#cause like. no one wants to engage with someone who starts off the bat with that

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is getting really annoyed with the relationships unit in your sociology class because the whole thing is just 100% amatonormativity.

:\

if think your teacher, professor, and/or TAs might be interested in discussing the concept, I have some idea of bringing up the topic?

I'd personally say something like, "Hi, During our section in sociology around relationships, I couldn't help but think it would be interesting to discuss how a sociological theory called "amatonormativity" might relate to these lessons. I gathered a few sources from the professor who coined it, a thesis written on it, and a law review written about the connection between it and laws in the USA. There's some connections between its use in feminist thought and in queer theories, and I'd love to know your thoughts about it. I personally was thinking of when [specific statement] was said, and how I would apply this theory. I hope it's as interesting to you as it is to me."

Coiner's current webpage: https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/

Thesis: https://vc.bridgew.edu/honors_proj/330/ (click download in upper right hand corner for the PDF, depending on the individual it may be worth downloading and sending that rather than a link)

Law Review: https://uclawreview.org/2022/06/09/amatonormativity-in-the-law-an-introduction/

[saylorsaysstop]

REPUTATION ERA | Bat Boys

What song/lyrics describe your relationship with a Bat Boy?

↪ Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome! ⭐️

↪ My Masterlist

BRUCE WAYNE 🖤 | KING OF MY HEART

"Late in the night, the city's asleep Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep Change my priorities The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury."

When Bruce Wayne saw you, he was starstruck. Women had enticed him throughout his years as Gotham's most eligible bachelor but none of those women made him come to a dead stop in the middle of a crowded room and lose his breath. But you did.

The moment his hand brushed yours in greeting, his heart somersaulted in his chest. This feeling, this emotion - it was foreign to him. Alfred had never seen Master Wayne speechless. As he strives to protect Gotham, Bruce does the same with your heart.

You were royalty in his eyes. The way you commanded a room with the simple wave of a hand, how you impressed anyone who crossed your path. It was an immediate decision Bruce made in his head that he couldn't survive another night without you being his.

He was the king of secrets considering his masked identity, but Bruce never felt the urge to keep his love for you a secret. He wanted to lock the two of you behind closed doors, not because he was embarrassed or ashamed, but because he was terrified of another man sweeping you off your feet. Bruce Wayne. Scared to lose a woman. Who would've thought?

No fancy car or gadget could ever compare to the soft luxury of your lips on his. Bruce loved to say that you were a drug and he was an addict, never wanting to go to rehab to get you out of his system.

What's Gotham going to think when he finally gets engaged to you?

DICK GRAYSON 💙 | DRESS

"Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try And if I get burned, at least we were electrified I'm spilling wine in the bathtub You kiss my face and we're both drunk Everyone thinks that they know us But they know nothing about,"

The love between you and Dick is like touching a live wire. It electrified and every spark between you is brighter than the rest. He started as your best friend and quickly turned into more- so much more. Nights where you raided Bruce's alcohol stash after Wayne Manor parties, both of you drunk and making out like teenagers with your hands all over each other.

The confessions of love spoken in private between each other. The line of your friendship was easily blurred the moment Dick made it known that he had such strong feelings for you. The first time his lips brushed yours, you were nearly swept off your feet at the erupting butterflies in your belly.

Dick became a lifeline. He made you feel beautiful. Everyone thought they knew the story between you and Dick, but needless to say, no one knew the truth. You and Dick have a love that people desire for themselves.

JASON TODD ❤️ | CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT

"'Cause my baby's fit like a daydream Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to My baby's fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to,"

Jason getting close to someone after everything he endured hadn't been easy. But when his heart leaped ahead ten paces before his mind could and he found himself entangled with you, he knew he belonged nowhere else except in the comfort of your arms. Jason stole your breath the moment you laid eyes on him. With his honed physique and dark hair, you were a sucker for whatever he had in store for you.

You loved Jason more than the world. He claimed to never own you, although he found it undeniably attractive to know you wear a chain around your neck with a little J dangling from it. You loved the idea of him being yours and you would gladly sport your love in public for the man.

Jason wasn't quick to add a label to what you two were doing, afraid that he'd jump too far ahead. He had been let down so many times in his life that he wasn't willing to sacrifice his heart for a woman... But when you laid in his arms and told him you wanted him for good, Jason's anxiety was immediatley lifted, and Red Hood's heart cracked to let line and golden warmth whoosh through it.

He vowed to make every day spent with him better than the last, even if some nights he came home in defeat. He knew that when he got to hold you in his arms, everything he worked so hard to fight for would be worth it.

TIM DRAKE ☕️ | DELICATE

"Long night with your hands up in my hair Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share."

What Tim didn't admit to his brothers and Bruce first was the nature of his relationship with you. Tim had always been the cautious one, the one who thought of everything from beginning to finish. So when he stumbled across you and wound up in bed with you that night for a string of hookups that quickly became more, Tim knew he was in it with you for the long run.

Your little apartment thirty minutes away from Wayne Manor was easy to access for Tim to sneak to after patrol. You gave him a spare key and the moment you'd hear his footsteps on your staircase, your adrenaline would skyrocket, your skin would grow hot, and before you knew what was happening, Tim's hands would be running through your hair and claiming your mouth in the dirtiest of ways.

Your entire relationship with him from the first spark to the inferno that rages between you two had been nothing short of delicate. You didn't have such a good reputation in Gotham City, especially as the daughter of a crimelord Batman was in the throes of stopping, but Tim couldn't care less because you were good.

The thought of sharing Tim with anyone else infuriated you. With such a delicate relationship blooming between the two of you, you swore with everything in you that you'd treat Tim with the utmost loyalty and respect, two values he had no issue giving in return.

[system-of-a-feather]

Full Integration, Final Fusion, Functional Multiplicitly, and General "Spirituality"

(Disclaimer: this is a very long post)

Heyyo, this is a bit of a hodgepodge of connected topics that I was thinking on this morning. For those that don't know, after like three months of being a really solid fused whole, we really decided that we needed to redivide back into our core parts to recenter, rebalance, and reorganize ourselves since our fused whole was loosing sight / vision of the "plot". We don't consider this "splitting" because we are still in - what we like to call "full integration" - and we don't really engage in much dissociation when we do this as the means of how we do this largely stems from the way we perceive, engage with, and view the concept of "self" and "identity." Our system highly values the mastery and art of a very fluid and ever changing sense of identity and self. This morning - thank you Chunn brain for batting our collective brain from the usual urge to get out of bed and get started with our day to give us time to really sit with our inner selves - we spent about an hour and a half and a small half hour nap just laying there thinking among ourselves and I wanted to share a few.

I think at the moment I am still mostly a fused whole and I had considered trying to go to Ray or Lin for them to write this, but it didn't feel right to go to Ray brain and Lin brain directly told me "Dude, this thought line started with Riku-dominant fused brain, trying to have someone else write it would be a disservice to the reflection. Let Riku or Riku-dominant fused brain do it, it's their thought." and you know, fair point. I think I'll use this post as a temporary "bye few thoughts" and love letter to our parts as a fused whole before leaving it to the individual specialists to do their things.

So introduction to this post aside, hello and temporary soon to be farewell before I choose to temporarily redivide into my main parts. Today is May 15, 2024 and I'm gonna document this a bit for when I come back whenever that is and kind of see if my fused-whole perspective and nature changes - mostly for myself. Online I go by Feathers, irl I just go by our chosen name.

I'm a (mostly, technically non-denominational independent, but most of my views and perspectives come from and align closely with) Zen Buddhist. I'm nonbinary vaguely transmasc (not really though?) intersex individual with the pronouns of they/them. I am extremely pro-endo and if I honestly felt like sticking around longer, I was thinking about writing a much more nuanced essay on tulpa-terminology discourse with my current reflections as a fused whole and as a pretty avid Buddhist but, unforunately, unless one of my parts still shares the same insight AND interest, that essay will have to wait for me to potentially be back (hey, Riku or Chunn might still want to who knows). I dunno what else to say, I love bird, Bleach, walking, driving, listening to music, video games, writing, art? I dunno man, I'm just me.

Documentation aside anyways, I gotta figure out where I want to start. I think I will actually piss my high-school English teachers off and start with the LAST thing in the title card. I might loose a lot of close minded white anti-endos here, but hey, if you are that close minded, then its your loss cause I'm just talking about late-stage recovery as a person with diagnosed DID that is considered polyfragmented. It's a fun conversation to have with other people with DID aiming for recovery so, if you're hell bent on hating people talking about plurality form a non-DID lens enough to disregard cool information, that's your loss. (Thank you XIV brain, crediting that to you for part of our goal today)

Buddhism, Spirituality, Plurality and Our Perspective of Full Integration

According to Buddhism, and one of the largest concepts and principles of Buddhism that we believe the most in and actively work to practice and cultivate the mindset of - is that the concept of "I" and the concept of a singular, distinct, and separate self from the world and others simply does not exist - only the experience and illusion of experience exists. I was talking about it with @quoigenicfromhell in DMs since they were interested in talking shop about Buddhism.

To save myself a whole effort of rewriting a discussion on how one can hold together the clear sensation of existing and being an individual with the idea and Buddhist understanding that the "self" does not exist, I'm going to copy a little bit of what I wrote in response to them. If it doesn't make sense cause its in a bit of Buddhist jargon, then oh well, I'm lazy, it's written for an audience that has done some reading and looking into Buddhist thought so RIP yall srry not srry (Thank you Chunn brain lol)

Honestly the development and understanding of holding those two things together (the non-self and non-existence with the clear experience of self and existence) is largely a lot of exploration on the understanding and respect for the experience without applying too much value or regard to said experience. Its kind of a hard thing to understand just based off of words alone and like all things Buddhism, its one of those sorts of things you really gotta sit on and explore in your own mental space, but like

The experience of self and personhood and existence is a denied concept in Buddhist thought, but its not a bad or incorrect thing, the experience of self and existence is kind of considered an inherent expression of life and the world and while its important to be cognicent that it is an illusion that can cause suffering and muddy an individuals ability to see Things As They Are, the experience and illusion of self is additionally an entirely natural thing to experience and is an important part of being able to, well, be

I kinda of personally perceive it kind of similarly to say a part in a system. Innately the part is not (at least in my experiences of systemhood) a literal entire separate being and thats an important thing to acknowledge for a number of reasons (life organization and direction, system accountability, etc) but its would also be incredibly foolish to completely ignore that the part operates, experiences themselves, and lives in the world (both inner and outer) as if they were an individual of their own

In the same sense that a part in a system can be seen both as an individual and a part of a whole / collective depending on what perspective and demands the moment needs. An individual can be seen both as the individual expression of a self informed by the arguably incorrect illusion of isolation OR as a part of the whole worlds expression depending on what serves the moment the best. I largely kind of see myself as part of a system that is the world much like I see my parts as part of a system that is "me". While the self may be an illusion, its not an experience that can be denied and it is an innate expression that in its own right can prove to be a great teacher So you deny the concept of a self but respect and revere the experience and innate natural expression of self

With that context in mind, while we do not believe in the concept of self and find that trying to seek out a concrete idea of a singular person and singular self in society is a source of extreme suffering, stress, and displeasure, we DEEPLY revere and honor the expression of self. As we see it, in a complete ideal and impossible the world would be in perfect harmony if we let the world express itself as it naturally does. We find that the experiences of self - in whatever form they take - are inherent and natural expressions of the world as a whole and to try to shape oneself to fit a specific image - may that be societally imposed or internally / personally imposed or a sense of envy or any sort of clinging or desire to a specific version / image of self - is a disrespect to the innate beauty found in the natural expression and a means of adding disharmony into the world.

As a result, our system and whole aims deeply, above almost all else to exist simply as we naturally would in any moment time to time. If we find that something we are doing with our sense of self is drawn and influenced too much on a "I should" or "I want" or "I wish" or "I hope" then we tend to pause, self reflect, and ask if we are actually existing in our natural state, or are we trying to fight against our natural state of self to fit into a self-imposed idea of what we "should be".

As a result of that, our system deeply values our flexibility, fluidity, and ability to change any aspect of ourselves, any opinion we hold, any identity label we consider, and our overall presentation in all ways and forms to a very high level. The desire to be consistent and predictable serves us little in simply practicing on "being" and finding the true and simply-run life that we want. That then results in why our system so casually flips around in system size, fusions, redivisions, how we refer to ourselves, etc. We find very little value in committing to labels and concepts and do whatever is natural for us.

Additionally, another large aspect of Buddhism our system deeply reveres and appreciates is the acknowledgement that there are "Buddhas" - or in less Jargon terms, potential for everything both internal and external to be teachers and guides into finding a sense of peace and simplicity in the world - and that it is deeply important to cultivating peace, happiness, and insight to actively always be seeking out the "Buddha" in everything and everyone. It's important to reflect, engage with, and talk with those "Buddhas" as they are the best and number one way to gain the insight that brings happiness and peace into life and removes excessive suffering and stress.

As many Buddhists agree (at least of the Mahayanan branches), everyone is inherently a Buddha because the world and everything is a Buddha. The only issue people have is that they can not connect, hear, and see clearly enough to be in that state due to a large number of human conditions - one large one being the aforementioned illusion of self.

Having lived my life as someone with DID and having gone through a lot of trauma therapy, self reflection, communication and coordination with my parts, and all that to the point we have reached functional multiplicity over a year plus ago and been able to hold a fully fused state for over three months, I feel like its a given to say that of ALL things in the world, the "Buddha nature" of my parts have been the best and most insightful teachers I've ever had. We revere each other's strengths and specialties greatly as each of us have taught the other great strengths, great understandings, great insights, and great appreciations that have collectively brought us so much peace and happiness. It's not to say any part is "enlightened" because each part is also deeply flawed and struggling in their own realms, but it is largely by working and talking and supporting one another and ACTIVELY looking to one another for insight and lessons about the world and our existence that we are able to reach a uniquely peaceful space.

For us, its an incredibly important practice - both for self care and in the art / spirituality of Buddhism - to regularly talk and engage with these specialized and uniquely-wise (and uniquely stupid - thank you XIV) parts of ourselves to gain deeper insight and overall understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

In the same sense, it is why - despite being completely capable of operating as a fully fused whole - we regularly choose to INTENTIONALLY redivide into our parts. And no, its not us "splitting again" or even really throwing up any real level of dissociation / dissociative barriers. If anything, we usually do this through meditation and mindfulness.

It's a Buddhist practice, its not a mental disorder and its not stemming from the same mechanism's DID stems from. It might operate *based* on the foundation our history with DID stems from, but at this point in our healing, the way our system operates at functional multiplicity that is intentionally chosen to be that way AFTER reaching "final fusion" has a number of differences from how it operated before we reached general full integration.

Again, for those more familiar with the tulpa-terminology discussion, you might be able to see where I would have a long post delving into a highly nuanced and more middle-ground perspective of that syscourse from the paragraph above this one, but I'm gonna leave that cause I already know this post is long and it would detract from the purpose.

At this point, my system is mostly an "intentionally created one" to Western label standards. We personally do not see any significance or binary in plural VS singular people beyond it being a label some people identify with and not. Plural VS Singular is a false binary perpetuated in white, western, and european society and while I respect that perspective and view in a space that is primarily filled with white, western, and/or european individuals, I am going to firmly state that and expect you to give me that same respect. (and if you refuse to give me that same respect, then you are close minded and being very white / western lmao <- thank you XIV, again)

And so the other related but slightly different topic away from the more philosophical, esoteric, mysticism sounding topic of Buddhism...

Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicitly

At this point, what we used to call "Wishiwashi Recovery" we kind of have taken to just calling "full integration" generally as a means of really breaking apart the suggested categorical and boxed binary of "final fusion" and "functional multiplicity" as our own experience and discussion with other systems at and near full integration have made us realize that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is FAR more a spectrum than it is two seperate categories. Some systems stick to one end, some to the others, but the largest difference is in external and internal expression of the parts and less any fundamental or biological / clinical difference; at least not in terms of integration. (Note: Integration =/= Fusion; Integration is the general connectivity and accessibility of parts with less / limited / no dissociation)

It's a false binary to say Final Fusion or Functional Multiplicity and its why a lot of the "ones bad and ones good" syscourse is dumb. They're two heads of the same Doduo and they should be kissing. (JOKING, thank you Riku-Aya brain)

With that said, our system, as we've made clear, regularly and freely practices sliding and flying all over that spectrum as just how we like to engage with ourselves. We change between the two as we see fit and having spent probably like 9~ months in functional multiplicity and 3~ months in final fusion I wanted to share some pros and cons of both sides.

I would also like to put a disclaimer that this isn't meant to be "positives and why this side sucks" as much as it is the differences in life style according to our opinion and our experience. Both final fusion and functional multiplicity are absolutely WONDERFUL things overall and we love both states. If we got "stuck" in either, we would still be immensely happy. The purpose of this part is just to share certain differences in how we experience the two different ends. The Cons in these case are only "cons" relative to the "alternative" and not "to not ever reaching either"

Functional Multiplicity Pros:

A lot more clear and direct communication between parts internally that allows for a SHIT ton of internal banter, productive conversation about complex topic and perspectives from unique and diverse perspectives; the communication is a lot more intentional and a lot more in focus so its easier to properly sit and attend to the complex differences and sometimes conflicting directions

It's honestly just a lot of fun, not gonna lie. A lot more dramatic and extravagant expression + brain friends in a more overt sense

Easier to let certain parts of the brain take "breaks" - it's not the same as it is with not-fully-integrated DID but compared to Full Fusion, certain parts of the brain can "tune out" easier than not

More palatable to DID / OSDD spaces online

Easier to focus and use a wide variety of skills, interests, hobbies, and thinking patterns by simply just having a specialist part take their look at it

Generally easier to target specific boxes to look into as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Pros:

Quick and a lot more inherent understanding of all parts on a general gut level without necessarily needing to fully think about everything and listen to every opinion and perspective; there is a lot more of an inherent understanding, trust, and awareness of the collective whole which makes decision making and seeing whats good for the system as a whole a lot easier

It's honestly way more calming, relaxing, and solid feeling. There is a unique sense of confidence, understanding, and trust within yourself and you have a HUGE arsenal of skills and interests that come from the combined parts that you've lived as

You are a lot more present and aware of your life and you actually get to live YOUR life and have all parts of yourself be engaged in life; no part feels really left behind or is caught off guard from having their brain partially turned off. The awareness is really present and engagement is so much more complete.

More palatable in real life and non-DID/OSDD spaces

Easier to simultaneously use skills from multiple parts at once; very much a jack of all trades all at once situation

Generally easier to integrate multiple complex and otherwise seemingly detatched boxes of memory and the past as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Functional Multiplicity Cons:

Takes more intention, focus, and often time to get the same level of full understanding of the whole system when making decisions. It can be slow and it requires a lot more internal engagement which can make it harder to be fully present in life

Sometimes you can get what I call "lite" amnesia where a part was not paying attention and doesn't fully process what was going on / what is going on and so sometimes you get poor attention-driven "amnesia". It's small and easily recovered by simply going "hold up wait" and thinking back or asking another part

Harder to use skills from different parts at the same time; albeit definitely still possible and only "harder" relative to final fusion

Generally harder / requires intentional discussion between parts to integrate multiple complex boxes as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Cons:

Less direct and overt bantering and discussion between parts (still present by the way, just less frequent and less overt). It can be a little less fun (still is fun cause they are sill there) and it can be a bit harder to fully see the extent of a more extreme perspective

It can be tiring and overwhelming to be aware and present so much for so long if you were accustomed to the breaks DID / OSDD tends to give parts

Easier to forget to use a lot of the skills and hobbies that may have been more niche to less-dominant and less-prominent parts; you don't "loose" the skills, you just aren't accustomed to using them as much so you can just kinda forget to use them

Harder to focus on a targetted recovered memory / information that you want to process and can sometimes be a bit overwhelming trying to connect a number of things at once

And this is all just to say that both are absolutely astonishing and great places to mentally be. The main point is that - for us - sometimes one state works better for us in the moment and another state works better for us later and that's completely cool cause - as aforementioned - the difference between plural vs singular is not a binary one for us anyways.

