#nikolai gogol x reader | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chuuysworld · 3 days ago

Text

oh my GODDD

₊˚.༄ hide + seek

spooktober 2024 masterlist

☾₊‧⁺˖pairing: asylum patient!nikolai gogol x asylum attendant!fem!reader

☾₊‧⁺˖genre: angst + fluff; slightly suggestive

☾₊‧⁺˖content warnings: manipulation/mind games, infidelity, nikolai's a bit of a meanie in this one lol

☾₊‧⁺˖notes: meant to follow the events + be a side story of the get free series (between pt 1) just pretend it's still halloween okay

☾₊‧⁺˖ word count: 5.3k

"Happy Halloween!" You chirped happily, handing Nikolai a pumpkin-decorated gift bag with his favorite Ukranian candies and sweets. There was an assortment of minky binky, roshen, and ABK chocolates inside⎯which you'd learned were his childhood favorites.

Your patient paused before opening the bag and observing the treats inside. He looked...melancholic almost? He took the candies out in his hand and turned them all over to look closer at the packaging, silent.

You opened your mouth to speak but closed it, unsure if you did the right thing. Your husband had warned you not to bring gifts for any of the patients⎯and especially not Nikolai⎯because it would promote unwanted feelings and attachment, but you brought them behind his back anyway. You hated how strict all the protocols in place were, and how they treated the patients like they were evil monsters instead of normal people that just needed help. After all, Nikolai wasn't a monster. To you, he was⎯

Arms wrapping around your waist and warm breath hitting the shell of your ears forced you out of your thoughts, and you yelped as you felt Nikolai's toned body pressing into yours, "Thank you, dove~" He patted your head affectionately and you felt some loose strands of his white hair tickle your face. "Halloween is actually my favorite holiday, y'know?" He hugged you closer, and you felt your back hit the wall of his holding room.

"When I was a kid, my neighbors and I used to go around the nearby houses and say 'Varyatyky or sweets!' It was meant to be a a tradition to 'overcome' evil spirits!" You nodded and tapped on his chest to tell him he was crushing you, and he finally released you from his grip.

When he pulled away, his once sad eyes were now sparkling with excitement, and you gave him a questioning look, which he seemed to catch on to, "Ah, I was a bit sad earlier because the candies you gave me reminded me of my past life," He solemnly took your hands in his, "And I've been trying to escape the old cage I was in for a long, long time. I guess it made me feel weird..."

You tilted your head in curiosity⎯you swore that every time you thought you understood Nikolai, he always threw you off again. He giggled suddenly and spun you around, catching you back in your arms and embracing you again so your back was against his chest, and you shrieked from the slight dizziness, "You make me feel all sorts of weird emotions, ptashka, but I don't hate it."

For some reason, that made you smile softly as Nikolai rested his chin on your shoulder, his heterochromatic eyes still trained on you. You placed your hands over his, which were wrapped around your waist, and paused momentarily before peeling them off of you as usual. Your eyes caught your reflection in the steel mirror off to the side. Although distorted, you could clearly see Nikolai's body wrapped around your smaller one and how relaxed you looked. It definitely didn't look like an attendant and their patient.

It felt nice. Being held like a lover felt nice.

This was bad. He was being too affectionate, and you were playing along a little too complacently. Were you really this touch-starved? Wouldn't letting another man touch you⎯a married woman⎯like this be bad in any other situation?

Your doubts and uncertainties were interrupted when Nikolai whispered into your ear.

"Love, can we go play in the courtyard later today?"

₊˚.༄

The crisp autumnal air hit your skin, but it was nice. The orange and red foliage contrasted the stark white asylum you were in all day, and the tan trench coat you threw on helped keep you cozy and warm in your short dress. Well, that and Nikolai, who was connected to you with linked arms. He would stop every few steps to squeeze you in his arms, claiming he was "too cold and needed heat" even though he refused to put a coat on.

The patients had just finished their midday snack, so he smelled like the powder-mix apple cider that was served in the cafeteria. The scent of sour apples and cinnamon was comforting enough to you, so you didn't complain much about his antics.

You exhaled, watching your breath materialize in the chilly air, "This weather...it makes me wish I could give out candy to the trick-o-treaters," you smiled sadly to yourself, "I always like decorating the house during this time of year and seeing their happy faces when they come to our door..."

Nikolai paused, stopping your steps briefly and walking in front of you, holding both of your hands now. He walked backwards, crushing leaves under his feet, "Why don't you do it tonight, then? You get off work before they start to come out, right?"

You shook your head, "No...it's been four years since the asylum opened, and in those four years, my husband has always forced me to work the night of Halloween, so I can never celebrate." You paused, looking up to see some doves flying in the sky, but Nikolai pulled your head back down to him.

"That's a shame, dove. If you were with me, we could dress up in matching costumes together and surprise all the kids," He started skipping frantically, pulling you away from the main area of the courtyard, "Oh! I could do your hair and makeup, too, I'm pretty good at that sort of stuff, y'know? I could even make you a custom costume!" You squealed as he started to skip faster, spinning you in circles and making you dizzy. You were both getting farther away, the fountain no longer in sight.

