#you all deserve respect and you are not our enemy
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Hopeless In Georgia
I'm a trans man in Georgia and it feels completely hopeless. I've fought my whole life to defend who I am, my love for my wife, our marriage, our existence. The first time around with Trump was hard enough. But this 2nd time is proving impossible. The entire United States government and the President of the United States have made it very clear that they hate and want to eradicate trans people. How am I supposed to fight against the authority figures of the most powerful country in the world? I was ready to fight once again. Fight to defend my wife and our marriage. Fight to defend our home and our friends, regardless of how impossible it seemed. But I recently found out my father-in-law, not only voted for Trump but is completely unconcerned about this most recent anti-trans executive order that was just passed. The one saying that all federal documentation will have your birth sex on it. The one saying trans people cannot use federal facilities aligned with their gender. That there IS no more gender. Only two sexes: male and female. When my wife text'd my father-in-law telling him how scared we were, his response was to say that the "extreme left is fear-mongering" and blowing things completely out of proportion and that although he knows we'll have "hardships" it's not going to be nearly as bad as we're saying. What the ever loving fuck? The President of the United States, the United States government just said I am not a man and must identify as a woman and use women's facilities and that I, as a human being, am illegal. But we're "extreme left?" We have a document in black and white but this is "fear-mongering?" I can only come to the conclusion that my father-in-law never saw me as a man and never saw me as his equal. After having transitioned over 7 years ago and completely passing, it doesn't matter. To even a person who knows me and I THOUGHT cared about me, I am still less than. I am still not fully a human being. He sees no problem with me being arrested if I use a men's room, or if my documents that I worked YEARS to change and spent THOUSANDS of dollars on, might now be reversed and have a big fat F on them. It was one thing to gear up for a fight against a faceless enemy, no matter how gigantic or powerful, like the United States government, but it is something else entirely to have your own family tell you that you are less than human. Not worthy of respect or the same rights as everyone else. The blow has hit me so hard. And I can't stop thinking that if people who KNOW me can't love and support me, how the hell am I ever to expect strangers to think of me as a person who deserves the same treatment as everyone else? How am I EVER supposed to be accepted in society? This is only day 3 of the Trump regime. I can't even fathom how on earth I'm going to survive 4 years of this. Especially knowing there is far worse to come. I don't know what to do. I can't fight the United States government. I can't fight against more than half of the American population who seem to think I'm not a human being. I can't do this. I don't want to suffer for the next 4 years. I don't want to even think about losing my house, my home, my friends, my family, and a job I love to up and move to a new state or even a new country. I don't want to do that! What would my wife and I do? Start over in a homeless shelter? We don't have the money to do something so crazy! To move to a place where we don't know anybody! Everything I love is here in Georgia! I can't do it! I can't just sacrifice everything and move away from everything I care about! I don't know what to do. All I know is I don't want to endure it. And every time I think "I can't do this," scary thoughts about an easy way out start to crop up. And I could NEVER do that to my wife and my friends. So all that is left... is to just sit here and suffer for years to come.
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People who identify as Aspec because of trauma are still Aspec. People who identify as Aspec because of Dysphoria are still Aspec People who realized later on they weren't Aspec where are any less Aspec when they were identifying as it. The point is that at some point they related to and felt understood under an Aspec identity and that's all you need to be Aspec. If it changes later on then that's just how it is, it doesn't make them a faker or poser. It makes them a human being who is constantly growing and understanding more about themselves. We should be supporting these people not treating them as the enemy. If they change their minds then that's okay!
So many of us Aspec people used to think we were allo before realizing we weren't so why are we attacking others for having the same experience just with different identities?
#text#aro#ace#aroace#aspec#aromantic#asexual#this also includes people who don't change their labels at all who are aspec from trauma and dysphoria too#but the post mostly is targetting those who push the idea that these people will change their mind later#or they can be fixed from it and thus shouldn't identify as aspec#you all deserve respect and you are not our enemy#you are part of our community and we should be supporting you through your journey of self discovery#this includes other aspec identities too but I mostly see this argument used against people saying they are aro or ace#but im sure people who experienced trauma and dyphoria have also identified under other a-attractions as well due to it
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❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲.. 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭.. 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮.❞
Which sex position is your future lover’s favorite and why? (Detailed)
Masterlist
Author's note,
It's been a while since I last posted, hi everyone. I hope you enjoy your Christmas coming up!
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Pile I.
“I want to devour the sweet nectar of the sin that lies beneath me. To feel it dripping on the sin of my fingertips, the graze that will melt us into ecstasy burning in the brain of our subconscious, such a beauty that I only get to see—for how lucky I am.. a lucky bastard.. that I am.”
Your future lover’s energy puts me in a calm trance, the calmest one could be. I feel like I am sleeping or walking on a path of water that will lead me to paradise. They are so soft with you, their love, or shall I say devotion, to you is something they cherished tremendously, and they could not bear losing that with you. To lose you would simply be their death, and they cannot have that done, and that is why their favorite sex position is all over the place. They do not have one and could never dare; they want to feel you everywhere, in every position, and want to see your beautiful face move and show pure pleasure as they please you with the utmost respect. “That is something you deserve, you deserve the utmost respect one could bear, and that is the one thing you never have to ask or prove with me—it will be with you the minute you are my lover, though I am sorry it was not done when we were fighting.”
Enemies to lovers, or rivals to lovers, is your trope with them. You honestly made them want to fall in love, and made them understand what it was to actually love. Their ex, (or multiple, energies are flying around like crazy), were nasty. That’s really it, so awful, but they used that to improve on what they wanted, which was building walls around until you had the audacity to break them and make them fall for you, “shame on you!’’
(I can feel them next to me, they are so animated, so damn loving, it’s like they want to grab you right here and right now and pull you to their future).
Aside from your “audacity,” they are very happy that you did because they were spiraling into something darker and started to use something dangerous, not illegal or self-harming (it’s not my place to tell you), as a coping mechanism, yet now.. you are their drug. Not literally, but you basically saved them from this impending doom of shame and guilt. I believe you should get ready to heal your inner child (even if you have) with them because they will be spoiling you .. like crazy, maybe a bit too much? I see a vision with an insane amount of gifts, teddy bears, jewelry, sports gear, food, or something to do with your religion. Also art supplies or crystals that are insanely expensive, but if it is for you, then “fuck it, right?” That is how their attitude is with you.
Ten of wands.
I took a break because something was missing from them, and they could not tell me. Meaning they kept focusing on the positive aspects when it comes to your relationship and sex with you. However, with the ten of wands, they actually do not know how to have a favorite sexual position. In a way, they thought it was off-putting that others always picked a favorite; if you picked a favorite, then you lost the chance to explore around and make your lover feel sexual pleasure. So, intuition tells me they feel overburdened and overwhelmed picking a favorite, but at the same time, they feel pressured to pick one.
They know that you would not give a damn whether or not they had one, but their colleagues, co-workers, a boss, or some type of group pops up with how they think about sex, and it is affecting your future lover right now, and when you meet; they will feel insecure throughout your sexual journey with you thus why the relationship with them will be enemies or rivals to lovers. I believe it's peer pressure with them. My intuition tells me this is the reason why you saved them and why they would do anything for you.
I feel a lot of anxious energy with them, a part of me wants to hug them and tell them they are okay, okay to love and show their pleasure in their own way, but I already know this is how you feel with them and what you will tell them. And when you do, they will confess you saved them.
As I was editing, I had to give you a message and also saw 777. Listen here. You are absolutely allowed to love whoever you want, you are allowed to be spoiled and pampered, you are allowed to be kissed in the most romantic ways, and you are allowed to have someone help you take showers. No, this person will not treat you in a bad way because you struggle with mental health problems. And no, they will not let anyone laugh at you even when you guys are not together because you do not deserve that, and they also think someone who does that is a "fucking asshole.'' You are so so so .. and many so worthy of love and I hope each day you tell yourself that, because it is true or else I would not have said it nor left this message, understood? Allow yourself to have the happiness you deserve and stop being your own blockage because, at the end of the day, it is not worth it, and seeing you struggle to have your happiness, do you think your kid self would like that? Would that be okay with them or is that okay—to have yourself struggling to make amends with your past, forcefully giving yourself guilt for something that should have been forgiven a long time ago? Let it go, it is seriously okay, let it go. Yes, what you did was awful, and should not have happened with them, but let it go and do and become better for the mistakes you caused and for yourself so it does not happen again. So as I said before, if I didn't mean it, I would not have mentioned it in your pile, so let it go.
Masterlist
Pile II.
Your future lover's favorite sex position is face sitting. They love, and I mean this very heavily, love eating you out, giving you oral, sucking you off, whatever the case is, they are very addicted to your private parts. “All you, all you, and .. all you, you are so fucking delicious baby, fuckkkkk.�� I see a scene where they are covered in your juices, your cum, everything about you, and they are still eating you out as you grab their arms, body parts, or hair. Gripping for dear life, begging for relief, but nothing happens other than using their tongue in or on you faster, swirling it until it hits that sensitive spot of yours and, as well, as they are filled to the brim with your essence. The whole idea of eating dessert does not appeal to them UNTIL it is yours.
I hope you are ready for a very smutty scene since I cannot channel anymore other than their fantasies.. for you. I will address you as Y/N (your name), and them as F/L (future lover).
Scene A)
Your F/L will grab your leg and flip you over as they crawl towards your body, grabbing your skin to feel your skin. To feel the heat of your body because of how aroused you are. They will crawl towards your lips and greedily suck your top lips, nibbling the bottom to feel the taste from the last meal you ate, and chew softly. Then they will roughly thrust their tongue into your lips, sucking and grazing their tongue on yours and your teeth; they want to feel everything about you. Then they will pull out, grope your jaw and spit into your mouth as they crawl down and then sensually drag their tongue down to your chest area, sucking on them, and then to your private part as they blow air on it, seeing you twitch, whimper, groan, moan, etc. They will lean down and then give you oral.
Scene B)
Y/N is focused on doing their work, finishing up a coming project, and their deadline is coming within a week or two. F/L comes waltzing in as if they own the place and gazes at Y/N, smirking at their inconvenience. Though it would have been better if they could have helped Y/N, but no, it did not fit their shenanigans or their agenda. They stride over to Y/N as they massaged Y/N's shoulder, building trust with them. Once gaining their trust, they forcefully kiss Y/N, tasting their sweet nectar and feeling their tension dropping down until they remember their work as they push away F/L. But no, you would assume F/L will hold back and respect that push, yet they will not (still consent here). F/L will pick Y/N over their shoulder despite the weight of Y/N, and walk towards a countertop or over a table and bend them over. F/L will look at Y/N, and undress them as they crouch down and tease Y/N’s undergarment until they see a wet spot and then take it off only to tease Y/N with a toy, waiting for them to release but not cum since it is not allowed.
It will last for 2 hours straight, and once Y/N has had enough, they will face Y/N over their shoulders, similar to someone sitting on someone’s shoulder, only in this case, Y/N is sitting in front of F/L. F/L will suck or eat out Y/N until they are cumming over.. and over again and sobbing for F/L to stop. But it will not happen until Y/N uses their safe word(s) and once that does happen, pampering aftercare will erupt and leave Y/N comforted to the highest degree possible. With an insane amount of kisses, "because you deserve that and you deserve me to eat you out more!''