Anyways, I don't know how to wrap this up so I'mma just post it

Ideally today we will focus on cultivating our independent parts and return to Functional Multiplicity end of the spectrum so I guess tata for now

-Feathers

EDIT and PS: Anyone is allowed to add their thoughts to this so long it is in good faith.

[miercoooles]

Only for You

Summary: You have never seen him remove his mask, not even when Luke took Grogu away.

Pairing: Din Djarin x Former Jedi GN!Reader, Luke Skywalker x Platonic!Reader (kinda?)

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Season 2 spoilers, Angst (it took a turn, ig), talks about past trauma, no use of y/n, cursing, fluff maybe?, and ofc awfully written

A/N: I don’t know if anyone has written something like this, it’s more of a self-indulgent fic just because. I made this to be fluff, idk how that turned out ;-; Also please be nice, this is my first ever Mando fic.

Comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated!

Din Djarin or better known as “the Mandalorian” for others, was a man of few words. When he first stumbled upon you on a mission, he didn’t even bother to bat an eye. It was because of the little green foundling, Grogu, who took interest and became immediately fond of you, that forced the bounty hunter to take you aboard the Razor Crest.

During the first six months you have spent with him, your relationship with Mando remained stagnant and purely professional. He only saw you as a colleague, someone who can help him accomplish tasks quicker, and take Grogu off his hands when he has something important to do or so that was what you thought. Although, you can’t say the same for yourself because you were attracted to the masked man, whom you have never even seen the face of. 

Today was no different when he asked you to accompany him in collecting supplies and resources as it was running low. As you were about to leave the ship and follow him, Grogu swaddled to you and embraced your leg, not letting you go. “Me and Mando will just go out and gather supplies, little one.” You explained to him, crouching down and carrying him back to his makeshift cradle. Grogu whined, shaking his head in protest and reaching his arms back for you to carry him back. 

“I can’t, little one. Don’t worry, we’ll be quick.” You assured him, caressing his head. Once he made a satisfied grumble, you let go of him and gave him one more wave before rushing outside the ship. 

“You clearly took your time.” Din stated, and you didn’t have to see his face to know that he was annoyed.

You rolled your eyes at him walking past him, your shoulders brushing against his beskar. “Well you can’t really blame me, can you? Little Grogu didn’t want to let go of me.”, you retorted, shrugging and looking over your shoulder prior to sticking your tongue out like a child.

You heard him grumble something about him being the one who saved Grogu but is more attached to you, which made you laugh.

A few months later, you can safely say that your relationship with the head of the ship improved. He started engaging in conversations with you more often, joined in your daily activities a.k.a. playing with Grogu, and even taught you his native language, Mando’a, and trained you self-defence in case he wasn’t on the Crest.

Be that as it may, you’re unsafe to say that the relationship you have developed with the Mandalorian caused your little crush on him to bloom into something more treacherous. There were often times where you found yourself thinking and daydreaming about him as well as imagining how he looks without his helmet on to the point where you get too distracted doing your routines. 

A year has passed since Grogu went with Luke to train and ever since then, things between you and the bounty hunter have changed. He grew distant and cold towards you as if the friendship you have established has turned into nothing but dust, and it left you confused as you returned to the first step. But you missed the little goblin whomst you had created a bond with, and you missed the relationship you’ve previously had with the Mandalorian.

You sat on the co-captain’s chair in the cockpit, staring in the distance as your mind aimlessly wandered in your thoughts while you waited for the bounty hunter to return from his current mission. You spun your chair as you replayed that night the Jedi ransacked the ship.

Just as Djarin rescued Grogu, another alarm rang through the cruiser when a X-wing fighter flew past it. You were so engrossed by the ship landing on the dock that you did not notice Grogu appear on your lap and watched along with you. Silence loomed across the room, as a hooded figure dismounted the ship. The moment you saw the green lightsaber flash from the mystery man’s hand, you felt as if a bucket of ice water fell on you.

Grogu seemed to have noticed your change in demeanour that he made concerned, little gurgling noises that pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked at him and caressed his head, giving him a small smile to assure him you’re alright. 

As Gideon saw the commotion bother the crowd, he took his chance, pulling out his blaster and shooting Kryze, pummeling her to the floor. He then turned around to aim at you and Grogu, but Mando was quick to act and jumped in front of you as you shielded Grogu. 

Opening your eyes, you saw Gideon knocked out on the ground and Grogu reaching his hands up to the monitor wherein the not so mysterious man (to you anyway) just finished the dark troopers. You heard Djarin command someone to open the doors, but you were too fixated on the man walking towards it that you did not hear who. 

Once the door is open, the man removes his hood revealing his face. No one said a word as his eyes travelled and studied each person in the room, definitely searching for someone. When you met his gaze, he looked at you with familiarity, making you look away. 

“I am Luke Skywalker”, he introduced himself. You discreetly rolled your eyes at the mention of his name. 

“Are you a Jedi?” Din asked, to which Skywalker answered and confirmed. You turned your chair so your back is facing him, Grogu, on the other hand, peeked at the side of the chair, interested in the man. 

You heard Luke call onto Grogu, you looked down at the foundling who hasn’t moved an inch. “He doesn’t want to go with you.” The masked man said, stepping forward. Luke went on explaining that Grogu was asking for Mando’s permission to allow him and that the Jedi will do his best to protect the Child with his life and train him which made you scoff. 

You did not have to look to know that the bounty hunter was reluctant in letting Grogu go, but you both knew that was what he was meant to do. So when you heard his footsteps coming towards you, you faced him and handed him the Child. 

“Go on, little one. That’s who you belong with, he’s one of your kind. I’ll see you again, I promise.” Mando assured the little one, but you knew that he was also assuring himself that they will be reunited again.

You watched them intently as the Child held up his hand to touch the beskar helmet of Djarin. You heard about Djarin and his affiliations with The Children of the Watch. You also know that group teaches its foundlings that they should never reveal their identity to the presence of another living being. So when you saw him clutch the material that covered his identity, you turned your chair away from him, respecting the belief of the group he is in.

You felt trinkets of water on your cheeks as you heard Mando usher the Child to go with Luke.  Once you heard your partner put his helmet back on, you assumed that the Jedi master already left, and you huffed out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, thinking you were finally safe. Or that’s what you thought…

“I see you’ve joined the other side,” the blonde spoke up, proving your assumptions wrong and making you inhale sharply as he was clearly talking about you.

You felt everyone’s eyes fall on you, but you were particular about only one. You felt Djarin’s eyes drill holes at you with curiosity through his helmet, and he did not have to remove it for you to figure out that he was baffled about what was unfolding in front of him.

You spun your chair once more to face him, glaring at him and crossing your arms. “So? What is it to you?”, you retorted sassily.

“Ah, still the same old you. It’s nothing really,  I just never expected it, especially with you.” He taunted.

“Oh really? I would beg to differ.” You protested, quirking your eyebrow and leaning forward. “Or have you already forgotten what you did to me?”

Luke stayed quiet for a moment, speechless that you remembered what happened years ago. “You know I never meant for that to happen.” 

What he said infuriated you, but you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, fisting your hand. “I never left you on purpose. I was needed elsewhere. I had a duty. And if I had let you know, would you have let me go? I don’t think so because you wouldn’t have understood anything since what do you know about duty and responsibilities, huh?” He continued, raising his voice as he defended his previous actions.

That stunned you, but he was right. You had no sense of duty as you were a young, reckless, and carefree person. You had no care for your responsibilities. You wanted your life to be filled with fun and joy, not with stress and worry. You had potential with the Force even Kenobi foresaw that, and had you taken your training seriously, your skills would be equalling Luke on a par or duel, maybe even bested him. But you had let your childishness win. Yet he had no right whatsoever to talk to you like that, like he knew what happened to you. 

You stood up from where you were seated and started striding towards him, forgetting the existence of the others. “How dare you speak to me that way, Luke Skywalker. Do you have any idea of what I went through the moment you left? NO! You have no idea what hell I have experienced and encountered when you abandoned me. You have no idea about the pains and sacrifices I made in order to get back up again. You have no clue how long it took me to fix and find myself once more. I waited for years Luke, years thinking you would return for me but no, you never did. I felt like I had no purpose anymore, but thanks to them…”, You argued, looking at Din Djarin before continuing. “I found it again. Without them, I would probably still be wandering the outskirts of wherever. I was saved by them, by Grogu and Djarin.” 

Once you were face to face with him, you pointed your finger at him, stopping the urge to slap him, “You have not one shittiest hint of what I have been through, so you have no right to talk to me like that. You were the only one I had, you were my best friend, yet it seemed so easy for you to leave me. I only wished you told me, then maybe it would have been easier for me.” You whisper-shouted, your lips quivering as you held back your tears and softly punched his shoulders, avoiding to hurt the Child.

You felt yourself become light-headed from all the emotions that you let out. The last thing you felt was strong, cold arms catching you before your vision turned dark and passed out. 

When you woke up, you looked over to the side hoping to see the man you were completely infatuated with, instead you were disappointed when you were met by Bo Katan.  When she saw you open your eyes, she immediately told you that Grogu went with Luke to become his apprentice. You scrambled on your feet, Kryze behind you as you searched the whole ship looking for any signs of Grogu, but there was none. And that broke you even more as you never got to say goodbye.

An hour or so has passed by and you were still deep in thought not hearing the bounty hunter return from his assignment. He removed his armour, leaving his helmet on as he went to look for you in the ship. When he found you, he saw you lost in thought, your chin placed on your palm. He let out a sigh, leaning against the doorframe and watched your reflection on the window.

Before he left, he told you that he was going out to complete a mission he accepted, the truth was he went to see Ahsoka. The confrontation that happened between you and the Jedi bothered and confused him. He thought that the connection you both had meant you trusted him enough to tell him those kinds of things, apparently he was wrong and expected too much that he ended up getting hurt in the process. 

The feelings he had towards you puzzled him, and he wondered if there was a chance that you felt the same towards him. But seeing how you and Luke fought, he gave that thought up and started distancing himself to lessen the pain. He knew what he was doing affected you both badly, but he thought it was for the best.

And although he believes that what happened that night doesn’t hurt him anymore, he knows deep inside that he’s only lying to himself, especially because it was the night where he had to let go of his ‘kid’. But what wounded him more than it should was that it was Baby Grogu that bridged him to you. During your first encounter, he only saw you as a burden. But the immediate close proximity you have made with the Child, allowed him to give you the benefit of the doubt and accepted you anyway. 

He stayed distant, watching you and Grogu interact and play while he worked or rested. In those moments, he felt his cold heart warm up to you, thinking that maybe it would not be so bad to make a bond with you. Afterall, you’ve known each other for how many months already. 

So in a few months, he joined you whenever he had nothing to do, helping you in taking care of Grogu or just spending time with you and getting to know you better. As you got together frequently, his feelings evolved. Being with you made him at ease, made him feel he was safe. You welcomed him with open arms and open heart, not once making him feel uncomfortable or judged. He trusted you and became most vulnerable only to you, the first he has done in a while. But the thing about you that he cannot fathom was that there was something about being around your presence that he could not keep away from even just for a second. 

And after everything, after seeing and learning about the things you kept secret from him, all he gravely wanted to do was pull you closer to his embrace and comfort you. He wishes to be there for you as you let the walls you built for years break. He craves to be the person who you will look for and run to when you need someone like how he is to you. He longs to be the person whom you would be comfortable to show the real you without any filters. He aches to be the one to put and protect that beautiful smile and laugh of yours. And he yearns to hold you, to have you in his arms, to shower you with kisses, to tell you what he truly feels about you, to wake up beside you, and to be able to call you his best friend and lover. 

That was the main reason why he visited Ahsoka because he had no clue about what he felt and how to express it. When the former Jedi master confronted him and told him bluntly that what he felt was love, he instantly denied that idea until she asked him a series of questions about you. And when he realised it, he promptly stood up and thanked her before sprinting as fast as his legs could back to the ship.

Which brings him to now, still watching you. He observed you quietly, wondering what it was that put you deep in thought. He loves it whenever you use that wonderful brain of yours because you have an adorable habit of scrunching your eyebrows together and pouting your lips. 

The moment he saw a teardrop fall from your cheek, he felt his heart shatter. Maybe he doesn’t know the reason but he wasn’t completely heartless. His legs quietly carried him to you, sitting down beside you and wiping your tear stained cheeks, startling you.

You withdrew yourself from his touch, frantically looking elsewhere as you felt his eyes scan, possibly trying to figure out what you were thinking. “Hey Mando! Since when did you get back?” You asked nervously, your fingers fidgeting and legs bouncing.

He hummed before sitting on his respective chair and facing you. “Just a while back. Can I ask you something?” He queried, his voice heavy due to the modulation of his helmet. “You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable.”, he continued, checking your body language to see if you were okay with it. You squirmed in your seat, feeling seen by him before nodding, eyes still averted from him, “Ask away, amigo.”

“Why have you never told me?” You looked at him, your eyebrows knitting together, “Never told you what exactly?” Although you can’t see him do it, he rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrow at you. “I mean, why have you never told me that you were a Jedi warrior? I thought that maybe by that time before that Luke guy appeared, we already earned each other’s trust.”

The question took you by surprise, not that you weren’t expecting him to ask, you just didn’t think he would ask you now since it has been a year already. For the first time, you understood why he pushed you away, he felt like you had not trusted him enough to not give him this information that it hurt him. 

You finally found the courage to look at him, and you have no idea what he’s thinking or what his expression is behind his mask, making you more jittery. 

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, sighing it out before opening them once more to look at him. “I presumed that I did not have to remember that chapter of my life once I joined your journey. I never expected Luke to appear out of nowhere and bring that part of my life up. As for never telling you, I did not want to share to you the burden of guilt I carry. You have so much on your shoulders already, that it felt right to just never let you know as I have left it. Maybe also because I was scared that your perception of me would differ when you find out. ”

Your sight dropped to your lap, your thumbs playing with one another, and your whole body trembled as you finished. You couldn’t look at him now, you felt vulnerable as you held back your tears. There was nothing but deafening silence and it scared you because the thoughts in your head are saying that he sees you differently and more disgusting now than ever. But those thoughts evaporated the moment he placed his right hand on yours, caressing it while his left hand softly cupped your chin and moved it up so he could see your face. 

His left hand continued moving, stroking your cheeks with his knuckles. You released a relieved sigh as you leaned into his touch. “Darling, I would never look at you differently just because our races hated each other. And I’m sorry if I ever hurt you by distancing myself away. It just felt…” 

You pulled your right hand away and placed it on his helmet, gesturing for him to stop. “You don’t have to explain, okay? I should have told you because we made a promise that there should be no secrets between us.” 

It was now your turn to place your hand on the cheeks of his cold headgear, running the pad of your thumb against the cold surface. He broke away from your touch, withdrawing his hands from you and moving it towards the end of his helmet. That was when it hit you he was going to take it off for you, but before he could you stopped him. 

“Wait, what are you trying to do?”

“Well before you stopped me, I was going to remove my helmet.” He quipped, making you giggle. 

“No I knew that, you idiot. I meant why are you doing it? Don’t you have some sort of belief that you shouldn’t show your face to others?” You asked innocently, tilting your head out of curiosity. Din chuckled at the thought of you being dense. 

“We did say there should be no secrets between us, right?.”

“Right, but doesn’t mean you have to do that especially if you feel like you’re being forced to. And you already went against that vow when you removed it for Grogu, I don’t want you to do the same just for me.” He laughed at your explanation, the modulation of his voice vibrating to your spine, making you shudder. 

“For a genius, you can be the densest person. I already broke the oath for Grogu, so it doesn’t really matter anymore. But even before that, if you had asked me to show myself to you, I would have taken the chance and done it anyway.” 

What he professed dumbfounded you. “I? You? Wha? Why?”, was the only thing you managed to articulate, smart right?

“Because…”, he trailed off. “Because you are worth breaking the commitment I made to The Tribe. You are the first thing I think of when I wake up, and my last thought before I go to bed, you smile at me in my dreams. And only for you, I would risk everything even if it meant getting outcasted by my race since you mean everything to me and I love you beyond the galaxies and more.”

With that he removed the last piece of beskar armour he had on, placing it on his lap and officially revealing his identity to you. Your mind still not comprehending what he said, added with the fact he showed his face to you, had you feeling hundreds and thousands of swirling emotions.

Concerned at your stillness, he asked, “Am I that ugly?” pulling you out of your thoughts. 

Blinking your eyes, it hit you that he was there without the headpiece. “Oh my Gooooood!” You exclaimed, astonished by how good he looks.

“Is that a good thing?”, he asked once more, scratching the back of his nape. You nodded your head vigorously. You stared at his features, remembering every detail, in case you’ll never see it again. 

He has tousled brown hair from removing his helmet. His eyes were a twinkling chocolate brown doe orbs that seemed to hypnotise you as you stared into it. He had soft and pale red lips. Topping off his features was a peppered stubble that scattered on his jaw and a moustache that made him look more serious and mature. 

You timidly move your hand to his cheek, afraid that in a blink of an eye, you will wake up and everything you saw  was a dream and t’was too good to be true. He softly gripped your wrist, eagerly placing your palm on his cheeks, making you wheeze at his impatience. 

Once your skins’ touch, you stroked his cheeks, feeling the roughness of his stubble underneath your palm. When you made eye contact, you gave him a soft smile. And it didn’t go unnoticed that his eyes flickered to your lips for a moment.

“Would you mind if I kissed you?” He asked with no shame, taking you off guard and making you choke on your own saliva. You smacked him in the chest, and he just raised his eyebrow.

“So can I?” You pretended to think for a moment before nodding. “I need verbal consent, darling.” He drawled, leaning forward and boring his eyes into yours. You cannot deny that letting his gentleness lead him gave you butterflies, once more falling head over heels in love with the tin man.

“Yes Din, kiss me please.” You begged, and in one swift motion, he leaned towards you and pressed his lips against yours. 

You had thoughts that the kiss you two would share would be heavenly, but you had not expected it to be this good. His lips were soft and light like feathers against yours. His hand held the side of your neck, the pad of his thumb grazing your jaw, while the other found itself on your thighs as he gave it a comforting and reassuring squeeze, resulting in a satisfactory sigh coming from you. 

You felt him smile through the kiss before pulling away to catch his breath, making you whine at the loss of contact.

He placed his forehead on yours, piercing into your orbs before mumbling, “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, my mesh'la cyar’ika**” against your lips.

“I love you too, Din.”, placing one more kiss on his lips.

Note: Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, my mesh'la cyar’ika** - I love you, my beautiful darling.

[thehusbandoden]

Words as Sweet as Honey -Aizawa Shota x Reader

A/n: technically this is for a request but also it's givin' me a break O.o

I may write and post another one in a few hours, but no promises! <33

General info:

Genre: fluff // wc: 1,388 // female reader

Summary: Aizawa Shota never knew that words could be anything but hurtful or empty until he met you.

Aizawa Shota brought many different emotions and thoughts from a lot of different people. But almost none of them were endearing.

~

"Moody and grim. Doesn't seem like the type to have a social circle."

"Myserious and untrustworthy. I'm sure he's the traitor of UA."

