#if nobody's going to ask me something then i'm going to ask me something
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libraryofgage · 1 day ago
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so i wrote this yesterday and now it's become a whole thing
basically: Steve is actually smart but nobody realized it until he just fixes their various STEM related problems
anyway this is Eddie's very first experience with how smart Steve Harrington actually is
also please don't call me out if my physics explanations are wrong. just suspend your disbelief, i'm begging you lmao
also also, if you see any typos, no you didn't
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"You're going to fail my class, Munson."
"Gee, no need to sugarcoat it," Eddie mutters, shoving his hands into his pockets and avoiding Miss Chester's gaze. His eyes land on one of the posters behind her desk, a cat hanging off a tree branch. Maybe it would like to trade places.
Miss Chester sighs, looking pointedly at the desk closest to hers. She waits until Eddie sits on it, legs hanging over the edge. "I'm serious," she says. "You're going to fail, Eddie. I don't want you to, but there's just some...disconnect happening here."
He appreciates that she's not totally blaming him. Most of Eddie's other teachers would've been berating him for his laziness by now. This, among other things, is why Eddie likes her class even if he can't wrap his head around physics at all. "I don't know, Miss. It just doesn't make sense."
"So I'm noticing." Miss Chester leans back in her chair, her finger tapping against her desk. Eddie immediately recognizes it as the drum beat from a KISS song. "You know you'll probably be held back if you fail, right?"
"Not the first time."
Miss Chester waves off his words, looking deep in thought. "What do you think about tutoring? I think you'll do better in a one-on-one setting. If you understand the concepts better, I can start grading you based on the work you do with the tutor."
"It wouldn't be you?" Eddie asks, frowning slightly. He's not sure he wants some random geek tutoring him. Not that he has anything against geeks, of course, but he's never known one to talk in a way he can understand. They get all...technical and Eddie's eyes glaze over whenever he overhears their conversations.
"No, I don't have the time. But don't worry," Miss Chester says, smiling reassuringly before pulling her roster close and looking down the list. "The student I have in mind probably knows more than me, if I'm being honest. He should be able to answer any question you have."
"What student?"
"His name is Steve."
Of course, Eddie immediately thinks of that Steve. King Steve. Steve "The Hair" Harrington with his blinding smile that's always looked a little strained in Eddie's opinion.
He then dismisses Steve Harrington as a possibility and reviews the other kids named Steve at Hawkins High. There's Steve Paulson, Steve Meyers, and Steve Barns. Maybe it's Barns? He's the only one that Eddie could imagine being somewhat good at physics.
"Are you open to tutoring?" Miss Chester asks. "For one session, at least?"
"Yeah, sure, one session. Won't help, though."
Miss Chester smiles like she knows something Eddie doesn't. Which, to be fair, she does. She knows a lot more than Eddie in terms of physics, at least. "I'll set it up. Just come by tomorrow after school."
--------
On his first day at Hawkins High, Steve realized two things.
One, his parents weren't kidding when they'd said public school would be vastly different from the private group tutoring he'd received up to that point.
Two, if he wanted to have a good high school experience, he needed to be cool. And being cool, it seemed, meant not being smart. He didn't need to be dumb, but he couldn't breeze through his classes, either.
He's done a good job of it so far. He's bored beyond reason in most of his classes, sure, but he's also popular. Nobody bothers him or tries to copy off of him, and it's great. He can even swallow down the weird surge of frustration and annoyance and guilt whenever his classmates assume he's too dumb to be a good project partner, or when his parents ask why he isn't enrolled in AP classes, or when his teachers give him confused looks after he aces tests for a unit he seemingly didn't pay attention to.
Anyway, he almost rejected Miss Chester's request to tutor a student from a different class period. He was just about to say he didn't have the time when she leveled him with a look so profoundly hopeful that he just couldn't. So, Steve said yes and now he's hesitating outside the physics classroom.
What if the student inside uses this against him? Steve thinks he could play it off, maybe convince his friends that the kid is lying, but he's not sure. Nothing dire would happen, but Steve would have to reorient himself to a new place on the social ladder, and that sounds exhausting.
"Just get it over with," he mumbles. Then, before he can chicken out and just leave the other student hanging, he opens the door and steps into the classroom.
Miss Chester isn't there. Steve knew she wouldn't be. She'd said something about a department meeting that would take her time but leave them with the classroom to themselves.
The only other person in the room is Eddie Munson, bent over a notebook and furiously scribbling on the page. He looks up when the door opens and freezes at the sight of Steve. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Eddie breaks the silence by asking, "What, get lost on your way to the locker room, Harrington?"
Steve blinks, frowns slightly, and takes a deep breath. Okay. Fine. Eddie Munson it is. "Nope. Miss Chester asked me to tutor you," he says, because that's the only reason another student would be in this room after school has let out.
Eddie laughs. He nearly falls out of his chair with how hard he laughs. He's wheezing and clutching the edges of the desk by the time Steve moves another desk to face him and sits down across from him. "Are you done, Munson?" he asks.
"Holy shit, you're serious," Eddie says, his voice slightly strained and his face red from laughing. "No fucking way Steve Harrington is here to tutor me in physics. You probably don't even know what two plus two is!"
"It's four. Do you know what 12 times 40 is?" Steve asks, watching as Eddie blinks.
"I'm not a fucking calculator, man."
"No, you're not. It's 480, by the way."
"You could've just memorized that."
Steve sighs and reaches into his bag, digging around some before pulling a calculator out. He places it on Eddie's desk and says, "Ask me something."
Eddie looks at him like he's grown a second head but still pulls the calculator closer. "1,239 plus 378."
"1,617."
He watches Eddie use the calculator, feeling smug when his face twists into confused disbelief. He then puts the calculator down and frowns at Steve. "So you can add, big whoop. Doesn't mean you can teach me shit about physics."
"Won't know until we try," Steve says, resting his elbow on the desk and propping his chin in his palm. "So, what don't you get?"
"...All of it. Just assume I don't know shit."
"You don't know Newton's laws?"
Eddie snorts, looking back down at his notebook. "There's that motion one and the reaction one," he says.
"Right. Newton's first law and his third. What about the second?"
"It's just...some equation or some shit."
Okay, Steve is starting to get an idea of where things stand. He thinks for a moment before asking, "What kind of stuff do you like?"
"What?"
"What do you like?"
Eddie looks so shocked by the question that he doesn't really think before answering, "Heavy metal. And, uh, D&D, too."
Steve knows heavy metal is music, and he could work with that but the D&D Eddie mentioned might be better. "What does it involve? The D&D?"
"It's a fantasy role playing game. Like, using your imagination to go on adventures with friends and stuff. Needs dice to work."
Oh. Perfect. "Do you have dice with you?" Steve asks. After another brief pause, Eddie nods and pulls one out of his pocket. He passes it over and watches as Steve turns it between his fingers. "Oh, an icosahedron. Cool."
"A what?"
"Icosahedron," Steve says, looking at Eddie. "It just means a twenty-sided polyhedron."
Eddie still looks confused, and Steve is about to explain it again when Eddie says, "Just call it a D20, dude."
"Oh. Sure. Anyway, let's use this," Steve says, rolling it between his fingers before letting it clatter to the desk. It bounces a few times before settling, a 17 facing up. "Do you know what made it stop moving?"
"The desk. I'm not an idiot, Harrington."
"I didn't say you were, Munson," Steve replies, leaning back slightly. "Just...yes, the desk stopped it. This is Newton's first law. If the desk wasn't there, it would have kept falling until it hit the floor. It stopped bouncing because it lost power each time it hit the desk. An object, the D20, will stay in motion, falling, unless acted upon by another force, the desk."
"That...kinda made sense," Eddie says, blinking a few times.
"Great!" Steve says, unable to help the bright smile at knowing Eddie understood him. "Okay, for the second law, the equation is mass times acceleration equals force. Basically, the movement of an object depends on how much it weighs and how much force you apply."
"Aaaand ya lost me," Eddie says.
"Okay, uh, you fight things in that game, right?"
"Yeah, kind of the whole point."
"Right, yeah, and the stuff you fight comes in different sizes, right?"
"Well, an orc isn't gonna be as big as a dragon, is it?"
Steve isn't really sure what an orc is, but he nods anyway. "Right. So if you want to move a dragon, you need to land a stronger hit than you would need for an orc."
"Duh. You're not gonna fell a dragon with a basic cantrip."
"Not sure what that is, but yeah. For this example, moving, or defeating, an object, or a dragon that weighs more than an orc, relies on how much force you apply, which is the strength you use."
"Oh. So, because an orc weighs less, I don't need as much force to defeat it," Eddie says, grinning as he fidgets with his pencil. "This doesn't really sound like math, though."
Steve shrugs. "We'll get to the math part later. Right now is basics. You need to understand those to do more complicated stuff. So, the third law, this is the action-reaction law. Music might be better for it. What happens when you strum a guitar?"
"It...makes a sound. Because it's an instrument."
"Well, yeah, but do you understand how the sound is being made."
"By...strumming it?"