Masterlist
#pick a card#love reading#pac reading#tarot witch#tarot reading#pac tarot#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick a pile#18+ tarot#free tarot readings#collective reading#tarot community#channeled message#pick a pile reading#tarotcommunity#pick an image#pick a number#channel messages#pick a card reading#pick a photo reading#pick a image reading#reading#tarot card#free tarot reading#free readings#free intuitive readings#future reading#intution#intutive
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our leaves must fall before our flowers can bloom (teaser)
genre: poly hockey team!ateez x coach fem!reader, enemies/strangers to lovers, athlete!au, slow burn, fluff, angst
length: 1.0k (teaser) + approx. 38k (full fic)
c/w: sweaty ateez (warning well deserved), lots of hurt/comfort, one of the slowest slow burns to slow burn, remaining tags to be revealed with full fic
synopsis: you become the new coach of the elite men's ice hockey team, the red devils. but with both yourself and the team carrying burdens of the past, you all find it difficult to see eye to eye. as you lead them to the championships in the korean ice hockey league, you discover that teamwork and trust is not as straightforward as it seems.
a/n: when i started writing this i really thought it wouldn't exceed 25k but here we are :D full fic will be released in about a week and i am so ready
“she’s the new coach?” yunho frowns in confusion. “no offence, but we’re not a bunch of kids for her to practise being a soccer mum to.”
“she was the assistant coach for the grey eagles,” coach cho discloses.
“the grey eagles? the under-21 men’s championship team?” yeosang looks incredulous.
mingi sceptically comments, “the fact that we’ve never seen or heard of her before probably tells us enough.”
hongjoong’s lips purse sourly as he tries his hardest to analyse the situation with the professionalism of the team’s captain. but with the sudden change in coaches and the same critiquing doubts as mingi, hongjoong cannot help but feel his personal judgement webbing over his mind. over the team’s entire career as an elite ice hockey team thus far–five years, now well into their sixth–the red devils have only ever had two coaches. coach cho has been with them for the longest and whilst it took the team a while to eventually warm up to him, he has been with them for almost quadruple the amount of time it took to trust him.
the team’s alternate captain, seonghwa, speaks to you directly, “if you don’t mind me asking, why are you not playing as an athlete yourself? you’re clearly our age–nowhere near retiring.”
you knew from the very start that your age would make your credibility as a coach much lower, and your answer to seonghwa will not help your case either. “i stopped playing.”
“how come?”
the trigger of memories fills your nose with a sharp stinging smell. you blankly reveal, “i chose to stop playing.” you know exactly how it sounds like to somebody else, even more so to professional athletes. coach cho has also told you of the team’s hardheadedness and strong will when it comes to the passions of their career, so you are expecting the cold receptiveness that you are met with.
your response strikes the wrong chord within wooyoung. there was a point in his career not too long ago when the choice of continuing to play or not was at risk of becoming a forced decision. the way you answer so callously with those very words that had threatened to tear his world apart has his jaw grinding and eyes darkening, and he is not the only athlete in the arena who feels similarly.
“i would rather choose to die before i choose to stop playing. ice hockey is my entire life and without it, i am not living either,” hongjoong jabs and you cannot help but clench your fists because you know exactly what he means. still, you stay quiet as he continues, “sorry, but i can’t respect a ‘coach’ who chose to stop playing.”
at the captain’s words and subsequent move to leave for the changerooms, the rest of the team also gather their equipment and follow his steps. san’s feet falter in front of you, expression hesitant until he decides to voice, “our team needs a bit of time. it’s hard for us to warm up to…outsiders, and i know it might not mean much to say this but we have our reasons. don’t expect us to blindly trust you just because you’re a coach.”
the use of the word ‘outsider’ does not go unnoticed as you nod, “of course.”
san jogs off to rejoin the others and coach cho hums, “guess some things haven’t changed. they were just as prickly to me when i first became their coach.”
you raise an eyebrow, “prickly? to you?”
“yes, believe it or not,” he chuckles nostalgically. “we’ve come a long way because i’ve been their coach for years now. but it took me a while before i was able to break down their walls.”
you briefly mull over the information, then ask out of curiosity, “what would you have done if i didn’t sign the contract?”
“begged you to rethink your decision,” he jokes with a pleased chortle. “i would have to start looking for a different coach, i suppose. you were my only pick.”
“but why me, of all people? there are so many other experienced coaches that you can choose from.”
he looks at you, eyes glinting with intuition and confidence as he simply says, “you’re familiar with their playing style. they play just like you used to.” at your silent processing, coach cho probes, “why didn’t you tell them the real reason?”
you smile wistfully, “i didn't tell them because i’m not here to gain their pity.”
some of the boys’ voices grow louder as they emerge from the changerooms, changed into fresh clothes and their kit bags slung over their shoulders. you hear one of them ask, “captain, is she really going to be our new coach?”
they step out from the facility’s corridor and you accidentally make eye contact with hongjoong, yet neither of you look away. maintaining a steady gaze directly at you, he responds with a slight glower, “maybe, but she’s only the coach by title. i’m still the captain of the team, so let’s see who everyone listens to.”
as they exit the rink’s arena, you feel a fire of determination growing inside of you. you have won over your own demons and you have won the championships before–this is nothing in comparison. whether your next words are for coach cho or for yourself to hear, it does not matter.
“i may not play anymore but i was still once an athlete and no athlete has ever, in their career, wanted pity. i’m here to earn the team’s respect and i will win over them, especially their captain.”
you watch the swing of the glass door as it shuts behind the players, catching a brief glimpse of the trees lining the arena’s perimeter. it is the first day of autumn when you meet the red devils for the first time and outside, the leaves are beginning to change their colours.
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#loren writes#ateez fics#ateez fic#ateez x reader#ateez ot8 x reader#poly ateez x reader#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#san x reader#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez oneshot#ateez au#hockey ateez
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Stranded | Part Three
Featuring : Azriel x Fem!Reader, Eris x Reader (platonic), Rhys x Sister!Reader
Summary: Rhys is not happy when he finds out Azriel left you in Autumn. Requested by @sidthedollface2 here.
Warnings: 18+ only, description of ruined wings and skin scarring, canon level violence, mention of SA, not proofread (i'll do it later), let me know if anything was forgotten...
Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.
Dividers from @saradika
Part One | Part Two
You stood on the side of the room, next to Mor, as Rhys let out all his anger on Azriel. You would’ve let him keep going, but you started to feel a tug in your gut, telling you to stop Rhys.
You looked at Cassian as he eyed you and you gave him a simple nod. “Rhys, stop. Please.” You said, but there was little pleading in your tone.
Cassian put a hand on Rhys shoulder as he pulled back, then stood up. “I will never forgive you for this.” Rhys said and stepped back. You were pretty sure Azriel was unconscious until you watched him sit up, holding his ribs.
“Neither will I.” Azriel said, not even looking up at Rhys as he walked out of the room.
You waited, watching as Cassian helped Azriel up and sit on the couch. “I’ll go get Madja.” Mor said.
Azriel face was completely swollen, his nose was broken, his ribs were probably as well… but you noticed as the small cuts slowly started to heal. “No,” Azriel said. You rolled your eyes, always wanting to suffer, he is.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” You said. “You’re no use if you can barely see or move.” You said and looked over to Mor, nodding your head so she could go get the healer. Quickly, Cassian went after Rhys and Amren disappeared. They must have known that you needed time to discuss by yourself.
“You could’ve fought back.” You said, leaning against the wall still.
“It was no use… I deserve it. I’ve been waiting for it for 50 years.” He said, peering up at you. His shadows circled your ankles, like incessant toddlers.
“Why did you leave me that night?” You asked.
“I-“ he started and then paused. “I didn’t think you wanted me watching over your shoulder the whole night. And Mor really was upset… I knew you could handle yourself if you got in trouble.” He said, then stopped at the words. “Why didn’t you go to the Moonstone Palace?” He asked.
“Because I didn’t want to go to the Night Court if Rhys wasn’t there.” You said. “And even after I thought it would make a difference, I quite liked Autumn.”
“With Eris?” He let out an animalistic, possessive growl.
You furrowed your eyebrows. “When he was there, yes. I enjoyed his company. He kept me safe.” You said, feeling the need to defend the male that had done nothing but be kind to you, shelter you, for the past 50 years.
“He’s a monster. What he did to Mor-“
“Mor hasn’t told the entire story.” You spat.
“He our enemy.” He said.
“Your enemy sheltered me from Amarantha for 50 years. Your enemy stopped me from being raped. Your enemy helped heal me when my wings were just about burned to ashes.” You said, walking closer to him. Azriel stood up as you made your way to him, wincing we he did so.
“He did it for his own gain. He’ll turn on you as soon as he gets the chance.” Azriel said.
You clenched your fists in your hands. “Eris has never turned his back on me. He has never left me. That was you. So tell me why I should trust you anymore than I should trust him?” You asked.
“He’s not your mate!” Azriel said. Your breath hitched, stumbling back away from him.
“I don’t have a mate.” You said, just above a whisper.
“Yes you do. I’m your mate. The bond snapped the night… everything happened.” He said.
You narrowed your eyes, tears forming as you shook your head. “My mate wouldn’t leave me in ‘enemy’ territory.” You said and took another step back when he went to step towards you. “You are not my mate.” You said, holding back a sob as you turned away.
“(Y/N)-“
“I need time, Azriel.” You said, then ran up the stairs towards your bedroom. There was only one place that you could clear your head and your thoughts.
You were going to Autumn.
Eris knew you were at the cabin the second you winnowed into it. He had wards set in place to make sure no one but you and him, and anyone you allowed in, could enter. He got your note, and hoped that you would return soon enough.
Once he got away from his father, he went straight to the cabin.
He was shocked to see you sitting on the couch, wiping away tears.
"What happened?" He asked. You didn't even flinch at his voice. You knew he was there. You hoped he would come so you could confined in him.
"Azriel is my mate." You simply said, sniffing as you wiped the tears that streamed down your cheeks. Ever since he said it, so much more of your life had made sense. Why you were always so drawn to him, more worried about him on missions than your brother or Cassian... Why you would always do anything to keep him from harms way. But did he feel the same about you? He had left you with your enemy, alone, without anyone to defend you. His mate. He left you. How could you ever get over that?
You told Eris what you were thinking, how it all happened. Once he sat down next to you, he rested a hand on your knee. "You don't have to accept it right away. Cauldron, you don't have to accept it at all. But if you want to work on it with him, you can." He said. "And if not, if you can't even stand to be around him, then you come here. And you hide away or act as emissary to the Autumn Court, but you'll be away from him. Whatever you need, (Y/N), I will help you." He said.
Azriel's words gnawed at you. He will turn his back on you the first chance he gets. But in all your years of knowing Eris, he had never once been cruel, or unkind, to you. He had supported you every single time. Unlike Azriel, who left you when you needed him most.
