#but. she didnt feel guilty. not really. she was confident in all of her actions and never once hesistated

[slocumjoe]

hey uhhh i went thru ur oc post history and u said gus set himself on fire?? pls context

I love this character because whenever someone asks about him I always have to take a deep breath and get comfortable and suck a breath in through my teeth. I treat him so poorly

More Gus lore, because that specific event is actually tied to the very first event that would fuck him up forever, so I can't really talk about it without going in depth.

This is explaining the core tenent of Augustijn's story, which is guilt and its dangers. Basically, where that constant guilt came from, and how it...turned out for him...

It turns out okay. Just...takes 200+ years, an apocalypse, a divorce, and his son dying! 🥳Yay🥳

Tw; Religious trauma, child abuse, suicide, drug use, cannibalism, mental illnesses, and yet another suicide attempt.

So, some background, Gus's mom, Emma, was a fanatic catholic and generally Bat Shit about religion. As you might imagine, this is the Direct Source of both Gus' questionable worldviews, traumas, and his biological inclination to uuuhhh bad Head Times.

Emma was raised mildly religious, but she...took to it too hard? Her family was not the cause of her obsession, Gus's grandparents and uncles/aunts over there actually cut her off at one point, because she was starting to worry them but reaching out led to her lashing out. So, they just...backed off. Emma herself was a simple, homebody woman, who wanted to be at home raising her kids, and tending her garden. She would have been this way even without the religious thing.

But Emma and her side of the family were prone to addiction, see? And religion became her point of fixation and obsession. This could have still been okay, if not for the church she went into. A catholic church in the Hague that was known by all for being kind of fucking out there, even by other hardcore Catholics. This was one she went into, and even her grandchild 240+ years later would feel the ripple of this decision.

Emma goes into church and gets gnarly ideas about how life works. Its a woman's duty to have kids and raise them, to be good to her husband and her house, to listen and obey her men. Sin is inevitable and everyone does it, only those that admit and accept punishment can get another chance at Paradise. God knows every action you take and he does not care for the context, he only cares about the action. There is no "well, but" under the Lord.

Emma has mental illness, some kind of depression and anxiety, so this Big Brother Watching And Judging fucked her up. Especially since her church, in particular, was physically abusive if you did not confess to anything during confession. They thought if you had nothing to confess, you were lying.

At this point, she's met and engaged to Theodore Reinier, a rich heir to a European manufacturing company. He's pretty, a gentleman, and best of all, rich, so she can have as big and luxurious a garden as she wants. She likes him. She does not love him. She's in her twenties and unmarried with no kids, and her poor family needs to be taken care of. So she marries him. Theodore is smart enough to see this for what it is, and kind enough to allow it. He lets his wife do her own thing and treats her as a friend, rather than a lover. She hates this, she wants to be a wife (she doesnt). She wants kids, he gives her one. Augustijn. This birth goes rough, and she's told no more children.

Theodore makes one rule; August goes to a different church, or he does not go at all. Theo really didn't like Emma's church and he certainly wasn't exposing his kid to that shit.

Emma pretends to agree and takes Gus to That Church. Theo doesn't attend, so he doesn't know this is happening until much later. Gus gets all the same nasty shit Emma does. Theo learns of this when he sees Gus covered in bruises from confession beatings. This puts a huge rift between him and Emma, and he pulls all the strings he can to have her church shut down.

Emma grows to resent and hate Theo and Augustijn for not being the perfect husband and child she deserves as a good, God fearing house wife. Augustijn is left to his nannies, Emma hides away in her private garden, fuming. Theodore tries to bond with his son, but Emma's poisoned that well.

Emma tells Augustijn about demons, to fear them. She specifically tells him about church grims, demons that hunt around churches in the form of a dog to drag sinners to hell. She says this as she's admiring her new obsidian dog statues for her garden.

Eventually, Emma goes yellow wallpaper and loses her mind, and is sent to therapy and put on medications. Augustijn loathes his father for his mother's state. Theodore just wants his friend and son okay. But Emma, as she's out in town, coming back from therapy, she stops at a friend's house while the friend isn't there, and hooks up with the woman's husband. Friend's husband was stern, strict with his wife, God fearing, and generally an obnoxious 50s ideal shithead husband. Everything Emma wanted. This wasn't out of nowhere, it was brewing in the background. She knew both of them from her old church.

Emma goes home, and finally having a reason for the guilt that's always plagued her, elects to acknowledge her sin. She drowns herself in the pond of her garden, stared down by three dark, ruby-eyed dogs, overseeing her passage into the afterlife. Her young son comes into the garden to meet his mother, after she's been gone all day, only to find her in a red pool. He looks up into the eyes of the dogs. He remembers nothing of this incident, blocking it out and having been too young to understand.

Years pass, and Augustijn turns to drugs as well, though his come from the darkest parts of the Hague, rather than a doctor. He turns to sex, to crime, to anything he thinks will either corrupt him so much he doesn't care, or will finally make his guilt feel justified. He wears his mother's cross necklace through it all, and sees her beloved dog with every sin.

Augustijn goes to America for college, to Harvard, studying to become a pastor himself. (This is maybe the most terrifying part of him, the fact that he almost got it). But he doesn't feel satisfied with it, has a moment of clarity and realizes he isn't fit to preach anything. The grim certainly doesn't think so. He instead follows his only friend, Isadora, into the military. The US government allowing their soldiers to do chems means his failed drug tests don't matter.

Augustijn becomes a sniper. He has always hurt people, excelled in it, but taking life frightens him, because he knows he has no right to decide who lives or dies, not like this. But he's in China, and he's told to kill. He does, and he's very good at it. His teammates marvel at just how scrappy and determined he is, like a weed, a mold.

The Biandukou Pass Incident occurs. He eats his entire team, trapped in a Chinese mountain range during a blizzard.

Delirious from almost two months of surviving on nothing but psycho and human flesh, Augustijn is let loose back into Boston, honorably discharged. His lingering hallucinations from his Daytripper addiction, mixed with psycho withdrawal, trauma, guilt, shame, the fear of God—everything culminates. He looks up and sees the figure that has haunted him since that one, awful day; the church grim, staring expectantly.

His mother drowned herself, so he thought it fitting if he set himself ablaze.

[bcdwhcre]

Hi! Can you possibly do a Mikasa x fem reader where they've been dating and during the Uprising arc in the crystal cave the reader gets hurt Mikasa just gets pissed 😂 Then after the battle some sweet comfort and fluff? Also the others were shocked by Mikasa's behavior cause they didn't know she was dating anyone

“Rage,” Mikasa x FemReader

Summary: where you ended up getting hurt during the mission to rescue Eren and your secret girlfriend Mikasa shows real emotion about the situation.

Warnings: none! season 3 Mikasa

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The team surrounded Levi as they hovered over the secret door that led down to the cave where they assumed Eren and Historia were in. He had went over the plan again, looking down at the barrels the team had put together to throw down there.

“Stay sharp, one mistake can get you killed.” Levi warned before opening up the trap door and everyone threw the barrels in.

Once Sasha had shot the barrels with some flame arrows, the smoke surrounded the lower area of the cave. Then it was the rest of the teams turn to fly in using their gear.

You were nervous, you’ve been nervous since before you even stepped into this but Mikasa, before this mission started, had tried to reassure you endlessly about how she would look after you and protect you if needed but she knew how much of a strong person you were and how you could easily get this done, she had full confidence in you.

The relationship between you and Mikasa was definitely more than just friends. When you first met her when the both of you joined the boot camp at the same time, you two became close from how much you had in common. You both ended up being orphans and taken in by someone else, you both shared a lot and it eventually turned into a secret affair that no one really knew about.

It was then on that Mikasa had gotten very over protective with you and even then, the scouts never thought about it for too long, they thought of it as just Mikasa being over protective with her friends like Eren and Armin.

Your thoughts had moved back onto the mission, it started off great and in the teams favor until the enemies had caught on to what they were doing and how they were doing it and you ended up getting caught above the smoke after slicing someone’s throat open.

The enemy was quick to lunge at you, their blade aiming towards you and surprisingly you dodged just enough that it didn’t strike the area he was aiming for but it did slice your side quite severely.

You had fallen down under the smoke, the ground knocking you out cold and Mikasa had noticed right away.

“Y/N!” She shouted below to you when she noticed your body falling to the ground.

Her anger boiled inside of her and she was quick to spin around towards the guy who had done the damage to you and instantly killed him without hesitation.

After that, the enemy team had backed away and retreated, giving Mikasa time to drop to the ground and go to where you laid. Your eyes had opened up, the pain you felt shooting through your side was like it was on fire.

She quickly took off her jacket and pushed the material down on your wound to put pressure on the bleeding, her eyes connecting with yours and you gave a weak smile, just to somewhat reassure her that you were okay.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve been through worse.” You joked, making Mikasa crack a smile down to you.

“Shut up, this cut is pretty bad, Y/N.” She admitted, pain written all over her face as she took a look down at the cut on your side.

“I’ll be fine, Mikasa. I’m not leaving you that easily.”

All the scouts had surrounded you, their eyes trained on Mikasa as she was actually showing real emotion which they never seen off of her except rage. Levi had leaned down to lift the jacket and look at the slice on your side, cursing under his breath.

“You two, take her out of here quickly, the rest will go through with the mission.” He ordered and Armin quickly reached down to help you up off your feet which only worsened the pain.

“Take care of her, please. Don’t let her die.” Mikasa stared at Armin and he nodded his head as he and another cadet helped carry you towards an exit.

“Since when are you so caring for someone?” Jean looked down at Mikasa and she gave him a plain look as he teased her.

“My relationship with her is none of your concern, Jean.”

“Your relationship? So I’m assuming more than friends then?” He chuckled, stopping once he seen the deadly look on her face.

“Now isn’t the time to chat about secret affairs, we need to get Eren and Historia out of here.” Levi looked back at the cadets then around the area to try to come up with some plan until the cave started to give in, everything shaking and crumbling around them.

After the collected Eren and Historia, they finally made it out after the large titan had moved towards the wall. Mikasa didnt hesitate to come to where you were, laying in the carriage as the horses rode back to the wall where the titan was heading.

Everything was a blur to you until you were in a bed stitched and wrapped up perfectly fine. Mikasa was sitting beside the bed with her head on the mattress as she slept, little did you know the mission was already done and the titan that came was long dead.

Your fingers had gently traced through her hair, sighing under your breath feeling guilty for being reckless to let yourself get sliced up even if your attention was away for a second.

Mikasa was quick to wake up when she felt your hand, her eyes instantly moving up to yours and you gave her a smile before brushing her hair back. She leaned over without a word, the sudden impact of her lips on yours had completely caught you off guard but you weren’t complaining.

“You’ve been asleep forever.” She huffed out when she pulled back from your mouth and you leaned forward to wrap your arms around her in a tight hug, ignoring the pain in your side.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled into her shoulder and she kept her grip on you, being careful to not hurt you in anyway as she ran her hand up and down your back, comforting you.

“Don’t be, it wasn’t your fault.” Mikasa had kissed the top of your head, it was nice to see her so comforting and loving but it was also shocking to see it as well.

It took a lot for her to be touchy like this, she was never one to show a lot of emotions but she did sometimes through her actions but you were the opposite, you always gave her affection.

that’s what made Mikasa fall for you more, the affection she was receiving from you was definitely something she didn’t think she would need until she met you.

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I tried to make this as lovey as possible, hope it turned out okaaaay.

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[sergeanttpoliteness]

Spiderverse Gwen x Reader where The reader is out as les/bi/pan whatever and Gwen is scared to tell her she likes her?

 AND➝  Gwen is ready to start letting people back into her life after the events of Spiderverse. MJ, aware of Gwen trying to open her social circle, tells her about a nice girl from her apartment building and brings the reader along at their next band practice to introduce her. Gwen sets eyes on her and is VEEEERY attracted to this VEEEERY pretty girl.  In Gwen’s bisexual distress, she starts rambling nervously, and probably says something embarrassing about herself. MJ saves them from an awkward situation and starts band practice, Gwen doesn’t see reader outside of school again after that, but Gwen shamelessly stares at her during class. Gwen starts to overthink the situation and gets worried she blew her chance. Later, there’s a situation that she as Spider-Gwen saves reader from. Reader is minorly hurt but SG has to go before she can help reader as authorities arrive. Feeling guilty, her spider sense leads SG to the reader’s apartment, she goes to check on her that night. Confident with her mask on, she strikes up a conversation, compliments her and even drops a bit of a flirty remark about reader before taking her leave. I didnt know where to go from there I’m new to requesting so I hope this isn’t too long but I hope that’ll be enough to get the ball rolling? -🍀

deeply sorry it took me so long to get to these again! i changed a few things, but it’s pretty much still the same idea. i hope the nonnie who requested this finds it and doesn’t think i ignored them :( ily, y’all deserve better.

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➹she plays bass➹(spider-gwen x fem!reader)

That feeling when there’s a cute girl who plays bass in your band and you don’t know what the hell to do about it.

Gwen needs help figuring out her feelings. Like, immediately.

word count: 11.6k (oops i did it again)

a/n: i’m sorry this new fic is the size of the bible like the last one, i’ll try to make the next one shorter lmaooo. but it’s what my fave girl deserves due to the unacceptable lack of stories about her on this site. plus, i swear that once you read it it’s so much shorter than it seems. i’m hoping i can post at least one more story before the end of the year, but if i don’t, happy holidays and new year ! y’all were the best part about my 2019 :) hope whoever is reading this has a lovely week. mwah.

warnings: violence, guns, swearing.

——-

She played bass. 

You played bass, to be more specific. And Mary Jane Watson took satisfaction in believing that she was nice. More than simply ‘just nice’ on good days, even. Being the most courteous person was a duty she considered to be hers ever since she was six-years-old and accompanied that girl who always seemed to be left behind in the playground, and years later, in high school when she punched a creep hassling one of her bandmates. Last but most certainly not least, Betty Brant, bass guitar player of the Mary Janes, slipped and fell backwards one unfortunate evening, and she shot out her left arm behind her to break the fall and save her ice cream from hitting the ground. Good news: her ice cream did not hit the ground. Bad news, however, her left hand did— in an odd, twisted position. Needless to say, Betty Brant now had a broken wrist.

At first glance, they’re all unrelated events, stars belonging to separate constellations, and they would have remained so— undisturbed, simply coexisting in the same sky. That was, until Gwen came into the picture and drew a line connecting the bright flecks when she opened her mouth.

In the moment that she admitted to MJ that the idea of meeting new people sounded more appealing each day, she scribbled down the equation in her bandmate’s brain and hit ‘solve’. The redhead’s face lit up, putting to shame a Christmas tree as that sense of responsibility called for her attention. Immediately, she felt obligated to make the Nobel Peace prize-worthy move of texting her neighbor she just met, who also played the bass, to join them on the coming Saturday for band practice. That night, as she prepared to go to sleep, Em Jay cracked an accomplished smile at the reflection in her mirror.

However, two weeks had passed since your first practice with the Mary Janes, and MJ’s pride dove off from where it sat on her shoulder as she observed from afar with furrowed brows how Gwen so fucking blatantly ignored you after you tried to give her a high five. 

“What the hell was that?!” She hissed at Glory who stood beside her, cringing as you awkwardly dropped your hand and turned away from Gwen. Sighing, MJ rubbed her face with sheer desperation— a rather drastically different action from her naïve smile many nights ago. “I put an opportunity right on her fucking lap to make a friend, and she can’t act like a nice normal human being!”

Glory bit the inside of her cheek, sporting her own grimace. “I dunno, maybe they’ll click soon—”

“It’s been two weeks, Glory!” MJ whined. She crossed her arms across her chest, eyes narrowing into concentrated slits, and her gaze returned to an oblivious Gwen who shot at your back what she thought in her mind was a discreet glance. “I can’t let this fail. I gotta step in.” Glory raised a brow.

“Or you could just, you know, let them get to know each other at their own pace?“ 

“That’s dumb.”

Glory opened her mouth but gave up immediately, seeing MJ’s persistence as a lost cause she, in all honesty, did not want to waste any energy battling against that day. “Follow my lead,” MJ elbowed her, winking before she caught Gwen’s and your attention. “Who wants pizza? I do, and so does Glory. You guys want to go out and eat?“ 

“I don’t really feel like going out.”

“Glory, what the fuck?” MJ said under her breath, but later shook her head, a smile stretching across her face. “It’s fine! We’ll just go get it and we can eat here." 

Glory frowned. "But—”

“I mean, sure. I’m definitely in the mood for pizza.” You shrugged, the corner of your mouth lifting upwards. Gwen, however, eyed Glory with suspicion, who in return flashed her an apologetic smile. MJ clapped her hands together, cheering.

“Great!” She grabbed Glory’s hand and dragged her out of the room, glancing back at the two other girls. “We’ll be back in fifteen!”

Not even five seconds passed after they closed the door before you jumped off the couch and muttered to Gwen that you were going to the bathroom, an action that Gwen chose not to spend any time analyzing for her own sanity; but even if she had decided to, the ringing of her phone would’ve interrupted her nonetheless. After she took out her phone and saw MJ’s contact name, she let out the longest sigh in her entire seventeen years of living.

“Couldn’t you have just called for the pizza?” She went straight to the point— no greeting or anything, which left MJ stumped for three seconds, and surprised she had caught onto what was going on in record time.

“No, otherwise my plan wouldn’t have worked. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“What plan and why am I welcome?”

MJ scoffed. “I’m giving you another chance to talk to Y/N, seeing as you completely blew every other one you had.” Gwen perked one eyebrow, confused.

“How come?”

“She tried to give you a high-five and you left her hanging, Gwendolyn.” She said with an obvious tone. “And that’s just one example of many.”

Gwen sat straight, her eyes growing wide. “Wait, I did?”

“Yes, you fucking idiot!” Gwen shut her eyes closed, covering her face with her hand. “How did you not notice, it’s so painfully obvious she’s trying to be your friend but you’ve gained the award of dickhead of the day.”

Gwen rolled her eyes, although let out an amused huff of air through her nose. “Did Glory agree to this little plan of yours?”

MJ took a moment of silence. “No, but her opinion doesn’t really matter right now.”

“Yeah, I bet she didn’t, because it’s fucking stupid, Mary Jane.”

“Em Jay.” 

“You called me Gwendolyn.”

“Whatever,” MJ grumbled, “you asked for this, Gwen. Be thankful, ‘cause I’m really tryin’ here.”

Gwen heard you flush the toilet, and not too long after, the sound of the faucet running. “Hell, okay, fine.” She whispered into the phone. “She’s coming, I have to go.” Before MJ could utter a word, she ended the call right as you walked out of the bathroom and flashed her a tight-lipped smile. You sat back down on the couch, an obvious distance between you two. More time passed while you hunched over your cellphone and Gwen eyed you sideways, gripping her hands together in between her knees, her heart speeding up each time she dared to speak up, and her face heating up albeit she hadn’t directed a word at you yet.

She cleared her throat. “So!” 

You made eye contact with her and she felt obligated to flash you a nervous smile after the silence continued. Eventually, the corner of your mouth lifted upwards. “So what?” You questioned, curious. Gwen’s smile gradually fell. She should’ve contemplated what she was going to say first before she spoke. 

“…What’s your favorite pizza topping?” Gwen hit herself mentally. There literally was no excuse for why she was acting like this— hell, she herself couldn’t even find one. But, on the bright side (however, perhaps not so much for Gwen), whilst the girl was sure this was an agonizing and slow death from embarrassment, your amused grin widened with her visible anxiety.

“I don’t know. There’s a lot of options.” You shrugged, your attention moving back to your device. Gwen considered leaving you alone, seeing as this conversation very obviously wasn’t going anywhere, but that option disintegrated as soon as she imagined Em Jay intentionally delaying her arrival with Glory and the pizza so she could take full advantage of her ‘chance’, which she was ninety-nine percent sure was the case. 

“I really like pepperoni.” She blurted out. Your eyes momentarily traveled up to Gwen and you pursed your lips, nodding slowly.

“Cool.”

My God, you really were not collaborating even an ounce— it was a reach, but it was as if you were voluntarily trying to make this as difficult and socially traumatizing for Gwen as possible. Gwen scratched her head, searching for more conversation ideas, but her brain remained as empty as a desert in the middle of nowhere, except for the one tumbleweed happily rolling along its way which was her last idea, and the main purpose of this sad conversation.

“I’m really sorry for that high-five you tried to give me earlier,” Gwen muttered, incapable of looking at you straight in the eye for long. “Em Jay just told me about it.” 

Finally, you tore your concentration away from your phone and focused on Gwen. You didn’t know whether it was the seriousness of her voice combined with the absurdity of the sentence, but you found yourself struggling to hold back your giggles. Gwen’s eyebrows twisted with puzzlement as she saw your blushing cheeks and you biting your lip hard, your shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

“That’s… adorable. It’s alright. It happens to all of us, I guess.” You laughed out. In Gwen’s never-ending humiliation, she couldn’t discern your expression from simple amusement or judgment. 

Gwen stuttered, brushing her hair behind her ear. “Okay, cool. I-I just didn’t want you to think that I hated you or something like that.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I did not.” 

“Good. Because I don’t. Obviously.” She continued, forcing out a chuckle. “I really don’t.”

You smiled hesitantly. “Again… don’t worry, I get it—”

“I just, I wasn’t paying attention to you.” Gwen clarified but closed her mouth immediately, regret drying her throat. You pressed your lips into a straight line. “But I don’t mean that in a rude way, hah. I’m always looking at you.” She dug herself deeper and her eyes grew wide, a tense cough fleeing past her lips after you raised your brows.

“I mean, no, I’m not always looking at you, like, staring, but like, looking forward to whatever you have to say…?” She talked slowly, questioning her own words. “Why would I look at you, anyway?” Ah, fuck, that’s not what she meant.

Your expression transformed into an offended look and she rushed to correct herself. “No! I mean— you’re, like, very, very pretty, don’t get me wrong.” She let out a frustrated sigh, “Again, I don’t mean that in a weird way, I just—”

“Okay! I get it.” You stopped her and stood up, pointing at your phone. “I have to go, it’s pretty late, so I won’t be able to eat with you guys, but, uh… thanks anyway. Maybe next time.” You explained, uncomfortable. You both dubiously gestured goodbye to each other before you nearly ran out of the door. 

