#i want/need a friend group but it ALWAYS GOES BAD!!!!!!!! AND ITS SOMEHOW ALWAYS MY FAULT?! idk what im doing wrong. people suck.

[autisticlee]

is it an autistic experience to ALWAYS be the one in a friend group who gets left out, alienated, secretly disliked, then kicked out of the group?

[zhvakinnn]

HIIII how are you?? I hope you are doing well and getting enough sleep and food to eat!!

I was wondering if you can do a Logan x black fem! reader? I just love my blonde nerdy boy, he needs some lovin' frfr

You could do anything you want with it, I don't personally mind at all, yk cuz ue the writer and all lmao, plus I don't like pressuring ppl either.

THANKKKK YOU AND HAVE A BLESSED DAY 🫶🤍

Yess logan needs more attention!

Warning's: racist (yuck)

✨as always i don't know much English so if something is wrong correct me✨

You were alone because your getting teased about being black

His alone because his getting teased about being nerdy

So when you two were group its kind of awkward you were both scared to talk to each other but then he find out your in the astrology club too you two suddenly became close

Just two outcast being together, when you visited his house you met his grandparents and thought they hate you but they were kind and caring

While walking with him after school Barron always pick up on you and logan yet he was the one who always gets hurt in the end

You want to confront them but Logan just shrugged it off and told you that there's nothing to worry about

Everytime you drop him in his house his grandparents always ask you why did he have a bruise again and you always find a way to lie about it and they somehow believe you?

But even all this things you two were never not attached to the hip even the teachers wants you two to be grouped because no one ever dared to talk to you or him so you were always a pair

Then all the sudden poof you both have now a new five friends

---------------------------------------------------

After everything that happened logan starting to change a bit you was a bit more serious he doesn't talk to much like before

"hey (name) fun fact if you sneez so hard you might break a rib cage?"

*new trauma unlock*

On more and more blah blah stuff that you like about him starting to fade away

You miss everything about him even though you dont though you don't understand most of them you still love him blabbering every small detail about those things

That's where you feel those feelings like you swallowed a whole pack of butterflys in you're stomach yet you kept overthinking what if this was all a bet and he didn't like talking to you

What if he won't like you back because you're black (I'm no racist don't attack me)

This things keep swerling in your mind

You also noticed in the realm his more tired i mean we're all tired but his different he was starting to avoid you like if you said hi he will smile at you then walk away

Even in the real world you wanted to walk with him but he denied you're offer and said he can walk himself

You wanted to confront him but you don't wanna sound clingy so you just let it go

But he really wasn't ignoring you he was only embarrassed of his feelings too but doesn't know how to say it

It was so awkward between you two that made your friends question what happened to the both of you

You two were attached to the hip then suddenly you and him suddenly became distance

They wanna fix what has been done because you two are cute together they even think that you and logan are a better couple but doesn't say it because you said so

But whenever they let you two sit in a room its getting more awkward and awkward causing it to just let you two out

Then they tie you up together causing you having tantrum because of how tight the rope is

They tried everything they can but ben said or wrote "its better if the two of them fix this than us fixing it" Ashlyn nodded

---------------------------------------------------

"aw where's you're little boyfriend now"

The woman speak she was one of those bastard that goes with Barron now what do they want..

"he's not my boyfriend you asshole"

You wanna punch her so bad but couldn't escape one slice of your throat and your dead

"what did you say to me?"

Then the door open revealing Barron and his minions, ngl they do look like a minion

"what do you want now" you frown at him and glaring

"remember that one time you literally beat the shit out of me in the arcade huh?!" The woman let go of you, and you stumbled to barron

"listen here N(word, I will not say it) my friend left me because of that boyfriend of yours"

"okay one since when did a friend do and follow you're orders because friend always helps each other not follow one because this world doesn't need a follow the leader for you and second i just told her Logan isn't mine" whenever you denied he's not your boyfriend you feel a heavy chest you wanna take back what you said

"you stupid bitch, you're gonna regret this" he smirked at you

You tried to fight but you were outnumbered you took down most of them but still couldn't

Now you were laying down near the dumpster crying that Logan was there to hug you but you just curled up taking the pain where they beat you up you cried silently

Then a hand touches you

"w..what the hell do you want now-" your words cut when you met a worried teary eyes there is the one you're looking for that face that you love, that you wouldn't get bored to stare at it

"who- what? Uh why are you just sitting here..and you're hair..." Yes you're hair was cut after you smack that womans face atleast she was a broken nose now

You stayed silent then cried Logan tried to calm you down by hugging to and you're head at his shoulder this is what you wanted. Even at this serious situation Logan couldn't help it his chest was beating so fast

"did you find?!...her" Taylor screamed then stop when thay saw you and logan

" i know you two need a moment but can i ask what happened to (name) hair?" Aiden said not breaking a smile

You still stayed silent "are you okay? Do you wanna tell us or maybe later or not" he cupped your cheeks making you dizzy you were so inlove with this nerd

"Barron.." once they heard his name they changed reaction mostly Logan "what did he do?" You can see aiden trying to calm down and angry bird i mean an angry Ben

You shake your head not wanting to say nothing more

Then logan came looking for him you tried to stop him but he got out of your grip you told your friends to stop him but they just stayed silent and took you to you're house. Tyler was piggy backing you because you felt numb and weak at the moment once you got there you asked them if Logan texted them

They shook their heads and waited Ashlyn texted Logan that you are in you're house

Not a minute later the door came busting open he was dirty but not that dirty

He looked angry and kind scary aura around him

When you walk up to Logan everybody knew it was time to leave you two alone

"don't worry that woman regret cutting your hair" he said while he hugged you and you can't help but smile even that little things he did can make your heart beat

Then now you were the one who was cupping his cheeks " thank you Logan" your face was so close to him causing you two to back away Logan scratch his nape and your scratching your arm

"hey.."

"um.."

You two said it at the same time

"you go first" you told him

"look i know we've been friends for not that long but long enough so I'm okay if you leave this friendship once i told you this"

You're eyes were widen your feelings starting to sink you don't wanna end this friendship nor do not wanna lose this feelings for him

You were caught when your lips and him were connected suddenly then pulled away only you taking the collar of his shirt kissing him again you pulled away when the door was open" hey you two okay there?... Sorry" aidne peek then close the door you look at logan and you both giggle

"are you sure you want me? I mean I'm not that you know those skin-"

"I don't care about your skin or anything else I just know that i love you and that won't change anything" you started to tear up again and hugged him

"Once the sun asked moon for a hug they call it an eclipse "

You giggled at Logan poetry again and told him it was cheezy

"it was not?! Here is one i remember and i promise it's not cheezy"

You giggled and told him to go one he cleared his throat

"so, i love you because the entire galaxy conspired to help me find you" -paulo coelho

"alright alright that's enough" you two were giggling little do you know they were listening to the both of you smiling

"told you, you can't fix between a two bird if you invade them" ben wrote

Okay maybe he is a good at poetry too

I LOVE LOGAN SO MUCHHH

Masterlist | about me | rules

[celestial-sapphicss]

nobody asked but I'm finally watching the gmmtv 2024 part 2 trailers and hence some incoherent thoughts

ossan's love thailand: KAPOOK 😍. I haven't seen the original ossan's love but this seems like an HR Violation. how come two people like this lousy person???????? what is this show LMAO it seems so unhinged (not in a good way yet?) but i have my trust in Au!!!!!!!

leap day: WHAT THE FUCK OMG. GUN HELLO

the heart killers: joong khao brothers HM. now this show is hidden agenda pls. there is going to be so much angst here im still so hurt from only friends but another jojo project, interesting 👀

friendshit forever: someone needs to be fired for these names. MOOK LOOKS SO PRETTY. ngl i thought this was a GL until new showed up but boy did the trailer take a dark turn. listen im all for this betrayal angst but isn't it a little cliche to have girls fight/backstab because they're jealous of each other? maybe i misunderstood the trailer hm.

perfect 10liners: how are forcebook back in uni again???? but enemies(?) to lovers???? perthchimon roommates HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH. oh i loved MarkJunior in cherry magic!!!? how much is jittirain making i just want to know. seems very cliche but i eat it up every time. also new siwaj!!!!!!!

us: GL GL GL GL BRAIN GOES BRRRRRRR. pining delicious 🤌 angst delicious 🤌 cinematography reminds me of an indie production somehow. 2 FON KANITTHA GLs YEAH GIVE THIS SHOW TO ME RIGHT NOW!

hide & sis: PIPLOY & JAN & GAWIN. FUCK YES. this is giving the player vibes and i dig that. gotta love fucked up rich people. who is directing this though?

thame - po: is this the lykn dance group? PLEASE NOT THE Y/N FANFIC. cute

breakup service: GODJIIIIIIIIIII. it's giving midnight motel vibes. but hmmmmmmmmm

revamp: im not really a wabi-sabi or vampire girly but im always here of villian kay!!!!! & santa my beloved 🫶 the vibes are immaculate.

sweet tooth, good dentist: who is deciding these names????? but also MARK & OHM YAY. the fanfiction of it all smh. jittirain strikes again. not mark singing the last twilight ost pls. this doc is So invested in this patient im sure he follows his lives. FLIRTY MARK MY BELOVED!! ALSO VIEW & JIMMY HELP. if this isn't sappy as fuck what's the point. also the Pepzi, the AD for bad buddy is directing this, nice 👀

the dark dice: love the annual supernatural weird-high school gmmtv shenanigans. 'loser like me' and its Gemini, be for real pls. PRIMMMMMMMMM. I don't really understand what's happening with the plot smh but it's a LOT

the ex-morning: exs to lovers and a hell lot of pining and angst? yes. i didn't get firstmix but I'm happy with this. also the meta commentary also GODJIIIIIIIIIII.

scarlet heart: THE CAST ?????? TU, TAY, NANON, PERTH, FOURTH???????? I'm here for it. i haven't seen the Chinese or the Korean version but the teaser sure is interesting AND FON KANITTHA

14 shows DAMN GMMTV

[cocobittiebites]

Headcanons about the Main Four + Y/N (afab)

I just wanted to preface that this is just my Headcanons and all of this is for fun! If the characters seem ooc mind your buisness and let me live my delulu life. j/

Also for after having a convo with a friend of mine Y/N is gonna be specified at the top of post if their female, male or gender neutral presenting! Also I know Y/N is suppose to be a self insert but I lover writing personalities so heres some head canons that I have for her!

Kurapika

Always somehow smells like rain water and eucalyptus

Though he's tried to preserve as much of the traditions and customs of the kurta clan, he's slowly losing it as he goes deeper and deeper his attempt to avenge them.

Keeps a diary but is never consistent with it (sounds like his friendships)

Has the biggest rbf ever and no one is brave enough to point it out.

Absolutely despised fast food, would only eat it if it was the only option for him.

Has never kissed anyone on the lips in his life and most likely will never (sorry guys)

Has the best skin out of the whole group, he doesn't even do much its literally water and face wash

According to him his phone doesn't work, so he doesn't have Spotify to stream new artist (pls call your friend back). I do believe that he would listen to jazz and folk music.

Says he's above petty shit talking but once you get him going, he doesn't stop.

Up until he started wearing suits for his body guard job he use to hand sew his clothes.

Constantly forgets to get hair cuts and gets annoyed when his hair covers his face.

Doesn't respond to texts or calls. In the groupchat he just reads the messages and its rare that he shows up to the group hangouts

Leorio

Has a consistent smell of old spice and axe body spray

Has a thing against germs so he always has hand sanitizer on hand for whenever and wherever

Needs to be able to read something to learn it, thats why learning nen was hard for him. (apparently writing down knowelege is sacrilege in the hxh universe but whatever)

Hates modern art with a passion, all he sees are splotches of paint on a canvas with an overpriced tag attached to it.

I hate to say is girls, but he was not a feminist until Y/N beat the shit out of him for saying some bs analogy about locks and keys (if yk im sorry that yk). Would have definitly listened to one of those alpha male podcast. Kurapika almost broke his arm trying to hold Y/N back.

Has kissed one girl in his life, but it was BAD like real bad. He kept doing the kissy face (yk what I'm talking about) and gave the poor thing the ick.

Owns a planner yet never uses it.

Music taste is that of a middle aged father: Eagles, Alice Cooper, Chicago, Radio Head

The best gift giver and honestly the most thoughtful when it comes to his friends.

He'll listen to everyones problems. Honestly such a dad.

Biggest gossip, cannot shut his mouth to save his life

Killua

Smells like iron and burnt sage (grandpa zeno looks like he would be into that hippie shit ngl)

Wants to learn how to surf so bad but doesn't have the time

Y/N gave him a fidget spinner as a joke for his birthday, but he ended up loving it.

Only texts in the groupchat via meme reactions. Responds for both Gon and him because they're always together. Either way Leorio is just happy that someone is responding.

Is so judgmental on what you wear.

Thinks he's cool and edgy for listening to green day and panic! at the disco but really its what every twelve year old boy does.

Met Y/N before the rest of the group so now she's #number1trustedadult. This has caused her a lot of problems with the Zoldyck family, especially with Illumi.

Tried flirting with a girl once but in twelve year old boy fashion he ended up accidentally insulting her. He hasn't attempted to talk to a girl ever since.

Has ice cold skin, like touching it is like touching a corpse thats been stuck in the freezer

Bought purple shampoo for his hair because he noticed that the hard water in most places was discoloring his white hair.

Illumi has been blocked on everything except email, so every once in awhile he'll get random emails from Illumi's spam account.

Gon

Our sweet boy probably smells like salt water and wet forest

Has a wildlife analogy or story for every occasion

Killua has been trying to get him to change outfits, but he absolutely refuses to go into a department store after Aunt Mito lost him in one when he was younger.

Will eat absolutely anything edible.

Has a collection of stuffed animals from everywhere he and Killua have been.

He use to feed all the cats on the island. It gotten so bad that all the rodents on the island are nearly extinct because he's been keeping hundreds of felines alive.

The best swimmer out of everyone.

Does not have a specific type of music he likes but Killua got him to listen to the Weekend and they've bonded over that.

When he was younger he really wanted younger siblings because there weren't many kids on the island.

Has accidentally gotten high trying to eat a wild psychoactive plant on accident

Forgets he has a phone most of the time and when he texts back its mostly in emoji

Y/N

She probably smells like lemons and ink (you'll learn eventually)

A GIRLS GIRL (author would write her with the other female characters, however I feel like Y/N would have beef with them due to moral reason)

Like probably has thrown hands with Illumi in multiple occasions for saying that she would make a great Zoldyck house wife.

Really good at puzzles and anagrams.

Horrendously bad at math. Give her a problem more advanced than arithmetic and she's done for.

Has Aunt Mito on speed dial.

During the hunters exam she was paired up with Hisoka during the tower phase and lets say the two have a very (one-sided on Y/N's part) beef.