"Can I stay here for a little bit?" You asked timidly. "I'll send a note to Rhys... if you can allow him to cross the borders and just talk with me... I just need to explain." You said.
Eris gave you a gentle smile, one you were sure only you saw. "I'll speak with my father.." He said and stood up. "Do you need anything else?" He asked.
You took a shaky breath and shook your head. "No, I'm just going to stay here for a little while. Clear my head." You said.
With that, Eris left the cabin and you got started on your note to Rhys.
You stayed in Autumn for a year, only visiting Velaris when Rhys asked you to. You were an expert in the knowledge of Prythian's history, a hobby you took up as a young child in Windhaven, and he needed you for the war against Hybern. And he wanted you to meet his mate, Feyre. Eris told you that was the girl who saved everyone. She was once friends with Lucien.
You were there in Hybern when they decided to try and trick him, break in. But then Tamlin and Lucien showed up. With both of Feyre's sisters.
And then Azriel almost died, Hybern holding him hostage as Feyre's sisters were plunged into the Cauldron. You felt every moment, felt every restraint on your body as you tried to get to Azriel. Despite your tenacious relationship with him, he was still your mate. Your first instinct was to protect him and save him at any cost.
You collapsed next to him when his wings were shredded, holding onto him as you all winnowed back without Feyre. You healed his wings as best you could until Madja was there, telling you to stand back. You couldn't leave his side. Not while he was this hurt. Not while he might never fly again. That was already taken away from you. You would not let it happen to your mate.
Your mate. When he was healing was the first time you used it in an enduring way. Not towards him, but to Mor. Who came in and asked how he was doing. "My mate is doing fine." You growled out, obviously agitated that another female was in the room. Nonetheless, one that he had pined over for centuries.
When he was healed, you stayed in Velaris. Opting to help Rhys figure out a way to get Feyre back from Spring safe and sound. Now that she was High Lady, and your sister by law, you had even more to worry about when it came to your family.
And then Azriel started to hang around Elain. Steering her around like a puppy he found on the side of the street. You started to notice similarities to him and Mor, when he would follow her around. Doting on her every need.
Once night, you had enough. You went to Rhys immediately, the jealously in your gut building the rage inside of you.
"I'm going back to Autumn. I can send you encoded notes from there. I'll be closer if anything happened to Feyre and she needs a way out." You declared. Rhys didn't put up a fight, understanding your frustration.
You gave Azriel the courtesy of leaving a note, explaining to him that if he wanted to act like a true mate, he would help you. If he instead wanted to dot on Elain, who was barely more than a shell of a faerie, he wouldn't come to Autumn. He would stay in Velaris and do just that: be Elain's keeper.
So you traveled to Autumn and stayed in your cabin, worry clinging to you more and more as the hours passed by. Why had you given Azriel a choice? Why did you leave without saying anything? Why didn't you talk to him?
The questions consumed you so much you didn't hear the first knock at the door. Or the second. But you heard the third as the familiar male pounded harder and called our your name.
Part Four (Azriel) | Alt Ending (Eris)
A/N: A little cliffhanger... who is going to be on the other side of the door???
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PROMPTS FOR ENEMIES TO LOVERS * assorted dialogue for that slow build up of reluctant interest and romantic curiosity between enemies, adjust as necessary
you didn't have to help me, you know. you could have just left me there.
are you... flirting with me? was that flirting?
dinner's on me. we can work out our differences then.
you're not as bad as i thought.
i'm shocked. that was actually impressive, what you just did. i didn't think you had it in you.
we've been going at it for hours.
this doesn't mean i like you.
please step out of my way.
if you just gave me a chance to prove myself...
you've got me all wrong.
i don't actually hate you.
i didn't know you could do that.
you don't have to believe everything they tell you about me.
you're kinda cute for an asshole.
i'm not here to be made fun of.
it was just a kiss. it didn't mean anything.
when did i ask you for advice?
let me make this clear. i don't like you. i will never like you. i am just using you for your expertise, and that's it.
i don't care what you think of me.
why can't you just see me for me?
it's a shame you're such an asshole.
we could have had something.
that was before i realized who you were.
i think i deserve a little respect.
why do you keep looking at me like that?
stop staring at my ass!
maybe i misjudged you.
i was pretty mean back then, wasn't i?
i never gave you a chance to explain yourself.
you're not as bad as i thought you'd be.
let's bury the hatchet.
i heard that!
what were you saying about me?
was that... a compliment?
i think we got off on the wrong foot.
let's try again. let me reintroduce myself.
can we call a truce?
we're never going to get anything done if we're at each other's throats.
are you the one that vouched for me?
i'll have to admit... that was pretty great.
think of the things we could accomplish if we just worked together.
you need my help. i need yours.
what you did back there... that was impressive.
i didn't ask for your help back there.
why are you helping me?
i thought you hated my guts.
that was a little uncalled for.
great, but i still don't trust you.
stop staring at me like that.
we both have something the other needs.
i don't need a babysitter.
let's start over. try this again.
you're the one who got us into this mess, not me.
i thought you said you didn't want to help me.
maybe it would be smarter if we worked together.
i don't like working with you, but maybe i have to.
this would be a lot easier if you just listened to me.
why do you hate me so much?
you're the one that kissed me!
i never gave you a chance to explain yourself.
they were wrong about you. i... was wrong about you.
there's a lot more to me than meets the eye.
you're not so bad yourself.
what ever happened to "i will never work with you as long as i live?"
what made you change your mind about me?
i can take care of myself, you know.
#mine#mcflymemes#romantic prompts#dramatic prompts#roleplay memes#rp meme#rp memes#rp prompt#roleplay prompt#rp starters#ask meme#ask memes#roleplay meme#roleplay inbox prompts#rp inbox meme#inbox prompt#inbox meme#sentence starter prompt#sentence starter#sentence starters#enemies to lovers
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Hi, can we get some headcanons for Billy, Lycaon and Anton with a reader whose super strong and during a mission where their partner gets hurt, is able to bridal carry them with ease? The guys deserve being able to be bridal carried
They do in fact deserve being bridal carried
I was once told about bridal carrying in cdrama where the guy usually can’t actually pick up the girl, let alone carry her long enough to finish the shot, so they have the girl sit on something and hide the fact that she’s not even being carried like excuse me it’s not *that* hard
And then the guys blame the girl for being too heavy even though the girls are usually like decently under 100lbs???
So I would assume none of our big guys would expect to be carried bridal style anytime soon :(
Headcanons were made assuming you work at the same company/are in the same group as them (I imagine cross-group missions are probably infrequent, and if you’re a freelancer you probably worked with them enough to be familiar with their respective groups)
Billy
Freaks about getting hurt, but whether he actually feels it is questionable (is it possible for him to turn off pain reception? Perchance, might be more convenient than thinking about how much everything hurts on a mission); you should comfort him anyway
More about loss of function/inability to move, so if he’s being bridal carried it’s likely some issue with his torso or legs
Initially jokes about how you need to slow down a bit for him, but doesn’t expect you to scoop him up and keep moving at the same speed as before
He’s literally metal??
Might yelp upon the scoopening, but insists it never happened
If the mission is still ongoing, he’ll try to keep shooting to keep enemies off your back since your arms are occupied (with him! Oh gosh he’s feeling things in his mechanical heart that are uhh not normal, maybe that’s malfunctioning too??)
Yaps about your strength, which miiight be on par with the Starlight Knights
His uhh knight in shining armor
He may or may not ask you to pick him up again later, but who wouldn’t when they learn there’s someone who can make them feel small and safe
Anyway can Monica pick him up like that? Probably not
May get into the habit of jumping into your arms if he gets startled/scared, and only because he knows you can handle the sudden change without a large chance of falling over (the others in the Cunning Hares he’s not quite sure of and probably would just hide behind them before realizing what it is that startled him)
May get in your lap on the ‘company couch’, aka the one in the apartment they all live in, and interlock his fingers on the other side of your neck to have a nice pseudo-bridal carry, but only when the others aren’t there to tease and distract him from precious carrying time (if dating, he will instead yell back asking why he can’t be carried by his partner and ignore screeches to get a room)
Lycaon
Insists he’s fine and can walk on his own, but ends up stumbling even when supported (there’s almost no way he’s going to want to be carried at any earlier point, because what high-end butler gets carried like that? Would rather choose to be carried on someone’s back since the weight distribution is easier to manage that way, whereas a bridal carry puts all the weight in the front with the additional tripping hazard of his giant fluffy tail in the case that he’s unconscious and can’t hold it out of the way for them)
Might be shot in the thigh or something, or his prosthetics are too heavily damaged and are going bad on a ‘less severe’ case requiring him to be carried
Since he’s a close-range fighter, he can’t do much when carried beyond using his arms to smack/punch an enemy away (may later carry more projectiles, just in case)
May initially tense up at being picked up since it was entirely unexpected, but if he’s conscious enough he’ll either act like he’s watching your back to avoid responding to the action or he’ll turn away and mutter a ‘thank you’ (he has to express gratitude for this, after all, otherwise it’d be rude) and hold on so you aren’t inconvenienced any more than you already are
If it was an issue with his prosthetics, he’ll try to avoid it happening again and install more failsafes or reinforce the structure
*picks Lycaon up*
*sharp inhale, freezes*
“Is there something wrong?/did I accidentally put pressure where it hurts?/should I adjust?”
“……no.”
Ends up thinking about you carrying him bridal style A LOT, and his coworkers at Victoria Housekeeping keep noticing his tail wagging a bit for seemingly no reason
Unless you’re similarly large and/or visibly strong, he keeps wondering how it’s possible, even if he knows of your history of being extra strong or knows how much you can bench press or something (even then, sustaining a position like a bridal carry for a long time while running around ends up being harder than a single-motion effort of pushing/pulling something)
Probably asks if you strained something carrying him and prepares remedies beforehand just in case the answer is yes
May try to find a chance to bridal carry you so that it’s even
May also try to drop subtle hints that he actually enjoyed it and wouldn’t mind you continuing to bridal carry him even when it’s not quite necessary, even though it’s horrible for his reputation as the professional
Anton
Initially tries to act tough, tries to make do with leaning on you, etc, but at some point his legs give out or he can’t keep himself upright and it’s not like his bro can do the walking for him
Also expects to be carried on your back or carried by Ben or hauled onto one of Grace’s machines (‘babies’) to get taken back or to be patched up a bit in a hidden corner and rest until he can continue, but gets whisked away in your arms, jacket included
Holds on, of course; what bro would he be if he struggled and made it hard for you to carry him after you helped him out?
Feels very Safe somehow, even though he’s hurting enough to the point where he can’t walk on his own because of how dangerous the mission was
If it’s just you two on the mission, he’ll try and force himself to stay awake enough to keep enemies away from you; otherwise it might be okay for him to relax and let the others handle it (let him sleep, he needs it)
Of course he’ll make up for it later by doing extra on another mission; can’t let you down (you’re one of few people in the company who fully pulls their weight on the job, and he admits to liking you more; for fairness’s sake, he’ll only let on that the performance influenced his judgement and he also tries not to seem biased lest the other workers become discouraged)
Regardless of whether you’re dating, he’d mainly be impressed by your strength and wonders if it’s just your natural strength or if it’s something you built up to; extra impressed if you’re smaller, because how the hell is your arm reaching around his back??
