trying to establish themselves as an influential figure or trying just to live a lovely little peaceful life?

How do they feel about never getting the majority of their memories back? Is it relief, that they won't remember what atrocities or mistakes they make or perhaps dread, because a Bhaalspawn undoubtedly made enemies and they'll never know who they are?

How's it going in terms of faith? Serving Jergal, another god altogether, are we faithless nowadays? What's the situation here?

How's the canon situation on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 being this could be part of a sourcebook, 10 being this is basically original fiction now.

Do any of the traits they learned in their old profession ever come in handy later down the line? Have they opened a clinic, do they get by as a mercenary, are they staying far away from everything even slightly connected to their past life?

Are they gonna reach the later half of their life expectancy or are we gonna have some sweet early demise going on here? Will they ever get to enjoy the fruits of their labour?

How exactly does loosing Bhaals essence impact a being created by him? We holding up well or barely scraping by?

Generally speaking, without saying much, what's the vibe here after it all ends? Tragedy, coffeeshop AU kinda vibe, rom-com, drama baby, slice of life or hero's quest?

Do they ever feel like they miss any of the other chosen? How much do they manage to recall? Are they beating themselves up over it?

What's their biggest struggle now that everything is over?

Also what's the greatest joy now that they're "free" (depends on interpretation ig)?

Was it worth it?

Do they ever meet any of the other tadfools again? Are they questing together once more? Do they purposefully stay away from some?

How are the others doing actually? What's Durges opinion on it? Do they think their old companions are doing well, are they glad about it or maybe even resentful? Do they ever even find out?

Any physical changes going on here compared to how they were before the whole 'defeat the brain' business? What are they? Is Durge handling them well or do they need a bit more time?

Now as for the fun part.... Do they ever remember what exactly they did with some of the other chosen? How awkward is it or are they proud of it? Does anyone else find out? Give me the tea dammit.

Does the skrunkly little tyrant ever make his way back into the picture in some way? What way exactly?

What happened to the physical prayer for forgiveness? Is it stored in a lil chest somewhere in their new home? Did it get burned? Did it get buried? What's going on here?

What happened to the stones? Where are they? Do they still exist? Remember most of the idiots only wanted the crown, nobody ever said something about those pretty gems that spend god knows how long with the others. Basically how freaky is Durge about them?

What happened to a bunch of very peculiar weapons such as; the Fabricated Arbalest, the Stillmaker, Bloodthirst, Crimson Mischief, Ketherics Warhammer, all that fun stuff.

What happened to the coat. Tell me. How's it doing. Where is it. What's going on?

Finally, last but not least. What is Durges biggest wish now? What do they strife to attain? Peace, happiness, the food they've been craving for a solid week now?

Wild card / Dealers choice.

Obligatory reminder how these work: ask prev when u reblog, be nice, this isn't strictly romantic, bla bla bla yk what I usually put here. Basically, have fun, go wild, be nice to your fellow brain rotters, make someone's day. We're all sane here. Promise.

[dubiousanon]

ShikaNaru Headcanons

☀️Shikamaru definitely realizes his feelings first and it is 100% an "oh, shit" moment.

☀️I imagine the Nara clan to love not as angrily as the Uchiha, but just as obsessively. Where the Uchiha seek to almost possess, the Nara clan covets knowledge. In this case, Shikamaru wants to know everything about Naruto— no detail is too small.

☀️ I'm not saying Shikamaru is stalking him, but he'd definitely follow him everywhere. Like, he's not trying to hide. Naruto just hasn't noticed because it's... Well, it's Naruto.

☀️And the few times he does notice him it's just— "Wow, what're you doing here Shikamaru? 😀" baby you should be asking why you've seen him ten different times this week and it's only Monday.

☀️Nara Fixation Nara Fixation Nara Fixation Nara Fixation Nara Fixation Nara Fixation, did I say Nara Fixation yet?

☀️Naruto wants for nothing because somehow, Shikamaru always knows exactly what he needs and is able to predict exactly when he's going to need it.

☀️ Naruto never quite realizes the depth of the obsession/love. He's just completely oblivious to the fact that Shikamaru is kind of, slightly, a little bit (maybe a lot a bit) insane. With a cherry on top.