She's a specialist

got the ick from Chrollo for saying she's not like other girls

listens to all the sad girl artist: laufey, phoebe bridgers, taylor swift, lana del rey, fleetwood mac, e.t.c

Was a camp counselor for a few summers and made friendship bracelets for the whole group.

The only one in the group who has been to therapy (as she should).

Texts frequently in the groupchat, but is very bad at calling back.

[honeytonedhottie]

hi honey! I’ve been binge reading most of your posts and I’ve noticed you’ve always mentioned about “thinking before you speak” and even though I feel like it should be a pretty straight forward tip, I just struggle with it. I don’t really think before I speak a lot and most of the things I say are just out of impulse with zero consideration, it’s so bad my friend has called me out for a lot of it and I always somehow make like my class groups that I sit at go silent because I said something that was so awkward or out of pocket that everyone goes quiet. it made me realize how bad it was for me to control what I say and it makes me feel terrible and insecure about myself. I don’t like the things that I say and I most of the time never intend to say them, it’s just this never ending crisis of just wanting some self control but getting consumed by the desperate want for attention, for someone to just laugh at whatever nonsense I’m spewing. I don’t even like my own personality and I really want to change it not for other people but for myself 😓😓 I always think of just dropping my friends so I can focus more on myself so I can become better but I always end up being too scared because I’m selfish and think that if something were to happen and I needed their help, I wouldn’t be able to turn to them and I’d be left alone dealing with things myself (and tbh I don’t want to be alone).

This is a pretty negative post so I’m really sorry for that 😭😭 I’m just going through a midlife crisis and I want to change myself for the better but the things I do just don’t really get along with that idea which makes me struggle a lot. Thank you if you read this ask and give advice, if you want, the next time I make another ask, it’ll be a more positive update. I love all your posts so much and I really do wish you good health. 💗💗

hi anonie 💗💗 i'll do my best to give u a thorough answer and i wish u good health too.

i think that if ur habit to just be negative/say negative things effects ur friendships and ur relationship with urself then thats a sure sign that its time for a change and its good that u also see that <3

at the end of the day u need to take back power over ur mind and remind urself that YOU are in control of ur thoughts, a controlled and sustained imagination is the key. so if u control what u think -> u control what u say.

reward urself when u get an intrusive thought and dont act on it. and PRACTICE anonie, i recommend meditation because it rly puts me in control of my thoughts and emotions.

as for the second portion of ur post, if dropping ur friends and focusing on urself will help you then DO SO. dont let the fear of being alone hinder with ur self growth. doing so will help u grow as a person and become the person that u wanna be. i rly recommend dealing with ur own behavior and taking accountability by giving urself the time and space and resources that u deserve to change

i send all my love anonie and you've got this💗💗💗

[xoxkpop]

relationships outside the group

miya !

 ˗ˏˋ contact name. christopher 👨‍👦‍👦

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. aussie boy, chrissy, father ; miyami, mi oh my, mimi

     ……❪ a duo that just makes sense. honestly iconic two parents of headache children. it's obvious that they are super close. just don't ask how they became friends because they have no clue. she says that chan has helped her a lot with being a leader. she wasn't sure that she was cut out for it in the beginning but chan really taught her everything she knows. chan says that he sees miya like a sister and she even gets along really well with his family. chans sister often hangs out with miya when she gets the chance. ❫

 ˗ˏˋ contact name. joyful🌞

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. joy baby, joyful, cheery ; mimi, miss miami

     ……❪ this duo is kind of also suspected. it's not shocking that they're friends, having that miya was also an SM trainee for some time. joy has also taught miya a lot, but joy says miya has taught her more. their friendship is more mature than a lot of miya's other friendships, just because that's how they like it to be. honestly you would think they're middle aged women out for brunch. ❫

jj !  ˗ˏˋ contact name. robby🖤

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. robby, booby, bob ; double j, no j, auntie j

     ……❪ unexpected to be honest. though they make a great pairing. they're pretty much adult children. and yes she is auntie j. if you know you know. she looks at bobby like a brother she always wanted growing up. they like to goof around a lot but when it comes down to it they can both be very serious when needed ❫

 ˗ˏˋ contact name. hyunaaaa

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. hyunie, hyu ; little j, jayjie, jiminie

     ……❪ though they aren't as close as they were a few years back, jj says that hyuna is forever her older sister. in times where jj feels like being the oldest s too much, she goes to to hyuna to lean on. she has said i the past that she was beginning to feel bad for always dumping her issues on hyuna, so she started to calm it down, which is probably the reason they haven't been as close lately. ❫

jiyun !  ˗ˏˋ contact name. my mina❤️

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. minnie, mia, mine ; jiji, yunnie, yu

     ……❪ they're in love actually. they started dating in 2019, and then not long after that jiyun left the company for unrelated reasons. the company and members were all very supportive of this relationship and are so excited for them. though everyone is highly upset that they feel the need to hide their relationship, but it's not like they can while mina is in twice. the relationship is very cute and loving. they do a lot of things together and luckily most fans shrug it off to be a close friendship. ❫

 ˗ˏˋ contact name. miss jisoo-ah

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. goddess jisoo, bestie, jichu ; jichun, angel jiyun

     ……❪ such a cute friendship, a gorgeous friendship at that. the two of them go viral like every month because when they're together its just stunning. because jiyun is very public with her life still, her and jisoo often post together and go out a lot. ❫

hyelim !  ˗ˏˋ contact name. dober boy🐶

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. doberman, sang, yeoyeo ; limmy, hye, hoppy

     ……❪ they are an odd duo, they are so introverted individually but somehow it works for them. it's easy to see they get along well but they weren't always that way. they were extremely awkward when they first met. their leaders thought they weren't going to bond at all until they randomly started texting and hanging out. everyone was kind of shocked but happy they became friends so well. ❫

 ˗ˏˋ contact name. seulgi unnie🫶🏻

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. sista, ulgi ; hoppy, miss hope

     ……❪ a matured sibling type relationship. full of advice and love between younger and older sister kind of thing. not a lot of people know how actually close they are, but they've been friends since hyelim was a trainee. a lot of the members were former SM trainees, and though it isn't at all known, hyelim was for a very short period of time in 2014, and seulgi kind of took her under her wing during that time. hyelim is still very appreciative of having a role model during that time. ❫

yoonji !

 ˗ˏˋ contact name. wooyoungie oppa💜

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. wooyo, youngie, kirbs ; yoon, baby ji, oonji, cillie

     ……❪ a cute friendship, flirty for sure. well, on wooyoungs part at least. yoonji is very introverted, shy, and bashful, meanwhile wooyoung is extraverted and outgoing. so he usually sees that opportunity to tease and flirt with her, just for his own fun. their members tease them for it all the time, even their fans when they catch it from time to time. wooyoung says that yoonji is someone he feels very comfortable around and she reminds him a lot of himself in some ways. yoonji says wooyoung is easy to talk to and really fun to be around ❫

 ˗ˏˋ contact name. my woman❤️‍🔥

 ˗ˏˋ nicknames. soms, omi, blondie ; lover, luci, bitch

     ……❪ iconic. i mean, they're iconic as it is, but together? amazing. they're actually a married couple with four childrens and two dogs. kidding. but they act like it. they flirt but in that best friends that want to confuse everyone around them kind of way. "hey sexy mama" "hey beautiful lover" that kind of flirting. ❫

[ran-orimoto]

Hello greetings! Thanks for follow me! May i ask why do you like junpei-nisan and ship him with izumi-ne? Sorry f9r my rude and bad english..

Hello! Don’t worry about your english because first of all it is not bad; second, I’m not english myself so, honestly, who cares🤫. What matters the most is to understand each other, right?

I’ve recently written a little post about why I love Junpei so much:

But I guess I could tell so much more about the reason why I love Junpei. That post isn’t exhaustive at all ahaha.

For example, I could tell you about how much I love his personality being so flawed and going through a development that does happen in the background, but it’s still so beautiful. From seeing him starting off as a selfish, rude kid wanting the world to rotate around him, to observing him finding his role in the group, taking step backwards because of their sake (very ehw, but I admit it was written well from his perspective, at least).

As far as concerns Junzumi, the reasons are so many even when it comes to them. I used to ship Takumi (Takuya x Izumi) in the past, but I had never watched Frontier tbh. When I started my watching, my immediate liking on Junpei soon laced itself with a growing interest in the pair. Going beyond the fact I have got a soft spot for pairings in which a boy is so devoted to his crush, loves her so endlessly and would do anything to make her happy, I could make a little list about the main points making me like Junzumi so much.

• The main reason why I love it is that they are both lonely kids and they get constantly paired up at the beginning of Frontier because of this characteristic of theirs. They just deal with it in different ways, indeed, opposite ways: Junpei searches for friends so desperately he even sells himself, becomes a people pleaser, exchanges friendship for material stuff; Izumi has got no friends because she doesn’t want them, she doesn’t want to be treated as a special kid, being put at the center of attention (whereas Junpei DOES want to be the star of situations XD). Both also cope with this situation of theirs in different ways, almost specular, with Junpei feeling a void inside himself but trying repressing it, lying to himself, and Izumi being perfectly aware of her condition but not wanting to go deeper and looking for its root. What really makes this point (and couple) so special to me is that in some profiles about Junpei it’s stated he felt drawn by Izumi at first sight because he could perceive she was as lonely as him.

And I…I am a lonely person too, I must admit. I’m an only child like them and somehow I do relate to their need to have someone around themselves.

• They are the most well-developed duo in the whole Frontier and have got ton of potential because of their personalities clashing, but always finding a way to get along. They are…The Mum and Dad of the group, this is a certainty, but they are also great partners when they collaborate. They started off with Izumi not standing him, Junpei not knowing how to even conversate with her in a normal way. Yet, they soon learn to appreciate each other, unconsciously learn they can grow up thanks to each other. Who’s the first (indeed, only) member of the group Izumi opens up to, has got the best heart-to-heart with? Junpei. Who is the one for whom Junpei goes beyond his limits, understanding how important for him is to protect those he cares for? Izumi. Let’s also add Junpei gets interested in italian thanks to her, but this is something I have to add because of my endless love for this aspect of Junpei’s.

• They can be both a platonic and romantic relationship and, in my personal opinion, in a couple it’s so important to balance the two sides.

• Their personalities help me come up with thousand of ideas for them and it does matter for a creative person like me, I assure you. Imagining them older and applying those explosive personalities of theirs in a boyfriend/girlfriend or ,even funnier, husband/wife context is just everything to me. Junpei is the loyal, extremely devoted, affectionate, sometimes also wise husband pleasing his wife in the most disparate ways he could. There’s nothing he cares more about than seeing her happy and making her believe she’s the most beautiful, -inside and outside-, woman on Earth. Izumi is the wife liking teasing her husband, being so strict at certain moments, taking the reins of any situation and holding the scepter of the household. Yet, at the same time, she’s the most lovely companion of life, making husband feel the most desiderable man on Earth.

AND FEEDING HIM WITH BEST FOOD.

EHM, yes, moments in which you are flooded by emotions. Waves of emotions.

• They are Wind x Thunder, parts of tempests. Their elements also have got a special bond in one of the V-Pets.

• Their Digimon are both bugs in their adult forms and, Jesus Christ, consider me stupid, but I ship Fairymon and Blitzmon so hard too (especially after Blitzmon is revealed to be a simp for her in the 2019 drama).

These are some reasons. SOME, though, because there are ton of others. I…I would be banned from Tumblr because of the excessive length. Anyway! I hope I was clear and answered your question in the way you wanted. If you wanted to know something else about these topics or share your opinions, you’re welcome to do it💕 (just like you’re welcome in my blog from now on).

Thank you for the ask and have a good day🎶!

[excusethequality]

31 Days of Spooky Movies 2023: Week 2

Every October I make it my mission to watch at least 1 spooky movie every day (without rewatching anything watched in a previous October).

In case anyone is looking for some ideas on what to watch this month, here's what I've watched so far, in the order I watched them.

Week 1

22. Prey (2022)

In 1917 a Comanche woman sets out on a trial to prove her worth as a warrior by hunting something that's hunting her. But she is soon to discover that her prey is far more dangerous than she could have ever guessed.

This movie was done so dirty. Not only did they not allow them to film the whole thing in Comanche, but they didn't even give it a theatrical release. And it's so good! Amber Midthunder and Dakota Beavers are phenomenal.

I was so glad they at least gave it a physical release. Thanks to that I was able to put on my own theatrical showing (with the Comanche dub) and it is such a fun theater movie.

23. The Demon (1963)

In a small Italian village a woman is treated as an outcast and believed to be a witch. But if you're already being mistreated for being a witch, what's to stop you from trying witchcraft?

Lots of interesting things happening both in front of and behind the camera here. File this under movies I respect, but aren't really my thing.

24. Sea Fever (2019)

An Irish fishing boat becomes stranded at sea when their ship encounters a strange creature.

I generally enjoy Irish horror, and this one is no exception! It's quiet and haunting and rather beautiful. It could stand to be tighter, but I appreciated a quarantine horror film that tries to do its own thing.

25. Maximum Overdrive (1986)

When machines start trying to kill people a group of survivors find themselves trapped in gas station by a pack of killer semi trucks.

Was this based on a Stephen King story? Yes.

Was it directed by Stephen King as well? Yes.

Was this made during King's cocaine years? Oh, most definitely.

Not only does this movie rarely make sense, but it somehow manages to be boring? To its credit, the very beginning is a wild ride (the pop machine is my favorite scene).

26. Rhymes for Young Ghouls (2013)

In 1976 a young native girl fights to survive against a troubled home life, a government that wants to lock her in a residential school, and a past that continues to haunt her.

I love this movie, but the trauma in it is palpable. It wears its grief on its sleeve in a way I've never seen before. Devery Jacobs is especially great as the lead.

27. The Witch Who Came From the Sea (1976)

An alcoholic woman's trauma from her childhood drives her to act out in increasingly wild and deadly ways.

I honestly don't even have words to describe this movie. It is out there in its own world and I'd need a whole essay to try and break it down. People will probably either love it or hate it.

28. I Married a Witch (1942)

A witch and her father are released from their ancient imprisonment and seek to wreck havoc on the world. But things get tricky when a spell goes awry and she falls in love with a human.

I am not a fan of this one. But I can see that there was a really fun movie in this somewhere. It's like Veronica Lake and Cecil Kellaway were given the script to a really fun rom-com and everyone else had the script to a really unromantic drama or something.

29. The Monster Club (1981)

A horror author saves a starving vampire and is invited back to his favorite club as a gesture of gratitude.

I want to love horror anthology movies so badly, but they are notoriously bad. The one nice thing I'll say is that Vincent Price is delightful as always and I wish he was in it more. The shorts are far from great and the as are the random musical segments.

30. Intruder (1989)

Things go from bad to worse when the overnight crew at the local supermarket finds themselves trapped inside with a murderer.