Not the type to get insecure at being bridal carried, though sometimes he wonders why you would go for the more difficult option on a mission (safety first, like in construction); figures you must have your reasons or want to show off or are treating it like a workout, and would let you pick him up again later if you asked
Instead, Anton might actually like you more, since you’ve proven to be capable even when he’s incapacitated (a truly reliable bro)
If dating, may consider putting his face against your neck because it’s right there but decides against it to avoid distracting you (will do so when patched up and at home, though)
#zzz von lycaon#zzz billy#zzz anton#zzz#zenless zone zero#von lycaon#billy zzz#anton zzz#von lycaon zzz#billy kid#anton ivanov#von lycaon x reader#billy kid x reader#anton x reader#fanfiction#me when I forget to add tags before posting#headcanon
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the teacup mirror symbolism is about apostasy btw ->
exhibit a: blake
"we were being treated like equals, but not out of respect; out of fear. so i left."
exhibit b: ozma
"this curse was bestowed upon me by the gods because i failed to stop salem"
exhibit c: salem
"we could become the gods of this world: our powers surpass all others. our souls transcend death."
& exhibit d: ruby
"how did it all get like this?"
<- this is a conversation.
adam is to blake as the god of light is to ozma; blake rejects adam's vision of domination through fear and flees the white fang into what she perceives as the moral sanctuary of the huntsmen academies--noble warriors, pure and good.
but those academies are merely the most recent permutation of ozma's god-fearing zealotry, an institution built on a foundation of his terrified acceptance of the premise that humankind as it is now does not deserve to exist, and must submissively repent or else be annihilated. deep down he knows this--until the end, "the enemy was right" and so forth--so he lies, casting himself as the failure cursed to discipline his defeat at salem's hands.
but salem, pressed on what she truly believes, outlines the case against divine rule in succinct terms: the brothers are not the highest power, and they failed utterly to achieve their ends--they couldn't even kill humankind in a way that mattered, because people were reborn phoenix-like from the ashes--and so remnant and its people owe them nothing at all. it is our world now, she says. we could become more than the old gods could ever be.
how did it all get like this? ruby asks. and the answer is thousands upon thousands of years of ozma's fearful obedience to a god who sent him here to contort remnant into an inescapable saw trap for the apostate scapegoat, who is fighting now to escape by any means necessary.
grips you. when ruby drinks the tea and meets the blacksmith and the blacksmith says "what if you could be anyone?"--ruby is offered ozma's curse exactly, what if you could slip into any like-minded soul, someone who is you but isn't, who is you but Better, would that fix you? and the rhetorical point that the blacksmith intends to make and succeeds in making is that the only person who can be ruby rose is ruby rose. this is what we might call sledgehammer foreshadowing with regard to ozma and how ozma's desperation to be anyone else but ozma (hey man why were you suicidal before you met salem. what broke you, the first time) informs his resignation to the curse that forcibly breaks and remakes him into anyone else, and what needs to happen before he can escape the false-ascension inflicted upon him
#(whispers into a cup) the foreshadowing is less about oscar/ozma being separated through ascension than it is about#salem being the key to that door because: she makes ozma want to live
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SURPRISE! Did you think the day would come when we would cover Love Live on this blog? I didn't!
Yohane the Parhelion: Blaze in the Deepblue is the Metroidvania-style game based on the fantasy spin-off of Love Live Sunshine, but you probably don't care about that! Statistically speaking, our target audience is Bogleech readers who are deeply revolted by anime girls!
So why bring up? Why bring it up? The answer is 🐠 FUNNY FISH! It's Funny Fish Friday!
Since this game is set in an underwater temple, the enemies this game are all based on sea creatures, and that's cool! Again, statistically speaking, you probably think sea creatures are cool. I really liked seeing the variety of enemies when playing through this game, so I thought it'd be fun if I could share them with an audience of people who otherwise wouldn't care! None of the enemies really have names, as far as I'm aware of. But I'll do my Rubesty...?
Our first guy we encounter in the game is the sort of guy who emerges from the ground like the Zombies from Castlevania, and wow! A good first impression I think. It is sort of a squid mantle, if the mantle was also a cloak for a spooky sort of wizard! The way it doesn't really have a 'face' in the hood and the eye is below really makes it seem like a weird mimic creature. Cool!
They also get a tough lategame variant which looks like a mix between a flapjack and a vampire squid. You don't often see flapjacks be designed as scary!
---
Next is Barnacles! A whole clump of them, like a cake. They shoot Energy Balls at you. Is this what Barnacles can do if they combine their powers...? The top actually opens up, and it looks a lot like a sea urchin's mouth! So maybe it is some sort of naked urchin creature covered in barnacles? Game Theory!
There are also barnacles with Ice Powers. Like real life!
---
Let's give it up for Garden Eel!!!!
What a fine Garden Eel it is! Complete with the sort of grumpy face, and with the addition of two little arms that make it look like it's praying or maybe a bit shy. But it is mean! It also spits energy balls at you, then hides in the hole so you can't hit it. How very sneaky!
SO sneaky, in fact, that these eels have mastered the art of ninjutsu! The ninja eel shows up for a split second in one single room, before smoke bombing away. You'd have to use a time freeze power to get him, but I never got around to doing that. I don't have any beef with a ninja eel! I respect him and his training!
Did someone say CTENOPHORE? I hope you did, or my hearing has really gotten worse. This thing is a grade A ctenophore, only with a ring of Scary Teeth! A little scary to think of a ctenophore who could Bite you, but nonetheless this deserves a :ctenopog:!
---
Let's not forget Fish Vortex! Fish Vortex was the first guy to make me go 'wow, this game's enemies really are awesome!' So of course I had to put him at the top of the post! He is my selling point! I am selling all these enemies to you. For 4.99 a pop!
Anyway. This design is just so funny and cool at the same time. A swirling school of fish that leads into an endless dark abyss, and in the middle, a big eyeball. Also covered in fish. It shoots fish at you! Yay!
There is also a pink variant - it shoots fish that give you the Solitude status effect, which basically just makes Yohane too depressed to summon her friends. Meaning? They are Depression Fish! Maybe she just becomes so jealous of the unity and teamwork of these sardines. She's me like just for real! ^_^
---
isopot :)
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This slug is an umbrella. That is ridiculous! Ridiculously EPIC! It does the opposite of shield you from rain, which is create rain, that kills you. But I would still want one as an umbrella.
---
When I first saw this thing, I thought it was some strange round Echimoderm I had never heard of. But upon further inspection (I actually asked Mod Chikako shh), it is obviously like a Brittle Star, with each arm folded round to form a wheel! How creative and fun! It even has a bunch of eyes like a starfish!
---
Last but not least- sushi! There are sushi guys and they are cute. They don't really do much and are typically found in their own rooms, so I'm not sure what the point of them is. But finding a funny walking sushi should be a reward in of itself, I guess! Look at their funny rice feet! Or the one with the roe eyes!
I happened to use fire magic on one of them and this happened. Oopsies...
Now I am sure you are saying, thank you for showing me all these funny enemies. But are there any cool bosses? Of course there are, me! What's a Metroidvania without cool bosses? So I shall show you my favorites without delay!
First is this freak (affectionate)! It is a sort of amalgamation of lots of different animals and I think it just looks plain cool! Two squid mantles combined into one, a bit of a sea angel shape, bug legs and of course a great big eyeball!
If it is not freaky enough for you, let it be known that the bug legs turn into big green skeleton hands, and it also keeps getting pinker, and it grows new eyes and then extra horns grow out of those eyes. If THAT is not freaky enough for you then I am sorry but I cannot do anything about that.
---
Now, how about a sampling of this Freaken Thang? It honestly doesn't seem that sea-creature themed, but it uses seashells so I guess it counts!
What is really neat is that this boss has two different forms, upside down and rightside up! When it is upside down it looks a bit like a Magolor type creature. And of course, I really like the flame thing in the middle as well, that really feels like a Kirby enemy or something! Like a wisp made of plasma!
---
Fans of Anomalocaris won't be disappointed by this one! It's a big Anomalocaris tank and boy is it cool! There's something for everyone here, whether you're an Anomalocaris purist or you've always wanted to see it turn into a sort of futuristic beast with a screen mouth that shoots lasers! It really is the future, zura...
---
After covering all these wacky creatures, I'm going to have to end it off with the final boss! What could the big bad, the ultimate boss of all these sea monsters even be, I wonder? Well, it's...
...a coelecanth. Just a big coelacanth! It is big and blue! And really, does it need to be anything else? It is such an honor to make the biggest ultimate boss a coelacanth. It is even pretty cute!! Think he's smiling! 😊
Uh oh! Is it still cute? I guess so. My first thought seeing this was of course the world-renowned tongue eating isopod, so I really hope it was an intentional reference! It probably just wants to shake hands. Still, a pretty simplistic design for our final boss, right?
Buu buu! Its true form actually looks like this! Actually, it's kind of doing too much. Like let's tone it down a little?
So!! We beat the mega ultra coelacanth, and now we can find out what his motivation is! And it is... that he is the memories of the people of the past or something. And they all didn't want to be forgotten, so they turned into fish monsters! But we forgive them!
It doesn't really matter. All the girlies gather around and sing him a song. Look how happy he is! I forgot I was talking about a Love Live game until now, actually. All's well that ends well, the end, et cetera! Hit it, Yohane! [imagine this is like the end of a kids movie where all the Love Live girls are having a dance party and there is a shot of the big coelacanth in jail and he's tapping his mouth fingers along to the beat]
#funky friday#yohane the parhelion#genjitsu no yohane#yohane the parhelion: blaze in the deepblue#not mario#mod f boy#yes it was me! i was the weeb mod who played the love live game!#and now i must burden you all!#i wrote this all in one go hooray for ritalin#tw anime girls
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My God (2)
If last night's events are already stressful as it is, today's much worse than ever. With a visit to your father's office, what could go wrong?
Oh yeah, everything!
a/n: okaaaaay, so i'm halfway Chapter 3 as of posting this one >.<
I reaaally appreciate all your notes, reblogs, & comments for the taglist – it makes my heart flutter so much & it gets me so excited to finish this story already T^T
Pairing: Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: fluff + angst, Yakuza AU, Enemies to Lovers Word Count: 2,877 All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.
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Taglist: @cr1sta11y @idk-bro-gay @tojis-ball-sack @thepurpleempath @fangirl-332 @jijijihanji @thedondiva45
As the first light of dawn crept into your room, a small gap in the blackout curtains that you forgot to fully close last night betrayed your efforts to keep the morning at bay. Yep, definitely starting the day this bad, how else will the rest of the day be like?
“Fuck,” you exclaimed so early in the morning. Or so you thought. Grabbing your phone from your nightstand, you tapped the screen to peek the time.
9:54 AM.