☀️ Lowkey, I am a huge fan of crazy Shikamaru. Like, not outwardly crazy, but "I know your height, weight, regular resting heart rate, wrist diameter, and how many times you've said 'believe it' today" crazy Shikamaru. Knows too much Shikamaru.

☀️Naruto 100% just assumes they're dating after a while of certain details accumulating. Shikamaru feeds him like, daily. Shikamaru has shared a bed with him several times. They spend a lot of time together. They hold hands. Shikamaru knows like, everything about him somehow.

☀️ Naturally, they must've been dating this entire time and Naruto simply didn't notice until now. And because Naruto has zero experience with healthy relationships, he just accepts this as fact and moves on with his life.

☀️ Shikamaru when Naruto grabs him by the face on day, plants a huge kiss on him with no context, and then skips off: 👁️👄👁️

☀️ Come on, it'd be so funny.

☀️ Insert Naruto also knowing a surprising amount about Shikamaru, because he's more attentive than people give him credit for. Shikamaru follows him around so much, of course he learns about him over time. He may be an idiot, but he's not a moron. Or... something like that.

☀️ Naruto is just happy someone actually wants to be around him. Sasuke is Sasuke, Sakura constantly yells at him, Kakashi literally runs, Yamato is only around for training, and Sai just insults him in increasing intervals when they're together.

☀️ Touch-Starved! Naruto vs. Can't get enough of touching him! Shikamaru! Go! Fight!

☀️ Shikamaru "he's never going to love me" Nara and Naruto "I wonder when Shikamaru is gonna propose" Uzumaki

☀️ Naruto just goes to the court house and files the documents himself. Surprise, Shikamaru. Not only does he love you, you've been married for the past four months.

☀️ Alternatively, Shikamaru could pull the same move. Oh, you kissed me on the mouth? Sounds like a proposal to me.

☀️ For a certified genius, Shikamaru would absolutely be the kind of idiot to assume Naruto couldn't ever return his feelings. There could be so much evidence to the contrary and it really WOULD take an entire kiss to the lips to convince him.

☀️ No worries, Naruto is more than willing to oblige.

☀️ Basically um I love them, they're both smart AND stupid in different ways, but they make it work. And nobody can change my mind.

[theocddiaries]

Rouge: Come on, Abe, it's not that bad. The boiler was twenty years old, it's normal that we have to replace it. Abraham: That's not the point, Rouge. I've been here as long as that boiler, and I'm twice as burned out. Rouge: Oh, please, you're just saying that because you had to chip in and you're in a bad mood. Abraham: No. I'm too bored to even get mad anymore. It's the same thing every day. You don't believe me? What time is it? Rouge: Around noon. Abraham: You forgot your lunch, didn't you? [Rouge hisses.] Abraham: Aha. That means your brother is about to storm in, swearing up and down that he won't cook for you anymore because if you're going to be that ungrateful, you might as well spend money at the cafeteria. And then he'll leave, slamming the door. Rouge: Well— [Shadow enters without knocking and throws the tupperware at Rouge like a frisbee.] Shadow: Here, choke on it. I'm done. Tomorrow, you eat at the cafeteria, because I'm not coming here every damn day to see these miserable people just because you can't be responsible with food I went through hell to cook for you. [storms off, slamming the door] Abraham: And that's just round one. Now, he's so pissed he forgot to ask you for the visitor's pass he needs to leave. That is, unless he punches a hole through the wall, which, honestly, I'd appreciate, because at least something different would happen. Rouge: Oh, come on, Abraham. Shadow is mad at life itself, and the only reason I don’t forget my head is because it’s attached to my body. Anyone could’ve seen that coming. Abraham: Okay, then. Now, Topaz is going to show up late with an excuse that involves two relatives and a vegetable. [Topaz comes running, knocks on the door, and opens it, her face red and panting from the sprint.] Topaz: Hello, Commander. Uh, sorry for being late, but my cousin's rabbit got loose, and her mom and I were chasing it all over Square with a carrot. Hehe, well, I'll get to my post now. [leaves before they can say anything] Abraham: And now, you'll hear Rockwell yelling because someone ate her brownie, only to realize she already ate it herself and then blame everyone else anyway. Rockwell [from the break room]: Where the hell is my food?! I am SICK of nobody respecting ANYTHING in this damn pla-- Oh, wait, I already ate it. I came here for a napkin… You guys are driving me crazy! I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore!!! Abraham: And now you're going to tell me I'm just having a bad day and that I need a hug. [glances at her] [Rouge lowers her arms, scratching the back of her head] Rouge: Well, uh… look, if a job like ours has monotony, that’s a good sign, isn’t it? Abraham: Probably. But that’s not what’s getting to me. The worst part is that nobody here gives a damn about what happens to me. [Abraham gets up, looking downcast, and opens the door, stepping aside just in time for Shadow, who indeed came back to ask Rouge for the visitor's pass.] Shadow: Rouge, please, give me the-- [looks Abraham up and down]: Abraham, are you alright? Abraham: It's none of your business, gossip. [walks off] Shadow: Hope your day gets worse then, asshole. Rouge: That’s one habit I’m getting sick of too…