"Strict and unreliable. He likes to sleep and lie a lot."

~

Were all some of the things Shota heard many times in his lifetime, in the beginning they bothered him, but after a while he develeoped an immunity to such cowardly insults.

He thought words were meaningless and wouldn't affect him anymore. But he never thought that mere words could make him feel so... warm.

It started with one goregous, playful, kind, and bold assistant. She had just got her degree for teaching and started working as an assistant. Even though Aizawa complained about having to 'pick up her slack' Principal Nezu didn't even bat an eye and assigned you to him. A part of him actually thought the two of you would work quite well together and partially hoped you'd take a liking to the tsundere teacher, and he'd do the same for you.

It took so long that he started to loose hope, but after a year and a half Shota asked you out. The two of you dated for nine months before you jumped into engagement, and then marriage three months later.

Nezu was pleased, the students were flabergasted, your fellow coworkers were smug -and a few quite richer then before-, and the two of you finally found somone who made you happy.

Even when Shota was dating you, he kept telling himself that the reason your sugar filled compliments made his face so hot and his knees so weak was because you two were still new. It was exciting to have someone he cared for that felt the same for him, and he was xsurex that you would eventually stop having that effect on him.

And he continued to make exuses and brush your words off until one night three weeks into your marriage.

~~~~

You were both quietly holding one another, him on his back, and you on his chest. After a very meaningful night full of one another and kisses as sweet as honey, you were simply bathing in one another's presense, so in love with eachother that your hearts ached.

"Shota.. you're so goregous.." you murmurred, causing his chest to shake in a chuckle.

"Say what you want Princess."

"I mean it." You replied, holding yourself up to gaze into his dark eyes.

"Okay, whatever floats your boat."

"Shota. You're goregous. Why do you keep thinking otherwise?"

Shota just sighed in annoyance, resting his hand on your head to gently guide you back to his chest.

"Don't worry about it Kitten.. let's just go back to silence."

"No no no. This is important.. why do you keep denying how goregous you are?!"

"Y/n.. I'm sorry for worrying you, I just don't see what you mean, you don't need to worry my love."

"Shota Aizawa. Look at me." You demand, pushing up to grasp his chin, caputring his gaze with your piercing e/c eyes.

"You. Are. Goregous. You are literally the sexiest man alive- I have never seen anyone more attractive then you. Your black eyes that may seem cold but are actually full of love, your smile- though sometimes creepy- is very endearing. Your hair is so soft and dreamy.. and your-"

"Okay okay- that's enough." Shota blushed, face a deep red.

"Do you really?" You ask, eyes piercing his.

"Y-yeah.."

"Good." Releasing your grip on his chin you move it to brush a strand of hair out of his face, staring into his onyx eyes. Leaning down, you pressed your lips against his, kissing him sweetly.

Moving one hand to your waist and another to cheek Shota kissed you back, causing you to hum and entangle your hands into his hair.

~~~~

Since that night Shota acknowledged how your words affected him, letting himself indulge in your honey-sweet words, returning them with his own, one upping you by giving you a breath taking kiss with each compliment.

After a while his world expanded into three people instead of two, your son holding a special place in his heart, mere inches below your own special place.

Aizawa Satoshi, first born son of Aizawa Shota and Aizawa y/n. He was deemed a genious since the beginning, and he shined from his light. He was full of smiles and laughter, he made friends quickly, due to his friendliness and kindess.

He had his Mama's eyes, and his Dada's hair. His facial structure leaned towards his Mama's, but he had his Dad's jawline.

Shota's love continues to grow each day, and so far has had eight beautiful years with his firstborn son. Even though some days were harder then others, he loved his son entirely, and was eternally greatful to you for both carrying and birthing the children the two of you shared.

Next came Emiko, your daughter. Once again she molded another place for herself, completely level with her older brother.

Emiko was sweet as sugar, and made anyone she ran into melt. Like her brother, she smiled all the time, and was a pro at negotiating.

Once again like her brother, she had Dada's hair and Mom's eyes, but she looked identical to her Dad, only resembling her Mom'd appearance with her eyes, height, and nose.

She was loved by all, but her number one fan had to be her brother.

The older boy took care of his sister since day one, she immediately took place as his best friend, and they were inseperable. Even though most days they fought like cats and dogs, if xanyonex dared try and harm her they'd have to go through her big brother, and then had to deal with their parents a few seconds later.

Emiko was only two years younger then Satoshi, and will be turning six in two weeks.

And then came Seji. Much like his older siblings he was full of smiles and kindness, making friends just as easy. Though a bit spoiled, he got along with everyone well.

Unlike his silbings, he had familiar onyx eyes and h/c hair, and instead of resembling most of one of his parents he had a largte mix in him, barely leaning more towards you.

Once again his special spot was level with his siblings, number two in Shota's entire world, mere inches below his Mama. Seji just turned two, and was protected by his entire family- including the cats.

If the Aizawa kids' goregous Mama wasn't enough to convince Shota that words weren't just empty or hurtful, but that they could be full of love, his kids finished the job.

Shota was truly spoiled. Spoiled beyond compare- in his opinion.

Every morning he was greeted by the cutest 'Dada!' or 'Daddy~!', creating a warmth that exploded from his chest, spreading all across his body.

To accompany the sweet nicknames, his kids made sure to tell him that he was very handsome, that they loved him very much, and spread secrets about their Mama.

"Mama said that you were the bestest Daddy ever!"

"Dada, Dada! Mommy says that she loved you a week after you met! Did you love her then too?!"

"Mommy says that she wants another baby!!"

"Daddy~! Mommy bought a pillow with you on it!"

Shota chuckled as the little ones rambled to him, always saving the information to tease you with later.

Due to Shota working so much, he got the kids ready for school, holding Seji the majority of the time, and then poutedly woke you up, apologizing as he gives you your morning, breath taking kiss, and handing you your toddler.

He would then take the older two kids to school and then hurry to UA himself. He would also pick the kids up and then come home to you and Seji, smiling as the toddler grabbed for him, making sure to give you a kiss while shuffling Seji around, making sure both himself and the three year old were comfortable.