He pulled you close to him again, his blue and green eyes wildly piercing into your shaky pupils, "If you just left him, we could make that a reality, myla." His hands grasped your arms tighter and your lightheadedness was making his words feel hypnotic, "Why don't you just leave him already? You don't even love him, do you? He hurts you; you hate him. And I hate him even more. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I fucking ha⎯"

"Ahh⎯Ow⎯" You gasped sharply from the pain of Nikolai digging his nails into your arms and pulled away from his tight hold, mind still a bit hazy. "S-Stop it, just stop it, Nikolai..." He gave you a disapproving glare, but you continued, "He's my husband and my boss, so I have to obey him. I can't just up and leave him whenever I wan⎯ack⎯!" You stepped backwards and stumbled on a stray boulder, and time felt like it went slower as you lost your balance and toppled onto the ground, your back and head hitting the dirt.

You groaned in pain, feeling the ache in your skull. Your patient, however, didn't seem too concerned and only sneered when he watched you hit the ground. You narrowed your eyes at him and felt his presence as he crouched down to assess you for any injuries. Nothing too serious.

He giggled manically while picking some dried leaves out of your hair, "Say, dove, if you really miss the kids, why don't we play a childish little game?" You grunted and tried to swat his hand away, but the dull throbbing in your head prevented you from being successful.

You tried to glare at him, but a chill ran down your spine when you glanced over to see a wide grin on his face and the same dark, unreadable look clouding his eyes, "Hmmm, why don't we play hide and seek? It's a fun game, right, ptashka?" He gleamed brightly at you again but barely gave you a chance to object, "Yeah, that sounds fun, doesn't it? How about you count to thirty and then come look for me?!"

You winced again, placing your hand over your head to try and alleviate some of the pain. How desperately you wanted to scream at Nikolai to stop and help you, but the constant pang blocked you from doing so. He tilted his head innocently, "Oh, a prize, you ask? Well..." He pondered mockingly, "What about winner decides? And no cheating, okay?" He took your phone and walkie out from the pocket of your trench coat and shut down your phone so no one could track or contact you. You whined when he threw a part of your coat over your eyes to blind you.

His presence left you as he dusted himself off and stood up again, "Thirty seconds, okay, myla?" You tried to reach for his foot, but he was long gone, and all you could do was listen to the distant crunching of leaves and hysterical giggles grow farther away from you.

Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven...

₊˚.༄

The sun had set by the time you opened your eyes again, finally mustering up the strength to get off the ground. You rubbed your back and looked around⎯it had probably been closer to thirty minutes since Nikolai had ran away.

Internally, a tick set off in your head telling you to look for him. You checked your empty pockets and decided that you should try and catch him first before reporting anything. After all, he was technically your responsibility, and the thought of your husband hounding you over losing a patient hurt your brain more than the spinning pain.

You tried to think rationally⎯if you had woken up on the ground, then surely no one had noticed both of your absences or caught Nikolai. Just calm down and try to find him.

You looked around, trying to guess where he'd ran off to, but the ground didn't give you any clues as to which direction he'd gone. Not that you were surprised, though, since he had plenty of experience running away.

It's fine, it's just a silly game⎯he didn't really run away or escape. You tried to calm your mind and think of a plan to get him. Deciding that treating this as a game would help your sanity, you cupped your hands around your mouth, "R-Ready or not, here I come!" You squeaked out, your shaky confidence showing through your voice.

You ran towards the fountain, hoping Nikolai would be there since he was always drawn to the koi fish and rose garden. You walked towards the direction of the structure, the crisp air filling your lungs as you frantically looked for him. Calm down, he's definitely there. You smiled to yourself, envisioning him playing with the fish or tossing rose petals into the water pools of the marble fountain. It was a ten-minute walk, so you tried to enjoy the fresh breeze blowing through your hair and massage the knots in your strained back.

What you weren't expecting was...nothing. There was just a maintenance worker tending to the garden and pulling out weeds. No sign of your patient. You walked around, looking behind every bush and up into each individual tree, but you still saw nothing. The gardener would glance at you occasionally, but you kept searching tirelessly, trying to go beyond the bounds of the elaborate labyrinth to see if he was hiding in a more inconspicuous spot. Still no luck.

You mustered up the courage to go up to the worker and see if he'd be any help. Maybe it was cheating, but you were starting to get impatient and doubt was beginning to sink in.

You cleared your throat, "Ahem," the worker turned around, "Excuse me, but have you seen anyone pass through here recently?"

The old worker smiled, the corners of his mouth crinkling upwards in a smile, "Well, yes, actually⎯lots of people. Anyone in particular you were looking for?"