From then on, Gwen kind of wanted to hide in her room for the rest of her life, or at least from you; but sadly, she couldn’t do either. She could’ve moved on and just let it be a memory she could laugh about in the future, but she couldn’t hide what had happened to MJ— she retold her and Glory the encounter, and the trauma returned as Glory burst out laughing right in her face and Em Jay simply stared at her like a disappointed mother. Again, she really was determined to forget the whole ordeal, but later in the evening, when all she wanted to do was plop down on her bed and call it a night after another day of patrol, she answered her landline only for her ears to be attacked with MJ’s pleas for her to go fix things since ‘she was so embarrassed for her she literally couldn’t go to sleep’. Gwen hung up on her.

As she originally had intended before MJ disrupted her night, Gwen jumped onto her bed and rolled onto her back, promising in her head that she’d take off her suit in a minute. She stared up at the ceiling for longer than a minute, thinking about MJ’s words. What was the point in going to apologize to you again, anyway? Gwen wasn’t going to do it simply to please her. MJ could gladly go and shove her microphone up her—

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Gwen said to herself as she stood outside your school building. She looked down at her watch. She could’ve been doing so much right then. Someone was probably getting murdered, or a robbery was going on, and she had homework to finish, but she was wasting her time waiting in front of a school like the creep of the block. However, she thought she might as well stick to it in the instant that students began to swarm out of the entrance doors.

She considered leaving. It was her first thought when she ultimately saw you walking amongst the crowd, talking to your friends. You hadn’t noticed her. It wouldn’t make a difference if she spun and ran out of there, like a scared child fleeing from the monster living in her closet. You turned your gaze away from your friend whilst laughing, and similar to the demon (no offense) peeking through the slit in between the closet doors, you found yourself staring into a familiar pair of blue eyes.

There was no going back.

Gwen breathed in profoundly and flashed you a sheepish smile, waving weakly with her shoulders raised. She watched you say goodbye to your friends before you hesitantly approached her, your eyebrow lifted in a questioning manner. “Gwen?” 

“Yup. That’s me, hah…” She moved her hair away from her face after the wind disheveled it, brushing it behind her ear as she avoided your eyes. “I know you’re wondering—”

“What you’re doing here? Yes, yes I am.” You said, the humor distinctive in your voice, but Gwen scrunched up her nose, shaking her head.

“Don’t worry, I’m not… stalking you,” She laughed nervously and stopped herself before history repeated itself. “I would’ve texted you, but my phone…” Now has a bullet hole. “Broke. Em Jay told me I could meet you here.”

You folded your arms across your chest, shifting your weight to one leg. “Well, I’m here, you’re here, so what’s up? Did you want to continue talking about how you don’t pay attention to me?” You joked, tilting your head. 

Gwen winced slightly, cringing. “Actually, no.”

“Okay, good.”

“I came here to apologize. A real apology this time.”

You let your arms drop by your sides, interested and waiting for what she had to say. “I was really awkward. Painfully awkward, and I made you uncomfortable. So, I was hoping that we could maybe… start over again?” She held out her hand.

You briefly glanced down at it before glancing back up at her biting her lip anxiously. You giggled, nodding. “You’re so dramatic, dude.”

You shook her hand.

“So… we’re good?”

You smiled. “We’re good.” Gwen grinned back, her tooth gap having a peculiar effect in your stomach. She peeked at her watch a second time with the intent of leaving; but before she could say goodbye, you adjusted your backpack straps and spoke up. “Actually… now that you’re here, how about we go get something to eat?” 

Gwen blinked, her finger coming up to point at her chest. “M-me? And you?” You agreed with your head, laughing.

“Obviously, you dummy. I don’t see anyone else here.” You playfully punched her arm and she looked down at the spot, her eyes narrowed.

Ah, well. There was no going back.

If there was one thing, one enemy that constantly played with Gwen’s sanity, time was a top-three candidate which popped into her head immediately. Popped wasn’t perhaps even the correct word, for it remained there everlastingly as a nagging fear— a deafening, continuous tick-tock reminding her of how little, or what a painstaking amount of time she had in her hands, and all the things she could or could not do during it. Being Spider-Woman, pages and pages of school work, the Mary Janes, Mary Jane and Gwen’s duty to answer her messages the moment she received them, her aspirations, her dad— it messed with her brain, tangled all the connections into an indestructible knot she could purely helplessly stare at. But when she read the time and realized how late it had become, the panic merely bubbled and spread in her chest. Rather you laughed and she felt the necessity to look away from the numbers to focus on you, despite the tick-tock still present and blaring like a tsunami alert in her ears.

You sat facing her in the restaurant booth, smirking as you bit into a french fry. “You know, I gotta say, you impressed me quite a lot with your drumming.” Gwen bashfully moved a piece of lettuce around her plate, propping her chin upon the palm of her hand.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She shrugged, smiling at you. You maintained your gaze on her for a moment until you shook yourself out of your odd trance, lowering your head.

“Thanks for hanging out with me. I was tired of hanging out with myself, you know?”

Gwen furrowed her brows, adamant on fixing her look on the most boring stray lettuce ever. “Why? You’re a fun person.”

“Really? ‘Cause it doesn’t seem like that’s what you think about me.” You teased her, masking the undeniable bit of hurt. 

Gwen’s finger’s movements came to a halt and she placed her hands on the table, leaning towards you. “What?! What do you mean?”

“Alright, then what do you really think about me?” You put your elbows on the hard surface and mimicked Gwen, a crooked smile adorning your features. Gwen bit her lip in thought, raising one shoulder.

“You’re cool.” She said simply, trying to appear nonchalant. An ‘oof’ slipped past your lips and you clutched onto your chest, dramatizing the insulted expression.

“That’s it? Just cool? I’m a bit hurt.” 

Gwen rolled her eyes, laughing. “What else do you want me to say?” 

“I dunno, last time you said I was— and I quote— ‘very, very pretty’” You recalled, using air quotes. Gwen scratched her eyebrow, left blank on what to reply because— oh, yeah right— she did, in fact, say that. 

The smugness lingered on your face as you waited for her to break down and repeat herself, but she composed herself and cleared her throat. “Hey, it’s not fair if you’re the only one asking questions! Being interviewed is hard work, you know.” She raised her hands defensively, her eyebrows lifted. You immediately caught onto what she was doing and pointed an accusing finger at her.

“You’re avoiding my question.”

“Well, where’s the fun in knowing all the answers to the universe?”

You had to agree. But you leaned back and crossed one leg over the other, accidentally (or was it?) nudging her leg with your foot. “I don’t know. I like honesty.” 

Oh dear, Gwen narrowed her eyes, her chest throbbing. “Hey—” The both of you jumped and looked at the source of the greeting— neither of you knew when exactly, but the waiter stood there with a polite smile, holding three menus close to his stomach. “Just letting y’all know that since Valentine’s Day is coming up, the milkshakes are on discount for couples.” Gwen leaned far away from the table, from you, and let out an uncomfortable chuckle.

“Oh, no, we’re not—”

“Oh, great!” You exclaimed and grabbed Gwen’s hand. “Do you want to share one, babe?” 

Gwen froze, her shoulders and the hand you clutched onto tense, prickling at your touch. You looked at her attentively, and your lovey-dovey eyes left her stunned, grabbed onto her voice and trapped it in her throat— intimidated her. She had to give it to you, though, your acting could fool anyone or leave anyone wondering…especially her.

Seeing as the seconds continued to pass and she never replied, you chose to take it as a sign that she was following you and you glanced up at the waiter. “We’d like a vanilla milkshake, please.” You smiled. 

Following the waiter’s departure, Gwen looked at you surprised. “I thought you liked honesty?” She laughed in disbelief, pretending to judge you intensely. You innocently picked up another fry, hiding your growing beam.

“Hey, I’m not gonna turn down a discount.”

Gwen giggled, shaking her head. “Fair enough. But you’re crazy.”

“But you still love me, right babe?” You smirked and lifted your connected hands. When Gwen realized she hadn’t let go yet, she first thought about pulling away. But she didn’t. Instead, she timidly squeezed your hand, forcing out a scoff.

“Right. Of course, babe.” 

Finally, you unclasped your hands and Gwen’s hand slowly curled into a fist as she considered something. “Hey, where are you headed after this?” She rushed out. You tilted your head.

“Home. Why?”

She swallowed her nerves, thinking about dismissing her own question and shrugging it off. She had to get back home as well, after all.

But she didn’t want to yet.

“Can I walk you back?”

The walk back to your place dragged on for longer than usual, and you both pretended to act shocked, as if it’d been a glitch in the matrix and time ticked away slower than normal; but in the back of your heads, the two of you knew it’d been no accident, that you weren’t too engulfed into your conversation enough that you ended up taking the long way back home without noticing. Perhaps the two of you wandered longer, slowed down your pace much more than necessary— clung onto the moon and kept it in its place in the sky with your excuses so the night would stay, last as much as you wanted it to. Your efforts were partly successful, but of course, it had to come to an end eventually. 

Your meetings didn’t, though. No, they were just getting started.

On Valentine’s Day, you might have taken advantage of another discount for couples, but no one really needed to know that. After that day and after Gwen finally got a new phone (it took her a few days to tell her dad, since she knew he wouldn’t be the happiest once he heard how her phone got destroyed in the first place), you sent her a message which she couldn’t deny made her insides feel a type of way: ‘If you ever need a fake date, don’t hesitate in calling me’. 

And a winky face. She couldn’t forget the winky face.

But, in all truth, neither of you needed a ‘fake date’ as a reason to see each other. Every once in awhile, Thursday and Saturday after band practice, the two of you would abandon the girls and simply hang out. It didn’t matter where— sometimes you didn’t even have a place in mind, but somehow, gladly for your brain fearing rejection, Gwen would agree nonetheless. She didn’t think much about it until one afternoon, once you were done telling a bad joke that embarrassingly enough made her laugh, she realized she hadn’t checked the time. Not once.

During band practice, MJ and Glory noted that something had changed. Mainly because they soon realized they hadn’t witnessed any new embarrassing events between you two for them to laugh at behind your backs in a while, but your peeks at each other weren’t fearful anymore. They were now… something which they couldn’t place their finger on, but it was different enough for them to share a look and raise their eyebrows. Naturally, it didn’t take long before Em Jay had to jam herself into your affairs and asked you what you thought about Gwen, using as a justification that you had gotten a month and a half to get to know the band. 

If Gwen could’ve gotten the opportunity to travel back in time to step in and prevent Em Jay from getting close to you with her blabbering mouth, she would’ve taken it immediately.

“When were you going to tell me you two fucking knew each other?!” MJ’s shriek hurt Gwen’s ears and left her speechless for a few moments after she walked into the room. Then, she succeeded in processing her question through her brain, and her face was now considerably paler than before.

“Hello to you too?” 

MJ glared at her and walked away from her. While she moved around the many cables on the floor with her foot, Gwen dropped her backpack near the door, eyeing her. “How do you know?”

“I talked to Y/N.” She simply responded. Gwen huffed, unbelieving, and crossed her arms. 

“And why did you talk to her?”

MJ gave her an obvious look. “Because, uh, she’s my bandmate? And my friend?” Gwen rolled her eyes and crouched down to take her drumsticks from her bag; meanwhile, Em Jay wasn’t over the topic yet. “I can’t believe you kept that from me. Unbelievable. I’m the only one who knows about your little spider secret!” She threw her hands in the air, as if her attitude wasn’t already dramatic enough. Gwen looked up at her with squinted eyes.

“Because you found out on accident. Did you also tell her about that?” She scoffed, standing up. Em Jay followed her to the drums, pursing her lips.

“No. She wouldn’t believe me anyway. But in my defense, Glory and Betty never do either, so you’ve literally got nothing to worry about.” 

Gwen sat down on the drum stool. “We met last year, but we never became friends, though. We’re just acquaintances, I’m sorry. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Em Jay shrugged, her expression unchanging. “Yeah, I guess. Now I’m embarrassed for you again, though. You have to apologize to her.” 

Gwen’s mouth hung slightly open. “I already apologized twice! Why would I do it again?!”

“You acted as if you didn’t know her when you first met! Like, who does that?” However, before Gwen could explain herself, you and Glory walked through the door, carrying your instruments plus a milkshake in your hand.

“Sup.” Glory nodded her head at the two girls. MJ shot finger guns at her and you walked up to Gwen before you stretched out your arm, holding the milkshake up to her face. 

Gwen quirked a brow. “What’s this?”

“I got you a milkshake, babe.” You joked, smirking. Gwen’s cheeks and ears reddened and she hesitantly accepted it, her mouth twitching. “Since we haven’t had the chance to hang out in a while.”

MJ and Glory shared another of their looks, the one with which they telepathically communicated with. After you left Gwen, MJ kneeled down beside her, grinning knowingly. 

“She told me she thinks you’re great, dude. Do whatever you want with that information.”

Gwen chose not to do anything with it. At least not for now. 

Summer break came along to free Gwen from the suffocating hold school had around her neck, and more importantly, to give her time to focus on patrolling, the Mary Janes, and, well, you. Texting you in the morning, texting you at noon, texting you in the afternoon after she managed to stop a robbery at Junction Boulevard, texting you at night; and she couldn’t forget, of course, spending time with you whenever you could. How could she forget? It seemed almost impossible now, for you had implemented yourself into her routine, but she couldn’t quite pinpoint in what moment. She didn’t even come upon the realization until you left the state for a week, and she found herself waiting for your texts.

However, once you returned and the band reunited, Em Jay wasted no time and suggested having a ‘girl’s night’ at her place, claiming it wasn’t because she ‘missed you all, or anything, but for band-bonding’. She sent you and Gwen to the store to buy snacks (and, unsurprisingly for Gwen, winked at Glory as you two walked out of the door), and right now you both stood in front of the freezers, Gwen observing you as you put all your concentration, your tongue poking out of your mouth, on combining two sodas into an empty water bottle. Gwen gagged dramatically, laughter escaping her throat nonetheless. “That’s fucking gross, man.” She grimaced while you giggled maniacally.

The new beverage fizzled and you analyzed it closely, your eyes following the bubbles dancing in the liquid. “I can’t believe they sell bacon and ranch dressing soda here. This place is nuts.”

“And you’re mixing them together.”

“You could say I’m a scientist.”

Gwen scoffed at your statement, a grin lingering on her face. You sniffed the soda, and held it up to her face. “Do you want to try it?”

Gwen pushed the bottle away with her finger, wrinkling her nose. “You could have me at gunpoint and I still wouldn’t try it.”

You pouted, screwing the cap closed. “Okay, your loss, I guess. I’ll have it here just in case you change your mind.” You waved the bottle and placed it on a shelf before you kneeled down to inspect the bags of marshmallows. Gwen shook her head, her smile reaching her eyes.

“Trust me, I won’t.”

You picked up a bag, eyeing her sideways. “You know what?” You stole back her attention and she hummed, tilting her head. “You’re my favorite member in the band.”

Gwen’s face softened, although she wondered if she was crazy, or if her hands were all of a sudden clammy. “Me? Your… your favorite?” She asked, her voice small. You looked down, hoping she couldn’t see your timid expression.

“Yeah. I mean, no offense to Em Jay or Glory— they’re both awesome, but… I really like you, Gwen Stacy.” You shared eye contact, the corner of your mouth quirking up.

Gwen searched for something to distract herself with, and wound up snatching a random bag of gummies and pretending to read the ingredients. “Are you just trying to get me to pay for all of this?” She joked, gesturing to the casket of food. You let out a dramatic sigh, grumpily looking away from her.

“Aw, man, you caught me.” You made a sad face, but it was fleeting. “…But, no. I mean it. For real.”

Gwen bit her lip, her face the shade of the cherry candy in her hands. “Yeah, well… you’re pretty cool as well, Y/N L/N.” She copied you, shrugging. You groaned in annoyance, staring heavenward.

“Don’t give me that ‘you’re cool’ bullshit again.” You warned, mocking her voice and she giggled, placing the candy back in its place.

“What? It’s the truth!”

“Is that really all you think of me?” You feigned disappointment, playing with her. 

No. Most definitely not. Gwen had grown to form many opinions about you other than solely ‘just cool’. Her thoughts varied. Sometimes she liked the way you made her laugh so effortlessly. Other times she couldn’t wrap her head around how, with you, the concept of time was both nonexistent and eternal, a concept you took its meaning away from, for it became irrelevant. She loved how you played bass, and how you gave it a voice, personified it into a dancing body that mesmerized her. She liked the way the corners of your eyes crinkled when you smiled, and how you tilted your head sometimes when you were confused like a puppy. She liked your way of talking, your hair, how you dressed, your posture, your face and the flaws in your skin. 

Maybe she really liked you. And that scared her.

When she didn’t answer, you gave up and stood up, stretching your legs. “Okay, at least I’m glad you think I’m cool. It’s what I’d expect from my fake girlfriend.” You winked at her playfully, but she wasn’t fully paying attention now. “Okay, last question, though—”

Gwen sighed, her shoulders dropping. “What now?” You moved your arms behind your back, drawing a circle with the tip of your shoe on the floor.

“You never answered if you really think that I’m pretty.”

Gwen almost choked. She thought she had escaped that question months ago. Without thinking, her gaze landed on the soda hybrid sitting on the shelf and she grabbed it. You didn’t know what was happening in front of you until Gwen was sputtering after taking a big gulp of the drink. “What the fuck?! Why did you do that!” You gasped, your eyes wide and the laughter daring to climb up your throat.

Gwen stuck her tongue out and coughed, her face scrunching up with regret. “If I drink the soda then I don’t have to answer the question.” You couldn’t believe she was willing to do anything instead of giving you an answer.

You doubled over, cackling and holding your stomach. “Since when is that a rule?!”

“Since now.”

For the record, Gwen did think you were pretty. Very, very pretty.

As time went by, Gwen couldn’t help but stare during practice. Stare at your fingers, sliding down and up the neck with ease; your head, nodding along to the music, lost in it enough that you didn’t notice the obvious ogling from her part. And your face. She tried focusing on it most of the time, but it resulted a lot more difficult than she originally expected. You either moved it too much whilst you played, or you faced away from her since—well— she did play the drums. 

There was also the third reason. The unsettling burn in her chest that sped up her breathing if her mind went too far, which occurred if she thought about you too much. Too deeply. But, God, did she try, and God, did she take advantage of every time you looked back at her, because you inexplicably dissolved that uneasiness in her.

Late at night, with your blankets wrapped around you tightly, you stared at your phone screen, mindlessly scrolling and double-tapping every picture you came upon. Not a minute passed before you opened a conversation, however, perhaps for the fourth time— not that it was anyone’s business, anyway— awaiting for another text. Gwen’s text, to be more specific. You didn’t want to come off as obsessive, but it had been an hour and thirteen minutes yet she hadn’t responded, and you… were missing her? You shook your head. Well. There was a possibility that you were. Maybe, you couldn’t get her off your mind, and maybe, you wished you could simply think about her and she’d integrate right there in your bedroom—

A knock on the window disrupted your train of thought, and as if on cue, a notification rang from your phone. ‘It’s me’, you read. Gwen had sent the message. “What the fuck?” You muttered, confused. Needing to see it for yourself, you jumped out of your bed and ran to your window before you unlatched the window lock and slid it open. 

Of course, as the text message said, it was indeed Gwen, in your fire escape, and not a prank she elaborated to scare the life out of you. “Hi.” Was all she said. You tilted your head, your brows knitted together.

“Hi? Is that all you’re going to say?”

She thought for a second. “…How are you?” 

“What are you doing in my fire escape?”

“I got locked out of my house.” She shrugged. 

You let out a huff of air in disbelief, moving out of the way so she could climb inside. As she threw one leg over the sill, you placed your hands on your hips, shaking your head. “You get locked out of your house, and the first place that comes to your mind is my place?” You questioned, amused. Yet again, Gwen raised and dropped her shoulders. You went to close the window, but not before glancing out, imagining all the struggle she must’ve gone through to lower the ladder and then climb up five stories. “And how the hell did you even get all the way up here?” You muttered to yourself, but Gwen heard it.

“It’s a fire escape, my dear. They’re there to, you know, get out of the building so you don’t die if there’s a fire?”

You rolled your eyes and sat down on your bed. “Okay, just be quiet, ‘cause I don’t think my family would be very happy about having an unexpected visitor this late.” Guilt sculpted Gwen’s countenance.

“I mean… I can leave if you want—”

“No.” You said quickly, too fast for your liking, actually. You cleared your throat and smiled, patting the area beside you. “No, it’s alright. You can stay however long you want. They don’t have to find out.” You waggled your eyebrows jokingly. She was grateful the sole lamp rested on your bedside table, far away from you and its amber touch embracing you alone, for she didn’t need you seeing the blood rapidly rushing to her warm face. 

Gwen sat down where you motioned her to, although kept some distance, and squeezed her hands resting on her lap together. “Thanks… it’ll just be a while. My dad had an emergency, and I really don’t know when he’ll be back, so…” She explained and popped her mouth after her sentence died out. You nodded understandingly, shuffling somewhat closer to her.

“I’m glad you came here. I wouldn’t want you staying out there and freezing to death. Plus, I was pretty bored.”

Gwen raised a brow. “Bored? Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” 

You scoffed with a faint smile. “Shut up, hypocrite. You were out so late that you got left out of your house.”

“I was busy!”

“Doing what? Selling drugs?”

“Maybe. You’ll never know.”

You began to fan yourself. “Ooh, a drug lord, so hot.”

Gwen scrunched up her nose, giving you a judgemental look. “Is that what turns you on? Drug lords?”

“Nah, that’s not quite it…” You glanced at her out of the corner of your eye before your gaze shifted to your lap, your fingers playing with the hem of your shirt.

Gwen didn’t know whether she was reaching— but oh. She didn’t know what courage the universe granted her, either, for she then focused on her nails and pretended to be uninterested. “Huh, then what does turn you on?” Your eyebrows almost reached your hairline in surprise, but you quickly composed yourself. 

“Why do you want to know?” You asked, leaning closer to her. She shrugged one shoulder.

“I mean, you never know. What if a friend of mine wanted to ask you out?”

You bit your lip. “Depends. Is she cute?”

“I never specified their gender. And it’s theoretical.” She cleared up, raising one finger. You laughed, moving even closer to her.

“Well, then, I really like blue eyes.”

“…Really?” Her shy voice made your organs jump, which you didn’t know if it was normal or a serious medical condition you should get checked out. You hummed, holding yourself up with your arms behind you. “They’re cool, I guess.” Again, she tried to sound as if she didn’t care, or as if your comment didn’t make her as happy as it secretly did.

“Short hair is also pretty cute.” You added. “Especially if it’s a cool hairstyle.”