An 80s slasher from a friend of the Raimis. So not only is Sam Raimi in it, so is Ted Raimi, and even Bruce Campbell makes an appearance. Maybe it's just because I've worked in a grocery store, but this one is a lot of fun. There's attempts at creativity here that I rarely see in slashers.

31. Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)

A Mel Brooks spoof of the story of Dracula.

I usually like Mel Brooks, but this one just feels a bit lackluster to me. It lacks the usual satire of his other films. It felt less like a spoof and more of just a slightly comedic retelling of Dracula.

32. I Was a Teenage Wereskunk (2016)

An homage to the drive-in horror movies of the 50s about a boy who is bitten by a skunk and starts turning into a murderous wereskunk whenever he gets aroused.

It has its moments, but it never manages to hold on to its momentum. More often than not it is busying itself by driving a bad joke into the ground.

33. The Devil's Backbone (2001)

In the last days of the Spanish Civil War, a young orphan is left at an orphanage that's hanging on by a thread. But he soon learns that evil doesn't just lurk outside the walls when he a discovers a ghostly presence that haunts the halls.

Early Guillermo del Toro for the win. It's got all the signature del Toro favorites: evil lurking behind a smiling face, magical realism, a big middle finger to facism, and more!

34. Spirit Halloween: The Movie (2022)

A group of kids decides to spend Halloween night in the scariest place they can think of: a Spirit Halloween store!

Shocking no one, this movie is not very good. It's like a disney-original Halloween movie...but without the camp and charm. Rachael Leigh Cook playing the mom made me feel really old. On a side note: that woman does not seem to age.

35. Arachnophobia (1990)

A rare and deadly spider winds up in a small American town where it proceeds to turn all the spiders in town into its minions. The local doctor better get over his fear of spiders fast if he's going to be able to save anyone.

I've never been the biggest fan of this one. But its use of practical effects, real spiders, and John Goodman are too good to ignore.

36. Tales From the Hood (1990)

A mysterious funeral director tells 4 spooky tales to the group of drug dealers that visit him one night.

One of the best horror anthology movies I've ever seen! It's so good! The stories are both spooky and actually centered around a common theme. The worst thing I can say about it is that I wished they had laid off the strobe light in story #4. I've been thinking about this movie a lot since I watched it.

37. Shivers (1975)

A wild parasite is infecting the residents of a fancy high-rise building, turning them into wild sex-crazed madmen.

I had hoped I wouldn't have to watch this again, but it was part of a horror marathon I went to, so what can I do. I've never been a big Cronenberg fan, but I know a lot of people love him. I don't understand this one. If it's arguing for the sexual liberation ideas of the 70s then its rampant pedophilia, rape, and only young women being sexualized are wildly problematic. But if it's against sexual liberation then its demonizing of homosexuality and group sex is also bizarre.

I don't know. Maybe you have to be an allosexual to make sense of this.

38. Carnival of Souls (1962)

As the sole survivor of a car wreck a young woman tries to put the incident behind her and move on, but the past continues to follow her.

Seeing this on 35mm was a treat. There's a lot of interesting things happening in this movie. The main character is clearly ace too.

[hazeballs]

Mysteries

A missing pet

A haunted house

A treasure hunt

A secret code

I feel like it goes without saying these critters are like...teenagers?

Honestly I'm giving myself boxcar kids vibes with this idea. Like Critter Nancy Drew.

The Critters

The leader: smart, curious, level-headed - obviously, it's the raccoon because I love raccoons but also they're smart.

The one who's always there and is bfffs with the raccoon, a true ride or die. Is willing to run headfirst into trouble if it means helping the leader - a mouse? It would be cute if it was something small. Okay. Something small, but also tough. Mice aren't really?? Let me Google...a Mole? But does that make it weird because mysteries, moles? Actually. Yes she can be a huge dork in love. Glasses, a bow, the raccoon is always like bro you can't just run towards danger.

The sneaky one who doesn't mind getting dirty looking for the truth - ooooooo a rat? Because it gives the dirty and also shows that even though rats have a bad reputation, this little dude is doing a great job helping and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Isn't originally part of the group, but saves the mole from a snake? Cool that tracks. A rat can get a snake.

One of their parents? Look into what animals stay together as a family. I think possums? Raccoons?

Make a map

Make a map to include in the front so people know what the town looks like. Make it with rice like people do for D&D maps. Because that's cute shit. But make it like a kid would make the map.

There needs to be enough places and in a coherent manner

Each of their houses

Their hide out where they keep track of stuff

A grocery store

A park

The outer woods

A school

A bookstore or library? (moles parents work there and they get information from them because they don't think anything if it)

Other places?

An overall series arc?

I need to make a choice. How many books will this be? 3? 4?

It can be a yearly? And either middle school (3 grades) no. High school? So 4 grades and the series can end when they leave for college.

Make the rat the villain in the first one? And at the end of the first one he saves the mole from the actual bad guy, a snake, and the raccoon and mole realize that he'd be a good asset. And in that case there needs to be 3 to begin with and then the rat can round it out as the fourth member.

So the arc. Weird stuff is happening in town. Things are going missing, treasures are being found, but really the graduates just come back to keep up the premise of living in a haunted mystery town. It makes sense in my head.

Hmm maybe. Let me think. The mystery critters start high school, the trio are already friends from previous schooling. They hear from their older siblings about how weird things just happen in town their entire lives and they don't know why. They live for this story about how they live in a haunted town full of mysteries. They go to their first day of classes and everything is normal. They go in the next week and their history teacher is missing. Nobody has heard from him, he just didn't show up. They think it has everything to do with the mystery town. A rat is skulking around. They've never seen him before - but it turns out the history teacher is his uncle and he's worried. The trio doesn't know that yet and thinks the rat is bad news. They do odds and ends and find notes from back in the day about how people just started going missing and they were never heard from again (they're really just going to college and moving) - so they start looking for their history teacher. Eventually they're getting close to finding him and a snake shows up and tries to kill the mole but the rat saves her. Then the rat tells them the teacher is his uncle and how he'd been acting weird before he disappeared and he wants to help.

Book two - the rat uncle is back, but weird. Like different somehow. The quad doesn't understand where he's been but he's been gone and everyone else is just happy to have him back. The quad are all friends and are working on a science project for the science fair and it keeps getting sabatoged. They are just miffed at first but then they start turning on each other. One of them decides to have a stake out to see what's going on. They don't tell the group what they're doing, but in the morning they're found with the destroyed project. The 3 others are appalled that the critter would do this and shun them. The one who fell asleep vows to find who's doing this. I think it should be the raccoon because the mole would be conflicted. So then the mole starts watching the raccoon more closely because how could they just destroy this many years of friendship. The raccoon decides to do another stake out under the cover of darkness and the mole stakes out the raccoon.

I'm getting a little lost right now.

I'll reread this a little later and get it together. I have to do normal errands now

[mbti-notes]

hi i’m an istj. i fear the problem im going to describe is resolved by being more Te proactive and taking on more leader responsibilities and failing. just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable. anyway i get involved with groups that align with my values to get things done but it always feels like i somehow join things that aren’t as efficient as i’d want them to be or stagnate. at the same time that i have strong opinions about what to do i resent having to take on more responsibility to enact it. i want to be part of an established, moral, process/group but it seems like everything is in flux all the time. just making sure: is this Te-Ne dysfunction ?

Your question is about type development. An important aspect of type development is understanding the weaknesses and flaws of your type, in terms of the ways that your type tends to misuse functions. You seem to believe that your problem boils down to a simple lack of desire to lead in group situations (weak Te?), but it probably goes far deeper than that.

Si-Ne problems often manifest as a general aversion to change, specifically, unwillingness to change how one looks at a situation, which would then significantly alter one's approach to it. Imbalance between Si and Ne becomes a very unhealthy stubbornness when one is also prone to Si-Fi loop that thinks in terms of pure absolutes. In essence, you believe what you believe and you want what you want, and nothing and nobody can break through that mental wall. Perhaps not even you.

Auxiliary development is meant to help with Si extremes and Si-Fi loop stubbornness by making you care more about empirical facts (Te) than your frustration (Fi). It isn't always easy to develop the auxiliary function when you come to believe that it interferes with what makes Si feel most comfortable (e.g. "just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable"). If using the auxiliary function feels so "tiring", it doesn't mean that you should avoid using it. Quite the contrary. It's an indication that you haven't yet learned to use it properly, which means further development is necessary.

Te wants efficiency, that much is true. However, what separates immature Te from mature Te is how exactly one conceptualizes "efficiency". When Te is immature, one has a very rudimentary understanding of how to be efficient. For example, one is likely to believe that efficiency is achieved through assertiveness or even brute force, i.e., "making" things happen despite all the obstacles in the way. Is it any wonder that using Te feels tiring, then? You're essentially forcing yourself to swim against the current. Si doms are painfully aware that their energy is finite, so they quickly run out of steam.

However, Te isn't really about mustering up energy. This is not what makes TJs smart, strong, and formidable. Mature Te conceptualizes efficiency as reducing the amount of energy required whenever possible, which is why they have a lot of energy to take on very heavy workloads - some people call it "working smart". This is done through facing the empirical facts of a situation head on and learning to work closely with them, which makes it far easier to make them work in your favor.

Your problem requires a two pronged attack:

Are you able to change how you look at situations in order to improve your approach (to address Si-Ne imbalance)?

Are you able to face the empirical facts of the situation and work with them rather than against them (to develop better use of Te)?

Wanting to be part of a process/group that aligns with your values in order to enact some good in the world is an admirable thing to strive for. Presumably, the other people involved in the group have the same sense of mission, otherwise, they wouldn't have joined. However, what you fail to take into account is that people aren't generally single-minded.

Human beings are complex because they are motivated by a multitude of factors, whether they realize it or not. They are full of psychological conflicts, contradictory desires, irrational impulses, old baggage, and unconscious bad habits. And when you bring people together, all that stuff comes out and creates complicated entanglements. A "group" only becomes a "team" when it is able to overcome those psychological obstacles together, and it can be a very long process of learning how to maximize strengths and mitigate weaknesses in every individual member. That's why a lot of groups simply fall apart. While your intention to join the group seems simple and straightforward (because Si-Te is admirable in its ability to keep things simple and straightforward), other people's intentions might not be so simple. If you fail to take into account the irrational aspects of human nature, you will cause yourself needless suffering.

Your frustration with people is likely a manifestation of your unrealistic expectations of them. Perhaps you aren't able to understand people who don't resemble you, let alone work with them. And you will certainly be doomed to fail if the only way Te knows to deal with individual differences is to force everyone to become more like you. That's an impossible task, not because it requires the energy of a thousand suns as you assume, but because you're choosing to fight against reality. Mature Te would advise that you should first face down the empirical facts of how people operate if you hope to discover the most effective way to influence them. Your repeated experience of feeling disenchanted with groups tells you that you're missing an important piece of knowledge about groups and how they operate.

I'll give you a very simple example from my own life. I used to gather with a group of 30-50 people once a week to conduct planned discussions. The discussions never really started on time despite everyone being in their seats because people weren't focused enough at the start of the session. There was often whispering and sidetalking and such that would go on for about half an hour before the room felt settled and focused.

One method of addressing the problem arose organically. Whoever was the main speaker simply started shushing people and it became a thing. Sometimes, it would even escalate to calling people out, like a teacher scolding a student in a classroom. This definitely made the social atmosphere less inviting and more tense. Sure, people would shut up after being called out, but they became less focused due to seething with resentment. Power struggles aren't great for group morale, especially if it's supposed to be a group of equals coming together for a common cause.

It all sounds quite childish, but these kinds of judgments are useless. You can call people childish, inefficient, incompetent, etc etc, but it doesn't solve the problem. And, worse, being judgmental blocks you from understanding people better and working with them. Perhaps an ISTJ would see this as a "mess", an "inefficiency" that wastes time, and evidence of bad character when people break the rules.

However, if you change the way you look at the situation, you might not be so quick to make such judgments. Actually, it's kind of weird for a bunch of people who know each other well to enter a room and immediately sit down quietly. Humans have a natural tendency to socialize as a way to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Isn't group cohesiveness a good thing, since it encourages better cooperation? If you are able to see the benefits of their chatty behavior and how it contributes to group cohesiveness, then instead of fighting against it, you would think of ways to harness it.

The real problem wasn't inefficiency; inefficiency was merely the symptom. The more primary problem was that a lot of people joined the group not just to "get things done", but also to make friends. The structure of the event denied them from fulfilling that important need and then they were more likely to act out. This problem was discovered when people had a chance to talk about what was frustrating them, which meant that the group had to make space to conduct some uncomfortable conversations.

To address the problem, the group eventually decided that the first 15 minutes would be devoted to socializing and allowing people to catch up, with the explicit promise to get down to business when the time was up. Some people brought drinks, others brought snacks. Some even showed up early to have more time to socialize. It enlivened people and enriched their relationships. Being "officially" allowed to get the chattiness out of their system, they were better able to sit down and focus on the planned agenda. The meeting felt like fun rather than a chore. And if you're interested in a cause, don't you want to recruit more people to support it? Making things more fun is one good way to attract support. You can look at it as wasting 15 minutes OR you can look at it as a 15 minute investment.

Solutions to human problems require:

cognitive empathy: figuring out what's really going on inside people's heads (in Te terms it means working only with the empirical facts of the situation, rather than indulging negative Fi judgments)

strategy: taking the time to work with people and figuring out the best way to help them get over obstacles (in Te terms it means investing energy early and wisely to maximize your returns later, rather than putting effort into the wrong places or only stepping in to tackle mere symptoms of the problem)

creativity: harnessing natural human tendencies to produce something useful or worthwhile (in Te terms in means taking what's already there and transforming it into a NET positive, rather than getting too fixated on every little negative detail and losing sight of the bigger picture)

Te can be a great function for dealing with human problems as long as you overcome the immature aspects of it, such as impatience, bluntness, or inflexibility. Every person is unique, so every group is different. Let go of the idea that there is only one way to approach a problem/conflict and you will start to be more creative in your approach. By accepting the fact that things are always in flux and using empirical evidence to understand and predict how change works, TJs become much more effective and efficient at everything they do. When it comes to people, meeting someone different from you is an opportunity to learn how to deal with that kind of person. The more knowledge you have of human psychology under your belt, the better you get at dealing with people's weird or negative tendencies. If a strategy works, use it again. If it doesn't work, adjust it to fit their psychology better.

In your situation, you see the problem as people being inefficient, so your inclination is to step forward and do something to "make" them more efficient. Humans aren't built with the prime directive to be efficient. They're not machines. Their psychology is messy, so trying to force them to behave like a machine is to force them to go against their psychology. In other words, you're choosing the least efficient approach. The more efficient approach, though it requires more intelligent thinking on your part (you want to become more intelligent, right?), is to properly understand the more primary problem of what's really causing them to be so inefficient in the first place. That is the way to discover the right strategy. If you are able to target those obstacles at the very root, efficiency improves more naturally.