Though your family wasn't perfect, and you had many rough patches- as every family does- you all loved one anther greatly, and you would make sure to get through and hard time together, no matter how imposibble it seemed.

~~~~~

Shota's masterlist | Navigation

Tips <3

Reblogs help spread and therefore support my work but any support is appreciated <33

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

A Night In Nice

Chapter Two

Based on this ask and made into a separate post due to being two parts

Rated Explicit (for later on)

Ao3

Chapter One | Chapter Three

Dinner is quiet, nothing that bothers you given Norton is similar to a cat who can enjoy sharing a space with you. That is not to say he does not enjoy how you talk about the day or ask him if he likes the food. Given how you like to season the food you make, some of it can be overpowering for him, especially spicy food. The shepherd’s pie is both soft and gentle in the seasoning, something you hope he enjoys (the man though honestly likes anything you make even if one dish had his mouth on fire).

The chores are divided between the two of you depending on who cooks (you are the one who mostly cooks because the last time he cooked he burnt the food). He gathers the dishes and you put away the table mats and wipe down the table. Then you start going over the kitchen pantry seeing what needs to be picked up.

Norton does the dishes, humming something to himself, and you cannot help but stare at the way his arms are defined by his work shirt, a long sleeve he rolled up as he cleaned. When you first met him, he had muscle but it was not compared to how he is now when he is fed properly. The size difference between the two of you has more than once left you blushing like a little girl.

“(Name),” He speaks up once he is done drying the dishes, body turning to see you look at him and then smile, a closed smile to make him aware he has your attention. “I want to ask you something… Important.” Awkward wording that causes your head to tilt to the side.

“Oh?”

“Listen, um,” He takes a breath in and out, “We have been here for three years now and… I uh…”

You look worried.

“Here!” Pulling out the engagement ring and showing you it, “It ain’t much but…Marry me?”

You stare at him then the ring then him again; the emotions on your face shifting too many times then sadness. “Norton… I don't,”

“She doesn't want you, idiot. Why would she want a broken fool like you!?”

“Think I don’t deserve you.” A whisper he hears then the panic on your face as you wave your wave in front of you realizing how bad that sounds, “I mean–”

Huh? What? The former prospector is confused, “What do you mean?” Wait, how don’t you deserve him? Would it not be the other way around? Given all the things you offered him, the biggest one is moving to a whole other country to live with him.

You sigh and gesture for him to sit down and you take a seat before he does, “First: yes. I will marry you. I love you from the moon and back.” Stating to him quickly to ease him, “However, there are some things,” Tapping your fingers on the table, “You should know about me.”

Norton nods as he sits down while placing the ring on the table. “Alright.”

“Okay,” Taking a deep breath in, “Okay.” Fidgeting with your fingers, “I wasn't always a nurse. I had no legal medical license until a year into the job… After the doctor left.” Easy confession, concerning though you are sure.

Norton knew the owner of the mines cut corners as the bastard saw all of the miners as basically slaves. Cut corners wherever the scum could and pay off whoever inspected the worksite. The doctor leaving after not getting a raise, well, no one batted an eye when you were put in charge.

“Before that… Uh. I used to work in…” Growing quiet as you stare at the pattern of wood on the table.

“Did you kill someone?” His arms crossed over his chest, leaning back against the seat causing it to creek in protest, his legs wide open under the table.

“No, no! Nothing like that!” Assuring him, “Listen, I won’t blame you if this changes your view about me. I should have brought it up sooner,” He raises an eyebrow, “I worked in a brothel.” Saying quickly and in one breath. The silence to follow is one side uneasy. His eyes locked on your face. You squirm a bit fearing what he will say.

“That’s it?” Breaking the silence.

“Yes?” Rubbing the back of your neck unsure if he was asking for more detail or something, “ Was one of the pleasure ladies.” Adding more detail, “Not exactly the woman you could bring home, uh.” It was a dark time in your life, you fault no one who had to take up the occupation in order to survive. You had to in order to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head. The nursing came later when your client, the doctor at the mines, was teaching you medicine at the cost of keeping his cock wet. A “fair trade” allowing you to switch occupations, much to his dislike soon after his replacement.

“Why not?”

“Because you should have a ‘nice’ girl.” Rolling your eyes hating that reason. The doctor was an asshole for telling you that all too often when he was making you choke on his— “No mother wants their son to marry a whore.” Sneering in at yourself.

“That’s stupid,” The response surprised you, “None of that is going to change my mind.”

You are shocked, you should not be given how you gave him a second chance at life-- A better one. The second you got him out of that rumble when you nursed him back to health. Technically, you are harboring a murderer, yet you don’t see it like that.

Your eyes fall to the ring. This small town in France is far from everything that happened back in Golden Cave. The voice remains but even with the rambling it currently is saying, it does become greedy towards you. The one thing they can agree on.

“You got experience between the two of us, so what.” Shrugging while he takes your left hand and rubs your ring finger. “When we started living out here, you told me the past is the past. For us to start from scratch and live how we want.” You did. The moment he was healed, you offered to take him with you. Far from everything that ever hurt either of you. “We can’t change what we did to live, we can however change how we live in this moment.” Trying to find the words to convey how much you mean to him, “Us, together, in that church you go to on Sundays and standing at that altar.”

You blink twice then glance away then back at Norton, “Wow.” He is serious. “Ha, wow, ha.” Laughing as leaned against your chair letting out a sigh of relief but the giggling starts up.

“You sound like a hyena.” Teasing you as the giggling gets worse, “Taking it you are happy?”

“Yes, God, yes!” Grabbing his hands with both of yours, “More than happy really! I want to kiss you until I can’t no longer.”

“Oh,” Amusement, “Just kiss?”

“Norton.” Standing up, “There are many things I want to do for you,” Leaning on the table with a look in your eyes he only caught once when you were patching him up. Your hand touching his arm, “Only if you allow me.”

“Shouldn’t that be my line?” Standing up and grabbing the ring before moving around the table to be close to you. “Everything. All of you and all of me.”

[legolasghosty]

JATP vampire AU!

Helloooo!!! Sorry on the delay, haven't had a lot of spare writing spoons lately with school! But I love this idea, here we go!!!

Okay first off, I am a sucker (no pun intended) for the Molina family being legacy vampires. The family line on Rose's side is largely vampiric in some form. Of course there is variation as to how strong it is and what abilities and needs/limitations various people have, as genetics still exist and stuff. There's also a fair amount of relationships between humans and vampires, cause screw Twilight rules, being being close to a vampire as a human is not a death wish.

Ray and Rose talked a lot about her turning him when they got engaged, but ended up deciding against it. There's a fair amount of potential complications with turning and there's no guarantee that the one being turned would share the same set of abilities and needs as the one turning them. Rose was safe walking in the sun, but her sister Victoria burns at the drop of a hat. They decided the potential benefits weren't worth the risks.

In this universe, nonhuman beings like vampires, wereanimals, fae, etc. aren't really a secret, but they also aren't super well understood or known by the general public. It's kinda similar to those statistics you'll see in the real world of things like "X% of people in the US have red hair, and X% of people in the US [insert medical condition/gender/view/whatever here], so if you know someone who has red hair, you probably also know someone who [insert same thing]." Those kinds of things exist all over in this AU, but with vampires and stuff. A small percentage of the population, low understanding, but not a secret. Lots of misinformation.

ANYWAYS BACK TO THE FUN STUFF! Julie is an interesting first child for Ray and Rose, cause she is fairly sensitive to the sun (Which they find out by accident...), semi blood dependent, and can and will turn into a bat for little to no reason. The bat thing is particularly confusing, because neither Rose nor any of her family that lives nearby have that particular ability. And Julie is a hider. Insert large amounts of parental panic every time they wake up to find that she's not in her crib. At least she's not coordinated enough to open doors till she's at least 4 or 5, so they figure out how to safely close her in when she's too young to know how to find her way back home if she got outside.

Carlos is by comparison basically a standard human baby... they think at first. All good in the sun, never shows much interest in his sister and mom's blood beverages, and (thankfully) never changes shape. But, as they come to find out when he wakes up screaming and almost crushes Ray's finger, he did pick up some of the strength and speed from Rose's side of the family, along with her bright eyes and mischievous grin. They also come to understand that, despite not needing or wanting blood to drink, he does have the strong sense of smell that vampires used to use for hunting. This makes things like daycare impossible cause it's just too strong.

Then we got the boys. We still have an accident just before they play a major gig at the Orpheum, but instead of poisoned street dogs, Luke, Reggie, and Alex get caught in an attack by a vampire extremist group. They all pull through okay, though it was touch and go for a moment there with Reggie, but they all end up turned.

Luke's folks are freaked by it but glad that he's alive and start trying to adjust to the whole situation. Reggie's parents are very divided as to what to do about him. So much so that they spend more time fighting each other than helping him. He spends a lot of nights at Luke's. Alex's parents disown him as soon as they find out from the hospital.

Alex ends up as the Molina's foster kid after getting released. It's unusual, cause they mostly do temporary placement in a crisis, but there aren't any other foster families in the area that have vampire blood and can help him adjust. It takes him a while to settle in with them, what with how different the family dynamic is on top of the whole vampire thing, but they make it work. He and Julie become fast friends. She helps talk him down after he turns into a bat the first time in the middle of a panic attack and the rest is history.

As far as vamp tendencies, Alex gets the bat form, the pointy teeth, and the strong sense of smell. He also sunburns really easily, but that could also be tied to the fact that he's so frigging white. Alex is pretty sure the vamp thing made it a lot worse though. Luke got the speed and the sun sensitivity(not gonna kill him, but it does hurt if he stays out too long), plus a blood craving that freaks his parents out more than once. He ends up officially meeting Julie for the first time when he breaks open her locker in desperation cause he can smell her blood bottle inside. Julie is MAD. Reggie is kinda in the middle of the blood reliance scale, still loves the sunshine, and nearly breaks the knobs on several doors in his house before he befriends the Molina family and starts sleeping over there more often than not.

As far as the rest of the characters, Bobby stays human and friends with all the guys through everything. Carrie, Nick, and Flynn are both humans, as is Trevor(Trevor and Bobby are different people here). There are a few other nonhumans at LFHS, but none in the music program so no one knows them well.

Willie is new at LFHS the fall after the guys get turned. He says he just moved here with his dad, Caleb (GOOD DAD CALEB FOREVER!). They're in the art program, but Alex, Reggie, and Julie keep randomly running into them at stuff and become friends. Willie is kinda quiet in general, but they all spot little bits of a more bright, fun loving personality from time to time. At first Alex lowkey worries that he's having home issues, but then he runs into them after finishing a gig with the guys, and Willie has their hair up for once. It's messy, but Alex can't help but notice the healed but obvious scars on the side of his neck, just below his left ear. They look pretty similar to Alex's own.

And thus the secret is out, at least to the little vamp family being formed. Willie got removed from his bio family cause of substance abuse on the part of his parents, and bounced through a handful of foster homes. One of them, the one right before Caleb, had an uncle who was a vampire. Turning Willie wasn't exactly intentional, but it happened regardless. This was when Willie was like 11. Willie was stuck in the hospital for a while cause they had a rough transformation, and then were placed with Caleb when they finally got out. He fully expected Caleb to hate him, but turns out Caleb is a werepanther, turned as a little kid, so he kinda gets it. They figure it out together and end up getting along really well! Caleb moved to LA for work stuff, and Willie was eager for a fresh start after some rumors that had gone around at his old school. And he's very happy to find the lil family!

Ack I'm sorryyyyyy this is so long!!! I'm having too many thoughts!!! I'll shut up now!!!! Hope you enjoyed!!!

[funnier-as-a-system]

hey hi help i thought i might be a system but then i spiraled and long story short my Boys AREN'T RESPONDING AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE IT'S LIKE BEING ALONE BUT WORSE

like they were there and then they weren't and every time i tried to talk to them it felt like i was just talking to myself and making a fake person to respond? is this normal??

i'm panicking a little, sorry for the rant

Alright, first thing: let's try to calm our panic a little bit. Take a deep breath or two, splash some water on your face, do whatever helps you calm down. Panic Mode does not help the majority of crises, this one included, so let's turn our attention to the issue at hand.

By the way you speak, it sounds that you recently figured out you're a system, but your troubles with internal communication are causing you to doubt yourself. I'm going to be responding under the assumption that that is what's happening. If I've misunderstood, feel free to send a follow-up ask.

It is very common, especially in newly discovered systems, to struggle with internal communication. Internal communication is sort of like drawing – you may have a knack for it right off the bat, or you may not, but either way you're still going to have to work to get better and figure out what works for you. It's a whole new skill to learn – one that can be finicky for some people! You are not alone with having difficulty internally communicating; we had the same sort of problems when we first had our syscovery. It took us a good few months to build up a reliable communication system in our brain, during which we had to figure out things like how to send each other our thoughts, how to listen to each other without accidentally blocking people out, what to do if an intrusive thought was shared via internal communication, etc. When you're first starting out, internal communication can be really hard, and sometimes this means you may struggle to hear anyone at all.

In fact, related to that last statement, it's not uncommon to have periods of not hearing anyone at all, even for systems with good internal communication. Sometimes, headmates are just away from the front, or your brain has decided it's going to shut down comms for a few days, or some other nebulous problem has reared its head. It's uncomfortable, and it can be scary, but not hearing anyone doesn't mean you're not a system. Some systems don't have any internal communication, after all!

There is one important thing I want to bring up, however. The feeling that you're not talking to a real headmate, and rather just making up responses with an imaginary person? We've been there. Other systems have been there. Sometimes even headmates mistake themselves as imaginary. Think about it – you are engaging with a hypothetical (because you're not sure yet if they're really there) person who shares your body, the very concept of which goes against a lot of what we're taught, and you are trying to set up a method of communication with this hypothetical person via what is essentially one-person telepathy. It's a situation that is prime for self-doubt to grow.

But – fantastic news – there are ways to help yourself battle this self-doubt. Here's some of the tactics we came up with while developing internal communication:

Ask your headmates to say random things to you. Just random words that pop into their heads! Sometimes, you may be able to guess what they're going to say before they say it, since their head is also your head, but other times they may be able to surprise you. Hell, as I was writing this, someone in my system just told me, "Baseball," and I have no idea where the hell they pulled that from.

Write down internal conversations after you have them. This helps in two ways: one, you will have records to look back on the next time you're doubting yourself, and two, you can add notes about the conversation based on what your headmate says about it. For example, when I write down quotes from my system, sometimes the person who said the quote will tell me how they want it formatted. If you're writing down on paper, you could even set something up where your headmates can tell you what pen or marker they want you to write their statements in! Make your conversation journal a fun activity for all of you.

Play Simon Says. A headmate can tell you what you want to do, and you'll act it out in the physical world! It can help to see a physical world impact on what's going on inside your head (which, btw, also relates to the pen and marker suggestion). We didn't do this much, but we did do our best to fulfill small requests that other system members made, even when they were somewhat inconvenient for us. Nothing like asking for a particular candy brand you don't especially like just because you know a headmate likes it to kick self-doubt in the shin, am I right?

Think about how your headmates have influenced you or your actions. This can be by asking you to do certain things, making you smile or laugh, moving a part of your body through partial possession, or giving you a headache from switching, just to name a few examples. Focus on experiences that have affected your physical body or the physical world around you, and you'll feel less like it's all just in your head.

Set up a code word to let other system members know that you're struggling. We have a code system with certain words that will communicate to other system members how secure we are in the knowledge that we're a system; if someone says an emergency code word, we know they need reassurance right then, and can do our best to pull them out of self-doubt by talking about the issue or pulling out one of the other self-assurance tactics. It can be especially helpful if saying, "Hey, I feel really insecure right now, can you guys help me out?" feels like too much in the moment.

That's about all the advice we have to give on that matter. We really hope this helps you, anon! And remember – internal communication is not the end-all be-all of being a system. It's okay to struggle; it's okay to be unable to hear your headmates. That doesn't "prove you're not a system." It just means you're going through a quiet period right now. Give it some time, and your boys will probably return – in the meantime, enjoy the quiet and take some time for yourself. You're going to be okay.

TLDR: You're not alone in your experiences, this is a normal thing for newly discovered systems to go through, and having trouble hearing your headmates does not mean you're not a real system.

[artzychic27]

Inspired by my last post.

Count Marcula welcomes a werewolf Nathaniel to his castle. He finds the writer to be intriguing and incredibly cute. An angry mob led by Lucien and Emani comes to the Transylvanian castle, as Marcula and Wolfaniel fight them off.

Using some Romanian names I found. Meet Marc and Nath’s other previous incarnations from their past lives!

Marius Arkhel was once a normal happy young man living a wonderful life in the village with his betrothed, famed and wealthy vampire hunter, Leonte Remus

One night, Marius and Leonte decided to go for a walk through the woods where they discuss preperations for their wedding. Then, all of a sudden, a bat swoops down and bites Marius’ neck

Leonte thinks nothing of it first while nursing Marius back to health until Marius suddenly tries to bite his neck, and Leonte comes to the conclusion that he is now a vampire

So, he keeps him chained in the basement, surrounded by a ring of garlic until he can find a cure. Leonte tells the villagers that Marius is sick, and the wedding is postponed until he gets better

One day, one particularily nosy associate of Leonte’s decides to drop by for a visit, so Leonte is forced to unchain Marius to keep up appearances

Things go smoothly until the guy notices Marius doesn't have a reflection and sets out to tell everyone, only for Marius to tear him apart with his fangs, killing him

And Leonte starts to get... Ideas

Basically, he lures his rivals into the woods so Marius can kill them and feast on their blood. And if Marius doesn't comply, then Leonte’s going to drive a stake through his heart

Leonte: Jade, I'm afraid there's no cure for you. But it's better this way. You get to satisfy your inhuman urges, and I get rid of a few undesirables.

Marius: But-

Leonte: And I just can't bear the thought of you suddenly developing a blood lust and hurting the innocents, you know. The people will expect me to do something about it. So, you understand, don't you, Jade?

Marius: ... Yes.

It's been a week since Marius last drank any blood, and he can't keep human food down, so one night, he manages to break free of his chains and runs into a barn to drink from one of the cows... Only to be caught

The villagers take him to Leonte, and instead of trying to come up with an explanation, he pulls out a stake and holy water

In a moment of panic, Marius suddenly turns into a bat, flies away from the village, and into the forest. When he turns human again, he immediately breaks down crying from Leonte’s betrayal

Marius spends three nights hunting for wild animals to drink blood from, avoiding hunters, and trying to avoid the sunlight until he comes across an abandoned manor at the edge of the forest

He considers asking the owner to let him stay but finds no one there, and decides to make it his home

A week later, in the middle of the night, he hears someone at the door, and when he goes to see who, he finds a young man around his age unconscious on the doorstep with a silver arrow in his shoulder and wearing wedding attire

Marius brings him into his room and cleans up his multiple wounds caused by whips, burns, and even stabbing

~Months Ago in the next village over~

Nacolae Katsav was engaged to Emanoil Petrache, his village's top hunter. He lived in a beautiful house, wore the finest clothes, and would be getting married to an excellent provider. It was all perfect...

Until one evening when Emanoil brought in his latest hunt, a larger-than-average wolf. The villagers all wanted a piece of it, but Emanoil saved a small part of it just for Nicolae, a tooth which he turned into a necklace

As soon as Emanoil fastened it around his neck, Nicolae pricked himself with it and suddenly passed out

Nicolae woke up completely refreshed the next morning with a sudden craving for nothing but meat at breakfast, and he was much more hyperactive

Emanoil didn't mind at first, liking how he's gotten much more affectionate, but then he started writhing in pain one night. Emanoil was about to grab the village doctor until he saw his fiance transform into a werewolf right in front of him

He almost grabbed his crossbow, but then Nicolae ran out of the house and into the forest

When Nicolae woke up the next morning, he was back in bed, and Emanoil stood at his bedside with a solemn expression as he explained everything

He promised to do everything he could to help him, but really, he had ulterior motives

Every night when Nicolae transforms, Emanoil’s been conditioning him to sniff out prey and kill them on his command. And if he disobeys, Emanoil will whip or cut him, and even press Nicolae’s own silver engagement ring against him

But when Nicolae’s human, Emanoil’s doting on him and treating him as if he were made of glass

Months pass and it's the day of their wedding... And the night of a full moon.

Emanoil promises it won't be long, but he keeps dragging things out just to show off his new husband until it's too late and Nicolae transforms in front of the whole village

He expects Emanoil to defend him... But then he grabs a musket and starts shooting at him. Nicolae rushes into the woods and as he's running, a silver arrows nails him straight in the shoulder, forcing him to transform back into a human

He barely makes it to this manor at the edge of the forest, knocks as loud as he can, and passes out

~Present~

When Nicolae wakes up the next morning, he finds himself in a dark room with the windows covered, and a cute guy with green eyes sitting at his bedside. On instinct, he sniffs him and immediately likes him

Marius introduces himself but leaves out the fact that he’s a vampire, and vice versa

Despite trying to keep their other sides secret for a few days, Marius can’t keep forcing himself to eat human food and Nicolae has to explain why he was eating raw meat

As soon as they explain what they are, they begin to feel comfortable explaining how they each ended up the way they did and find their situations to be quite similar

But while Marius was slowly starting to accept Leonte wasn’t the man he thought he was, Nicolae is still grasping on to the idea that Emanoil still loves him and only did what he did under pressure

Once in a while, they’ll go into the village using a glamour technique Marius learned to disguise themselves (beta designs) since there are wanted posters for them everywhere

In the village square, Nicolae finds Emanoil making the following announcement

Emanoil: My former husband, Nicolae, is not the man I thought he was. I swore to hunt and kill any beast on sight, but I fear I hesitated in that moment. With that note, should you find my ex, bring him to me alive so that I may finish what I started and lift the burden that plagues all of you at night.

