#inferior ne

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi! I’ve read a lot of your posts, especially your ones about the inferior functions which was really informative to me. (Thank you!). I am fairly sure that I am an XSTJ type. I was wondering if you could give your insight on which one you think is more likely? I can’t figure out the order of the functions but I think I use Si Te Ne and Fi. Sorry this is kind of long.

For background on my Fi section - I have recently had some problems in a workplace — bullying/unsafe practice/poor management. It escalated and fell apart in a big way (I got screwed over basically lol) and I eventually made the tough decision to leave for my own well-being. I had been involved with the company for 2 years and gave everything I had to that company. It was my dream job and I worked so hard for it. And I worked so hard for my degree too. My friends and family and even colleagues told me it wasn’t my fault and they would’ve quit too and they told me I handled it well. I feel like I defined myself on my work. I was so proud of my … success? I guess. I don’t even know.

This first part I have this sort of recurring issue in my life where something goes wrong at work for example and I start feeling this way when normally i’m fairly level headed and ambitious. I think it’s Fi, and maybe inferior? I thought I was an ISTJ but your description of inferior Fi really landed with me lol.

It’s like I’m having some sort of existential crisis. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or maybe I never did. I question everything about myself. I am trying so hard to figure out what matters to me and I can’t. I don’t know where to go in life. I’m so emotional for no reason. I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I’m pushing my friends and family away because I’m embarrassed that I had to leave my job. I’ve isolated myself from everyone. I feel so irritable all the time and I hate it. I feel like I failed.

People close to me have told me I need to stop being so hard on myself but I don’t know how. I feel like I’m wasting my time and my life by being so emotional. It’s so incredibly frustrating. It’s not like me, usually I bounce back and try again but this has really shaken me up. I feel like I should ‘follow my heart’ so I can be happy and fulfilled but I don’t even know what I want and I’m wasting time trying to decide, the more time passes the more restless I feel. I’m so scared of getting old and dying with regrets about the way I’ve lived my life. I think I’m also scared of not being able to make my family proud or make myself proud. I’m so torn and lost. I don’t know how to stop defining myself and my worth on like … working lmao.

More generally, I think I can get stuck in patterns where I worry excessively about my values and who I really am. It happens maybe a couple times a year lmao. But I also think I usually do know my values? There are things I don’t tolerate and have no patience for and like I wouldn’t change my mind on it cos it’s one of my core values. Like, bullying/injustice/unfairness etc. So I don’t know if my Fi is inferior. I have a lot of feelings, I just usually like to avoid them but I’m getting better at dealing with them on a day to day basis, unless something happens like my work drama. I don’t share my feelings with people easily cos I don’t like feeling vulnerable. I know it’s like a necessary part of the human experience though.

When I was in my teens I went to therapy and didn’t cry in therapy for years lol. Every time I almost cried I stopped talking and pushed it down until I could continue. They always told me it’s okay to cry but I always told them I hate crying cos it makes me feel weak. I’ve grown up some since then lol and i know crying or emotion isn’t a weakness. Logically I know that and would never consider someone else weak for crying or expressing emotion. I think it’s a good thing and healthy. Still, I struggle to stop seeing it that way in myself and always beat myself up when I know I shouldn’t. It’s one of my biggest struggles in life. I do cry in front of some people now though hahaha. (And then feel v embarrassed later!) lol.

For Ne, I have a tendency to catastrophize and assume the worst. Like, if one of my family members goes out for a drive and doesn’t text me when I know they should have arrived at the destination by now. I start to think something bad must have happened to them and I start panicking.

It used to be way worse when I was younger and I did it with everything. Car trips, plane rides, being picked up late from school, etc. Maybe that’s just anxiety tho? I tend to prepare for the worst because I don’t like getting caught off guard. I’m known for being a worry-er in my family lol. I worry about everyone. I heard that like imagining multiple worst scenarios for a situation can be low/ inferior Ne.

I think I can use Ne sometimes though. I’m bad at mind mapping and stuff like that, it doesn’t come naturally but I’m good at planning holidays and coming up with ideas of places to go or things to do/see. I get excited about stuff like that, and I like thinking about the future and possibilities of things I could do. I just tend to be more focused on like my life in the here-and-now. And I have to try pretty hard to think in that big expansive mind-map way lol. I sucked at doing mind maps in school.

I think I’m maybe a Si user, because I don’t think I’d even exist without memories. Everything I do and see and experience is for and guided by my memories. Idk though that’s probably true for everyone, do individual people even exist without their memories? it’s like, what makes us unique. There’d be hardly any difference between people if it weren’t for their memories and experiences. Everything i’ve ever done, ever seen, smelled, touched, tasted or heard has made me who I am. I can’t go anywhere without being reminded of the experiences and connections i’ve had before. It’s just intrinsic to who I am. Part of the reason I love music is just the way it can bring you back to an exact moment in time and you can relive it like you’re there. It’s the way I navigate the world I think. I know what to do because i’ve seen it before and if I haven’t then i research to figure out how. I can’t just do things with no preparation.

Te — I think it’s maybe Aux or not dominant because i find it hard to think about how I use it lol, I just do. but idk I’ll try. I rely heavily on data and facts and statistics. I won’t believe anything without proof. I won’t make a claim if I can’t back it up with reliable evidence. I care about efficiency, I like things to be done and done right lol. I often end up doing things myself in group projects and organising the work + delegating tasks to everyone else. When I was studying I organised like all the group work cos otherwise nothing got done lol. And I usually ended up editing and cutting it together at the end so I could make sure it was coherent and looked good.

I like to help my family organise their life admin stuff because I’m good at it. I plan holidays cos I’m good at it, I know how to make a plan that makes sense and works. I research where things are in relation to each other so I can make an itinerary that gets the most done each day with the least amount of time wasted on travelling from A to B etc. I was good at making step by step plans for essay writing at uni and then followed them to get it done. I love writing to do lists for myself and using schedules. I can’t work without a to do list or a schedule lol i write one like every day. Even when I had jobs where I did the same thing every day I wrote a list to keep me on track.