"Yeah, that's part of it. Sounds are vibrations in the air that we can understand. If you touch your throat while talking, you'll feel your voice box, your larynx, vibrate to make the sound of you talking."
He waits as Eddie does exactly that. While holding his fingers to his throat, Eddie says, "Didn't know it was called a larynx. Oh, fuck, yeah, there are vibrations."
Steve nods, waiting patiently as Eddie hums for a few minutes before looking back at him. "So, vibrations. Instruments make sound because playing them causes vibrations. When you strum a guitar, the strings rapidly move back and forth, and that movement is translated into notes."
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but yeah, I'm following you."
"So, the action of strumming a guitar creates the reaction of the strings vibrating. That action of the strings vibrating creates the reaction of air rippling, and those ripples create the reaction of audible noise. Did that make sense?"
"Yeah. It did," Eddie says, his voice soft as he stares at Steve like he's really seeing him for the first time.
Steve shifts uncomfortably, unused to this aspect of himself being known so well by someone at school. He's almost tempted to end things now and apologize to Miss Chester for walking out halfway through a tutoring session. Steve is practicing the apology in his head when Eddie says, "Hey, by the way, sorry for earlier."
"What?" Steve asks, trying to blink away his confusion and failing.
"You know, earlier, when I laughed at you? Pretty shitty of me to do. So, yeah, I'm sorry."
"Oh." Steve stares at Eddie for a few seconds before his shoulders relax. "It's fine. I'm not exactly known for being smart."
"Why not?"
"It's just...easier to let people think I'm dumb. Most of our classmates look at me and think I'm just, you know, a typical jock. They don't expect more from me than that, and I don't expect them to look any deeper."
"Does anyone else know, though?"
"My parents and the teachers. And you."
"Well, don't worry, big boy. Your secret's safe with me."
"Big boy?"
"Don't like it? Would you prefer Stevie?" Eddie asks, grinning as he leans in and exaggeratedly waggles his eyebrows at Steve.
Steve can't help snorting at the sight. "Whatever. Just call me what you want, Eddie," he says.
He tries to ignore the weird swooping in his stomach when Eddie's smile gets wider and he says, "You better not regret it, Stevie."
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mvrkieboo · 1 day ago
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Old Bloodhounds
P51 | jeong y/n
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"Thank you for this, Park. I appreciate it." Taeyong spoke tiredly into the phone, and he could hear Chanyeol laugh on the other line.
"Kid, you've worked with me for nearly a year now, ease up a bit and just call me Chanyeol. Here, the name at the top of the list, Kim Soyeon, owns a café in Sinchon. Says here it's supposed to close in another hour. Hey, I'll give you the rest of the info through text—just get going already, Yongie." Chanyeol's voice took a sober turn, understanding the current mood. It was also Chanyeol who ended the call right after.
Kyungsoo had texted him you were currently undergoing emergency surgery, and you were probably getting out of it the next morning considering the stab wound punctured your lung and broke through your ribs. The paramedic also found that there was a nasty gash at the back of your head, a possible concussion...or worse. Taeyong cringed when he read the details of your injuries, but he shook his head.
You were going to make it out alive, he was sure of it. From what he had gathered from Kyungsoo about who you were as a person, you were strong, and you'd been good in keeping your promise to them to hold on—so Taeyong had a lot of trust in you that you'd keep that promise 'til the end.
Nobody on the list was picking up his calls, it's why he asked for Chanyeol's assistance in gathering more info regarding the people on your list. When Chanyeol's text came through, Taeyong focused on the address of Kim Soyeon's café.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
When Taeyong parked the car, that's when he noticed the bloodstains you had left on his jacket and shirt. His jacket was already black, so it didn't really show, but his button-up shirt under the jacket was light blue—now partly red, soaked in your blood. He took out his wet tissue packet and cleaned his jacket before zipping it all the way up. Glancing at his cleaned up watch, it was currently 8:21 p.m. He got out of the car with a heavy feeling lingering in his chest.
As he got to the café's front entrance, your note in his hands, he noticed that the sign on the front entrance said 'CLOSED' and another note below said 'PRIVATE EVENT'. Since the café had large window panes all over, he could see there was a private celebration inside, and there were mostly young adult attendees. He knocked on the glass door, and a kind looking middle aged woman opened the door, not exiting fully.
"Good evening. I'm sorry, but the café is closed to the public for now—"
Taeyong shook his head awkwardly and took out his badge, showing it to her.
"My name is Lee Taeyong, and I'm a detective from Gangnam's Police Force. Ma'am, do you happen to be Kim Soyeon?" This wouldn't be the first time he had to do a house visit to inform a victim's family, but it never got easier.
And it never will.
Soyeon paused, before exiting the café completely and closed the door behind her. Nobody noticed the exchange happening, too caught up in their own conversations.
At first, Soyeon thought he was here to inform about her ex-husband—maybe found dead from alcohol poisoning somewhere in Gangnam, or he was arrested and needed someone to bail him out. So that was the first thing she asked.
"Is this about my ex-husband?" Soyeon pursed her lips a little, hugging herself in the cold autumn night.
"No, ma'am, it's regarding...it's Jeong Y/N. I understand that— based on this note she gave me—you're close with her?" Taeyong felt like he was speaking with a mouth filled with molasses. His tongue felt heavy, and even his lips too.
He showed the note to Kim Soyeon, suddenly finding himself tongue-tied. When she read the contents of the note, her hands began to shake as her grip on the note tightened, crumpling the paper.
"...she's like a daughter to me. Did something happen to her?" She spoke in a near whispery tone, and Taeyong almost didn't hear her.
When Soyeon clarified her relationship with you, calling you a daughter figure to her, Taeyong's heart broke into two as he felt shame creeping up his body. He moved to kneel before her, making her shriek, because she knew that a detective wouldn't kneel to a random civilian unless something really bad actually happened to you.
Everyone else in the café froze in silence when they heard her shriek and turned to the glass doors of the front entrance, seeing an unknown man kneeling in front of Soyeon. Geonwoo marched up to the front entrance, opening the glass doors immediately, worried for his mother. Woojin was just right behind him.
"Mom, what's going—"
She bent down, hands on Taeyong's shoulders as she pulled on his jacket, and as his jacket rode up, his bloodstained shirt under peaked through, gaining Woojin's attention at just how soaked in blood it was. The note dropped on the pavement near Taeyong's knees.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO HER? WHERE'S Y/N! TELL ME!" Soyeon yelled loudly, pulling the attention of the people inside and outside of the café.
Yuno and his father, upon hearing your name, quickly went to the front entrance too, wondering why Soyeon was shrieking out your name like a mad woman.
Geonwoo held his mother, confused with what she was talking about. Yuno noticed there was a written note near Taeyong's knees and bent down to pick up, freezing when he recognized the writing.
"Jeong Y/N was found beaten and stabbed multiple times near downtown Seoul—and is currently receiving emergency surgery at TaeHo Memorial Hospital. I'll explain everything once we get to the hospital, ma'am. My partner is there waiting for Y/N to get out of surgery."
Mark who was huddled up near the entrance with the rest of the attendees—wedged between Haechan and Yuta—dropped his drink to the floor, glass shattering on the tiles.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Yangyang truly didn't give a fuck. His name was also on the list, along with Xiaojun's and Aeri's, so they should be allowed to go to the hospital too. Aeri was crying in the passenger seat with Xiaojun sitting still in the back, looking like he was in shock. Yangyang pressed on the gas pedal when Geonwoo's Ford truck in front of him was beginning to get farther away from his McLaren.
Right in front of Geonwoo's truck was the detective's car, revolving light shining red and alarm ringing out loud in the night. Mark rode with Geonwoo and Woojin, while Soyeon, Yuno and your dad rode with the detective.
"God, please let Y/N remain among the living. Please, please, please... don't take her away from those who love her so soon..." Yangyang could hear Aeri's incessant prayers, making him slam his hand on the wheel at how heartbreaking it was to hear her pray through choked sobs.
Aeri was never that religious, and him and Xiao didn't even believe in anything at all—but he hoped that Aeri's prayers were heard and granted. In fact, even his heart was praying alongside Aeri.
He really thought they had moved past you now, he really did. At least, he thought he himself did. He remembered feeling nothing but disdain when he saw you at the post mortem meeting a week ago, and he thought that was him forgetting all about you.
But as he prayed in his heart, to a higher power he didn't even personally believe in, he realised he will always care for you no matter what, whether he wanted to or not.
He floored the pedal.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Geonwoo, Woojin and Mark ran to the waiting area, with your friends right behind them too. They came to see your father kneeling in front of a man standing beside Detective Lee, Mr. Jeong's hands pulling on the man's shirt—and they assumed that man was Taeyong's partner, Detective Do Kyungsoo. Geonwoo and Woojin were familiar with his name, albeit a little sparsely, because you had mentioned Detective Do before.
Yuno was bent behind your father, supporting the older man even when he himself was starting to crack, tears streaming down his face.
"How could someone as small as my daughter bleed this much!" Your father wailed, and it made Geonwoo and Woojin stop in their tracks as they fully took in Detective Do.