You breathed a sigh of relief, "Have you see a tall man with white hair? It's probably in a braid, and he has heterochromia⎯one eye is green and the other is a bluish-gray with a vertical scar," The gardener only gave you a confused look, "...he's pretty young and fit..." You trailed off, concerned by the look you received.

The elderly man scratched his head, "I haven't seen anyone like that around." He paused, recognizing your attendant uniform, "Is he your patient? We can get security involved if it's a serious problem. Actually, let me radio the bos⎯"

You grabbed his hand apprehensively once you saw him reach for the walkie on his belt, "O-Oh, sorry, I just remembered I handed him off to another attendant." You let out a fake laugh, trying to reassure him no action was needed. No matter what, you couldn't get your husband involved.

The worker eyed you cautiously but then shrugged, "They really overwork you attendants so much you start to forget things, huh? I've heard you're understaffed."

You forced out another laugh and nodded, "Haha, yeah, they do..." You perked up, smiling as another precaution, "Thank you for your help, though, sir! I-I'll be on my way now, so please resume your work." You waved to him and started walking back towards where you fell.

"Young lady! Where are you headed off to? The asylum's back there!" Your eyes widened at his voice calling out after you, but you turned again, feigning confidence.

"Just taking a walk to clear my head!" You waved again, and he shrugged and tipped his hat to bid you farewell. You turned around and cursed yourself silently, both for acting suspicious and still not finding Nikolai.

As soon as you couldn't see the old gardener anymore, you started sprinting, hard, back towards your starting point. The fall air was now burning your lungs and your heart was beating violently fast, swelled with anxiety about the whole situation, and the fact that Nikolai could very well be gone by now. And it would all be your fault.

A pit formed in your stomach as you thought of all the potential repercussions you'd have to face, but also at the thought of never seeing Nikolai again. Of knowing that was your last interaction. Somehow, the thought made you want to run faster. It felt like you had to find him.

₊˚.༄

The forest. You hadn't checked the forest yet.

It was darker now, the once coral sky had turned navy blue, and the sky was much dimmer. Almost two hours had passed, but you still hadn't found Nikolai.

Despite the cold, you were sweating from anxiety. There was no way you lost him. Maybe if you called for him, he would come out of hiding? He did seem to have some sort of obsession with you. You looked around again before stepping closer to the mass of colorful trees.

"Miss, is everything alright?' You whipped your head around to see the second-to-last person you'd want to encounter at the moment⎯Lacey.

Her blonde bob was swaying from the light breeze and her emerald eyes shined with fake concern, "Where's your patient? Gogol, right? Nikolai Gogol?" She ran up to you and tried to reach for your arm, but you stepped away before she could touch you.

Somehow, you felt strange. No one had ever said Nikolai's name before, as they were too scared to acknowledge him because of all the crimes he'd committed. The way his name flowed off her tongue in such a tender way irked you for some reason.

"He's fine." You mumbled, forgetting to add a nicer tone to your voice. You coughed suddenly, remembering that Lacey was likely there for a reason, and that she'd run off to the boss immediately if she caught on to the situation at hand. "Ah, did something happen? You should be done with work by now, right? It's late."

Lacey shifted, peering over your shoulder like she was trying to look for your patient; you felt your palms getting clammy. "Well, you and Gogol have been gone for two hours, and your walkie and phone both aren't able to be contacted. The boss sent me to look for you because he was worried about you both..."

Worried, sure. Definitely not just because he was a control freak that needed to know your wherabouts all times. She gasped dramatically, bringing a hand up to her mouth, "He didn't run away, did he? He isn't with you⎯" her brows furrowed and she looked around, "Should we call security? They can deploy helicopters and dogs to search from him!"

You felt a lump in your throat when she said that, fearful of her taking action and exposing you. You reached for her shoulder reassuringly, "Oh, well, there's no need for that," you raked your mind for any sort of plausible excuse, "Nikolai's just...um...using the bathroom! He's in the woods right now, so I'm just waiting for him to finish." You tried to laugh to throw in some emotion, "Sorry I didn't tell you in the first place. It's kind of TMI and embarrassing!"

Lacey stared at you suspiciously but nodded slowly, "Oh...I see." She grimaced at the thought, "Men are really gross, aren't they? For a patient to do that...how uncivilized..." You forced another painful laugh and agreed with her, wrapping your coat tighter around yourself to shield your shaking body. You couldn't tell if she was dumb enough to believe you or not.

Lacey smiled at you, "Why don't I wait with you, then? Once Nikolai comes back, we can all walk back to the white ward, and then I'll go home!"

Your mouth felt dry. Shit, you were really going to be caught now. You couldn't tell her that you still didn't know where your patient even was. For all you knew, he could've successfully escaped the asylum premises by now. You tried to open your mouth to object, but you didn't know how to do so without making yourself look more suspicious.

Think. Think. Think, damnit.

Lacey's humming made your head hurt, but you suddenly thought of another excuse, "Oh, Lacey, could you actually bring me a new walkie? My old one and my phone died earlier, so I gave my walkie to a guard and asked him to bring me a new one, but he never did." You clasped your hands together, "They should be in the break lounge, and you can ask IT for help configuring it. That way, I can radio in, and you can head home!" You hoped that convinced her, and luckily her eyes lit up at your suggestion.