When my friends have their lives falling apart they usually come to me to help them with a game plan lol. Sometimes I do get overwhelmed and stressed, but I feel like in serious crisis situations I’m usually able to put aside any feelings and just get shit done. I’ve had family medical emergencies on my hands before or a loved one getting evicted before and have managed to just go into action mode and deal with the problem first and then feel however i feel about what happened a few days later lmao. Feelings get in the way in situations like that imo and there’s no time for it when shit is hitting the fan. I can be bossy sometimes in moments like that but usually apologise later and people understand that I was just dealing w the problem at hand lol and my bossiness wasn’t personal.

I just thought of an example of what I think is me using Te. There was one time where I was with my mum and brother. Somehow a chemical got spilled on the tiles, was left there overnight and kinda destroyed them. My mum was like absolutely devastated and got so emotional and angry, she was blaming herself and also thinking we would have to spend a lot of money to get it fixed and then regretting buying the house in the first place because it has these tiles haha like she was so upset, my brother was mostly just standing there looking concerned and trying to calm her down. I had no idea how to clean chemicals off that type of of tile nor what to do to fix it when it was destroyed by chemicals.

The most obvious and simple solution to me was to just google what to do and find out. (and part of me was surprised that they hadn’t done it yet lmao). So I did that, found out what kind of tiles they were and how to clean off the chemical without making it worse etc. (checked a few different sources to make sure it was reliable info) And then I told them what I’d read and suggested we try it. And then i told everyone what we needed to get and what we needed to do and the 3 of us got to work lmao. And the tiles looked sooo much better after. Everyone stopped freaking out and it was fine, we ended up having fun cleaning the tiles together lol. And then my mum and brother were like ‘good job!’ and were thanking me. I remember thinking it was kinda silly to thank me for that cos I barely did anything to be thanked for, like I literally couldn’t imagine going about that situation in any other way. it was the only thing to do that made sense.

Anyway ok I’m gonna leave it here. If you read this far thank you so much for your time. I’d be grateful for your opinion but I also understand you get a lot of asks like this so I get it if not! Thanks again!

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All type assessment requests must follow the instructions on the contact page carefully. You must answer all the questions from the Function Theory Guide for every function of the two stacks you are comparing. It is especially important to address all the points meticulously when you are comparing two very similar types like ISTJ and ESTJ.

Since you didn't follow the instructions properly, the info you provided isn't enough for me to draw any firm conclusion about your type. The most I can say is that nothing you've brought up makes me doubt ISTJ. What you seem to believe is inferior Fi (grip) isn't very convincing to me so far. You also mention receiving therapy and did not specify the reason, but that would be a very important clue for determining unhealthy aspects of your function use.

About the existential crisis: There's nothing wrong with taking pride in your work. As an individual, you have the freedom to decide how much to value work among all the other things in your life. While it's important to know and honor your values, in the real world, you don't have the time, energy, or resources to value everything equally. There are no perfect decisions, no such thing as "having it all". When you choose one path, other paths become unavailable to you. Practical limitations and constraints force you into valuing some things more than others, and you have to make some difficult trade-offs in order to keep life moving forward.

Every trade-off you make will have its up and down sides. The downside to devoting so much of yourself to career is that you will be prone to feeling some form of devastation when things go wrong in that area of your life. Similarly, the stay-at-home parent who identifies too strongly with being a parent will suffer some form of devastation when the kids grow up and move out. The price of living a life fully engaged with what you're doing is feeling a sense of loss or grief when it inevitably ends.

Every trade-off you make in life has consequences. You might not feel them right away, but they will come eventually. How do you deal with them? There are a variety of possibilities:

"Diversification": Make your trade-offs wisely so that you mitigate the impact of the consequences. For example, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Have other equally valid ways of defining your identity. However, this means spreading yourself more thinly.

"Commitment": Follow through with your decisions to the very end. Take full responsibility for the trade-offs you make, which means fully embracing the consequences incurred. In other words, accept the reality of your situation and keep moving along.

"Change": Perhaps the devastation was a sign that you need to do things differently or make different choices. Enact the change that is required to avoid suffering the same sort of devastation again.

"Reframe": Look at your devastation from various angles. Is there a different way to find meaning in it? For example, perhaps you're blowing the situation out of proportion? The problem wasn't that you failed? The problem was you were working for a company with terrible leadership that did not allow you to flourish? Therefore, the lesson isn't to quit the work and give up your identity, but to quit the company and find a better company that truly appreciates your talent and devotion. Or start your own company with full control over how it operates.

You mention recurring issues with managing feelings and emotions. It seems to stem from a tendency to interpret situations much more negatively than is warranted, which leads you to get trapped in the most negative perspective available. The stubborn refusal to see your experiences differently even when others point out how wrong you are might be indicative of Si+Fi loop. The lack of open-mindedness, in terms of not being able to acknowledge or generate alternative viewpoints, might be indicative of inferior Ne. ESTJs are usually more mentally flexible than that and also much more willing to rationalize away their failures, which doesn't fit with your tendency to feel excessively responsible, embarrassed, and ashamed for everything.

Thus, there is compelling evidence that Te+Ne development is required for getting out of the (Si+Fi) mental trap, which suggests that your extraverted funcitons are the weaker pair. It sounds like the most logical way out of the existential crisis is to take control of your life and start a new chapter, to find a place where you can feel both fulfilled and appreciated. Are you resisting proper use of Te? If so, perhaps you need to reflect on why.

[bat-the-misfit]

i only know two Ni doms irl but they're both driving me crazy

[svbhuman]

i feel sick thinking about source again when will it end !

[ficmeouttahere]

i think i'm so obssessed with hotch cause he has a work mentality that I could never have but with the same strong guiding morals

obviously i need to understand how his mind works

[rideretremando]

"STATO PENALE DI POLIZIA

Ieri sera la camera dei deputati ha approvato a larghissima maggioranza il Ddl 1660, col quale senza troppi giri di parole, si istituisce in Italia lo stato di polizia.