“A cool… a cool hairstyle, huh? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” Gwen now knew how frustrated you felt when she avoided your questions. “What about you?” You looked at her, insecurity threatening to overpower your current confidence.

“Oh. I don’t know. Musicians are hot.” She showed you a crooked smile. You wanted to squeal, embarrassingly enough.

“Do you like bass guitar players?” A bold move, indeed. Gwen faked entering deep into thought.

“…Eh, I think drummers are hotter.” 

You shoved her playfully, laughing. “Rude!” 

“Hey, you asked what I liked.” You both giggled, struggling to keep your noises down, but eventually, your laughter dissipated and she played with her fingers. “But bass players are pretty cute, too.”

You gulped, Gwen’s shoulder touching yours spiking your nerves. “Yeah, well, I agree that drummers are cute, too.” 

You both glanced down at each other’s lips, holding your breaths. However, before you could do anything, Gwen got to her feet. “You should try getting some sleep. I don’t want you being sleep deprived because of me.” She laughed nervously, taking off her sneakers. 

Disappointment invaded your brain, but admittedly, your eyes did feel a lot heavier than before. “What are you gonna do?” You questioned, remembering her situation. You definitely were more worried than her, who was unfazed.

“I’ll just wait I guess.”

“You should catch some Z’s as well.”

Gwen didn’t argue. She climbed into bed with you, although insisted she didn’t need any covers or blankets since she was just going to take a nap. After that, you couldn’t resist the sleep threatening to spread through your system and you passed out. It felt like minutes passed at most, until you were suddenly gently shaken awake. 

You fought to open your eyes before you squinted and looked up at whoever had woken you up. Slowly, the indistinguishable figure transformed into Gwen’s apologetic smile dimly lit by your bedside lamp. 

“Hey, sleepyhead.” 

You groaned, rubbing your bleary eyes and sitting up. “What time is it?” You croaked out. Gwen squinted to discern the numbers in her watch.

“Two in the morning.” 

“Two in the morning?!” She nodded, laughing quietly. “Do you have to go?” You would’ve been embarrassed by the heartbreak in your voice, but you were too out of it to dwell on it.

“Yeah, but it’s okay, you can go back to sleep. I just wanted to let you know.” 

You didn’t quite process what was going on until you saw her backing away to the window. Suddenly fully awake, your eyes widened and you threw your covers off of you. “What are you doing?” 

Gwen opened the window and glanced back at you, lifting a brow. “Leaving?” 

You yawned, shaking your finger at her. “No, no, no—” You rubbed your eye and laughed at her. “How about I lead you out of the door like a normal person?” 

Gwen blushed, slowly closing the window. “Ah, well, I guess that’s an option.”

“I don’t want to wake anyone up, though, so just stay quiet, alright?” Gwen simply nodded and you wrapped your hand around her wrist, guiding her towards your bedroom door. You opened it as silently as you could, holding your breath, almost afraid that if you breathed, the entire house would be blown away. There’s only darkness, but you walked into it unbothered, while Gwen followed you like a loyal animal. Now that her sight was gone, she fully took in your touch as your soft hold tugged on her arm. You suddenly stopped and she mimicked you, patiently waiting for the sound of the unlocking of the door. However, all she picked up was the shuffling of your feet before you held in your breath. Then, she felt your other hand grab hers.

“Gwen?” You asked quietly, your voice so timid the darkness and the silence could’ve easily engulfed it. Without the view of your face, your skin against hers seemed too much, nearly unbearable. 

“…Y-Yeah?”

“Can you see me?”

She shook her head, until she recalled that if she couldn’t see you, neither could you see her and the gesture was nothing more than useless. “Not really.”

“Okay. Cool.”

“Are you going to kill me?”

You giggled, and it didn’t knock over the walls, but it most definitely almost did her body.  “No. Do you want me to?”

“Eh… no, thanks.”

“Ok, dork.” You chuckled, but it instantly came to an end. Your breathing wasn’t steady anymore— it trembled, sounded heavy. Then, out of nowhere: “If I kiss you, are you going to run away?”

Gwen just blinked. Despite the darkness, white dots exploded in her vision. “W-what?” Her voice almost failed her.

“Can I kiss you?”

In the room, there was nothing more. It was just your nervous breaths, your loud fridge, and Gwen’s heart. Her heart at full volume, pumping fast, doing its best to keep her awake, sane, on her feet. It was just you and her. Solely you, your gentle hands, and her. She blinked again.

“Okay.”

Your touch disappeared but then reappeared on her cheek, and absentmindedly, she placed her hand over yours. Your thumb, shaking, searched for her mouth, until it successfully brushed against her lips. Gwen gulped, her skin tingling as your breath fanned over it.

It was just you, her, and your lips. Your lips and her own.

You both remained with your eyes closed after your lips lost contact, although it didn’t make a difference in any way. But Gwen’s eyelids fluttered open, and a beam began to blossom.

“I’m glad you didn’t kill me.”

You kissed her a second time before she left. 

It would be a criminal understatement to say that Gwen freaked out after she arrived back home. When she made the decision to start letting new friends into her life for good at the beginning of the year as another New Year’s resolution, she took a gigantic step. She then spoke to MJ, which was a leap in itself, and you joined the band. She stumbled, balanced herself on one foot at the edge for a while, but eventually, she managed to jump to the third step once she waited outside your school and apologized to you. She was convinced that would be it; the final and toughest stride, because if she managed to get past through all the previous ones, then it had to mean she was ready, right? 

She was just finding out she was wrong, though.

The plan was to make a friend. A friend and nothing more nor nothing less. However, without being fully conscious of it, she continued to sprint up the stairs, past what her original intention was. And now, as she stared so far up at the next colossal step— at the feelings that kept growing for you, at your kiss, at you— she felt herself tipping backwards. There was no way she could climb that. She’d only slip and plummet down to her death.

Somehow, though, when you two agreed on meeting up at an arcade two days later, she decided she might as well go for it. 

Gwen eyed the time for what she felt was the millionth time that day and her mask muffled the groan that followed. She had at least thirty minutes left of patrol and— she knew it was a dramatic statement— she didn’t know if she would be able to make it through them. I could call it a day earlier, she thought. It had been the most uneventful day lacking any major criminal activity, after all: all she did was help a little kid get back to his father and stop the usual theft, but other than that, she spent the day swinging around and even had the time to take a picture with a fan. 

Her phone began to vibrate. You were calling her. “Hey… you…kid…” She cringed. How was she supposed to greet you from now on? Things weren’t the same. 

She heard you snort at her hello. “Hi. Just wanted to tell you that I’m on my way.”

Gwen’s brows snapped together and she checked the time one more time. “Already? You’re early.”

“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to get started earlier so I don’t have to walk back home too late, but also so I can beat your ass and get more tickets than you.”

“Are you challenging me?”

“Not really, because I already know I’m gonna win.”

“Don’t sound so confident,” Gwen smiled and lied down on her back, staring up at the sky. “But if you do win, you better get me a prize.”

“Why would I get the loser a prize? I’m gonna get myself something cool and big and rub it in your face.” 

Gwen scoffed but giggled nonetheless. All of a sudden, you went dead silent and she sat up, perking her ears for any further noise. “Y/N? Are you still there?”

It took you a few seconds to answer. “I just heard something weird.”

Gwen’s face drained of color and she jumped up, the tingling present in the back of her head. “Are you alone?”

“Yeah.”

“Get out of there. Now. Find somewhere that’s crowded.”

“Don’t be so paranoid. I bet it’s nothing. Could you imagine if I, like, got murdered, though?” You laughed nervously, trying to ease both of your nerves but Gwen’s sting in her head was only strengthening. “How tragic. Anyway—” 

Your voice halted. A distant strangled cry left the speaker. “Y/N?!” Gwen called for your attention, frantic, her heart nearly breaking out of her chest. Something was not right.

“Hold on.”

It was all you said before you ended the call. She wasted no time nor hesitated— she ran to the end of the rooftop and jumped off, shooting a web. She swung as fast as she could, to the point where her aim nearly missed a building. Her thoughts were rushed, hectic, created the worst scenarios so vivid the bile began to make her way up her throat and she had to blink the dampness of her eyes away.

Hiding behind a dumpster nearing the end of an alleyway, you held your phone up to your ear, your legs aching from the speed with which you ran away. You could barely breathe. It was just a messy attempt of ragged breaths that despite how hard you tried to make them quiet, you simply couldn’t. “Please hurry up.”

“We’re trying to get there as fast as we can, miss. Are you hurt?”

“N-No, I’m fi—” A loud bang shook the dumpster next to you and you involuntarily yelped in fear. Your hand flew up to cover your mouth, but it was too late. 

The woman and the man who chased you quickly found you, and the guy gripped your arm, yanking you out of your hiding spot. “What the fuck did you see?!” He spat in your face, holding you trapped against his body with his arm choking your neck. “Tell us or you’re fucking dead, hear me?!”

You sputtered and your fingernails scratched his arm, trying to get him off of you. When you realized you weren’t getting anywhere, your eyes flickered down to your hand. You blindly moved it up to his face, and once you grazed his eyelashes, you dug your fingers into his eye with all your strength. 

He cried out and let go of you. Without thinking, you spun around and went in to punch whatever area of his face you hoped your hit landed on. But he recovered quickly and caught your fist in mid-air. All you could do was stare at him in horror. You didn’t quite process what was coming at you until he struck your eye. 

“Bad move, kid.” The woman said and you glanced up at her with watery eyes, shielding the throbbing left side of your face. She took out her gun, pointed it at you, and your heart dropped. 

You had lost all hope, until a ‘thwip!’ echoed in between the walls.

Out of nowhere, a web stuck to the barrel of the gun and, in the blink of an eye, snatched it from the woman’s grasp. Spider-Gwen came into your blurry vision before she spun the gun and smacked it onto the stranger’s head. 

She stumbled backwards, grasping her head. Meanwhile, Gwen shot two webs at the wall behind the older girl. Holding onto the strings tightly, she pushed herself off the ground and knocked her down with a kick at her jaw. As she webbed her to the wall, her eyes suddenly widened. She swiftly ducked under, dodging a punch coming from the man behind her. Crouching down, she swiped her leg under him and sent him down. 

After he fell on the ground, Gwen towered over him, her fists shaking with fury. As soon as he opened his eyes, she drew her arm back and smashed her knuckles into his nose, a painful crack resonating clear and loud. 

She panted loudly, her chest rising and falling quickly as she trapped the now unconscious man’s hand to the gravel. She continued to observe him, her lip twitching, the sirens approaching in the background, until she heard a dry sob behind her. She looked back, only to see you backed up into the corner, hugging yourself.

Gwen ran up to you and kneeled down in front of you, holding your hand. “H-Hey, hey, you’re okay now.” She shushed you, her hand almost coming up to your cheek until she stopped herself. She wanted to stay with you and ask more questions, but two police cars parked themselves at the start of the alleyway. Her heart screamed at her not to. It cursed at her, begged for her feet not to move. However, she looked down at you one last moment and she shot a web up at the sky, zipping out of there.

She watched over you for an hour and a half as you talked to the police, and then when the paramedics attended you. She couldn’t stay long, though, since you furrowed your brows and then glanced up, your sight focusing on her. She instantly hid away, deciding that it’d be best if she just waited at your apartment.

Gwen tried telling herself that you were now fine. She saw you there, not missing a limb or anything, breathing and alive. But despite that, she couldn’t rest in peace. The image of you in the corner— your entire body shaking, your rough appearance, the tears that abandoned your eyes. Broken. It wouldn’t fuck off despite how many times she told it to. 

She couldn’t help but recall Peter Parker’s face as she shakily held his corpse in her arms. And then she remembered why she had given up on letting anyone get close to her in the first place.

She had lost track of how long she’d been staring at your window. The window which she climbed through just three nights ago when she got locked out of her place. The night your warm smile greeted her. The night you first kissed her. The night that, perhaps if it hadn’t occurred— if she hadn’t forgotten to take her key with her, or she had left her window open, if she had gone to Em Jay’s, Glory’s, or even Betty’s place instead of yours— if she hadn’t been in the picture, you wouldn’t be in the situation that you were in now. 

Because of her, you could’ve lost your life.

She’d texted you— as Gwen— asking if you were alright. It didn’t help that you straight up lied and said that you weren’t feeling alright so you decided to skip the night. At last, the light turned on in your room and she snapped out of a trance. It didn’t take long before she was trying to look through your window as discreetly as she could, her heart starting yet again with its running when she made out your silhouette. It moved around the room, until it stopped in front of the window. To her nightmare, your figure grew bigger as it came closer and closer, and opened the window. When she saw your face, her insides twisted.

You nearly screamed as soon as you saw Spider-Woman outside your window. You jumped back. It was the Spider-Woman. Unbelieving, you blinked at her— a bad idea, you then realized, considering your bruised eye. 

“…Spider-Woman?”

“Uh, hi there.”

You touched your head, closing your eyes. Maybe the blow you received was worse than you thought. “Am I hallucinating?” 

Gwen laughed weakly. “Nope. I’m very real right now.”

“Oh, okay.” You stared at her, disoriented, a million questions running through your brain. “Can I— can I ask what you are doing here?” You chose to ask first. 

“I, uh, wanted to check up on you after the incident that happened earlier. I didn’t really have time to say anything.” It wasn’t fully a lie. You nodded slowly, tilting your head.

“How’d you know where I live?”

She couldn’t judge you for asking so many questions, but God, coming up with a lie on the spot was turning out to be problematic for her. “Uh… spider-sense?”

She tried.

You were yet more perplexed. “Spider what?”

“It’s a thing… I have…” She tapped her head. Again, it wasn’t a full-blown lie. Thankfully, you didn’t continue budging and instead hummed, nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. “You don’t have to answer— only if you want to talk about it, but…what happened?” She asked quietly, afraid of your reaction. Your body went rigid and you hesitated. 

“I was going to meet up with a girl I like when I heard and then saw someone getting beaten to death.” Her white eye lenses grew big. “The two out of the three people doing it saw me and began to chase me. I tried to hide, but they eventually caught up to me.” You whispered.

Her fingers touched her mouth. “Oh God… I’m so… I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.”

You raised a brow. “…What do you mean? You saved me.”

“But I…” Gwen choked up and you furrowed your brows. She checked her watch, her body so weak she was surprised she was standing up. “I have to go. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You don’t deserve it.”

Before you could reply, she scurried away from your window and leaped off the fire escape. You watched as she swung away and eventually disappeared, feeling hazy and more puzzled than ever.

After she thought she had gotten far away enough, Gwen dropped down on a random rooftop, stumbling and falling to her knees. She felt trapped inside the mask. Almost as if it were stuck, permanently sewn to her skin, and if she tried to rip it off, she’d tear every last inch of skin off with it. She was the mask. She was Spider-Woman, and would forever be. It’s a responsibility she was doomed with for eternity unless she lost a fucking limb or her own life, and there’s nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t simply walk away, or dispose of all the criminals and villains, all the calamities and traps hurled at her which sent her defenseless body flying, hurting it, along with everyone else in the way. Everyone else like Peter. Peter and now you. 

Her trembling hand ripped off her mask, her wet face nearly freezing as the wind attacked her skin. She took out her phone and searched for your contact, wiping her nose with her gloves. “Hey…” She typed, but stopped. Keep going, she urged herself. Just fucking write. Her thumb hung above the keyboard, her teary eyes fixed on the cursor blinking, taunting her. 

“If you don’t do this, I’m going to hate you for the rest of my fucking life, Gwen.” She hissed at herself and hiccuped after. It didn’t matter if you hated her. It had to be done.

You inspected with a frown at your bruised eye in the mirror, your fingers ghosting over the swollen skin. But your grimace vanished and a faint grin took over your features when you received a message and read Gwen’s name. Rapidly, you opened the text, the overwhelming heaviness burning in your chest immediately flickering out.

It was only temporary, though.

Gwen read the message one last time, and her heart dropped down to her stomach the instant she saw you had opened it. Her own words repeated themselves in her head, slashing her skin with regret, mercilessly cutting her heart apart into unfixable bits.

“I’ve been thinking lately, and I think it’d be best if we’re just bandmates. You’re cool, so I hope that there are no hard feelings between us.”

She turned off her phone and closed her eyes, letting out a long breath. Somehow, she still hated herself.

You didn’t reply. Not a word, no phone call. Nothing. You explained to MJ and Glory what had happened and missed band practice for a week, saying you wanted your eye to heal as much as possible. You never told Gwen anything, though. The girls were in charge of doing it, and she had to act surprised and repress the regret that stabbed at her. Glory was shocked she wasn’t the first to find out and she questioned her about it, but Gwen solely shrugged and forced out a laugh when MJ joked that getting hurt was a curse running for bassists in the band. 

The week had finally passed by and you came to Thursday rehearsal. You still greeted Glory with your secret handshake and MJ with the usual hug, as enthusiastic as always. But you ignored Gwen, and she didn’t fight against it. She had now made a promise to herself she couldn’t break. 

You’d been practicing for an hour longer than usual, stuck on the same song since Em Jay would stop in the midst of it and insist that you started over again. Everyone knew who was— or, to be more correct— were the culprits, but no one dared to speak up. MJ broke away from the mic, rubbing her face in frustration, and raised her fist in the air to end the playing. “Okay, that sucked. Yet again. But it’s okay, let’s start over from the top.”

Glory let her fingers run down the keyboard, creating what you could say was the loveliest catastrophe of a melody, and sighed. “Em Jay, I think we should take a break—”

“No, no, no, we’ll get it right this time. Let’s just get it over with, okay?” No one agreed, but she continued nonetheless. “One, two, three!”

You began again. At first, no one was messing up, and Em Jay’s hope returned. However, a minute into the song, both the drums and the bass went their own ways and invented their own pace, and MJ turned around, her hands on her hips. “I didn’t want to say it, but you two really need to get your shit together.” She pointed at Gwen and then at you. 

Gwen glanced at you. “Y/N’s a bit late.” You opened your mouth in disbelief and faced her.

“You’re going way too fucking fast!”

“No, that’s the right tempo.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Uh, yeah, it is.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Since when?”

“Since always!” Gwen exclaimed, sharing your scowl. “I’m the one who’s been here since the beginning, I think I know better.” 

You couldn’t keep your mouth shut any longer.

“Shut the fuck up, you don’t know shit, okay?!” You yelled at her, taking an intimidating step closer to her. When MJ noticed Gwen gripping her drumsticks hard, she tried to intervene.

“Guys—”

“Leave it, Mary Jane.” Gwen warned her, her face stern, and MJ stared at her, expressionless.

“It’s Em Jay.”

“I don’t fucking care!” 

“Yeah, you very clearly don’t, huh?” You said, laughing without humor and stepping even closer to Gwen. “You don’t know shit, and you don’t give a shit about anyone. It’s scary how you pretend to care about someone, but you don’t. You just fucking use them to keep yourself entertained for a while, until you get bored and then decide to leave.” You were now right in front of her, and you pointed an accusing finger into her face. Gwen tensed her jaw, fighting hard against the wetness of her eyes.

“That’s not true.”

“Oh, don’t fucking lie, Gwen.” You glared at her, shaking your head. “Don’t act like I don’t know you.”

You both shared eye contact for a few moments, and as Gwen began to blink hard, you scoffed and took a step back. “Whatever.” You muttered and turned away. “I think I’m done for the day.”

The room stayed dead silent while you packed your things up. Glory and Em Jay communicated with each other through their gazes, both equally as confused, but Gwen stuck her sight to the floor, her lip trembling as she curled her hand so tightly around the drumstick it snapped. You slammed the door shut, and Em Jay cleared her throat, biting her nails. 

“What the fuck just happened?” MJ and Glory moved their stares to Gwen. “Gwen?”

Gwen rubbed her eye, sighing. “What?” She mumbled. MJ approached her slowly, frowning.

“You got something to tell us?”

Gwen shrugged. “Maybe.” Glory raised her brows. “I messed up long ago.”

“She seems too mad for it to have been long ago.” MJ laughed nervously, but Gwen wasn’t taking any of it anymore. She stood up and pulled her hair, groaning.

“God, Em Jay, this wouldn’t have happened if you had just fucking stopped trying so hard to make our friendship work. You don’t even care about me making friends, you just wanted to feel good about yourself for helping poor little me!” She shouted, nudging MJ with her drumsticks. Em Jay remained quiet, visibly hurt, and hugging herself.

“Gwen.” Glory repeated, her strict voice shocking both Gwen and MJ. “I think you hurt someone. And I think you owe them an apology.” 

Gwen took a moment to breathe, and that was when she realized what she had done. She looked at MJ and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. “I’m sorry, Em Jay. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. Thank you for trying. I should’ve tried harder as well.” She whispered sadly.

The corner of MJ’s mouth quirked upwards, and gripped her hand back. “Thanks. But I think you’ve got one more apology left.”

It felt like February all over again. Back when MJ called her to tell her the same thing, and one day later, Gwen waited outside your school. However, this time, she knew she had to apologize for real. For the correct reason.

Gwen let her drumsticks fall to the floor and she jumped over the cables. Speeding out of the door, she hoped she still had the chance to catch up to you and hadn’t lost you again. To her relief, you were at the end of the corridor, in front of the opening elevator doors when she called out your name. Your ears perked up, but your expression hardened when you saw her running up to you. “Y/N, listen—”

“Fuck off.” You laughed and moved to get into the elevator, but Gwen grabbed your arm and spun you around. 

“No!” You stared at her, shocked. “N-No, I’m not going to… fuck off. Not this time.” Her eyes were big, begging. 

You clutched her wrist and pulled her hand away from you. “I think it’s too little too late, Gwen. I’ve had enough.”

“I made a mistake.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“Just let me talk, please.”

“No.” You shushed her, breathing heavily. “Let me talk, okay? Let me tell you about this little mistake of yours. Not only did you act as if you didn’t know me months ago and said we were never friends when I joined the band, but you acted as if you hadn’t already done this. You played with my feelings. Not once, but apparently fucking twice! And you didn’t even apologize!” 

Your voice broke as you finally let out your repressed feelings, and you hated yourself for it. You despised yourself for still listening to her, for still caring about her.

You left Gwen speechless. “You wanted to talk, and now I’m giving you the chance. Say something.” You begged, prepared to be let down. But she looked up at you and let out a shaky sigh, sniffing.

“I don’t… I don’t know. I thought I liked you a year ago when we first met. I really did. The feelings were there, b-but…”

“If you never liked me, then why’d you come back?” You asked, broken-hearted. It hurt Gwen to see how much pain she had caused you, all because she was too much of a coward to own up to her feelings. 

