alexolivetree

[fairyb0ii]

I found this on Pinterest and I shared it because I support ace and aro folks.

[canonically47]

this pride remember polyamorous people are so fucking cool

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is getting really annoyed with the relationships unit in your sociology class because the whole thing is just 100% amatonormativity.

:\

if think your teacher, professor, and/or TAs might be interested in discussing the concept, I have some idea of bringing up the topic?

I'd personally say something like, "Hi, During our section in sociology around relationships, I couldn't help but think it would be interesting to discuss how a sociological theory called "amatonormativity" might relate to these lessons. I gathered a few sources from the professor who coined it, a thesis written on it, and a law review written about the connection between it and laws in the USA. There's some connections between its use in feminist thought and in queer theories, and I'd love to know your thoughts about it. I personally was thinking of when [specific statement] was said, and how I would apply this theory. I hope it's as interesting to you as it is to me."

Coiner's current webpage: https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/

Thesis: https://vc.bridgew.edu/honors_proj/330/ (click download in upper right hand corner for the PDF, depending on the individual it may be worth downloading and sending that rather than a link)

Law Review: https://uclawreview.org/2022/06/09/amatonormativity-in-the-law-an-introduction/

[uncanny-tranny]

It's kind of comforting to have part of your queerness kept inside by choice. Being closeted by force isn't comforting, but I think there can be a sense of peace when you choose not to talk about part of your queerness. It feels like I am able to honour myself on my own, and I'm able to be happy with myself and not include anybody else in that.

[sharpth1ng]

I talk a lot about how gay I am and how much I love gay stuff but I also want to be clear- straight/het intersex folks, straight/het trans folks, and straight/het aro/ace folks are part of pride to me. You’re part of my community and you’re welcome here. Closeted and questioning people too, whatever your identity is, you don’t need to be visibly queer or know your label to have a place here.

ANYWAYS HAPPY PRIDE, STOP POLICING EACH OTHER, WE DON’T NEED MORE COPS IN THE WORLD.

Edit:

Also just. Aro/ace people in general you’re part of the community idk why some people are being weird about this

[redysetdare]

People who identify as Aspec because of trauma are still Aspec. People who identify as Aspec because of Dysphoria are still Aspec People who realized later on they weren't Aspec where are any less Aspec when they were identifying as it. The point is that at some point they related to and felt understood under an Aspec identity and that's all you need to be Aspec. If it changes later on then that's just how it is, it doesn't make them a faker or poser. It makes them a human being who is constantly growing and understanding more about themselves. We should be supporting these people not treating them as the enemy. If they change their minds then that's okay!

So many of us Aspec people used to think we were allo before realizing we weren't so why are we attacking others for having the same experience just with different identities?

[styrofauxm]

Yeah you support aro people but do you listen to aro people when we tell you something you like doing hurts us?

[tumblerosestudios]

I have a simple rule for life that can be applied to anything and anyone:

You can't gatekeep someone's existence

This rule applies to a wide range of identities and people, here, let's give a few examples;

Bi Lesbians are harmful beca-

You can't gatekeep someone's existence

Aspec people aren't LGBT+ becau-

You can't gatekeep someone's existence

A lesbian can't use he/him pronouns bec-

You can't gatekeep someone's existence

If someone says they're X but you don't like X so you try to undermine their identity or somehow call it "harmful" then you're the problem, it's hard enough trying to just exist while openly not a cishet white guy and if someone finds a label that fits it is not your job to tell that person that Um Akshually That Label Which Aligns With Your Lived Experience is harmful because blah blah blah, it is your job to say I'm happy you're figuring yourself out and then move on with your day.

The only "identities" that are harmful are bigoted ones that actively attack others, so basically only Super straight morons and terfs. anyone else, it's not your fuckin problem. If someone says the split attraction model helps them articulate their feelings and experiences even when not aspec, you don't get to be the final say in telling them they're not "allowed" to use it, I'll say it one more time for the people in the back:

You can't gatekeep someone's existence

Thanks for coming to my fuckin Ted talk if you have to bitch my inbox is open so I can easily block you have a nice day

[anonomi]

WHAT apparently the aro/ace tags are trending due to exclusionist bs!? I am seeing things like "hetero-aces/aros don't belong in our community" or "cishet ace/aro men dont belong"--

Look. It does not matter if you are heteroromantic or heterosexual, if you are a man, a woman, anything in-between, both, anything outside entirely, if you identify only with being ace while being heteroromantic, or only aro but heterosexual, or both or oriented or angled, you are ACE, you are ARO, you are valid and you have a place in the community as any body else. We are connected by our experiences regardless of origin and don't let anybody tell you you don't deserve to feel comfortable or be in this community just because you don't fit some worthless critera. Straight As are still As.