🔴 Il blocco stradale e quindi gli scioperi diventano reato penale con condanne fino a 2 anni di carcere;

🔴 le proteste in carcere o nei Cpr possono essere punite col carcere fino a 20 anni;

🔴 idem per chi protesta contro le grandi opere;

🔴 Anche la "propaganda" delle lotte è punibile fino a 6 anni, essendo considerata "terrorismo della parola";

🔴carcere fino a 7 anni per chi occupa una casa sfitta o solidarizza con le occupazioni;

🔴 Fino a 15 anni per resistenza attiva

🔴 Fino a 4 anni per resistenza passiva (nuovo reato, ribattezzato "anti-Ghandi")

🔴 Facoltà per forze dell'ordine di detenere una seconda arma personale al di fuori di quella di ordinanza e al di fuori del servizio.

🔴 Carcere immediato anche per le madri incinte o con figli di età inferiore a un anno

🔴 Dulcis in fundo, si vieta agli immigrati senza permesso di soggiorno finanche l'uso del cellulare, vincolando l'acquisto della SIM al possesso del permesso.

Tutto ciò col silenzio complice delle "opposizioni parlamentari", le quali al di là di un voto contrario puramente di bandiera non hanno mosso un dito per contrastare realmente le nuove leggi "fascistissime", peggiorative rispetto allo stesso codice Rocco.

Anzi: su circa 160 parlamentari, al momento del voto a Montecitorio l'"opposizione" ne aveva in aula soltanto 91!!!

Non solo: prima della votazione finale del Ddl, PD e 5 stelle hanno presentato alcuni ordini del giorno (recepiti dal governo) che impegnavano quest' ultimo ad incrementare la spesa per assumere nuovi agenti di polizia e di guardie penitenziarie: l'ennesima riprova di come, al di la di qualche sfumatura, nella sostanza siano tutti uniti nella direzione di un inasprimento dei dispositivi repressivi, funzionale alla guerra e all'economia di guerra, cioè di fatto all'introduzione di una vera e propria legge marziale!

Ora la parola passa al senato, il quale sicuramente approverà in tempi brevi questa ignobile ed infame legge.

Sosteniamo la Rete Liberi di Lottare- fermiamo insieme il Ddl 1660."

Nadia Urbinati

[smokingago]

L' immagine è pesante?

Ma sai cosa ritrae?

Questa arte ritrae le donne che amano avventurarsi con uomini di cattiva natura, i più delinquenti, i più violenti

il famoso ′′ lupo cattivo "

Ma sai perché?

Perché è rischioso, dà più adrenalina, è più esaltante

queste donne accettano di essere trattate come piano B

accettano di essere usate solo per sesso e pensano che sia fantastico

ma ne sai il risultato?

innumerevoli figli senza padre, numerose madri single di età inferiore ai 18 anni e molte più violenze subite.

E dove sono gli uomini romantici?

I pochi rimasti vengono decimati da donne che dicono che il romanticismo è nel passato

che il penis grande è meglio dei fiori e che andare a ballare è meglio di una cena a lume di candela...

Viviamo in un mondo in cui essere drogati è attraente e camminare semi nuda è sinonimo di bellezza.

Sarò un romantico eterno e fanculo questa generazione, dove la lussuria parla più forte dell'amore.

Vicenzo Liberti, pagina Facebook Smoke

[infiniteetcetera]

The recent discourse of “Cassian/Nesta don’t make sense as mates from a power standpoint” is so interesting (and true) but I also find it interesting that I don’t think there really is any other SJM world mates that parallel Cassian/Nesta?? Like there’s nothing about them that reads as mates to me. Whether you like them or not, Feysand, Rowaelin, Elucien, and Quinlar all make perfect sense to me as mates (even if it’s not in a romance sense but in like a powers/fantasy bond/parallels sense) The only SJM couple that comes close to Nessian in terms of parallels for me is (Nessian stans turn away now) Azriel/Mor.

There are actually a lot of interesting parallels here on the surface/in terms of scenes. I give you examples:

• Mor yanking her hand away from Az and Cassian yanking his hand away from Nesta, even though the action shows incredible (rare) vulnerability from Az/Nesta.

• The entire Cauldron/end of ACOMAF scene, Cassian’s reactions to Nesta being hurt and Azriel’s reactions to Mor getting hurt are the same.

• A complete lack of understanding for one another despite their connection?? Cassian and Nesta are almost never on the same page and Mor and Azriel still fail to understand each other after 500 years of friendship.

•Choosing Rhys/orders over each other, specifically when it matters most.

•The way Mor describes Azriel’s feelings of inadequacy and feeling undeserving of her are exactly how Nesta describes her feelings for Cassian and not being good enough for him (also neither Cas/Mor has ever told the other they’re wrong for feeling that way).

•Despite their own disregard of the others feelings, Cassian/Mor demonstrate a similar weird possessiveness over Nesta/Azriel, in particular i’m thinking of Cassians reaction to Neris (even though Nesta doesn’t even like Eris) and Mor’s reaction to Elriel (like you’re a Lesbian girl why do you care who Az is flirting with)

•A surface level parallel of powers that implies a subservience that isn’t normal with mating bonds (where powers are meant to compliment each other, even if one is slightly more powerful.) For example, Nesta’s power is death and Cassian is a war general (who delivers death, but is inherently subservient to it) and Mor’s power is “truth” while Azriel is an interrogator with a knife called truth teller (again sort of subservient to the idea and pursuit of truth, not equal to it)

•The implication of having no shared hobbies and one being forced into doing what the other likes (Nesta training to become more like Cas, Azriel going to Rita’s and generally putting himself out there to please Mor)

•The manipulation of emotions to force the other into doing what they want. Nesta goes from 0 to 100 in accepting the bond bc Cassian pushes this idea of being “shackled” to her and reminding her she’s inferior/not enough for him. Mor is constantly using Azriel’s feelings to force him to talk/agree to plans and just generally do what she/the IC wants

•The complete IGNORING of an implicit love confession (Az/Mor after the Autumn court debacle, Cas/Nes at the end of ACOWAR) even though ignoring it is weird and makes no sense.