Oftentimes, working smart doesn't require you to step up and be THE leader for everyone. As an introvert, it's probably more comfortable for you to work behind the scenes to talk to people, get a better idea of what they need and/or what problems they're experiencing, and incrementally remove the obstacles that are preventing them from focusing on what they should be focused on. You can't fix everything all at once, so just do what you can to fix what you are able to fix at any given point in time. It's a process and some progress is better than no progress.

[morifinwes]

wangxian fic rec list!

aka in which i read fics, write some recs down for aamna and share them!! they're all wangxian fics and uhh @yibobibo i hope you'll like them!!

modern

wolf devours playboy bunny by @greenteafiend (5K, werewolf!lwj, getting together, idk if anyone needs to know that but there's nudity just not uhh explicit)

Lan Zhan has wanted Wei Ying as long as he has known him, and the worst part is that he thinks Wei Ying could want him back.

Too bad he could never in good conscience let himself go there—Wei Ying has a debilitating fear of all things canine, and once a month, Lan Zhan is the exact, precise thing that Wei Ying’s nightmares are made of.

Aka, Lan Zhan is a werewolf.

between the lines by @jywait (19K gaming au!!!, i'm always down for a good gaming au, lwj is the best aksks he's such a good boy)

☆yilingpatriarch☆: pls...give me some face, help me fight these monsters...I'm gonna die

Bluetooth: no.

"You have died." The screen said, and Wei Wuxian threw his hands up in frustration.

resonant frequencies by chinxe (15K, college au, fake dating au, tw mention of cheating but it's brief and no one was cheated on i promise)

In which Wei Wuxian decides that the best way to deal with being in love with Lan Wangji is to pretend to date him for three weeks.

It goes about as well as can be expected.

drift compatible by windoworwhatever (5K, poetry, fluff, drunkji, getting together, college au)

"It was just a fact of life. The sky was blue, university stipends for graduate students working in TA positions barely covered rent, bisexuals cuffed their jeans, Lan Wangji had a massive crush on Wei Wuxian, and spent his time pining and writing research papers about gay subtexts in ancient poetry."

OR

Lan Wangji is in love with Wei Wuxian, and everybody knows, except Wei Wuxian.

the bunny next door by detailsinthefabric (43K, this is mostly fluff and very light angst, and they were neighbors!!!, rabbits!!, aka wangxian's bunny children, this is... so cute i just have to rec it)

Lan Wangji did not know what he was doing. He did not know what he was going to say. He was frozen in place, puzzling over the situation. Maybe he had made the man uncomfortable, which is why he wanted to leave? But his tone had still been so friendly—maybe…

“Would…” he paused, swallowed, forced the last words to come out of his suddenly parched mouth, “would you let me pet him?”

-------------------------------------

Lan Wangji, who doesn't know how to socialize and whose icy demeanor scares everyone away, lets down all his defenses when he meets the bunny next door...oh, and also its owner, Wei Wuxian.

leading tone by silencemostofall (32K, everyone is a music student? or something like that akskk, curse fic, tw panic attacks, tw child abuse, small scene of drunkji, wwx has low self esteem, bro this was so painful to read)

The first time you touch someone you're fated to love, you leave a mark on their skin. If they will love you in return, they'll mark you where you touched them. The deeper the color, the deeper the connection.

Wei Ying has no marks at all.

public places, private thoughts by leahelisabeth (for the love of camelot) ( 8K, cherry magic au, getting together with like... immediate upgrade to fiance status, the author is wrong i crave good wangxian cherry magic aus even tho i haven't even watched cherry magic)

Wei Wuxian had heard the story of course. It had made its rounds through his high school and followed him into his college days. He didn’t think there was any possibility it was true. Virginity was a social construct, invented by creepy old men to exercise dominance over women. The idea that a simple lack of sexual activity before the age of thirty could give one magical powers was absolutely ludicrous.

Wei Wuxian believed this until the morning of his thirtieth birthday.

AKA the Wangxian Cherry Magic AU that absolutely nobody asked for.

i'd be all right (if i could see you) by @thirtysixsavefiles (16K, this was nice, i read this at 6am but it was cute, (while writing this post i must admit i don't remember anything but 6am-me said it's good))

The younger Lan brother is something of an enigma on campus; while Lan Xichen can sometimes be seen in the company of other graduate students or conducting a seminar, Lan Wangji appears to spend all his time in class or in the library. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t attend social events. He doesn’t do anything for fun, as far as Wei Wuxian can tell, and it’s driving Wei Wuxian just a little bit up the wall.

Or, Wei Wuxian convinces Lan Wangji to come to a house party, and then they're assigned to the same group project. Wei Wuxian tries his best, but he is not in possession of all the facts.

axe on leg by itszero (4K, i still don't get why wwx did that but it was nice seeing him jealous for once, jealous!wwx, lwj i love you....)

Wei Wuxian pressed his face into his pillow and screamed. He paused to take a few deep breaths, partially hindered by the pillow, and listened to the sounds of Nie Huaisang slurping his iced coffee, from his seat on Wei Wuxian's desk chair.

Having caught his breath, he resumed his screaming and did not stop at the sound of his dorm room door opening.

"What's wrong with him?" He heard his brother, Jiang Cheng, ask.

The slurping stopped. "He's an idiot."

"He's always been an idiot. Why is he bothered about it now?"

"He forced Lan Wangji to go on a date," Nie Huaisang replied, shaking the ice cubes in his drink.

"Okay and…?"

"With someone else." The slurping resumed.

Wei Wuxian, in all his glorious dumbassery, convinces his boyfriend to go on a date with someone else.

these two most powerful by @stiltonbasket (4K, amnesia, wangxian with children!!!, aksksk this was adorable, dadji!!)

When Lan Wangji went to bed last night, he was alone in a tiny guest room with nothing but the howling of the wind in the mountains and his own lonely thoughts for company.

 

But when he opened his eyes in the morning, Wei Ying was asleep beside him.

 

(In which Lan Wangji loses twenty years' worth of memories after a night-hunt gone wrong, and his life as a doting father and husband continues without a hitch somehow.)

good things come to those who wait [but i ain't in a patient phase] by @cerlunas (4K, getting together, pining lwj)

Lan Wangji can't take it anymore.

 

“I love you”, he says, and god, it feels terrifying. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Wuxian starts, but Lan Wangji doesn’t want to hear it.

He grabs his cup and drinks everything. He doesn’t know what face Wei Wuxian is making at him right now, and it’s okay. 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian repeats louder, but it’s too late. He is already falling asleep.

Or, even after 13 years, Lan Wangji is still in love with his best friend. Maybe it's time to open up.

wei ying, will you marry m- oh my god he swallowed the ring! by selene210 (2K, marriage proposals, crack, marriage proposals but.. they go wrong)

“A ring?”

And indeed it was. The ring Lan Wangji was going to propose to Wei Ying with. That the man had now choked on.

“You swallowed it.”

“It was in my soufflé! Why did you put a ring in my soufflé Lan Zhan- oh. oh”

of glittery valentine's cards by @soft-fics (3K, valentine's day, this was adorable aksk, a-yuan best boy!!)

Lan Zhan didn't want to know what his best friend had planned for Valentine's Day; his heart would simply not be able to handle it. When his son tells him that he made Wei Ying a Valentine's Day card, though, Lan Zhan decided to bring it over anyway.

of coffee and white tea by @soft-fics (9K, fluff, lwj doesn't like coffee, wwx buys him coffee, then they switch drinks, again and again and again, the staff ships it lmao, tbh jc shouldn't have done that like wtf)

For the fourth time this week a stranger orders him a cup of coffee. Lan Wangji wonders how exactly to tell this man to stop ordering him coffee he doesn't even like. Turns out, buying the other white tea and switching drinks is not the best way to go about it

canon setting

on the importance of restraint (or lack thereof) by nixthothou (4K, in which sizhui snaps, i love that boy, no like seriously he's the best boy)

Lan Sizhui does not usually find himself in the company of Sect Leader Jiang.

Suffice to say, Lan Sizhui's feelings toward him are conflicted.

lan wangji is wei wuxian's baby by lilycs (3K, i was craving fluff while reading this, lwj my beloved, drunk!lwj)

Lan Wangji gets drunk from barely a cup of alcohol, becoming a whiny baby and asking his husband for cuddles.

one of our own by glitteringmoonlight (8K, wei wuxian & lan sect, 5+1 things, in which they learn to love him, they're all part of the wwx protection squad lead by lwj, wangxian isn't the focus but !!! THIS)

Times change, but some people remain the same.

The Lans are nothing, if not aware of this.

For one of their own, they will stand against the world.

Or, 5 times the Lans defended Wei Wuxian, and the 1 time he was there to see it happen.

so why not crack your skull when the mind swells by @greenteafiend (13K, love curse, post cql canon, curses, getting together, fluff, so much fluff, lwj tries to talk about his emotions!, lwj pov)

Lan Wangji detects the curse trying to curl through his heart meridians like smoke. A love curse, then. It must have been cast remotely somehow to have found him in his bed in Cloud Recesses. No matter. Lan Wangji crushes it easily, enveloping it in his spiritual energy, and then squeezing. Curse averted, Lan Wangji closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. He thinks no more of it.

Two days later, Wei Wuxian arrives in Cloud Recesses.

Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

i started from the bottom / now i'm rich by x_los (57K, time travel, fix it, jealous lwj, crack treated serious, god this is so good tho, wwx/wrh & wwx/jgs but like as a joke and it doesn't really happen, but it has its purpose!!)

“First, you get the money. Then you get the power, respect - hos come last.”

 

Wen Qing traps Wei Wuxian in the Demon Slaughtering Cave, but Wei Wuxian isn’t interested in being the beneficiary of the Wen Remnants’ noble sacrifice. His efforts to free himself accidentally send him back to the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. Coreless but armed with demonic cultivation, knowledge of the future and his wits, Wei Wuxian takes advantage of this opportunity to come out on top of both the war and its aftermath—before either has a chance to happen—by marrying and swiftly burying the cultivation world’s worst men.

Lan Wangji is confused, hurt, and uncomfortably aroused by Wei Wuxian’s improbably elaborate series of Sect-themed bridal negligees.

lead me on through by mrsronweasley (55K, they're in love your honor, arranged marriage but they don't know to whom, basically wwx & lwj want to practice kissing which then goes beyond kissing but not the whole way y'know, lxc the best wingman tho)

"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.

"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.

"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."

[witchlyboo]

Definitely, maybe.

Part five: The one who belongs to someone else.

Introduction. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four.

Paring: Latina!reader x Logan Lerman x Tom Holland x Ben Hardy x Timothee Chalamet x Pedro Pascal x Michael B. Jordan

Warnings: Swearing, angst, misspellings, some Spanish, me learning how to write properly, and NY stuff that I've learned from movies that we all agree to pretend are real.

Word count: 6.4 k

a/n: You been asking for smut, I know, I know, I just wanted to introduce you to all the boys first, and we're getting there, just one more ahead. Also, I'm working on a masterlist because we are getting too many parts already.

All body types and skin tones friendly. You can also enjoy it as a no Hispanic reader. Constructive feedback and misspellings correction is always welcome.

Red and blue lights flash the driving mirror.

—No, no, no, por favor que no sea a mi—You beg to the sky looking at the patrol that is asking you to park, or someone else, there's a lot of cars in this part of the city, there's a big chance is the panic who's controlling your senses.—Dios, mi abuela fue a la iglesia cada domingo de su vida y nunca te pidió nada, please let me have some of her divina recompensa.—But that's not how it works, you end up parking with just a few seconds to think what to say. There's a perfect explication of why you are driving a car that is not yours in the middle of the night and smelling like a minibar.

Then this ridiculous thought comes to your mind, you look expensive, you've never seen the daughter of a senator but you must be close to it, it would make you less of a feminist if you just use your attributes? Ugh, you feel sick just to think about it but don't have enough money to pay a fine, and the constant paranoia of being chased all the time as an immigrant will only get stronger.

You pull down your dress a little so your neckline can do its job but you regret it immediately, and you're pretty sure you look more like an expensive prostitute who stole the car of his lover than some influential men's daughter.

—License and registration.—You hear him say when he approaches your window. You don't like this but you have to play the dumb tourist, the pretty foreign girl that is too stupid to be dangerous, with the look you have tonight it shouldn't be hard. But damn you hate cops, any uniformed man that works for the government is your eternal enemy, and you don't know how long you could keep the nice dumb Latina game before spit on his face.

—There's something wrong, officer? ...You?!—Your sexy and fake high voice is ruined when you see the face of the man who stopped you. This night couldn't get worse.

—Wait, what happened with the party?—Evan interrupts you while you finish some notes for work, little remainders for later when you don't have an eleven years old kid running around you, he's not usually this energic and you have to blame yourself for that, you're describing a life of excess and eccentric fun, something you let behind so many years ago that your own son doesn't know even a bit of it.

—Ugh, a nightmare doesn't worth telling.—You remember vaguely most of it but what keeps fresh in your mind is bad enough to don't want to bring it back.

—But if Timothée is my dad I have to know the important things, including the bad stuff.—Sounds perfectly reasonable and that's what makes you groan at him. Sometimes you feel blessed that your kid is better than you in any possible way, and sometimes you want to kill his brain with video games and reality shows like the rest of the parents.

—Ok, cool, but I'll keep all the +18 content for myself, so this part of the story might be blurry for you.—It kinda is for you anyway.

You should’ve known this night was cursed, you had a feeling because a) your earring fell off at the same time Timothée texted you to give you the party address and say he can't pick you up. And b) he won’t pick you up. Your mother would say that’s reason enough to not go, a real gentleman wouldn’t make you go to an unknown place in the middle of the night on your own in a city like this. But you decide to ignore it because you are a modern woman and because it’s worth it. It better be.

The outfit must be something special. You always take your time to choose what to wear, even if just another regular day, and since this isn't the case you thought about it for hours, that made your mind busy enough to not thinking about Tom and the whole love confession. He texted you saying he'll come for you to go to class together on Monday, which is completely impractical because he's way closer than you but is progress and you're going to take it.

You wanted to ask for Sheep's opinion but you thought she might not care, has been a few days since she started acting strange like she's bothered just to see you breathe. You want to blame his boyfriend to take all her time and attention from you but is probably just her new job, she got a small role in a Netflix show, and even when you're so happy for her, that's the event that has changed her into someone completely different. But you give her time, stress can do bad things to people.

The winner is the exact copy you made of the black and white striped dress Cameron Diaz wore in "The Mask" beautiful, classy, and sexy enough without being too scandalous, not that you have any problem with that, but this isn't the occasion, you don't want to feel like you're being too much or too little, just enough, it's supposed to be easy, right? you were born for this. Just adding some big shiny earrings you got on a thrift shop that look like real diamonds and you're ready, not that you own any to compare. Red lipstick, dark eyes, and a messy bun to get that disinterested pitch every look needs.