“That’s the thing.” She breathed out, shrugging. “Maybe I do.”

Your face softened. “What?”

“Don’t make me explain it, please.”

“You have to.”

“I can’t.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, groaning. “For fuck’s sake.” Gwen shook her head and her shoulders began to shake.

“I can’t…”

“Why not—”

“Because it scares me!” She cried out, a sob finally breaking free from her system. You frowned.

“Why?”

“B-Because…” She wiped her nose, struggling to spit it out. “I really like you. I really do. And I don’t know if I’m ready for something like that. I can’t lose you.”

You gently grabbed her shoulder, while your other hand held her chin. “I’m not going to run away from you. I’m here.”

It wasn’t as simple as that. “I can’t.” She said again, even if she didn’t want to let go of your touch. You bit your lip.

“You can’t or you don’t want to?” 

She didn’t know what to answer. Your hand slowly sneaked down to hold hers, and you looked at her for permission, your expectations not as high. But she clutched your hand hard. “You can do it, Gwen. You can’t spend the rest of your life like this. If you do, you will lose everyone.” You smiled sadly. You quieted down, pondering, but eventually, you breathed out and closed your eyes. “I really like you, too. I always did. And if I have to wait, it’s okay. Just… don’t disappear again, okay?”

Gwen analyzed your face. She wondered what you must have looked like that night back when you kissed her. And since she hadn’t done anything right before, she wondered whether she could try again. 

In a second, she squeezed her eyes shut and pecked your lips. You were caught off guard as your fingers came up to touch your mouth. “Nah, you’re right. I think it’s about damn time.” She bit back her smile.

She took the big step.

[laws-hat-headcanons]

Second commission for @beastofflevance featuring Sakazuki again!! I hope he isnt too ooc - since a lot of these word prompts are s/o relevant I didnt want them all to be like "no he is mean and doesnt like people >8(" so there are a few liberties I guess!! Anyway! Hope you like it!! 💙

Sakazuki - Blood, Snow, Ice, Silver, Heart, Hand, Flower, Gold, Glass, Bone

Blood: How did they react the first time their S/O got badly injured??

. At first he doesn't really know how to react.

. Sakazuki always thought that the thing he cared about most was the Marines and his absolute justice, but as he watches his partner fall to the ground, red already blooming across her chest, he's not so sure.

. But there are still enemies to fight, and Sakazuki will always do his duty – but maybe he dispatches his foes with more speed and ferocity than usual, a little more desperation than before.

. He is by her side as soon as he can be, directing the troops under his command to get the injured to the infirmary. Not specifying her, obviously, but if she happens to be the first one seen then that's his business.

. Sakazuki can't be by her side much during her recovery. He has so many responsibilities to see to but he makes sure he gets frequent updates on her progress from the head medic.

. He visits when he can, but it is infrequent. Partially because of his time constraints and partially because he feels this boiling feeling in his chest when he sees her lying there. He hates to see her in pain.

Snow: One thing they love about their partner?

. Sakazuki appreciates confidence.

. In his partners self, in her looks, in her kindness, in her mind, in her morals or her decisions and actions – it doesn't matter which.

. As long as she can show him conviction in some part of her life he will stand by her always.

. Physically he loves her eyes.

. There is something genuine about the looks she gives him that makes him need to look away or risk that hot feeling that she sometimes elicits from him. Sakazuki is not a man who blushes easily.

. He would never admit it, but he could lose hours staring into those eyes.

 

Ice: One thing they dislike about their partner?

. For someone to catch his interest in the first place they have to be something special, but Sakazuki is very picky.

. He will always find something about his S/O that bothers him, but it will be small.

. If he finds something big about them that he doesn't like he won't be with them for long. He's just not tolerant enough to stay in a relationship with someone who can bother him that badly.

. So for Sakazuki it's something small about her that bothers him.

. Something like biting her nails or kissing her teeth. Humming while he's doing paper work or running her fingers through his hair to distract him.

Silver: Do they keep their promises?

. Sakazuki considers himself a man of his word so he doesn't make promises he can't keep.

. If his partner wants something from him Sakazuki is always realistic with her. If her request clashes with a pre-existing commitment he will be straight up and decline it.

. But he is organized enough to plan ahead. If he knows there is an important date coming up for him and his partner he will keep it free so when she asks if they can do something he can say yes.

. Sakazuki won't say “I'll try.” He either can, or he can't and he doesn't see the point in mincing his words.

. So he doesn't make promises often, but the ones he does make he always keeps.

Heart: When did they first realise they were in love?

. Sakazuki might not be the most emotional person, but he knows his feelings, so it doesn't take long for him to realise that it's deeper than just attraction.

. It's probably a quiet moment between them that does it though.

. He's been working for hours, bent over a desk trying to sort through all the mission reports that have been submitted to him.

. He hasn't eaten or had a drink in hours, but he's too intent to stop now, ready to work through the night – so when she appears he's surprised, thinking she would have gone to bed hours ago.

. She brings a steaming pot of tea and a small plate of food that she puts on his desk, watching him as he stretches from his hunched position.

. And she rubs a hand across his shoulders, gives him a peck on the cheek and leaves him to get back to it. She doesn't ask him to stop and come to bed, she knows him better than that.

. Sakazuki feels content in that moment. He isn't used to having someone look after him like that. And he is surprised to realise how much it meant to him.

Hand: How do they show affection to the people they care about?

. Sakazuki has such a stern personality that it is very hard to pick up when he is being affectionate.

. He's very private so he doesn't really like to show too many feelings in front of other people, he keeps most of his affection for with his partner behind closed doors.

. But there are small things.

. When out with his partner he will place a hand on the small of her back, keeping her close. He will pull out her chair when they sit down for dinner, and makes sure she is served first.

. Sakazuki will always put her before himself. Will try to maintain a presence and ask her about her day. Will always try to spend time with her when he can.

. He doesn't believe in frivolous gifts and he will never buy her trinkets – he hates clutter – but if she shows an interest in something when they are out and about he will remember it for a later date.

Flower: How protective are they over their loved ones?

. Oh, so protective.

. Sakazuki can count on one hand the people he cares about – with digits to spare.

. His preferred method of protecting his special people is to keep them out of harms way in the first place.

. If he can keep his partner from the front lines then he will. He doesn't care if it hurts their feelings, he cares that they don't get injured.

. There aren't many people in the Marines that are dumb enough to threaten Sakazuki's S/O, so he doesn't have much to worry about on that front.

. But if someone outside the Navy were to become a problem Sakazuki wouldn't tolerate it for long.

. And his brand of retaliation will leave the other person drinking through a straw.

Gold: What was their first kiss with their S/O like?

. Sakazuki is the kind of man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to get it, in relationships and any other aspect of his life.

. So he isn't at all hesitant at the thought of kissing his S/O for the first time.

. Until he is face to face with them, looking into those beautiful eyes and that hot feeling is bubbling inside him again.

. Sakazuki moves in slowly, giving her the opportunity to pull away if she desires, but he feels her hands on his chest as she goes up on her tip toes to meet him.

. The kiss itself is short and sweet, lingering a little at the end.

. He feels a little hot under the collar with the warm feeling of her lips against his, but he doesn't let it show.

Glass: Are they open with their partner? Do they allow themselves to be vulnerable around them?

. Sakazuki doesn't talk about his feelings, even with this partner - unless it directly effects them.

. He is so private and he doesn't like involving other people in his life if he doesn't have to. He doesn't enjoy letting people in and he doesn't enjoy sharing how he's feeling either.

. His partner would have to be something very special or they would have to be together for a long time in order for him to open up about his emotions.

. Unfortunately Sakazuki is not in the habit of being vulnerable in any way, shape or form. It just.. is not something he is willing to do. He will never willingly make himself look less than the controlled and powerful person he has built himself up to be.

. If emotional intimacy is important to his partner they will find Sakazuki somewhat lacking.

Bone: How do their react if their S/O gets hurt because of them?

. Sakazuki is furious. He's furious that he is always so careful and meticulous about keeping his S/O safe, and then he is the one that injures them? Ridiculous.

. He has very good control over his moments, so Sakazuki knows he didn't hurt her badly. But he did hurt her and he hates that.

. That feeling of embarrassment and worry that mingles within him is not a feeling he enjoys, and he is angry at himself. Unfortunately it seems to translate that he is angry at her.

. He will tell her to get up, will brusquely check over her injury and treat her if it's required, all the while glowering.

. Sakazuki will berate her for not being more careful, that she is lucky that the wound was so minor – but really these are things he should be telling himself. He won't stick around for long, feeling foolish and guilty.

[mad-men-inc]

:eyes: sam n drew for the oc ask thing earlier? if ur doing those?

We got Sam twice so due to Gay Reasons, you’re getting her response here. All of it is under the cut tho, cause this is a long list XD Thanks for the ask, beanie!

Full name: Samantha Kyle

Gender + sexuality: female, technically lesbian!

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity: white, american!

Birthplace + date: Los Angeles, CA, december 21st! ;P

Guilty pleasures: daydreaming about self-indulgent stories with friend’s OCs. namely your OCs, Kitty. whoops?

Phobias: strings, spiders, bad touch people XP

What’re they famous for: probably talking shit to the wrong person and getting my ass kicked. didnt say its gotta be a good thing!

What’re they arrested for: ... probably talking shit to the wrong person. or breaking and entering. or rioting? or petty theft? or beating the shit out of some asshole? wait am i incriminating myself?

OC I ship them with: uhh. you count, right bluejay? real oc tho: dani! :D

OC most likely to murder them: liza.

Favorite movie/book genre: horror! 

Least favorite movie/book cliche: unearned happy endings. personally, i love it when the characters have to fight tooth and nail for their endings. i also really dislike random deaths just for emotional responses instead of plot reasons :P

Talents/powers: uhhhhh, extreme shittalking? im pretty witty, and a good fighter! depending on the universe, i also have wings, piloting skills, or really good gun skills! 

Why someone might love them: good q, hey kitty? weiruy nah, probably my quick thinking, the ability to be poetic sometimes, and im good under pressure?  

Why someone might hate them: usually my big heart and big mouth gets me and my friends in trouble. i straight up dont know when to shut up Ever too.

How they change: uhhh, i started as a puppetbrain fool, and now im a rebellious bitch? thats an answer!

Why I love them: lex loves me cause they gotta deal with me so often ;P but also cause i help calm them down most days and i give them story ideas. and can actually finish writing pieces. and i can help write their essays. all of which are Helpful

--

Full name: Drew Harper

Gender + sexuality: Male, gay, grey ace

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity: White, British if I remember, otherwise American.

Birthplace + date: Brighton, UK, July 10th

Guilty pleasures: Watching shitty romcoms in my PJs, eating entire gallons of ice cream and popcorn too.

Phobias: Ink, zombies, strings, spiders, axes.

What’re they famous for: Starting the Septic Resistance. Being involved in killing Anti. Being a general hero maybe? 

What’re they arrested for: Vigilante actions. Hacking government files. Breaking and entering, blackmail. But see, you’re only in trouble if you get caught. 

OC I ship them with: Marvin, or So Far Unnamed Neighbor ;D

OC most likely to murder them: If we had an Anti, him. Out of who we do have, probably Reunion!Jackie? He doesn’t like me for some reason.

Favorite movie/book genre: Action/adventure. 

Least favorite movie/book cliche: “Douchebag guy gets the girl because he cleans up his act around her, but he’s still an asshole to everyone else”, or “Person gets heartbroken because they heard an out-of-context part of a conversation and they run away crying, the miscommunication gets cleared up 30 seconds after they leave,” or “nerdy girl starts wearing makeup and suddenly that makes her worthy of the attention of her peers, and also the cool guy she was crushing on finally gives her attention now that shes pretty.” I have a lot of feelings about these stupid tropes :P

Talents/powers: Leadership, good with a bo-staff and hand-to-hand combat, parkour, charismatic as hell, really good at being emotional support.

Why someone might love them: Emotional support!!! And unending positivity, and the leadership skills. I can stay level headed typically. 

Why someone might hate them: I bottle up emotions until the dam breaks and then I hide away for days until I can reign in my emotions. 

How they change: I started off as a brooding hardass, akin to Batman, and now I’m a relatively bubbly dork, more akin to Spiderman. Plus hope is hard to come by now.

Why I love them: Lex loves me because I give them confidence, and writing me is pretty fun apparently! 

[footiepositivity]

Hi💕 its the aaron anon! I really appreciate that did write the solutions to all of my problems! Really! I’m okay with the aaron’s hug though as i really need it! It felt good to be spoke finally about how thing are done in my home and for mom and dad, their problem never end so i just lost hope abou it and YES we tried all of the solutions you said like i swear all of it! But it didn’t really fix them, and for my sister i believe and i hope that i will help her in her problems too!

So for me i really appreciate crying rn but i already cried when i read your sweet words so no😁 but for that boy i was supposed to have a thing with him all of the problem with that i unfriended him because We dont talk as Im very religious so i did it! He made me feel like the good girl he wanted and i thought it was nice but now he left with no exercises! I felt like nothing specially cause I’m like a very confident of myself and proud of how pretty and brave Im to face all those problems!

The txt ending quickly so sorry for always interpreting you! And dont worry reply whenever you are free! I too loved the words you said about me and it made realize-even more- of how worthy and pretty girl I’m! My recent mode is just happy and tired! I know life is full of ups and downs but i feel my family is down lately for a long time now and i really love them its like I’m the member who is taking care of them and they said this too but that is so so true!!

And for me again i really want to have dresses and vails shop, i want to be a translator and, fashion designer, writer and everyone say i can do all of it but its hard when you dealing with too many obstacles in you own life and the life of the people you truly love! brother also have a problem and if i can get Aarons advice it would be👍🏽 He spent much time in PlayStation and it effects his eyes he wear glasses and his degrees and he is now in his last year of high school so its very important

And my sister! She has a mental illnesses so we did try a therapist but everything failed! I try my best with her now since she and her husband nearly separated and having very serious problems like my parents once and yk aaron? I just didnt want her to turn to them! I wouldnt bear it anymore! That is way i have issues too! I have daddy issues i hate him and i hate myself for doing so! That is why i love aaron in the first place. I think i really need another long message

Well, Aaron wants to offer you another hug, to start off with!

He wants to remind you that it is by no means easy to fix a marriage or deal with mental health issues. So if your parents and sister have tried therapy and counseling before and it hasn’t worked, that doesn’t mean they should give up. 

Aaron also wants to suggest that it might be worth considering getting a therapist yourself--it’ll be helpful to talk to someone about all the things going on in your family and advise you on appropriate responses. Again, you’re trying to take care of everyone else, so it might be good for you to have a therapist to make sure you take care of yourself at the same time. You could also discuss your issues with your father with your therapist. Remember--for a good relationship with yourself, you need to find the right therapist, someone who connects with you and you feel comfortable with. That’s the person who can help you. if you’re uncomfortable opening up to your therapist, then that makes things a lot harder. 

About this boy, you say you were supposed to have a thing with him, but also you’re quite religious so you called it off, but he made you feel good. You said you don’t feel anything in particular, so it might be best to just sit with that, let yourself process. Aaron is still a little confused about what you need help with or advice about with this. If you’re okay, that’s great! You don’t have to feel guilty for being okay with not talking to this person anymore. You don’t have to feel guilty about doing what you think is right and what is in accordance with your religious beliefs. If you’re hurt that he’s gone, then that’s also perfectly normal. Acknowledge that hurt, let yourself feel it, rather than denying it, and then you can begin to move on and heal. 

For your brother, Aaron wants to remind you that you can’t control what he does. You can give him advice--that playing video games for too long will hurt his eyes or distract him from his studies, but you can’t make him stop, nor are you responsible for the consequences of his actions. Encourage him to set boundaries, to exhibit self-control, but don’t feel guilty if he plays too many video games and ends up getting bad grades, either. That’s not your fault!

Finally, for your sister--it seems that she’s going through a really tough time. Again, Aaron recommends therapy. He also recommends considering medication--that can help immensely and can take effect more quickly than therapy. For medication, as with therapy, it can take some trial and error to find the right medication and the right dosage, so it’s important that she not get too discouraged. If she can find a good psychiatrist and therapist, that should help her out enormously. If her marriage doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean that she’s the same as your parents, either! Every marriage is different, and it could be that she and her husband weren’t compatible and weren’t happy, and if that’s the case, then separation might be for the best. Encourage her to look at what would make her happy, rather than maintaining a marriage just for the sake of being married or out of fear of “failure.”

Aaron hopes you find a way to get through this, and wants to remind you that he’s always here if you need him!

[blackdahlia-parker]

Snowstorm -Peter Parker x female reader

Summary: there’s a big snowstorm on the last day before the Christmas holidays which leaves the bus broken down and only Peter and y/n remain on it. As they both get closer to one another, What happens between them on a cold winters day?

Content: fluff ☽

You watched as Peter ran for his life to catch the bus home, through the bus’ back window. He was late again. Poor Peter began to stumble in the snow on the way. It was the last day of school before the Christmas holidays and the snow was everywhere. You were surprised that it hadn’t caused an avalanche somewhere or other. Cars were breaking down in the school parking lot and you hoped this wouldn’t happen to your cronky, old bus as you really needed to get home tonight. You were leaving for Switzerland in the morning to spend Christmas there with some relatives.You couldn’t afford to lose sleep to get up early for your long flight from Queens.

Much to your dismay, as the bus was turning out of the parking lot it came to a halt. Everyone huffed impatiently. The bus driver seemed impatient too. You could tell that this had been happening all through the day. On the other hand Peter Parker was relieved as he stopped running and signaled the driver to let him on the bus. You could see Peter scrambling on in a hurry. As if the bus was going to go somewhere anytime soon. The bus driver shook his head and laughed lightly “late again Parker? Well doesn’t really matter today, it doesn’t look like we’re going anywhere kid.” “Yeah....” Peter replied catching a glance at all the snow from the window of the bus as he bearly noticed this amount of it at first. Too focused on the bus leaving without him, as opposed to his other surroundings. The bus was still on stop as he went to find a seat. There was two empty seat in front of you, he stared at you for a moment before snapping back into reality and sitting down.

Peter was a bit of a dork, and by far the brainiest in your physics class. You always seem to be going for the popular guys because your friends believe that you have a reputation to hold, but secretly Peter was your type. Awkward but cute. As he sat in front of you his curls bounced a little on top of his head. His hair was covered in little snow droplets from outside. It was a beautiful sight. Lately you’ve just been noticing little things about Peter and god, he was so much more attractive in your eyes, than the confident guys. There he was sitting in his oldie worldie flannel and oversized sweater and corduroy trousers. His sneaker laces untied and his backpack slung over his shoulders high up on his back.

Finally after about 25 minutes when the driver turned the keys in the ignition again, the bus rumbled but started. Lots of cheering came from the very back, “Weheyy”. Couldn’t they just shut up and let the man concentrate? Peter remained quiet though as always. Peter hadn’t realised that you’d been looking at him as he was the one infront. But you came to his mind yet again and he turned to admire the way your hair flowed down gracefully. And the beautiful side angle of your face as you focused on the white snow outside the window. You looked back towards the front as you realised someone was looking. Not being disappointed when you saw Peters face looking back at you. Did he like you? “Hi?” You smiled but also questioned his staring action. His eyes went wide as you spoke. His expression changed from a kind of daydream to a ‘shocked that you’d caught him’ look “umm h-hi” he replied hurriedly as he turned his head quickly to look in another direction. He internally grumbled at himself, worried he’d come across as rude by cutting the conversation short. “You alright Pete?” You questioned him. “Yeah....y-yeah f-fine thanks”. He replied all too quickly and blushed. You blushed too but Peter was clueless. He had no idea that a girl like you would ever like him so he was embarrassed by the fact that you’d caught him looking. God you were gorgeous. Peter had had a crush on you for ages. He daydreams a lot about you in class and just about anywhere really...in church and at the most inappropriate times. But he couldn’t help it. He was lovesick, starstruck. But he had to accept that you would never look at him the way he looked at you. His colossal fear was rejection, so he’d just admire from afar. Although he couldn’t quite believe he had the chance to sit this close to you.

The bus was going good, getting everybody from one stop to another on all the different streets, dropping people off on the way. There was hardly no people left on the bus now. Just you and Peter and three others. You were pretty sure that the next stop was his. Yours was the furthest away from the school, at least another 20 minutes away. Just then the bus came to an abrupt stop and the engine sounds faded. And this wasn’t a stop. Great. The bus had been stuck for the last 10 minutes. The snow was worse on this street , and getting worse at that. It was falling down heavily form the dark grey sky. It was gonna be a full on storm. Just what you need for you flight in the early hours of the morning. The other three pupils got off the bus and assured th driver that it was fine for them to walk. He was on the phone trying to contact another driver so he just nodded at them while showing a thumbs up. Just you and Peter where left. Why was he waiting? Surely he could walk from here?

It was getting quite late now with all the delays it was around 5:30 and already getting dark because well ...it’s winter. Although you were inside the bus, the heater had also broken and you felt sharp cold needles on your skin. You began to get a bit frustrated as you needed to get home as soon as possible to pack and get a good nights sleep. If it’s still like this in the morning you might not even be able to make it to Switzerland. You rang your mom but she seemed to be stuck in it too, on the way back from work , so there was no way she could pick you up either. You must admit , Queens looked stunning in th snow. Rooftops of the high rise buildings were white. Along with the windows and the ground was covered. The tips of decorated pine trees were also white and the scene looked photograph worthy.

Peter was within walking distance from his flat where he lived with his aunt May but he couldn’t leave y/n alone on the bus with no lift. He felt sorry for you as he heard you talking to your mom on the phone. Looks like you’d be on this bus for a while. He considered offering you to walk back with him to his and May’s apartment before anything more disastrous happened with they storm coming down thick. That is why he waited for you on the bus, to finish talking on the phone so he could ask. He was really nervous. You seemed nice enough. He’d spoken to you before in class but you were way out of his league so this was just a friendly offer for you to come back to his place, and nothing more. But then he remembered something and then couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he’d just remembered. Aunt May was out for the night tonight so it would be just him and y/n. Oh god! He panicked a bit inside but he had to offer. He’d feel guilty if he didn’t.