[quitealotofsodapop]

Lmk au idea.

Wukong isn't MK's teacher. At least, not in the same way he is in the show.

In this idea I had randomly pop into my head I'm thinking that Wukong had gone above and beyond simply vanishing for 500 years and hiding out on FFM. He straight up changed his identity and went into hiding as a mortal. He says fuck off to being a demon god, fuck off to all the gods and celestials and all his titles. He retires, fully and completely, passing his crown off to his Stalwarts and just becomes a wanderer traveling around, doing odd jobs and never staying in one place too long.

At some point over the centuries he ends up back in the village that he left his staff in, or rather, whay it became. A sprawling metropolis of a city that a person trying to disappear can easily do so. He set up shop, having had many hats over the years he's able to easily pick up a humble job nobody would blink twice at. Mechanics are always sorely needed in large cities after all.

One day at his shop a hauntingly familiar fave appears at his doorstep. Pigsy's truck had broken down while he was out with baby MK on a supply run and Wukong's shop had been the closest mechanic they could find. Wukong could sense something was special about MK, but not what or why and after he fixed up the truck he spent the next hour or so reminding himself that he is not Sun Wukong anymore, he is not part of that life anymore. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Wukong's mechanic work was something Pigsy liked, a lot. The truck was running smoother than if ever did before and the price was a steal! Wukong quickly became the favorite mechanic shop for Pigsy's Noodles and MK began to show up more often at the mechanic shop (he crashed a lot of stuff ok). Wukong ends up becoming the cool mechanic dude who helped teach MK how to mod his hoverboard and would often drop cryptic but helpful advice to the kid, Wukong having settled with the idea that he can look after the kid at least since it doesn't look like Zu Baijie's decendant or the kid were going to go away anytime soon. This led to meeting Tang and Mei, which were... experiences. And Wukong just ends up being a family friend to the Noodle Gang who likes cold vegetarian noodles.

Then a Hero is Born happens. Wukong hadn't been there for that experience. He was "on a supply run" when DBK was freed, he was in a different town entirely. So he wasnt physically present when MK became the Monkie Kid. It doesn't mean he wasn't completely uninvolved, though. Wukong isn't stupid, he knows DBK would eventually be freed, and he also knew it was possible someone else would pick up his staff. Afterall the staff had chosen him, not the other way around. It isn't unfeasable to imagine it'd pick another now that it's owner has put it down. Plus it isn't entirely impossible to imagine whoever it is would seek him out, he was the last known person to wield the Ruyi Jingu Bang after all.

He left a series of visions and astral projected recordings in his cave. The first being triggered should anyone breach his cave, the vision MK first sees when he enters Water Curtain Cave, only it doesn't stop at Wukong just running off. The projection speaks.

Wukong's recording. Looking as laid back and amused as can be: If you're seeing this, congrats! You got past my unstoppable barrier! Unfortunately I'm afraid that you won't be able to find me, as I would have been long gone from this place and am retired! So if your here for an autograph I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave.

MK: WHAT!?

Wukong's recording, becoming serious and almost sad: If you are a friend, however. I want to say I'm sorry, but please don't go seeking me out. I am hanging up my crown and title as the Great Sage and the Monkey King, and I don't not wish to be disturbed. Over the centuries I've come to realize my whole life I've done nothing but hurt the people I care about, so... for everyone's sake... I'm disappearing so that I can't hurt anyone again. Ever. And if you find my staff, I'm sorry I can't be there to help you. But I'll give you a piece of advice I learned, believe in yourself. Even just a smidge can make all the difference.