WHY DO I POINT ALL THIS OUT? I think these parallels could mean some important things, especially because SJM could have chosen to ignore all the weird/bad things about Nessian and pretend they had a happily ever after following ACOSF but she didn’t. So, what are the options here?

1) I’ve seen this one a few times and I think it’s an interesting concept: there are “true” mating bonds, like those in TOG, and there are “cauldron” mating bonds, which have less to do with love/romance/compatibility and more to do with breeding and just generally creating a path the cauldron deems suitable. I think Mor/Azriel being “cauldron” mates would be a great way to explore this concept since Mor can’t love Azriel, giving Azriel a chance to be with someone purely out of choice (no matter who that is), and forcing the Archeron sisters to contemplate their mating bonds and whether they really want their mates (I focus more on Nes/Elain here, I hold true that Feysand is here to stay, though this could be an interesting contention point for Rhys)

2) This seems less likely to me but would be SO interesting: Rhys has the power to fake mating bonds to a certain degree and has been doing so when it suits him. Now let me specify one thing: Rhys did NOT fake his bond with Feyre, we do know this for certain. Based on his thoughts it’s also very likely he did NOT fake Elucien’s bond. HOWEVER i think it is totally plausible and makes sense for him to fake a bond between Mor/Azriel and Cassian/Nesta as a means of controlling Azriel and Nesta. We are told several times throughout the series Rhys doesn’t know how to control Az and the first time we see Az try to defy him (by being with Elain) what does Rhys immediately ask??? wHaT aBoUt mOr, aZ? Such a weird thing to bring up, except it’s not when you get to the basis of all Mor and Az’s interactions and why people think Az loves Mor (he does what she says and tries to make her happy, even to his own loss) except apparently when it suits Rhys. We’ve seen the SAME vibe with Nessian, and we know Rhys has been hardcore struggling to control Nesta. I think if he saw they had some mutual attraction, faking a bond there would make sense. it would also make sense they were able to avoid/ignore each other for so long (like the bond was faded) but then have an intense connection when around each other

3) These parallels mean nothing except SJM poorly wrote both of these pairings 💔

Truly, I know NOTHING for sure but I hope SJM chooses to do something interesting with these pairs rather then leaving them with weird icky damaging histories and ignoring them. Cant be too sure but I have some hope

[talonabraxas]

Trishul त्रिशूल, triśūla

"a trident", a Lord Shiva’s weapon which is carried by yogis.

It is the royal scepter of Shaiva-dharma. The trishula symbolism is polyvalent and rich. The three spearheads have various meanings and significance. They are commonly said to represent various trinities – creation, maintenance and destruction; past, present and future, the three gunas – sattva, rajas and tamas. Also they symbolize the three shaktis – iccha, kriya and jnana (will, action and wisdom) through which Shiva controls the laws of dharma. In the human body, the trishula represents the three main nadis, or energy channels (ida, pingala and sushumna). When looked upon as a weapon of Shiva, the trishula is said to destroy the three worlds: the physical world, the world of the forefathers (representing culture drawn from the past) and the world of the mind (representing the processes of sensing and acting). The three worlds are supposed to be destroyed by Shiva into a single non-dual plane of existence that is bliss alone. The Goddess Durga also holds the trishula among other weapons and attributes in her hands and amongst her accoutrement, having received celestial weapons from both Shiva and Vishnu. It is also considered that the trishula relates to the worship of the Sun. In sadhana the trishula can be used as the item of puja or as the attribute of deity, then the trident sets on the altar and the special mantra is reading for it.

triśūla mantra

sat namo ādeś | gurujī ko ādeś | oṁ gurujī ! oṁ dhartī so ākāś, mahā dhartrī mahā ākāś | triśūla lāyā siddha nivāsa | oṁ pahalī dhār anahad bānī, dūjī dhār amṛta bāṇī tīsarī dhār alakha nirvānī | siddha sādhaka ne triśūla dhariyā| lohā triśūl jogī nirvāṇa | āsana pavitra triśūl pavitra kahe machandar sun bā goraśa triśūl sadā rākhiyo pās, kāl kanṭaka nahī āve pās | triśūl cāle bhūt piśāca nikaṭ nahī āve | itanā triśūl mantra sampūrṇa bhayā |

śrī nātha jī guru jī ko ādeś | ādeś |

Adesh to the Holy Name! Adesh to my Guru! Om Guru! OM to the Earth (Prithvi) and SOM to the Space (Akasha), to the Great Earth (the essence of the all earths), to the Great Space (the essence of the all spaces)! Trishula gives siddhis and dissolves existence. Om, the first spike symbolizes the unaccented sound of anahata, the second spike symbolizes the immortality, the third one is a symbol of uncomprehended and unexpressed, boundless state. The trishula grants siddhas to a sadhak. The iron of trishula is bliss for a yogin. The holy asana and the holy trishula heard what Matsyendra said and what Goraksha heard, the holder of trishula, who is piercing the time by a needle. The trushula that is eliminated inferior spirits and ghosts. Such is the true trushula-mantra. Adesh, adesh to Great Nath, to Guruji !

-The mantra from the book of Yogi Vilasnath "Shri Natha Rahasya"

[ilpianistasultetto]

Il Concordato fiscale spiegato in poche parole..

OGGI scadevano i termini per aderire al concordato fiscale. Una cosa seria? Ma no, dai, non scherziamo con le parole. Si e' trattato solo della richiesta di una questua alle p.iva. Un'offerta, un piccolo obolo chiesto col cappello in mano. " Gente, dateci una piccola mano, un aiutino, aiutate questo governo a restare in vita per qualche altro mese.." Di serio non c'e' stato nulla. Di concordati ne ho fatti circa 700... in tutte le proiezioni proposte da agenzia entrate la costante era solo quella di un reddito da dichiarare lievemente maggiore nei prossimi due anni, quindi, un po' di irpef in piu' da versare.