Getting there wasn't a problem, you were in the rich part of the city, everyone know who, where and what just to brag about it. The excitement is growing with every second, you check your makeup like thirty times in the elevator and send texts to your mom just to let her know where you are, and because you have to share that moment with someone and you are limited of friends these days.

Timothée opens the door with red eyes, drunk, high, or somewhere in between, you know then you were right about the bad feeling. He jumps on you to kiss you and no matter how much you try to explain the delicacy of your lipstick, he does it anyway, leaving a taste of alcohol and shrimps in your mouth. Taking you by the waist he walks you to a group of people you don't know while you're trying harder to fix the red color of your mouth without a mirror.

—Here is the companion I bought, look at her, that's how five grand per hour look like.—They laughed but you were too disoriented to process all the things he said, it was supposed to be a joke? if it is, why isn't he correcting? Instead, his hand goes straight to your ass and presses it to get you closer to him.

—I'm actually an intern in the costume designer department of the new version of "Sense and Sensibility".—You wanted to mention your recent promotion to hairstylist and makeup artist but that might be too pretentious. Anyway, they don't seem to care what you are or not, in fact, they don't even see you, all eyes are on Timothée

—Oh, well, is easy to forget when you're paying them—All laughs again. Who is this person? Who are all these people, actually? You recognize some influencers, a few cast members but there's no sign of the director, other main actors, not even his co-star. You feel like an extra in a movie where someone will be killed in a luxury party, hopefully not you. You take his hand from your body and clear your throat.—I'm just joking my love, she looks stunning, isn't she? I’ll get you a drink.

He leaves and the group of people surrounding you suddenly dissipated like boiling water, you were on your own again and despite some judgmental gazes is like you’re not there, you’re sure you could just take your dress off and throw it to someone’s face and unless Tim says something about it, no one would care. You’re there as his companion, an ornament, and that’s not enough to earn their attention because it’s too obvious you’re the one in turn.

You walk to the only window no one is smoking and check your phone, you know, the thing you do when you pretend you have important issues to attend, but no, you end reading some old messages, pictures, texting your mom of how much fun you’re having at the party, and somehow you check your filed Facebook messages to find Logan’s name. You cover the screen so fast you hurt your nail, his name is enough to make you tremble like a Chihuahua, you haven’t talked to him since that night, you know from his sister he lives in the house he bought for you two and he’s having the happiest life without you. You want to believe that because that means you took the right decision but deep inside… no, you can’t be that person, you want him to be happier than ever.

You find the guts to open the message, and you read as slowly as is humanly possible. “My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health…” Dios, just Logan could start a message like that, your smile is almost too big to fit in your face so you bit your nail to cover it a little. “I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you’ll be happy to know…”

—That’s a fucking long-ass message.—Tim appears behind you and takes your phone from your hand, spilling some of his drink on your dress in the process. Apparently, he's been there long enough to read part of the message.

—Give it back.—You command in the most severe voice you have, your magical moment got ruined and you remember the hole of hell you are.

—"My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health. I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you must know I still use them now and then"—Timothée starts reading the message, and even when no one is close enough to hear it and you don’t really care about this people’s opinion, that’s not for anyone to read, that’s one of the few parts of your life you treasure the most and you’re not ready to get over it.—You little slut, are you cheating on me with a med student?

—Give it to me.—You repeat trying to take the phone from his hand but he’s faster and walks away putting it out of your reach.

—"I meticulously preserve them, I certainly know any piece of art made by you will be priceless in the near future"—You don’t want to hear it coming from his drunk mocking voice, so you try to ignore what he’s saying and put more effort on chasing the phone.—Should I had kept the jeans where you left the wet spot on? I didn’t know you were an artist, my love.

—Timothée, por el amor de Dios.—Now you're trying to climb him, it wouldn't be that hard to take him down, he's skinny and you're fierce. That's what you thought but he's not moving even with you are on top of his shoulder and his opposite long arm keeps the phone away from you.

—Who is this guy and why is he talking to my girl like this?—You see the olive eyes getting darker and the tone of his voice went deeper than you thought he could do. You desist from taking the phone, you know the bullies love the attention, maybe that's exactly what he wants and give it to him just makes it worse.

—I'm not your girl.—You claim fixing up your dress having enough of games, and you have no reason to keep worrying about losing your job, the filming is done, and apparently your relationship with him too. You don't care about any of that anymore, just want to read Logan's text.

Even behind all the alcohol and the eyes injected in blood thanks for who knows what kind of drug, you can see the disappointment and anger, but it's not a broken heart, Is the hissy fit of a child that loses his balloon and now everyone will pay for it, especially you.

—Are you sure about that?—You can see him swallow hard, almost looking vulnerable, but his voice is defiant and threatening to prove you wrong. He just has to stretch out his arm to reach the open window with your phone in hand, his intentions are clear and the only thing you can do is raise your hands as a reflex.—You were mine the moment you put a foot on my trailer, and I don't fucking share my stuff.—Before you can say a word he drops the phone from the fourth floor.

You know is senseless but you find yourself running out of the party and going to search the device, using it also as an excuse to get away from that place. This is the first time someone makes you feel meaningless, you know the famous' world is cold and lacking in empathy but this is ridiculous, they're a bunch of parasites fed by attention and power. By Timothée.

The screen is crashed and the rest of it is probably beyond repair, not that you're surprised, its life is longer than you've been in the country and you admit you should have replaced it much earlier but you're not the kind to throw away things that still work. However, is not the phone you are worried about, not as much as what it contains.

—That was obsolete anyway, I'll get you a better one.—You didn't know he was following you, his voice interrupts your self-wailing. He sounds calmer and a little embarrassed, but not enough to say sorry, you don't think he's capable of saying it.

You shake your head and start to walk away without a word, you don't want anything from him, not materially, at least.

—Don't make a scandal out of it, it's just a phone!—He yells erasing any trace of regret in his voice. He doesn't see the reaction he expected and that's when he runs after you and with a hand on your upper arm pulls you back, you gasped for the sudden bluntness.—That annoying habit you have of leaving when I'm talking to you.

You push him away with all the strength you have, which resulted in him almost falling on the ground.

—I don't care about the stupid phone!—You finally break, but sadly is not as satisfactory as you thought it would be.—You are mean, vain, arrogant and the worst part is that you enjoy being this despicable human because you have absolutely no consequences to it. Everyone around you just accepts it and I feel so sorry for you because the only possible way for you to fill the void inside is to be surrounded by that crowd of mules licking your steps—To your surprise, he has nothing to say, he's just standing there with no facial expression, whatever he feels is easily covered by his years of experience acting, even drunk.—I can't give you that and it's obvious they don't want me either. What am I even doing here?—You ask yourself thinking where would be the best way of getting a cab, is a rich zone, must be easy.

—Everything is better when you're around—His voice is thin and fragile, you have to process what he said three times in your head to understand his words. You're not willing to look at him yet.—You're not like the others.

—Pure bullshit. You love to repeat that misogynist discourse of girls being in a certain way because is easier than be responsible for the people you choose to be—You were hugging yourself the whole time, is a cold night, but not enough to be bothersome, you enjoy Fall weather—You got me for a moment, I give you that, you fooled me but I'm too tired of guessing what version of you is real—When you return your gaze at him, he doesn't try to hide the guilt anymore, but there's still haughtiness in there.—Now, if you don't mind Mr. Chalamet, I need to get a cab.

—No, you came with me, you leave with me.—There's no trace of alcohol in his voice anymore, a good scolding is enough to put you sober, you know that thanks to your mom. Oh god, you're becoming her.

—You didn't bring me here, gigantic head—You look at him and put your hand in front of him with the palm up. He stares at it for several seconds before put his own on it—Not that!—You shake it and start looking inside his jeans pockets until you feel the metal of his key car.—You can't drive and I have to get home. You'll find it in the studio tomorrow.

That's how you ended with a car way more luxurious than you expected, driving so slowly and carefully that the police stopped you. What a night, but at this point, you couldn't care less about anything that is not that message, is been months and you can't get over it, over him. Not even Ben moans, Tom's comforting arms, or fight with a movie star at 3:00 am. is enough to get him out of your mind.

—So is true, you don't wear anything that hasn't appeared in a movie, huh?—Michael B. Jordan is leaning on the car window with a mocking smile and a sparkle of satisfaction that you would love to punch but his uniform keeps you in line, where you come from police is not equal to justice, most of the times is oppression.

—You know where it's from?—That was kind of comforting, no one at the party noticed. Not that you care.

—Is The Mask, not some Adam Hitchcock's blurb.—He smiles and even when you really don't like him, it's nice to be with a familiar face, you are really tired of running away, scaping for problems that are a result of your null capacity to deal with emotions. Ugh, what a word.

—Is Alfred Hitchcock, actually.—You didn't want to sound priggish, but you correct him with no time to stop yourself, an old habit.

—You got me, smarty, you know more than movies than me. Where did you get this car?—You feel really nervous even when you got this legally, you have your documents and license on time and he's being nice enough to not want to run away in a car that you technically borrowed for yourself.

—It's not mine.—No shit, Sherlock.

—No shit, Sherlock, I was asking where did you steal it.—You wanted to laugh but there's something with the uniform that just doesn't allow you to be yourself.—Are you drunk?

—No, no, fuck, no, it's just, I don't feel comfortable with cops—He raises his eyebrows but that is his only reaction.—Listen, is my boss' car, I'm doing the favor to take it to the studio, and I'm really nervous because is fucking expensive, he's an asshole, I haven't drive un almost a year because you people only use cars if you're rich or your work and lives depend on it. I'm starving.—The last part came out of nowhere, you haven't eaten anything in almost 13 hours, maybe that's the actual reason why you are that moody.

He doesn't answer right away, takes his time to look at you, what makes you blush, he's really close, closer than he's ever been. Does he smell like green apples? Not the actual apples, the artificial smell they had given to them.

—Get out of the car.—Oh no, is he arresting you? Is he finally taking revenge for every time you make fun of his Hawaiian-type shirts? You know you have too much karma accumulated and a cop making you pay for it when you don’t believe in their sense of justice is kinda poetic, and evil.

You don’t want to discuss with someone with a taser, gun, pepper spray, or who knows what else. So you take your bag, the key car, and get off defeated.

—My turn is almost over, I’ll take you to eat something, c’mon.—He walks back to his patrol and you stay still for a few seconds still processing his words, you must look totally devastated for him to offer that. How you see it you have two options, go with him and spend an awkward hour with a person you don’t like or risk getting a fine, Tim can pay it, it’s not a big deal but you don’t want to owe him even the minimal thing.

You get in the car holding on to your bag to feel calmer, this is the first time you’re fully alone with him since you found him half-naked in your kitchen. Those defined abs may never leave your brain.

—Are you cold?—He interrupts your thoughts with his question, you didn’t notice you were shaking. He looks for something under his seat and gives you an NYPD hoodie, you hold it doubting your next move, is not like you don’t appreciate the gesture but it’d be easier to take if it doesn’t get that words printed—Is clean.—He says chuckling when he sees the way you’re looking at it.

—Is not that, just, you know, fuck the police, defund the NYPD, demilitarize the pigs and that stuff.—You say putting on the hoodie anyway, is a cold night and you won't help the institution wearing their propaganda.

—Yeah, I get it, but you can't change the system just from within.—You decide is not the right moment to have a political conversation so you shrug your shoulders and discreetly smell the hoodie, a mix of cologne, green apples, and cheap soap, you know is cheap because you buy the exact same, do its job.

—I'm in the mood for pizza.—You say casually, making a deal to yourself to try to be his friend, he is a small part of your life anyway.—Domino's is open at this time of the night?

—Tell me you're not consuming that shit, dear Lord, you been here for how long, two years? I can't believe your idea of a good pizza is Domino's. Stella hasn't taught you anything?—You're surprised by the level of condescension with a pizza and you mirror his smile, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Your school program includes people from all around the world so you don't have that much experience with actual new yorkers. Logan is rich, so he doesn't really count.

—What's wrong with Domino's? I don't buy much street food, is cheaper to buy things on the food market. Besides, all pizza is good.—The mention of Sheep makes you a little tense, so you don't say anything about it, is not a conversation to have with him.

—Don't blaspheme in the patrol, I just washed it—You laugh, finally, after a terrible weekend. You can see why she likes him, there is something about his voice, smile, and his eyes that feel... calm, like watching Friends after a marathon of Lord of the Rings.—There are rules to survive this city, and I'm surprised you have made it this far without a proper guide.

—Chill out Mr. Miyagi, I'm not from the jungle, and I've learned a lot by myself.—He gives you a lopsided grin as a request, and you put your fingers up ready to enlist your acquired knowledge.—Walk fast, like you're about to be stabbed, something that actually happened to me, with an umbrella—He nods and laughs being related to it.—Number two, no small talk, no one cares, even if they ask. Number three, if you look a stranger in the eye, especially a homeless person, you have essentially invited them to approach you.

—Number four, we never eat from Domino's, Papa John's, Pizza hut, or any other chain restaurant, only trucks and local places are allowed.—You roll your eyes but you get the point, is just, again, you're not much into street food, it doesn't taste like home and the only way to eat food like that is preparing it yourself.

—Fine, fuck capitalism, let's support local places—You make an obvious fake enthusiastic tone but he nods proudly.—Number five, you don't need a car to live here, not even know how to drive. I would have successfully avoided this police brutality if I had followed that rule.

—For someone who is about to eat for free, you whine too much.—He parks the car and gives you a sign to go with him. You see him go to a pizza truck and order, you realize at the moment how ridiculous you look, so before chasing him you let your hair down, take your huge earrings off, and roll up the skirt of your dress until your mid-thighs letting the hoodie cover the rest, and clean the red lipstick with a Kleenex from your bag. Now you look more like a college person and not a rich girl who just got seized.

—Here you go.—He says giving you a slice as big as your head, looks oily and spreading cheese everywhere. Perfect.

—Is it vegan?—You ask receiving the food with an obnoxious face. His kind grind turned into a dread expression and you give him your second laugh of the day.—I'm kidding.

You are about to give it a bite when you see passing next to you a huge rat with the exact same slice as yours in its mouth, running into the dark of the night happy to have obtained the food for its family. They use to scare you when you just moved out but now they're like any other pigeon in the sky.

—Rule... whatever, a rat with a slice of pizza is a symbol for good luck, congratulations.—He pets your head awkwardly, not sure if you're ok with the physical contact, which, surprisingly, you are.

—I see rats with bagels all the time.—Pizza and bagels, that's the main culinary wonders of the city, you like it, not much to object but is hard not to compare it with your home's food.

—Is easy to confuse a rough diamond with a simple rock.—You both eat in silence, enjoying the mixed sounds of the city and all the different smells, the whole situation feels like one of those lofi music videos. You remember thinking about moments like this before getting the scholarship, what would it be like to feel normal in the city of your dreams.

—How do you know that much about movies?—He asks after a few minutes when you take a break to drink something, that pizza is not easy to take.