And while the villagers were cheering, Nicolae silently cried

And while down in the market, Marius ran into Leonte, who shamelessly attempted to flirt with him until Nicolae strolled up and took Marius’ hand

In their absences, about two weeks after Nicolae fled the wedding, Leonte and Emanoil teamed up to track down Marius and Nicolae after coming across each other in the border between the two villages

While they send their best hunters out, Leonte and Emanoil often hold private meetings and discuss what they’ll do when they find Marius and Nicolae

They want to keep them, but the villagers would never allow it despite their social status, so, Leonte’s been looking for a way to turn them human again and with some success

But… He’s also been researching a talisman that will allow him and Emanoil to force Marius and Nicolae to turn back into a vampire and werewolf. This way, they’ll have Marius and Nicolae back and they can continue to carry out their inhumane acts

Marius is comforting Nicolae in his room when the full moon rises. Based on what Nicolae told him, Marius prepares for the worst but finds a hulking werewolf acting like a puppy

Over time, Marius and Nicolae have become more fond of each other and even start sleeping in the same room

Whenever Nicolae brings home a dead animal for Marius to drink from, he get immediate head scritches

They haven’t thought about Leonte or Emanoil in a long time and frankly, do not care… Until one night. While Marius and Nicolae were walking through the woods, they came across some hunters of Marius’ village

Upon recognizing them, they start to attack until Nicolae fights them off. After taking out a good amount of them, they had back to the manor and barricade the doors

Leonte and Emanoil eventually break in and look for them, armed with crosses, silver bullets, holy water, and wooden stakes in case they don’t go willingly

When Leonte and Emanoil find them in their room, they start of sweet, saying how much they miss them

Leonte: Jade, my love, come with me. You can leave this life behind and be normal again. We can put what happened behind us and be happy again.

Emanoil: My sweet belle, is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Let me fix you. I can’t stand not having you by my side.

But Nicolae and Marius aren’t buying it, so they resort to lethal matters

When they least expect it, Emanoil shoots Nicolae in the shoulder with a silver arrow while Leonte splashes holy water in Marius’ face, knocking them unconscious

When they wake up, they’re tied to a pyre in the border between their respective villages, right as the sun is about to come up and Emanoil is loading a silver bullet into his musket

Still Leonte gives the two one last chance. Either be human or die… Only for Marius’ to spit in his face, so he’s got his answer

As Marius’ body starts to turn to ash, Emanoil aims for Nicolae’s heart and fires. As they’re slowly dying, Nicholae and Marius hold hands for the last time until Marius has completely turned to ash and Nicolae dies while still tied to the pyre

And about a century after their deaths, Natale Kuhlberg and Marquel Arcelle were born in Paris

On the past lives list, we have,

Nicholas Kress/Miles Arcel

Nicolae Katsav/Marius Arkhel

Natale Kuhlberg/Marquel Arcelle

[slocumjoe]

hey uhhh i went thru ur oc post history and u said gus set himself on fire?? pls context

I love this character because whenever someone asks about him I always have to take a deep breath and get comfortable and suck a breath in through my teeth. I treat him so poorly

More Gus lore, because that specific event is actually tied to the very first event that would fuck him up forever, so I can't really talk about it without going in depth.

This is explaining the core tenent of Augustijn's story, which is guilt and its dangers. Basically, where that constant guilt came from, and how it...turned out for him...

It turns out okay. Just...takes 200+ years, an apocalypse, a divorce, and his son dying! 🥳Yay🥳

Tw; Religious trauma, child abuse, suicide, drug use, cannibalism, mental illnesses, and yet another suicide attempt.

So, some background, Gus's mom, Emma, was a fanatic catholic and generally Bat Shit about religion. As you might imagine, this is the Direct Source of both Gus' questionable worldviews, traumas, and his biological inclination to uuuhhh bad Head Times.

Emma was raised mildly religious, but she...took to it too hard? Her family was not the cause of her obsession, Gus's grandparents and uncles/aunts over there actually cut her off at one point, because she was starting to worry them but reaching out led to her lashing out. So, they just...backed off. Emma herself was a simple, homebody woman, who wanted to be at home raising her kids, and tending her garden. She would have been this way even without the religious thing.

But Emma and her side of the family were prone to addiction, see? And religion became her point of fixation and obsession. This could have still been okay, if not for the church she went into. A catholic church in the Hague that was known by all for being kind of fucking out there, even by other hardcore Catholics. This was one she went into, and even her grandchild 240+ years later would feel the ripple of this decision.

Emma goes into church and gets gnarly ideas about how life works. Its a woman's duty to have kids and raise them, to be good to her husband and her house, to listen and obey her men. Sin is inevitable and everyone does it, only those that admit and accept punishment can get another chance at Paradise. God knows every action you take and he does not care for the context, he only cares about the action. There is no "well, but" under the Lord.

Emma has mental illness, some kind of depression and anxiety, so this Big Brother Watching And Judging fucked her up. Especially since her church, in particular, was physically abusive if you did not confess to anything during confession. They thought if you had nothing to confess, you were lying.

At this point, she's met and engaged to Theodore Reinier, a rich heir to a European manufacturing company. He's pretty, a gentleman, and best of all, rich, so she can have as big and luxurious a garden as she wants. She likes him. She does not love him. She's in her twenties and unmarried with no kids, and her poor family needs to be taken care of. So she marries him. Theodore is smart enough to see this for what it is, and kind enough to allow it. He lets his wife do her own thing and treats her as a friend, rather than a lover. She hates this, she wants to be a wife (she doesnt). She wants kids, he gives her one. Augustijn. This birth goes rough, and she's told no more children.

Theodore makes one rule; August goes to a different church, or he does not go at all. Theo really didn't like Emma's church and he certainly wasn't exposing his kid to that shit.

Emma pretends to agree and takes Gus to That Church. Theo doesn't attend, so he doesn't know this is happening until much later. Gus gets all the same nasty shit Emma does. Theo learns of this when he sees Gus covered in bruises from confession beatings. This puts a huge rift between him and Emma, and he pulls all the strings he can to have her church shut down.

Emma grows to resent and hate Theo and Augustijn for not being the perfect husband and child she deserves as a good, God fearing house wife. Augustijn is left to his nannies, Emma hides away in her private garden, fuming. Theodore tries to bond with his son, but Emma's poisoned that well.

Emma tells Augustijn about demons, to fear them. She specifically tells him about church grims, demons that hunt around churches in the form of a dog to drag sinners to hell. She says this as she's admiring her new obsidian dog statues for her garden.

Eventually, Emma goes yellow wallpaper and loses her mind, and is sent to therapy and put on medications. Augustijn loathes his father for his mother's state. Theodore just wants his friend and son okay. But Emma, as she's out in town, coming back from therapy, she stops at a friend's house while the friend isn't there, and hooks up with the woman's husband. Friend's husband was stern, strict with his wife, God fearing, and generally an obnoxious 50s ideal shithead husband. Everything Emma wanted. This wasn't out of nowhere, it was brewing in the background. She knew both of them from her old church.

Emma goes home, and finally having a reason for the guilt that's always plagued her, elects to acknowledge her sin. She drowns herself in the pond of her garden, stared down by three dark, ruby-eyed dogs, overseeing her passage into the afterlife. Her young son comes into the garden to meet his mother, after she's been gone all day, only to find her in a red pool. He looks up into the eyes of the dogs. He remembers nothing of this incident, blocking it out and having been too young to understand.

Years pass, and Augustijn turns to drugs as well, though his come from the darkest parts of the Hague, rather than a doctor. He turns to sex, to crime, to anything he thinks will either corrupt him so much he doesn't care, or will finally make his guilt feel justified. He wears his mother's cross necklace through it all, and sees her beloved dog with every sin.

Augustijn goes to America for college, to Harvard, studying to become a pastor himself. (This is maybe the most terrifying part of him, the fact that he almost got it). But he doesn't feel satisfied with it, has a moment of clarity and realizes he isn't fit to preach anything. The grim certainly doesn't think so. He instead follows his only friend, Isadora, into the military. The US government allowing their soldiers to do chems means his failed drug tests don't matter.

Augustijn becomes a sniper. He has always hurt people, excelled in it, but taking life frightens him, because he knows he has no right to decide who lives or dies, not like this. But he's in China, and he's told to kill. He does, and he's very good at it. His teammates marvel at just how scrappy and determined he is, like a weed, a mold.

The Biandukou Pass Incident occurs. He eats his entire team, trapped in a Chinese mountain range during a blizzard.

Delirious from almost two months of surviving on nothing but psycho and human flesh, Augustijn is let loose back into Boston, honorably discharged. His lingering hallucinations from his Daytripper addiction, mixed with psycho withdrawal, trauma, guilt, shame, the fear of God—everything culminates. He looks up and sees the figure that has haunted him since that one, awful day; the church grim, staring expectantly.

His mother drowned herself, so he thought it fitting if he set himself ablaze.

[riddle-me-ri]

Twojar Riddler x F!Reader - Wedding Woes

A/N: Hi, so, uhh I’ve been mulling over this idea for a minute. For one, I wanna write anything I can to alleviate my dislike for Riddler’s Prelude to the Wedding issue (which is why this is twojar specific), because yeah, no. But also this is sort of a comfort piece for me? My family has not one, not two, but three weddings all less than five months apart from each other. My cousin’s was in June, and now my sister’s is coming up in November (two days after my bday rip, I know she couldn’t help it but goddamnit…) and my other cousin has her’s in January…and I literally just want to rip my hair out. So if you don’t mind I’m gonna indulge myself with this piece to help me cope with all this wedding madness going on..

Trigger Warnings: 18+ ONLY Minors DNI! Strong language, explicit sexual content (unprotected sex w/afab reader, fingering), mentions of violence and criminal activity

Word Count: 2.7 k

Twojar Riddler x F!Reader - Wedding Woes

Well, guess the news around town was true. 

The Bat and the Cat…finally tying the knot, who would’ve thunk. You were fairly certain Selina wouldn’t be the type to want to be tied down to a commitment. You shrugged as you took in the city skyscape from your balcony. 

I wonder how Eddie’s taking it? What he thinks of this engagement…

Speak of the Devil, he came to join you out on the balcony. You fell backwards into his chest when he wrapped his arms around you from behind. He placed his chin on top of your head after kissing the top of it. 

He’s quiet, way too quiet. 

“Have you heard the news?” You asked, offering a line of conversation. 

Ed scoffed, you could feel the outtake of air move some hair around. “How could anyone have not heard? It’s all anyone is talking about…”

“I’m still pretty baffled.” You commented. “I just didn’t see Selina being the type, nor Bats really.”

“I never thought he could divorce himself from Gotham.” You joked. “Unless they’ve got some kinda special three way going on..”

Edward chuckled, but more out of habit than sincerity. After a moment of awkward silence, you turned around to face him. You put your arms on top of his, that were still wrapped around you. Your hands rested on his chest as you start gently caressing him. 

“What’s up, Eddie? I can tell when your minds turning, but I’ll be damned if I know what it is without you telling me…” You giggled. 

Nothing. Your eyebrows started to furrow in the middle. 

“Eddie?”

“W-would you…would you ever consider marrying me?”

Oh…OH

You mouth was opening and closing, trying to get your brain to start thinking and speaking your next words. 

“I, um, uh…well…to be honest I never thought about it,  like just marriage in general. Never saw it in my cards. I mean sure when I was little, I think every little girl thinks about her own when they go to their first wedding of a family member. But as time went on, and the more I saw the uglier side of things, I just never thought about it.” 

Edward nodded. “I, too, never thought much about it. Until tonight anyway. I never suspected Batman and Catwoman, in hindsight I should have, given how close they are and just how much he lets her off the hook.” 

“However, she’s easier to forgive I suppose. She hasn’t caused mass terror throughout the city, killed countless civilians…” 

You pulled him closer to you, resting your head on his chest. Your hands going up his back as you gently rubbed his shoulder blades. His arms dropped to his side as you held him in your embrace. 

“I’m beyond forgiveness and redemption. I’m not someone who gets married.” He concluded. 

“Oh, Eddie…” You squeezed around his abdomen tighter. 

“I’m not even sure why you’ve stuck it out with me for so long…I-I have nothing to give you in terms of a future, surely not a happy ending either.” 

“I don’t need a happy ending and if I’m with you in my future that’s all I want.” You picked your head up to look him in the eyes. 

“You make it sound incredibly romantic.” He huffed. “But it doesn’t change or make it better. Doesn’t change who I am, what I’ve done, and what I’m bound to do.” 

“I know, I know it won’t, but I’m willing to accept it. Willing to take the bad with the good. Because you make me happy, we’re happy together.”

You brought your hands back around from behind him and held his face in your hands. Your thumb gliding over both his cheeks. 

“That…that’s, that’s rather selfish. Staying with a murderer, terrorist, criminal like me…because I make you happy.”

“If being happy with you…in a world where no matter how much good you do, no matter how many rules you follow, or cross your T’s and dot your I’s. You still get fucked over, taken advantage of, and spit on. If loving you makes me finally feel a fraction of happiness and tranquility, despite who you are and what you’ve done…hell yes I’m selfish. I’m selfish as hell. And I don’t give a damn.” 

You smiled proudly as Ed’s eyes widened at your statement. 

“Riddle me this…” Your hands slid down his face and locked behind his neck. “Oswald Cobblepot has a pretentious one. Selina Kyle’s can also be a first name. And Bruce Wayne’s is printed all over the city. And I want yours, what am I?”

Ed’s eyes furrowed for a second as he mulled over it. His mind immediately forgetting the previous thoughts whirling around in his head. You could tell he finally got it when he let out a soft chuckle and shook his head. 

“Very cute, Y/N.”

“If you got on your knee right now and asked me to marry you I would say yes with no hesitation. I think Y/N Nygma has a good ring to it. Don’t you?” You tilted your head, a sweet smile plastered on your face. 

Ed nodded. “Yes, it really does..”

“And besides…” You began. You removed your hands from Ed’s face and held his hands as you outstretched both your arms. 

“Who needs a wedding?” You proposed. “Who needs a guestlist, invitations, registries, DJs and music. Hell, who even needs the minister!” 

You squeezed Edward’s hands as you gave him a beaming smile. “Do you, Edward Nygma, take me, Y/N L/N, to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we both shall live.” You pulled him closer to you with each vow until he was back in your embrace. 

“I-I didn’t even ask you.” Ed chuckled, breathlessly.

“I had a feeling you wouldn’t think it’ll ever be okay to ask me, so I just took it out of the equation.” You smirked. 

“I do.” Ed smiled. 

“And I do too, shamelessly, now and always. Ring or no ring” You framed his face again with your hands. Your face inched closer and closer to his. 

“You may now–mm!” Your statement was interrupted by Edward crashing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. 

You smiled into the kiss, as you squeezed his face. His arms found home again around your waist. 

When the need for air overcame the desire to stay lip locked, you both backed away from the kiss. Ed rested his forehead on top of yours. You leaned up to kiss his nose. 

“What ever will I do with you?” He muttered. 

“Well, you better figure it out, looks like you’re going to be stuck with me for a long time.” You teased as you scrunched up your nose. 

Ed snickered. “There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with…Mrs. Nygma.”

You gasped before letting out a fit of giggles. “I was right it does sound nice.” 

Edward let you go and back away from you, but was back at your side and before you knew it, he had you in his arms with your feet off the ground. He was carrying you, carrying you like a groom would his bride from the church. 

You shrieked as your feet suddenly left the ground, but your shrieks were replaced by laugher as you wrapped your arms around his neck to hang onto something. 

You kissed his cheek as he carried you back into the apartment. Through the living room and through an open door that belonged to your shared bedroom. He playfully tossed you on the bed. You laughed as you got up on your knees and went to the foot of the bed to wrap your arms back around him. 

You leaned in for another kiss, one more passionate and sloppy than before. Your hands crawled to the back of his head, your fingers combed through his orange strands. When you had to separate to get another gulp of air, you started kissing his cheek, his jawline, developing a trail down to his shoulder. 

Ed cupped the side of your face, to bring it back up to look at him. He grabbed the edges of your oversized shirt and quickly pulled it over your body, exposing your upper half to him. It was his turn to start peppering your skin with kisses, going down a very similar path to the one you had started on his skin. 

Your hands dropped down to his lower abdomen. Your fingers wiggled to get underneath his white shirt, to start pulling it off him. He felt your warm fingers touch his skin, causing him to tense a little until he noticed what you were doing. 

“Need help?” 

“That’d be splendid, Mr. Nygma.” 

He chuckled as he stepped away from you to pull his shirt over his head. No matter how many times he bares himself to you, your mouth never ceases to water at the sight. You fell back onto the bed, scooting yourself closer to the head of the bed. Ed crawled onto the bed and hovered over you. You couldn’t resist leaning up to steal another kiss from his sweet lips. 

As the two of you kissed, his hands began exploring your body. Squeezing and caressing wherever he recalled got you gasping and moaning into his lips. Like when he kneads your chest or squeezes your love handles. It doesn’t take long for you to start moaning. 

He breaks the kiss to continue what he started. He kissed and lapped along your neck before softly suckling along the bone. His hands continued to roam your body, until it got to the band of your shorts. 

You gasped as your lower half was now exposed, and you laid completely bare before him. One of his hands went back to knead your breast, while the other stayed below your waist. His index finger softly caressing in between your folds. His mouth went to your other breast and began softly sucking on the nipple.

“E-Eddie…” You moan softly. One of your hands was cradling the back of his head, while the other clung around his back. Slowly, Ed eased his finger inside of you, which caused you to gasp in surprise but was quickly melted into moans. Satisfied at finally feeling some friction. 

Edward continued to steadily pump his finger in and out of you. Occasionally taking his thumb to rub long tight ovals into your clit, which caused his hands to get soaked even more. Using the extra slick, he was able to ease his middle finger to join in his ministrations. 

You grabbed his face again and brought his lips to yours. Your tongue impatiently parted from your lips, wanting access to enter his. He willingly allowed your tongue to roam his mouth. He quickened his fingers’ pace in and out of you. You moaned into the kiss, between the warmth of his mouth and the friction to your core. You were melting into the bedsheets below you. 

As Edward’s fingers felt your walls start to tighten around his fingers more frequently, he removed them from your core. You tore from the kiss to let out a frustrated sigh. 

“You were getting close…” He mumbled. 

“Yeah.” You growled. 

He snickered before pecking your forehead. “I’ll make it up to you, I always do don’t, I?” 

You roll your eyes but muttered a soft, “yeah…I guess.” 

Ed removed his sweatpants and boxers in one swift pull and he tossed them somewhere off to the side of the bed. He got back in place, hovering directly above you. You looked down to see him gently pump his hard cock. He took the precum developed at the head and spread it along his cock. He leaned back over you, lining his cock up to your entrance, rubbing the head gently in between your folds. 

You and Ed both let out sharp moans and groans when he finally entered you fully. Your legs wrapped tightly like a vice around his waist. You moved your hands to go back to hold his face, but he stopped them before they mad contact. He placed your hands down on the mattress near your head. He entwined his fingers with yours, squeezing your hands against his flesh and the sheets. 

Sounds of your moans grew, as he resumed the pace he started with his fingers. His dick filling you more than his fingers, and reaching further into you than his fingers could. 

“E-Eddie…mmm…”

His head dipped back down towards you, tucking it back between your neck and shoulder. Edward started nipping and suckling along your collarbone as he picked up his thrusting pace. Your hands squeezed his, your nails barely scrapping against his rough knuckles.

You turned your head, so your lips could reach his face. You began kissing alongside his face or the top of his head, as he moved along the front of you. 

“I love you, Edward Nygma...mmm…n-nothing will change that.” You manage to mutter out between your gasps and moans. 

Edward increased his pace at your words, making you swallow any other words you may have had. Replacing them with cries and moans. 

“I love you…” he grunted. “A-Absolutely adore you.” 

Both of your hands squeezed each other before he pulled one of his hands away to go down your body. You released your other hand from his and opted to wrap your arms around his neck. While one of his hands were at your front, the other wrapped around your back, slowly lifting you off the bed. 

The hand in your front squeezed between your bodies, finally finding it’s destined location. His thumb started stroking your clit again in tight fast circles. 

“E-Ed…mmm…Eddie!” 

“Y/N…ahh..” He began thrusting harder and faster. Pulling completely out with just the tip of his head still in and thrusted fully back in, before repeating.  

Your nails began biting his head and back, the hand on his back slowly dragging them down his spine, causing him to groan deeper. The sound making you squeeze your walls tighter around his cock. 

The all too familiar knot was getting tighter and tighter, just moments from coming undone. You tried to hold out just a little bit longer, wanting to cum with him. 

Your lips collide once more with Edward’s as your hands converge at his head. Your fingers combing through bits of his hair and sideburns. Your thumbs rubbing his cheeks, lovingly.  All it took was one more thrust, he stilled himself inside you. His thumb never stopped twirling around your clit as your walls held his cock in a chokehold. 

You broke the kiss as your body broke out in a warm sticky sweat, your body and limbs convulsing under him. Edward wrapped his arms around you, holding you close during the shakes. You shivered as you felt his release fill you up to the brim. 

As Ed gently laid you back down onto the mattress, he lovingly tucked your hair back and out of your face. He gave you a kiss on the forehead before looking back at into your eyes. You leaned up a little to give him a small sweet kiss. 

After cleaning up, and you stole yet another shirt of his. It didn’t take you long to fall into a dreamless sleep on his bare chest. The both of you cuddled in the bed and cozy under the covers. Edward had an arm wrapped around you, his hand periodically caressing your arm up and down. 

He looked down upon your sleeping figure. Someone that was comfortable, at ease, and truly happy with himself. He didn’t even like himself most days, not that anyone would know he hid it pretty damn well. Yet, there was you, an even greater conundrum than he is. 

Be that as it may, in moments like this…everything made sense. For a moment, Edward thought just about anything is possible now, especially with you. Maybe just maybe, matrimony isn’t entirely out of the question for him. 

“Riddle me this…Oswald Cobblepot has a pretentious one. Selina Kyle’s can also be a first name. And Bruce Wayne’s is printed all over the city. And I want yours, what am I?”

He grinned. 

It’s a last name.

[cringefaildiaz]

Casual 911 watching roomie's thoughts on Performance Anxiety

right off the bat she's defensive against Pepa's blind date assault "he’s not alone he has a son and a husband!!!!"

Eddie saying "I can’t marry someone just cause you said so" - “that’s fucking gay” 

Eddie telling the 118 about not wanting to perform for a date "you don’t have to perform for your husband"

"love that not a single one of them was excited about Eddie maybe dating"

bakery call: "Girl just call osha" 

"omg starting an accidental union in the workplace??? Thats so us"

"imagine almost dying at work and going 'on my death bed I’ve decided to stan osha. I’m pro union now.'" 

fire academy baby drill: "It’s a 6 month old. Check the fucking floor"

she really believed Novak could do it right from the get go. First and biggest Novak fan

turns out the baby WAS on the floor, everyone clap for our childcare professional queen who knows where a 6 month old baby can be found in the event of an emergency

Eddies date: "Eddie you are….gay"

"is he gonna make a FRIEND! that'd be fun"