Peter was still on the bus as you got off the phone. He looked nervous for what reason you don’t know. But then unexpectedly he picked up some confidence and turned to you to ask a lovely question. But that sudden burst of confidence didn’t stop his awkward stuttering along the way as his words came out of his poor mouth all at once. “W-would you m-maybewannawalk home l-I mean walk back t-to myplacewithme...f-from here? It’s-it’s not very f-far?”

You knew that you had to be back as early as possible tonight to pack, but as it is now that wasn’t going to happen anyway. How could you ever say no to adorable Peter Parker. You could just imagine him in tears if your reply was ‘no’. The image was too much to bear. He’s just so sweet. “Yes please, that would be lovely. But are you sure?” Oh my god....she just said yes....she just said yes, he thought to himself. He couldn’t quite believe it. A girl like her. But it was , just to my house, just to my apparent...he told himself to calm down as it was no big deal. “What-? Um good, yeah um great , it’s fine my aunt wouldn’t mind. Are you sure you want to though?” He messed up his words big time. You giggled and he looked extremely embarrassed. “Yes Peter, I’m sure that I want to come, only now I was saying that it would be lovely. It’s not as if I’ve just agreed to do a bungee jump off a cliff or something” “A-alright and y-yeah m-maybe not...I’m glad you didn’t decide to do a jump. Anyway, y-yay okay then...l-let’s go” you and Peter got off the bus and waved to the driver who was still trying to solve things, then you replied to Peters previous comment about not wanting you to do a jump. “Aww...are you concerned about my safety Pete?” He blushed a little too much for his liking. He decided to be bold and lie. “N-no” but it was the wrong decision. “Harsh” you mocked, mouth wide open. Peter thought you were being serious and got worried so he took it all back and admitted the truth. “No, no, I’m sorry y/n...I didn’t mean it like that....of course I would care if you hurt yourself bungee jumping. I would be concerned about your safety. I was just talking stupid. I’d hate to see you falling. I couldn’t stand to see your pretty face all bleeding and hurt. No, no, no!” He was rambling like Peter does best. But then he panicked, the last bit came out too quickly. He hoped you didnt hear. He was internally shouting at himself. Scared that that would have creeped you out, calling you such a word. Maybe you’d think that he’d been staring at your face a little too often.

Peter had said all these dramatic words about you hurting yourself, in the middle of the street. Snow crunch beneath your feet. You wanted to give Peter a hug for this. But your face couldn’t stay serious. You couldn’t keep it in any longer and just burst out laughing. “Phaaa”. He looked a bit offended “I’m sorry peter, it is really nice to know that you care about me, but honestly there was no need to take me so seriously. You weren’t being harsh....it was just a joke. And you do know that I’m not even planning on doing a bungee jump anytime soon right? Like you went off on a whole rant about not wanting me to do it. But that’s really cute. But the pretty face bit though? Did you mean it?”

“Thank goodness” Peter sighed in relief. “Um....what pretty face?.....” his eyes widened in realisation as he recalled what he had said about you. “Oh um....well y-yes....you are a pretty face.....I-i mean yes your face is pretty....like your....eyes, y-your hair and your umm n-nose” ‘What?!’ He thought to himself, as the word ‘nose’ accidentally coming from his mouth, even he thought to himself that liking a nose was a bit....different put it like that. You went a bit red at his words and smiled at him. You decided to mock him. “Www...Petey...I think your the one that’s falling...not me. And your not even doing the jump either” you nudged him as you both approached his appartment in Queens. “Shut up” he gushed, not looking directly at you. But the truth is you were falling too. But then he actually did fall...well slipped....up the steps to his apparent....you giggled as he made an angry expression toward the path that was covered in whiteand with that, he ‘accidentally’ grabbed your hand to ‘stabilise himself’ and you just went along with it , holding onto his hand actually felt cozy and nice, speckles of snow were falling from the sky....it almost looked and felt romantic until he grabbed the key from his pocket and slipped again, falling for real this time, you saw it in slow motion and his hand slipped away from yours and he smacked down on his butt in the snow by the door he was about to unlock. But we all know that the actual cause wasn’t the snow....it was tripping over his own foot ....and falling for you of course ;) He looked embarrassed and grumpy while he got up ....and you laughed you head off. He wasn’t hurt at least. And he finally opened the door leading to the complex from outside. You both scrambled in from the cold but it wasn’t that warm inside.

You both walked up the shared access stairs until you reached his apartment’s door. He unlocked it, and you both walked in....the warmth finally hitting your ‘pretty face’ :) ......

A/N: I am intending to do a part two if anyone wants to see what happens, this is my first fanfic so I hope you like it. Thank you to anyone who reads it. 🖤

[fragmentedink-archived]

oops nik odds 🤷‍♀️

UR VALID ANON

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Nik’s full name is Nikolas Isaac Arwaine

Nikolas means ‘victory of the people’ Isaac means ‘laughter’ and Arwaine, I took the Celtic god of the dead Arwan and added a few letters :)

It was chosen bec when i orginally was writing him, he was inspired by Nikolai Lant/sov in Grisha.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

Nik had,,, an interesting childhood. HIs father wasn’t,,, outwardly abusive, perse. But he did lock his kids in places to get out (he broke nates hand bec nate wouldnt stop drawing). His mom taught him how to lie and his parents gave him whatever he wanted besides the one thing he Really wanted

He has fond memories of Adrien and his ohter brothers taking him to the ocean. He had fond memories of hanging out with Nate in Nates studio. One of his fave memories is Nate putting face paint on his face when he was a lil birb

A bad memory he has is getting so afraid of not being able to get out of a room, he threw himself into a panic attack and he was shaking and crying so hard that his dad was so damn disappointed in him that he didnt talk to Nik for a Long Time

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

he had Three (3) sibs. Blake, Adrien and Nate. 

He has a fairly easy going relationship with Blake and Nate. Tho he butts heads with Adrien a Lot. Blake and Nate’s relationship with Nik is kinda the same growing up, tho his and Adrien’s change. Nik used to idolize Adrien, now they just fight all the time

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

Nik,,, had more superficial friends than Friend Friends. People liked his money and his influence more than they liked him. Tho he is a very infectious person, so he probably does have friends, theyre just awful people who are flighty when things go Wrong

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

y’know I think Nik does like animals!! he likes all kinds of animals and would like a pet snake or spider but IM NOT GIVING HIM EITHER. He tries to pet Bay’s pet kitten but she claws the hell out of him :(

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?the main requirement that Nik has is that he doesn’t like his food touching. He doesnt mind mixing his foods, like hot dogs and mac and cheese, but he doesn’t like them touching. He is also allergic to strawberries ;-;

13. What is their least favourite food?

peanut butter

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Nik is actually very good at cooking!! Most of the time he hates it unless hes making something Big or baking something with Cameron, who stress bakes. Cameron secretly likes his cooking but he wont admit it

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

oh hell yeah!! Nik loves taking nudes pictures and sending them to cameron. His cell phone (if he had one) would be full of random pics of people and of places. MUCH PICTURES OF THE OCEAN. He has a bunch saved on his phone and he has some in photo albums and such

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

mmmm i think nonfiction would bore him, especially for industrial revolution area. I think he would actually really like scyfi and action. Absolutely would love anything that was just fast and action packed. he would fucking LOVE deadpool

Nik: if he backtalks he gets his head cut off but he comes back from the dead. if i backtalk im just DEAD. not fair :(

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Nik absolUTELY has a temper. Its quick, its hot and he often makes an ass of himself. He’s not patient. He has,,, some patience, I guess. Where it counts. But it’s nowhere near as long as Nate’s.

When he loses his temper people get wounded or just DEAD. or he just makes an ass out of himself and has to apologize

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Nik has a somewhat good memory. HIs long term memory is much better tho. He’s much more visual and is better with faces.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

NIk has the most juvinle sense of humor lol. But he also has a really fucking dark sense of humor when it calls for it. If someone is bleeding out, and they deserved it, hed laugh

well. he certainly thinks hes funny

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Nik,,, doesn’t really get sad. He gets pissed. He tries hiding his tears, and he tries to not cry. He shoves negative emotions down so much (which is actually why hes such an angry dude :/)

WHen he does break down and cry Cam,,, tries to be comforting with him. They can get surprisingly soft

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

mmmm it would depend on the fear. Like if it was as Genuine fear (like his is) he wouldn’t tease them. But like,,, if it was something stupid hed absoluTELY tease them for it. He would get kinda protective about it, and would tell whoever it was bothering them to fuck off and leave them alone

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

DOES NIK DRINK LMAOOO YES YES HE DOES

Nik is mostly a cheerful drunk and hes a fucking idiot while hes drunk. Also is very slutty when hes drunk (tho when isnt he???)

Nik: hungover? I don’t know her. i just start drinking againMe: Nik pls

When ohter people are drunk hes,,, pretty relaxed about it and help them from making an ass out of themselves (tho tbh he would absolutely record them being an idiot). He would try to pry someone off him if they tried to undress him

Nik: yes yes i know i am hot. But unfortunately my conscious would not sit well if i took advantage of the situation :(

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

Nik doesn’t wear underwear. 

Tho he has been known to try on lacy panties ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nik: don’t judge they’re surprisingly comfy and make my ass look GREAT

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

ok Nik doesn’t have guilty pleasures. hes not going to feel guilty for likeing the things he does. His total unguilty pleausres is trashy television shows. He lovesss binge watching say yes to the dress for fucking hours while sprawled out on the couch eating oreos and stoned

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Nik,,,, is not fond of reading. He is Dyslexic and he doesn’t like sitting still or being forced to focus. Tho,,, i think he might read, depending on what he was reading. 

fiction, absolutely fiction

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

mmmmmmmmmm messaging and emails. Much better bec he can read them better. Tho, he does like letters every now and then. Especially if theyre like,,, looove letters 

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

He is a slutty, slutty bisexual, my dude. Nik has a hand kink. he finds slender hands attractive. he likes,,,, cool eyes?? if that makes sense?? He finds people who are kinda,,, not,,, cold cold but cool and calmness attractive. That cool confidence, like a sheet of almost frozen water.

He finds delicate features attractive. Like fine bones, not brashness. Sharp as glass cheekbones, slender hands. Tall, not,,, too much muscle. (am i describing Cameron? MAYBE SO) NIk, upon meeting Cameron: oh no hes not

mentally, he finds confidence attractive. he finds assertiveness and dominance attractive. He likes someone who can command a fucking presence. He finds passion attractive. Someone that is so passionate and so devoted to something/one attractive

What does he like? he likes someone that will meet him halfway, who will want him, and that he will be enough for them. He has a bit of an inferiority complex  and he thinks that people will just get tired of him and he wants- he NEEDS- someone that he will be enough for, that they arent going to just bolt when things get rough. Which,,, is interesting bec Cameron,,, is Cameron and hes going to want to control the situation who is afraid fo feeling anything for anyone

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Nik,,,, acknowledges that there are gods. But i would not call him religious. If he were in modern day, he might MIGHT be spiritual but he will joke and be like dude, im going to hell.

He thinks of religious people, and nonreligious people the same way. Believe what you want to believe, but don’t shove it down my throat

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

A lot of people see him as a lost cause, as some druggie who is going nowhere other than down. Some think that he’s just,,, lost. HIs dad sees him as his Son who just needs tough love and the right pressure to Honor His Family

Nik,,, sees himself as a hot guy, whos shallow and with money. People dont like him, they like his money and what he can do for them. 

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

mmmmmm Nik doesn’t like many formal occassions. He thinks theyre boring and people are fake as fuck. He Hates black tie wear and he only agrees to wear a tie if Cam uses it on him later ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

he hates chit chat but he does fucking love gossip. He’ll find a couple of people to hang out with and get the Dish

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

his lighter. Its a flip lighter with engravings on it, that Nate got him. He uses it when he gets anxious. That,,, is actually the reason Nate got it for him, tho Nate did not say that.

If nate said anything about Nik having any kind of disorder, Nik would shut him down instantly.

Tho, Nik does take it everywhere with him

[sentiniel-butitgetsworse]

rwde

highly unpolished, awful explanation, but scene-by-scene commentary of unbridled annoyance and rage. read at your own peril.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

so the episode opens with a fight scene. sweet! cool! but its so badly staged, sometimes you have no idea what is happening the first time round. it’s crowded and messy, not a very good look? im talking about grim being hid behind ice while the camera is panning and hitting some trees when we’re literally panning out to show someone else in focus DESPITE THE FACT THEIR MITIGATION SHOULD BE FRONT AND CENTER TO LET US KNOW IT HAPPENED CLEARLY. legit! there’s the one where nora shoots at a grim and the shell explodes into black dust and the grim is gone. did it die? grim dont usually die by fuckin smoke but this one sure fuckin did i guess ‘cause i literally dont know what happened to it? no recoil and fall, just deleted and hid behind some 2d-lookin smoke! sure! why not?!?!!!?

s/o to the white/rose speedy thing that had no reason to be there and yet they did it

---

then there was the “adam ruins everything” segment where he literally just murders? everyone? like i get that its off screen for the younger audiences but also like he fucking murders everyone. literally! did i miss something? is it a good tactic now? did they think it was very villainous of him to murder people??????? god bring me back to the beginning when he actually has a good character reason for why faunus would follow him into revolution because this adam taurus is so bad he’s worth flushing down the drain for.

“tHe BeLlAdOnnA nAme HaS bRoUgHt Me NoThINg BUt gRiEf”

also that opening shot where adam is proud. jfc what? is he even part of salem’s crew anymore? was the Adam short supposed to tell us he isnt? is anyone reviewing this and thinking 100% it’s a good idea?????

wait why is this scene even second? that’s a really awkward position to put it in the whole episode? honestly? like it kinda underlines how awkward a villain adam really is; it has no build up, no reason to be there. sure, the audience is hungry to know what happened to adam, but there’s legitimately no reason to put it as the second scene in the episode, there’s no context??????

callout post for this scene because its literally just voicelines while panning slowly through the bottom floor of the room. and the blood only shows up later??? also is the white fang only comprised of like 7 people now??? isnt it a globally feared organization (ie. isis)????

---

there are two bodyguards for the train. two? two. and for some reason they’re asking for dlc to provide more/personal protection? hello, did i miss something? anyone thought it was a good idea? what class of transportation did they get? if it was dangerous enough that on a train ride they’d need people to guard the journey it wouldn’t even be built there? or what, did they get a max-luxury, train ride with insurance kinda deal? and it had two (2) bodyguards? two (2)!!!!! or was it in the middle of the road??? i may have enough context for the environment but none on economy of this place i swear

“hey ladies we’ll protect you wink” jaune and lie ren literally sitting one (1) feet away not saying anything, could be everyone’s moment to justify “hey we’re literally huntsman despite being kids, we know what we’re doing” but qrow has to step in and apparently his  credentials would ward off some bodyguards???? like “hi yes sorry im the dad of literally 8 kids, i can protect them all” not a convincing argument here bud

illia deserves more time on screen and also closure because neptune fuckin hit on her and that’s obviously enough to change scenes right

also neptune being “you really gonna let her go? l:/” feels like he’s salty instead of wukong tbh; wukong feels/sounds like the literal i can do anything kinda guy -- which he is in mythology and probably in universe (except for intelligence i guess, despite the fact he literally outsmarts his opponents through a lot of his mythos) so i dont mind him being let off the hook, but any hesitation implied during this scene? weak

illia building up to kiss but hugging blake instead, but blake kissing wk on the cheek straight up on camera yo really

---

blake emos in the corner and because its queued up right after the wk/neptune scene its not a far fetch to say she’s emo-ing about wk but turns out its yang? would’ve preferred the setup to be stronger (blake watches yang get on the bed and feels sad/regret, zoom in on yang’s arm to show the audience but not tell them)

i give props to blake being shown “wait leme get that for you” real out the way though, because it underlines properly that blake feels ridiculously bad and wants to do something to make up for yang. good characterization/storytelling!

then they break it w/ like a 30s scene of yang and blake making up almost immediately with a “oh everyone will feel better about it soon :)” BRUH SHE GUILTY BOUT YOUR FUCKIN ARM BITCH CUT BACK TO REALITY DAMN the running away part is sincerely legitimate but also??? blake should be a/ more anxious than that and b/ be more worried about???? yang’s arm??????? for real m8

---

“dont let anyone else die” a/ assumes the bodyguard trying to defend the train literally died and b/ also really fell flat? as a line? get something better...????

genuine dislike for the tactic of qrow fights the Big Boss and everyone gets a handful of weaklings; to stall? possible. but also just feels like a bad tactic overall? also their animations always look like they’re doing an rpg battle; one ability used + animation! then return to original position. that’s a big fallacy of fighting monty oum style and i genuinely hope they recognize it soon

“YOU’RE ATTRACTING THE GRIM TO THE PASSENGERS” ??? i get the part where leading them to the back of the train may help (having them all divided in sections [grim + hunters, passengers, front of train respectively] may help but how does automation attract grim again? like, turrets shooting at them would do so if they’re in range, and they all came from the back so they’d move along towards the middle, but also they wouldn’t continue moving forward? i guess? what im saying is they should really just be around jnxr + oscar instead of way forward in front

when the bodyguard tried to get into the train and barely made it, that SNAP sound was just. raw. i felt that. good! i was very scared/horrified/eager to see if they’d literally break off his arm and he’d just be lying there in a pool of blood or something in shock. he didnt because of aura and i don’t know what to say because a/ it definitely wouldn’t be a bruise and b/ if he had aura and was in the bodyguarding business, wouldn’t he also have a proper semblance to fight off grim most likely? and he aint using it so why he so confident for dlc earlier the heck

bumblebee looks back to the carriage and one lady’s just with her baby like a cheap heartstrings tug

“WHY WON’T YOU TELL US THAT” yang’s line here assumes that they’ve asked about it before and ozpin/oscar refused to answer. i disagree? i think it works better with “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US THAT?” because it definitely was a factor they’d all have to take into account with regards to travelling w/ it in the first place. which they are. tbh yang (and jaune in the op) has every right to be mad at him real talk but also change that line please it bothered me so much

---

blake sees the hooded adam figure and honestly idk what kind of omen that is but it feels/looks weird. another no context scene i guess. tbh id take that one out of this episode entirely and shuffle it next episode probably. (and put the adam ruins everything scene at the back of the episode)

grim stop chasing because tunnel. and then they chase the train through the tunnel really slowly? feels weird but okay i fuckin guess; these are just the things im willing to pass on

ren and jaune look at each other like “lets do it” but why does ren? look up? like there’s no extra effects there, its not visible that he’s trying really hard to extend his semblance out. no cool semblance-using eye powers there. it feels kinda cheap for him to do that w/o any additional highlights that he’s activating his aura? also creepy

OH THERE’S THAT SCENE. yang starts off the Big Fight Montage with grabbing the grimm by its horns and then flips it around. cool move! then she promptly punches it up and closes her eyes. what? tbh that was ridiculously weak after a stupid good setup. budget aside i’d say there was an opportunity for a focused choreograph there; instead of a punch up, use a bullet fire up, keeping the enemy’s front half up in the air for a longer period of time. run under, punch/kick the underbelly, bounce off to the side, bullet fire off the side of the train. 

blake cutting off the tail was a good move. rt studios deciding to change shots when the enemy has the same pose, so that we cut to ruby fighting the same kind of grimm is not. it breaks clarity for the viewers, that’s not how matching cuts should work tbh

these big grimm dying in a couple of hits are also just? kinda weak-feeling. like these characters got stronger from rpg levels, but not from actual combat training and learning to outsmart your enemies, or upgrading your weapons. feels cheap.

ruby bouncing around in attempt to kill these grim is kinda cute? which may be what they were trying to do? but also not well choreographed i guess. it doesn’t flow too well, just bounces in seperate spikes.

when weiss redirects the flying grimm to ruby, it feels like its? not clear what she did. was it a semblance/shield? colour that blue, we know she uses white but white on white doesn’t work out well. ruby’s scythe sinking into the grimm also doesn’t work great because you get confusion when the shot is supposed to show it sink into the grimm, but you cant see the scythe blade sink into it. like you could only get it from context after watching it that she sent the grimm flying by doing the above, but dont recognize the action in the moment.

callout post to yang and blake fuckin shooting at nothing when there’s a clear path/shot to ruby and qrow’s big monster.

fireball just kinda looked cheap. there wasn’t a long breathy build up, and the fireball just feels way too fast (camera or distance?); reasonable that qrow would be hit by it, but cheap-feeling in the sense that it shouldn’t have happened/it felt unfair, that it happened. he should’ve gotten knocked on his ass by power/strength and being caught off guard, and it felt like more like “oh no he got knocked down! D:”

HHHHHH WEISS ICE SKATES TO THE GRIM BUT ITS NOT LIKE YOU PAY ATTENTION BECAUSE SOMETHING ELSE CALLS FOR IT AND THEN SHE LEAPS UP TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE GRIM. SHE’S WHITE, THE BACKGROUND IS WHITE, YOU LOSE SIGHT OF HER, I LEGIT THOUGHT SHE VANISHED BEHIND THE GRIMM BUT IT WOULDNT MAKE SENSE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. IN THE NEXT SHOT YOU MAY SEE HER AT THE LEFT BUT HER SEMBLANCE IS BLACK TO MAKE HER STAND OUT MORE BUT THEY DIDNT DO THAT FOR THE PREVIOUS SHOT WHY????????

“YANG!” yang promptly bounces off a grimm that isnt shown to have hurt or is dead from the fight and runs off to the bigger grimm as called. understandable, but the other grimm? is just? there? not dead? not doing anything???

also the we need to ground it idea feels really cheap? the grimm isn’t a problem because of its wings, it’s a problem because it’s being dealt with by one (1) person who decides it’s best fighting it on one (1) front vs two on a train. there’s so many ways to tackle this guy! we know qrow’s capable of jumping onto it, but all he’s doing is that, instead of moving to the other side and maybe catching it off guard?????? qrow, fight fucking better.

s/o to qrow/ruby pulling off a move together, cute but also they should’ve been slicing it at different points of the grimm, because they would’ve just died right away if they both went on the same plane? or anywhere near each other? weapons are fucking dangerous we remember right?

GRIMM LAUNCHES A FIREBALL AND IT GOES ON AN UPWARDS TRAJECTORY. IT DOESNT AND INSTEAD GOES IN AN ARC WHEN IT NEVER NEEDED TO. HERE’S HOW YOU COULD DERAIL THE TRAIN. FIREBALL, MOUNTAIN, AVALANCHE/ROCKSLIDE, TRAIN DESTRUCTION. OLD GRANDMA THAT STUMBLES OUT OF THAT/APPEARS BEHIND THE TEAM AFTERWARDS IS MORE IMPRESSIVE FOR HAVING ADAPTED TO THAT FROM INSIDE THE TRAIN THAN TO JUST SIT THERE AND POP OUT LATER LIKE xD lmao wassup yall?