—When I was a kid a spent much time on my own, so my dad bought me a used DVD reproducer, and at the corner of my neighborhood was this movie store where you could buy 5 pirate movies for one dollar. They were blurred, with a terrible sound, and most of the time with the wrong movie inside but they helped me to not feel lonely. Eventually, the store closed but I've watched everything in it by then—He gives you a warm smile, you never told that story to anyone, not because is too intimate to share, but because no one asked, it doesn't sound like a question with a complex answer.—Anyway, I watched Marie Antoinette when I was like eight, and I decided at that moment that however is done I wanted to be part of that magic.

—You hear all kind of people chasing dreams in this city but is hard to find someone who actually deserves it.—You blush and you cover it with your hair but the smile on your voice is impossible to hide.

—Is that a compliment? You must really want me to like you to date Sheep.—You laugh but you can see his face tense, so you can guess your friend has been busy breaking everyone’s hearts.

—She hasn’t returned my calls in three days so I don’t think there’s much you can do—You nod, all this time you thought he was the reason she is ignoring you but apparently you are both in the same boat.—But yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking, what I should have said is, Marie Antoinette at eight? I can see where all the damage started.

You gasp and throw your napkin at his head, he easily catches it without even looking at it and laughs; that was unexpectedly attractive.

—Why a cop?—You ask, not sure where that question came from, maybe you authentically want to know more about him, he just bought you food, and honestly, that's the easiest way to win your trust.

—I wanted to be an actor when I was a child. This is the city of opportunities so you may think that if you want to chase the big wonder, this is the perfect place to do it. But I grow up surrounded by these people giving their entire lives to get something just given to one in a million so I decided is not worth it. For many years I wondered what I wanted to do with my life and the answer was really clear, my dad was a cop, a good one, or that’s what people say. I don’t remember much because he died when I was seven—Conversations about death are not your strength, everything can turn out uncomfortable if you choose the wrong words.—It might not be that glamorous but if my father died for it, it surely worth it.

—For the good ones.—You raise your almost empty can of Coke and he does the same with a grin that warms the cold weather of the night.

—For the good ones.

The next two hours passed like minutes talking about anything and everything. It just felt right to talk freely with him, you didn’t feel judged for your awkward family moments or your random thoughts, not even once because he told you his too. At some point of the night he borrowed you his gym sweatpants, any of you could just suggest going home but that was off the table, end that peace just for weather reasons would have been a tragedy.

—I read Timothée Chalamet is a dick. Is that true?—The mention of his name remains you of your life and everything that comes with it, including the middle semester project that you must dedicate your entire day, one that is about to start.—What, you can’t talk about it?

—He is a complete dick with no sense of privacy or human decency—And when he interrupts a deep kiss to look at your eyes, smile, and caress your chin, you feel like a character of his Victorian movies. But he didn’t ask that.—But the next week he’ll be no longer my problem.

—That’s why we have rule twenty-three, don’t ask for a picture of a celebrity unless they are local—You have heard about it before but you haven’t got the opportunity to decide if you like that rule because the only celebrities you have seen are from work and that club’s party opening.—That means you’ll be free to go to the Stephen Kings’ movie projection there will be for Halloween.

You don’t know if that was a proposition, a suggestion, or just a simple recommendation, and whatever it is, you noticed he was nervous to ask. Is it wrong? It feels wrong like you were betraying your friend accepting to hang out with his boyfriend without her consent. But he didn’t ask you to go with him so is safe to answer.

—Yeah, I guess—You get a moment, four seconds top, where you shared innocent, curious, and tenting gazes like three graders in the playground. And that’s the further you will allow yourself to go.—We better leave, if the sunlight touch me I’ll turn into dust.

You get off the car hood and go to the side door, but this time he opens it for you. You give him a “seriously?” Look, receiving a little push in your arm as a response.

↬☀︎︎

A distant voice asks you to wake up, softly whispers that turn into caresses on your cheek, your eyes feel so heavy, even when you are well aware of your environment your eyelids keep closed.

—Good morning, Princess—This is the first time Tom calls you that way, the change from silly nicknames to Princess is enough to get you out of hibernation. He is squatting beside your bed, his smile is the promise of a better day, and chasing that idea you give him one small back.—Your mom has been texting me desperately all day, she said you're not answering her calls and is worried.

—Fuck, my phone broke last night, can I call her from yours?—That’s an oversimplification but in the search for a better story, that's what you decide to believe and tell. Tom nods and gives it to you, he looks happy, beyond that, this is the first time you see that subtle blush on his cheeks and the eyes sparkling. You sit on the bed next to his body looking for your mom's number, slowly he moves between your legs, you have shorts and an oversized Back To The Future t-shirt, you got took the time to prepare yourself to bed last night and keep Michael’s clothes inside your closet to wash them, like The Tell-Tale Heart, a little innocent secret who feels dirty somehow

The conversations with your mom are always long, nostalgic and the tears are hard to hold for both parts; after a long life sharing almost every day with her, her absence never feels smaller. But this time is different, Tom is exploring the bare skin under your knee with his warm hands, asking for permission with curious eyes, and when you don’t object to the touch the British boy keeps his exploring mission cautiously, giving special attention to see your eyes in case something change. Is time to hang up when he gives a long and loving kiss to your knee, the less erotic kiss you could think of but so intimate to bristle your skin.

—Not nice to touch someone's daughter when is talking to her mom.—The protest of your voice loses strength at every word, he heard that and just straight his back to reach your face, the gap is almost extinct.

—We're okay, she likes me.—He assures holding your hips and pulling you a bit to him. Tom looks very comfortable with the new closeness authorization, you like it but are not very sure about it yet, most of you still think of him as your best friend.

—Did she tell you that? Are you talking with my mom behind my back?—You laugh when he does, almost like nothing changed.

—She adores me, I swear, I'm invited to Christmas, you know?—You're not surprised, she invites everyone, Logan was too but the first time he got family plans and didn't make it to the second.

—You should go, maybe we can do...—His lips touch yours in a peak at the middle phrase and makes you forget what you were about to say.—Man, the audacity to interrupt...—Then he kisses you again, deeply, using his tongue to taste your inner lip and his hands holding your shirt in fists. That's a twist of events.

—Is that ok?—You hear a weak whisper coming out of his voice but you got so mesmerized on his lips that decided to ignore it and kiss him back instead. He responds to your touch and starts to lean over you to make you lay on the bed.

Jesucristo bendito, is this happening? like, actually happening? you must look like trash, you barely took all the makeup from the night before and didn't take a shower, you start to get so worried about smells, feelings, and what that'll mean to your already too much-spoiled friendship.

However, the time of doubts is done when Sheep starts yelling in the living room, you both reacted running to the sound and looking for your blonde friend. Michael is there but doesn't look like the same as a few hours ago, is annoyed and tired for the lack of sleep, a look that doesn't match him at all.—What did you do?—You ask him fast assuming she's mad for something he did.

—Just in time, the star of the movie, I was wondering how much it will take you to be the protagonist of this.—That is Sheep's voice talking about you and what must be your heart breaking from her words.

—Excuse me?—You wish your tone would be less savage but you can't help respond the same way she did.

—Logan wasn't enough, then you got the drummer, fucking Timothée Chalamet, Tom and now my boyfriend. I'm so glad I didn't leave you alone with my dad or I'd be calling you mom now.—You have no words to that, Michael doesn't even dare to look at you, he must have told her something she misunderstood, but Sheep, or well, Stella is saying things she actually thinks and keep to herself. Tom walks in front of you whispering things to her to calm her down but she is not looking at him, you didn't tell her anything about Tom either so he's taking responsibility this time.—Go ahead and fuck the whole city, Michael if that please you but you're crossing the line with Tom and you know that, you're going to ruin him as you ruin every man that enters in your life.—She has a very you moment having the last word of the dispute and getting out of the apartment with Michael going after her but not putting much effort in it.

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[twentytarot]

hi everyone! i’ve been hard at work with my job this past month but i am finally done and back with a reading. today, we’re doing a reading on marriage in your life in general. pick the tiffiany ring that sets your thoughts off, triggers a memory or invokes a strong emotion and scroll right down for your reading. see you there! 💍

CONTENT WARNING: there are negative piles here. not every pile has a future spouse.

PILE ONE: CUSHION CUT

if you were handed an ultimatum and forced to choose between marriage and work, you’d probably get into your car and go to work the next morning. this makes things a little complicated, because you’re ambitious, you’re feisty, you hate it when your time and attention is used up on something that doesn’t matter to you. if you get married, however, your time will be eroded by many things that don’t matter in hindsight. you see, there will always be ridiculous in-laws, there will always be someone that will want your help so long as it is available. someone is going to want kids, even if that decision is completely irrelevant to them, or something dumb like that. no married couple gets out of having to deal with these things, and no couple gets through it without fighting over it a single time. so, my question to you is: will you have the patience to see this through? or will you fold?

unfortunately, the cards don’t predict the best of outcomes when it comes to your marriage. you probably will decide not to get married in the first place. if you do, you might remarry, or get into a questionable third-party situation. yet, i don’t see this being a huge hindrance on your life as a whole. you seem to me like the kind of person who cares less about having an other half compared to your friends, and i think you are going to have so much going for you in other facets in your life that you won’t be clinging onto this relationship when it goes south. this gives me celebrity vibes, almost, like someone who can never be home and the relationship ends because work is so demanding. so this will be a little sad, but i’m confident you will pick yourself back up quickly. 

astrologically, cancer came out very strong, and the interpretation i want to go with is that your most significant relationship will be very cancerian in nature. comforting at first, but ultimately probably not aligned with what you want to do with your life. that’s alright, you’ll be able to afford your own diamond ring anyway.

PILE TWO: SOLITARE

well, pile two, it looks like someone told you “if no one is going to marry you, i will”, and then they took it seriously. i kid, but i do see an element of your future spouse being someone you didn’t expect at all. perhaps you thought they would just be a best friend that knows all your secrets. and yet, this person knows your darkest secrets and then offers you love in its purest form. i get the feeling you’re not quite used to that, pile two. i’m hearing this underlying feeling of “what if i give too much, wait what if i give too little”, and i think this is partly because you haven’t seen first-hand a marriage that is of the kind you want to be in. it feels like you’re not sure if happy marriages exist in your world. well, they do. it just turns out that you give just the right amount when you’re not trying, which is why a best friend finally becomes your spouse.

this person will be with you through thick and thin, you will feel like they are your soulmate. you will always feel balanced in your relationship with this person because they will always be silently watching the scales, tipping it this way and that whenever something is about to swing out of balance. they will help you feel like you have nothing to worry about, they will bring a childlike kind of happiness into your life. 

now, onto a little bit of warning. no marriage is only ever happy, and i sense that your source of pain will come from outside influences. money is one, health is another. you will be very much together, but it’s a blessing and a curse because when one goes down, the other follows. the advice to you is to try your best to lift each other up through bad times, and know when you have to detach and go do your thing alone for the good of your future with them. you don’t have to always turn around to make sure they’re following, they’re your forever! they’ll be there.

PILE THREE: ROSE INFINITY

your marriage isn’t going to be a very fast-paced one— when you meet your future person, you’re going to be eons away from being ready to get married, and they will be the same. i almost feel like you will laugh at yourself when you start dating this person. the relationship just isn’t... pretty. this person almost brings out the worst in you: you fight them about the stupidest things and rile them up all the time just because it’s funny. there’s ten separate occasions where you’re pretty sure you should have been dumped or dumped them for some iconic out of left field insults, but for some reason it’s just funny after you’ve both calmed down. so it’s fun, and it’s so 20-something, but you’re preparing yourself for the inevitable breakup. and then... it somehow never comes.

somewhere along the lines, you grew up, and so did they. you didn’t know it then, but this person brings the best out of you as much as they bring out the worst. like a tantrum that just has to be thrown before a little child can settle down, you took your growing pains out on each other, and then somehow managed to fit into each others’ lives forever without even thinking about it. you give each other love naturally, flowing with each other and keeping each other sane. after you get married, there’s a feeling of “i can rest when this person is around” kind of energy because you trust each other to come out with the truth when it needs to be said, but you also trust that the person will be there to pick up the pieces if you break.

so this person isn’t as good-looking as you hoped or imagined. or they’re not the type to show you off, and they’re not really the type that wants to be showed off either. so maybe someone made a joke at their expense and you laughed. the beauty of all of that is, despite all of that, they love you and will for a long time. isn’t that already more than we can ask for, as mere mortals?

PILE FOUR: YELLOW HALO

okay... there are two groups of people in this pile. let’s talk similarities first. your partner is going to be quite eccentric. visual arts came up in particular, so perhaps your partner will be an artist? the last similarity is that marriage is unlikely, but as for why, it depends on which interpretation resonates more with you.

for the first group, this is probably my lgbt+ in a place that hasn’t legalised marriages not between a man and a woman pile. for reasons that seem bigger than yourself, marriage is unlikely in your life. i feel a lot of unwelcome judgement coming from this group. i think you might not get too much support around you; maybe your parents have something against people who are not in “professional degree” jobs, or your family and environment as a whole is very conservative. regardless, you will be with this person, but it might be beyond both of your abilities to get married for real. :( i’m sorry, i wish the world were kinder.

if the first interpretation doesn’t resonate, then it has something more to do with your stubbornness. everyone wants someone that will take them for exactly who they are. that doesn’t change the fact that no two people are completely perfect for each other, though. every couple starts by taking apart their schedule and fitting the other’s in. tolerating strawberry shortcakes on their partner’s birthday even if they hate strawberries. stopping their work short even if it means that coming back to it will be hard because their partner needs something. advice here is to rethink your mindset. you could be very successful in your career, but if you think you won’t be able to go home to an empty bed, or you know that family is what you want in the future, then see how you can be more considerate to the people around you. we don’t always like to hear this, but being considerate and selfish is a never-ending balancing game, so don’t feel too bad. you’re not a bad person! these things just take time. whichever way you choose, i hope it’s the one that makes you the happiest!

[skiitter]

Also in my roundabout way I would like to request a Lann ficlet, start with angst but make it happy? or just happy. Or just anything because you are a great writer!!

okay so uh this got away from me but here's 3.8k words of lann pining after the commander and being an idiot in love.

He is not staring. He is restringing his longbow after their latest run in with the remaining demons still lingering in the area, that's it. He is absolutely not staring at his two companions huddled together across the fire. He is not watching with rapt, singular focus at their every interaction, seeking answers in her soft words, his sardonic remarks. The Aasimar gestures rudely with his hands, and she laughs loud, the chorus of it echoing through the empty ramparts. When Daeran dips his head low to whisper in her ear, the skin of her neck flushes and Lann forces himself to look away.

He's pretty sure they're sleeping together. It's hard to know for sure, thanks to his complete lack of experience in interpersonal relationships, not to mention his one and only lover having been someone he'd known since birth. Wenduag was a blunt edge of expectation, and Lann always knew exactly what was happening between them. When it comes to the Commander and Daeran, however, he isn't totally sure.