There is a reason we call it a spectrum, because it is diverse and there is nothing else quite like being this. It is unfathomable that this was ever a question.

[cl0ckworkqueerness]

[trigger warning: mention of sexual assault]

the specific breed of queer queerphobia is just as if not more frightening than non-queer queerphobia, specifically in this case as it relates to acespec/arospec people (terms which will hence be combined into "aspec" for the sake of clarity, see the tags for a quick note about this)

if it's not already clear from my posts, i am very supportive of the silenced, erased, and shunned parts of the queer community. i involve myself a great deal in breaking down the walls that queer people have decided to erect in order to determine who does and doesn't get to call themselves "queer". nothing breaks my heart more than seeing other people who experience the world in a way starkly different from perisex, allosexual, alloromantic, cisgender, heterosexual people, get shunned from a family who also experiences the world in such a difference way, simply because it's not different "enough", or not different in the way they want to be different

aspec people will always unquestionably be queer, regardless of anything else that would or wouldn't make them queer. period.

aspec people should not and should never need to "justify" themselves to attend pride, not just "as an ally", but as someone whose relationship with romance and sex (the act) differs from what is expected of a "normal" person. they are inherently different, they are inherently queer. full stop.

aphobia exists, regardless of whether or not you follow your blatant bigotry with "no it doesn't". you cannot erase your shittiness by following up your shittiness with "by the way, I'm not being shitty". and if you know you are being aphobic, and you are proud of such a thing, rethink the way you see queerness as a whole. you are a vile human being, and should unlearn the oppression olympics. you not only are an athlete in it, but you are the obstacles. you are the fucking problem.

aspec people regularly face discrimination and harassment for being aspec. the comments of "why do you refuse to give me grandkids" and "maybe you just haven't found the right person yet" and "you're broken" and "you're going through a phase" have all been said about gay people, about lesbians, and about aspec people. aspec people face violence for being aspec. aspec people face corrective rape for being aspec. aspec people face crocodile tears claws that intend to "help", aspec people face blood and claws that intend to hurt, aspec people face real, visible hatred. and even if they weren't "oppressed enough", WHICH THEY UNDENIABLY ARE, 1) there isn't an oppression goal someone needs to hit to become valid, and 2) queer people should not be defined by the oppression we face, anyway.

"b-b-but what about cishet asexual people!!!" i have never seen a sentence less scary in my life. cishet people can be queer, you know? cishet people can be intersex (if they choose to identify as queer), cis people can be asexual and aromantic, pericishet people can in fact be demisexual and heteroromantic, and guess what? they're still queer. they still differ from what's "normal". they're still allowed to pride, because pride is not meant to gatekeep.

pride is meant to celebrate our differences, to fight against those who try to suppress us, and to unite those who feel crushed by the heel of normality.

so don't fucking do their job for them.

[labyrinthofcrystals]

Norman: I think I'm in love with Otto. Thoughts?

Goblin: AND PRAYERS

[angieblogging]

am i the only one bothered by people referring to both aroace’s as asexual or aros as asexuals?

ace spec = people who experience sexual attraction in a „non-conventional” way (such as under certain circumstances, don’t at all, feel it but don’t act on it and so on and on).

i think calling aros or/and aroaces asexual is wrong because:

It pushes the narrative that asexuality and aromanticism go hand in hand, that one has to be aromantic to be asexual and vice versa, that is simply not true, while one can be both, some are one or the other.

Using the term asexual when referring to aromantics doesn’t help at all, I do believe asexuality is more known than aromanticism (as I’ve seen in my experience), mixing up the terms because „asexual is easier to explain” or due to misinformation does no good.