MK is gobsmacked at the thought that Sun Wukong had just up and left like that, that he's been gone for a long time and won't be able to help. He decides if Wukong wasn't there to be a hero anymore, he'd do it for him. Just a smidge makes a difference, right?

And so the Monkie Kid becomes the Monkie Kid. Over the next season or so he struggles a lot with his powers, not having a proper mentor. See, unlike the rest of the Noodle Gang, since Wukong wasn't physically present when MK became the town hero he isn't ever explicitly told it's MK. MK literally just forgets to mention it to him, but he does his best to help where he can. Giving advice where he can.

Most everything else was done without his input, altho MK did find it weird that the Calabash seemed to think his mechanic friend was the Monkey King. It's the first hint he ever has that Wukong was not as he seemed, but he write it off as him simply thinking of Wukong as a mentor figure since he's always been supportive and gave helpful advice and the Calabash substituting the Monkey King for Wukong.

Even the Macaque episode was done mostly without his input, altho a certain black furred monkey was not happy that his attempt to lure Wukong out didn't work at all. Wukong had been busy with renovations to expand the shop at the time, thus where the "step into the strike" advice came from since MK had been helping Wukong with tearing down the wall.

The big reveal about Wukong being the Monkey King only happens during Revenge of the Spider Queen, when Wukong has no choice but to step in as the Monkey King. And believe me, he is absolutely not happy about the matter. He doesn't run away once everything is done and over, but it's very clear that he is upset by the way he avoids everyone and jsut sits curled up on the rooftop. When asked why he never told them, especially knowing MK was using his staff, he first points out MK had never explicitly told him about the whole Monkie Kid business so he had no reason to "know" anything about it. Then he jsut points to the destroyed city.

Wukong: This is what happens everytime the Monkey King appears. Destruction, death, and chaos. I didn't want to be that anymore.

This spun off from a convo on how Wukong likely felt abandoned by his mentor(s), beginning with Subodhi, the allies he made in Heaven before the war, Guanyin, and even Tripitaka when the monk passed.

Wukong, going by just "Wu", drifting along the centuries living a mortal life. Packs up and leaves whenever conflict or war breaks out, or when people start to get suspicious.

His number one rule? Never get attached. Never again...

He becomes a mechanic (a real "grease monkey" if you will). Although he loves medicine and herbalism, it simply has too many paper trails. Also cars are fun to tinker with and don't talk back most of the time. Less likely to make a connection.

He eventually returns to the village where he lay his Staff down for good. Just seemed right coming up to the 500 year anniversary of one of his biggest regrets. The village has since become a sprawling mega-city, open to humans and demons alike. There he plants his roots.

The biggest shock of his life comes when he sees his brothers faces and souls all over again. Three in new bodies, and one in the same. A certain fish demon had pretended he didnt recognise him, and Wu returned the courtesy - seems he wasn't the only one from the old days to retire.

He wonders if it was the right decision to settle in Megapolis...

Until the day Pigsy knocks on Wu's shop, breathless and carrying a wiggly baby human (?). His food truck had given up the ghost and the cook desperately needed repairs asap! Wu simply couldn't turn him away.

Through the conversation and the repair process, the wiggly baby maybe-human had stared at the monkey demon with absolute wonder. Wu isn't sure why until he overhears the cub blabble something into his father's ear.

MK: "Mon-ken." Pigsy, fond sigh: "No MK, that's not the Monkey King. He just looks like the drawing in your Baba's book." Wu, nearly drops the truck on himself: "Eh?" Pigsy, little embarassed: "Oh! Sorry. The piglet is convinced that you're the Monkey King. My partner researches mythology and stuff, and he fills the kid's head with all sorts of ideas." Wu, rolls out from under the truck with a cheeky smile: "It's no problem. You'd be surprised how often I get mistaken for him! Think its the fur." (*Wu shares a glance at MK, the baby human is still staring at him unconvinced. Wukong makes a unsubtle shush motion and winks - causing the little human to wiggle once more with joy. Pigsy sighs fondly once more, knowing that the boy will most definitely hold this moment dear throughout his childhood*)

With that one chance meeting, Wukong breaks his number one rule; Never get attached.