"Sure! It's honestly a little cold out here, so I'll go back inside to get you a walkie." She pouted, "I kind of wanted to meet Gogol. He's stuck to you all the time and hates all the other attendants...I'm sure we would get along, though!"

Lacey flashed the brightest smile at you, and you had to restrain yourself from throwing a rock at her sly face as you adjusted your coat. Certainly she didn't think Nikolai would make an exception for her⎯she was way too irritating and two-faced. "Well anyways, I'll head back. I'll come back to this spot afterwards with some guards to get you and Gogol." She waved goodbye to you in a childish manner before skipping away, and you watched intently until she became a small dot in the distance.

Your palms got sweaty again as you realized you had thirty minutes at most to find Nikolai. Your heartbeat increased as you ran into the forest and looked up into the branches, hoping to catch sight of him.

Still unsuccessful, you started to panic. "Kolya!" You cried out, cupping your hands over your mouth to project your shouts, "Kolya, where are you?" You ran deeper into the woods, dirtying your clean shoes and getting scratched by branches along the way. It was dark and the foliage covered the light, so you couldn't see very well.

The hairs on your neck stood up, and you heard some distant rustling. Looking up, all you saw was a dove in a tree, feeding some of the babies inside its nest. You stopped to stare for a bit before moving on, going deeper into the mess of shadows. Anxiety kept creeping up on you as you continued shouting Nikolai's name.

"Kolya, please! I give up, so you can come out now! Please, come out, please⎯" You kept running, and your throat felt dry as everything started to dawn on you. You'd been wandering for ten minutes. It was getting late, and beads of cold sweat stuck to your skin. Your body still hurt. Lacey and the guards were going to be here soon, and when they were here, they'd find out you were lying about everything, and Nikolai was actually nowhere to be found. You'd lose your job and very livelihood. Your husband would get angry and take it out on you and your family. You'd be locked away for aiding a global criminal in escaping one of the most secure places in the world. Or even worse, you'd be declared mentally insane and be stuck here, as a patient for your husband and Lacey to look down on. It was all your fault for believing you could trust Nikolai or be his friend.

Your back hit a tree trunk, and you slid down slowly, curling up into a ball. Tears flowed out of your eyes, and you whimpered to yourself. You felt ashamed and alone. For a moment, you felt used. You cried, feeling desperate. You couldn't believe you were about to ruin your life over conflicted emotions you had over an insane man. You should've just been a good, compliant wife and not follow your heart. You should've never tried to seek freedom.

"K-Kolya," you sobbed silently, "I just wanna see you...one more t-time. Don't leave me please, you..." You're all I have. You're the only person in this world I can really talk to. You couldn't speak the words out loud, in denial over your forbidden feelings. You closed your eyes as you sobbed, only looking up when something small and hard got crushed under your shoe.

You wiped your tears and nose with the sleeve of your coat, eyes focusing on a white and red striped circular object on the ground. A minky binky⎯one of the candies you'd gifted Nikolai. You got up slowly upon seeing several more leading deeper into the woods, resembling a trail of Ukranian candies.

Your feet started to pick up their pace as you followed the trail, stopping when you got to a clearing, where a short stump was surrounded by an assortment of dried leaves.

Your teary eyes widened when you finally saw your patient, glowing from the moonlight and with a dove perched on his hand. Nikolai released the bird into the night sky and smiled at you in a melancholic way. "Oh, you found me. Took you long enough, ptashka. You really are terrible at hide and seek."

Without hesitation, you ran into his arms, wrapping yourself around his frame. You helplessly gripped onto his sleeves and dug your face into his shoulder, not wanting him to see any evidence of your tears from earlier. "...I didn't think you would run away so far...I thought I lost you..."

Nikolai only laughed. "Dove, honestly," he said cheerfully, "You were never going to find me, I'm far too clever for that!" He pulled you away from his shoulder, but what he didn't expect was your face, illuminated in the moonlight, with tears clinging to your eyes and your lips and nose swollen from your earlier weeping.

"K-Kolya, please don't leave me again," you wiped your eyes and sniffled, "I was so s-scared⎯"

Nikolai's faced softened and he embraced you in his arms, stroking your hair gently and trying to comfort you. This was...strange. He'd never seen you display such strong feelings of emotion or sadness. And to think you were crying over him of all people...he didn't hate the fact he was making you cry, but it bothered him that it wasn't because he wanted you to cry. A small frown appeared on his face and his heart felt...slightly heavy from seeing you in this state.

He spoke in a soft voice, trying to reassure you with his presence. "Hey, dove...I didn't mean to make you cry, really…I was just trying to make it a little harder for you to find me, I wanted to surprise you." You continued sniffling and Nikolai used his thumb to wipe away more of your tears, trying to make them stop. "Why...Why are you so sad?"