Perche' non e' una cosa seria? Perche' il cittadino "quasi onesto o totalmente onesto" che ha dichiarato redditi netti di 40mila euro, agenzia entrate lo invita ad aderire al concordato accettando la revisione a 43mila euro. Invece, al cittadino campione di elusione fiscale con identica attivita' (e credetemi, anche con lo stesso reddito netto) che ha dichiarato al fisco redditi netti per 15mila euro, agenzia entrate lo invita ad aderire al concordato accettando la revisione a 18mila. Insomma, 3mila euro in piu' per l'onesto e stessa cifra proposta all'evasore..Capite bene che di serio non c'e' nulla e che nessuno vuol mettere mano all'evasione fiscale. Si sta solo chiedendo quattro spicci alle p.iva per tenere l'acqua appena sotto il labbro inferiore di questo Paese..

Il dato statistico e' quello della scarsa adesione, sia dei "quasi onesti" , sia degli evasori.. tutti in attesa di condoni piu' vantaggiosi..

@ilpianistasultetto

[crazy-so-na-sega]

"I Preta, nel buddismo, sono degli esseri rinati in una condizione inferiore a quella umana e a quella animale. A causa dei loro atti malvagi compiuti in vite precedenti sono condannati a vivere in sembianze semi-umane inseguendo desideri basilari sempre inappagati".

Il Velo di Maya

che vuoi che dica sta cessa laureata all'accademia degli Schifi che se ne ha visto uno è per caso......dai...:-)

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INTP here. I have read through your blog and it has helped me a lot on reflecting myself and resolving my past issues. I do have one concern that I hope you can address. I tend to realize I mindread a lot as per your blog description (I’ve read through the entire tag), and am actively trying to prevent judging and assuming people’s intention too early/quickly.

However, I cannot tell the difference sometimes between when I understand a person well, vs when I mindread. I want to try to understand people so I can interact with them better. I also have past experiences with being misunderstood before and want to try to give everyone a chance. I believe this is due to inferior Fe issues along with my ego thinking that I am kind. I also want to believe that I understand people, because I can tell if someone is a red flag but maybe that does not have to do with understanding people.

I came up with some solutions such as paying attention and communicating to other people to clear up misunderstandings, but even then people tend to be indirect in what they say and it turns out they are hurt by what I said or secretly angry at me for a while (I did not realize this until they are actually angry at me).

From writing this, I do notice my contradiction: how would people be hurt/angry at me if I “supposedly” treat them right? I admit that I am wrong for doing so, that I have hurt them, and I hope to address my ego in order to be better as a person for myself and other people around me.

I mindread because I am afraid of people potencially being angry/hurt because of me, even when that did not happen, because my social skills are not that well developed, but I acknowledge there might be more underlying reasons to this that I am not fully aware of.

I noticed that you have great perpection skills when understanding people, and I would like to learn the positive aspects. If possible, can you help shine a light on how I should start? Plus, if you can advise me why why people are indirect when communicating that would be great because I am almost always direct in my communication and do not fully understand the nuances of social context, and I wish to understand and treat other people better

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Socializing and communication are complex topics, so there's a lot to unpack in your question.

(1) Mindreading: Ne development should help with the mindreading problem. Healthy Ti doms have a reputation for being sharp and adaptable because i) dominant Ti only accepts factual information and rises to the challenge of systematizing it for effective judgment/decisions, and ii) the auxiliary function actively monitors and processes any and all changes in factual information.

But when functions remain underdeveloped, Ti-Si always gets stuck working with a very limited and unchanging set of facts, and Ne-Fe is too small in scope to alert you to other possible ways of looking at situations, ways that might get you closer to the truth.

In other words, healthy INTPs always leave room for error. They proceed through life confidently based on the facts they have on hand but always with the awareness that knowledge is provisional and might need to be updated at a later date. They never believe that they know everything, they always keep themselves open to more information, and they take the extra step to gather information that might contradict or disprove what they already know.

However, being P, the tendency to "prospect" for information can go awry when Ne is unhealthy enough to give rise to Ti-Si loop. The above healthy qualities I just listed can easily turn negative and express hidden ego issues, e.g., by making you feel insecure in not knowing, anxious about getting blindsided, and obsessive-compulsive in needing to know more (due to having no clear goal, unrealistic goals, or constantly moving the goalposts).

Contrasting healthy and unhealthy Ne expression, what is the lesson? If you hope to be a healthy INTP, you have to learn how to sit comfortably in ambiguity and uncertainty. If you hope to be a mature INTP, you have to love a challenge and go the extra mile to welcome and embrace ambiguity and uncertainty as vehicles for learning and growing into a more intelligent person.

(2) Theory of Mind: How does the above apply to social life? Relationships are full of ambiguity and uncertainty, are they not? Sure, in theory, solving relationship problems should be a simple matter of good communication and clearing up misunderstandings.

However, in reality, good communication is very hard to come by. Why? Because… people. Human psychology is messy AF. People contain multitudes, and in some cases, multitudes of contradictions. They often don't know themselves well enough to know what they really need/want/like, let alone communicate these things clearly to another person.

What's worse, what people think they know about themselves can sometimes be false, which leads them in all sorts of wrong directions. You brought up a good example of thinking that you are a kind person, yet you keep getting feedback to indicate that you aren't as kind as you believe. Human perception can be very flawed, so how you see yourself and others can get very distorted. This raises the question of how to navigate the messiness.

The first step is to see and accept people as what they really are (Ti). Humans are complicated. They are not programmed or programmable machines. They can want contradictory things. They can change their mind on a whim. They can say one thing and do another. They can believe wholeheartedly in complete falsehoods. They are capable of reprehensible acts. They can also be resilient, steadfast, honest, loyal, noble, passionate, inspired, innovative, determined, dedicated, empathetic, loving, and altruistic. If humans weren't so complicated, social life would be terribly boring.

If you really want to understand people better, you have to exercise better imagination (Ne) and recognize the full scope of their potential, both positive and negative. When you have a very full view of humans, you'll be quicker to recognize the truth of each individual. But when you have a very small and limited view of humans, you'll find yourself constantly confused or blindsided by their behavior.

Some of this fuller view simply comes with life experience, but the majority of it should come from making an effort to expose yourself to different kinds of people and creating opportunities to expand your understanding of human nature.