That unknowing, that gray area of wretched hope, is killing him. Falling for her was not on the agenda, seeing as she'll live for hundreds of years and he's lucky if he's got a decade left. Not to mention that she's (probably) gonna save the world and he's just some Mongrel who's legacy won't extend beyond the small role he's played in the crusade. He's never been a glutton for punishment, what with life underground being horrid enough already, but there is a sweet sting in accepting his unrequited love for her that he can't shake. It drives him, despite it's doomed end, to do whatever he can for her fight. If he cannot give her his heart, he will give her his life.

"You're staring," Seelah whispers, her hulking form crouched next to him as she sharpens her longsword.

"Can you blame me? Looking forlornly into the campfire is just one of my many talents."

Seelah chuckles and jerks her head slightly towards the Commander and Daeran. "Oh you're looking forlornly alright, but it's not at the flames. You should talk to her."

"I do talk to her. I talk to her everyday. Are you saying you don't? Honestly Seelah, she's your commander, you--"

"Fine fine, play coy. I'm just saying Lann, we could die at any minute. Do you really not want her to know how you feel?"

Lann swallows, the ugly reminder of mortality and how the sword strung above him dangles far lower than the Commander's tightening the sinew around his heart. "Sh--she doesn't need any more burdens. The Commander's got enough going on, what with that pesky Worldwound thing." He spares one last glance before turning his body away, enduring the biting cold as the heat of the fire leaves his scaled skin. "She doesn't want to deal with a lovesick Mongrel and really, who could blame her?"

"How could you possibly know what she wants if you don't talk to her?"

"Because it's not her wants I'm concerned with, it's her needs. And she needs me to be good ol' reliable Lann. She needs me to shoot my arrows and kill the baddies. She needs--she needs something she can count on and that something is me."

The Abyss happens all at once and it's a miserable experience for them all. Their time in Drezen made him soft, he thinks, because the camp at the Nexus is horrifically uncomfortable. The ground is somehow colder and harder than any other he's slept on and no amount of fire really chases away the shadows.

They spend a significant amount of time in Alushinyrra, and a significant amount of money staying at the Bad Luck Tavern just to avoid the discomforts of the Nexus. It's on one such expensive stay that a group of frankly moronic thugs try and rob the Commander while she sleeps. Her ever-present and ruthlessly protective Velociraptor dispenses them in quick measure, ripping the throat out of the final victim before Lann even has his bow drawn.

Up until that point they'd opted for three rooms, in groups of two, but they downsize to one after the attack. The Commander's life was hardly in danger but playing with fate isn't something she likes to do, chaotic nature be damned. The tavern owner grumbles but, with a golden incentive, allows them to drag one of the other beds into the room so the sleeping arrangements aren't quite so cramped.

Ember curls up into the Commander's side, her sisterly affection having transformed them from companions to near family. Woljif takes the other bed, offering half of it to Regill. The severe gnome answers him with a severe look and Woljif extends the offer to Lann instead. He glances at Daeran but the Aasimar is already tucking himself into the space between the Commander and the wall. With not a small amount of jealousy, Lann resigns himself to his fate and joins Woljif.

A soft rustling pulls him from a restless slumber some time later and Lann wakes just in time to see the Commander whisper something to Regill, who is stationed at the door, before slipping into the hallway with Daeran in tow. He watches them until they vanish and, as he looks away, makes uncomfortable eye-contact with the gnome. Regill's face is as impassive as always, but Lann feels guilty for some reason, like a kid caught with his hand in the rat cage.

"Is this going to be a problem?" Regill asks him as they head out the next morning. Well, not morning since there is no sun or sky or joy in Alushinyrra.

"Hard to say, this city does tend to be a bit on the rough side," Lann responds.

"The Commander has assured me any physical relationships she has with the party aren't going to be a problem." It's not a question but it's not not a question and Lann looks around to make sure the others aren't paying attention.

"We uh, we aren't in a physical relationship?"

"I know."

"Riiiiiight."

"But you want to be, which is arguably worse. So I'll ask you again, is this going to be a problem?"

It occurs to Lann that he should probably do a slightly better job of keeping his apparently obvious feelings on the Commander to himself. "Uh, no. No, it's not." Regill doesn't seem satisfied but then again, when does he ever? "Is uh, I mean, are the Commander and Daeran--"

"I do not gossip," Regill snarls. "Bother the thief with nonsense like that."

Lann does not, in fact, bother the thief with nonsense like that. Instead, he pushes down the swelling of affection he feels at every interaction with the Commander and focuses on the mission. It goes well enough, all things considered, until Savamelekh shows up and nearly kills him.

The demon's revelations are a bit too much for his overtaxed heart to bear and the subsequent bender doesn't help at all. When the Commander finds him, though, he just babbles on about wanting to prove to her he can be what she wants, what she needs, and that she can trust him. "I want to be somebody you can count on. I don't have anything to offer apart from my bow and my dumb jokes....and my life. And they're all yours, if you want them." He glances away, shame and discomfort crushing him from the inside out. "But I doubt you do, not now that I've let you down."

"....I could never turn my back on someone I care about just like that." She's been talking this whole time but it's these words that register hard and fast. Lann stares at her, and she stares back, and the weight of things unsaid on her face is a blessed curse. He forces a smile, bashful but steady, and pulls away from the conversation. It's too much to think about, especially because hope is not his friend, despite its insistence on hanging around.

Later, back at camp, away from everyone but her sharp-eyed Velociraptor, the Commander comes for him. He's not avoiding her, not that he really could thanks to the nature of their new normal in the Abyss, but he's not not avoiding her either. He's sitting at the edge of the cliff, staring out over the sea of fire and the city of demons. She sits beside him, shoulder to shoulder, and they are quiet for a long time.

"Next time I get drunk and come to pour my heart out to you, I'll jot down notes first," he says lightly, glancing at her. Her face is hard to read, not the open expression she'd given him back at the tavern, but he knows her well enough to know she's bothered by something. "I'm kidding of course. I'd never do that -- I don't do notes, I improvise."

"Why do you do that?"

"Improvisation is just one of my many skills, honed from my illustrious life as a Mongrel hunter. Sometimes, you got out to hunt for some rats and end up fighting a--"

"Lann, stop." He does, if only because her tone is firm. "Why do you always demean what you say with humor?"

"I'm....funny like that?"

She scowls at him and her raptor lets out a soft hiss. He's pretty sure they're connected, somehow, because otherwise that would be just plain freaky. "I love that you're funny, Desna knows we need something lighthearted with Regill around, but sometimes I--" She falters, his rocksteady monument of a Commander, and it scares him. "Sometimes I just want you to tell me how you feel."

His heart races, and hope is such a dangerous, cruel thing. "I did tell you how I felt...I meant what I said, back at the tavern. I...I'd do anything for you." The confession settles between them, demanding to be addressed.

"For me, or for the crusade, for the cause?" She's asking him a different question, he thinks.

"I--"

"Because Lann, I--you are--"

"What about Daeran?" He says it in a rush, because he can't handle whatever it is she's trying to confess.

"What about Daeran?"

"Aren't you--ya know--"

"Lann, would you do anything for me or for the crusade? To whom are you pledging your life too? Is it me? I need to know because I cannot carry on like this."

More shame, some more guilt, all for Lann. Of course his unwanted affections made her uncomfortable, of course he took her caring treatment of him to mean more than it was supposed to. He wants to leave, because he also kind of wants to cry. "Commander..."

"Not commander. Lann, please for this moment can I just be a person to you?"

She's crying, for some reason, and he doesn't know what to do. "You're always a person to me. I--you know that."

"To whom do you pledge your life?"

In the end, he knows what's more important. "The--the crusade." Lann knows that she needs to be able to rely on him without thinking he's reading into her every action, her every word. His wants are second to her needs, just as it should be.

Her face crumples, though, and the twist of her mouth breaks his heart. "Right. Okay. Of course." She stands, dusting her robes off and refuses to look him in the eye. Lann realizes immediately that he's said the wrong thing, despite his efforts to do the exact opposite.

"Commander--"

"Have a good night, Lann. Thank you for….thank you for clearing that up."

Her raptor snarls at him when he stands up to stop her and she is gone.

The next day, she announces they are heading deep into the heart of the Abyss. And, for the first time since he followed her out of the dark and into the sun, she leaves him behind.

Six months. Six long, bloody, dangerous months. He runs point with Greybor, struggling to keep the Commander's hoard of refugees safe, and spends each watch with Solsiel, pointedly not talking about their missing leader.

Several times the idea of her death comes up and he stops fighting against it. He's pretty sure they'd leave but there is no where to go. Groups of demons hunt them for sport and it's a miracle he's able to keep himself in one piece. Nenio is insufferable. Seelah is too positive. He misses Ember, and Wolfji. He misses Regill and his cold practicality. He misses the Commander and the smile she used to shoot him when he'd struck down an enemy in their path.

Eventually, it's just the five of them left. Every other life she'd saved has been systematically eradicated by the horrors of the Abyss. Still, they wait because what else are they supposed to do?

She returns, of course, because she's more myth than woman these days. What was six horrific months in hell for those left behind, was less than two weeks for them. Two weeks. The Commander doesn't cry when she sees the devastation that's been wrought in the wake of her absence. Her left hand trembles, but she stays strong. Just as quickly as they'd come, she shows them the way home.

Drezen is in shambles and it takes another week just to kill the demon forces that have taken their city. In that week, she treats him as warmly as she does Greybor. That is to say, her polite indifference is breaking him.

As things return to normal, and he contends with the loss of his tribe, Lann considers what to do. He's messed up, somehow, and he's spent six months worrying over it. He's pretty sure she wanted him to admit that it was to her he swore his life. He's pretty sure he knows why. A (admittedly short) life spent hunting for things unseen and he completely missed the things she'd tried to say.

He misses her feverishly. She's busy, daily, managing the shambles left of her crusade armies after the Queen had her way with them. The party has yet to leave Drezen since returning and Daeran has yet to leave the Commander's side. Lann feels replaced, usurped, and he cannot take it anymore.

Her door is shut, but there is candlelight spilling out underneath. Before the courage leaves him, he knocks and calls out her name.

"Lann?" She opens the door and he's half expecting to see Daeran, arrogant and naked, sprawled across her bed. Instead it's just her, exhausted and anxious, looking at him with a guarded expression. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, ya know, just everything." He tries for humorous but it comes out pathetic and they both frown. "Can I--can I come in?"

She steps aside, allowing him entrance. He's never been here, in all his time in Drezen, and while he's not totally sure what he expected, it's still a surprise. Her quarters are small, smaller than the house she'd given him upon their initial taking of the city. The desk is covered in maps and missives, and her gear is in a pile by the door. The raptor has a bed, set up beside her own, and Lann is pretty sure it looks far more comfortable than the Commander's. There is nowhere to sit so they both just stand there, awkward and uncomfortable, as she closes the door.

"What's going on? Have you heard from the clan?"

That particular sting of worry rolls over him and Lann shakes his head to push it away. "No, not yet. All quiet on the Mongrel front."

"I'm sorry, Lann." She reaches out for a moment, as if to comfort him, but stops herself short. "We'll find them, I promise."

"I didn't come here to talk about the clan."

"Okay."

"Boy, is this awkward. Uhm," he clears his throat to buy time. "Do you remember that last conversation we had?"

Her expression becomes an echo of the one she wore that night. "I do."

"I uh, I would like to do it over again."

The Commander narrows her eyes. "Why?"

Lann runs a hand through his hair, and stares at the wall beside her because if he looks at her, he'll fall apart. "I think I messed it up."

"Lann, you don't have to do this."

"Yeah, I kinda do."

She shakes her head. "It's okay I know that--what you said it's--we're fine."

"You were gone for six months, ya know. Six shitty, ugly months. You've never left me behind before." It's not an accusation but she flinches anyway. "I had a lot of time to think. Not a lot else to do, really. Well, aside from entertaining Nenio and rejecting Camellia's frankly terrifying propositions."

"She asked to sleep with you?" The Commander is suddenly furious and Lann is shameless in how warm her indignation makes him feel.

"Well, not in so many words and really, I'm kind of dense, but sneaking into my bed at night was--"

"Did she hurt you?"

"I--what?"

"Did she hurt you?"

"I--I don't know what you think sex with a Mongrel is like--"

"You slept together?" Her fury simmers down and turns her face cold.

"No! This isn't about that. I don't want to talk about Camellia. It was only once and--no. She didn't--we--nothing happened."

"You could--"

"Commander, excuse the insubordination here, but please shut up. This isn't easy and I'm losing my nerve." She frowns, but stays silent. "I want to change my answer."

"To what question?"

"To the one you asked me that night. I lied."

"What?" The inflection is too hopeful and Lann forces himself to look at her.

"It's not for the crusade or the cause or the world. It's--it's for you. My life, I mean. I'm pledging it to you. I misread things, I didn't understand what you meant. I--my life, my bow, my dumb jokes, it's yours." He struggles not to fidget, or downplay what he's saying with humor. She's staring at him, and she's crying but this time he knows why. "And my heart. If--if you want it. It's yours."

"Lann," she whispers and closes the gap between them. Her hands come up to cup the sides of his face, and they are trembling. It's a perfect match to his own shaking nerves. "Are you sure?"

He laughs, and it's watery. "It's hardly something precious to me. It's just all I have to give you and--and well really, it's already yours."

"How long?"

"Ugh no, the last thing you need to know is how long I've been pining over you."

"It was the Gargoyle attack for me, the one at the camp." She confesses it so easily, and he's rendered speechless. "When it was you that came to find me and tell me everyone was taken, my very first thought was relief; relief because they didn't take you." She presses her forehead to his own, their noses brushing. "From the moment we left for Colyphyr, I regretted leaving you behind. I could barely focus for the first few days because I was so worried about you. Every day I woke up, expecting to see you, to talk to you, and you weren't there and it was my fault. I was so mad at myself for letting my stupid feelings get in the way but the thought of having you near and knowing you'd never want me that way it--" her voice breaks and he wraps his arms around her, holding her tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I should have realized what you were asking, I--"

"No, I'm sorry," She pulls back to look at him. "I'm so sorry I didn't just come right out and ask you how you felt. I was just scared, scared of rejection and what I would do if you said no."

"I would never--I love you." He reddens from ear to tail and he immediately wants to take it back.

Her eyes widened. "You do?"

"Well, I didn't really want to just come out and say it. I was hoping for a little more romance. Some candles, maybe a rat shaped pastry or two. We could probably get someone to play--"

"I love you, too." She captures his mouth with her own before he can stumble over anymore words and Lann relents happily to her efforts. She kisses him like he's always wanted to kiss her, all passion and tenderness, and disgustingly sincere affection. Their arms wind around one another and she pulls him to her bed.