You covered your face in embarrassment, ashamed of breaking down in front of your patient, "I⎯", you started, head screaming at you to shut up and step away, but your lightheadedness made you more vulnerable, "I thought I was going to lose my job, and I didn't want my husband to find out about us," Nikolai's head perked up, but he rubbed your back.

"Was that the only reason?" He stared into your eyes sympathetically, but also like he wanted to hear more from you.

"No...I also...was scared I'd never see you again." You exhaled shakily, "Your mannerisms, our conversations, you always holding my hands or hugging me, I don't...I don't hate it...They've made my dull life somewhat more interesting." You looked away, "If I lost that...if I lost you, I would feel so empty again. You make me...happy for some reason."

Your patient's eyes widened. Nikolai made you...happy? But he wanted to make you free. Or was he just using you to alleviate some of his boredom? Wasn't making you happy the same as him committing himself to you, and you tying him down by making the two of you codependent? But that was what he was trying to escape from...he wanted to be free from the control and ideals of others.

You went on, talking about how Nikolai was the only person you could talk to about your personal life, how he made you feel special at times, but Nikolai's own inner thoughts drowned out your words. Stop. Stop it. Stop your babbling. He fumbled a lollipop out of his pocket and stuck it into your mouth, silencing you like a baby with a pacifier. His eyes brightened, overwhelmed by you. Your eyes wavered, not being able to handle the intensity of his stare, and the same thought plagued both of your minds.

Were you catching feelings for him? Was he more attached to you than he thought he was?

Nikolai caressed your cheeks, drying the last of your tears with his dampened sleeve. He slowly kissed your eyelids, catching the saltiness of your teardrops. "Myla, the words you're saying and the game you're playing...you could make a sane man mad."

You blushed, suddenly being hyper-aware of the fact you were both alone. The thought made you shudder. Anything could happen and no one would see.

"Are you cold, dove?" You yelped when Nikolai's strong arms pulled you into his lap, so you were straddling him. You placed your hands on his shoulders and squirmed awkwardly to try and get off, but he firmly held you in place. He dug his face into the crook of your neck, "Oh, your skin's freezing. Should I warm you up?" He smirked playfully before biting down lightly on your neck, making you jerk up and gasp. He started kissing the mark, simultaneously holding your legs open and rubbing circles on your thighs. A small moan left your throat, which you instantly regretted, and you tried to close your legs, but it was no use.

You squeezed his shoulders, "H-Hey, what are you doing⎯s-stop⎯"

Nikolai giggled mockingly, "I technically won our little game of hide and seek, so this is my reward. Winner got to choose, remember?" He continued littering your neck with kisses, "I want you to treat me like your lover for ten minutes, or until we get caught." His dark eyes cut into you, "Otherwise, I'm really running away. And you won't be able to stop me." You whimpered as he licked down your skin, baring his teeth against your sweet spot, about to leave a hickey.

You mustered up some strength to push him away, "W-Wait, you can't leave a mark then." He frowned, staring up at you. You sighed, feeling defeated but knowing you didn't have any other option but to comply with his wishes, "Kiss...lower instead. The marks won't be visible..." Your cheeks flushed as you threw off your coat and slowly undid the buttons on your uniform, the dress falling down your shoulders and stopping right under your collarbones.

Nikolai watched as the fabric dropped and nuzzled into your exposed skin, "So soft..." He kissed down your collarbones, dragging his tongue with each kiss. You moved your hands up to tangle in his white messy hair, pulling him closer as he made his first mark above your collarbone, the feeling of his teeth biting down making you jolt and press down farther into his lap.

One of his hands left your waist to pull your dress down further, and you gasped as the cold air hit your chest. You tried to instinctively cover up, but Nikolai was already palming one of your tits through your lace bra and kissing the other. He groaned from finally being able to explore your body more, and you could feel the tent in his pants pressing against your panties.

"S-Seriously, Kolya..." Your skin felt hot, the feeling of being this desired feeling foreign to you since you and your husband barely got intimate...and when you did, there wasn't any real love or passion to it. Having someone worship your body like this⎯it made you want more.

You pulled on Nikolai's hair and gently rolled your hips to press down more on his bulge, drawing deeper groans from him. "Myla, a-ahh, you're so pretty..." He kissed in between the valley of your breasts and looked up at you, "You should just be mine and mine alone." He sucked on the exposed part of your tit and marked another spot there, kissing it afterwards. He repeated his motions on the other breast, his touch making you whine, the sound being absorbed by your lollipop.

"Mmm...your skin is so nice...I wonder how sweet you taste, ptashka." His other hand was still caressing your inner thigh, and it was dangerously close to slipping inside your lacy underwear. He could just⎯

"Miss! Mr. Gogol! Are you in there?" You both stopped as you heard Lacey's shouting voice and saw cut-up rays of light through the tree trunks. She had come back as promised with guards, evident by the heavy footsteps coming towards your direction.