(3) Ego Development: What does this mean for improving your social skills? Firstly, on your part, you have to see and acknowledge your own complexity. One reason I emphasize the importance of self-awareness is that, without it, you'll never come to see or appreciate your own complexity.

The way you view yourself at age 20 will be very different than age 40. It's not necessarily because you've changed a whole lot in that time, in fact, most people don't change very much throughout life, objectively speaking. What really happens is that you gradually learn more and more about who you really are over time, and that changes your self-perception.

When you're young, ego development is still in early stages, which means the ego is still in a fragile state. As you build a personal identity, you get heavily invested in seeing yourself a certain way, and it can hurt the ego when that self-image gets contradicted. This leads people to become defensive of their self-image and avoid situations that disturb it.

What they have yet to realize is that taking down the false self-image is precisely how one gets closer to knowing the truth of oneself. One must surrender to the pain of that takedown in order to grow. Are you willing to surrender to the pain of realizing that you are not the person you've always believed yourself to be, that you're possibly a much worse person than you thought?

Until you can recognize the truth of your own complex humanity and the full scope of your own positive and negative potential, you will always struggle to understand others, because it is likely that you will remain stuck in a state of projection. Projection means that your perception of others is always tainted by your own unconscious ego issues, i.e., you don't see the world as it is but as you are.

For example, you are a person who prefers to communicate directly, and this unconsciously sets up an expectation that others should do it too or be capable of doing it. Whenever others prove to be very different from you, you get confused or flustered. Your mind isn't open enough to gather the whole truth about people when your first instinct is to assume people are or should be just like you.

Secondly, on the part of the relationship, you have to acknowledge the reality that, at this moment, not everyone is within your capability to understand and is therefore not going to be very compatible with you. There's a reason why we seem to click with some people better than others. While relationships do require work to maintain, there's a certain point at which the expenditure of effort starts to bring diminishing returns. At that point, it might be time to throw in the towel and admit that the relationship isn't going to work in its current manifestation.

For example, if you're looking for someone who is capable of having a mature, honest, and authentic discussion about relationship issues, then you have to weed out the people who haven't yet developed that capability. It's not about being mean or critical; it's about recognizing the facts of what someone can or can't do and making a smart choice about whether it's possible to have a healthy relationship with them.

(4) Exercising Good Judgment: Making evaluations of people and relationships isn't easy because there are a variety of factors to take into consideration. One problem Ti doms often run into is that they don't take enough factors into consideration (inferior Fe), i.e., they are too undiscerning and often just passively take whatever relationships come their way.

When you approach relationships too abstractly or intellectually or flexibly, you can easily fall into the trap of thinking that any relationship can work in theory, if only you did this or they did that. In reality though, the effort it would take to implement those changes wouldn't be worth it due to diminishing returns, or those changes are simply infeasible (and you might slowly destroy yourself or the relationship by trying to force the change).

An important step in acknowledging your own complex humanity is to admit that you have needs, preferences, and desires... AND be okay with them changing over time, as you learn more about yourself. Needs, preferences, and desires should be informing you of what kind of person is best suited to being your friend or partner.

There are billions of people in this world. If you want a positive, enriching, and fulfilling social life, you have to be proactive and selective in finding the right people for you to keep company with. There are only a few basic criteria that need to be present in every relationship, such as: kindness, trust, empathy, etc. But what about the other qualities of the person? What does your ideal friend/partner look like?

(5) Navigating Conflict: An important aspect of having good social skills is accepting the fact that conflict is necessary for relationships to grow over time. A relationship without disagreements and problems isn't a real relationship. The question is whether the two people involved are: i) committed enough to the relationship to make things better, ii) equipped with the relationship skills required to resolve problems properly, and iii) on the same page and want the same things out of the relationship.

To the first point, not everyone you meet will be as committed as you, so you have to use your best judgment about whether it's worthwhile to continue with them. Also, reflect on how committed you are to a relationship and whether it is accurately reflected in your everyday behavior. Remember that Fe is an extraverted function that requires taking action and cannot only be about empty words or silent intentions.

To the second point, as long as both individuals are willing to learn and improve their relationship skills, there will continue to be hope for the relationship to get better. Although, keep in mind that the learning process isn't always linear and smooth. There will inevitably be steps forwards and backwards.

To the third point, you can discuss with people what they want out of the relationship, what their goals are, or what they hope the relationship can become in the future. A relationship has a greater chance of success when there is agreement about which direction to go. If people refuse such discussions or don't take them seriously, then it casts serious doubt over their commitment, which circles back to the first point.

It sounds like you are motivated to improve your social skills. If people aren't being honest with you, you have to get to the bottom of why. Perhaps the problem lies mainly in you not really hearing what people need from you because you keep failing to address the feelings they are communicating, which is a common communication problem. If that's the case, you need to work on your listening skills and communication skills in general. Perhaps the problem lies mainly in the other person not being able to express themselves honestly for whatever reason. Or it could be a combination of the two.

The best you can do is welcome people to be honest with you, by guaranteeing to them that you can handle the truth and encouraging them to speak directly. However, you have no control over whether they can do it. It's their issue to deal with and there's no forcing it.

[bat-the-misfit]

typing people who are healthy versions of their type is amazing but typing unhealthy types is so freaking fascinating

like it sucks they're unhealthy but THE CHALLENGE MAKES TYPING THEM SO MUCH MORE FUN

[9haharharley1]

Making THIS a separate post because I want to continue it and make it a proper oneshot

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What if Sephiroth saw?

What if their minds do the thing and senses where Cloud is what he's doing, and goes to the Honey Bee, and he finds Cloud dancing on stage? Watches him get a makeover? The jealousy and possession he would feel as Andrea dances with him, touches him, compliments him, calls him beautiful; Sephiroth would have to fight back a murderous rage because he can't act, he can't reveal himself, it's too soon!