With a groan, you closed and threw your phone somewhere in your room and laid down on your stomach. Face clearly being suffocated by your pillows. This life sucks.
“Why does it have to feel this way?” You said with a groan.
Flipping around, and lying on your back, you stared blankly at the ceiling. Absolutely feeling so devoid of everything in life. Your eyes are as empty as the void. It’s like everything was sucked out of you.
Dragging yourself out of bed, you walked over to the window and yanked the curtains shut, shutting out the intrusive light. The darkness offered a slight comfort from the harsh reality of the day ahead, but you knew you couldn't hide forever.
With a heavy sigh, you forced yourself to your feet and began getting ready for the day. Each movement felt like a chore, every action weighed down by the burden of disappointment and betrayal. I hate everyone already.
As you made your way downstairs, the familiar sights and sounds of your family's mansion served as a stark reminder of the life you were born into. Despite the opulence that surrounded you, you couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that gnawed at your insides.
Walking to your father's office, you braced yourself for the inevitable confrontation that awaited. The door loomed ominously before you, a silent barrier between you and the truth that lay beyond.
With a heavy sigh, you told yourself, “Here goes nothing.”
Summoning all your courage, you pushed open the door and stepped inside, steeling yourself for whatever may come. Little did you know, the events of the day were about to take a turn you never saw coming.
—
“Okay, first of all? What the fuck!” You erupted, your voice dripping with anger and disbelief as you confronted your father.
His face tightened in disappointment at your choice of words, “Language, dear,” he chided, his tone laced with irritation.
Yeah, never mind all the fucking respect he deserves. Scoffing at him, you paid his scolding no mind, too consumed by the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you.
“Might I remind you,” pacing back and forth, you continued with your voice trembling with pent-up rage, “that you promised me a lot. A fucking LOT of times! That I’m the next head, only to have you pass it over to Sukuna – who by the way isn’t even a part of our family. I’m your family, your flesh and blood, damn it! I’m not even processing this properly yet and now you’re telling me that you already got me on a fucking arranged marriage to someone from the Gojo family? Oh, fuck off, father!”
Your father remained unmoved, his expression unreadable as he calmly countered your tirade. “Honey, it’s just the way it is. Take it or leave it. And, for once, try to act like a respectable daughter,” he retorted, his words like a slap in the face, dismissing your turmoil cold-heartedly.
His indifference fueled your frustration further, and you fought to contain the seething anger threatening to boil over. “I can’t believe this,” you muttered, the weight of betrayal heavy in your chest with your fidgeting fingers.
With a dismissive wave of his hand, your father returned his attention to his book that you unfortunately cut him off from reading earlier, effectively ending the conversation. “I’m busy. Come back when you’re done with your tantrum. Now, leave.”
“I’m not gonna do as you say this time. I’m not gonna marry anyone from that fucking family,” you confidently declared with the fire still burning within you. “I’m not gonna be your fucking pawn, father. I’m leaving this family. So, deal with it.”
Fuming with indignation, you stormed out his office. And, let’s not forget, you slammed the door hard when you left.
This is not the day I’ve envisioned to have today.
—
Back in your room, the weight of the recent events bore down on you like a heavy burden, pressing against your chest with a suffocating intensity.
Yet, there are no tears threatening to fall down anytime soon, just the palpable heartache and silent screams echoing through the depths of your soul. Please, I’m too strong for this.
As a way to make yourself calmer, that can help you gather your thoughts, you decided to go to your restaurant. Yes, the restaurant your father gifted on your 18th birthday. It’s apparently his gift symbolizing his support for your aspirations outside the family’s legacy.
A bitter scoff escaped your lips, “Well, fuck legacy.” Words heavy with anger. As you made your way out your room towards the mansion’s carport, you know in yourself that you got to leave this place. “Yeah, I won’t go back home here,” you mutter to yourself as you approach your car.
Sliding into the driver’s seat, you revved the engine, the purr of the powerful machine echoing throughout the carport. But, as you were getting ready to live, your thoughts inevitably turned to the arranged marriage your father and the Gojo family had arranged.
Just the mere mention of this family sent shivers down your spine. Yeah, I fucking hate that family. They’ve been your family’s rival from the start. Always the territorial disputes, the dirty, underhanded tactics, and the arrogance that runs throughout every family member.
And, then there was Satoru – the one your father chose as your groom. Well, he has no choice, Satoru’s the only heir of his family, definitely of flesh and blood.
To call him attractive would be an understatement – Satoru has that magnetic, alluring charm that was impossible to ignore. Heck, he’s beautiful. With those azure eyes, fluffy white hair, and velvety voice, he’s every woman’s dream – except you. You’re not even sure why you think his hair’s fluffy!
But, all beautiful things have ugly sides. And his was a huge ass dent to his looks. He’s a fucking asshole. Clenching your jaw, you tore yourself away from your thoughts and the carport, steering yourself towards the way to your restaurant.
The drive to the restaurant made you forget everything for a moment. With each passing mile, you felt the tension in your shoulders begin to ease. As you pulled into the parking lot, the sight of your restaurant filled you with a sense of calmness.
Stepping out into the cool embrace of the wind, you savored this feeling that offers a temporary calmness within the raging storm inside you.
“I’m so glad to be back,” you murmured to yourself.
Pushing open the door to the restaurant, you were greeted by the familiar sights and sounds of the bustling kitchen, the savory aroma of spices and herbs filling the air. Your staff, surprised by your unannounced visit, immediately greeted you with a mixture of surprise and fear. You rarely visit. Rarely.
You may own this business, but, you couldn’t really care less about the business side of these things as you’re too busy learning everything your father taught you with. And, this one’s not a part of it. Or, so you think!
He just gave this one to you when he learned you love to cook – which definitely by the way is a short occurrence in your life. You were bored, you learned how to cook, you made everything you’ve been craving for, and now you were bored, again.
But, you can’t deny the calmness that cooking brings you. It takes you out of your thoughts and just focus on prepping and cooking everything up.
Uraume, your most trusted confidante and your restaurant’s head chef, immediately approached you with a knowing look.“You’re only here when you’re stressed,” they remarked, their tone a mixture of sympathy and understanding.
You chuckled wryly as you made your way towards your office. “Yeah and today is no exception,” you replied, the weight of the previous events pressing heavily upon you. “I’ll whip something up in the kitchen. You know what to do.”
As you entered your office, you felt the sense of zen and calm wash over you. With each passing moment of taking in the familiar surrounding, the tension began to ebb away. You slipped into your chef’s jacket, your mind already buzzing with ideas for today’s creations.
Glancing at the clock, you noted the time – 11:21 AM. Perfect timing. Your restaurant is supposed to open in a few minutes, but you instituted a rule long ago: when you were here, no one is allowed to enter the kitchen, and the restaurant will be closed to the public.
A tub of orange chicken sounds nice.
—
Sukuna's luxurious penthouse was filled with the soothing sound of water coming from the shower as he emerged from the steam-filled bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. With a flick of his hand, he silenced the insistent ringing of his phone, its screen lighting up with a call from Uraume, his most trusted confidante.
Walking across the marble floor towards his bedroom, his thoughts drifted to you, your demeanor from last night.
He knows you’ve been expecting to become the next head. He knows how frustrated you are feeling after the announcement has been made. He just knows. And, it amuses him to see your reaction, the way you wore your emotions so openly. He’s keen on observing you.
“Cute,” he mused to himself with a glint of amusement in his eyes.
Dressing himself in a black slack with an unnecessary tight black folded sleeves, definitely outlining his sexy physique, topped with a suspender, Sukuna admired his reflection in the mirror. Yeah, more like it. His demeanor exuding with such confidence, power, and authority.
Adjusting his reading glasses, his mind buzzed with what’s to come for the day – negotiate with the Naoya from the Zenin family regarding the territorial disputes, dealing with the underground firearm deliveries he missed last night – all in a day’s work for a man of his calibre.
Yet, amidst the chaos of his busy schedule, thoughts of you lingered, an unexpected distraction in his otherwise meticulously organized life.
Shaking this off, Sukuna stepped out onto the expansive balcony overlooking the city skyline. Before he could go on with his day, there was one matter that demanded his attention. Gotta see princess first.
As he reached for his car keys, Sukuna’s thoughts went back to you, a nagging reminder he couldn’t quite shake. How the fuck are you doing now. And, he can’t believe he’s this worried about you.
Brushing aside the thought for the nth time, Sukuna exited the penthouse with a confident stride, the door closing behind him with a soft click.
As he was walking towards the elevator, his phone buzzed with an incoming text message. Glancing at the screen, a smirk tugged at his lips as he read the words: “She’s here.”
“Talk about coincidence,” he chuckled to himself.
Yeah, he can’t wait to meet you.
—
Sukuna stepped out of his sleek black car, the sharp click of his shoes against the pavement. He approached the entrance of the restaurant – which has a sign that says ‘closed’ – and his gaze fixed with a single purpose: to see you.
Pushing open the door that Uraume left unlocked for him, he stepped into the warmth of the restaurant, the savory aroma of the spices and herbs enveloped the cool air. The whole place is completely deserted with only Uraume sitting at one table.
“Where is she,” Sukuna commanded as Uraume pointed towards the kitchen as their answer.
Sukuna’s eyes swept across the room, his gaze setting on the bustling kitchen where you were too focused on. There was a flicker of intrigue in his eyes as he watched you move, completely absorbed in your culinary hobby. You once told him that it was just a hobby and it sticked to him.
As he approached to observe you, the noise of the kitchen seemed to dim. Sukuna’s presence filled the space around you. Sensing him, a prickling sensation at the back of your neck sent a shiver down your spine. Can’t this day get any better?
Turning, you met his gaze head-on, your expression guarded. Yeah, still attractive. You roamed your eyes on his whole physique, with a quick glance at his folded arms that showed his defined biceps. Okay, wrong move because the fluttering pterodactyls in your stomach are back.This made you sigh and cut your gaze off him.
“What do you want?” You asked, your voice tinged with a hint of irritation and skepticism. Sukuna’s smirk only widened at your boldness, his eyes glinting with amusement.
“I came to see you, princess,” he replied smoothly, his tone dripping with charm. You swear even without looking at him, you can see his smug smile that you want to wipe off his face and kiss – okay, what the fuck was that?
You rolled your eyes at his flirtatious tone and breathed heavily to clear up your thoughts, choosing to focus on your cooking instead. Sukuna’s presence is a distraction you didn’t need, especially not today. To top it off, you’re not ready for another confrontation.
“I don’t have time for your games, Sukuna,” you retorted, your voice firm. “If you’re here to eat, then see yourself out.”
Sukuna chuckled at this with his hands unfolding to raise it to a low surrender pose, “I don’t have games for you, princess. You know that. Just came here to check in on you.”
“How did you even know I’m here?”
“Uraume.” Oh, yeah. Even though Uraume’s your trusted confidante, they also are Sukuna’s trusted confidante. It just works like that.
Sukuna’s response only fueled your frustration further. The pterodactyls in your stomach long gone. Of course, Uraume would rather reveal your whereabouts to him that tell you how they even got close with Sukuna. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of annoyance at that.