Kyungsoo had a haunted look across his face as he held your father's hands, and the shirt your father was gripping on was soaked in red. Even the cuffs of his corduroy jacket were bloodstained. Even his hands had dried blood on them. He was so soaked in your blood, they understood exactly what your father was feeling right now.
Pure unadulterated fear.
"Mom..." Geonwoo uttered out, and his mom broke down hearing her son's voice, urging him to go and be with her.
As soon she felt his arms around her, she let out a sob, "She was stabbed twice, it broke through her ribs and punctured her lung. They suspect a concussion too, based on the gash she had at the back of her head."
Yuno began to pull your father up, face suddenly blank of any emotions. It was as if hell froze over for him.
"You never told us who did this to her." Yuno spoke almost emotionlessly—but Mark, who had known him the longest besides your father, could tell he was furious.
Kyungsoo stared at his hands and shirt, feeling like he could never wash your blood off of him. He heard Yuno's question loud and clear, but he was just thinking on where he should start.
Did your fate get sealed the moment Junyoung stepped into the police station and filed a report on Yoonsu was exploiting you? When Junyoung suddenly disappeared right after he graduated? When Yoonsu managed to slip away as they busted down the doors of his establishment?
Or should he start with the fact that this all happened because of him and his old partner being reckless enough to involve a teenage girl in their investigation on a ruthless loanshark like Yoonsu?
"Hyung..." Taeyong spoke softly.
Kyungsoo took out your locket from his jacket's front pocket. He felt his heart drop when he noticed you were wearing this locket as you lied on the stretcher inside the ambulance. He recognized the locket—you had worn it before when you were still Yoonsu's prized girlfriend. This was the bugged locket Yoonsu made you wear.
That fucker was sick in the head.
Mark—of all people, Mark—walked up to Kyungsoo and gripped on the collar of his jacket, shaking the detective, frustrated with his lack of words. Everyone else balked at the sight while Woojin moved quickly to try and hold the younger man back, holding on to his shoulder, but Mark shook Woojin's hand off of him.
"Stop staying quiet, you bastard—tell us who did this to her!" Mark raised his voice.
"Mark!" Woojin yelled, and Taeyong was already trying to wedge himself between them too.
"It was Cha Yoonsu. Beat her up good, then he stabbed her twice before he stabbed himself in the throat...can't arrest a dead guy." Kyungsoo uttered out, voice as monotoned as Yuno's before.
Geonwoo and Woojin froze, while the rest of your friends and family were wondering just who the fuck was Cha Yoonsu? Geonwoo let go of his mother, beyond perplexed with Kyungsoo's answer. Didn't you tell them that Yoonsu was already dead more than a week ago?
"Cha Yoonsu? Didn't you make her come down to Gangnam mortuary a week ago to ID his corpse?" Woojin asked what Geonwoo was thinking, and the detective let out a scoff.
"Gosh, back then he even had me fooled. Held Y/N hostage with that blackmail hanging over her head and made her his puppet." Kyungsoo sighed, messing with his hair as he was reminded of how foolish he had been, thinking that the corpse on the mortuary slab was actually Yoonsu.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Who the fuck is Cha Yoonsu? And what do you mean by blackmail!" Yangyang broke out in anger, frustrated that he wasn't understanding a single thing coming out of anyone's mouth at the moment.
"And where's Junyoung? She had plans with him for tonight." Aeri spoke through hiccups, and Xiaojun wrapped an arm around her shoulders to calm her down once the shock wore off.
Kyungsoo and Taeyong felt like the fog was lifted; these people knew jackshit. No wonder they were fooled by Yoonsu's poor rendition of Junyoung—no wonder you left Taeyong that note. This was what you meant by not wanting to keep them in the dark anymore. They had very little idea on what you actually went through back then.
In fact, it was as if they had very little idea on who Jeong Y/N really was before they met her.
"I need all of you to sit first as I explain to you how everything led up to this. Please, take a seat everyone. I'm now well aware just how little you know about Y/N's past." Kyungsoo sighed.
"We know she was forced to work for a loanshark to clear her late stepfather's debt after our mother abandoned her." Yuno spoke out, and Kyungsoo tilted his head at him.
"Then how come some of you don't know who's Cha Yoonsu?" Taeyong asked sincerely.
"Who is Cha Yoonsu?" Yangyang asked again, still clearly frustrated.
Kyungsoo and Taeyong eyed Geonwoo and Woojin, because out of all of them, the ex MMA athletes were the ones that seemed to be aware of who exactly was Cha Yoonsu.
"Cha Yoonsu was the loanshark she was forced to work for. He had her working as a stripper at his illegal establishment, and also coerced her into a romantic relationship with him while she worked under him. This locket was gifted to her with the promise that he would marry her once her debt was settled." Kyungsoo explained thoroughly who Cha Yoonsu was, and what kind of man he had been, holding up the locket they had seen you wear ever since you introduced them to Junyoung.
Geonwoo and Woojin looked at each other—they didn't know that he had made you his girlfriend at one point while you worked for him. This was something you didn't tell them about your past—something you hid from them.
Everyone felt sick to their stomach, going pale at the realization this all happened when you were still a teenager.
Your father felt his knees going weak and practically dropped himself on the chair, while your brother felt bile coming up his throat imagining his teenager younger sister dating an adult man who obviously wanted to take advantage of you.
"What a disgusting bastard." Mark spoke out quietly, but you could still hear the fury in his voice.
"Lee Junyoung was Y/N's senior at Cheongdaebi High in Gangnam, it's where they met. They eventually became close friends. Junyoung was an illegitimate child of the Lee Media Conglomerate, so he had quite a reputation in Gangnam already. He also had a cousin on his stepmother's side who worked in Gangnam's Police Force Organized Crime Unit—that was my old partner, Kim Junmyeon.
When Junyoung found out Y/N was in an abusive relationship, and her boyfriend also turned out to be the loanshark who was exploiting her, he filed a police report to his cousin. We were already investigating Cha Yoonsu and building a case against him—so when we found out Junyoung's little friend was also Yoonsu's girlfriend, we roped her in. Made her our mole in Yoonsu's workforce." Geonwoo and Woojin bristled, finding it so reckless of them for putting you in a dangerous spot.
It was why Yoonsu was so hellbent in getting his revenge on you. Ignoring the way Geonwoo and Woojin were glaring at him, Kyungsoo continued.
"Yoonsu already kept an eye out on Junyoung because he was close to Y/N, but he was livid when he found out the kid filed a police report against him. Right after Junyoung graduated, he disappeared. Many thought he ran away from his family, but Y/N was convinced Yoonsu did something to him, so she filed a missing person's report for Junyoung.
Once we gathered sufficient evidence through Y/N's help, we busted down the doors of his establishment only for him to slip away after he could confirm it was Y/N that had been our informant—it was the botched operation of the decade." The older detective let out a bitter smile, remembering how harshly his captain had slapped him for letting Yoonsu slip away, and for letting you flee Gangnam.
"So the Junyoung Y/N introduced to us..." Xiaojun asked tentatively, horror written all over his face.
"It had been Cha Yoonsu who had cosmetic procedures done on him to look like Lee Junyoung. Y/N was well aware of who he really was, so she wasn't fooled in any way." Taeyong confirmed, making Xiaojun promptly ask the next question—
"Then why didn't she say something—anything to let us know she was in danger?"
Taeyong gulped, while a haze glazed over Kyungsoo's eyes. They remembered the first time they opened the blackmail file Yoonsu had over you. Pictures and videos—countless of it—of a teenager you in skimpy clothing, dancing upon the pole with slimy men surrounding you, and your face clearly showed that you'd rather be anywhere else but there.
"The fucker had a file filled with pictures and videos of her when she worked as his stripper—he blackmailed her with it. He also hacked her phone and made her wear this locket which—" Kyungsoo paused, holding up the locket again and opening it to show them the contents, "—contains a bug that could pick up on everything Y/N says. She was constantly under his surveillance. She was his hostage. Y/N was trapped. If she says one wrong thing, then those pictures will spread across her faculty, then her whole campus, the nation—anyone would know better than to take Yoonsu's threats lightly, even though he is a disgraced boss now."
"As some of you know," Taeyong began to take over, looking over to Geonwoo and Woojin as he stressed on 'some', "we had Y/N come down to Gangnam mortuary to ID a corpse we believed was Yoonsu's, and she did give us a positive ID—however, just three days after, she reached out to Detective Do through an unknown number and begged us to believe her when she said Yoonsu was still alive...and she was currently living with him.
It was a good thing Detective Do went ahead and sent the corpse to another mortuary that confirmed it wasn't actually Yoonsu's—and that's how we began to investigate this 'Lee Junyoung' Y/N was living with, and got to reopen the case against Cha Yoonsu. We got to hack into his phone and wipe out the blackmail file he had over her, and uncovered the text messages he exchanged with Y/N and—" Taeyong crossed his arms, taking a pause in telling the main points to address something that stuck to him ever since he read the text messages between you and Yoonsu.