[obsessionexpert]

Star Sans Poly But Its Aromantic Ink Edition

Ink sans call Dream and Blue his partners. Someone remarks on how its strange (Could be ink or blue or a stranger) and Ink is like They're his mission partners, his partners in life that he lives with and eats with and he bandages their wounds, and they are his partners in this never-ending fight thats cuts so deep and leaves nasty wounds, and in their deep os his partners hands reaching out not to hurt but the tenderly heal the vulnerable spots. His relationship with Ink and blue just feels deeper then friend with everything they go through. Theyre his partners. His partners Dream and Blue, and really that just doesn't feel like a friendship the way others define what a friendship is.

So calling them friends just subconsciously hasn't felt right, they're his partners. Its not boyfriends because theyre not dating so thats obviously not right, so partners is the main word Ink uses to describe Dream and Blue. He’ll use friends if it’s convenient in the context, but everything they do is better explained by the word partner.

so. he's explaining this idea with a Normal Friend (This could be any au variant idk) and he's like, well, this isn't a friendship then, this is similar to romance. (Add some miscommunication in that conversation. Maybe the person Ink is talking to describes romance for themself and they're saying its cooking for them and thinking for them all the time and getting little gifts and all that stuff while thinking about their own lover and Ink is like this is Dream and blue for me! I must be inclined to be in a romantic relationship with those two!

And that means in typical Ink Fashion Ink decides to experiment with romance and try it on for size. Be a little silly with it, and asks Dream to date him. It's just Dream because from observing romantic relationships, like Aplhys x Undyne and Sans x Toriel, he's like, hm romantic relationships are typically between only two people so to try out dating to get an authentic more likely to be accurate experiance since I know jack shit about exploring this concept, I should try to date only one person

ink goes through this process of trying to pick dream or Blue to date but eventually ends up just spontaneously picking one and dating dream cause he’s Ink. Maybe Dreams a bit upset in the scene and Ink knows romance might help these things so he forgoes his usual way of comforting dream, and decides to tell Dream he wants to date him. Dream accepts for some reason?? I might make a seperate post in the future exploring Dream’s relationship to romance

Eventually Ink feels kind of bad, or wrong, or just really wants to tell the truth because he figures out more from observing other romantic couples and realizes that he just does not feel romance like that. He does not feel it at all. (Maybe an aromantic awakening in there but Im not sure) and Ink confesses he doesn't feel romance, internally a bit stressed and frazzled cause this is just one more thing thats weird about him and he knows in romantic relationships things are Different and things are Heavier and that means that Dream might take a lot of offense to this admission and maybe even his weirdness. Who knows, romance changes a lot of things and Ink doesn't get those changes or how ppl act (Prob has watched a couple of yandere aus to study romance, which no ink! Thats not a good example!) hed hate it if Dream left or didnt want to hang out with him for a bit and the stability that comes with the star sanses to change. Ink loves a bit of chaos and unforeseen consequances but not with them. Ink explains that he diesn't feel it like other people, cause dream and blue are not his friends, but it's not romance he's feeling. And they talk abou it and get together in a platonic way and idk lots of self-discovery my ideas have ran out.

I would LOVE interaction with ideas or comments or smth Im obsessed with the Star Sanses (+Core Frisk but they're not relavant in this post, unless…..Core Frisk is someone he asks for advice at some point and they regurgitate information and bond over not experience romance normally cause there is no way Core Frisk experiences it normally being an omnipresent being. Maybe they're part of his aromantic awakening whenever that is? They know pretty much everything and love being completely and thoroughly accurate whenever anyone asks them a question and Ink asks a lot of questions sooooo, lots of ideas for that interaction to be had there)

Tldr: Ink sans is aromantic, is a dumbass, gets together with the star sanses romantically, and then is like, ya'll I dont feel romantic attraction so they get together platonically

[altschmerzes]

the thing about carmy berzatto is that he is the exact kind of character that Captivates me because he is oozing ptsd and aromanticism every second he is on screen

[1mnobodywhoareyou]

honestly one of the worst parts about coming to terms with queerness as an adult is your partner making it about them

"aren't you attracted to me?"

"were you ever attracted to me?"

"was it all just a lie?"

etc etc etc