"I assure you, princess, I mean no harm," he reassured, his voice smooth as silk. "I simply wanted to see how you're holding up after last night.” Yeah, he’s here to gloat.
Last night. The mere mention of it sent a wave of emotions crashing over you – anger, betrayal, frustration. You clenched your jaw, fighting to keep your composure in front of him.
“I’m fine. You can have the fucking title as the head of the family all you want. I’m out of this family,” you replied curtly. Sukuna raised an eyebrow, his expression a mix of amusement and skepticism, as he leaned casually against the wall near the door.
“Why leave?” He challenged, his voice dripping with casual disdain. “You’re just proving to your father that you’re not deserving to be a head. Too weak for this shit, princess?”
“Oh, fuck off, ’Kuna. You don’t know anything,” you shot back, your tone sharp with annoyance.
Sukuna’s facade of nonchalance faltered for a moment, replaced by a feigned hurt expression. “It hurts my pride that you don’t acknowledge me that much, princess,” he said, his words clearly laced with mock sincerity.
“I can see it in your face,” he continued, his tone shifting to one of quiet intensity. “You don’t think I deserve to be the head.”
“Because you really don’t,” you retorted, your words cutting through the tension like a knife. “You’re not even blood-related to father, to us. Just a stranger who climbed up the ranks.” Yeah, you’re quite harsh on this one.
Sukuna’s smirk only widened at your brutal honesty. “Yet, a stranger better than the supposed one-and-only heir,” he quipped, his amusement evident.
Fed up with the conversation, you flipped him off.
Sukuna chuckled, his laughter filling the space between you that made your eyes roll – you swear, you almost blacked out from that eye roll.
“Well, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me. I’m just a phone call away, princess. You know and I know that I’m on your speed dial,” he said with a wink and a smug smirk yet his tone is surprisingly genuine and a bit flirtatious.
But before he could make his exit, you called out to him, the desperation evident in your voice. “Wait.”
Oh, fuck his captivating eyes. Fuck his infuriatingly sexy smirk. Fuck the way his muscles strained against his tight shirt. Fuck those damn eyeglasses that he doesn’t even have to wear because he has a clear vision! Fuck everything, it’s all too much. I just need a way out so fuck my plan, too.
Sukuna paused, turning back to fix his gaze on you with a newfound intense curiosity glinting in his eyes. “Missed me already, princess?” His lips curled into a smug grin as he spoke, a hint of amusement lacing his words.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you gathered the courage to blurt out the unexpected request.
“Marry me, ‘Kuna.”
#sukuna#sukuna x reader#yakuza!au sukuna#jjk x reader#jjk#sukuna x you#au sukuna#my god#jjk x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk sukuna#yakuza au#jujutsu kaisen
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The Companions and Separation Anxiety
So something occurred to me while working on a WIP. It mostly started with Astarion, but then drifted to consider the others you could romance as well. I was mostly thinking of Star at the time, and the others came from conversation
If you consider everything that happened, from the moment they met, Tav and Star have never really spent any time apart for maybe longer than a few hours at most. And yes, I'd considered even the times he's left at camp. Because even if he's left at camp, all of them have that underlying mission and the need to rely on their allies. For all the allies that you gather in the game, you still keep everyone outside of your little group at something of an arms length. The only ones that spend even a little bit of time at your camp in the same vein as the rest of your companions are Dame Aylin and Isobel (no I'm not counting Alfira, because in Durge runs she isn't likely to survive a single night XDD poor baby).
All of our time is spent with our companions from the moment we meet, and for the ones we romance, I don't think it'd be far fetched to think that after everything is said and done, the brain and all other enemies dealt with, our chosen romanced companion could very well have some measure of separation anxiety if Tav/Durge had need to leave their side for longer than a day or two.
Especially with Astarion I think he would be hit hardest in this, because before his adventure with everyone, he had no choice but to watch everyone he might have had even a flicker of feelings for being taken away and never return. Kudos where he deserves them, he did a LOT of growing during the journey, but old habits die hard too. So even if he's in a better place at the end, he could very well experience some measure of separation anxiety the first time they need to really be apart from each other. This could be even worse if playing a Durge, as it might be a bit more intense considering he's already experienced his partner dying in front of him and being completely helpless to do anything to stop it before Withers steps in.
With Durge, Astarion had spent 200 years praying to every god he knew for a savior from his torment, watching as everything, every piece of himself was taken away from him. Then, the first truly good thing to happen to him, the first person who acknowledged him as someone worthy of love and respect, was ripped away from him by a god. And once again, he couldn't do anything to stop it. Even with Withers bringing them back, I doubt he's going to be completely fine with Tav/Durge being too far away from him for a while.
I'd imagine Gale and Shadow might have similarly bad reactions, yet not quite to the level that Star may get. They would also have comparable ways of dealing with it I think, reassuring Tav/Durge that they're fine, and that they understand, but their mannerisms aren't as assured as they usually are, and their words may be more clipped and sharp. They just really don't want to think about it, and try their best to ignore it.
Lae'zel I think would just, do everything physical to try not thinking about it. She acts like she's not worried about them, when in reality she's secretly counting the seconds until they're home. She keeps it all inside, because realistically she knows they can handle themselves, but she's not the emotional type. I think she might try losing herself in training. Like she's just, working herself to near exhaustion, putting in every effort to not think about it.
Honestly I think the only ones who wouldn't really be hit by it would be Wyll and Karlach. Like, they'd still feel the worry, but they'd be the ones to handle it best. Wyll and Karlach have been used to being on their own for quite a while before the tadpole, and judging by their dialogue during the reunion, I would guess they may still worry, but it wouldn't truly bother them unless they got word that Tav/Durge was in some serious trouble.
Halsin would likely be the only one who would be a middle-ground in all this I think. He'd do everything he could with the kids and the village, but then if he finds himself with enough time to think about it, he'd probably just, I dunno, chop some wood and build a table or something XDDDD Tav/Durge would come home to find that he's got a whole new 12 person table with chairs and carved dining set and cutlery. He's also carved a mother and father duck gently touching beaks as a centerpiece, and all the other carved ducklings have the names of everyone he knows carefully carved into them and placed in front of each seat. He's also been talking to them. People have been worried about him, but they didn't want to say anything XDDDD
#bg3 astarion#bg3 tav#baldurs gate 3#bg3 karlach#bg3 wyll#bg3 shadowheart#bg3 gale#bg3 lae'zel#bg3 halsin#bg3 headcanons#halsin silverbough#lae'zel of k'liir#shadowheart#jenevelle hallowleaf#wyll ravengard#astarion ancunin#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#karlach cliffgate
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I saw this great post by @respectthepetty this morning related to Unknown and other Taiwanese dramas that depict pseudo-incest romances, and it reminded me that I've been meaning to write up some thoughts about why this trope is so interesting to a lot of us.
Let me just set some boundaries first, because it's a big potential topic. Depictions of incest or pseudo-incest are plentiful and occur in media from all corners of the globe, and there are lots of different forms it can take. I'm most interested in the version of it currently being depicted in Unknown, which is a relationship change narrative about two people who are not blood related but grew up considering each other family only for those feelings to morph into something different over time. This trope can be hard for some people to stomach because the lines we maintain in our heads about what types of feelings we are supposed to have for the various people in our lives are firm, and it's uncomfortable when they're challenged. But that's what makes the story so interesting. And it's not the only romance trope that wrestles with this kind of change.
Two of the most popular romance tropes of all time are also rooted in a relationship change narrative: enemies to lovers and friends to lovers. When these tropes are executed well, the thrill in the story is watching the characters come to a realization of their changing feelings (never at the same time), wrestle with the angst and uncertainty and external strife that causes, and finally decide to fight for the relationship they want despite the risks. Changing the way you think about someone, and changing the way they think about you, is hard and scary and can feel like a huge threat to the relationships you already have. Sound familiar? It should, because these are the same core beats of a pseudo-incest romance.
But this trope adds an even more intriguing layer on top of all those already juicy dynamics, which is the cultural taboo. Pseudo-incest is seen as wrong and considered by most cultures to be a violation of family norms. To put it bluntly, you're not supposed to want to fuck your brother. And so these romances have a whole added challenge on top of all the internal conflict, because the couple not only has to come to terms with their own feelings and struggle through the pain to get on the same page with each other, they also have to deal with the judgment of everyone around them who feels their relationship is morally wrong. The cultural taboo means that everyone else in their lives has to change the way they think about their relationship, too.
So why do we love these stories? Because the character dynamics and relationship development at the core of them are fascinating. When done right, these are the kind of romances you really firmly believe in, because the feelings are so deep they can't be ignored and by the end you've watched the characters fight like hell to be together. A drama that takes this trope seriously will depict the whole journey with the respect the characters deserve and tend to all the relevant relationships surrounding the couple. Unknown is not finished airing yet, but so far it has been a stellar example of this kind of narrative and that's why so many of us are singing its praises.
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YANDERE FATGUM HEADCANONS
Have you SEEN how RIPPED this guy can be? One teensy little slip up, he will not hesitate to take severe and drastic measures for making you behave. Don't get fooled by his looks, and like people say, don't judge a book by its cover. Despite his innocent and harmless friendly side towards you, if you drive him over the edge, or if he's interacting with his rival, he WILL reveal his scary dark side
This guy is delusional and possessive as a yandere. He has the image of you both happily married and you having his kids in his head and thinks you both were DESTINED to be with each other. Everytime you praise him for something or compliment him, it's just going to add up to MORE of his deluded fantasies
He's also going to be very overprotective of you since he views you as a tiny defenseless kitten that needs to be protected. He won't do anything that'll make you uncomfortable, in fact, he is very well aware that his feelings for you weren't normal at all, but, he'll still kidnap you. He'll give you as much time as you want to adjust to your new lifestyle since he understands you'll be frightened and scared
He won't force himself upon you but sometimes, once in a while, he WILL demand cuddles from you. That's IT. And maybe some light forehead kisses. Nothing more, nothing less, PERIODT. He won't keep you tied up and all that. He'll just place a quirk cancelling cuff on your ankle and he'll let you roam around the house whenever you want
He's the 'I'm sadistic with others and not with you' type of yandere. At least, that's what I think. With you, he'll behave like an obsessed love-struck puppy that'll look like a KICKED puppy when you don't return his affections but with the others, he'll be the living entity of HELL himself and frankly, this man is scary when he's angry
He'll take his time torturing his rivals and his enemies. He just wants you to be safe and feel protected by him. And of course, like every other yandere, he's afraid of losing you and someone trying to steal you away
Speaking of him cuddling you, you're so tiny compared to him that his entire hand almost covers your whole stomach as he clutches you to his chest in a bone crushing embrace. But, don't worry, he'll give you space to breathe. But you still can't help get the feeling of him snapping your neck in half like a twig if you do something wrong though he promised he won't lay even a finger on you. This guy drinks his respect women juice and even DROWNS in it. He's a very gentlemanly guy
If you act up, his face will quickly darken, but he'll just hold your wrists to his chest till he gets you to stop wriggling and behaving badly and THEN, he'll smother you in MORE affection because he feels the reason you're acting up was because he wasn't giving you enough attention
A request, don't talk about other people too frequently while you're with him unless you want hear about their 'accidental' deaths the next day on the news channel. He's the type of yandere who DESPISES and HATES it when you speak about other people and when you think of them. Why can't you just focus only on HIM? Those attention seeking rascals don't deserve to even LOOK at you. So. he'll just his connections and his influence as a pro hero and hire some people to kill that person to make it look like an accident
Will never insult you. He'll just scold you gently like some naughty toddler. Overall, he's not that bad of a yandere to you but trust me, you don't want to see his dark side.....