"what if they become friends and then he sets her up with buck. tumblr would go crazy" 

"WHAT ARE THESE FACES" about Ryans whole....thing

college audition panic attack call: "I wonder if JLH has singing in her contract"

"he just walked out of that stall like only a 17 year old twink can"

Eddies performance review: "I’m sorry is Eddie upset this girl he didn’t want dumped him"

"work life balance OKAY" ngl i feel like this comment was directed at me a little bit

"cap doesn’t wanna hear about how your dick doesn't work rn Eddie"

"I’m sensing the theme is safety, security, trust" when they're doing the harness exercise at the academy. was a joke but honestly....theres something there

"like seriously how many more times can chimney say secure"

"is Novak about to have a panic attack??? are we gonna get ANOTHER ONE???? is that thing i don’t know about, like are panic attacks a thing" you can imagine the face she made when I told her about the eddieana panic attacks

"I do wish his panic attack sounded less like sex grunts. but that’s just me. still love him"

bodybuilder call: "I’m sorry. is this not homoerotic? oh god its his DAD"

"this is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen"

"so dramatic of Angela Bassett to take the time to give a speech when this guy is dying. just say you'll arrest them if they cause a problem"

"oh a black woman carrying the whole place on her back what a surprise" she said respect black women

"Bobby just wants someone to say he’s doing a good job"

athena saying "that’s my husband" loudest laugh I’ve ever heard 

She hates Nathaniel. Violently.

at this point she learned the episode is called “performance anxiety." "OHHHH that's not the theme I guessed"

She’s singing a fun trauma song @ the Ravi chim convo 

"good acting Eddie. totally believable"

"YOU DIDNT HAVE A HUSBAND AND A CHILD AFTER YOU GOT DIVORCED, PEPA. leave him ALONE"

"the child of indeterminate age is having opinions" Jee is either the "plot device sleep schedule child" or this. she's really fixated on Jee

"She’s singing AGAIN? it HAS to be in her contract" about Maddie singing to Jee

"Novak is for sure joining the team when buddie are otherwise engaged. he's my new favorite."

She asked after if Buck has ever met Pepa ("she has to know about him right. why is she not asking about him") so I showed her Stuck and she saw Chris with Bobby and went "thats his grandpa :(" (i also had that moment earlier this week so im THRILLED she had the same thought) (although we've been talking a lot about bobby being bucks dad and buck being chris' dad the past few weeks) (yknow cuz the show won't shut up about it)

[angermgnt]

Anger

Anger, in ADHDrs, arises from a negative event. The event causes our brains to run through a 10,000 node decision tree and tell us that either something is doesn't meet our expectations or something is not fair.

We respond in 5 different ways:

Flight

Fight

Observe & Investigate

Cry

Depression

Provided here is a brief discussion of the concepts listed above and how they affect you. Hopefully, this starts a larger and expanded conversation about how to resolve anger faster.

Expectations

What did you want instead of what you got?

Expectations are a rich ground for which anger or happiness can sprout from. You should never give up on what you expect to happen, it may just be that the way you are going about it won't get you what you want. Therefore, project management is always the best course when managing expectations.

While getting what you want is the end result, how you get there affords many different paths. Some slower than others, so legal, some easy, some hard. But, there are many paths to the goal. No one path is right or wrong, unless you are stepping on someone elses rights.

The first rule in Project Management is .. Manage Expectations .. That means that you and anyone involved in this project needs to communicate what their expectations are, and hammer out how they are all going to be met. Or, if they can even be met. This resolves a lot of anger issues right off the bat.

Fair

Fair is not equal. Fair is not equity. Fair is what works for you to allow you to do the same things that others can do. For example, if you are in a wheel chair, then having a ramp to enter a building that has stairs is fair. There are other examples of fair for executive function, emotional dysregulation, and stimming. Just to name a few other problem areas, but these are internal vs external disabilities. And, it is much easier for the general audience to understand fair based on an external disability.

If someone else is allowed to play baseball in a park, and you are able to play baseball, then why can't you play baseball in the same park? The same goes for any other activity. Voting for example. But, what some people consider equality is that you have your park to play baseball in, and we have ours, and the two shall not cross. Like good and bad neighborhoods. You stay in yours and I'll stay in mine. (I think this is called Segregation.)

Fair happens when everyone has an equal shot at the same spot based on a lot of mitigating factors. It may not seem like it's equal when you don't make the cut, but at the same time, others who where kept out due to mitigating factors who also show promise are let in, get a chance to improve their entire community. This is the impetus of Affirmative Action, and H1B visas, or partnering with overseas corporations to produce American Consumer Products.

Flight

When something doesn't go the way we expect it to or doesn't seem fair, the first response to most situations for NeuroTypcials is to flee the scene and recover. This is a normal and expected response.

You see an angry tiger swatting at people and suddenly you realize that it's coming your way. What are you going to do? Are you trained to wrassle with anger tigers? Because, if not, then you're probably going to run and find shelter until the angry tiger moves on and then come out get to a safer spot.

Fight

ADHDrs come with a built in Challenge Accepted circuit, so most of the times we will engage in a fight for our rights and what's fair. This could be a physical fight or a legal battle or a battle of wills. But, it's that challenge circuit that gets many of us hauled in front of a judge to explain our actions.

Observe and Investigate

Some people when they get angry, use the energy to fuel their curiosity and investigate the reasons why their expectations are not being met. This may result in further actions being taken to resolve the disparities between their expectations and reality. This could be in the form of a letter writing campaign, telling a story, filing a law suite, or taking matters into your own hands.

As always, be careful when being a vigilante. You will find with most Republicans won't be interested in your plight until they have experienced the same trap you fell into and let them complain about their situation to other republicans for sympathy.

The idea here is to repurpose that challenge circuit into an .. I'm going to show you who's right and wrong in this situation .. mode and build a case that enumerates why your expectations are correct in how something should be handled, and how the other guy's expectations / response was not or inappropriate.

Cry

Crying is the physical expression of feeling helpless in a situation while you try to think of a way out of your situation. There is a difference between crying to alleviate emotional stress and using crying to guilt someone into doing something for you.

ADHDrs can handle kaos. ADHDrs can't handle stress.

When the stress becomes too much for our brains / bodies to handle we start to cry. There is nothing wrong with this. Have the cry, let your system reset and begin to move on. It's ok to let others see you cry as well. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

Crying becomes a problem when it's used to manipulate others to get what you want by guilt tripping them into changing their mind. Most of the time, all it does is annoy others who are trying to help you.

Depression

ADHD depress is not like NeuroTypical depression. ADHD depression is caused by a singular negative event that causes a chain reaction or cascade reaction in our brains. A thought storm is created when our brains start looping through all the negative events from our past, the inner monologue becomes negative, and all our thoughts about our self become negative.

While Depression and Anger are part of the 5 Stages of Grief.

Denial

Isolation

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

AHDrs need to reframe the original negative event in order to get out of the depressive state. Or, we need so many happy events that no negative thought has room to create a new negative emotional response and kickstart the whole process over again.

There is nothing wrong with being angry and depressed about a situation that hasn't gone the way you expected or needed it to. Whole drama series are written based on this concept. People make decisions hoping for the best outcome, but instead get the worst outcome and have to work their way out of it. It makes for great theater and entertainment. It's not so good when it's real life.

You were hoping to get into the college of your dreams and it didn't happen. Or, you lost someone special to you, even before you hand a chance to say good by or understood what it meant that you would never see them again.

Sometimes it takes time to process the emotional attachments you had to an expectation.

Resolving Anger

There is a better way. And, either you will find it, or your ADHD associative brain will find it for you.

Remember to take into account all the possibilities of a situation where the answer could be NO! The NO! may be to the specific path you are taking. So, remember there are other paths. They may be longer, harder, and cost more, but they do exist.

Remember that ADHDrs have event driven emotions. One negative event can cause us to spiral into a negative thought storm where our thoughts, inner monologue and memories constantly dredge up all the nasty shit that has failed in our lives. There are two ways out of this .. reframe the original event, or curate so many positive events it leaves no room for the negative events to continue.

Remember to remind yourself that you are no longer in the situation that made you angry the first time. The anger will be triggered over and over again, by similar issues. That current issues, is not the previous issue. Don't let it suck you back into the old issue. Remind yourself that you're not there.

If you don't find a way to resolve your anger, and it's getting in the way of your brains ability to function, your Associate Brain will wrap up all the memories, tie them into a bow, and seal them off from you. It will be as if the entire experience never happened. This is what happens to children who have experienced very traumatic incidents in their lives.

Conclusion

As I wrote this piece I thought of many different ways that ADHDrs could become angry. Suffice it to say, this piece focused on having the expectation of not getting financial aid or some other subsidy vs loosing a loved one, or the many other issues that could cause anger to arise. Each has it's own unique flavor on how is should be handled. But, in looking at these other situations, I the general principle on dealing with anger still holds true. Manage your expectations, have back up plans in place, reframe the issues causing anger, and remind yourself that it won't matter in time.

[delirious-donna]

I'm so so glad that you are taking requests, now I got plenty plenty ideas! But unfortunately, I don't wanna scare you lol. So I'm just going with the one running on my mind for a while-

Since you want the requests to be precise, here you go!

Pairing : Natsu/Lucy(cause they're the best duh)

Prompt : We all know that Lucy has somehow gotten the idea that Natsu is incapable of romance so in this story, Natsu somehow learns about her misconception and it makes him feel uncomfortable for some reasons. But he doesn't quite realise what he feels so he chooses to not think much about it. Meanwhile Lucy decides that she needs to put some boundary in their relationship since it's painful for her to confine her own feelings. I'm implying the regular physical contact between them(cuddles, sleeping in one bed, close proximity). She doesn't wanna ruin their precious friendship for the sake of her supressed emotions. Hence she slowly starts trying to move on, which she can't. Natsu finds it all too confusing and frustrating. He can't bring himself to imagine someone else with Lucy.

And I'm a big Gratsu brotp fan, Gray gets what's going on and helps out Natsu. You can write their convo as per your choice! Finally Natsu understands and in the end, talks to Lucy.

Hope you can finish it soon!

Time To Talk [NaLu]

an: Hi Anon! Firstly, I am so sorry it has taken me this long to get around to writing this for you!! Secondly, this is my first ever ask on tumblr so I hope I've done okay? I didn't anticipate it would turn out this long, and to be fair I probably could have made it longer but I reined myself in! XD

pairing: Natsu Dragneel x Lucy Heartfilia

warnings: SFW, fluff, angst, Natsu is oblivious, Gray is a good friend, just wholesome feelings being discovered, lil fight between ice and fire, injuries and a lil blood

Masterlist

A dull ache added to each beat of his heart. He didn’t understand it, why did it hurt? Rubbing the spot on his chest where his heart lay beneath, he frowned and replayed the conversation he had overheard, although he was sure he was not meant to.

“You don’t get it Mira, Natsu, he – he just isn’t capable of feeling the way I do. It hurts but I have to put a halt to this before I drown in my own misery.”

Natsu had pondered those words for the past few days, puzzling over what exactly Lucy had been trying to say and coming up with a big fat nothing. True indeed that the Fire Dragon Slayer was more than a little dense, but when it came to matters of the heart, he was simply inexperienced.

Entirely unaccustomed to emotions more complex than happiness, sadness, anger, fear and familial love, it was not surprising that he chose to ignore the pang in his heart whenever his hand brushed against Lucy’s. Oblivious to why his stomach flitted nervously with enormous bat-like moths whenever they were parted, which gave way to ticklish wing strokes of dainty butterflies when they were finally reunited.

He knew that Lucy meant more to him than the rest of his beloved Fairy Tail family, but when he tried to define it, he couldn’t. It was like the words were stuck fast in his throat, choking him until he was blue in the face and it was maddening for the poor boy.

It was dragging him down, making him grumpy and abrasive to those around him.

His callous roughened hands curled into tight fists, eyeing the prominent veins that stood proud against his tanned skin and wished for a good brawl. A fight with someone that could take his intensity, absorb his flames and throw back an equal amount of power. Something, anything to take his mind off this problem that he had no idea how to even start to unravel – let alone resolve.

Gray!

Ruffling his vividly pink hair, he grinned his signature toothy grin but it was not full of good humour this time, oh no, he had come up with a plan to hopefully squash all thought of Lucy’s words out of his head. If he could not solve the problem, he would knock it from his head and who better to engage in a physical smackdown than Gray Fullbuster.

He just had to go find him…

~

Lucy sighed.

This was harder than she had anticipated. She had meant what she said to Mira, it was more than time that she place some boundaries on her ‘relationship’ with Natsu. Could you even call it a relationship? Honestly, she didn’t know at this point.

It felt wrong to say it was only a friendship; it wasn’t normal for a male and female to share a bed more often than they slept separately. To wake up in the mornings entwined in limbs that did not belong to their own body, basking in the bodily heat that the other provided in a way that spoke much more than a platonic friendship.

Lucy felt the safest when she was physically touching Natsu, innocent enough with hands that brushed against one another until that alone had not been enough. The contact evolved into quick hugs and then into arms that remained draped around shoulders and waists long past the point that would seem appropriate.

The last thing she wished to do was jeopardise the friendship that they did have, she would box up her own swelling feelings for her precious Salamander, and swallow them down. A bitter pill indeed, but it would be for the best. How long she could have gone on pining for someone that she was confident would never return her feelings, she wasn’t sure, but it was best not to find out.

Yet, it was like dying a thousand deaths when she bore witness to the mixture of hurt and confusion that etched upon his face when she denied him entry to her bed. Forced him to curl up on her sofa instead, a sofa that was much too small to contain his hulking mass but it was either that or the floor.

The scrunch above the bridge of his nose, sharp eyebrows drawn low into a frown and his lips tipped down as if he had tasted something unpleasant on his tongue. It hurt, every intimate detail that she noted was an individual agony, but she resolved to follow through.

It’s for the best…

Lucy tried to remind herself of this fact in the dead of the night; listening to the ferocious draconic snores of the Dragon Slayer in the next room. Sleep refused to come to her, dancing around her restless form that was much too small within this bed. Her fingers grabbed for the pillow that Natsu used, dragging it to her chest and nuzzling her face into the downy soft material. Inhaling that all too familiar scent of campfires that tickled her nose in the most addicting way and letting the tears fall freely.

Why couldn’t you love me like I love you, Natsu?

~

“What you staring at Ice Princess?”

Gray turned to spot an agitated looking Natsu. He cocked an eyebrow, watching intently as the pink haired idiot smacked his fists together until they ignited. The flames wreathed his hands, dancing their ritualistic war dance along his skin until they reached his muscled shoulders.

This was getting excessive now.

The Ice Mage was used to bouts of aggression with Natsu, the pair of them always keen to square off and prove who was the better mage, but this smacked of something else entirely. Barely a day went by without the two of them being dragged apart by Erza, and on one occasion, even Master Makarov had intervened.

Something was wrong, he could sense it like an approaching thunderstorm. The air was as thick as molasses, sticky on the skin and dragging the oxygen from the lungs until they burned.

His eye twitched as Natsu bumped into his chest with his own, their forehead inches from colliding and then he noticed it. The faint purplish colour under the Salamander’s blazing obsidian eyes, the near-constant grind of his sharp jaw and the sadness that he was trying to mask with his aggression.

Gray had known that Lucy was not her usual self either. Similar to how Natsu appeared, she was tired and often close to tears over apparently nothing. He was a smart man and putting two and two together, the answer was clear enough. Things were not as rosy as they normally were between the princess and her dragon. He would get to the bottom of this, but first, a good beat down sounded like fun.

He played along with the pathetic lure that Natsu had baited him with, knowing that the fiery male would be more willing to open up if he were to be physically exhausted.

“Staring at a pathetic piece of shit, that’s what!”

The fists flew in a flurry of movement; connecting with steely jaws and hardened stomachs. Ice met fire, the opposing elements engaging in a battle of their own. Fireballs flew in every direction, Natsu was getting sloppy in his technique and it worried Gray. He had to bring this to a close quickly.

“Ice Make – Ice Geyser” the raven haired male roared.

He leapt back as the ground around Natsu erupted with deadly looking ice spikes. His opponent managed to dodge the worst of them, as he had predicted he would, but he was not at his best. Ice wrapped around his left ankle and quickly coursed up his leg until he was immobilised from the waist down on one side.

Natsu panted heavily, his chest heaving with every breath he took and a nasty swelling already blooming over his right eye from an uppercut that Gray had landed earlier in the fight. A trickle of blood oozed from his cut brow and bathed the side of his face in blood. Cuts around the eye always had the worst way of making it look so much worse than it actually was.

“Feeling better?” Gray asked as he slowly melted the ice to free his friend.

The pink haired male fell to his knees and then back onto his butt. He pulled his knees up to his chest and linked his arms around his thighs whilst his cheek rested atop. Gray dropped to the dusty ground, giving Natsu enough space to not feel crowded but close enough to reassure him that he was willing to listen.

“Not really man,” came the quiet reply.

Manifesting a small lump of ice, he wrapped it in his discarded top and offered it to the Dragon Slayer.

“Something wrong with you and Lucy? I was sure you guys were as solid as a rock…”

Natsu scoffed as he pressed the makeshift icepack to his swollen eye.

“You tell me, I – I just don’t know what has changed. If I’ve done or said something that I shouldn’t have. Fuck, I wanted to forget about this but I overheard a conversation between Lucy and Mira. I still don’t understand it but it won’t leave my head. I thought that beating it out would be best, but you can see how well that has worked.”

The words poured from his mouth like a dam bursting its banks. He pounded his bloodied fist against the ground, kicking up dirt and small pebbles under the intensity of his strength.

“What did she say?” Gray asked tentatively, not wishing to interrupt but needing more context than he had been given so far.

Natsu reiterated the words he had heard and Gray understood immediately. This was just like him, he couldn’t see what was right in front of his face. Oblivious wasn’t the right definition, for he knew it was there, more like overwhelmed and uncertain.

“Fucksake… Natsu.”

“What?! What the fuck am I missing here? Will someone just tell me?! I cannot stand the not knowing, it’s killing me and Lucy is drifting away from me and I don’t know why,” he yelled, his voice raw with pure unfiltered emotion.

Gray huffed through his nose as he pinched at the bridge to stem the headache that was fast blooming.

“Is Lucy your friend?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“Of course she is!”

“Do you think that she could be more than a friend?”

A look of confusion descended on the portion of Natsu’s face that he could see, and Gray would swear he could see the cogs whirring and grinding in his brain as he scrambled to understand what that meant.

“Let me put it this way flamebrain, how would you feel if you were to walk in on me kissing Lucy? Like passionately kissing, my fingers tangled in her golden hair, pressing my-”

His words were cut off as the Dragon Slayer lunged from his throat.

Gray chuckled darkly as he managed to avoid being grabbed and shackling the enraged male with ice once more.

“Don’t like that thought do you?” he smirked.

“Bring your fucking face here right this second, I want to knock your damn teeth out!” Natsu roared like a feral beast. His face was as vividly pink as his hair, veins popping on his forehead as he strained against his bitterly cold restraints.

“Natsu, calm yourself.

“Listen, man, Lucy thinks that you do not see her as anything other than a friend, but given how you just reacted, I think it’s safe to say that your feelings are more than simply born of friendship. You need to talk to her, she is pushing you away to save her heart. I bet it is killing her to do so, and you need to stop it before it becomes irreparable. Understand?”

The dawn of comprehension was amusing to watch. The metaphorical light bulb moment seemed silly to imagine until it was basically happening in front of his eyes.

~

The walk along the canal that led Lucy towards the Fairy Tail guildhall was no longer a comfort, instead, her feet felt leaden. She knew he would be there, Natsu had left her apartment earlier in the morning and had not yet returned. Part of her wished to return to bed, to wrap herself tightly in the lingering scent of him on her bedsheets and stay there forever.

Her morose thoughts were interrupted as a blur of motion came barrelling towards her.

As if summoned by her thoughts alone, Natsu stood in front of her, out of breath and looking badly beaten up. The blonde gasped at the wound on his eyebrow and the eye that was practically swollen shut.

“Natsu! What happened? Do you need me to find-”

Time stood still as he interrupted her words to pull her into a tight bear hug. Her feet dangled and for a moment she didn’t know how to react. It didn’t last long as her arms hooked around his neck and she squeezed him in return.

A wealth of tears sprung from her eyes as she lost herself within his embrace, how she had missed this. Lucy buried her face into the soft fabric of his scarf, the intense scent of him filling her to capacity as she let the barricades come tumbling down.

Her heart was in ruins, and she knew right then that she would never be able to stuff these feelings down ever again. She didn’t know what this would mean for their future, and it hurt her to think of having to physically move away to find any semblance of closure or peace.

“Luce,” he mumbled into her hair.

She gasped as she realised he too was inhaling her scent, one hand spearing into her blonde hair, holding her to him as the other crushed her torso to his own.

At long last they parted, her feet once again kissed the ground and she hesitantly met his gaze.

“We’ve gotta talk Luce, let’s go home.”

[americancowgirl19]

Tommy’s Little Girl

Summary: You’re the most precious thing to Thomas Shelby. So, when a guy comes into your life he isn’t the most supportive.

Warnings: fluff, angst, cursing

Reader: Female Reader

Pairings: Tommy Shelby x Daughter!Reader, Reader x Male Character (H/n = His name, he can be whoever you want)

Word Count: 5,261

A/n: This was a request by an anon - Please can I request that Tommy Shelby’s daughter becomes engaged to a man behind his back and he refuses to acknowledge the engagement while the rest of the family do. After six months, just before the wedding, Tommy finally comes around to the idea... So, I added a few things to this request, I hope you still like it! I was just going to do the scene that the anon requested but I personally love writing who stories and backgrounds and shit so you get to see an entire life at Tommy’s daughter with the request included! Oh, and John doesn’t die cause fuck that.

Masterlist

You were the ultimate daddy’s girl. From the moment you were born you and your father were inseparable. The only thing that tore you apart was the war. You were barely two years old when he went off to serve his country.

When he left he entrusted Polly to look after you. Of course she treated you as if you were her own. She protected you as fiercely as she protected your father, uncles and aunt. Especially when your Aunt Kitty, Kitty Jurossi, showed up demanding that you were to go with her.

