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lovelykil · 3 days ago

Text

AWSF?─

someone req some angst but I can't find the req so ermmm here 🤓☝🏾 I'll proof read later

the day killua described the uncontrollable feelings he had for you, you were appalled. It was at the movie theaters on a friend hangout with Gon. Out of all places he chose to be weird, he chose the day you guys all hang out.

besides this obvious flaw, you stood in shock, frozen with utter confusion in the dimly lit hallway outside the theater room. The halls were empty, popcorn scattered across the red dirtied floor. The silence was so weird and unusual.

made Killua's skin crawl.

he desperately needed to hear your response, a peep, a yell—anything! And he eventually did, but it wasn't the response he hoped for.

friends with benefits was what you offered him besides a relationship. Your defense was "relationships are scary...! And I don't think I'm ready." Which he fully understood, and thought about this new development. Hell, it was better than nothing right?

so he agreed. Then a kiss of utter passion took place in that hallway. Your lips were addictive and intoxicating to him, he couldn't get enough of you. He knew this "relationship" you two had wasn't exactly the ideal one he had pictured in his mind, but maybe this FWB wouldn't be so bad. After all,

this was a dirty secret you shared, together.

but as months went on, kiss after kiss, flirting after flirting, and even one night of pure intimacy occurring in your bedroom, your arms wrapping around his bare sweaty skin as he thrusts himself into you one last time before pulling out with a dazed look in his dark blue eyes.

your hands instinctively touch his flushed face and you kiss his nose so tenderly before whispering, "i love you killua."

you still never wanted a relationship with him.

he watches you get ready to go out with some idiotic guy, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Why? He asks himself. And when he gets mad at you for seeing other people, his heart shatters into bits of pieces every time you yell the words

"we're not dating, we're friends!"

it then it sinks in, you're right you two aren't dating.

but why do you kiss him like you do? Touch him so utterly tenderly with such affection like you do? Even TELL HIM you love him.

why?? Is all he asks himself. It's driving him insane the way you act and one night he loses it.

. . .

"why do you even go out with him, huh? He's an idiot!" Killua raises his voice at you, frustration and possessiveness driving him to the edge. You rise from your bed and walk up to him, "and why the hell do you care Killua? You shouldn't because we're not even dating. So stop acting like a jealous prick." You firmly reply, irritation bubbling inside you.

the two of you stare intently at each other, brows furrowing and hearts pounding in your chests. The tension in the air growing thicker with each passing second.

"jealous prick huh? I'll show you fucking jealous." He snaps before slamming his lips into yours taking you by surprise. He begins to pour his pent-up frustration and uncontrollable desire into the heated kiss. Even pushing you into the bed to devour your lips so hungrily and animalistic.

his pale, slender but strong hands roam beneath the fabric of your sleepwear as he presses himself against you. You want to fight back, push him off you're so fucking irritated with him but aroused at the same time.

you can't help but moan into the wild kiss as you feel his digits explore your bare naked skin. Your body shivers with excitement feeling his pelvis against yours.

your moans send him into a daze he cannot get out of, it's like he's stuck in a dream. He doesn't want to wake up from it. The silverette squeezes the plush of your skin with frustration yet kisses you with affection as his tongue overlaps with yours.

your hips, your stomach, your sweet mounds he doesn't miss a curve on your body when exploring under your shirt, he's lost all sense of control all he is thinking about is you and his utter need for you.

but do you want him the way he wants you? Do you crave his sweet lips the way he craves yours? These thoughts play on a loop just fueling his frustration because he knows you do.

you just won't fucking admit it.

"killua... stop.. what are you doing?" You manage to breathe out. He ignores your breathless question and continues to let out his frustration on your lips and body. You moan some more feeling his lips on your neck.

killua growls against your skin in appreciation, now feasting upon your sweet neck with his teeth and lips. You protest some more but he ignores you, solely focused on leaving marks on you to show people you are HIS. Not anyone else's.

but as the real irritation settles back in, your brows furrowing together, you finally grasp the realization of the situation and push him off with a yell.

"I said stop! Jesus!" Your eyes narrow up at him, your elbows prompting your weight on the bed. He's not caught off guard by the push, he expected it from you but a little sooner. The rhythm of his labored breath matches your own as you stare into his shadow-veiled face, the both of you coming down from whatever the fuck just happened.