''My sweet little dumpling, I wonder how we'll look together when we have a family of our own. It'll be splendid won't it?''
#yandere bnha#yandere bnha x reader#yandere fatgum#yandere fatgum x reader#yandere fatgum headcanons#yandere fatgum imagines#yandere fatgum oneshots#yandere fatgum scenarios#yandere taishiro toyomitsu#yandere taishiro toyomitsu x reader
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Dear Dead Boy Detectives fandom: I know you're angry and sad about cancellation. So am I. But I am pleading with you not to take it out on the other shows that Netflix has renewed.
The people involved in these other shows are not the ones to blame for DBD not getting a S2, and neither are their fans. It was not their decision. It was not within their power. They're just trying to make their own show. Plus, they also have a sword hanging over their heads.
Netflix's bar to be able to keep existing is so impossibly high that no show except maybe Wednesday and Bridgerton are safe. Honestly, Wednesday might be on the chopping block too if it doesn't do insane numbers for S2. Sabrina was once a big hit for them, but that went downhill fast.
The common enemy is unrealistic expectations, homogeneity and corporate greed, not another show that got renewed. Yes, Netflix is renewing "safe" (aka straight, mass-appeal shows) more than others. But those straight, mass-appeal shows should be allowed to exist alongside queer, subversive, niche shows. It shouldn't be either-or.
In fact, in an ideal world, those mass appeal shows should be bringing in the $$ that allows the more niche shows to thrive. Sure, point out that Netflix is axing queer shows more than straight ones! That's so important to point out and very damning. But there's a way to do that without attacking the shows themself. The criticism is with Netflix and their cowardice, not the fact that these other shows exist.
Plus! Not all the shows Netflix are hyping right now are mass appeal and straight. KAOS is a very subversive, highly original, well-acted and crucially, a VERY queer show. So it's disappointing to see the DBD fandom coming at KAOS when it's just as queer, if not more queer than DBD (by sheer volume of characters, which admittedly isn't the most fair metric considering KAOS is a large ensemble show.) Its queerness manifests in the fabric of the world and in a variety of gender identities, ages and body types.
I know our hearts are hurting, but I think it's important to remember who the bad guys are. These other shows are like the coworker who got lucky enough to not get laid off, or the new hire walking into the office after a round of layoffs. They're not to blame, the bosses are. They're just trying to make a living.
And listen, I'm not saying you have to support these other shows. If you want to vote with your feet and not watch or support any other Netflix shows, that's your prerogative and I respect that. But be kind to the other shows and keep the anger focused on Netflix HQ: aka the people responsible for cancellations.
Imagine if DBD had gotten S2. How would we feel if we were trying to be excited only to have the fans of a different cancelled show say our thing doesn't deserve to exist, or that it's less queer, or less worthy than the show that got cancelled? It'd suck, right?
We want to build bridges with the other fandoms. We want solidarity. Fandoms attacking each other only lets the real bad guys off the hook.
#dead boy detectives#kaos#netflix#netflix shows#cancellation#streaming#netflix cancellation#fandom discourse#queer media#queer tv#queerness#save dead boy detectives
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𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐘 (𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟒) 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒. all quotes and sentences were taken from the movie troy (2004). change locations, names and pronouns as you see fit. mentions of war and politics are included in this post.
I'll tell you a secret. Something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last.
Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now.
If they ever tell my story let them say that I walked with giants.
Men rise and fall like the winter wheat, but these names will never die.
Let them say I lived in the time of Hector, tamer of horses. Let them say I lived in the time of Achilles.
You gave me peace in a lifetime of war.
You're still my enemy in the morning.
You're still my enemy tonight. But even enemies can show respect.
I have endured what no one on earth has endured before. I kissed the hands of the man who killed my son.
I know my country better than the Greeks, I think.
You are a brave man. I could have your head on a spit in the blink of an eye.
Do you really think death frightens me now? I watched my eldest son die, watched you drag his body behind your chariot.
Give him back to me. He deserves a proper burial, you know that. Give him to me.
How many cousins have you killed? How many sons and fathers and brothers and husbands? How many, brave Achilles?
I knew your father, he died before his time. But he was lucky not to live long enough to see his son fall.
War is young men dying and old men talking. You know this. Ignore the politics.
My brothers of the sword! I would rather fight beside you than any army of thousands! Let no man forget how menacing we are.
Do you know what's waiting beyond that beach? Immortality! Take it! It's yours!
I chose nothing. I was born and this is what I am.
Imagine a king who fights his own battles. Wouldn't that be a sight?
Of all the warlords loved by the gods, I hate him the most.
Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?
Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity.
You say you're willing to die for love but you know nothing about dying and you know nothing about love!
Go home, prince. Drink some wine, make love to your wife. Tomorrow, we'll have our war.
Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.
You speak of war as if it's a game.
But how many wives wait at Troy's gates for husbands they'll never see again?
If you go to Troy, glory will be yours.
And the world will remember your name. But if you go to Troy, you will never come back... for your glory walks hand-in-hand with your doom. And I shall never see you again.
They say your mother was an immortal godess. They say you can't be killed.
You have your swords. I have my tricks. We play with the toys the gods give us.
All my life I've lived by a code and the code is simple: honor the gods, love your woman and defend your country.
Troy is mother to us all. Fight for her!
There are no pacts between lions and men.
Aren't you afraid?
Everyone dies, whether today or fifty years from now.
If I don't, you'll kill more men.
At night I see their faces. All the men I've killed. They're standing there on the far bank of the river Styx. They're waiting for me. They say, 'Welcome, brother'.
Last time you spoke to me like this, you were 10 years old and you'd just stolen Father's horse. What have you done now?
Do you love me, brother? Will you protect me from any enemy?
Well, then your men did. The sun god will have his vengeance.
His priests are dead, and his acolyte's a captive. i think your god is afraid of me.
Afraid? Apollo is master of the sun, he fears nothing.
I know more about the gods than your priests. I've seen them.
You're royalty, aren't you? Spent years talking down to men.
You must be royalty. What's your name? Even the servants of Apollo have names.
What do you want here in Troy? You didn't come for the Spartan queen.
Why kill you now, Prince of Troy, with no-one here to see you fall?
You should not have come here tonight.
That's what you said last night?
Last night was a mistake.
I have made many mistakes this week.
Of all the kings of Greece, I respect you most. But in this war you're a servant. And I refuse to be a servant any longer.
Sometimes you need to serve in order to lead. I hope you understand that one day.
Prince Hector, is he as good a warrior as they say?
You come here uninvited. Go back to your ships and go home.
The sun was shining when your wife left you.
She's up there, watching, isn't she? Good. I want her to watch you die.
And I've seen the limits of your mercy and I tell you now, no son of Troy will ever submit to a foreign ruler.
Trojan soldiers died protecting you. Perhaps they deserve more than your pity.
Pearls from the sea of Propontus.
Am I still your captive?
I have heard rumors of your beauty. And for once, the gossip is right.
Soldiers of Troy! You men are warriors! To lead you has been my honor!
Hector fights for his country! Achilles fights only for himself!
You were brave to fight them. You have courage.
To fight back when I'm attacked? A dog has that kind of courage.
It's no insult to say a dead man is dead.
I can't ask anyone to fight for me. I'm no longer queen of Sparta.
You're a princess of Troy now. And my brother needs you tonight.
Menelaus was a brave man. He fought for honor. And every day I was with him, I wanted to walk into the sea and drown.
I almost lost this war because of your little romance.
I want to see him grow tall. I want to see all the girls chasing after him.
Well, of course you do, she's a beautiful woman.
Then I'll make it easy for him to find me. I'll walk right up to him and tell him you're mine.
May the gods keep the wolves in the fields and the women in our beds.
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So, our system spent a looooong fucking time trying to reblog a post by someone that goes by @system-junk-spam but after typing it out it became unrebloggable, and then upon restarting the app we found that either they spontaneously deleted their blog or they somehow blocked us while we were typing something up, despite us having never interacted with them before. That, or tumblr mobile just straight up sucks. Highly probable.
Anyway, we worked really hard on the post and still want to share our thoughts, so we’re gonna put them here. We may get eaten alive for this take, but we’ve learned to not care what others think of us. We are allowed to believe things differently than our followers do and that’s okay. Hate will not be tolerated on this post. If I see it, you are blocked.
This is our theories on how endogenic plurality can possibly exist. We’ve talked about this before but not in great detail. We are literally just gonna copy-paste our response because oh my god it took so long to type out and then transfer to our notes app because the tumblr app was messing up. To TLDR the OP’s post, they were asking for genuine examples of endogenic plurality that wasn’t just someone actually having a CDD and thinking they are endo.
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So, for starters, I used to be anti-endo. Kind of a dick about it to be honest, but not overly hateful towards endos. I have a post explaining that situation, where I also came forward with explaining that when I was a teen I thought I was an endo because I didn't have trauma—except I did, I just didn't know it yet. I also used to do roleplay—though not as a system, for the record. I just had characters I made that I later realized were heavily based on real alters in my brain and it was that alter's way of expressing themselves before they could be known by the host part at the time. So to say I understand where you are coming from, I understand where you are coming from. I have been that person. I went hard anti-endo at first, but slowly as I've begun healing and deciding "I don't really care what people do in their lives and it's not up to me to police that" I have become what I consider "syscourse neutral" but "fine with endos, I just don't interact with the community much because I'm not endo." Mainly with the feeling of "live and let live" and "they're people deserving of respect too" driving that stance.
I start with all of that preamble because at the end of the day, whether endos "really exist" or not just…doesn't matter. They're not actually taking our resources, they're not seeking out DID specialists because most of them know they don't have DID, and the whole narrative of them "making a mockery of the disorder" is pandering to fake claimers, who are the ones who point and laugh at the disorder whether you are endo or not. Endos are not the enemies of DID systems here, fake claimers are. And whether endos exist or not, fake claimers will still fake claim people with DID no matter what.
If you make this post with the concern that people who say they are endo may actually have a CDD and that can be damaging to their healing long term (it was for me personally) or they may take longer to realize they have a CDD (happened to me), the thing is, they will eventually discover that they have a CDD if that's what they really have. You have all of these examples of people realizing they actually had a CDD because those people eventually realized that's what they had. No matter what, at some point in someone's life, if they have a CDD and the right support, they will eventually realize they have a CDD—even if they initially think they are endogenic.