---

yeah thats it and here’d be the adam ruins everything scene right before the opening but we cant get what we want so w/e

[btsmuttin]

One Shot//Halloween Party

Summary: After countless demands from jungkook for you to stay home while he goes to a party, what happens when you surprisingly show up anyways.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut(Fingering, Rough Sex)

Word Count: 2.5k

Authors Note: This is my first time writing a one shot, so have mercy on me lol.

.........

 As you lay in bed, the sounds of kids yelling “trick or treat”, dogs barking, and laughter are all you can hear outside through the thin windows of your apartment.

Not just your apartment, but your boyfriends as well. Your boyfriend, Jungkook, who was no where around at the moment, due to the promises he made to his best friend, to help and host a big Halloween party that they were having at a fraternity house, right outside of college campus.

His “demands” for you to stay home were reasons being, he didn’t want anything happening to you and because the party “isn’t your scene”, that there would be drinking, smoking, and hundreds of people there in general doing god knows what. All things that didn’t really fit your description of a comfortable and fun environment, so you decided to listen to him.

After hours of sitting around in front of a television, thinking about  jungkook obsessively, you decide to contact your best friend Maggie,(who surprisingly wasn’t at any parties) out of boredom to come sit at your place for a while. You ignored her concerned tone over the phone, telling her that everything was fine and that you just needed some company.

After a while, there were a couple of knocks on your front door, and you opened it to be faced with Maggie’s bright smile, and a big bag in her hand. As she made her way inside of the apartment, your eyes never left the bag as you closed the door and followed her over to the couch.

“What’s in there?” You confusingly ask.

“My camera and some costumes, I figured since we’re going to be sitting in here for Halloween, we might as well have a photoshoot. She wiggles her brows, while dumping everything out of the bag onto the couch. She catches on to your dumbfounded expression.

“Don’t worry, we’ll keep it quiet, since jungkook is sleeping I’m guessing.”

“Jungkook isn’t even home, he’s at a party, I’m just shocked because I wasn’t expecting all of this” You refer to the costumes while lightly laughing.

She stops what she’s doing and looks up at you. “What do you mean he’s at a party? And why aren’t you there with him?” She begins to question.

You didnt blame her for her surprised reaction. You and jungkook were inseparable, and went almost everywhere together. 

“Some fraternity Halloween party right outside of campus, he’s helping his friend host it, and he told me to stay home” you explain and can’t help but to roll your eyes at the annoyance of it all.

Maggie stands up in front of you with her arms crossed. “The big annual Halloween party?! And I’m sorry but what do you mean he told you”

“Exactly what I said” you sit back on the couch.

Maggie looks at you, and stands there for a while as if she’s thinking hard on something.

After moments of nothing being said, she finally breaks the silence. “Well now you definitely have to go, because you’re not his little bitch” she says and you simply laugh in response.

“No way, now let me see the costumes you brought” you try changing the subject.

“Yes ,you can see the costume that you’re going to wear to that party, and I have the perfect one for you.” She pulls out a red dress, a devil horn headband, and thigh high boots.

“The devil...known for breaking rules.” she winks. “Just like you’re about to do”

“No maggie” you complain.

You told yourself and Maggie over and over that you refused to show up to that party, especially in that costume that just screams “slut” and looks absolutely uncomfortable, but hours later you found yourself in the passenger seat of Maggie’s car, full of confidence in the same exact costume, with you hair and make up done.

Maggie who was dressed as a “sexy cowgirl” never went wrong with manipulation, and the whole car ride was spent with her telling you how good you looked and that you were going to “show him.”

Maggie pulls into the huge parking lot of the frat house, and she already yelling of excitement, when she’s sees people she’s friends with. You both walk make your way up the sidewalk that leads to the frat house front door.

 When you enter the frat house, the smell of marijuana instantly flies up your nose. Girls are in provocative costumes, guys are playing beer pong, while girls cheer them on, obviously looking for attention, and when you look behind you, Maggie has already disappeared.

Great.

 You already regret coming here, and as much as you want to turn back around and run back home, you think about what Maggie said about being jungkooks bitch, and decide to further yourself inside of the party.

 Jungkook is no where in sight, and you start to realize people looking and admiring you. Some guys even go to the extreme of whistling at you.

 “Haven’t seen you around here before” a male voice interrupts you from your thoughts, and you turn to face him. He has blondish/brownish hair, about the same height as you, and he’s wearing a T-shirt with Greek letters on it, which makes you believe he’s part of this fraternity.

 “Oh...erm yeah I’ve never really been to any of these fraternity parties” you state.

 “Who did you come with?” He questions.

 “My friend Maggie, but she has disappeared” you say while looking around, praying that you see her. Not that there was anything wrong with the guy talking to you, but you hated small talk, especially with strangers, and the way he was nervously looking at you up and down was making you feel odd.

“Well my name is jimin, I can show you around if you’d like.. introduce you to a couple of people” he offers.

You look around once more to see if Maggie is around so that you’ll have an excuse to run off. But you don’t see her anywhere. You slowly start to realize what you came here for, to have fun, not to look like a lost puppy. You know you’re best off going with jimin than wandering around the party looking like an idiot.

 “Sure, I’d love that” you say to jimin with a smile. “My name is y/n by the way.”

 “Alright y/n follow me” he says, while making his way over to a circle of people, with you right behind him. The group of people look like they just got finished with a game. Jimin introduces you to all of them, all of them welcoming you in. The females give you countless compliments, and the males look at you with open mouths, which causes you to blush nervously.

 Jimin takes a seat, and pats the seat incredibly close to his, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, once you take the seat. As much as you want to pull away, you don’t want to look like an asshole in front of all of the people you just met, so you just stay still. It’s not that you feel uncomfortable, you just feel guilty, knowing jungkook, your boyfriend, was in the same house and could see you any minute.

 “So what game are you all playing” jimin asks the group, and they all yell for beer pong, while giggling. Most of them are obviously drunk already.

 You’re not too sure about playing, because you’re not in a drinking mood, so you stay seated next to jimin, while others set up the table.

 After a couple of minutes of small talk, Jimin turns to face you, giving you his full attention.

“Your costume is very nice by the way” he compliments you with a smile.

“Thank y-

“I agree” a male voice says behind you, cutting you off and it doesn’t take you long to realize who it is.

Fuck.

“Also have you ever heard of personal space?!” he says to jimin while flinging his arm off of your shoulders with his hand. He does not look or sound the least bit of happy.

“Jungkook what is your problem?” jimin says standing up. He obviously has no idea you’re his girlfriend.

“Let’s go” jungkook ignores jimins and  grabs your hand, lifting you up, and you sling it back out, crossing your arms.

“Maybe I want to stay” your voice cracks, and you don’t sound as demanding as you want at all.

“Y/n...let’s go” his voice gets calmer, pleading with you, and when you look around, you notice the whole group is looking at you guys, so you decide to comply with jungkook to avoid causing a scene. You grab his hand and follow him through the party and out the front door to his car. You’d have to call Maggie later to check up on her.

The whole car ride back home is filled with silence. The only sounds being heard are your deep breaths. When he pulls into the apartments, he parks the car, and gets out without saying a word. You follow him up the stairs, and watch him unlock the front door and hold it open for you with a blank expression. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t turned on already for what was to come.

The moment jungkook closes the front door, he makes his way over to you, never losing eye contact as he corners you into the wall, with his head tilted as if he’s examining every piece of you.

“Y/n.....” he deeply whispers with a disagreeing tone and a sly smirk, while shaking his head at you.

His simple actions, have you feeling as if you may explode already. His calm, but cocky attitude, and demeaning yet lustful eyes makes it hard to breathe as you lean against the wall with his body so close to yours, you’re nearly touching.

“I’m pretty sure I remember telling you to stay home..did I not?” He whispers while rubbing his hands up your thighs, slowly lifting the dress. His cool breath hits your neck, and your only response is a quick moan, as your eyes flutter closed.

“Answer me” he demands, and you comply.

“Yes...yes you did” you stutter, as he begins to play with the hem of your panties, sliding them down your legs. His fingers begin to rub circles across your folds, and you’re nearly embarrassed on how easy they glide, due to how wet you are already.

“Then why were you at the party? Especially in this” he drags the word, referring to your costume, as he looks down to get a better look.

“Fuck... where did you even get this?” He asks while continuing to glide his fingers between your legs.

As you try to explain, you feel his long fingers enter you, cutting your words off. He wastes no time teasing you, as he pumps them in and out of you at a fast pace. Your knees immediately feel weak so you grip onto his shoulders for support as your head falls back into the wall, while your mouth lets out uncontrollable moans. When you look down , you can see his dick bulging against the front of his jeans, begging to come out.

As he pumps his fingers even faster, you force your shaky hands out towards his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them, letting them fall to the floor so he’s left in nothing but his boxers. Once again his fingers stop you from your actions and you bring your shaky hands back to his shoulders gripping tightly.

“I’m going to cum” you whimper.

He curls his fingers inside of you, and pulls them out right at your brink.

“Not just yet babygirl...take this dress off” he demands while doing the same, taking off his shirt, and sliding his boxers down, stepping out of them along with his jeans that are pooled at the bottom of his feet. His dick springs up, the veins are very visible and his tip is extremely red, making you even more wet.

You need him. Now.

Jungkook admires your body as you slide the tight dress off and unsnap your bra, exposing everything to him, as he does in return considering the fact that you were now both completely naked.

When he makes his way closer to you, his lips connect with your neck, and his hands squeezes your hips before lifting you up effortlessly against the wall. You can feel his tip rubbing against you, and you wrap your legs tighter around his waist, letting him know you need him inside of you now.

Once he positions himself, he enters you completely, and your eyes roll back immediately.

“God baby... you’re so fucking wet” he groans, while rocking his hips into yours, guiding yours along with his.

You loved watching him this way. The way he loses control of himself ,while being inside of you. The way his head falls into your shoulders, when the pleasure is overwhelming, and how his lips form into a perfect O.

When his eyes meets yours they are dark, nearly black. Without warning he speeds up his pace drastically, fucking you relentlessly into the wall, without breaking eye contact.

“This is what happens when you don’t follow the rules” he grunts, pushing himself deeper inside of you, so that he was now hitting your gspot continuously.

The feeling of him getting harder, throbbing inside of you, was slowly bringing you to the edge. The pleasure so intense that you felt as if you may pass out.

“Please don’t stop” you whine, as your head fall back into the wall. The faster he moves, the more lost you become. You can’t move or speak as the pleasure shoots through your body. You know you’re going to cum any second.

“Cum for me baby..cum all over my dick” he demands, and that’s all it takes for you to let go.

“Y/N” He moans repeatedly while enjoying the feeling of you tightening around him. Your wetness is heard clearly in a mixture of sounds of his skin slapping against yours.

His thrusts start to get sloppier and slower and you begin to feel him twitch inside of you. Soon his cum shoots inside of you, and both of your bodies become weak.

He holds you up for a while after, both of you breathing heavily, trying to take back in your surroundings. When he slowly lets you go, you slide your back against the wall, slowly gliding to the floor, and he joins you.

“Did you learn a lesson?” he playfully asks. You nudge him and lean into his shoulder.

“Yeah that maybe I should disobey you more often” you say and he chuckles.

He stands up and offers a hand out to you, and you take it.

“I think we need a shower” he suggests while winking at you, and you follow him into the bathroom starting what you just finished all over again.

The end.

[toutorii]

Various Honoka HCS

Cause Im self indulgent 😌

⁃ So when Noka was a baby, neither her dad, Shirou or Daiki knew what the hell to do with her wings.

⁃ Her first word was "Daiai" which was exposed to be "Daiki"

⁃ Daiki would call Noka "baby bird" and mo one will tell me otherwise

⁃ He also called Shirou "buddy"

⁃ She would fly around and their dad would make Shirou chase her down. Cause by this point, Daiki had already “joined” AfO.

⁃ When Shirou and Noka were taken in by their uncle, he just slept and let her do whatever.

⁃ Their uncle, also known as Eraserhead, was a very kind guardian

⁃ He went to each of Shirou's ballet concerts, and did Noka's hair for picture day

⁃ If you looked through his search history it would be filled with "how to do a braid for beginners"

⁃ Aizawa bought Noka various art supplies and bought Shirou new shoes whenever they needed them

⁃ He also worried for his nephew, who went missing right before Noka and Shirou ended up in his custody

⁃ Didnt want Noka or Shirou to become heroes

⁃ Cause he didnt want to see the two children he practically raised to be hurt

⁃ But because of their ties to All for One, the government forced both of them to become heros to "prove" that they had severed their bonds with All for One

⁃ Shirou's dream was to become a professional dancer and Noka's was to become a professional artist

⁃ And Aizawa was not happy that the two lights in his life were torn from their dreams

⁃ And so Shirou got accepted into the hero program, in class 1-A

⁃ He chose the hero name Shifter

⁃ Cause he could shift into any organic form

⁃ When he got 3rd place at the sports festival, Noka ran around her uncle's apartment screaming with joy

⁃ Noka is literally his biggest fan

⁃ Noka's first friend was a small purple haired boy name Hitoshi Shinsou

⁃ So naturally, she called him Toshi

⁃ And she refused to call him anything else all throughout middle and high school

⁃ Shinsou and Noka have sleepovers all the time and you can't tell me otherwise

⁃ When people would tell Shinsou that his quirk was villainous, Noka would always speak up cause she knew Shinsou wouldnt contradict them

⁃ Noka is always like that

⁃ Speaking up for others and herself. And her smart mouth tends to get her in trouble

⁃ Shinsou would fuss over Noka's wings. Like if they were dirty or a few feathers were out of place, Shinsou would sit her down and fix her wings.

⁃ "Toshi, your inner mom is showing"

⁃ "Its not my fault you cant take proper care of your wings"

⁃ When she told Shinsou about her acceptance into U.A's med course, he couldn't have been prouder

⁃ Noka is actually the one who encouraged Shinsou to train with her uncle.

⁃ But before that lets talk about Noka's time at U.A. so far

⁃ She was first introduced to class 1-A during the first combat training

⁃ Healed everyone who got very minor injuries

⁃ At the USJ attack, Shigiraki deteriorated part of Noka's hip. But her extremely enhanced natural healing abilities stopped the deterioration

⁃ So she has this big ass scar on the back side of her left hip

⁃ She wanted to absolutely murder Shigiraki for letting the Nomu loose on her uncle

⁃ But she doesnt have any damaging fire power

⁃ So she just tried to heal her uncle's wounds the best she could

⁃ Nearly gets herself killed many times with her smart assery

⁃ And gives everyone around her a heart attack in the process

⁃ During the sports festival, she helped RG heal all the students

⁃ Reprimanded Deku for overusing OfA

⁃ Oh yeah, she learned about AfO and OfA from her time with All for One (A/N: please dont kill me im trying to not make her too op 😭😭)

⁃ Is kind of like to Deku like Recovery Girl is to All Might

⁃ So fast foward to the internships

⁃ She interns with another oc of mine, Snow

⁃ Who is a healer but with incredible attack powers

⁃ Coincidentally, Noka was patrolling Hosu when the nomus hit

⁃ She recieved Deku's distress signal and ran to the scene

⁃ She didnt attack the hero killer, but ran to help Native and made sure he didnt bleed out

⁃ The hero killer didnt bat a single eye at her, deeming her not a threat

⁃ In the end, she didnt harm Stain so her hero guardian? didnt have to take any blame for her actions

⁃ Noka however did get nearly ripped in half by a nomu, so she had to stay in the hospital with Todo and Deku

⁃ So— Summer training arc

⁃ She just looked at her class and said "fuck this" and flew over the whole forest

⁃ She actually beat the wild wild pussycats back to the camp

⁃ She got to know Kota, telling him how she never wanted to become a hero

⁃ Kota may or may not have developed a kiddie crush on her 😳

⁃ But anyways, when everyone else saw her all nice and refreshed, needless to say they were upset

⁃ Some more than others

⁃ *remembers Bakugou nearly blowing off Noka's face because she cheated*

⁃ Aizawa just smirking at his niece cause shes so much like her mother

⁃ "DAMMIT TAKAHASHI. YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE YOU CHEATER"

⁃ "They said to use our quirks. Its not my fault your quirk is too grounded"

⁃ "WHAT— YOU WANNA FIGHT—"

⁃ "No I wanna eat, goodbye—"

⁃ Focuses on her attack and the healing capabilities of her quirk

⁃ Let me set the scene

⁃ At the beginning of UA, our Noka could barely heal up a small cut

⁃ But now, she can close up major wound with little to no effort

⁃ P r o g r e s s people

⁃ N e ways

⁃ So when they do the haunted quirk thingy

⁃ Hairi and Noka are paired up, to their delight

⁃ But they aren't able to go into the forest before the attack happens

⁃ Apparently, the league came for Bakugou and Noka

⁃ Cause the "master" wanted his first nomu to return to him

⁃ But all Deku knew was "they are after Kacchan and the master's first Nomu"

⁃ Nobody knew who the first nomu was except for Noka

⁃ See, AfO took and gave Noka various quirks, eventually ending up with her current quirk(s)

⁃ He did this to Shirou and Daiki as well

⁃ But Shirou's body wasnt able to handle as many quirks, so AfO discarded him

⁃ Daiki was not aware that Noka was a target, Shigiraki knew he would object and purposely left him out of the loop

⁃ Eventually, Noka is cornered by Dabi

⁃ His fire power vastly out matches hers

⁃ But she puts up one hell of a fight

⁃ And Kurogiri took her before she woke up and fought back even more

⁃ So everyone was panicking when they couldnt find Noka

⁃ Aizawa was panicking them most

⁃ His precious niece was missing, no, taken by the league

⁃ The students had never seen their teacher so frazzled

⁃ The thing that broke Aizawa more was the look on Shirou's face when he told him that his baby sister was missing

⁃ His precious baby sister

⁃ His whole world

⁃ Shirou didnt go out of his room for days

⁃ He was there when they were to save Bakugou and Noka

⁃ All Might fought AfO, and won

⁃ But there was no sign of Noka

⁃ Shirou nearly tackled Bakugou, demanding, no, more like pleading for him to tell him where she was

⁃ Bakugou merely said "She's gone, and I dont know where she went"

⁃ The whole class was in a panic

⁃ Where was Noka? Was she hurt? Was she scared? Was she in danger?

⁃ And the question that hung on everyone's mind the most was

⁃ Is she alive?

⁃ The emptiness of Noka's desk was deafening

⁃ Their smart ass classmate was nowhere to be found

⁃ And they all felt guilty

⁃ But none more than Bakugou

⁃ For he was the last to see her alive so to speak

⁃ And her last words to him were "Forget about me ya big oaf, you hear me? I don't want you sulking, or I'll personally beat your ass."

⁃ Forget about her? How could he do that?

⁃ Noka was the only person who didn't put up with his bullshit

⁃ From day one she put him in his place

⁃ And honestly shes the closest thing to a sister he has

⁃ During the hero license exam, all of class 1-A decided that Noka would be really upset if they all sulked and failed their exams

⁃ But the fact that only Todoroki and Bakugou failed would make her fall into hysterics

⁃ When class 1-A met the big three, Mirio told them that Noka was strong and stubborn to a fault, so they shouldnt worry about things that arent in their control

⁃ To which they asked how he knew her

⁃ Apparently Shirou, Amajiki, and Mirio have all been friends since elementary school

⁃ So Amajiki and Mirio had been there a lot for many crucial parts of Noka's childhood

⁃ When the work studies started, Deku went on patrol with Mirio and Shirou, AKA Lemillion and Shifter

⁃ Shirou couldnt help but feel so much guilt crushing him when Eri jumped out of Deku's arms

⁃ Cause Eri reminded him of his little sister

⁃ Speaking of little sister

⁃ She refused to return to the league, so Shigiraki sold her to giran, who then took her to Overhaul

⁃ For the last 2 months, Noka had been experimented on by Kai Chisaki

⁃ In the mean time trying to protect Eri and building a loving friendship with the young girl

⁃ Ill talk about this another time

⁃ So skipping to when they save her

⁃ It was a total shock for them

⁃ To see this wingless, pale, frail, bandage wrapped girl

⁃ And even more so when she spoke

⁃ Not having that bite that their Noka had

⁃ But a softer, more broken voice replaced her normally boisterous and confident voice

⁃ In the big battle agains Chisaki, Noka got slammed against a wall

⁃ Which in normal circumstances would be fine, but with her body in such a week state it immediately cracked her ribs and spine

⁃ Ochako helped get her friend to the ambulance as quick as she could

⁃ Shirou saw a fluff of pale pink hair out of the corner of his eye

⁃ He immediately turned to run towards the medical stretcher, but was stopped

⁃ He kicked and screamed something along the lines of "THATS MY BABY SISTER. PLEASE LET ME SEE HER"

⁃ In the most broken voice you would ever hear

⁃ In the hospital, after Sir. Nighteye had passed, Deku, Kirishima, Amajiki, Shirou, Ochako, Tsu and Aizawa were all waiting anxiously for Noka's surgery

⁃ When all of a sudden the door explodes open and the nurses and doctors are shoved out by an invisible force of heat

⁃ Noka was using her ability to set herself aflame and be healed in the ashes

⁃ But no one knew wtf was going on cause she learned the trick at the Hassaiki hideout

⁃ So p a n i k

⁃ But after the doctors confirmed her stablility, they all went back to school

⁃ The whole class bursted into tears when they told them about Noka

⁃ Jirou, Kaminari, Momo and Mina all being the most emotionally impacted

⁃ Bakugou was almost crying witb relief but he disnt show jt

⁃ They weren't allowed to see Noka for a whole month

⁃ Only family were allowed

⁃ She was hard at work recovering and going through therapy and they didnt want to disturb her

⁃ But when they (Kirishima, Deku, Ochako, and Tsu) did visit, they were shocked

⁃ There was this soft spoken, trembling, woman, and this was after a month of intense therapy

⁃ They hadnt event started physcial therapy yet, they wanted to get her tk the point she could be around others without going into a panic mode

⁃ But what really shocked them was how her wings hadnt grown back.

⁃ They were then told that they would never grow back, since the bone in them were completely ripped out.