But he knows Cloud senses him, he sees how he tenses on stage, looks around the room, his guard up, not just because he's suddenly in a dress and way out of his comfort zone, but he knows something is wrong, someone is there, and while Aerith goes out the front to wait for Cloud, Cloud sneaks out back, on guard but without his gear, without his sword, only to be snatched up by strong arms, shockingly gentle because of what he's wearing

The man behind him doesn't want to ruin his new outfit, doesn't even want to press the smaller man into the wall for fear of staining the dress with the grime of Wall Market, its bad enough he had another man's hands on him while in he club, but Sephiroth can remedy that now. His touch is soft, far gentler than he has ever recalled handling anything in his life, but Cloud isn'tjust anything. And the other man clearly hates it, struggles in his arms as much as the dress will allow, which isn't much, and Sephiroth laughs, low and deep, and the body thrashing against him stills.

Cloud's voice is small and fearful as he mutters, "Sephiroth?"

"What have we here?" Sephiroth murmurs, and his breath is hot on Cloud's ear, tickling his skin. Cloud shivers, and Sephiroth chuckles. His hands smooth over the bodice, a groan building in his throat, but he doesn't release it. Cloud is tense in his arms.

"You're not here." Cloud says quietly, and it sounds like ne's trying to convince himself. "You're not here. You're not seeing this."

There's a smirk on his lips as he keeps running his hands over smooth silk. "Are you embarrassed, Cloud?"

"You're not really here. You're not here... Cloud keeps muttering, over and over, a blush on his painted cheeks. Sephiroth purses his lips. His puppet has his eyes squeezed shut, hands clasped tight in front of him, like if he doesn't touch Sephiroth, then he's not really there.

But Sephiroth won't be ignored. Not by his little puppet.

"You look lovely,' he says into Cloud's reddened ear. He has half a thought to take his gloves off, to feel if the bodice is made of satin or silk, but he is hard-pressed to even remove his hands from where they're rubbing all over. Cloud is rigid in his arms, eyes squeezed shut. He gasps when Sephiroth moves his hands further down, his own flying up in an effort to avoid touching him back, leaving them to hang awkwardly in the air. The long skirt bunches under his palm, Cloud taking in a shaky breath, and Sephiroth can't help but turn his head when Cloud turns his face away, pressing his nose to that pale neck, inhaling. Cloud is wearing some sort of perfume, sweet and rosy, and Sephiroth licks up the long line of his neck.

Cloud gasps. "You're not real'

"Oh, I don't have to be real, Cloud," Sephiroth murmurs, breath hot on Cloud's ear, the man gasping and shaking beneath his hands. "All I have to do is touch you-" he licks along the lobe of that flushed ear as his hand gropes the blond through the long skirt, Cloud barely managing to stifle a startled moan as a lacy, gloved hand grabs his wrist, "and your every cell cries out for my attention."

Cloud's hand on his wrist is firm, grip tight, and had Sephiroth been a normal human, unenhanced and inferior like the rest of the insects skittering around outside the alley, then maybe Cloud would have succeeded in pulling him away. Had he not been fearful if dirtying the dress he worked so hard to procure to save his little friend, he may have fought back, and Sephiroth could partake in the pleasure of his anger and distress.

But unfortunately for Cloud, Sephiroth is, and has always been, superior, and Cloud's shame and fear tastes just as sweet.

"Oh?" There is a hint of mania in his voice as he feels his puppet stiffen under his hand. He presses his smirk to Cloud's neck, nuzzling aside a braid to lick flushed skin. "Are you enjoying this Cloud?"

A strangled sound escapes Cloud, both his hands now trying to shove Sephiroth away. Sephiroth wraps his other arm tight around Cloud's waist, pulling him flush to his body. A harsh breath rushes out of Cloud, one hand letting go of Sephiroth's wrist. Sephiroth's fondling is gentle, or as gentle as he knows how to be - a distant memory, at best - his strokes light and almost teasing as Cloud plumps up under his fingers.

"Stop..." Cloud murmurs, not quite a plea yet, so Sephiroth bites the back of his neck and earns a gasp in response.

---

Needs to be cleaned up because it started as a random stream of thought, but if I have one kink, then it's boys in skirts against their will!

[oiblackestsheep]

what, in your opinion, are an intp’s needs in a relationship? (coming from an infj.) love your blog, you’ve got some amazing insights 🫶

Aww, thanks INFJ anon. 🫶 I try my best to have interesting insights that bring something fresh to the table!

INTP's Needs in a Relationship

I've been in the same relationship for 8.5 years (and we actually MET ON TUMBLR BECAUSE OF THIS BLOG WHICH IS SO FUNNY AND NERDY), all of this to say, I've had a lot of time to think about my relationship needs even from the MBTI perspective as an INTP, because that was how my ENFJ and I kinda started out getting to know, like, what we each needed from each other, so, here we go!

Disclaimer: This is assuming that the INTP is already getting everything that everyone needs in a basic healthy relationship like, you know, feeling emotionally safe and being treated with respect, etc..

Intellectual stimulation: INTPs generally love understanding new things and how they work, so ideally their partner can share that interest with them in some way! They can be pretty curious people, so joining them in their quest for uncovering the "how" and "why" of everything will make them feel understood, themselves, and closer to you in the process!

Clear explanations of your feelings: Because INTPs have inferior Fe, they tend to have a habit of intellectualizing their own emotions when they talk about them, which can cause complications with understanding other people's emotions, too. Finding a way to be patient and know that even healthy INTPs might still struggle with connecting with other people's emotions (especially at first in a relationship) isn't necessarily because they don't want to, but more that it doesn't always come naturally, so they don't always know how to. If they're a healthy person, they will want to understand, just try not to take it personally while they are practicing/learning!

Alone time: This one should be pretty straight-forward lmao. They're introverted, so they like to recharge doing solo-activities, and they're intuitives, so they have their own little theoretical world full of bizarre ideas to entertain themselves with that might not always be easy to follow at first. I find that introverts in general (maybe the INxx types even moreso) like to engage in parallel play where their partner also does something quietly nearby, but still a separate activity. As an INFJ, yourself, I'm sure you can relate in your own way, so it's likely easy to give them what they need!