It's not his fault he fixed the truck so good that Pigsy became a loyal customer! And the pig demon began tipping him with free cold vegetarian noodles. And that the scholar at the shop and him started info-dumping together! And that the little human began seeing him as a beloved uncle...

Oh yeah. Wu is in too deep. Hopefully nothing too chaotic happens within the next few years or so >:3

You can say a certain monkey demon nearly had a heart attack when he learned that someone had finally taken up his Staff - and that it was his little buddy!! Also Sandy is back in the gang, so they can't pretend that they dont know each other for long.

Wu would *like* to step up and reveal himself as the Monkey King to MK - but he feels that would just make things so much worse. The kid's trust in him would shatter immediately. So it's better to leave his projections on FFM to do the physical training, and for Uncle Wu to provide him with much-needed emotional guidance.

Sharing this dm you sent in particular based on the "Macaque" episode cus it's a tasty piece of dialogue:

MK: "Is it really better to focus your power into every attack?" Wu: "Hm, that's a lonely way of thinking. And dangerous. Look at this hammer I use for example, it's strong but if I'm not careful an just bang away at metal, it'd hit hard but it'd cause more damage to myself and the people around me. But if I were to... step into the swing so to speak and not depend on the hammer but rather my own strength, it's easier to control and has less risk of hurting myself."

He had been doing renovations on the wall to expand his business at the time, thus why he was banging at the wall with a hammer.

Eventually the episode ends with Macaque calling desperately out to the battlefield - almost begging for his king to reappear. The shadow monkey is so occupied in his despair and anger that MK manages to slip free and reclaim his power.

MK promptly bullies Macaque into actually mentoring him. Macaque chuckles at the nerve of this kid, and agrees - but only as a truce until Wukong returns. After that, Macaque expects a rematch.

Unironically loving this AU

[lucy---lou]

Part 14 Lucys-hdg-story

"So what are we doing today?", I ask.

"Whatever you would like to do. Otherwise I do have an idea", Miss Duralis answers.

"Ehhmm.......You probably wouldn't let me play video games all day, so no I've got nothing I want to do. Besides I didn't even think I was allowed to choose"

"Aww you already think like a floret. Of course you do you're only a ward, but yes I would forbid you from playing video games all day."

"No I don't", I pout.

"You'd be even cuter as one", Ellie giggles.

"grrrrr"

"Awww"

"No stop, I'm not cute I'm angry!"

"And adorably cute at that", Miss Duralis ads.

"No, MEAN, I , No , what, aaaaahhhh", I shake my head and hands to get the feeling away.

"This will help", at that Ellie hugs me.

"meanies"

"I know, but so much fun"

"pff"

And now I'm being squeezed to death by both of my tormentors. I feel myself begin to relax again and the finally let go as I calm down.

"Alright ready to go to the park my cuties?"

"Yes Mistress!", Ellie chirps.

"I-I ehm noooo?" Could have skipped the relaxing part if you ask me to go outside.

"Why's that kitten?"

"It is not safe there", I blink a few time and then look at them dumbfumbled. A vine starts petting me.

"That was one of my hypnotic triggers petal. Aslong as you are close to me and feel my biorhythm you will always feel safe. Would you like your medication?"

I curl up into a ball. What the fuck is she doing to me. I hesantly nod. She stabs injects me and all my worries grow distant again. Afterwads I look up again and smile at her grabbin a vine and hugging her.

I'm safe.

"Since my scaredy cat is fine now, let's gooo", Ellie grabs my hand and pulls me upright.

We leave that hab and begin walking. Soon we arrive at the park, the same park I first met miss Duralis.

"Let's play a game", Ellie beams.

"Sure, what?"

"Hide and seek. I'm sure there are other florets that want to play"

"I-I'm not sure"

"That's a great idea Ellie. I'll call our friends"

„But I-“

"You'll have fun, trust me", Miss Duralis says in a commanding tone. I trust her.

The game is actually very fun and the other florets are nice. Until I run head first into Mx Solper.

"I-em sorry mx Solper, I didn't see you"

"No problem little Lucy. I'll let you go once I examine your lovely outfit. Yes very beautiful, as perfekt as I thought you would be, but you forgot something important little one"

A vine slithers along my neck. I shiver.

"But I'm not a floret!"

"Well not yet my cutie, but soon. I'll let you g-"

"Found you! Mx Solper is not a good hiding spot", Ellie laughs and grabs my hand pulling me away.