"you wanted to see jealous, why are you getting mad now?" Killua finally speaks. He lifts his head to reveal his dark blue eyes. You roll your eyes and rub your face, "my god I should've never fucking kissed you."

you mutter under your breath.

your words dont go unnoticed, Killua folds his arms to his chest, "why, you didn't enjoy it?" He sarcastically asks. You sit up from your bed and look him straight in the eye.

"no, because you're acting like this—crazy." You growl. A silence falls again, the air heavy.

his eyes meet with yours and for the first time you see him falter, you watch them narrow downward before he speaks firmly. "I only act like this because I am inlove with you Y/n. I am so utterly obsessed with you to the point I can't even function when you're not around. Of course I get jealous when you go out with other guys, are you a fucking idiot or what?"

he looks back at you.

you freeze in place, taken back by his straightforward confession. Once you calm down your eyes flicker away, "if you can't control your feelings, then—"

"are you kidding me?" He interrupts with a bitter faint laugh—scoff more like. "I've tried, believe me. I've bit my tongue more times than I can remember. I've tasted my own blood just for you. But when you look at me, you don't look at me like a friend Y/n," Killua takes a step closer, closing the space between you and him.

your eyes dart back into his as he inches toward you, he continues now that he has your gaze.

"you look at me like you love me, and I know you do." He finishes. Your eyes glimmer in his gaze, body freezing in your spot once again. He's got you all figured out.

"no I—"

"you do, you fucking do. Don't try to deny it I see it in your eyes." He reaches out to cup your face. Your brows knit together, you feel the hot tears burn your eyes looking into his. Killua's gaze softens seeing your vulnerability, he goes to wipe the tear from your eyes but you stop him before he can even do so.

" just shut up okay?! I don't want to be in a relationship with you so just give up will you?" You yell out. You can feel your ears ring and your heart thump so loud in your chest. You wipe the tears falling down your cheek with the back of your hand.

the frustration bubbles inside you making you say things that aren't exactly true because you're to afraid to admit the truth.

you're frustrated with yourself.

you're scared.

Killua is taken back by your sudden outburst his heart sinking at your cruel words he knew weren't true. He takes a step back, too overwhelmed with emotions to deal with your ridiculous behavior. But anger rises within him, "fine." He snaps, his voice now laced with irritation.

"I'll give up, but you're a goddamn idiot for pushing me away like this."

your heart breaks slowly like glass at the firmness of his voice, you're breaking him, and it's breaking you.

you want to scream, tell him this isn't what you want but all you can give him is silence.

fucking silence.

Killua sees the inner turmoil bubbling within you that he is all too familiar with the feeling and look, but at least he had the guts to finally say something. When will you?

his frustration grows as you give him more dreadful silence, he wants to grab you, shake you, and make you realize what you're doing to the both of you. But instead, he just stands there, his hands clenching into fits at his sides, his heart heavy with resignation.

your eyes linger on his before daring to ask the chilling question with a fragile voice,

"are we still friends?"

"friends?" He repeats, almost shocked you would even ask him that. He scoffs bitterly again, "I can't believe you would even ask that after I told you that I am in love with you." He takes another step back. While you take one more closer.

"Killua—"

"no, don't. Don't act like you care now, I gave you a chance and you gave me nothing." The distance he is putting between you is dreadful. You keep inching forward, pleading with tears in your eyes.

"but please Killua-!" "no! You don't get to play with my feelings like I'm some puppet Y/n! I'm not your toy you can just pick up and discard whenever you want." You can see the pain in his precious blue eyes when he snaps at you.

you stand in your spot just feet away from him, your gaze still strong while his beginning to fade.

hot tears run down your face, heart practically sinking to your stomach,

"...please Killua." You mutter, voice laced with desperation and sorrow. His heart swells seeing the tears streaming down your face that are supposed to be wiped away with his finger but they're not.

his fingers are dry.

he turns his head, not allowing him to think anymore about you, his walls placing themselves back up.

"don't cry, you have no right to cry after the way you've treated me."

it was then you realized that you didn't just lose your future lover, but also your best friend as he exits out of your room leaving you alone.

#「 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐊𝐈𝐋 ᯓ 𖦹 」#killua zoldyck #hxh x reader #killua #killua x reader #hunter x hunter #:33

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