⁃ Thus she needs a wheelchair while she recovers

⁃ Daiki sometimes visits her during the night

⁃ He apologizes to her over and over again for not being there when she was taken

⁃ But also to apologize for abandoning her and Shirou

⁃ She just cupped his wet cheek and said

⁃ "Daiki, I know you had a damn good reason to do what you did. Also you're my big brother. I dont care if you work for All for One, youre still my brother. And you'll always have a home with us. Shouta Shirou and I will welcome you back with open arms."

⁃ Needless to say Daiki just bursted into more tears

⁃ Anyways—

⁃ By the time the school festival comes around, Noka still needs a wheelchair, and isnt the strongest mentally, but she has made tremendous progress.

⁃ After the 1-A concert, Eri sat on Noka's lap the whole time. Except during the beauty pageant, in which Deku held Eri, and Mirio held Noka (cause shes a smol baby)

⁃ Noka was in charge of tesching Eri the basics while she recovered, since the young girl felt most comfortable with her

⁃ When the dual training session came around, Noka still couldnt do much moving around without draining her energy quickly. So she stuck with enhancing her quirk while she built up her physical strength.

⁃ Meaning she healed any and all injuries after the matches were concluded

⁃ Monoma made the mistake of saying something about her not making any progress, and Bakugou was t h i s close to murdering him 😌

⁃ Ever since Noka got back from the hospital, Bakugou has been v e r y protective of his honourary sister—

⁃ But Kendou smacked the blonde before Bakugou could do anything

⁃ Shinsou would totally go like "Noka are you okay? Are you sure you should be out here? How are you feeling? Do you feel sick?"

⁃ Cause Shinsou is a mom

Anyways I have a bunch more hcs but i dont wanna completely bore you. But I was thinking of doing this for Daiki Shirou and Noka as children. Or maybe for Phoebe 😳😳😳　

Comment or send an ask if i should

[missjackil]

Let’s Talk About This....

One of the things I loved most about Season 12, was the drama between Mary and the boys. I know many of you found it annoying, but I was highly impressed. It wasn’t written as “Oh look Mom is back, lets be nice little family” or “Oh crap mom is back and she’s a zombie!” No, instead, there was a very realistic story around it, and the writers didn’t pick an easy one.  Nothing about the story, really went the way I thought it would, and I am so glad that as much as I watch this show, the writers can still surprise me. Now, Im not all about Mary hate, and I dont hate Sam Smith as an actor, but IMO she isnt nearly as good an actor as J2 are so scenes with her came off a little lobsided, but all that aside, I think the story arch was believable and well written. Continue below the cut 

My first thought was that if they didn’t make her a monster or evil, that she would be the third wheel (yuck) and favor Dean over Sam because they already established a relationship and Sam was just a baby when she died. I figured the story would develop that Sam felt left out, and early on, it almost looked like they were going that route. In The Foundry, we saw Mary and Dean sharing similarities, with the bacon and beef jerky, and putting Sam in the back seat (which hurt my soul) and cranking the radio when he wanted it turned down.  A little later in the episode, Mary stands between them, when theyre posing as FEDs, and of course to me, this made me clench my teeth. “Do NOT come between my bros!!!!” I’m not alone in that thought am I? Then much to my surprise, at the end, she wants to leave them! And really, for an understandable reason. This is something that could very likely happen in real life, if an estranged mother unexpectedly meets her adult children. Sure she may love them, but it could be very hard to wrap her head around that these men are the little children she remembers.  Now, from this point on, she seems more drawn to Sam. Not that she doesn’t love Dean, but maybe in part due to his understanding that she needs space, and maybe in part out of sheer curiosity of a son she really doesn’t know at all. They had never even had a conversation (to her recollection) before this point. She has no idea what kind of personality he has, and also knows that nothing about him, has anything to do with how she raised him. She has never spent a birthday or Thanksgiving or Christmas with him. He is a complete stranger, and yet, he’s very warm and understanding. And let’s not forget that she knows exactly why his life is a nightmare, and it’s from her own doing, and yet, he’s never even brought it up.  Now, I know many of you believe Sam doesn’t know she made a demon deal that caused Azazel to visit and start the firey chain reaction of his life, but I have always believed he does, and It SEEMS like thats the way the show is playing it, since it’s never come out that Sam DOESNT know, and there have been more than enough places that it should have been mentioned. Like when Mary told Dean she didnt know how to face Sam or what to say, because she started everything. or “Im scared, what if he (Sam) cant forgive me?” Dean didn’t say “Well Sam doesn’t know” he just didn’t say anything. However, they did leave it open ended, not confirming that he knows, so it still could go that way. It would just seem weird that it’s never been said that he doesnt know, making everyone anticipate that revelation.  For argument’s sake right now, lets say Sam doesn’t know. I’ll ask, if we should think he wouldn’t forgive her quickly? I can’t picture him lashing out, unless he found out right after something traumatic had happened. Not everyday trauma, but big, like getting possessed by Lucifer again, or somehow his powers just killed or nearly killed Dean. During S12 nothing really happened that would have opened that scar to a fresh wound. In the past few seasons, Sam has been strong and more confident in himself, and much more accepting of his life, so if he were to find out now, he’d just be shocked and hurt for a little bit, and be forgiving soon after.  My next surprise came while watching Sam and Dean reacting to their mother betraying them, The brothers have been betrayed by nearly everyone they know at some point, or hurt in some way, but this is their mother. Their reactions are a lot different than if it had been an enemy, a friend, or even each other. They had to be hurt and disappointed in someone they weren’t gonna kill or hit. Even when they have hurt each other, they could yell and scream and beat the crap out of each other, but this is MOM! The gifs above represent, such a wonderful acting scene for J2. We have seen them fight with their Dad in s1, and we wouldnt have been surprised if punches got thrown, so the anger was a lot louder and potentially physical. Here though, they’re holding back.  Both brothers express broken hearts so clearly in their facial expressions. They havent had a time before this, that they have been hurt so deeply by a woman they both love. They’re both holding back tears so hard it shattered my heart for them both. However, they didn’t cowar and hang their heads in shame while she tried to justify her actions, that she is “Not JUST a Mother” when she hadnt even tried to be a Mom to them yet. But my boys made damn sure she knew you don’t f*ck with them and walk away scott free. Maybe you’re in a safe zone where they wont punch you physically, but they’ll make you wish they did.  Dean rabid punched her in her heart with his words. He was glad she got to be haunted by Wally dying during the lake house hunt, that she felt guilty telling his wife. He made sure she knew everything he and Sam were feeling, and took away her place as their mother by calling her Mary. When she was metaphorically bleeding on the ground, Sam drew the kill shot. He doesn’t argue with her, he doesn’t cut her down, thats been done, he just delivers the last thing that anyone who loves Sam Winchester in the slightest, ever wants to hear... “You should go”.  What she had before all this, her sons and somewhere she could call home, Sam and Dean took them both away from her, because she squandered them. I was speechless. Now, if there was ever any wonder, who could get away with what when dealing with these brothers, it got answered. If you’re on the good side of Sam and Dean, you have the best protection and friends you could ask for, but nobody is safe if they cross them. And sure, they take abuse by people/monsters all the time and dust it off, but they have their limits, even with blood family.  Look at these gifs and see their faces. These men have both lived through decades of Hell. Lost eachother several times. Been tortured, beaten, shot, stabbed, and tormented by the most evil creatures ever created, but this woman, their own Mother, inflicted more pain than  any of them. Both Jared and Jensen deserve Emmys for conveying that so clearly.  Now, the guys undoubtedly fester with this for a while, but in typical Sam and Dean fashion, they cant just walk away. Sam ventures back first, but Dean isnt far behind when he hears Mom might be in danger. They dont talk about it anymore till the end. Dean is pretty open about his feelings, though he will tell you he isn’t. Sam is the oposite, he thinks he’s open and he really isnt. When Dean gets into Mary’s head in 12x22, he lays it all out to her, he tells her what she doesn’t know about him, and how her actions ruined, not only his, but Sam’s life as well. Why did he speak for Sam? Because Sam wont. Not because Sam is weak, but because Sam doesn’t want attention drawn to his issues. He’s an “other people have got it worse” kind of guy.  When Dean tells Mary that he hates her, and that he loves her, and forgives her, you know, he really forgave her. She had to know she is truly loved and forgiven. Then she worries about Sam, and maybe he can’t forgive her. With the same style, with so few words, that knocked her out not long ago, he gives only a few words to pick her back up. “You dont have to be scared of me” (ugggh my heart!) If you didn’t like this story arch, I ask that you just watch it again and see how much time and effort were spent on Sam and Dean’s reactions to everything, and maybe give a new appreciation to how well it was written, and even better acted. 

[sheerios-and-milk-blog1]

This Love is Ours// Sweeran

Date: June 19 2017  Rating: PG Summary: Ed and Taylor spend some time relaxing at Ed’s house and watching The Secret Life of Pets with his cat.

Ed: Ed went into the bathroom and shower before going into his room completely naked and looks over at her where she was in his bed, "You look cozy" he says as he walks to the closet to grab his boxers and sweatpants.He puts the pants on and walked over to his side and Laid down, he pets the little cat next to them and he lays close to her, "You look way better in that shirt than i do"

Taylor: Taylor propped herself up as Ed walked in the room, staring a bit at his freshly showered body. She gave him a soft smile, turning on her back and stretching out on his bed. "I am cozy. Your bed is nice, the shirt is warm and Graham is keeping me company." She told him, giving Graham another scratch on the head. She giggled, shrugging her shoulders a bit. "You'd think I'd look nice in a trash bag if I wore it." She joked.

Ed: He scoots close to her and lifts graham up, "Quit stealing my woman, G" he says to the cat and places him to the side then wraps his arm around her, "I like having you in my bed. Its been weird not having you next to me after that trip" he tells her honestly

Taylor: She let out a laugh as Ed accused Graham for stealing her. She instantly complied when Ed pulled her close, loving the feeling of having him close. "I like having you next to me as much as possible." She told him, showing him a shy smile.

Ed: "You can have me close to you whenever you want" he tells her and snuggles close. He lays there with her for a moment before he quickly turns over and reaches into the side table pulling out a jewelry box that had a white gold pair of earrings with a sapphires that were blue like the ocean. "This is for you" Ed says and smiles

Taylor: "Good to know." She said, nuzzling close to him. She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling completely safe and secure with him by her side. She opened her eyes as Ed moved, giving her a box. She looked at him confused and opened it to reveal gorgeous earrings. "Ed!! These are beautiful." She told him, admiring their blue and gold contrast. "Thank you." She said leaning over to give him a sweet kiss.

Ed: He laughs at her happy reaction, thrilled that she liked them, "Youre welcome" he says and kisses her lips sweetly. He knew ahe didnt know what the gift was for and he thought today was a good time to tell her. "Im sure you dont know but today is a special day" he says

Taylor: Taylor looked at Ed, another look of confusion on her face. She tried to remember if there was anything that was really a milestone in their past friendship that she should've remembered, but she couldn't really think of anything. "Okay, I'm stuck. Why is it special?" She asked, wondering what could've possibly happened that she deserved this beautiful gift.

Ed: Ed sits up in his spot and looks at her with a smile, "On this day, 4 years ago is when I first thought 'wow, I love this girl'" he says and laugjs, "We were were at your house, watching Titanic during a break from tour and you were reciting all the lines and acting out all the parts and I knew that you were it" he explains. "Who would have thought that we would end up here"

Taylor: Taylor listened to Ed's explanation, her heart skipping a beat or two at the confession. She placed her hand on her heart, looking at him with adoration. "Ed..." She said, remembering exactly the day he spoke of. She crawled over to him, wrapping her limbs around him so she was sitting in his lap. "I'm glad that we are here. I'm so happy with you." She told him, kissing his lips again.

Ed: He wraps his arms around her and places a loving kiss on her neck, "I am too. Ive really never been this happy before, youre more than I ever thought was possible"!" He says. He had expected a romance between would be good but he had no idea how good it could be, she was like his missing piece, she made him feel strong and confident and like they could do anything if they were together

Taylor: She felt completely loved and safe in Ed's arms, never wanting that feeling to end. "I hope I make you happy as much as you make me happy. And that's a lot." She told him, smiling sweetly. Taylor and Ed's friendship advancing into a romance was one of the best experiences she's ever had. She knew they were still in their 'honeymoon stage', but she truly couldn't see herself getting tired of having Ed around.

Ed: He nods eagerly, "You do, you really do babe" he says and smiles. The puppy love stage was in full effect for them at this time, they were hot for each other and always wanted to be together but Ed had a feeling that even when thatbwore off that they would still be connected and happy because they had already meshed so well as friends, they were completely comfortable together and knew all there was to know.

Taylor: Taylor hugged him tightly, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt so comfortable with Ed, knowing that she could tell him anything and he would never judge her. That's always something she was nervous about in relationships was that she would have to constantly impress them and turn into someone she wasn't just to please her significant other. She had none of those vibes from Ed, which made her feel completely relaxed. There was no stress, it was all just adoration and respect for the other. "I love you, like a whole lot." She told him, peppering kisses on his neck.

Ed: Ed trusted Taylor and knew she would never judge him or his actions but there were still things he didnt show to her, he didnt want to show her how bad his drinking could be, he had that control and he didnt talk to her about his anxiety and sudden implive behavior because he didnt want her to worry or see him as weak but he thought that at least for now he had it under control. He looked at the girl in his arms and knew that she did adore him and want him and he never wanted that to change, "Hearing that always makes me smile like an idiot, I never thought Id see the day that youd say that to me"

Taylor: Taylor was so open with Ed that there were very few things he didn't know about her. She was sure that they would eventually come up, but she didn't see them as that important at the moment. She smiled widely, feeling proud of herself that she could make her boyfriend smile the way he was in that moment. "I'll say it as many times as you want me too."

Ed: He laughs a bit, "Just one more time" he requests and gives her a squeeze. He loved having her so close to him and sharing a bed with her. "What do you want to do with he rest of the night?" He asks

Taylor: She smiled sweetly, leaning in to give him a long, meaningful kiss. "I love you." She mumbled against his lips. She leaned back a little, taking a moment to think. "Depends on what you have to offer."

Ed: The kiss was sweet and soft but full of passion and love from both of them, he felt so lucky. "Well you did exhast me so I was thinking movies and junk food.. You know, the ed and taylor usual" he says, laughing. "But now we get to do that in bed and half naked" he adds with a laugh

Taylor: Taylor smiled, feeling guilty as charged, but not having any shame in it. "That sounds perfect." She told him, chuckling a bit at this comment. "Very true. There's more comfort that way." She smiled, getting off of Ed's lap to properly lay on the bed.

Ed: He reaches across the bed to grab the remotes, "Go get any snacks and drinks you deem needed, Ill get a movie set up" he says. They had done this routine many times before so it was almost like a tradition for nights in with them.

Taylor: Taylor nodded, getting up from the bed and scurried down the stairs. When she reached Ed's kitchen, she raided his pantry looking for all his different snacks. She grabbed some chips and cookies before going to the refrigerator to grab two waters. She made her way back up the stairs, making sure not to spill anything and walked back into Ed's room to deliver the food. She dropped the goodies on the bed and handed Ed his glass of water. "The land's finest water, sir." She playfully joked before setting her glass on the bedside table and getting into the bed. "What'd you pick?"

Ed: Ed takes the water from her and laughs at her joke, "Thank you, kind lady. It is much appreciated" he was laying on his back, head propped up with the pillows with Graham laying on his stomach. He looked back to the tv screen and shrugs, "Im not sure what to picl, what are you in the mood for?" He asks

Taylor: Taylor got comfortable under the covers, feeling warm and cozy in Ed's bed. "As long as it's not a scary movie, I can watch anything." She told him honestly, opening up the cookies and already taking a few in her hands.

Ed: He nods at her words and settles back, letting her join the cuddling with him and the cats. "Graham said he wanted to watch Life of Pets" he says. Ed loved animated movies, part of his kid at heart thing. He selects the movie and dimmed the bedroom lights. Happy to have such a relaxed night in with her, it was all very domestic.

Taylor: Taylor scooted closer to Ed, wanting to be close to him without disrupting Graham. She smiled at the movie choice, having seen the movie before. It was a nice feeling to be so domestic with him, just the two of them and his cat watching a movie and eating snacks.

Ed: The movie began and Ed smiled, he liked these kind of nights, Ed didnt really like being surrounded by people, it was exhausting and thus demanding drinking and what he considered to be an alter ego almost just to handle and not freak at times but this, just him and the person he knew better than anyone and the calm, this was what he lived for, the calm between the storms. He picked at the snacks while his fingers ran through her hair absent mindedly

Taylor: After a long day, relaxing in bed and watching a movie was always the way that Taylor would unwind and just relax. Having Ed with her though made it feel so much more comfortable. She watched the movie, completely melting when Ed started to play with her hair. "Mm, I love when people play with my hair." She hummed happily, her eyes closing for a second nuzzling into Ed's hand.

Ed: He couldnt help but chuckle a little and smile, thinking she was absolutely adorable. He kept playing with her hair and paid attention to the movie, he had seen it before but it always made him laugh. he lays back and stretches out, hos muscles flexing and the blanket falling from his half naked body as he did

Taylor: Taylor moved closer to Ed, placing her head on his chest without getting in his way as they continued to watch the movie. She took a moment to think about how lucky she was that Ed was interested in her. There were millions of people that he could've chosen but he wanted her and treated her basically like a princess. She was sad that he had to leave for tour soon but knew that he couldn't let all those people down just for her. So she enjoyed the time spent with him, giving her attention to him as much as she could before he had to leave.

Ed: Leaving for tour the following week would suck, the relationship had just started and they already had to be apart and it was sad, he would miss her a lot but knew that they would be texting and calling as much as they could. He leans over, putting his hand under her chin and bringing her gaze up before he places a soft kiss to her lips, not wanting to waste a second with her

Taylor: It was bittersweet that Ed had to tour the country soon, Taylor knew all about that feeling. But she knew that in the long run, it was all worth it. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Ed pulled her lips to his in a delicate kiss. She kissed him back, it almost being a reflex with how much they had done it. She loved kissing him because each time it sent butterflies to her stomach.

Ed: Ed had spent years thinking he would never get a chance to Kiss her like this and now that he was able to he just couldn't keep himself from doing it all the time. He kept the kiss going, his hand on her bare leg, wanted her close to him and never wanting her away from him

Taylor: There was so much love and coziness evry time the couple kissed. It was so new, but Taylor felt no shame nor awkwardness between them. They still acted silly when they were together, but now there was an added flare of being completely smitten with each other. She kept kissing him, her hand going to rest on his neck to keep him close. The kiss was soft but so special, her focus drawn to him.

Ed: He always made it a point to kiss Taylor in a way that shows that he is hers and that she was all he wanted, he didnt want her to have any doubt in his mind that he was different then the others had been, he would do anything for her. Ed turns more toward her and this causes Graham to jump up off of him and Ed pulls back, laughing, "Guess Graham didnt wanna be the third wheel any longer" he says, his lips cenitmenters from hers

Taylor: Taylor wanted Ed to know how much she cared about him with everything she did. She wanted him to feel the same love that she received from him. As they continued kissing, Taylor felt her head spin a bit as she let herself melt into it. She laughed along with Ed, hearing Graham jump off the bed. "Can you blame him? We're such a touchy couple." She smiled.

Ed: Ed laughs, "We are but can you blame us, I mean I missed out on a lot of time where we could have been doing this" he says and shrugs, "I think hes a little too dramatic"

Taylor: Taylor shook her head, "We both missed out, so Graham will get over it." She smiled, entangling her legs with Ed's. Their faces were only an inch or two apart, Taylor taking the time to admire Ed's features before kissing him again.

Ed: He looked into her eyes for a moment and felt himself fall in love all over again, hearing her words about her feeling ahe missed out on being with him for longer made his heart swell and he accepted the kiss, deepening it before he pulls back, playfully biting her lip then putting his forehead to hers, "Im so glad youre here with me"

Taylor: She felt that warm fuzzy feeling that people talked about whenever Ed was with her. She would always wonder what they could've been if they didn't meet when they were both in relationship before and now that she was living in the midst of it, she was overjoyed. She grinned at Ed after he bit her lip, looking at him fondly. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Ed: He didnt like thinking about all they missed out on and how they almost missed out on each other, he was just happy that he had her now. He smiles at her words, "Me either" he says and looks back at her adoringly, "I am so in love with you, Taylor"

Taylor: Taylor was appreciative of the past but she was living for the present because it was everything she could've wanted. A joyful tingle went through her body at Ed's words, a glowing smile appearing on her face. "I'm in love with you too." She told him, meaning every single word.

Ed: He smiles sweetly and kisses her again before cuddling close and taking her back in his arms. "This is the best way to spend the end of the night"

Taylor: She smiled, taking one of his hands into hers and kissing his nose quickly. "I agree."

[english-blxndie-blog]

Extensive Backstory for my Fallen Angel AU

[Note: This is regarding his crimes against heaven and how he fell.]

After dying, Pip was sent to heaven like any good boy would be. He was delighted at first, knowing he would get to see his actual family again and be with them. Things took a tide for the worse though when the news came that he wouldn't be able to see Damien again. Ever. It wasn't common for Angels to leave Heaven, and even then they weren't allowed in Hell, and its not like Damien would be allowed up here either, being a demon. It was only common knowledge, Demons and Angels were not allowed to interact under any circumstances. It was forbidden, immoral, wrong.

He couldn't lose Damien, he had been the one thing that had kept him grounded throughout his lifetime. He grew up with that demon boy by his side, and he knew that Damien was good at his core, he knew that he wasn't as bad as everyone made him out to be. That’s why when he was told that there would be no further contact with Damien and he wasn't allowed to attempt any form of contact, he was more than upset. It was like his parents being ripped from him all over again, but this time it hurt so much more.

Tears streamed down Pip's cheeks at the very thought of losing his lover. He had to do something, and he knew that what he was going to do was against EVERYTHING he had ever learned. But he would rather be damned to hell than to be without the love of his life, than to be without the only person who had ever been there. He couldn't stand the thought of losing Damien, and that's when he made the decision to rebel against Heaven itself.

And perhaps Damien's corrupt touch had reached his innocent little heart just a bit too far- because in that moment he didn't feel wrong doing what he did. Despite the tears that shed from his cheeks, not once did he show anger. He was far too calm as he made his way throughout the beautiful heavens. It was the oldest crime in the book, the only one he knew that was for sure to bring the wrath of god. It would get him kicked out of heaven but he didn't care, he had made up his mind. He would be with Damien and if that meant throwing everything away then he would do it.