"Good Byeee Mx Solper"

Something feels odd, oh. I blush at the silly thought.

"Ellie?"

"Yes"

"Ehm - this is silly but could you hold my other hand? I don't like my left hand being held". Well that was way too akward.

"Oh sure", Ellie swirls around me and holds my right hand,"You're really interesting kitten, so many cute little things about you"

"More like annoying things"

"no, stop that don't be mean to my future pinnate, otherwise I have to do that thing again"

"what thing", I rebell.

"this", she kisses me.

I freeze. My cheeks burning a million degrees and I'm panting. Every thought from last night rushing back to me.

"I, I- em, I e, I-I-I, eeeehhh", I stammer, give up and franticly look around.

"Silly kitten nobody cares if I kiss my future pinnate, see?"

"What's a pi-"

She gives me a kiss and another one and another and.. she uses her tonge.. and..... then she bites my neck.

"mhmn", my world collapses, I shiver, I moan, my knees buckle. Vines catch me and smoothly pet me. I don't know what I should be thinking right now, currently nothing.

"Oh my how adorable. My little Ellie did you break our lovely ward?"

"I just gave her a kiss - and then another one, but I think she liked it"

Miss Duralis chuckles,"Definitely"

I'm placed on vines something comfortable. I feel something slither around my neck and attach something. Somebody I love pulls me into a deep cuddle. I nuzzle into her.

-I hope you liked this part, something felt of in the last one, but I don't really know why.

[irlnorthshaw]

Here's a question:

What are your Supa Strikas ships that you thought of and like, and think people wouldn't get?? (I'm curious lol-)

MIMPI... mimpi... be careful for what you're asking because you know how i am with shipping. guys i ship for life. like i dont give a damn if the ship's interaction is worth one cent... i make do with what i can and have!!! and after rewatching the show a couple billion times... i have gathered some INTERESTING ones.

liquido and riano

as you may know, i have watched "your latest trick" A LOT. yes they did interact in this one scene and never again but hear me out– they give me: liquido can't get over himself and thinks he can bag one of the finest man in the super league. but we all know riano, riano isn't having any of that. their convo would go something like this:

"hey, riano~" "goodbye, liquido."

el matador and blok

YES. yall heard me. this is also me showing some love to blok because some people seem to forget about him!!! what can i say, i love the idea of this dynamic. the thing is, sometimes i ship things in a way i wanna see more of them interacting and not necessarily picture them BEING together. if that makes sense.

these two are exactly that. i wanna see more of them interact bc lowkey i thought it was so wholesome when blok wanted to collaborate and promote fzzzl bmmm w the release of el matador's action figure.

DOOMATIC!!!!! OH YEAH BABY

if only automatic had more moments EUGH... this would've been so good. i personally pat myself on the back when i thought of this one bc i cooked HARD!!! they definitely cannot stand each other and to me, that's the best part of it all.

enemies to lovers who? more like enemies and i cannot believe we're also lovers.

skarra and north

the best way i can describe this one is. i am simply projecting myself on north and i love skarra. so... yeah #SHAMELESS

inyo and miss altivo

AKA PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE YURI!!! this one you guys HAVE to love. PLEASE!!! the potential is so insane here... inyo's big brains and chameleon-like tactics? combined with altivo's unwavering power over these dumb men for clicks and views??? COUNT ME TF IN!!!

we need more yuri in this fandom and THIS is where we should start.

brenda and lena

SPEAKING OF YURI... here's another one. except this time i am so surprised nobody has jumped on this yet??? futbol 360 yuri, i NEEEED IT!!! i need it now. they'd honestly be so cute and wholesome, moreover they definitely trade information abt the players for work

coach and the sheikh

now this one is a tad bit controversial BUT who am i without some controversial opinions!!! this is another case of i cannot see them BEING together, but i would kill to see them interact more. they are wayyy more entertaining than coach and vince. (THAT MIGHT ALSO BE CONTROVERSIAL) ohh... the way sheikh is so sassy w coach. maybe i just want more of the sultans... yeah thats it.