"—I just want to let you know it was always in Yoonsu's plan for Y/N to isolate herself from you. Y/N never wanted to make you feel like you didn't matter to her, but he was blackmailing her to do so. Detective Do once told me she's people-centric, and Yoonsu was well aware of that. It was just a way for Yoonsu to put her through psychological torture."
Everyone's heart broke and tore itself apart hearing Taeyong say that.
Yuno dropped his head and covered his face with his hands, rubbing it when he was reminded of the argument he had with you before you moved out, how he had ignored you during your last days in the condo, practically treated you like you were an unappreciated houseplant. Now that he knew you never meant the things you said, but he had meant his every single word and action.
Geonwoo and Woojin were reminded of the last time they texted you through 'the crew' groupchat, and how Woojin had told you 'good riddance' when you confirmed you were moving in with 'Junyoung'.
Yangyang remembered how horribly he treated you, openly ignoring you to get his disdain for you across, the way you clearly looked uncomfortable and sad during the post mortem meeting for how they treated you. Aeri looked back and reminisced about the time you called each other 'soulmates', and how easily she got rid of the memories when she chose to ignore you from the day of the concert.
Xiaojun could never forgive himself for treating you like a distant acquaintance as if he hadn't told you his regrets and secrets that you still kept close to your heart despite the fallout. It was worse than just openly ignoring you—whereas Yangyang and Aeri were at least open with their dislike for you, Xiaojun treated you with indifference. As if he wasn't at all affected with you pulling yourself away from them, like he didn't really care for you at all.
Mark felt like puking when he realised the last time he argued with spoke to you, he had called you a coward. Of all the insults he could use that would at least be generic, surface-level and the least hurtful, he called you a coward. You were getting blackmailed, held hostage, and manipulated by a slimy bastard—and he called you a coward. As if you weren't being the bravest you'd ever been as you faced Yoonsu alone with no one else on your side. As if you haven't always been the bravest among them.
When everyone's reminded of their promise to forget you, it felt like their whole chest was caving in. When they tried to imagine just how alone you had been, how hurt you were to see them push you away, it felt like there were bullets getting lodged inside their chest for every time they yelled, berated, and ignored you.
Seeing everyone go quiet at the realization they had played a part in Yoonsu's plan to psychologically break you, both detectives sighed. Yoonsu intended for this kind of damage. Not only you suffered, but the pain also bled through to everyone else around you, to the people who love and care for you.
"It was just hours ago when we wiped out the file from his phone. Once we did it, we told Y/N to leave their apartment so we could get to arrest him, but she didn't listen. She..." Kyungsoo sighed in the middle, opening his phone and showed the text messages he exchanged with you just hours ago, "...she still followed him to where he was taking her because she still wanted to know what he did to Junyoung—where his body was buried. I know for a fact she had never stopped mourning for him...and it's why she felt responsible for his death. Why she decided to put herself in danger anyway, how she ended up getting beaten up and stabbed by Yoonsu—because that's just who she is. Jeong Y/N. So selfless, it's actually selfish."
That was the actualisation of who you really were. Selfishly selfless. They now know of who Jeong Y/N truly is at her core.
Damn you.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"Jeong Y/N." The main surgeon spoke out hoarsely—she had been in that surgical suite for more than 6 hours.
It was in the dead of the night, the large digital clock in the waiting area displayed '03:06 A.M.' in blaring red. Kyungsoo and Taeyong stood up while the rest woke up who had dozed off into light slumber. They couldn't really sleep too deeply, when they're still not sure of your fate in that surgical suite.
When a total of 11 people came to her at the sound of your name, she nearly took a step back. This was a lot of people to be waiting for someone to get out of surgery.
"How is she, Doc?" Kyungsoo asked stiffly, feeling his breath slow as he waited for her to answer.
"She pulled through."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
She's a fighter. One of the stab wounds managed to puncture her right lung, and even broke through her 8th and 9th rib. I managed to fix them up, of course, but with how much blood she was losing, within a rapid rate too, I wasn't all that optimistic that she would even make it—but she did. With the way she held on, she saved herself as much as I saved her.
"God, look at what he did to her face. Oh, my sweet girl—what did he do to you?" Yuno's dad sobbed quietly, caressing his daughter's watercolor blotched cheek, as he wailed over your swollen and split lips, your bandaged nose.
Soyeon sat on the sofa of the VIP room, crying silently as she stared at you. She wished she had done something. She wished she had seen through your attempts in pushing her away. What kind of mother was she? When she couldn't even tell her child was in pain and suffering?
Yuno held your open hand, wishing you were gripping on his back, tears streaming down his face but not making a sound as he cried. It broke his heart—he barely recognized you when he saw you. The bruises on your face were too much. He felt his own face aching just by looking at you. He wanted to beat himself up for ignoring before you moved out. He didn't care for all the hurtful things you said to him anymore, he just wanted to be family again.
He wished he got the chance to beat Cha Yoonsu into a pulp.
May I ask what happened to her abuser? Dead? Good. I know she was found beaten at the crime scene, but the bruises all over her body were new and old. Days and weeks old, even. The most severe one was at her stomach—I had to be careful with cutting her torso open because of how sore it was. He kicked her there pretty good, repeatedly too—but thank god not hard enough it would've done any more damage on her rib cage. However, she still needs to take it easy with any kind of upper body and hip movement during her recovery. The rest of the bruises could go away on their own.
"If that bastard was still alive, I would get my whole soccer team—even the benched kids—to jump him for you. I'm even considering defacing his resting place, because he doesn't deserve to rest peacefully for all that he did to you, Y/N." Yangyang heaved in anger from the opposite side of where Yuno was sitting beside your bed. He blinked away his tears, tasting more bitter and sour than salty—fuck, he was so angry and sad that his tears didn't even taste right.
Aeri was holding on to your other hand, still praying, sounding like a zealot. She had hoped her hand kept yours warm too. If Yoonsu was still alive, she wouldn't be braindead enough to think just beating him half to death could ease her anger. She'd burn him, make him a furnace to keep you warm. She'd do anything to him just for you.
Xiaojun was sitting on a chair beside Yangyang, keeping your hair neat. More often than not, you had always complained that even though you loved how long hair looks on you, you sometimes hated how it would feel. Of course, now that you're still sleeping, he'd keep it neat for you. It was the least he could do for you—because it's not like he had the chance to kill Yoonsu for you. The bastard did the honors himself, it seemed.
She's getting wheeled to the VIP room right now. Heard that someone among you has connections to the one who funds this hospital—and good for her, then. After all that kid has been through, I'm glad she gets to rest in a comfortable room, with plenty of space for all of you to fit—just, don't huddle too closely over her, okay? I know you're all worried for her, but she just got out of surgery, so there's still risks of infection and whatnot.
Geonwoo and Woojin were just right outside, talking with a man decked out in an obviously very expensive casual clothing set. The man seemed fond of the ex MMA athletes, even calling them his younger brothers, and it wasn't at all surprising to see him so fond of them considering he drove to the hospital at 3 a.m. in the morning to see them. The man was Hong Minbeom, and he was the one who pulled the strings to get you the VIP room. He's the one behind the hospital's funding.
"Thanks again, Hyung." Geonwoo sighed, looking at the door.
Minbeom beamed at the both of them.
"It's no biggie, kiddos. Just tell her I wish her a speedy recovery."
Minbeom had met you before. When they held a gala to officiate Taeho Memorial Hospital's opening, Geonwoo brought Taeho's granddaughter as his plus one, and Woojin had brought you as their plus one. The chaebol found you to be a cute kid, a good fit with his two younger brothers. He didn't mind doing a favour for you, considering you were also a victim of a bastard loanshark like he had been a victim of Kim Myeonggil.
Here's the bad news though. Clearly, something very hard hit her head, and then she got stabbed not long after—head injury with rapid blood loss is a bad combo. It's why I consider her a miracle. Because of the head injury, there's no telling when she would wake up. Could be days, weeks or months. All I can say right now is just to stay optimistic. If she pulled through during the surgery, then she can also hold on strong enough for this.
Mark stood behind Yuno, heart tearing itself apart as he wondered when you would wake up. It's hard to look at your face while it's marred with heavy bruises and scratches, but it's gut wrenching to do nothing but watch as you stayed asleep, your eyes closed, your mouth in a thin line. He was praying just as incessantly as Aeri was, but not as loud.
Only God knew just how hard his heart was praying for you to wake up—because he wanted those eyes to open and look at him as he begged for your forgiveness, as he promised to stick by your side no matter what after this. All you had to do was wake up.
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A/N : my fingers are now officially broken!!!!
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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blackiron11 · 1 day ago
Text
Be careful what you wish for
Pairing: reader x rio vidal
Trigger warning: body shamming, self harm, suicide attempt, hate self (if you find more, pls let me know)
English is not my first language, etc etc etc. I don't know how to write romance very well either, but I tried. besides, I'm sure I exaggerated the amount of "you" written. I hope you like the story
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You are tired of the daily humiliations and an unhappy life, you want to die. Luckily, a certain Lady Death has a few things to say about your life.