The gardens of Eden appeared before him and he slowly made his way into them, the lush and gorgeous foliage was illuminated by the light of the Heavens, making everything oh so much more beautiful. He made his way to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil eyes staring up at the Forbidden Fruit. A pain burned in his chest as he began to reach a hand upwards, he knew that this was wrong- immoral. But damn his morals! He couldn't imagine eternity without the only person who stayed there for him through everything.

That was when he heard a voice behind him, a loud- commanding, powerful voice. "Just what do you think you're doing?" The voice commanded an answer, and it was in that moment that Pip knew he had been caught, that he had to stand up for himself for once in his life. He was going to do just that- he wasn't going to be weak now.

Fists balled at his side as he turned on his heels and glared at the Angel before him. It was obvious that this was no Angel normal though, it had to be an Archangel considering not even normal Angels were allowed in the gardens. "You an' ya' stupid rules of Heaven are why im here in the first place!" He screamed, tears falling as he shook with rage. "How dare ya' tell me I'm not allowed any contact with the love of my life? As accepting as Angels are supposed ta' be the lot of ya' certainly are not!" He wasnt going to stop there, the rage was boiling over within him.

"It's unfair!" He was choking on his tears as he barely got his words out "Ya' think ya' can control who I love, jus' 'cause he isn' the best?" He pointed a finger accusingly at the Archangel. "Ya' are good for nothin' if ya' don' think that people like Damien can be good. I've seen it with my own eyes, he is an amazin' person an' yet ya' deny me the right to even communicate with him!"

"Cease this behaviour immediately!" Michael's voice was strong as he moved closer to Pip, "You are in the presence of the General of God, and on behalf of the Lord I'm going to have to have you tried for your actions against Heaven itself." He made his way to the blonde, standing at his side and placing a hand on his shoulder before forcing him onto his knees. "You're to be tried tomorrow morning, and until then you're going to be imprisoned. Don’t think you can get off of this so easily." He paused before scoffing. "We had much higher expectations of you, Phillip Pirrup. It seems that demon really has corrupted you."

Pip couldn't move, it was like a higher power was binding him in place. His wrists falling neatly in front of him with a wave of the Archangel's hand. His face scrunched up in disgust before he spit upon the ground of the holy garden. "Hold a trial for me then, arrest me, but ya' will neva' break my spirit." A pain coursed through his body and everything started to go black. This wasn't being cast out- no this was being subdued, put under so he would be controlled easier. His lids grew heavy as he tried to keep them open, swaying slightly. "Ya' bloody bastard..." He mumbled out, head spinning. The last thing Pip saw was the cement of the garden walkway before his face slammed into it rather harshly, out cold and put under until his trial would take place.

"Get up!" The voices were harsh, yelling at him as he was barely awake. He struggled to pull himself to his feet and off the floor of the damp cell. An ache pounded in his head as he stood there, blinking at the guards. He didn't respond, he didnt know what they wanted. "Your trial is set to happen in five minutes. Be ready."

Pip gave a grunt of understanding before he sighed, looking down at his hands. All he wanted was to be cast out without anyone knowing, and now he knew that people would see him- they would shame him for what he has done. That was always the point of a trial- to make the person feel even worse about what they had done. He flexed his fingers as he stared at them, a million thoughts running through his head. What was he going to do now? Its not like he could take it back and everything would be okay. Besides, that's not what he wanted, he wanted to be cast out- he didn't want to stay here. It was in that moment that Pip knew exactly what he would do at his trial.

And when the holy bells of reckoning rung, their divine sounds radiating throughout the holding cells, Pip held his head high as he was escorted to the court room. He strode with confidence in his step, eyes forward as he tried to ignore the stares of the jury, the stares of the council, the stares of everyone watching. He was brought before the council, directly in the center of the circular room, the guards that were once escorting him had gone, and he was alone now.

His cerulean eyes stared up at the council, not caring for the room of others behind him. What mattered was how he would approach this, and how they would approach this. He had so much business left unsaid, and he was going to make his point across clearly this time.

The head councilman began to speak, voice cold- void of emotion as he read off of a paper. "Phillip Pirrup, you are here today on accounts of treachery against our kingdom. These accounts include the following offenses; disobeying orders of an Archangel, defacing the holy property of our Sacred Garden, and attempting to eat the Forbidden Fruit. How do you plead, Phillip?"

Pip's eyes narrowed as he glared up at the council. "I plead guilty." A gasp was heard from the entirety of the crowd as he spoke. It looked like they weren't expecting him of all people to be guilty of such heinous crimes. He could see the councilman beginning to get ready to speak once more, watching as he shuffled his papers. He took a step forward, speaking before the council could. 

"Do ya' know why I did those things?" He started off, "I did them because I am sick of ya' rules! I will not stand 'ere an' be told to abide by them when you deny me the right to love!" He brought his left hand up, a smile falling across his face. "An' ya' know what I 'ave ta' say, before any of ya' can judge me and damn me to hell?!" His gaze shifted to the audience that was presence. "I say damn ya' rules, and damn ya' all to hell!"

"I, Phillip Pirrup, Renounce my Grace!"

The room went silent as he stuck his left hand into his own chest cavity before he yanked out the very essence from within him. The essence that made him an Angel, the one that was keeping him bound here to heaven. He tossed it to the side, the silvery essence dispersing into the air. "What have you done?!" Shouted a voice from the crowd, a blonde woman pushing her way through the jury to the front. Eyes wide with shock as she stared at Pip.

Pip's eyes widened as he recognized that voice, he had no idea that his own mother would be here. And now that she had seen the stunt he pulled, he could feel his heart breaking. "Mum I 'ad no idea ya' were 'ere...." he started off, going silent. He could see the disappointment on her face, and he knew that he had little time to explain things. "Mum I....I've done this 'cause I'm in love. They- They wont let me be with 'im, an' he was the only one there for me after I lost you an' dad..."

His mother gazed at him with soft eyes "Sweetheart, you didnt have to renounce your grace..you still could have visited him on Earth and when he passed you two could have been together- here. And we could have finally met him- finally had a happy family."

Shaking his head, tears formed in Pip's eyes "No mum...." he started off "We couldn' 'ave...." He was about to explain why when a flash of light occurred in the room. Michael standing before him and he gazed down at Pip with a scathing look on his features.

Michael's hand moved from above Pip's head slowly down to his neck. A halo appearing as he did so, the halo moved from above the blonde's head to around his neck before constricting. Forming a lovely noose as barbed spikes appeared, piercing into the blonde's neck. Blood trickled down his neck as the puncture wounds formed, marking him as forsaken. "Phillip Pirrup. You have been found guilty of the highest treachery among us. Not only have you committed those crimes previously listed- but informants have told us of your relations to a certain Demonic Prince.” The disgust was evident in his tone, and all eyes in the court were disgusted with him for even doing such a thing.

Blood splattered out of Pip's mouth as he opened it to talk, eyes wide. He glanced over at his mom with pleading eyes. "Mum I'm so sorry..." he choked out, struggling to breathe at this point. If anything all it did was make it hard for him to be understood.

His mother shook her head, a disgusted look on her face. "I never would have thought that you would do something like this." She was a woman of faith, and to hear that her son was toying around with a demon prince was one of the most hurtful betrayals she could have ever imagined. "It was nice to see you again Pip, but I didnt raise my son to do such things. You're not the son I raised."

Pip could feel his heart break with those words. He had lost everything, his grace, his position in heaven, and now his mother. Eyes gazed up at Michael as they slowly grew more and more dull. The hope of the child that was once in them gone completely, "His name is Damien." He sneered at Michael. "An' he has shown me far much more hospitality than ya' eva' 'ave."

Michael raised his hand "I, Archangel Michael, and General of God, hereby denounce you as banished." He moved his hand to press against PIp's forehead. A bright light escaping his palm as he banished the blonde from Heaven.

A scream of agony escaped Pip as he felt the holy energy forced out of his body. The light radiated from his mouth and eyes, shooting out in beams. His wings sprouted fully as this happened, turning a dark black and beginning to fall apart at the seams. Feathers fell to the floor, stained the darkest of ink black. The ones that managed to stay on his wings had begun to form holes, becoming tattered as the holy energy was removed from them. The smell of flesh burning was overwhelming, and he could feel a heat rising within his body.

And in a few moments after that, he could feel himself falling. His now broken wings surrounding him like a cocoon, he couldn't open his eyes or breathe, but he knew what was happening. A small bit of fire began to surround him as he was sent downwards into the orbit of Earth. One looking at the sky at the very moment might think of him as a shooting star- but this was no star- this was an angel whom had given up everything for love.

[cheekbites-moved]

ok so i watched love simon for the first time last night & i was too tired to make a ‘final thoughts’ post then, so here it is now! lol

obviously this is gonna be long as hell so im putting it under a read more for ur convenience lmfao

im actually gonna start with what i didnt like bc it was just one thing.

obviously, if uve seen the movie (as many ppl hated this too), or read my liveblogging posts, u know what it is lol 

ill be honest, as a gay person, im incredibly biased towards simon. ill admit that. that being said, how his friends treated him after he got outed was fucking disgusting.

here’s the thing: the actions simon did that his friends got upset over were motivated by the threat of him being outed. now, if this movie was just some fluffy, fantastical movie, the threat would just be ppl knowing he’s gay and that’s it. no repercussions, just ppl gaining the knowledge that he’s not straight. not that big a deal.

however, since this movie tries its best to be accurate and realistic to things, it’s not that simple in the movie, and it’s not the simple in real life.

the risk of being outed is not just ‘ppl knowing ur gay’ and that’s it.

the risk of being outed involves the risk of getting bullied (which does happen in the movie, twice. once to ethan on screen, once to simon after he comes out.), getting abandoned by ur friends (which also does happen in the movie), getting expelled from school or fired from ur job if either of them find out & are lgbtphobic, getting kicked out of ur house if ur parents/whoever u live w find out & theyre lgbtphobic, and, at worst, it can come with the risk of getting beaten or even killed.

and no, this isnt me blowing this up to be more serious than it should be. bc unfortunately, in the world we live in, these things can happen as a result of someone being lgbt, whether they came out themselves or were outed by someone else. 

the worst thing simon did was hurt his friends’ feelings a bit. 

he didnt notice leah’s feelings for him (which. why would he? he’s not interested in her, or any girl for that matter, so obviously he’s not looking for the signs of interest. why would he notice that, and why was it his responsibility to know anyway??). he tried to set nick up with her because he genuinely thought she had feelings for nick, and that’s the main reason why he didn’t realize that she liked him.

yes, part of the motive was trying to get nick out the way so he could set abby up with martin, but ffs. let me reiterate that his life, and potential future, were on the line. having the possibility of all the aforementioned things potentially happening to him should make his actions at least understandable.

like falling for someone that doesnt like u back bc theyre not attracted to ur gender (which like.. hello. gay ppl fucking experience that shit all the time too & we have to learn to deal w it.), or being put in a game of matchmaker bc ur friend was trying to save their own fucking life is rly not that big a deal compared to said friend’s situation of trying to save their own fucking life. 

one situation hurts, but can eventually be healed from (which clearly they do in the movie since abby and nick got together anyway in spite of simon’s actions, and leah’s fine). the other situation has the chance of resulting in a fucking future/life being ruined or taken. i think that one is much more fucking important.

all in all, i just wish they wouldve fucking apologized. bc they screamed at him after he got outed. 

abby saw how fucking terrified he was when he came out to her, but she’s not gonna have a single ounce of sympathy when he was outed to the entire school against his will?? like what the fuck! 

also wish they wouldve stood up for him when he got bullied. they just sat there with guilty expressions, but none of them did anything. it was really rough to watch.

as much as all this seriously pissed me off, though, especially as a person who has been outed against my will so all of simon’s heartache as a result rly resonated with me.. 

i appreciate that they put that shit in. 

bc u know what unfortunately that is how cishet ppl react sometimes. guilting u for being lgbt, guilting u for not coming out to them despite knowing how scary it can be, etc etc etc. 

and getting apologizes from cishet ppl for that kinda shit is rare. so, as much as i was annoyed that they didnt apologize, that is unfortunately realistic. as much as i wish they wouldve stood up for him, that was also unfortunately realistic. so im still glad it’s in there even if it did piss me off. 

simon’s speech to martin was nice at least, and i hope that it taught some cishet ppl that have outed ppl, or threatened to out ppl, or wanted to out ppl, why u just dont fucking do that shit.

woo now that that’s outta my system lmfao onto all the good stuff! in bullet list form bc theres a l o t lmfao

the soundtrack ESP for the emotional moments wOw

‘i wanna dance with somebody’ gay musical addition

simon’s subtle annoyed looks whenever straight nonsense™  happens

simon’s terrible attempts at being straight

simon’s extremely subtle, but still noticeable if ur lgbt, panic whenever the potential chance of him being outed/discovered arises 

the dog

simon’s parents’ speeches to him after he comes out to them

seriously as gay, nb person w lgbtphobic parents that shit meant a lot to hear. 

the fact that this is not only a mainstream lgbt rom-com, but also a mainstream movie abt a gay kid learning to love himself and be confident with himself and his sexuality

simon’s journey to being able to proudly proclaim that he’s gay.

the speech he has near the end is so fucking powerful bc we see him struggle throughout the movie to say it. 

first he cant say it at all, then he can only say it quietly, but by the end of the movie, he’s proclaiming to the entire school, loud and proud, that yes. he is gay. and he’s not going to feel wrong for that anymore. 

i feel like that entire journey is one that can really resonate with a lot of ppl, including myself. so im so fucking happy that this movie included that progression, and ended it with him having such an exuberant amount of confidence. it was honestly really beautiful, and im glad i got to witness it.

simon practicing pickup lines in the mirror

“hey barack its me jacques”

abby trying to teach simon how to flirt

simon googling “how to dress like a gay guy”

simon not having martin’s bullshit and telling him off for how fucked up blackmailing him was from the start, but especially his speech about how important/personal coming out is to ppl and how shitty it was that he took that away from him

MRS ALBRIGHT IN GENERAL BUT ESPECIALLY HER ICONICALLY STICKING UP FOR SIMON IN THE CAFETERIA I STAN HER SO HARD!!

ethan in general, but especially his speech to simon in the office, and super especially the line “one gay’s a snnooze, two’s a hilarious hate crime”

like i seriously appreciate how real this movie is. and it doesnt have lines like this, or plots like the blackmailing/outing just for drama. 

it’s to show that this is how being lgbt can be sometimes, this shit rly happens. and i just rly appreciated seeing all that in a way that didnt even try to pull any punches. it was so clear they seriously cared abt making this an accurate movie, and that meant a lot

GETTING TO SEE TWO BOYS KISSING ON SCREEN MULTIPLE TIMES, AND NOT JUST THAT, BUT GETTING TO SEE THEM GET A HAPPY ENDING!!!!! 

i seriously cried for like 20 minutes starting from when bram showed up at the ferris wheel to well after the credits had ended. 

i cannot even begin to express how fucking incredible it was to get to see two boys kissing, getting cheered on, and getting to be happy.

especially in the scene where simon picks up everyone, and leah moves so bram can get in the front seat and he kisses simon when he gets in. IT WAS SO SWEET.. AND BEAUTIFUL I LOVED/APPRECIATED IT SO MUCH IT MEANT SOOOO FUCKING MUCH TO ME GOSH

my thoughts of the movie can be boiled down to this: im so fucking happy this movie exists. 

im so fucking happy that a movie abt a gay kid learning to be confident in his sexuality, falling in love and getting to have a happy ending with his boyfriend exists.

ive never cried more at a movie than i did at this movie, and ive especially never cried harder out of sheer happiness for a movie. 

knowing that this movie was in theaters, and that gay kids/teens have a movie that lets them know early on that not only is gonna be ok, but they do have a chance at a happy ending, and they deserve it, was so goddamn amazing.

this movie is so, so important. and im so happy that it, and the book its based off of, exist. 

and it’s a prime example of why representation matters so much. it was so fucking amazing to see myself, as a gay person, represented so well, so thoughtfully, so respectfully. 

i just... i love this movie so much. and im so glad it exists. and im so happy i finally got to see it.

i hope it inspires more movies/stories like it to be made. 

i hope that it results in lgbt stories being happy, uplifting stories. 

i hope that it results in lgbt characters getting to be the main characters. 

i hope it results in coming out stories being about the lgbt characters, and not how them coming out affects the cishet characters around them. 

and i hope it results in less tragic endings for lgbt characters, and more happy endings for lgbt characters.

for a long time, a future where we get the stories just mentioned has seemed bleak. but this movie changed that. and im excited for the road i hope it’s started us on.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

1-35 on fanfic asks

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

2 stars maybe? Im not great and i forget a lot of things. but no one can stop me from writing and i enjoy it. the more i do it the more i may like my own writing one day

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Fanfiction is everything to me. It was a matter of time until i started writing it seriously for myself.

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Literally nothing. I tend to go off with ships and specific things i want represented... but thats it. anyone can write.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Always! so many! the best thing about fanfiction is how it builds upon itself and spreads!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Im very proud of Secret Baby/ River run. Its large and a mess and i hate it. But im proud ive done it. A completed one im proud of is "Compress said its his turn on the murder screen" i think i did well with that one and kept the tone I wanted.

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

Arguments between characters and having them express themselves other ways.

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

It's the making up and posting works i struggle with. Along with editing which is another monster.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

I do love the murder boys! Dabi, Itachi, Deidara, Naruto (should have killed everyone), Reno. If theyve got issues i love them!

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

happy characters. I just don't know what to do with them. Like a domestic setting with no action? nope not for me!

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

Hurt/comfort has always been my jam!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

im not entirely sure? I havent been really writing/posting that long.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

Expectations! its a collaboration i'm working on with a friend and a DabiHawks fanfiction again! It's a fic where they fall in bed together before they even like each other. A lot of assumptions are made and not a lot of talking gets done until quite a bit of Damage has been done. Hawks finds out that Dabi's been doing some things he wasnt comfy with just because he didnt know how to tell Hawks and because he was attached to him. It's messy and won't get less so.

interesting to write to say the least because im such a Zero tolerance person.

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Naruto lol

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

part of my heart will always belong to naruto. can't leave it. But im enjoying writing for bnha immensely!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

Food Fantasy! a video game i did a short one shot on last october!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Soulmate au's! Omegaverse! I love tropes! Oh! Hanahaki!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

none.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I wouldn't say ive done anything too wild?

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

get canon away from me! i love au's! any and all!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

both!

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

currently its DabiHawks! i love my enemies to lovers! (everyone deserves compassion lave and basic decency)

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! some fics have specific playlists!

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

All of the above! i dont know how to put wips back lol!

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

I like one shots better but the amount of effort for multichapter fics is something else tbh!

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Yes a few times brought on by comments! What if Hawks ran in to Dabi early on or if Dabi had stayed and talked to Hawks the last night they spent together. None of it ever really goes well? Dabi has no support besides his Significant Other in both of these and i dont like that.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Nope! Ive been getting the hang of NSFW and i feel like that's one of my biggest areas to improve on!

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

any! seriously i love comments! telling me to write more or that i forgot something was done 6 chapters ago or a string of emoji's!

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

Much better than I used to!

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Every time i post lol. Im pretty comfortable with a variety of things! there's been times in this roleplay i participate in that i was very uncomfortable with how my character was acting but that was the entire point and it turned out well considering the outrage he kept causing!

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Best of both! ive also taken a shine to writing things that out of story context are fluff but in context are horrendous angst!

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

Nope! I don't really do Oc's!

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

Secret Baby/ River Run- Dabi gets pregnant and runs away. Hawks is the father.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I've had such a kind fantastic audience but i wish they would pay some more attention sometimes to why i have characters do things the way they do. Hawks leaves Dabi alone? theres a reason for that and the awnser is not to stalk him. even for Dabi's saftey.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

Dabi dosen't meet Rumi like expected. He expected to just get taken out by her in a fight one day, if they met at all. Not him cleaning his torn staples in Hawks bathroom after he's been shoved in there, Rumi having interrupted a blowjob and Hawks had roughly shoved him in his bathroom. He couldn't hear much of the conversation going on outside. But what he could made his face burn with embarrassment as he tried to put himself together. The fact that she was also a Hero and Hawks best friend made him nervous. What a great first impression, sucking her best friends dick with a bloody face. -" NOT DATING-" Hawks voice broke through for a moment and then quieted. -"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF HE'S A VILLAIN KEIGO, HE WAS JUST GIVING YOU A BLOWJOB THERE IS NO ." There was a loud thump as Rumi was yelling and Dabi let himself flinch here in private. She quieted down soon after she had started yelling. Dabi sat down against the sinks cupboard and rested his head on his knees. Waiting for it to stop and Hawks to kick him out. He wouldn't actually get to meet Rumi as Keigo's, well as Keigo's anything. It was just sex between them on Hawks end anyways. There's stomping towards the door and Dabi scrambles up as he resists the urge to lock the door. To lock himself inside like a child thinking it will save him from Enjis rath. Hawks is.... he's not kind to Dabi, but he's not Enji either. The door opens and Rumi's gaze finds him as he's getting up. He ducks his head and gives a little half hearted wave, not sure what she's doing. Why she's looking at him with a gaze much softer than expected. "Hey. Sorry I walked in on you guys. I'm Rumi. Hawks best friend he's been hiding away from you." "I uh. Um. Dabi? I go by Dabi. I think it's more like I'm just his dirty little secret." He gives a small dry chuckle and a smirk, a tad on the mean side like he did with Keigo. It came out a little to real and he winced. He sounded like a whiny asshole, he thought as he kept his gaze on his bare toes digging into the tile. "Dabi, I doubt Keigo thinks of you like that." Rumi reaches her hand out and Dabi tenses in anticipation of her grabbing him. To harm him maybe? To throw him in cuffs? Out of Keigo's apartment but he has no doubt that he will be there soon enough after Rumi leaves. "Its fine. I'm just a villain he can sleep with ya know?" Rumi gets a determined look in her eye as she draws her hand back, having noticed him tense up. "I'm going to give you my number Dabi. Villains don't any resources and I don't like how Hawks treated you when I walked in. If anything happens, I want you to have a way out. I don't think you've told your friends who your sleeping with. Or you would have teleported out of here." Dabi hands his phone over still in shock to Rumi and she gently takes it. She's still super confident in person but, there's no violence or anger from her. Its... suprising.

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

Dabi and Hawks can both have issues and have to put in some serious effort to not only see those issues, but work together with them. this has been a PSA.