Kitty is your mother’s sister. She never approved of Greta being with Tommy. While Tommy taking care of Greta in her final days and loving her as he did was honorable, Kitty knew what kind of man he is. She knew what kind of family he had, what kind of business he partook in. She didn’t want you around them.

Polly always thought it was amusing how Kitty waited until Tommy was out of country to try and collect you. Kitty wrongfully assumed that Polly would just hand you over. Your mother’s sister was lucky she was able to return to her home with her life, especially when she tried to forcefully take you.

You remembered that day very vaguely. You don’t remember what happened but you remembered the yelling, someone grabbing you painfully and how scared you were. Your father had just left you for the longest time in your life and now this woman was trying to take you from the person you considered your mother.

The years without your father were long and unmemorable. When he finally returned home you were five going on six. You waited on the train platform with Polly, Ada and Finn. Polly kept a tight hold on you as the soldiers came off the train and went to their families.

You tried to find him but you were far too short and all of them were wearing the same uniform and cap. You jumped in your spot just itching to run into his arms. It didn’t matter that you didn’t really remember specific details of him. You remembered the feeling you had with him. You remembered being safe and happy with him. You remembered being sad and lonely without him. You’d rather be safe and happy than the other part.

“There they are!” Ada shouts. Your head darts to where she was pointing. When you spotted him not even Polly was able to hold you back.

You remember him shoving his way through the others to get to you. When you were close he dropped to his knees and pulled you into his arms. You clung to him.

Then, just like before he left, the two of you were inseparable once again. The only time you weren’t together was when you were sleeping (although on rough nights you often found your way in his bed) or when he had dangerous Peaky business.

You were the Shelby princess. You were untouchable. You didn’t figure out how much you could get away with until you were older. You could murder his best friend - not that you ever killed anyone - and the longest he’d stay mad at you would be a few hours, a day at most.

Anything you wanted was yours. You were spoiled but you were also kind and generous. You had bratty streaks but who didn’t? You may have been the light of your father’s life but you were John’s partner in crime. Whenever his own kids got too much or he wanted to pick on his brother’s you were the one he came too.

As much as he did truly enjoy spending time with you, John also knew that with you by his side he wouldn’t get into as much trouble as he would without you. All you had to do was give your pretty little smile and bat those eyelashes and Tommy was wrapped around your finger.

Even when your siblings came into the world you were number one. You didn’t exactly like Charlie, not Grace, at first. They stole your father’s attention, something you weren’t used to sharing. Eventually you warmed up to them.

You were sad when Grace died but not nearly to the extreme as your father. His heart break broke your own heart. You felt as if nothing you did eased his pain. In reality, you were the one person keeping him from completely spiraling. He spiraled but just being with you managed to slowly bring him back.

You were a little more welcoming toward Lizzie and then Ruby. By the time Ruby came around you adored Charlie. Ruby quickly wiggled her way into your heart. You became fiercely protective of them. You helped Lizzie with them when Tommy got too busy. When you needed a break you joined your father to the office and he would continue explaining what he did.

To you, life was perfect. You had everything you needed and everything you wanted. Tommy kept you in the business just enough to satisfy you but not enough to put you directly in danger. You didn’t understand a lot of the politics and drama within the family but to you it didn’t matter. You had your family, you had your fun, and life was great.

Then, as you were creeping up on your mid-twenties, you met the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. You were in the market with Lizzie, Polly, and Ruby. You had wandered a bit from the others. There was some jewelry you were looking at when he came over. 

He was tall, muscular, and extremely handsome. He had a boyish smile and a flirtatious personality. It didn’t take you long to also figure out that he was clumsy and adorable. You were instantly hooked.

You two talked (flirted) for longer than you thought. Before you knew it Polly, Lizzie and Ruby were rejoining you. Polly was weary of him but it was obvious that he quickly won Lizzie over.

Much to your displeasure, once the three of them showed up you were quickly whisked away from him. Polly had said it was time to go and not many people were brave enough to argue with her. 

Even on the way home you thought about him. You hoped that you would see him again but you figured it was unlikely.

Word got around about you meeting Mr. Handsome at the market. Your uncles teased you and Ada interrogated you. Your father was oddly quiet on the other hand. He didn’t want to talk about it, so he didn’t. He just hoped that your paths wouldn’t cross again.

Tommy knew you were getting older but that didn’t mean he liked it. He wanted you to stay his little girl for a while longer. He wished you were still small enough to ride on his shoulders and small enough for him to engulf you in his arms. But you were growing into a beautiful young lady. Whether he liked it or not other men were bound to recognize your beauty and seek you out. He had been lucky, for the most part, about your disinterest in dating, but it wasn’t going to last.

Most of the women your age were already married with at least one child. You were content by yourself. You were gaining responsibilities with the business and being your father’s personal helper. Even though you were content you wanted more. You wanted your own family to come home to with your own kids.

Fortunately, for Tommy, you wouldn’t see the boy from the market for quite some time. It had been so long you had forgotten about him. Until suddenly he showed back up.

The Shelby’s were having a night at the fights. You were enjoying yourself. You didn’t get dolled up often but when you did you went all out. You felt beautiful thus making you feel confident. On top of that, everyone knew exactly who you were which meant heads turned in your direction everywhere you went. You felt important, untouchable. 

You sat with your aunt Ada, Aunt Polly, and step mother Lizzie. The three of you were talking amongst yourselves while the boys hollered at the match in front of them. When the fighters changed out you happened to look up and there he was.

Ada had been talking to you but you suddenly stopped listening. He was bigger, more muscular, than you remember. He didn’t seem as clumsy anymore yet he was just as handsome. 

“Y/n,” Ada shouts over the crowd.

“Oh, will you look at that,” Lizzie states looking at who you were staring at.

“Who’s he?” Ada questions. Lizzie reminds her about the guy from the market you had met over a year prior. You continued to ignore them.

Right before the match started his eyes connected with yours. He obviously recognized you. He sent you the same boyish smile he had in the market causing a light blush to come to your cheeks. He bravely sent you a wink before focusing on the fight.

Your eyes remained glued on him with Tommy’s eyes started at you. He had noticed the interaction and didn’t like it in the slightest.

When the match ended, with his unfortunate loss, you excused yourself to the loo. You weren’t fooling anybody. Everyone who paid attention knew where you were going and Tommy had half a mind to stop you when something grabbed his attention. The split second his attention was off of you gave you the time you needed to disappear into the crowd.

“H/n,” You say, standing in the doorway of the locker room. You were slightly nervous - a lot nervous - but you weren’t 100% sober so that helped. His head snapped up at the sound of your voice.

“Y/n,” He says, turning away from his locker and toward you. “Shelby,” He adds. You hadn’t told him who you were. It was obvious he hadn’t known back then and you wanted to keep it that way.

“In the flesh,” You gave him a twirl. “You fought well tonight,”

“I lost,” He deadpanned but didn’t look all that bothered by it..

“Caught me attention,” You told him.

“Guess it wasn’t a complete loss then, aye?” He smirks. “How about you make me a winner tonight and agree to a date?” You blushed.

“I can do that,” You agreed.

From there your relationship blossomed. The two of you fell for each other quickly. He started showing up around the family more. Your uncles hazed him, Ada and Polly constantly interrogated him, and your father silently judged him. No matter how hard you or H/n tried, your father never came around.

H/n didn’t care about Tommy’s disapproval of him. He loved you with all his heart and nobody was going to keep you from him. He may be funny, charismatic and handsome but he knew he was selfish with a side of possessive. In his mind, you were his and he wasn’t letting you go. He would do anything to keep you and to keep you happy.

It honestly was no surprise that less than a year later the two of you were engaged. He had taken you out on a picnic under the stars on a beach. You had dinner, went swimming and had a fire in the sand. While stargazing he proposed with a beautiful ring. You didn’t hesitate to say yes.

The next day, as you two were makin breakfast, you asked how your father handled him asking for permission when H/n told you he never asked. It shocked you that H/n didn’t talk to Tommy first. You knew when it came to your father H/n was a little rebellious but this was different. Honestly, you were a bit upset he didn’t speak with Tommy first. 

It hadn’t even been twenty four hours since your engagement and the two of you were thrown into a fight. A minor one but a fight nonetheless. He didn’t see why it mattered seeing as the two of you were getting married with or without his permission. You argued that it wasn’t his permission you were looking for but your blessing. H/n didn’t understand just how close you and Tommy are but you wished he would at least respect it.

Eventually, he apologized when he finally noticed just how important Tommy’s approval meant to you. You promised H/n that you would marry him no matter what but keeping it from your father was not an option. H/n promised to talk to him.

A few days passed and then a week. H/n still didn’t talk to Tommy. You were fed up and decided to do it yourself. When you arrived at the Arrow House all you found were Lizzie and Ruby. 

Ruby instantly spotted the ring. You desperately wanted to talk to Tommy first but since you weren’t getting passed you sister not Lizzie you conceded.

“So, when did he pop the question?” Ruby asked.

“About two weeks ago,” You answered, a large smile on your face. “He asked me on the beach under the stars,” Ruby swooned but Lizzie didn’t seem to be paying attention anymore. You looked at her. You tensed noticing her looking behind you. Slowly, you turned around and saw your father standing there.

His eyes stare into your eyes and for the first time in your life you can’t figure out what he was thinking. He seemed emotionless but you couldn’t tell if the look in his eyes was anger or disappointment. His eyes glanced down at your hand, at your ring.

“Dad, I-” You didn’t get a chance to explain. He turned around and walked out of the house. You were shocked. He never did that to you. He always let you speak no matter what he was feeling. When you snapped out of it you quickly went after him but he was already in the car driving down the road. “Dad! Wait, please!” But he just keeps driving.

“He’ll come around,” Ruby tries to comfort but her words just go in one ear and right out the other.

For weeks your father avoided you like the plague. You walked into a room, he walked out. You tried to talk, he talked over you. You tried to get his attention, he ignored you. You tried for over a month before deciding to give him some space and focus on planning your wedding.

With the help of Ada, Ruby, Polly, and Esme you planned the wedding. Every day you got a step closer to the date. Every day you got more excited. Yet one thing continued to dampen your mood.

“Y/n, come in,” Esme greets, stepping aside to let you into her home.

“Is John here? I want to talk to him,” You say, fiddling with your fingers nervously. Esme smiles kindly and nods.

“Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll fetch him,” She suggests before disappearing into the house. You walk into the parlor. You smile and play with your cousins for a bit before John finally joins you.

“I wanted to ask you something,” You say after he shoos the kids away. He gives you his attention. You take in a deep breath as tears mist over your eyes. He looks more concerned by the second. “I was wondering if you... would walk me down the aisle,” John frowns his eyebrows.

“You want me?” He asks, shocked. “What about Tom-”

“He hasn’t spoken to me for months,” You snap, struggling to keep your tears from falling. “He can hardly look at me or stand to be in the same room. I think it’s safe to say he’s not coming,” You try to sound angry but curse silently when your voice grows more shaky. John sighs.

“Come here, sweetheart,” He opens his arms and you quickly close the distance between the two of you. He holds you tightly as you cry in his chest. “Tommy’s being a right arse at the moment, everyone knows that,” He mutters. “But nothing in the world is going to stop him from walking you down that aisle,”

“H/n being at the end of it might,” You mutter. John laughs quietly.

“Love, if Tommy really hated H/n, he would be dead by now,” John says truthfully. You see the logic in his statement but it hardly lifts your spirits. 

“The wedding is in two weeks,” You whisper. “He hasn’t budged yet,”

“I want you to do something for me,” John says, pulling back just enough to look at your face and wipe your tears. “I want you to think through your entire life and tell me a time where you didn’t get your way with Tommy,” John challenges. “I’m not even going to wait because it never bloody happened,” You smile a bit. “Now, this has been the longest you’ve had to wait for him to come around but trust me, he is incapable of not doing what you want,”

“Will you still be on standby?” You ask him. He smirks and kisses your forehead.

“Of course,” He whispers. “Bloody hell, has anyone said no to you before?” He asks, smirking as he steps away from you.

“What can I say? I’m everyone’s sweetheart,” You smile. John rolls his eyes and offers for you to stay for dinner, which you accept.

When you returned home you noticed H/n was home as well. You had moved out of Arrow house before the engagement, something your father strongly disagreed with.

When you walked inside, H/n was waiting up for you. You hadn’t meant to be home so late. It’s just when you’re with John and his kids they just make the time fly by. Luckily, H/n didn’t seem upset just tired.

“Come here,” He mutters, opening his arms. You smile and settle in his lap enjoying the feeling of his thick arms wrapped around your body. “Were you at Arrow House?” He asks.

“No, I went to see Uncle John,” You tell him. He hums curiously. “I wanted to ask if he’d walk me down the aisle,” You whisper. H/n holds you tighter.

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” He whispers to you. “I shouldn’t have proposed without asking for his blessing or at least mentioning it to him,”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” You grumbled before sighing. “But this is much more than that. Something else is bothering him,”

“You’re his precious girl, he’ll talk eventually,” He reassures you. You don’t respond, you simply cuddle deeper into his embrace.

A week passed. You had five days until your wedding. You woke up excited as you daydreamed about the day. However, your happiness didn’t last.

BRITIAN     AT    WAR    WITH    GERMANY

Your father and uncles had fought in the first war. The supposed ‘war to end all wars’. Now, only a short few years later there was another war. A war the next generation would fight. A war your H/n volunteered to join.

You were in the kitchen cleaning up. You were doing everything you could to keep buys. Britain was officially at war and you were terrified. You knew everything was going to change. Deep down you knew it would happen but it didn’t register until he was right in front of you.

“When do you leave?” You whisper, desperately trying to stay together as you look at H/n. He was in his uniform with papers in his hand.

“Thursday,” H/n hesitantly whispers. You close your eyes and hang your head. Not only was your soon-to-be husband going off to fight this war but he was leaving before your wedding. On top of that, you only had two more days with him.

“Why do you have to leave?” You whimpered. He doesn’t answer. He just closes the gap between the two of you and pulls you into a tight hug. He hugged you as if he could single handedly keep you from falling apart.

“I will come back to you, Y/n Shelby,” He states firmly. “Heaven nor hell will keep me from you, you have me word,”

“I love you,” You whisper, clinging to him. He pulls back just enough to tilt your head up to his lips. He doesn’t verbally respond but he tries to pour all his love and determination to return to you in the breathtaking kiss.

You cling to him for as long as you can but eventually have to let him go. While he didn’t leave until Thursday he had much to get done before then. He promised he would be back in a few hours but you didn’t want to be alone.

The first thing you did was go to Polly. You froze when you saw her drying her cheeks. Finn had volunteered as well. Together you both cried. 

Finn might have technically been your uncle but he was more of a brother. There was only a few years difference between the two of you. Polly had raised you both. You hated that you could possibly not only lose H/n but Finn as well.

Luckily Charlie was still too young to join but only for another year. You had no doubt that he would join up the first chance he got. He’s Tommy’s son. Neither of them were good at backing down.

When you left Polly you went to Arrow House. You were done. You were done with your father’s stubbornness. You were done with his silence and his judgmental stares. He could be mad about the wedding all he wanted but you needed him to come back to you.

“Did H/n..?” Lizzie’s voice dissipates. She didn’t want to finish the question and she didn’t have too. You just nod and accept her comforting hug. You’ve cried the majority of the day and knew you weren’t done yet. You knew the second you went face to face with Tommy you’d fall apart all over again.

“Where is he?” You ask.

“In his office,” Lizzie says knowing exactly who you were wanting. “Most likely on his second bottle by now,” You sighed, rubbing your face tiredly. “I’ll make some tea,” You send her a smile and a nod.

You don’t even bother to knock, you rarely did. There wasn’t a room you knew about that you weren’t welcome into. Inside you found your father slouched in his chair with a full glass in his hands. He doesn’t bother to look at you. You don’t even know if he registers your presence. 

“I don’t know what you’re so mad at me about,” You began. Your voice sounded strong and you hoped it stayed that way. “Yes, H/n asked me to marry him. No, I didn’t know at the time that he didn’t talk to you but get over it. You haven’t made his time in this family easy, no wonder he doesn’t want to talk to you. 

“When you found out you found out too soon. I was there to talk to you about it but Ruby and Lizzie saw me first. This wasn’t something I wanted to keep from you, I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry,” You whisper. Hope fills you a bit when he glances at you in the corner of his eye. “I know something else is bothering you but I don’t know what it is and I need you to work it out some how because I need you, dad,” You whimper. 

He finally looks at you. 

“These last few months have been so hard without you and now H/n is going off to war, I’m not sure if I’m even going to get married, and you still won’t fucking talk to me!” You shouted but the tears in your eyes betrays your anger. “I’m scared out of my mind I’m going to lose H/n, that I’m going to lose Finn... That I already lost you,” A few tears fall down your face. “I’m sorry for whatever I did, please forgive me because I need you so fucking back,”

By the end you were close to sobbing and falling to you knees. You sobbed but you never fell. Tommy was out of his seat and was wrapping his arms around you before your knees could give away.

He leads you to the couch and sits down. You curl into his chest like you used to do when you were younger. He hums quietly and rocks you.

“You didn’t lose me, darling girl,” He whispers to you. “I’m so sorry for the way I’ve acted. I should have never treated you like I have. No, I don’t like H/n but not because of who he is but because he’s taking my little girl from me,” You tilt your head to look at him. “For nearly 26 years you have been the center of my world,” He whispers quietly. “Through everything, you have been the most important constant in my life. There were many times you were my only source of happiness, my only will to live,” He admits. “I’m terrified of what I’ll do without you,”

“You’ll never be without me,” You whisper to him. “I live ten minutes away and you’ll still see me daily whether H/n likes it or not,” Tommy smiles a bit. “And maybe when the war is over you’ll have more mini me’s running around,” Tommy scowls at the thought of the process of making children rather than the thought of the actual kids.

“You’re happy with him?” You nod. “You love him and he loves you?” You nod again. “Has he hurt you?” You shake your head. He sighs, slightly frustrated with the lack of reason to murder H/n. Not that he really needed a reason but he knew if he did he would hurt you. He’s already hurt you enough as it is. “Then you have my blessing,” You smile at him.

“He leaves before the wedding,” You whisper. He shrugs.

“So, move the wedding up,” He says nonchalantly. 

“How are we going to set everything up before Thursday?” You ask. He smirks.

“You don’t worry about a thing,” He kisses your forehead. “Let me call Ada, Pol, and Esme. They’ll help you get ready and I’ll worry about the rest,”

“You avoided this wedding the entire time, now you’re going to plan in within a few hours?” You ask.

“I’m Thomas Shelby,” He said as if it were the cure to all diseases. “Up you get,” He gently pushes you out of his lap. “No worrying,” He points at you before kissing your forehead again.

“Who’s going to want to celebrate at a time like this?” You ask before he leaves. He turns toward you and smiles softly.

“Right now is the perfect time to celebrate a moment like this,” Tommy tells you. You can see the honesty in his eyes and can tell he’s briefly reliving the past. You hate that his past is always haunting him and you pray that you’ll be able to help H/s if... when he comes back to you. “Relax, get ready, and I’ll see you in a few hours.”

It didn’t take long for Ada, Polly and Esme to show up. Polly had your dress and Ada had your accessories. The three of them with Lizzie and Ruby helped you get ready for the wedding.

As you got ready, Tommy went to your home where he found H/n just returning. It was obvious that he was surprised to see Tommy but he invited his future in-law inside nonetheless.

“I was a few years younger than you when I was shipped off to France,” Tommy explained to him. “When I returned I wasn’t the same. Nobody who goes through what we went through, what you will go through, returns the same,” Tommy warns. “Y/n was five or six when I got back. She helped give me a reason to keep waking up, to keep moving. When you come back, you’ll need someone that will be able to anchor you into the present. Don’t push people away, especially Y/n... She won’t let you,” Tommy advises with a soft smile as he thinks about you.

“I won’t,” H/s vows.

“You say that now but I promise it’ll be very tempting when you return,” Tommy says. Casually, Tommy walks closer. “Everyone that returns deals with the past differently. I won’t judge you for the drinks you’ll have or even the drugs you may take,” Tommy shrugs. “But if you come back and you turn violent again Y/n at any point. If you so much as hurt her one time, I will personally dig your grave and put you in it,” Tommy promises. “You will come back, you’ll deal with it however you can, and you’ll take care of Y/n and the family you’ll have. If you can’t do that, don’t marry her and walk away now.”

“I love you daughter. I want her happy and I’ll give my life to keep her safe,” H/s vows.

“Good,” Tommy nods. “That’s my little girl. Her happiness is everything to me. You give me one reason to kill you and I promise you and whatever god is out there that I will take that chance,”

“Understood,” H/n slowly nods.

“Good,” Tommy nods again. “Well, let’s get going, you’re getting married in a few hours,” Tommy says walking toward the door. He pulls out a cigarette and begins to light it.

“I am?” H/n calls out confused. Tommy just keeps walking and H/n jogs to catch up.

A few hours later, John and Arthur show up to collect the women.

“Your chariot awaits madam,” Arthur announces loudly. You couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear as he leads you to the car. John winks at you playfully.

“Told you he’d come around,” John teased.

“Should have cried in front of him sooner, that usually does the trick,” You joke back. John grins wider and kisses your head.

“Alright! Let’s get a move on, we’ve got a wedding to get too!” Arthur hollers. When you arrive where the rest of the gypsies and Peaky Blinders are, they cheer for your arrival.

Tommy greets you at the car looking handsome as ever.

“I hope I’m still allowed to walk you down,” He mutters helping you out of the car.

“Of course,” You smile leaning into him. He kisses your head and leads you toward the aisle. At the end you find H/s standing there looking breathtaking. “I’m scared,” You whisper.

“That’s alright,” He promises, slowly walking you toward your future husband. “There’s going to be moment where you’re scared but there will never be a moment where you’re alone,” He tells you. You tighten your arm around his. “These last few months will never happen again,” He vows. “I’ll be there anytime and every time you need me,”

“I know,” You whisper. 

When you reach the end, Tommy turns toward you. You smile up at him. He gently cups the side of your face.

“I love you,” He whispers, gently kissing your forehead. His lips linger as he remembers the day you were born, the day he left and came back from the war. He remembered every moment he shared with you. He hated that future memories would be shared with H/n but as long as you were there he wouldn’t mind.

“I love you too,” You whisper back, basking in the warmth and safety of his embrace for a moment longer. Tommy hesitantly steps back. You both share a smile before he hands you off to your soon-to-be husband.