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You come home tired every day. Tired of the humiliations at work, of having to report every mistake made by employees, of your boss yelling at you, all for a mere minimum wage.
You even asked for a salary increase, but he laughed in your face. A promotion would mean that you would have to present yourself to the shareholders and he couldn't allow that, you know why; to get ahead in life, you need to have the right weight and the right face. You don't have that. You know it, your parents know it and your boss knows it, because he looks you up and down, while denying all your dreams.
"But you are a good employee, who knows next year?" he says before you leave. You feel the humiliation run through your veins.
Yes, next year. If your size "L" becomes "XS", if you put on contact lenses and don't wear glasses, if you do facial harmonization. Yes, you have a chance.
Your colleagues don't like you either. They focus on your appearance and the fact that you're too shy and introverted. They've never invited you to Happy Hour after work, or to one of their birthdays either; you don't like drinking, but you've always wanted to fit in.
You decide you don't care. But the truth is that you care so much that it's hurt so bad, and you need to do something to stop this pain.
You also get tired of your parents asking for money or wanting to get a boyfriend to you, never asking how you are or coming to visit you. You get tired of not having friends, or anyone to lean on. You get tired of life.
You sigh as you change your clothes. You always wear long-sleeved shirts and jeans. You don't want anyone to see how ugly you are... inside and out.
You look at yourself in the mirror, only in your underwear. You analyze the cuts on your skin, everywhere you can reach, you made a lot of cuts, especially on your arms and thighs; some are older, most are recent, leaving blood stains on the clothes you wore.
Your reflection stares back at you, looking amused. You hug yourself, trying to hide from your own gaze, but to no avail. You feel dirty, your sagging skin falling apart in tour hands.
In a world where there are Avengers, supreme wizards, witches, heroes and villains, you feel like nothing. You are nobody.
With no desire at all, you take a shower, using a sponge forcefully on your body, as if that would wash away all the extra pounds. Your hard movement causes the fresh cuts to reopen and you see blood going down the drain along with the soap and water. You are numb.
You remember the ways to calm down your therapist taught you, but they don't work. They never did.
When you see your sleeping pills, you decide that this suffering is no longer worth it. You are not worth it. This will be the first and last time you put yourself first.
You won't leave any letters or explanations, it's not necessary. No one will miss you.
You gather all the medicines you can find and put them in the blender along with the alcohol, there's no going back. You know won't be, you don't want to go back.
No amount of stomach pumping will solve it, in case some gossipy neighbor decides to help you. You've made sure of that.
You need peace. If what's necessary for that is for you to face death, you'll do it with a smile on your face.
You put on the first pajamas you find and drink the entire contents of the glass, grimacing and choking as the liquid burns your throat.
Finally, you lie down on your bed one last time, ready for a dreamless sleep, and then, never to wake up again.
-----------
You opened your eyes, still groggy, and found a vision. A woman in a black robe stared at you. You just thought she was beautiful.
Y/N doesn't believe in God; But if there is an afterlife, you always thought you would be punished for killing yourself. At the very least, you are at the Valley of Suicides, and would suffer in mourning for ages. Either that, or you would go to hell.
However, looking at this woman in front of you, you thought you were in paradise.
The figure softened her expression, smiling a little bit, as if she had heard your thoughts, but soon closed herself off.
"Why did you do that?" she asked you, worried.
Y/N couldn't understand where she was or who that woman was... Maybe she was a neighbor? She thinks she's never seen you in her life, but her vision betrays you, completely blurred.
"I didn't mean to," you answered automatically, not used to someone talking to you for more than five minutes.
The woman didn't believe you. Rio saw your arms and the scarred cuts, but chose not to comment; she didn't want to scare you.
It wasn't the first time Rio had been called to a death by suicide and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but you were intriguing. Usually the others had someone by their side, but you were alone. She didn't want to leave you like this, not when you looked so fragile.
"Who are you?" Your conscience was leaving you, but you wanted to understand.
"I'm Lady Death , my dear." Rio approached you. "I'm here, because you called me."
Was that supposed to make sense? No coherent thought was going through your mind, the various medicines you had swallowed doing their job.
"Am I still alive?" You asked rhetorically, before your body shut down from the pressure.
Rio sighed, wondering where she had gotten herself into.
As the natural order of all things, she could simply heal you and leave, but that wouldn't solve anything. Death can't heal someone's psyche; and once your senses returned, you would try to kill yourself again. Rio couldn't let that happen. She would help you, even if it meant saving you from yourself.
---------------
For weeks, Rio healed your stomach and your injuries a little at a time, and you were getting better, with no more risk of complications because of it in the future.
She would make you food, wake you up and help you to eat, staying with you until you fell asleep again, your body still very weak.
She started to notice you more, how you slept peacefully, the dimples that formed on your face when you smiled, or how your eyes looked at her curiously, even though you couldn't hold a coherent conversation for long.
You don't remember any of this. Your consciousness came and gone the whole time.
-------------
Until one day, you woke up completely lucid. On autopilot, you went to get ready for work and saw yourself in the mirror. You were horrified when you remembered...
You...were alive? You're not even good enough to kill yourself, my God! How is that possible?
You wanted to scream, throw yourself off the building, hit your head hard against the wall until blood came out, anything. You were confused, your mind was all jumbled up. You had planned everything!! Did someone save you??? Why would someone do this?
You were going to puke. You ran to the bathroom, trying to hold on to the walls, shaking. You needed to calm down. You needed to understand what was happening.
The easiest thing to calm you down was your old friend; but when you made the first cut, you noticed that all the others were missing.
No. No. NO!
This can't be happening. It's a nightmare, right? A medication-induced nightmare. Soon it will all pass and you will be dead. Just as it should be.
Meanwhile, you made all the cuts you could, your hand shaking more and more. It didn't work, you hadn't calmed down.
You got up with unsteady steps and went to the kitchen, looking for a knife. You couldn't find one. You also didn't notice the presence behind you, until she spoke to you, her tone mild.
"You need to stop this, Y/N."
Rio was collecting some bodies from the other side of the world, when she felt a tug towards you. You needed her. She hoped it wasn't too late.
"Leave me alone," you shouted, feeling your eyes water. Rio tried to get closer to you, but you backed away. It took you a while to remember who she was, but the clothes she was wearing helped. Death... you almost didn't believe it. You felt betrayed. The only being you thought would truly welcome you with open arms took everything you had; including your reminders.
"You... You saved me," you accused her. Rio had the decency to look guilty. "You took away my free will, you healed me without my permission! You hurt me more than anyone else, you took everything I had." Y/N cried freely now. Tears blurred her vision.
Rio knew what you were talking about. It hurt her that you felt that way. She never wanted to hurt you, only to help you. Lady Death wished she had permission to kill everyone who hurt you throughout your life.
"You don't need them, Y/N." Rio still spoke softly, you could barely hear her.
"Why do you care?"
"I... I fell in love with you." Rio admitted what she had been thinking for days. At some point while taking care of you, she fell in love. Death had never loved anyone before.
Y/N stared at her, motionless. Then, she laughed.
"Is this some kind of joke?" she asked when she caught her breath. Rio shook her head. "Some kind of dirty game between the cosmic entities to attract the weak human's attention?" Rio shook her head once more.
"Seriously, look at me," you shouted, not understanding.
And Rio looked at you. Even with your face red from crying so much, even with the fresh cuts and so much self-loathing, Death found you beautiful.
"I'm looking at," Rio whispered. His heart heavy with your suffering.
"No!" Y/N thought Rio didn't understand. "Look at me!," you shouted with contempt this time. "How can someone like you fall for something like this?" you pointed to yourself.
Rio saw you, she understood you more than you remember. You talked a few times, even with the loose and incoherent words, Death heard you. And she was saddened by every word you said. With the self-loathing that society forced upon you at every step of your life.
Vidal didn't know how to calm you down, so she did the only thing that came to her mind at the moment. She ran to you, grabbed your face and kissed you on the mouth.
It was just a light brush of lips. Rio wanted to show you that she liked you, but you hadn't stopped talking. She wanted you to listen now.
"I see you, S/N" the woman in front of you tried to wipe away your tears, in vain. They kept coming freely. "I see you and I understand you" you found yourself relaxing your face towards the hand that caressed you. "I want to kill all those idiots who once hurt you, because you, Y/N Y/S, are an incredible woman. And not a "it thing", I am sure".
You wanted to complain, but Rio didn't let you. She wasn't finished.
"S/N, you're so sweet, so selfless, you have such a good heart" Rio continued. "Never believe anyone who tells you otherwise, because you are beautiful. Beautiful inside and out. Your life is worth living" by the look she gave you, you saw the truth in her eyes. She truly believed the words she said, even if you didn't. "I think you are the prettiest girl in the world, and The Death doesn't lies, sweetie".
Y/N couldn't answer, your body gave out and you passed out. Rio caught you before you fell and carried you to your bed.