Humor them/hear them out: This might sound a little vague, and I guess in some ways it is, but this is mostly about their auxiliary Ne. ENTPs and ENFPs get most of the attention when it comes to high Ne, but INTPs (and INFPs, too!) place a lot of importance on it, too, which can often manifest itself in conversations like "what if __", "imagine if __", etc.. To put it bluntly, it might seem a bit... directionless, and that's because sometimes it kind of is! It's just about thinking of random possibilities that are non-serious and funny in the moment, and don't really go anywhere else outside of the current discussion or hold any larger, overarching significance. Sometimes it's less about the actual topic itself, and more about having some random fun and "playing along" that makes a world of a difference to a playful INTP (or high Ne user in general). This point got away from me a little bit which I think, in a way, is the perfect exemplification of what I was trying to say in the first place, lmao. Hope that makes sense! If your INTP ever sounds like whatever the hell I just said, just try not to disengage right away, because they probably have a point that they are struggling to reach. Put that dom Ni to work and summarize it for them, I know you can do it from experience with my own ENFJ lmao.

Anyway, uhhhhh: Every single point on this list has gotten progressively longer because my Ne loves extrapolating (and I love Ne, but sometimes its gotta CHILL you know?), so I'm gonna end it here before it gets WILDLY OUT OF CONTROL.

This was a fun question, anon!: Thanks again for reaching out, and basically giving me full range to just write multiple paragraphs about myself and my relationship!

[shinysoroka]

Every time I see an Avengers Human AU, Thor is usually European royalty, the son of a politician or the heir to some corporation, like Tony. Those choices make perfect sense but I feel like they don't quite capture the certain je ne sais quoi The Jennies of his character. Therefore, I humbly suggest the Raised in a Cult option.

He is the firstborn son of a low-grade Jim Jones type who grew up in an isolated commune, being treated like royalty and groomed to succeed his dad. After some nonsensical disagreement, his dad casts him out of the commune for a week to teach him a lesson. This turns out to be a huge mistake, since Thor comes to love the outside world, throws his legacy away, tells his dad to go fuck himself and proceeds to start his life from scratch.

That's why he doesn't have a birth certificate or any paperwork to prove he exists. That's why his name is so unusual, why he speaks in such an old-fashioned way, why he has no social media presence, no understanding of modern technology and weird gaps in his knowledge of the world. It also gives him the chance to learn to appreciate regular people who the cult considers inferior.

[fernthewhimsical]

Fern's Nehalennia Deep Dive: pt 1

Titles:

Stuurvrouw (Steerswoman), Vrouwe van de Noordzee (Lady of the North Sea), Wildmother

Meaning name Nehalennia

We're not really sure what the name Nehalennia means. She was honoured in an area that covers Roman, Briton, and Germanic tribes and peoples, so even her origin is unknown. Several theories of meaning are:

"recently caught" or "recently salted" - from "Net hael inne". (Huygens)

"new market" - from "ne halle" (Claude de Saumaise)

"new moon" - from "Nea Selene" (Olivier Vredius)

"Neel brings in" - from "Neel (personal name) hael inne" (Jacobus Lydius)

"to give food", "to provide" - from "Naera-Laena" (Laurens Pieter van de Spiegel)

"Goddess of the sea" - from "Neach Lenn" "exalted sea" (Marquis Du Chasteler)

"Virgin of sorrow/sadness" - from "Neh al Léan" (Eloi Johanneau)

"night, friendly moon-Goddess" - from "Neha-Lennia" (D. Buddingh)

"spinning Goddess" - from "Nera" or "Nere" meaning spinning (Grimm)

"pouring, gifting" - from "Neihen" or "Neehan" (H. Kern)

"Lady/Mother who envelopes/enrobes" - from "Neha Lenn" (H. Hardenberg)

"mist/fog" - from Proto Indo-European (PIE) *nebʰ- (wikipedia)

"spirits of the dead" - from Greek "nekués" and the PIE "nek-e/o" "to bring death" (wikipedia)

"leader", "steerswoman", or "She who leads a ship safely over sea" (Gijsseling) This interpretation is considered most likely, new information and spellings literally surfaced, helping Gijsseling come to this conclusion.

The Surfacing of Nehalennia

In 1647 in Domburg, Zeeland, the remains of a temple were found. Inside it, they discovered votive stones dedicated to a local Goddess: Nehalennia. Back then there wasn't really a historical society, and preserving the cultus of a pagan Goddess was not a priority. Some of the stones were moved to a church, where they were displayed underneath the stairs, with a leaky roof. Other stones were used as lawn ornaments for a rich proprietor. After a lightning strike the church burnt down, and the stones were lost. Many of the stones who had been on the lawn were irrevocably damaged.

But Nehalennia was not ready to be forgotten. On the 14th of April 1970 fisherman K.J. Bout found some strange stones in his fishing nets. He could have tossed them back, but instead he realized the value of these stones. He contacted the National Museum of Antiquities in Leiden who sent a representative. While waiting, Bout fished up more stones, and part of what looked like a temple. Bout made his ship available for several diving trips, and over 240 votive stones surfaced.

Many of the stones depict a woman, sitting on a throne, or standing with one foot on the bow of a ship. She wears a very distinct pereline (a short shoulder cape), and holds a basket filled with apples, pears, and breads. Standing next to her sits her loyal dog companion. Most of the stones also hold an inscription, thanking Deae Nehalleniae for safe travel over sea. From the inscriptions we also learn that many of the people who made an offering were traders, hailing from Italy, Cologne, Brittain, Trier, and southern France. Through this magnificent find, we have learned a lot more about our "local" Goddess Nehalennia.

Over the years, more votive stones surfaced. Found in Trier, Cologne, Tongeren, and even some that might be Nehalennia in Brittain. All stones and remains have been dated to be between 150-250CE, and worshipers all come from a large area that encompasses Gallia Belgica, Germania Inferior, Germania Superior en Britannia. Even though Nehalennia is clearly also found outside the Netherlands, us Dutch people have laid a claim on her. Especially since two of her temples have both been found in Zeeland, she is seen as a local Goddess, and one we are very proud of. [Link to the Masterpost]