Lann stops her. "We don't have too, really. I know I'm not exactly easy to look at--"

"Lann. I’m only going to say this once, so pay attention.” She sets him down beside her and once more takes his face in her hands. “Don’t you ever, ever talk about yourself that way again, okay? I love you, all of you, every bit and I want you, in any and every way you’ll let me.” She kissed him again, softly. “We don’t have to rush into anything, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Just--just please know that, regardless of what you’ve been told, you’re beautiful and--and I will happily take you to bed every night.”

“Just to bed?” He aims for suggestive and, every bit the archer, he strikes true. “But there are so many other places I wish to be taken.”

“We’ll have a veritable world tour of it, but for now, can I have you here? Because this is all I’ve thought about for months and if I don’t fulfill that fantasy, I may die.”

“Regill would have my head for that.”

“He is possibly the least sexy person you could bring up at this point in time.”

Lann crowds into her, forcing her backwards until he has her pinned beneath him. “Imagine the report I’d have to write: Knight-Commander of the Fifth Crusade dies because local Mongrel fails to fulfill her sexual fantasies.” He kisses her once before moving his attention down the breadth of her jawline, and onto her neck. Her breath hitches, pressing her body up into his. “Good thing that’ll never happen because I’m a terrible writer.”

“Lann,” it’s nearly a whine, only just, but it’s enough to make him shudder, “please.” He’s always been excellent at following orders and there is no reason to stop now. Whatever she needs, he thinks, whatever she asks, he’ll give. It’s a scary thought, but it’s the only one he’s had for it feels like his whole life. Her hands snake across the skin of his chest, pulling at his armor with frantic hands. “Let me see you. Let me touch you.”

He relents, and soon they are but a tangled mess of limbs. It’s nothing like he’s known, but he’s ruined forever now. He’s hers, like he has been since that serendipitous moment beneath the ruins of Kenabres, and to his unbelievable shock and surprise, she is his.

[raebayhc]

Girls Night Out

PART TWO!!!

warnings: smut, oral sex (f), fingering, public sex acts, car sex, use of alcohol, manipulation

word count: 2070

summary: you along with your groups of friends decide to have a girls' night for the first time in a while, things get heated and your friends end up taking turns using your body.

series: part 1 (more parts to come)

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Finally making your way through the crowd you make it back to the group of girls who had already begun to drink. Mikasa’s hand finds purchase on your waist as she pulls you closer to hand you a drink “it’s fruity, you’ll like it” Mikasa knew you weren’t a heavy drinker but when you did drink you preferred fruitier things, you giggled at the thought of her ordering something so girly with the sole intent on giving it to you. You happily took the drink from her hand giving her a warm smile, taking a sip she watches your reaction as your face lights up “holy shit mik- this is awesome” she takes a sip of her rich colored drink “let me taste” you obliged as you held your glass up for her, she goes to hand you her drink but you decline “no thanks, that stuff tastes like rat poison.. I’m better off with my drink from paradise” you laugh, she lets out a small chuckle at your cuteness “just try it y/n I promise it’s not that bad”.. “Ughhhhhh fiiiiiine only because it’s you mik” you reply hesitantly. You both lift your drinks to the mouth of the other, not breaking eye contact you take a sip, and as does she, almost as if it was planned yall both swallow squint grunt then let out a small cough a visual representation of how yall felt about each other’s drinks “how do you drink this shit?? Bleh” Mikasa spits out “it’s better than the jet fuel you have in this glass” you shiver out.

The night goes on and all of the ladies are around the bar talking, yall somehow landed on your childhood and how yall used to run around outside all day and play in the woods behind your neighborhood. Mikasa continues to tell the story of how yall have matching scars on the same place at the top of your inner thigh from when yall collided bikes one time as if she needed proof she lifted your skirt to look at the scar, a reminder maybe, “see! Told yall it really happened and I have the same exact one too!” she lets your skirt back down and the girls disperse throughout the building, some dancing, some talking to guys for potential hookups. You and mik still at the bar talking. She cuts your sentence short “wait actually let me see your scar again I think it shrunk” without getting confirmation from you she lifts your skirt and underestimating the length it would take for her to reach the scar she overshot and instead of rubbing the scar she rubs the thigh right against one of your folds, a small whimper falls out of your throat, you didn’t mean to let it out it just kind of happened. Your stomach drops, her eyes dart up to your face, a deep blush forming that you can’t control. She cocks an eyebrow at you and slowly begins to move her hand up closer and closer to your sex, your grip on the bar counter becoming tighter “mik what the fuck are you doing” you spit out through gritted teeth. “I haven’t stopped thinking about earlier… yah know when we basically kissed in the theatre, I haven’t gotten you out of my mind since.” her words lit a flame in you, not only because of how seductive they were but because you were definitely attracted to her, you always have been but you would never dare to speak on it.

“I’ve kept this to myself for far too long don’t you think?” she asks, not able to push out any words fearing you would instead release a moan you nod, your eyebrows scrunched on your forehead, your bottom lip tucked between your teeth, eyes glossy, nipples erect and visible through your thin shirt….. She couldn’t help herself. Slipping a finger into your underwear she groans at how wet you already are “all this… for me baby?” she purrs into your ear. “Mik…. we’re at a bar, there are people everywhere… please..” you whine out, she replies with a simple “trust me”, grabbing your jaw and forcing you to face her she grabs her drink opens your mouth and pours it in “spit it out or swallow it and you’ll regret it” you wince and nod your head obediently “good girl” she purrs.

Now basically crumbling under her touch your thighs are shaky, breathing erratic as you can only breath through your nose due to the rich liquid sheltered in your mouth. She positions her fingers to shape a gun, she then points her ‘hand gun’ at you and ‘pulls the trigger’ taking that same position she pushes into you, knowing you would react to this she lets out a loud cough to cover your moan, thank goodness she did. You’re vocal she likes that. Now pushing in and out of you she takes her left hand and grabs your neck then pulls you to kiss, her tongue prodding at your lips signaling you to open for her, the deep liquid flows into her mouth dripping down your chins, she swallows the liquid but remains in contact with your face against her occasionally biting or sucking on your lip. You knew there were definitely going to be marks later but you didn’t care, this was pure bliss and just the thought of Mikasa getting aroused by this was enough to send you over the edge, your vision gone blurry, your body shaking, reaching your climax. You droop your head down breathing heavy, worried she had crossed a line Mikasa lifted your head only to see a blissful fucked out expression, eyes hazy, drool falling down your chin, your mouth in a slight smirk, tears threatening to fall. “Oh, shit” she mumbles now fully aware of the effect you have on her.

Removing her fingers from under your skirt she dips her fingers in your drinks and encourages you to take them in your mouth which you do without a fight, a low groan escapes your lips as you taste the sweet and salty mixture of your juices, her sweat, and your ‘drink from paradise’ on her digits. Pulling her fingers out with a loud ‘pop’ she pulls a napkin from under her drink and wipes them off. Still recovering from the previous climax you sit there catching your breath, Mikasa’s hand finds its way to the small of your back, she leans into your neck giving you small pecks then comes up to your ear and nibbles on it a bit “.... y’know… there’s so much more I want to do to you.. Bee.” your skin shivers at the name she had given you when yall were in the sixth grade after you got chased by a bee into a creek, you hadn’t heard it in years… she really was something.

You only had one drink so you were nowhere near tipsy, sober as can be….. Unfortunately that cant be said for some of the other ladies. Ymir, Sasha, and Hitch were all out of it fortunately enough you, mikasa, and historia were all sober so yall could drive, you decide to take responsibility for hitch and drive her to the barn. You put her arm around your shoulder “shit. Why the fuck are you so heavy hitch, youre tiny” you spit out struggling to support her weight on you as you walk her to the car “h- hey-*hiccup* hey. Im not heavy I just had done a cartwheel sometimes earlier when she asked me to”. Yup. she’s out of if you think, you’re on the road and on the way to Sasha’s family barn when hitch yells at you to pull into an empty parking lot so she can get air a possibly throw up. Y’know the basic drunk shenanigans. You pull over to what seems to be a deserted parking lot with a raccoon and some dead bushes “okay hitch hurry up” “yeah yeah I’m going I’m going” she seems to have sobered up a bit.. *click* the passenger door opens and the car lights come on “hurry up they’re wai-” you’re cut off by the image in front of you. Wearing nothing but her underwear hitch had removed all of her clothing including her bra revealing her numerous piercings including a belly button and nipple piercings, not only that but she had one hand down her panties moving around doing what you assume is masturbating and her other hand squeezing her nipple “mmph please..please.. Help me will you pretty girl?” butterflies filled your stomach “what’re you-”

Hitch climbs halfway in with her hand on the middle console and one of her knees on the passenger seat, grabbing the collar of your shirt she pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, your grip on the wheel loosens as you lose yourself in the kiss, not only that but you notice she doesn’t taste of alcohol, not even the slightest bit. In fact, you remember about a month ago when she said she was gonna stop drinking and when yall were in the club you only saw her with cans of soda when you did happen to catch a peek of her.. Was she- “faking?” your thoughts cut off by her sudden comment “you know you’re really easy to read y/n, I can tell what’s going on in that pretty little brain of yours honey.” “so were you? Faking I mean.” you say in a confused tone as if you were trying to piece it all together yourself “yeahhhhh sorry but I had to get you alone somehow, don’t think I didn’t notice how Mikasa and historia were all over you tonight, it wasn’t rocket science to figure out they probably fucked you..and to be honest I’ve thought about us together. So please… have me?” she takes your hand and shoves it down her panties, black and lacey, you retract your hand and look at her without saying anything. Worried she might have done something wrong she begins “oh my god I got the wrong idea y/n I’m so so sor-” “get in the back” you cut her off.

Climbing in the back she waits on instructions from you, you join her in the back. You position yourself on top of her laying her head on the back door, you scan over her helpless body so small and fragile under your touch, starting by kissing her breasts leaving marks on the sides of them you move down to her torso. Giving sweet and soft kisses occasionally leaving a hickey or two, you make it down to her covered pussy, kissing above the lacey garment you tease her. “Please y/n please please please I can’t” she begs “I got it I got it” you pull her underwear to the side she releases a sigh of relief not long after followed a scream of pleasure as you plunge your face into her sex, lapping up whatever juices are flowing and gently sucking on the bundle of nerves at the top. “N-not so.. fast y/n... I won’t… I won’t last!!” she manages out through broken whimpers and cries, which only encourages you to break her even more, make her cry out an orgasm, make her the best little pet you could ask for. You stick a ring and middle finger inside of her while your mouth focuses on her clit, not that pushes her over the edge. Her mind blanks and all she can see is white, you speed up to enhance her orgasm, you’re then met with the strong bursts of fluid that fall from her. “She’s a squirter huh” you think to yourself hungrily lapping up as many juices as possible, “mmhmm y/n y/n y/n ahh please you’re so-” her body twitches “you’re so amazing mmm”. You remove your fingers and place her panties back where they belong, sitting up adoring her aroused figure you spit out “you think you’d top me huh?” followed by a cheeky grin and a condescending giggle.

The car lights up and a ring echoes “Ymir” flashes on the dashboard “incoming call”...

THE EEENNNDDD pt.2

AHHHHHH IM SO OVERWHELMED BY THE POSITIVITY AND LOVELY FEEDBACK I LOVE YALL AWHHHH!!! I will continue to write and upload for this series!! Thank you for the patience *muah*

[arcana-greenleaf]

Heyy! Thank you so much for doing this exchange with me! I'm super excited, anyways here's info and may I please be matched with Finnick from the hunger games and Dally from the outsiders? Tysm in advance and here we go!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. Honesty at this point in my life I don't really have a style....i've kinda given up on how I look lmao. I just kinda pick out some random clothes like a band t-shirt and some tight jeans. Although I do wear this one Adidas jacket a lot and a nice pair of combat boots.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends.

I have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it. Some people have also told me that I lack empathy....which I guess they aren't wrong....T_T

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting. I also have lots of intrusive thoughts lol so sometimes i'll just be sitting there quietly and I'll just start laughing like a weirdo......i'm a big dork honestly. I also do that weird thing where i'm sitting down and I'll just be bouncing my leg....idk why I do it....I just do....and I also run my fingers through my hair a lot, thats why its always messy. Sometimes when i'm bored I space out and i'll chew on my lip or the side of gum...I need to stop I know but its hard to....

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lincoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything. I also love trying new things like skate boarding, playing guitar, learning how to cook things and bake.

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider....like seriously I will move to the moon if one touches me.

Hey! Thank you for doing this with me.This exchange was so fun to do and I hope you like this. It was really nice talking to you <3

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐃𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬

he likes that you're shorther than him and anytime you two are standing somewhere he'll lean on you or when he hugs you from behind he'll put his head on yours

you cannot tell me this man wouldn't enjoy messing up your hair as a sign of affection

you and your adidas jacket + dally in his leather jacket = iconic

hm you met when he started bothering you and your friend in the park so you put him in his place

when dally first saw you he thought you were pretty but what made him come up and talk to you was your resting bitch face (he loves a challenge)

the most chaotic couple™, you guys are always up to something stupid and probably dangerous khm the Tulsa police knows you guys very well khm

this boy is bad with emotions resulting in him being awkward and not knowing how to help you, over time you two can help each other get better + learn to express your feelings

at first he made fun of the way you pronounce some words again this is him showing affection i mean he still does it sometimes but like he's the one to talk

this man smokes too much but you don't mind, will blow smoke in your face for no reason

when you bounce your leg he'll put his hand on your thigh

HORROR MOVIE NIGHTS

big spoon when cuddling

his hands are always around your waist if you don't mind

you try to teach him how to cook but he'll probably give up after making a huge mess in the kitchen

of course he gives you his ring

your zodiac sign are compatible so that's always a plus

killing spiders for you while laughing his ass off

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬: 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤

having his hand on your thighs all the time

finnick adores your freckles and kisses all of them

he doesn't care what you wear because to him you are always cute simp

for some reason he'll randomly ask you if he can brush and braid your hair

finnick likes your jokes and you guys have too many inside jokes, someone will say something and you two just look at each other before laughing making the third person be like ????

i feel he would be very protective so every time you hurt yourself he makes sure everything is fine no matter how much you try to brush him off

he always notices when you're not doing well and/or hiding your true emotions, tries to help in any way without being overbearing

why do i feel he would pick up the way you pronounce words and start pronouncing them that way himself without realizing

if he notices you chewing on your lips he'll offer you some gum or candy

randomly eating sugar cubes and sometimes offering them to you

really caring, would kill to keep you safe

flirting 24/7

cuddles all the time

adores holding your hand and doing that thumb thing

BEACH DATES, swimming competitions

i think this man can cook really well so you two work well in the kitchen

dancing in the rain

just like dally he'll kill any spider that tries approaching his darling

idk i just think finnick is kinda cool on the outside but the softest being on the inside especially for you

sure he is seductive to everyone but you're the only woman in his life