"Ah, I guess our time's up, then? Too bad..." Nikolai sighed disappointedly, teasing you with one more bite over your bra, earning a surprised yelp from you, and you hurriedly re-did your buttons. Nikolai looked upset, wishing you could've gone further, but deep down, he knew this little back-and-forth game between the two of you wouldn't end anytime soon.

He got up slowly from the stump and swiped the cherry-flavored candy from your mouth, savoring the taste of you on it. You pouted, but he only laughed at you in return, slowly walking away as you picked the twigs and leaves off your trench coat. He stuck his tongue out before licking the lollipop, "Don't be sad dove, I'll taste you someday~"

You ran up to meet him and tried to get the blush off your cheeks, already trying to think of a lie to tell everyone on the long walk back. He intertwined his hand with yours, giggling to himself as Lacey and the guards finally came.

He was sure you'd scream when you saw the hickeys at home, which he'd purposely left in a diamond formation, like the ones on playing cards. That way, you wouldn't forget he was the one who marked you, and that your heart belonged to him.

#nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #vanilladove

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osarina · 10 months ago

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ᡣ𐭩 TELLING THEM THEY'RE PRETTY!

FEATURING: dazai osamu, fyodor dostoevsky, nikolai gogol

SUMMARY: telling the bsd boys that they're pretty! (wordcount: 3.5k; sfw; fem!reader)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: i had cute dividers but this won't show up in the tags if use them D: ! i had sooo much fun with this! i hope you guys enjoy! :D

DAZAI OSAMU

You can’t seem to drag your gaze away from him.

As a long day of work comes to an end, you rest your head on your arms and lean on your desk. Kunikida is still tapping furiously away at his computer, Tanizaki and Naomi are whispering about something together, Ranpo is sorting through his candy, and Atsushi and Kyouka are looking through files. But your eyes are tracing over Dazai Osamu as he leans back in his chair, lazily spinning and bobbing his head to the music he’s listening to.

The setting sun casts an ethereal glow over him, his lips idly turned up and his lashes brushing his cheeks as rests his eyes waiting for the day to end. Dazai Osamu is pretty—you’ve always acknowledged that—but there’s something about the peace of this moment, the domesticity of the office and the ambience of the lighting that has you utterly enraptured.

He looks so at ease, and Dazai Osamu is never at ease. Even when he throws up that clownlike mask of his and spends his day entertaining under the guise of joy and humor, you can always see the strain in the corner of his eyes and lips. It’s subtle, almost imperceptible really—if you were anyone else, you’d miss it, but you’re not anyone else, much to his displeasure, because you know he hates how easily you can see right through him.

After a few minutes, Dazai peeks his eyes open—and you’re almost breathless, because his eyes are like melted honey beneath the sunset, warm and gentle, glittering with amusement. You think you can stare at him forever and never tire of it.

He rolls his chair closer to you, resting his forearms on your desk so that your arms are brushing and laying his head down on them so that his face is mere inches from yours, matching your position. There's a smile on his lips, soft and teasing as he whispers, "You've been staring at me for five minutes."

"Mhm," you agree, voice just as quiet as if to not disturb the tranquility of the office. You can feel his breath light against your face from the proximity he's laying at and you can smell peppermint on his breath from the candy you’d seen him swipe from Ranpo’s desk earlier when the other man had gone to speak to Fukuzawa.

“Is there something on my face?” he asks playfully, dark eyes glimmering as he waits for your response.

You can tease him back and say yes, as you usually do and is probably what he expects—and you fully intend to do just that but the words that leave your lips are not that.

“You just look really pretty today,” you say softly, watching as his eyes widen just a bit at your words, pink dusting his cheeks.

His lips part to say something but no words leave them. He opens and closes them a few times and you marvel because Dazai must know that he’s pretty from all of the attention he gets from women, so you don’t understand why he’s so thrown off hearing you voice it out loud. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him genuinely speechless before now.

“So you don’t think i’m pretty every other day?” Dazai pushes his bottom lip out into an over-exaggerated pout, recovering swiftly from your words, though you expected nothing less from him. But you can’t help but note that his cheeks are still a bit pink and there’s something indecipherable in his eyes.

“Prettier than usual,” you amend and watch as the flush on his cheeks darkens and he instead resorts to completely burying his face in his arms with a frustrated groan.

“I am supposed to be the flirt, bella,” he complains, voice muffled by his arms as he hides his face from your view. He cannot hide the way his ears have gone bright red, and you have half a mind to reach out and tug at them

You lift your hand to your lips to hide the giggle that rises to your lips, scooching your chair a bit closer so you can knock your shoulder against his.

“I’m not flirting,” you say. “Just stating a fact.”

He turns his head to the side, just enough so that he can give you a heavy side eye—you can only barely see the red hue coating his cheekbone.

“Not mutually exclusive,” he says grumpily, and you lean down to press your lips against his now exposed forehead, smiling softly as his eyes instinctively flutter shut and his body relaxes as the touch.