"losing your cool, coach? or just losing?" AND THEN PROCEED TO WALK AWAY LIKE THE BADDIE HE IS??? crazy stuff. i want more. NOW!!

belmont and von pushup

OKAY SO... storytime is i had an edit of these two a long time ago but i cant find it???? so consider it xander lost media at the moment. you guys need to hear me out on this because they would be SOOO PEAK!!! jock and goth but to another level i fear. as big and tough the iron tank guys are, i doubt they can stand grimm fc's haunted gimmicks.

plus von pushup works together w belmont to scare his own team bc he thinks its hilarious and perfect psychological training for them

AAAAAND THAT'S ALL... for now hehehe

sorry for the really long response but I HAD TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM!!!! i love crackships so much and especially in supa strikas bc we get a whole lot of freedom as a smaller fandom to do whatever. this was a very fun post to make, thank you so much mimpi for that lovely question!!! i always look forward to your input

[mattsbratt333]

TW: The following contains mentions of r*pe, SA, and religious trauma.

I went to a very bad religious school growing up, that gave me severe religious ocd and trauma, that I was too scared to talk to my parents about until I left the school.

Thankfully, I am in the process of healing and trying to forget and undo the trauma I have. I do not like to consider myself "religious" in the sense that I have to do or partake in any specific religious activity to earn my salvation. However, I personally believe that God is more of a father figure and a loving God rather than the harmful things I was taught and feared of as a child. I want to state that regardless of my view on God and religion, I believe everyone should have their own opinion and view and I am no where near entitled to speak on how people should live their lives. However, I am only stating how I live my life.

When I was fourteen years old, there was this boy at my school that was known for molesting his younger sister. I blame the school leaders for not forcing him to leave this school as he was only there because his parents made him attend. He would watch me and sometimes follow me as well. As I was too scared to speak up to anyone about this I continue to not say anything and avoid him at all cost.

One day I went to go walk to the bathrooms, and he followed behind me. Thankfully I saw him walking behind me from the glass doors that showed his reflection. Panicking, as I knew that I was alone and he was following me, I sped up as fast as I could. I cannot express the fear and the pit in my stomach as I realized that nobody was around to help me. I thank God so much for protecting me in that moment, because a former police officer who was now a teacher at that school so happened to exit the mens bathroom at the very moment that the boy was close to catching up to me. I have never, in my life experienced a relief like that before.

So when I say that rape is not a kink or a joke or a subject to write fanfic about, I mean that with everything in me. I cannot express how sick to my stomach I am about the things i am seeing on this app. Seeing everything makes this all come rushing back to me, and I cannot sit back and not express my concern. I don't really know what to say or how to say what i'm feeling, but know that if you support any form of that terrible account, I ask that you would block me immediately. I am trying to heal and seeing kinks about something that I barely escaped from experiencing first hand makes me sick. I cannot even imagine the pain from those who have experienced something as terrible as this.

My heart is hearting for all of you, that have experienced this or have been close to this happening to them. Please know that I am here for you all, I understand how hard and damaging experiencing religious trauma is and how these terrible acts of evil can hurt someone. Please reach out to me if you need to talk or rant. Because I know that as a fourteen year old living in fear of the things she was taught, that it is a living hell.

[daytaker]

Lucifer:

Ah, yes. Family is the most important thing, isn't it? I value my brothers above everything else. Unfortunately, my brothers don't value themselves nearly as highly, so I'm forced to resort to extreme methods to protect them from the consequences of their actions. Like tying them to the ceiling, for example.

It's unfortunate that they aren't mature enough to recognize when I'm doing something for their benefit and complain simply because it restricts their freedom or itches or "hurts".

Mammon:

Oh, you mean the five little brothers who disrespect me at every turn and the older brother that likes usin' me as a punching bag? Those guys? Don't I spend enough of my time thinkin' about them already? Sheesh.

Asmo's fun to hang with, though.

Levi:

My family...? If you're talking about my brothers... Ugh. I'd rather not think about them. Lucifer's a tyrant, Mammon's constantly stealing my stuff, Satan's always petting a cat, reading a book, or destroying something, Asmo's always out being loud in loud places around other loud people, and the twins...

The twins are alright, actually. Heheh.

But my real family is Henry 2.0. Henry is always there for me when I need him. He never laughs at me. Never calls me a crusty otaku. Never tells me to wash my dakimura because "who knows what shit that's seen" or says I should give that cosplay outfit to Asmo since it'd look better on him or insults my intelligence by calling her Ruby Hana and expecting me to believe he made an honest mistake...!!