"It's okay, my love" Rio whispered, kissing you on the forehead "I can be strong for both of us, until you make it"
-------
You woke up completely healed. Rio would leave you alone now, if you wish. It would break her heart, but she wanted you happy.
You didn't need to look around to know she was still there.
"Are you ever going to leave?" You stood up, sitting up.
"Only if you want to" Rio approached you, this time you didn't back away, but you didn't answer her.
With the physical healing, you began to remember the previous weeks and found yourself enjoying her presence; the moments you spent together. A smile escaped your lips and it did not go unnoticed by Rio.
"May I?" Vidal pointed to the space next to you and you nodded. You felt the bed sink with the new weight, and you looked down at your hands; you were suddenly embarrassed, very aware of yesterday's closeness.
"Thank you," you thanked, realizing that the cuts from yesterday were still present on your skin.
Rio nodded. "I apologize for before, I shouldn't have done that without your permission, if they were important to you."
Rio didn't apologize for saving your life. That, she didn't regret it for a second. She would do it again if she had to, but Rio really hoped it was the first and last time.
Y/N didn't answer, instead asking another question.
"Do you really like me?" You were afraid of the answer, both the "yes" and the "no."
"Yes, I do." That simple sentence made Y/N look into Vidal's soft eyes. You saw the same thing as yesterday: Unconditional love. You still.don't know how it's possible for Death to fall in love with someone like you, "And I want to be with you."
You opened your mouth, but quickly closed it. Everything that had happened to you flashed through your mind.
"The heart doesn't choose who it falls in love with, Y/N." Rio realized that you were afraid of getting hurt again, maybe it would be better to leave you alone.
"You don't have to answer, dear. I won't take up any more of your time." Death stood up, ready to leave and never see you again, if that was what you wanted.
"Wait..." you asked, your voice barely louder than a whisper, "stay." You grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly.
Rio turned around and listened carefully.
"I... I like your company." you continued.
The "I like you too" was still stuck in your throat. You couldn't say it yet, it was too early. Fortunately, Death is a patient being.
"And from what I remember these past few weeks, I had a lot of fun with you," you sighed. "But I can't return your love." You looked at the floor, embarrassed. "I don't know how to love someone or be loved, I don't even know how to love myself."
Rio was silent for a few minutes. Y/N was sure she had lost her chance at happiness.
"Oh, darling," Rio knelt in front of you and caressed your face, softly. You could get used to this every day. "I can teach you to love yourself, like I love you...if you let me. I want to spend my eternity by your side."
Her eyes were so beautiful and bright, you could get lost in their immensity. You could love her over time, you know that. You just have to let yourself.
You nodded slightly and Rio smiled, moving closer.
"May I?" She asked for the second time that day, but this time it was to kiss you. You smiled, taking the initiative now.
It would be a long journey for the two of you, with some ups and downs, but Y/N would never feel hated again. Rio Vidal would kill everyone before they had the chance to hurt you.
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Text
I'm experimenting with different needles for embroidery recently and decided to make it everyone's problem, so here is:
Opinions on sewing needles nobody asked for by Occamy.
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From left to right:
Typical nickel-plated sewing needle.
PONY black chenille needle without nickel, size 22
PONY gold plated chenille needle, size 24
DMC gold plated embroidery needle with round tip, size 22
No 1:
I probably inherited that one from my grandma's sewing kits or something. It's one of those needles you can get in any store, good for sewing absolutely anything. It's biggest issue is... I destroyed it with my fingers. It's probably something about the sweat or such, but you can probably see how satine and dark it is in the middle where it has contact with the skin. This causes the needle to go through fabric with more traction and is frankly just irritating. And it's the only reason why I started looking for an alternative, because - and it is true - I went through three needles just embroidering the wizard's tower. If it wasn't for my toxic skin I wouldn't even think of looking for a new needle 🫣
No.2
I got excited both by "no nickel" and how smexy goth it looks like. Unfortunately, it's satine and plainly uncomfortable to hold from the very start, so it was a big NO immediately. Pity, I really like how it looks.
No.3
Used it for about three days and I think it actually gives me some sort of allergies. That or it's a huge coincidence that my fingertips on my dominant right hand got suddenly very dry and scratchy. Other than that, the very top of the needle (above the eye) is surprisingly sharp and uncomfortable to push through the fabric in the long run. So, again, a no from me.
No.4
So far the best of them. It's pleasantly smooth and the top is a bit more rounded than no.3, so it's easier on the fingers. The only downside is the round tip - it is possible to embroider through jeans and canvas (as I do right now), but it's not comfortable. I'm already waiting for next delivery with a few more DMC variants to check on, so expect an update in a couple days.
It's worth noting that bigger eyes of 2, 3 and 4 make it much easier to thread them, but I personally don't bother much with that - I'm actually enjoying the challenge of threading needles xD
That's it, that's me rambling about needles. Nobody asked for this, but, you know.
I hope you relate 🫣
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zombii-writess · 3 days ago
Text
𝙾𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎
| M! Best Friend x Fem! Chubby! Reader |
here it is y'all, PROM NIGHT WOOOO. also, apologies for posting once or twice then disappearing for weeks/months, i've been desperately looking for a job and it seems like nobody is hiring and im close to tearing my hair out AND ANOTHER THING, i've made a ko-fi account in case you guys want to tip or anything, im not 100% sure on how to use it but i've seen other people take commissions there so i might do the same thing once i am more familiar. thoughts?? anyways enough rambling tags: cute, fluff, confession unedited
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ᴍᴏɴᴅᴀʏ
Finn is nervous. He's sweating up a storm as he watches you from his desk across the classroom. I bet you're wondering: What the FUCK is wrong this time? Currently he's a senior and prom is right around the corner, and he has yet to ask you if you wanted to be his date. and also confess to you
He has until Friday to ask; he knows that you don't have a date considering you've been whining about having nobody to go with. Just wait a little longer pumpkin.
Currently, it was lunch and you both decided to eat inside of a classroom, thanks to your teacher. Finn stands from his chair and reaches inside his large bag he managed to bring without you questioning it. Inside held a box filled with your favorite treats and next to it was a large, decorated poster that held the question; Will you go to prom with me?
But... seeing you laughing with your friends, the eye contact with him that follows soon after makes him freeze, cheeks heating up. He blindly shoves the poster back into his bag before you notice. He'll try again tomorrow.
And so, the struggle begins.
ᴛᴜᴇꜱᴅᴀʏ
Biting his lip, Finn taps his foot anxiously as he waits for you at your usual spot; the large oak tree that sat comfortably in front of the school. 'This kind of reminds me of those shoujo animes that [Name] makes me watch,' He thought, watching couples walk by him blushing and cuddling each other. Finn flushes at the sight before shaking his head roughly.
'Don't be ridiculous, Finn, this is real life and I'm pretty sure the rumor of confessing your love for your crush guarantees a long life together underneath this tree will NOT come true because it's a rumor, a silly, little rumor losers made up to cover the fact that their crushes will never love them back-'
"Hey Finn!"
Finn lets out a small scream as he was ripped out of his thoughts. You both stared at each other, Finn's face red from the scream and you will a large smile growing on your face. Snorting, you double over in laughter, setting a hand on Finn's shoulder, the warmth practically burning into his shirt, to steady yourself.
Finn watches as you try and contain yourself, only to break into laughter once more at his unamused expression.
Staring at you, Finn takes a breath, removing his bag from his shoulders to retrieve the poster and sweets to give to you. His hand continues to grope around which gave you the chance to calm down and watch him with a curious expression.
He hand remained empty, no hard smooth surface of the box of your sweets nor the poster. Confused, and a little bit embarrassed, Finn nervously giggles when he peaks his head into the bag only to discover... nothing. He had forgotten that he had taken everything out back home in order to not ruin them from his big ass textbooks and left in a hurry. His dumbass left them in his room!
"Finn?" You poked him arm, curious to why he was so silent. "Is something wrong?"
Finn lets out a groan, pouting at his forgetfulness. "No, nothing's wrong, just... I left something important back home."
ᴡᴇᴅɴᴇꜱᴅᴀʏ
So, yesterday was a total failure. That's fine, he still has time. Clutching the box of sweets, he hid behind his back from you, he stops in front of you and makes his move.
"[Name], I want to ask-" "Hey [Name]! Can I have the notes from Mr. Smith's class?" A voice interrupts.
Turning to the other student, you point at your bag. "Yeah, it's in my binder!" Refocusing your attention on Finn, you smiled. "You were saying?"
Finn clears his throat. "I just wanted to ask-" "[Name]! [Name]! It's not here! Are you sure it's in the binder?" The students voice whines, frantically digging through your bag. "I really need this!"
"Uhm-" Finn anxiously watches as his grip on the box gets tighter and tighter. He's running out of time; he's going to lose his nerve and back out last minute.
"Then check my folders, it should be there." You hummed in confusion. "I haven't moved it since class ended."
"Still not here, [Name]!" They groaned before opening another folder and pulled out a small stack of paper. "Oh, found it!" They laughed, thanking you before walking off.
Sighing at their behavior, you AGAIN brought your attention towards Finn. "Sorry, you wanted to ask me something?"