Then, you receive a pencil to the side of your head. You yelp as your hand flies to where it had made contact with you, scowling at your assailant who is none other than Ranpo, smiling widely as he waves at you and then motions to Kunikida, who is red faced and staring at the two of you. You can’t tell if it’s in embarrassment or anger.

“Not during work hours,” he snaps, and you realize that he’s definitely embarrassed, so you share a short look with Dazai, who has regained that mischievous look in his eyes as he glances over at Kunikida and back at you.

Without saying a word, or giving any other sort of warning, he leans in to press his lips against yours. It’s a short and chaste kiss, but his lips are soft and taste of candy, and you think you might be able to kiss them forever if you get the chance.

Now you’re the one flustered, you can feel heat rising to your cheeks as you stare at Dazai, who is evidently thoroughly pleased to not be the one uncomposed if the unscrupulous grin on his lips has anything to say about it.

He tosses you a wink before rolling his chair back over to his desk, animatedly complaining about Ranpo and Kunikida being lonely and bitter and getting in the way of Dazai’s chance at true love because of it—you only roll your eyes at his dramatics, as you usually do when Dazai goes off on tangents, but it’s with much more fondness this time.

•••

FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY

You are not listening to a single word that he’s saying.

It’s a dangerous situation to be in with Fyodor Dostoevsky, you’re sure he’s noticed by now and he will be petty enough to finish his brief about his plans and your involvement and then ask you to repeat what he said, but you just can’t focus.

He tied his hair back, you note, still quite a bit awed by the sight. There are two locks framing his face and his bangs are falling between his eyes, but the rest of his hair, which has grown a bit long in the weeks that he’s been ardently preparing for the final stages of his plan, is pulled back into a lax bun.

He looks so casual, and Fyodor Dostoevsky never looks casual. He’s dressed in a turtleneck and loose pants as he leans back in his chair. There’s a folder resting on his lap that he’s idly flipping through and he keeps glancing up at you occasionally, pale lips flat and violet eyes disapproving, but you just nod along to his words even though you know that he knows that you’re not paying attention.

And you think, distantly, that you probably should be paying attention because he’s talking about your upcoming mission and what you should expect from it but you figure you’ll be fine—it’s a simple infiltration mission, nothing to worry about. And you’d much rather prefer to appreciate Fyodor’s rare repose than to listen him droll on about boring topics.

Sometimes, you think if he just kept his mouth shut all the time, he’d be perfect. But you think you’d miss his sharp-witted comments and the lengthy debates the two of you have after a few glasses of wine.

He looks extra pretty tonight, even beyond the casual hairstyle and clothes and his uncharacteristically relaxed demeanor, and you think it’s because of the way the flames of the fireplace are casting an enchanting orange and red glow over his face. It makes the violets of his eyes burn alive in a way that they usually don’t, you’re far too used to the glacial visage they take whenever he puts his attention on someone. Every time he glances up at you, you swear that you can get lost in them.

“… And you are not listening to a word that I am saying, are you?”

Fyodor is giving you the heaviest side eye as he finally calls you out, expression unamused. His brows are furrowed and his pale skin is taut with thinly veiled irritation.

“Of course, I am,” you dismiss, waving your hand. “Infiltration mission, detective agency, get close to the tiger boy.”

Fyodor looks distinctly unimpressed by your words, brows deepening—you figure you must have spoken wrongly, you probably shouldn’t have been so indifferent, and you bite back a sigh before reaching forward to press two fingers between Fyodor’s eyebrows, as if to forcibly smooth away his annoyance.

He blinks and draws back, out of reach of your arm, and then casts you an even more irritable look.

“You’re not taking this seriously,” he accuses. “This mission will be dangerous, you’ll be at risk of being exposed every moment you are in the agency and if you are exposed-“

“Your plans will be ruined,” you finish, forcing yourself not to roll your eyes. “I kno-“

“You could be killed,” Fyodor corrected, voice cold and sharp, and you look back over to him. He looks unusually intense, and you’re not sure if it’s because of the appearance that the flames of the fireplace are giving him as they flicker dangerously across his face or if it’s because he’s that displeased with you being distracted. Either way, you find your mind drifting again because wow. “Dazai Osamu is not a man to be taken lightly. When he manages to figure out who you are and what you’re doing, we will need an immediate extraction plan.”

“Careful, Fyodor,” you drawl, watching as his violet eyes narrow briefly, “almost sounds like you care.”

Fyodor’s lips twist but he doesn’t respond. You raise your eyebrows, he looks away. Your eyes shoot open.

“You have a bigger role to play,” Fyodor finally says, but he’s no longer looking at you. “You cannot be killed yet.”

“Yet,” you repeat, amused. Fyodor’s jaw tightens, he doesn’t look at you, his eyes are trained on the fireplace to the side of the two of you and you can vaguely see the flames reflecting in his eyes, burning ardently against the familiar violet.