Satan:

Are you intentionally antagonizing me? I don't mind Belphie, since we have..."mutual interests", but the rest of them annoy me.

I'm not going to talk about Lucifer right now.

Asmo:

My brothers are super annoying, but they're also really cute! I like that they all let me do their nails. It makes me feel closer to them!

I admire Lucifer, and I think Satan's pretty reliable when he isn't angry. Belphie's also alright. He's super cute when he's asleep! But Mammon's a scumbag, Beel only ever thinks about food, and Levi... Oh, Levi. I don't know what to think about Levi. Is he okay?

Beel:

Belphie's my closest sibling. I'll always look out for him.

But when I think about family, I can't help but think about Lilith too... I get that awful sinking feeling in my gut, and I can't stop thinking about how I let her down...

Belphie:

Beel is my favorite brother, of course. I never really get annoyed with him the way I do with Lucifer and Mammon. He doesn't bother me when I sleep, either.

I've been spending more time with Satan lately since we formed our Anti-Lucifer League. I've learned that he's actually pretty funny and creative. He's a whiz at curses. But I've also learned that I never, ever want to be on his bad side.

Ask my character about their family!

Originaly by promptnebula

[genderqueerdykes]

Hey, I normally agree with and support everything you say, but I think veering into "some trans women need to unlearn male socialization" is not it. It's zero percent toxic masculinity, just the same misogyny people of all genders and AGABs have ingrained into them. I don't really see how the behavior of transandrophobic trans women is much different than a lot of cis women. It is really, really not helping.

Again, I think you're cool. I love what you do and say here. But that post was rough and I tell you that out of sincere care.

hey thanks for this ask! i appreciate the criticism!

even if you like me, you do NOT have to blindly agree with every thing i say! please don't EVER feel obligated to agree with something i said that you didn't like just because you like me and what i have to say most of the time. you can like a person and agree with most of what they have to say, but it's very good to not want to just agree with something you think is wrong just because you like a person. nobody should have to do that. nobody should have to say well i like you but i don't like this thing that you said so i guess i'll let it slide. i don't want anyone to ever feel obligated to just let dangerous thinking slide because they like me and agree with me in general.

criticism is important because everyone is learning. everyone has the chance to have a bad take or a bad thought. everyone runs the risk of having ideas or thoughts that are not on the right track. that includes me- i'm definitely not perfect and i don't want people to think i "always" have the right take, because that's just not possible for a person. i have to learn, too. i have to have my mistakes pointed out, too- and when people do that, i appreciate it!

i, too, have bad perspective on things at times, and i don't mind it at all when someone points out that they do not think what i was saying was it. i really appreciate when people do give criticism because i really do not want to be seen as this perfect person who always has everything figured out. i'm capable of having bad takes as well and that's not to excuse it, rather, it's a chance for people to point something out and correct my line of thinking, which is something i'm never going to be bothered by

as much as i am here to spread the knowledge that i have, i'm also here to listen to what other people are saying as well. i do not feel like i'm a definitive source on every single queer topic, as there are perspectives i am not familiar with, and i'm learning every day. which is a good thing, i want people to reach out and say hey, here's how this line of thinking can be dangerous, because i take that seriously. i don't want people to think that i think that i know everything because i don't. and i'm always striving to improve. just like you, i also screw up sometimes, and i don't want anyone to think that i don't want to acknowledge that.

learning from mistakes is how we grow, and i appreciate it so much when people point out that i've made a mistake! i do not want to stay rooted in the same behavior forever if it's genuinely toxic and even dangerous. there's no reason for me to hang on to something if it's hurting someone else.

i have things to learn, too, and i appreciate it when people say hey. this isn't it. like. that's not gonna bother me. if i genuinely have a bad take, i want to be told! if i need to re-think a talking point, i want to be told! there's nothing wrong or bad about that at all. i'm not up my own ass, i do not believe that i never make mistakes. thanks for letting me know, i genuinely appreciate that! i, just like anyone else, can have a bad take or questionable logic, and it's important for folks to take the time to let me know so i can re-think things!

thanks to everyone who has provided constructive criticism! i take that very seriously :) take care of yourself, have a great day!

[claraoswalds]

#mrs flood who are you: time lord edition