Finn nervously swallows, going through the whole speech in his head in the span of .3 seconds and opens his mouth. "Will you go-" "Yo, [Name]! Let's get off campus and get lunch at that new place that opened up."
Deflating, Finn watches you interact with your friend who had their arm around your shoulders, his nerves getting the best of him. Slowly, he backs away from the pair, embarrassment swallowing him whole as his pathetic attempts of trying to ask you to prom consumed his thoughts.
Waving your friend off, you tirelessly rubbed your eyes, "I am so sorry for the interruptions, Finn, what were you-" You apologized, turning to him only to find him gone.
"Finn?"
ᴛʜᴜʀꜱᴅᴀʏ
Finn sat on the floor of his room, head in hands in distress of yesterday's event. He was so embarrassed he didn't even bother asking you to prom the next day and now that the embarrassment has passed, it was already 10 pm. He would go next door and ask you in your room, but Finn thought you deserved something romantic and memorable.
You've put up with him for years, everyone didn't give him the time of day to even ask what his favorite color was. But that summer when you arrived next door, made him see that there was more to life than games and darkness. It had you.
Picking up a piece of paper and a pencil, Finn begins to write down ideas on how to ask you to prom. Maybe he could ask his friends from band to play your favorite song, and people will watch and get jealous for putting on a big show for you. Yeah, that sounds good! Dropping the pencil, he reaches for his phone and spends the next few hours planning with his friends. Finns ends of staying awake the entire night.
ꜰʀɪᴅᴀʏ
Today's the day. The day to ask you to prom once and for all. He's hiding behind the bleachers that was located in the football field, it was after school hours and he's certain that there were no practices. His friends were standing in the field waiting for you and once they begin playing their instruments, that'll be Finn's cue to come out with his poster and ask his most desired question.
Soon he hears the first few notes of your favorite song. That's his cue! Taking a deep breath and exhaling to ease his nerves, he fiddles with the corner of the poster before revealing himself, eyes filled with love and hope. Coming from behind the bleachers with a big smile he approaches only for the smile to be wiped from his face once he sees chaos.
One of his friends was arguing with the football coach, apparently the football team decided to have practice last minute, you were standing between the two of them, trying your best to resolve the issue. And you want to know how this day can't get any worse?
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Though Finn made the preparations to make this promposol as smooth as it can, he didn't bother to check the weather. Everything had gone to shit. His friends, who wasn't arguing with the football coach, looked at Finn for help on what to do, his poster ripped from the rain soaking it, his nicely done hair that took him almost all morning was soaked, and everybody was pissed on what to do.
Pissed, everyone walked away, the ones who weren't even involved in the shouting match, awkwardly walked away. Only one stayed.
You.
Finn choked on his breath and reframed from bursting out in frustrated tears. His eyes burned, but alas, tears slipped by and down his cheeks, mixing in with the drops of rain. Clenching his fist, Finn harshly rubs his eyes. Worried, you took placed a hand on his back, rubbing it in small circles.
"Hey, it's going to be okay, Finn." You comforted.
Finn shakes his head, sniffling. "No, it's not. I-I wanted this to be perfect, but it seems like luck is not on my side."
"What was it you wanted to do?" You asked gently.
"I..." Finn bites his lip. "I wanted to ask you to be...m-my date for prom."
The air leaves your lungs, heart beating in your ears at the information. Opening your mouth to speak, Finn beats you to it.
"You've done so, so much for me, tha-that I wanted to make this memorable for you." Finn stutters, tears now freely streaming down his face. "You deserve so much more an-and everything has gone to shit!"
He takes a couple of breathes before continuing. "It's so hard to ask you upfront because you make me freeze, and then I get nervous and back out then kick myself for being so entranced by you!"
"Finn,"
"Every time you say my name, it takes all my will power to not kiss you, whenever you talk about your friends, I get jealous because I want you to talk about me like that - to LOOK at me like that."
"Finn!"
"God, I love you so much, i-it hurts, I'm sorry for saying this so suddenly, but I-"
"FINN!" He shuts up, eyes puffy as he stares at your trembling form. Reaching a hand to cup his cheek, you wipe his tears with a soft smile.
"I like you too, you silly goose, and I would love to be your date for prom."
Letting out a small whimper, Finn scoops you into a warm hug, face buried between the junction of your shoulder and neck, a weak attempt to stifle any sobs of happiness. The weight of asking you to prom and confessing had been lifted from his shoulders and Finn could finally relax.
"Thank you... [Name]." Finn sniffles.
Like my work? Buy me a ko-fi! (´・ω・`)
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joshscorcher · 2 days ago
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What to you think of the new teaser trailer of the new How to Train Your Dragon? Cause if you still think like "nobody asked for this and nobody wanted this" then with all due respect but you're sick, you're crazy, you have problems, there's no way around it, don't be the annoying one. Seriously, this thought that "no one asked for it or that it's unnecessary" is ridiculous, unfair, saturated, and it's just a complete nuisance, complain just for the sake of it. The world liked and want it. Facts
Well, what is it going to offer me that I can't get from the original?
Is it going to improve on the original? If not, then why should I give them my money?
From the pattern of these live-action remakes, they tend to be vastly inferior to the original, and in some cases outright show contempt for the original, and I have better things to do than waste my time on something I know I won't enjoy. I don't like this attitude that many seem to have that a film becoming live action somehow inherently improves it. I also don't like this insinuation that I'm obligated to enjoy the live action remake.
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clarkes-and-god · 2 days ago
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"Happy birthday, Joy! Are you having a good day, sweetie?"
"I am, Miss Beth! Mama made me a new doll for my birthday, and Will got blocks that Daddy made 'cause it was his birthday this week too. And now I'm six, I can help Mama make supper, and that's good because she's got a baby in her belly."
"Oh, that's such a blessing! You'll be such a good mommy when you're older, Joy. I bet your mommy and daddy are so grateful for all your help."
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"Fabian, let me ask you this -- what's your plan if the stores shut down? No notice, so you can't run and get supplies or nothin'."
"I haven't really thought about it, I guess. We've got some canned stuff in the pantry, and Beth's good at meal prepping. I started growing some tomatoes and stuff too, last summer.
"That's how most folks are. But we're living on borrowed time and nobody's gonna see it coming 'till it's too late. Everything in the towns and cities runs off oil, or the electrical grid, and if they stop working, then everything is gonna collapse. And we all know it ain't good people who are in charge of those. All that talk about smart grids for power? Just a fancy way of sayin' they can turn off the electricity anytime they want. It's closer than you think, man."
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"Oh, that sounds serious. What should we do?"
"Well, we've been preparing for quite some time now, so we've got an good amount of stuff ready. Enough to last us at least 3 years, even with the new baby. And with the talk about those smart grids, I'm taking us off the grid. I'm settin' up a wind turbine, and we've got a backup generator and gas, just in case. But if you're just starting, you need to focus on food that lasts. Get yourself some rice, beans, maybe some canned stuff if you've not got a decent garden going. Zizi cans a bunch of stuff we grow in the garden, and some of the meat from the chickens and sheep we have, I'll get her to teach Beth about it. You ever heard of Mylar bags and oxygen absorbers?"
"No, I don't think I have."
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"You seal your food in Mylar bags with oxygen absorbers and it'll keep for decades, it's good stuff. Remind me, did I ever tell you about the websites I use?"
"I remember something you said about SimChan."
"Oh, right. That's alright but you've gotta be careful with it. Lot of people there just post the work of the devil, and don't do anything to prepare themselves for the end of times. Not that everyone's like that on there, but I think you ought to search up The Watchmen Of Zion. That's where I get my news from, the stuff the media ain't covering. The Off-Grid Ark and Prepper's Haven are good for advice on how to prepare your family for what's coming. You've got plenty of land too, so it should be easy enough to get yourselves ready."
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"Thanks. You don't think this is all gonna happen too soon, do you? I mean, what if it happens tomorrow and I haven't prepared? I'd hate for anything to happen to Beth and our girls."
"I'm gonna be honest with you, Fabian. No one can say when it'll start, but I reckon it'll be soon, looking at the state of the world today. If I was in your shoes, I'd be acting like it'll be sooner rather than later, you hear me?"
"Alright. I'll look those websites up tonight."
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"That's good to hear. I know you and Beth are good people who want as many kids as the Lord sees fit to bless you with, but there's no point in it if they'll starve to death the minute stores close. it's all part of being a provider, you know?"
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aita-blorbos · 17 hours ago
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AITA for getting revenge on my abusers?