To go on a personal tangent, it was actually a very good thing that I thought I was endo for so long and got completely alienated from the entire CDD community because if I had discovered I had a CDD at the time, that could have had catastrophic consequences to my safety. When I finally started questioning the system thing again my first year of college, I not only nearly ended my life multiple times (other parts attempting), but I also ended up returning to my abusers and getting hurt again (callback programming, l'm a RAMCOA system). If I had discovered that as a teen? It could have been much worse than it was when I was an adult. I could have been retrafficked if I went back, rather than just reprogrammed and sent on my way, because I was still young enough to be “good product” as a teen, but as an adult they weren’t interested in my “service” anymore, they were more interested in making sure I remained programmed so I wouldn’t report them and they wouldn’t get in trouble. (Joke’s on them, I’m reporting them to the FBI. Suckers.)
My system finally allowed itself to be discovered in my final year of college because I was a mere month away from moving out with my then-fiancée at the time, who we believed could keep us safe should we display harmful behaviors. And we were right, even if she did end up being an abusive POS later. However, I still found out I was a CDD system and did get the help I needed. And even if the situation is not quite as dire for others, if someone who has a CDD believes they are endo, chances are, the system wants that for the time being. And who are we to try to disprove that endos exist just so people will be more accepting of themselves having a CDD? You said it yourself, that people knowing before they are ready can be damaging, so it's really not such a big deal whether or not endos are "real" if that's a way for a system to exist without having to hide while also still kind of "hiding" in a way.
HOWEVER! Now that I have become more open to the concept of endogenic plurality, I have put a lot of thought into "what if it really does exist? How would that happen??" Because gosh, how brains work is exceptionally cool, and if there is a way for endos to be real, that's pretty fucking neat.
So, for the record, I am not endo and I am not fully in their circles nor do I know much about origins whatsoever, so if anyone wants to chime in their thoughts or correct me on something, please do! For this next part, I'm calling endo alters/headmates "parts" just to keep the vocab streamlined and succinct.
Some common themes I notice in endos (for the most part):
They have basically no amnesia between parts
Some can create parts at-will, while others feel like they can't just create parts at will, but their parts just kind of exist
They usually can switch at-will or control switching to some degree or even completely
Some folks usually have some kind of trauma, but that's not saying much because all humans have trauma to some degree or another. Something I've noticed, though, is that this trauma is usually not in early childhood, but in later childhood, teen years, or adult years. (Please know this is not indicative of everyone, just what l've noticed in endos l've spoken to, don't come at me if your situation looks different please!)
All of these aspects come into play for my “theories” on how endogenic plurality can exist. For the record, my “theories” are more like…my own ponderings on the subject rather than something that should be taken as fact. Only endos can decide how they exist, not me.
So initially, my main theory with endos (which l've spoken about once, a while ago) is that it is "IFS on steroids."
IFS functions with the belief that all people have parts, and that to create cohesion in everyday life means finding ways to communicate between these parts and reach healing conclusions between them. Kinda like DID treatment except these parts don't have the "becoming autonomous and elaborating" part of DID. This is often seen in therapy related to addressing your "inner child" or "inner teen" but this can also apply to "the part of me that hates my dad" and "the part of me that wants him to love me." Remember, this is a singlet we are talking about, here! Singlets can also have conflicting and contradictory feelings about their family members. Having a "conversation" between these two parts might look like one of them stating all the reasons why it's better to cut him off because he always causes harm, while the other side may explain all the reasons why they want to keep him around. Weighing these "pros and cons" in this sort of scripted conversation between these two "parts" can help singlets come to an agreement between these two contradictory feelings and find a solution that is best for that singlet "as a whole."
However, what if someone who has parts of self like any singlet does finds a different way to converse with their parts? Or maybe not just converse, but imagine them? Consider that their "responsible self who is good at keeping on track" is the self that they kind of "dial into" at school or work, so that they stay on task—so then later, the part of themselves that prefers to goof off and have fun can have more time to do that. (These may be labeled as a “school/work self” and “home self” by singlets)
Maybe that responsible side of themselves feels like a guy whose name is probably like, Richard. And he's a boring, middle aged, office worker looking dude. And that fun and goofy version of themselves that would rather ignore homework feels like a teen named something funky like Rainbow. Well, the side of themselves that's responsible (Richard) is probably gonna get into a lot of arguments with the fun-loving side of themselves (Rainbow), which can look and feel like an internal debate or struggle of "well I can totally skip this assignment because I have a good grade and my show's season just dropped and I don't wanna fall behind while my friends are caught up" being answered with "um, no, if I don't stay on top of things, I'm gonna fall behind on my schoolwork, which is WAY more important than my show"
See how that can feel a bit like CDD but not actually be a CDD?
These endogenic IFS parts of self might even become slightly more autonomous (or seem slightly more autonomous) than a normal singlet's IFS parts over time, especially if having these internal conversations are a major coping skill during stressful times. These "stressful times" can literally just be "being a teenager" because holy shit being a teenager is stressful!! Does this mean every teen who is an endo in this sort of “IFS way” will grow out of it? No! If this is a positive coping mechanism that doesn't cause harm, they may still have these parts of self well into adulthood or even their whole life. Because guess what? Being an adult is also stressful as hell. It would make sense that these parts would follow them into adulthood.
They may even have traumas they have to address in therapy that these parts of self can help them address. This doesn't mean that trauma is held within a singular part to keep the others safe from the knowledge of said trauma like a CDD system, (even if that trauma is repressed—because even people who are traumatized as adults and non-systems can have repressed trauma) because most likely, all parts of self in this IFS situation are probably either totally aware (if it is not repressed) or totally unaware (if the trauma is repressed) and when it comes time to address said traumas, the parts (while maybe not quite as fully autonomous with completely separate experiences and memories like a CDD system) can still likely be quite elaborate and be very helpful when processing these traumas or negative experiences. Brains are cool! Brains are weird! They do weird stuff to cope with shit! I totally think it's plausible for someone's IFS parts to elaborate to some degree if it helps that person cope with life, even if they don't realize it's IFS or a singlet's version of plurality at all.
Does this mean they would technically be a singlet since they don't have a “genuinely” fragmented consciousness? Maybe?? Who are we to say, you know? If they feel like they are plural even if their consciousness is not fragmented in the same way a CDD system's would be, why not let them say they are plural? They are experiencing some kind of plurality, just completely differently than someone with a CDD-related fragmented consciousness would. Which is kinda neat, if you ask me.
I recently saw a tiktoker who explained they were misdiagnosed with DID, that they'd been re-evaluated by MULTIPLE CDD specialists and been told they do not have DID, but they have some kind of parts influenced by them being schizoaffective. They genuinely have parts of self that feel like they kind of "step in" to handle certain things, with names and appearances to boot, AND this person is very dissociative based on their scores on dissociative scales— which is why they were misdiagnosed by a trauma specialist (not a CDD specialist) in the first place. Their parts are coping skills based on their delusions. Does that make their parts any less real to that person? No, they still exist and they have for a long time, but they are not dissociative parts like in DID. They have some kind of parts that get them through daily life even though they do not have a dissociative disorder. How cool is that!!! They don't cause harm, so they're not something that has to be done away with or anything. This person can just BE schizoaffective with parts. And the therapists are cool with it. Go figure.
I haven’t even gotten to the part where someone with BPD can have schema modes that are kinda like parts. Not to mention that just because people with CPTSD and PTSD may not have fully autonomous ANPs and EPs like people with CDDs do doesn't mean that the person with BPD/CPTSD/PTSD may not try to “purposely” (or accidentally) semi-elaborate those parts by assigning names or identities to help them cope.
For example, if someone has an explosion of anger due to a trigger and that non-autonomous EP is responsible for it, they may associate that non-autonomous EP's anger with someone like, I dunno, Bakugo from MHA. (I know nothing about this anime I just know this is an angry guy don't come for me please lol) So every time this person gets triggered into an anger spiral, they may assign that behavior to a version of themselves that gets really angry like Bakugo, even though it's really just the ANP being influenced by the emotions of the non-autonomous EP. “Bakugo" may never “truly” be autonomous like an EP in a CDD system would be, but that person who has CPTSD or PTSD may feel like they "become Bakugo" every time they get triggered and angry because of that non-autonomous EP's influence. Eventually, the ANP may learn how to communicate with that non-autonomous EP Bakugo and learn coping strategies for “his” anger and process the traumas that caused that emotional response, which can actually help that person heal in the long run. I think non-CDD parts can totally be a helpful coping mechanism for trauma healing. Consider how much easier it is to be kind to someone else rather than yourself. A lot of trauma survivors are incredibly hard on themselves, but may do a 180 for their friends and uplift them when they are struggling with the same thing. If someone with C/PTSD finds it easier to communicate and encourage healing to “Bakugo” rather than themselves and it ends in them healing in the long run, I’d call that a net win.
Like sure, you can say "but they're not actually endo, they just have CPTSD" but like…if they don't have a fragmented consciousness but they feel like they "become Bakugo" every time that angry non-autonomous EP is triggered, wouldn't that kinda mean that they don't have CDD alters but still experience SOME form of plurality? They may have an extremely anxious non-autonomous EP that is like a different blorbo from their shows, or they might name a non-autonomous super depressed EP after Sadness from Inside Out. While they aren't experiencing CDD plurality, one cannot really argue that they aren't experiencing some kind of plurality, right?
And gosh, what about the folks who genuinely don't have serious enough trauma to have PTSD or CPTSD and aren't really needing the IFS parts to cope, but created their parts just because? Why not? Especially if they aren't trying to demedicalize DID a la Astrea's Web or purposely trying to throw vitriol into the community, what is the harm in it? I already mentioned that they really aren't making a mockery of the disorder, fake claimers are. So what’s the big deal, really?
Why can't we as traumagenic systems just let endos exist without concrete proof? From what l've gathered, there have been studies on non-traumagenic plurality (I believe @sysmedsaresexist has shared these studies before but I may be mistaken...sorry for the tag, SAS) so clearly scientists have noticed this is a thing that happens.
Aren't you, as a traumagenic system, fucking sick of fake claimers CONSTANTLY questioning your existence, your reality? Don't you think endos probably feel the same way towards us? Like yeah, we have a lot of scientific proof we exist, but fake claimers will straight up ignore that shit and say the scientists are wrong. Why are we doing literally the same shit? Like come on, put yourself in their shoes! Let them exist whether there's a bazillion studies on them or not! As long as they aren't trying to cause active harm to others or the community (most endos just wanna exist in peace without being constantly fake claimed and harassed, for the record—just like us traumagenic systems!), just let them be! Live and let live. We cannot dictate how they experience their life, whether it's real or not. (I personally think it is, it's just not the same as a CDD—our experiences with plurality are inherently different as a traumatized system of parts.)
I hope my very long ramble was of help to you and others?
Since opening up to the possibility of endos being real and not being so stressed about whether it is or not, l've just been a much happier person overall—not to mention have a much greater appreciation for how cool the brain is and what we as people do to cope with shit. Plurality as a whole is really fucking cool from a scientific perspective. I think being more open-minded and accepting in general will also just make you feel better as a person. We don't need to be asking all these questions, we can just let it be! It's way less stressful, tbh.
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