[twistedmusings]

How the dorm leaders react when they catch you kissing someone from their dorm [Part 2]

A/N: AND HERE IT IS! Oh my god I still can't believe I managed to get this done! I actually stayed on task! Honestly these three were probably my favourite from the original post, I've had far too much fun writing these bois.

And what can I say? Playfully flirty MC is a good MC u wu

Warnings: Heavy smooching, possessive talk, and the reader just really pushing the dorm leader's buttons~

Part 1 here!

“How dare you...?”

Vil was more than happy to be coming back to Pomefiore with all the stuff that had happened today. Classes were more annoying than usual, he had to chase Leona down to tell him to get his work done and there had been some problems in the modeling studio that caused the lights to be brighter than usual and now he had a headache that only a nap could fix.

Thing was, if he wanted to keep his schedule as tight as possible he would need to stay awake for...another 6 hours.

One good thing was waiting for him though. Rook had greeted him at the entrance and let him know that the Ramshackle prefect was in the dorm today as per his request.

Good.

This would keep him awake. He remembers promising you a lesson in proper skincare in order to remedy whatever you did once you woke up in the morning. Deep in the back of his head he remembers you telling him that you just splash cold water on your face but he preferred to think that you at least put some sort of moisturizer. Maybe.

He rushes to his room to freshen up and makes sure that he has the materials he needs. Vil had decided that his own brand of face cleansing products would be a good start for your skin. The tingles in his fingertips went ignored as he thought of you thinking about him in the morning. It wasn’t that sort of thing at all, he reminded himself. Dorm leaders were supposed to help each other out, despite how often they were at each other’s throats, and he was just fulfilling his role not just as a dorm leader but as a...friend.

Vil takes one last look at the mirror and makes his way down the row of rooms in Pomefiore to reach the Lounge, only to stop when he sees you being pulled into one of the many rooms by what was clearly a Pomefiore’s students hand.

Wait what?

It’s almost alarming how quickly he approaches the door and puts his foot in it, choosing to stay quiet as he sees that the two people in the room didn’t even bother to wonder why the door hadn’t closed all the way. The student was pressing kisses against your lips in small intervals, choosing instead to talk as you run your hands up the expensive purple robe and taking in the little designs.

“I had a new lip scrub I wanted you to try out.”

“Really? Then why aren’t we in the bathroom?"

“That’s rather forward for a dorm leader. Is everyone in Ramshackle this daring?”

Vil couldn’t even pinpoint the student’s name. That was your first offense. The only thing he remembers about him is the man’s caramel brown hair and how it contrasted beautifully against his dark skin. After that, nothing could pop into his head that would make that student even remotely interesting for you to be hanging off of him like that! Of all the people to be with, it just had to be a nameless potato, didn’t it?

The hairs at the back of his head stand up as the potato hands you what he believes to be the best lip scrub in the business, which only makes the alarms in Vil’s head go off even louder. That brand wasn’t even known for doing lip scrubs! In fact, they once put out a three in one shampoo/conditioner and the fact that the student even had that brand in the dorms and you just blatantly accepting it was your second offense.

And as much as he wanted to focus on that being the thing that truly bothered him, he felt the alarms deafening him as he saw the potato’s hands wrap around your waist as he kissed you again, your lips parting to let him inside.

He shouldn’t be looking at this, he should be leaving and just leave you to your own devices. The lesson wasn’t important, you weren’t that important to him--

Amethyst eyes widen when you tilt your head as the student starts kissing down your neck, already choosing one spot to make his own as he licks and nips at the skin while you dig your fingers into his robe.

Vil didn’t really know how to describe the sudden surge of energy that caused him to fling the door open and grab the student by the back of his robe and pull him backwards, eyes glaring at you the entire time as you whisper his name, as if suddenly remembering that you had a previous engagement before this whole ‘sticking your tongue down a Pomefiore student’s throat’’ business.

“Prefect. My room. Now.”

You put your hands up and walk out of the room without looking at him, Vil letting go of the student’s robes and walking out after you. He didn’t even need to tell him that he was in trouble, the student would realize it soon enough once Rook delivered the chores that needed to be done by tonight.

A list only that student would be getting instead of the entire dorm.

Vil closes the door of his room and turns the lock rather harshly, looking back at you sitting at the edge of his bed still staring at the window. You weren’t trying to defend yourself, you weren’t even looking at him.

“I hate to be kept waiting, Prefect. Not just that, it is extremely rude to keep someone waiting just so you can fraternize with someone in my dorm.”

No answer. He grabs his desk chair and sits down so he can face you directly.

“What made you go and pick that potato?”

“Why would that be any of your business Vil-senpai?”

It was very much his business, if you asked him. He would have been okay if it was Epel or even Rook that you had picked to make out with but he wasn’t just going to stand around and watch as one of the student’s whose name he didn’t even know threw all of his work out of the window! So he asked the question again, this time getting a chuckle as an answer which only served to upset him even more.

“Out of anyone in my dorm you could have picked, you had to go with someone who offers you such a low quality brand of lip scrub?”

“That is your problem with this? What he offered me? Me and him just started hanging out, we know nothing about each other! I just wanted to change that.”

His headache was coming back again.

Vil put hard work into everything he did. That was his work ethic and people be damned if they thought it was too much. Maybe they couldn’t handle it but they still respected it, respected his craft and the work he put into it.

So why do you, of all of his recent projects, disrespect him so blatantly?

It was clear you weren’t ready yet, Vil wasn’t done working with you yet. After doing something like this, and right inside his dorm, he knew that you had just taken all of the careful brushes and strokes he had decorated your canvas with…

And burnt it right in front of his eyes.

Which is why he didn’t necessarily feel any guilt when he grabbed your cheeks and pulled his own lipstick out of his back pocket, ignoring your protests.

“Quiet.”

He applies the shade quickly and before you have any chance to protest, pushes his lips against yours.

The kiss is anything but sweet. It’s almost punishing. Vil was reminding you that you were a work in progress. He still had so much left to teach you, so much left to work with you and if you kept rushing things you were going to make him mad. Once he was done with you, you could go about your pitiful little life and kiss whoever you wanted and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash.

A hand grasps at his wrists as you press his palms on your cheeks, your tongue gently pressing against his lips so you could slip inside--

Nevermind. This sort of impatient kissing would also have to go.

He pulls away and pushes you onto the mattress, your eyes hazy with eagerness and confusion as Vil removes his jacket and gloves and leans down to trap you below him.

“Were you this greedy with him? Did he also get this treatment from you? No, don’t answer. I fear I’ll only get angrier if you do. Now be an obedient little potato and stay still, the first thing I’ll fix is that messy kissing of yours.”

“ :( “

Snacks runs had to be the most annoying and heart pounding of his usual daily life quests. If waking up was a struggle enough, especially when no special loot such as new anime or manga was available, it was hard to complete such basic tasks without some sort of incentive.

Although Idia guessed that not dying of starvation was enough of an incentive.

He walks down the corridor of his own dorm, humming a quiet tune to himself as he looks down at all the snacks he had acquired. Which, score! They even had a limited edition chip flavor that came with the card of one of his favourite idols! It took everything in his power to not just spend all of his money on more than one bag but he had such a good day today that he knew his gacha pull luck just had to be good.

The door to a room behind him opens, Idia quickly picking up his pace and hiding behind a corner as he looks at who it could be. He isn't against anyone in his dorm but...he didn't have the means to engage in any conversation that wasn't about his current FPS game or Gakemo so--

"Thank you for the help! I thought my phone was beyond repair!"

His hands tighten around the chips pressed tight to his chest, eyes wide in surprise as he sees you stepping out of the room.

Of all people...why were you here so late?

The student laughs as he scratches the back of his head, handing you back your phone and looking away.

“No--No problem! I...I honestly didn’t think you would come to me for help. I integrated the newest magical technology on it as well as voice activated features and a--a brand new messaging app that sends messages faster!”

Idia clicked his tongue as he heard the student speak. Look at him showing off. You didn’t know that he was taking advantage of your naive mind! You didn’t know anything about magic so, of course, all those features would sound fancy!

When it was literally taking your phone and just downloading some fancy new apps on it!

Yet there you were, marveling down at it as if you had just gotten the latest version.

Well maybe he shouldn’t complain too much, even from here he could see your smile. A part of him worried that all this luck he was suddenly getting would affect the luck he would get on his chip bag but...you were worth it.

Such a rare event shouldn’t be left unnoticed.

Maybe...maybe if he stayed here you could walk by and he could open up the ‘bumping into each other late at night’ event?

“So how can I repay you? Do you need anything done?”

Idia tunes back into the conversation as he frowns, looking back at the two of you as the student looks at every single corner of the ceiling instead of looking at you.

Payment? The guy had just downloaded a couple of apps that wasn’t good enough reason to offer some sort of payment. He frowns and taps his foot impatiently as the guy stutters out a few excuses before finally giving you an answer.

“A ki--A kiss? Would that be alright?”

The Ignihyde dorm leader almost falls down as he hears that, retreating further into his corner as he glared daggers at the guy who had just dared to ask for such a bold request.

A k--kis--kiss? A kiss...from you?

This guy was starting to piss him off! He should just be content staring at you! You were a SSR character all on your own! That guy should be happy he even got to talk to you at all and shouldn’t ask for more than he was given! He already rolled for such a life changing event why would he even want more!

His eyes soften when he sees you mull it over. It was okay, you could reject him. Such a guy wouldn’t even be worthy of a kiss from you so you so all you had to do was say no! Go on, [Y/N], just reject hi--

Idia can feel his heart breaking as his muscles stop working, dropping all of his stuff on the floor with a thud as the sound echoes. Yet it went ignored, the other two people in the hallway too busy with their own activities.

When...when had you even kissed him? Idia only remembers you putting your phone away and the moment he blinked you had already pressed your lips against that other guy--!

He should be leaving, why isn’t he moving?

The student’s hand goes to your waist as you deepen it, his face turning a deep shade of red as you pull away and tap his lips.

“Was that your first kiss?”

“...y--yes..”

You were smiling and giving him such a rare, almost ultimately rare item and Idia didn’t know how long he could stare until he combusted.

So all he could do was turn around…

And run as fast as he could.

He ignored the familiar voice calling out his name, footsteps quickly following him as he started to run out of breath.

Making a poor otaku like him run, even now you were still being so cruel to him!

Idia’s door slides open as he bursts inside, ready to bury himself in his bed and never come out again--!

Only to stop when he hears you hiss in pain.

Blue eyes turn around to see your foot jammed into his doorway, not allowing the electric door to slide closed. A part of him wants to immediately go to you and ask if you were alright but he stops himself as the image of your kiss flashes through his mind again.

“[Y/N]-shi! W--What--!”

You rub at your foot and sigh, walking in with a confused look as Idia presses his back against his bookshelf. He knew it. If a SSR character could be brought to real life, this is the sort of power they would have over him.

The kind of aura you were emitting was enough for him to want to get on his knees, but he chose to remain strong.

“I was calling out to you…didn’t you hear me?”

Idia turns his head and looks at the floor, the pain still raw and emotionally taxing than what he was used to. Disappointment was one thing but heartbreak was a complete other monster!

“Shouldn’t--Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend?”

He spits the word out, annoyed that a guy from his dorm could unlock...no...could get someone like you. You were open to every single activity Idia gave you, you gave him good feedback and didn’t get scared when you two disagreed on something. Every manga he gave you, you read and every anime he told you to watch, you would watch it.

You were receptive, you were attentive, you were what Idia wanted in a real life friend!

He hadn’t dared hope for more!

That still didn’t mean he couldn’t fantasize when he was all by himself.

“Boyfriend…?”

You tilt your head in confusion before chuckling as you realized what had happened.

“Oh so you saw that.”

Is that all you were going to say?! You had just taken his heart and crushed it into tiny little pieces and you were just going to talk about what a pervert he was being!

Someone just KO him now, like right now!

“Yes...I saw. So what? You were just ki-kissi--doing that thing from everyone to see! So you should just go back to him instead of bullying me in my own room!”

Please just leave, he wanted to cry in peace.

Yet you stubbornly remain, just like the first time he met you.

“Idia I don’t know what crazy assumptions you are making but that guy isn’t my boyfriend.”

You put up one finger.

“He fixed my phone…”

Another one follows after.

“And he asked for a kiss for payment. Simple as that. You shouldn’t act like you caught us doing something major. It was just a kis---”

Large hands land on your shoulders as Idia now stands in front of you, head hung low as he mutters something to himself.

“Just a kiss….just a kiss.”

You jump as he gets close to your face, eyes staring at you pleadingly as he cupped your face.

“JUST A KISS? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? AN EXTRA RARE CHARACTER SUCH AS YOURSELF SHOULDN’T BE GIVING OUT SUCH RARE ITEMS LIKE THAT!”

He shakes you back and forth.

“IF YOUR KISS WAS JUST NORMAL THEN EVEN I...I COULD--”

Idia’s eyes fall on your lips, the rush of adrenaline mixed in with his built up desire for you all culminating in two choices popping up in his head. And for the first time, he knew that hesitation was not an option.

So he dives in.

His lips met yours roughly, not really moving them or anything but just pressing them against you. You put your hands gently on his chest but he takes it as a protest, which only causes him to push them onto yours even more.

This was...disastrous.

He had never kissed anyone before. How in the world did he think that he would be able to kiss you? Ah, maybe this was a dream? Right! He had just dreamed all of this up and you didn’t really force your way into his room to confront him!

His hair flares up when you cup his face, pushing him away slightly and tilting him in such a way that your lips would meet in a much softer fashion. He looks down and sees you closing your eyes, following in your footsteps and melting inside your kiss.

You both pull away slowly, Idia opening his eyes and blushing when he sees you licking your lips and sending him a teasing grin.

A rare sight...made only for him.

“I feel like I just spent all my stamina on this one event...so I don’t want to go unrewarded. Can we go further? I want to go further. What option do I have to pick for you to do that again, [Y/N]?”

“Don’t touch them.”

“YOUNG MASTER! WHERE ARE YOU!”

Malleus sighs as he looks on at the Diasmonia students gathered around the outskirts of the school, smiling as he sees Sebek directing them each and every way. Sebek really didn’t give up, did he? One of his classes had been canceled and he was eager to see the gargoyles around Ramshackle in a much better light but he figured Sebek would cause up a stir when he didn’t find him in his classroom.

As much as he appreciated him, Sebek didn’t have to walk him to every single class.

He sighs and goes deeper into the woods behind Ramshackle, the small broken path there leading him down a familiar terrain.

This is where he usually walked with you, after all.

Seeing this place in bright light was so very different. Instead of it being illuminated by his lights, the sun peeked out from over the trees and provided a sunny trail instead of the usual moonlight. He took a deep breath as he breathed in the smell of flowers all around, all of them growing wildly around him and defying any human to try and tame them.

His fingers trace some of the thorns he found on some of them, the flowers attracted to his touch and moving closer to his hands as a small vine wrapped around his finger.

All with his magic’s help after all.

This was his safe space. Malleus would come here during his first and second year and lose himself in the wilderness. In here no one would fear him. Here every single thing was responsive to his touches and even dared to touch back. Some of the wild rose bushes also reminded him of him, Malleus adding a bit more thorns around the flowers as in to emulate the very home he missed.

In this lonely place, he flourished.

But it wasn’t so lonely now, was it?

His third year had brought one big surprise. A human. A child of man who did not know who he was or what he was capable of. They looked at him as if he was just any other stranger roaming around their dorm and not the next ruler of the Valley of Thorns.

And Malleus, being the very curious person he is, found himself pulled to your inattentiveness.

He had dropped many hints that he was eager to get to know you more, relishing in the fact that you two were starting to get closer. And while he had hoped to keep his identity a secret a bit longer, he found it almost unbearable for you to not know who he was.

If you were so open with who you were, then he should show you the same kind of respect.

How wonderful that you were now on a first name basis with each other.

Malleus could walk over to Ramshackle dorm now and knock on your door without hesitation, smiling as he sees your excitement at just what places you two would discover in the dead of night.

Bummer you couldn’t be with him now.

He had seen you come out of your dorm and ask Sebek if he needed any help, to which the fae replied rather rudely that no human could ever track down his young master, so he was a bit reluctant to discover any more places without you by his side.

These walks were something you two did together, after all.

So he remained at this spot, touching everything and anything that would strike his fancy while going deeper and deeper into a small clearing you two had found. A large tree decorated its middle, the leaves falling gently upon the ground as the sun shone down on the large pond that provided this part of the forest with the water it needed to balance out the sun’s gentle rays.

“Shhhh, don’t make too much noise.”

Malleus stops as he hears your voice, his head immediately turning towards the sound as he hears rustling behind him. He smiles and turns to where he thought you were coming from only to be struck by a sudden idea--and immediately hiding among the trees and bushes so you couldn’t see him.

Would you be surprised to find him here?

He hoped so. Malleus had the habit of appearing to you suddenly so this wouldn’t be breaking any traditions between you two. If he played his cards right, you might join him on a walk all the way to the edge of the island.

“Prefect do you know where you are going?”

“I do! I’ve been here so many times. Now come on!”

Another person’s voice. No...he had heard that voice before.

Malleus retreats back into his hiding spot as he sees you rush by, holding by the hand a Diasmonia student as he rushes to follow you. You smile and turn around, still holding his hand while the other looked on in amazement at where you had led him.

“Prefect...this is…”

“Like it? Me and Malleus found it a while ago. This is how we know we are close to the edge of the forest.”

The Diasmonia dorm leader smiles as he watches you show the student around, pointing out different sights and sounds as the other watched on in amazement. That student probably had never gone anywhere this secret and while Malleus was glad you were showing off the place you two shared…

There was a feeling deep inside his chest that flared up angrily as he caught the student looking at you more than his surroundings.

Green eyes watch as the student’s hand clenches and unclenches, seemingly working up the courage to do something as you continue speaking. Which was rather rude, in Malleus’s opinion. You were explaining some wonderful things about the flora here and he was just staring at you without engaging in the conversation.

And how did you two know each other? Malleus had never mentioned you in Diasmonia except to Silver and Lilia, had he known you before him?

Malleus hands grip the tree bark tighter as the student takes your hand, stopping your explanation as he gets you to focus your attention on him.

What--?

“I’ve been eager to find some time alone with you.”

The student clears his throat before pulling you by the hand gently, your surprised look turning into one of playfulness as you follow along with his movements. He leads you to the edge of the pond, spinning you around as you allow him to position you in such a way that you are now closer to him than before.

Which only makes the angry feeling in Malleus’s gut flare up even more.

“Have you now? What for?”

An answer Malleus wanted to know as well.

Blushing, the student smiles and leads you into a dance with no music which only served to make you laugh and make Malleus’s fingers dig deep into the wood of the poor tree.

In the dragon fae’s eyes, you two are dancing for hours without caring about who was around. Why had he even brought you here? This student was part of Sebek’s surveillance crew and yet here he was not doing his job. But he wasn’t the one who brought you here…

You were.

Your actions were lost on Malleus as the dance finishes up, the student dipping you low before bringing you up.

“So you brought me here to dance? Who knew Diasmonia students were so charming.”

Malleus didn’t like the way you were smiling, nor how your hands rested on the student’s shoulders. He hadn’t seen this side of you before, you were playing along with this student and his motives.

Had you always been so playful? Malleus had only seen you during the night and whenever you two spoke it was a conversation worthy of two friends sharing experiences together.

But not this...never this…

“Well, not just a dance. I’ve wanted to state my intentions outright.”

The tree starts to crack slowly as Malleus can feel more thorns growing out of the rose bushes around him.

“Ever since you arrived, you have been an enigma to me. You are always so helpful even to those who do not seek your aid. Even now, you didn’t have to help me search for our Young Master."

He wasn’t searching for anyone, he was too close to you for Malleus’s liking and he needed to learn how to respect your boundaries.

“Yet you still offered me your help...and I…I want to...”

The student was leaning closer as his hands slid down to your waist, Malleus staring as you started to tilt your head as you placed your hands on his chest while his lips were dead set on meeting yours--!

Your face is tilted up as cold lips meet yours, your mouth opening in a surprised gasp as the hold the student had on you was no longer shy and timid but angry and possessive. These lips were pulling you in closer and closer, greedily eating each and every sound you were making as the air was slowly stolen from your lungs.

A string of saliva is left hanging as you two separate, your eyes fluttering open as you think of something to say to such a ravishing kiss.

Only for them to open wide in surprise as you see who you had really kissed.

“Malleus!?”

You turn to look behind the fae’s back, the Diasmonia student looking at his Young Master in mild panic and surprise while Malleus presses you close against his chest, clearly hiding you from view.

Right before the student even had a chance to taste your lips, Malleus had rushed out of his hiding place and pulled him away by the collar of his shirt.

For a dragon to watch on as something that was his was so close to be taken away, the surprise must have gotten to him.

“Go tell Sebek to head back to Diasmonia and call off his search. I will be there by nightfall.”

The student tries to stutter out a response but Malleus glares back as he keeps you pressed firmly against him.

“Now.”

You watch the student leave in a hurry, following the broken path you had led him in with. Your eyes peek up to look at Malleus but the dorm leader waits until the sound of footsteps is long gone before tilting your face up again and leaning down to press his lips against yours in another rough and dominating kiss.

Hands push you forward as your back collides with the huge tree in the clearing, Malleus making sure that the back of your head meets the bark gently as his lips never parted from yours. You wrap your arms around him as best as you could and let out an involuntary squeak when the fae decides to pick you up so that you could pull him in even closer.

He is the one to pull away first, hands firmly on your bottom as you wrap your legs around his waist to support yourself.

“Malleus--”

The fae presses another kiss to your lips, effectively silencing you so that all your attention would be on him.

“Don’t ever bring someone else into this place, child of man. Do I make myself clear? This place is our haven and I will not have someone else come steal both it and you away from me. Well, even if you don’t understand, I’ll make sure to explain it to you thoroughly. Now...kiss me again.”