For context, me and my sister are conjoined twins. (I'd be medically classified as a parasitic twin, to be specific. We share a brain and I'm just a face on the back of her head) Our mother didn't want us, and instead of giving us to an orphanage, she donated us to science. We spent our first several years in a lab, enduring intense experimentation. During this time, the way we were treated was vastly different. She was just a poor kid cursed with an affliction, while I was a monster. A mistake, a cancer. They poked and prodded at us, treated us like guinea pigs, put us through all sorts of tests, to figure out what was "wrong" with me and how to control me. They never ONCE asked me how I felt or what I wanted. I fought back of course, because the shit they were doing HURT and I was SCARED. I'll admit that I caused a lot of damage, people got hurt, but they had it coming. Who does that to a kid? Eventually they decided that trying to control me was too much work, and it was time to get rid of me. They couldn't fully remove me, since me and my sis are attached at the brain and all, but they removed as much as they safely could and pushed the rest into her skull & sealed it up. Soon after that the problem was deemed as fixed, and she was adopted out into a new family. I was mostly dormant, only able to talk to her in her head but unable to act. Years passed and eventually she forgot about me, fully integrating into her new, happy family I was inactive until our adulthood, early 20s. I was awoken when she took a blow to the head, and immediately I decided to get to work. When she slept, I would track down the doctors and scientists from our childhood and kill them one by one. Was it brutal? Yes. Gruesome? Of course. I don't regret a thing, though, they got what they fucking deserved Though, because nobody knows about me and we share a body, now the police are trying to blame my sister for the murders. (And because of the shared brain, she has a few memories of the murders and might be a little traumatized, or something) That was never my intention. I was doing this for her as much as it was for me, those people hurt her back then too. But she's super upset and freaked out, so idk. Did I maybe go too far? Was there some other way?
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daytaker · 11 months ago
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Lucifer:
Ah, yes. Family is the most important thing, isn't it? I value my brothers above everything else. Unfortunately, my brothers don't value themselves nearly as highly, so I'm forced to resort to extreme methods to protect them from the consequences of their actions. Like tying them to the ceiling, for example.
It's unfortunate that they aren't mature enough to recognize when I'm doing something for their benefit and complain simply because it restricts their freedom or itches or "hurts".
Mammon:
Oh, you mean the five little brothers who disrespect me at every turn and the older brother that likes usin' me as a punching bag? Those guys? Don't I spend enough of my time thinkin' about them already? Sheesh.
Asmo's fun to hang with, though.
Levi:
My family...? If you're talking about my brothers... Ugh. I'd rather not think about them. Lucifer's a tyrant, Mammon's constantly stealing my stuff, Satan's always petting a cat, reading a book, or destroying something, Asmo's always out being loud in loud places around other loud people, and the twins...
The twins are alright, actually. Heheh.
But my real family is Henry 2.0. Henry is always there for me when I need him. He never laughs at me. Never calls me a crusty otaku. Never tells me to wash my dakimura because "who knows what shit that's seen" or says I should give that cosplay outfit to Asmo since it'd look better on him or insults my intelligence by calling her Ruby Hana and expecting me to believe he made an honest mistake...!!
Satan:
Are you intentionally antagonizing me? I don't mind Belphie, since we have..."mutual interests", but the rest of them annoy me.
I'm not going to talk about Lucifer right now.
Asmo:
My brothers are super annoying, but they're also really cute! I like that they all let me do their nails. It makes me feel closer to them!
I admire Lucifer, and I think Satan's pretty reliable when he isn't angry. Belphie's also alright. He's super cute when he's asleep! But Mammon's a scumbag, Beel only ever thinks about food, and Levi... Oh, Levi. I don't know what to think about Levi. Is he okay?
Beel:
Belphie's my closest sibling. I'll always look out for him.
But when I think about family, I can't help but think about Lilith too... I get that awful sinking feeling in my gut, and I can't stop thinking about how I let her down...
Belphie:
Beel is my favorite brother, of course. I never really get annoyed with him the way I do with Lucifer and Mammon. He doesn't bother me when I sleep, either.
I've been spending more time with Satan lately since we formed our Anti-Lucifer League. I've learned that he's actually pretty funny and creative. He's a whiz at curses. But I've also learned that I never, ever want to be on his bad side.
Ask my character about their family!
Originaly by promptnebula
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claraoswalds · 5 months ago
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#mrs flood who are you: time lord edition
#dwedit#doctor who#mrs flood#fifteenth doctor#the master#jacobi!master#tenth doctor#jack harkness#martha jones#twelfth doctor#ninth doctor#*#okay here is my argument: mrs flood IS a time lord but her presence here has nothing to do with the doctor#instead she's here because of ruby. she's seemingly part of/related to the pantheon of discord & we know that ruby is connected to them too#so i think that she was deliberately placed as ruby's neighbor by the pantheon/oldest one/ruby's mom/? in order to watch over her#it also explains why she was there to check on ruby in 1.04. once she realizes she's on the phone w carla she says 'nothing to do with me'#and she leaves. which implies that it COULD have had something to do with her. if it had been something else going on#ANYWAY. to get to the time lordness of it all. rn i personally believe that she's a time lord that's been hiding on earth for 50+ years#bc i don't think she recognized the police box as a tardis initially. that first quote should be taken at face value.#instead picture this: she's watching over ruby as per usual. a police box is there - weird but nbd. then it dematerializes in front of her.#she drops her groceries. she's shocked. she kinda looks scared. if she already knew it was a tardis why would she react like that?#so imo she knows OF tardises. she DIDN'T know the police box was one. and she's worried the time lords have found her hence the fear.#but when nothing happens and nobody comes at her she realizes she's still safe#later when she sees the doctor she realizes the tardis is his/he must be a time lord. he doesn't identify her but that's happened before#so then when she asks him who he is i think what she's actually asking for is his title. WHICH time lord are you.#bc lbr if she knows abt tardises then she knows about time lords and if she knows abt time lords she knows what it means for ruby#to be joining him - and that's why she wishes ruby good luck. meanwhile this is clearly the outcome she WANTS (them to be together)#bc she gets visibly upset when the doctor seems to decide to leave without ruby.#and for once i'm not master clowning bc the list of names the doctor gives out is VERY interesting. some of them we've never heard before:#the bishop; the conquistador; later he adds the pedant and sagi-shi and reiterates the bishop AGAIN. so i wonder if she's the bishop.....
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folklorespring · 2 months ago
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Do you guys ever feel that you have no idea how the world works in reality? Like there're rules and logically I'm using them to do stuff, but then people appear with their "You fool, you thought that rule was actually a rule? You should do the opposite of what the rule says and you should have figure it out yourself". How am I supposed to know when rules aren't even rules 😭
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haarute · 2 months ago
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the other day i played a game where a girl spent a week drawing a cool detailed comic book page for the mc and i thought to myself "if someone did that for me irl i would marry her on the spot" but i'm now realizing that i myself have in fact done exactly that a couple of times for a couple of people throughout my life and they've never responded well and mostly just dismissed it completely and i think that this dissonance between parties is a great illustration of why my relationships are historically speaking absolute disasters
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nostalgia-tblr · 12 days ago
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loki/william rufus fic, where bill explains that as the second son he has inherited england while big brother bob only got the duchy of normandy, ha ha ha.
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#no offence to normandy of course i'm sure it's a fine duchy with many things to recommend it.#oh but wait! England Son then dies in a “Hunting Accident” and the next brother heads for the capital ASAP!#where is Bob? idk i think he was on crusade or something. BUT! he'll get to stay in england when henry keeps him captive for life <3#apparently robert got very into welsh poetry while imprisoned for being the older brother so maybe that made up for it all?#PLOT TWIST: henry the first of england leaves no legitimate sons and england ends up having a civil war when he dies.#btw it still throws me a bit that post-conquest kings have names like william and robert while the pre-1066 dudes are all named Aethelthing#*whispers* i kind of feel like asgard should be on a atheling system like pre-conquest england but i don't want to complicate things.#though this would explain why Thor 1 treats a Loki succession as a real possibility and thinks aptitude for kingship in any way matters.#whereas the later movies all assume it works on primogeniture (and none of us in fandom really absorbed the fact that when hela shows up#thor instantly accepts that she's ahead of him in the line of succession and objects to her evilness rather than her sex/gender.#so clearly if thor and loki have an older sister the OLDER matters more than the SISTER. right? yet sif is the only female warrior.#and while i think the 'kings NEED to go into battle!' thing was overstated by the past and by modern observers we do all go along with that#in the context of these films don't we? loki is unsuitable due to his *checks notes* weak fragile feminine form.#*looks at him and experiences a brief moment of cognitive dissonance before moving on*#and that's a story more of us want to tell (or i assume that's what's up) so we all just ignore The Hela Evidence don't we?)#(i can explain my own reasons if anyone asks but nobody will so i won't bother doing it in these tags.)#btw a friend once made a william the conqueror joke about passing the duchy on the left hand side which was FANSTASTIC#but explaining it would take far too long so i won't do that either. BUT IT WAS RLY FUNNY U GUYS (gender-neutral)!#history shitposting#plus the mcu because of course
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queer-reader-07 · 11 months ago
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me: DAD!!!
dad: what?
me: NEW PERCY JACKSON SHOW IN LESS THAN A WEEK
dad: uh huh
me: you don't seem excited try again
dad: i'm excited FOR you
me: will you watch it with me when it comes out?
dad: i thought i didn't have a choice
me: well you don't but i'm trying to give you the illusion of choice
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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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apocalypticdemon · 4 months ago
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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