You lean forward again, shifting off of the couch to sit on the coffee table between the two of you so you can reach him. You reach forward to brush your knuckles against his cheek—he doesn’t move away this time, but his eyes cut to the side to watch you carefully.

You don’t say anything for a moment, absently tucking one of the locks of hair framing his face behind his ear. His hair is soft, freshly washed—for once—it smells faintly of lavender and vanilla and you wonder if he stole your conditioner.

“You look very pretty tonight, Fyodor,” you say quietly, and then smile. “It’s hard to focus when you look like this.”

The expression Fyodor directs toward you is extraordinarily blank, except for the faintest specks of pink that glare compared to the pallor of his face.

He shakes his head, looking away from you yet again.

“… You cause me much suffering,” he murmurs, and somehow, you know that might be the closest you might get to an admission of love from Fyodor Dostoevsky.

You smile to yourself. “And you to I,” you say, voice a bit teasing, and then you add, “Now, can you tell me again what to look out for?”

The moment is ruined. Fyodor’s eye twitches and he’s giving you that unamused look again, and you think having him repeat himself might be a mistake because now you’re even more distracted, but Fyodor sighs and starts on his lecture again so you force yourself to listen.

It takes about three minutes for him to release a sigh of utter suffering when he realizes that your eyes have glazed over yet again.

•••

NIKOLAI GOGOL

Nikolai has a wild sort of beauty about him. He’s unpredictable and dangerous, and it’s widely apparent in his frenzied laughter and chaotic behavior. His eye glitters and his teeth gleam sharply beneath the glow of the moonlight as he waves his hands around, animatedly describing to you all of the details of the things he’s been doing while you were away.

Fyodor’s masterplan has involved Nikolai apparently taken upon an infiltration role at the ministry of defense—you think it’s a bold move for Fyodor to use Nikolai for such a tenuous mission, but he’s apparently been having the time of his life with it. Though he thinks his boss is deplorable and one of his coworkers has evidently pissed him off beyond repair, because now he’s telling you about how he’s been ‘pranking’ the man in righteous vengeance.

You think Nikolai’s idea of pranking varies from yours, because you’re pretty sure him using his ability to break into the man’s house constitutes a crime not a prank. But you don’t have it in you to make that distinction when he’s so excitedly telling you about how every day he’s been going into his house to move around all of his stuff and hide some of his belongings to make the man squirm. He’s succeeding outstandingly in his ambition, if the videos he’s waving in front of you have anything to say about it.

You watch as he frantically scrolls to the next video—“this one is the best,” he claims, as he has for every video thus far. You watch with an amused smile as his dark-haired coworker steps into his apartment and nearly starts crying when he realizes that all of his stuff has been moved again, scrambling for his phone to call the police, who have—according to Nikolai—apparently already told him multiple times that there’s nothing they can do about it. The video is shaking wildly, as if the person filming can barely hold the camera straight, and you’re convinced that’s exactly what it is because you can hear Nikolai’s muffled laughter coming from recording.

Nikolai naturally finds it much funnier than you do, half-way keeling over as he wheezes, his laughter shattering the peaceful night. The two of you are sitting at a park near the apartment that Fyodor had leased for you for the duration of the Yokohama operation. The moon is high in the sky, casting a bewitching glow over the lake in front of you and there’s a chill in the air—it’s a nice night all around, you think there will probably some frost dusting the grass in the morning but the cold hardly bothers you now with Nikolai pressed to your side as he laughs himself into a near-coughing fit over his harassment of his coworker.

“Why aren’t you laughing?” Nikolai suddenly complains loudly, scowling at you, but even then he keeps having to bite back residual laughter whenever he glances back down at his phone. “It’s funny.”

“It is funny,” you agree. Nikolai gives you a look as if he doesn’t believe you. “It is.”

“Then why aren’t you laughing?” Nikolai accuses doubtfully, and then adds, even more accusatory, “You hate me.”

You’re not sure why you aren’t laughing, honestly. Usually you’d be burying your face into his shoulder trying to smother your snickers, because even though you might not entirely agree with Nikolai’s idea of a prank, you can still find some humor in it. Because it is kind of funny. Kind of.

But then you realize that you’re probably not laughing because you’ve been spending most of the night admiring Nikolai rather than listening to him prattle on about his escapades and watching his poorly recorded videos, so you can’t fully appreciate the humor in the videos. With his cheeks flushed from copious amounts of laughter and his eyes glowing with excitement, you think he’s very pretty tonight—Nikolai is always pretty, but the angle at which he’s sitting leaves the moon haloing behind his head, and maybe it’s just because you’ve missed him the past few weeks when you’ve been abroad dealing with a territory dispute with Tolstoy, but you think there’s something special about tonight.

“I don’t hate you. I guess I’ve been too busy admiring you,” you finally say, a playful smile on your lips as you tilt your head to the side to look at him. “You look pretty tonight.”

Nikolai blinks, eyes wide and owlish as he processes your words. The longer he goes unresponsive, you acknowledge that a quiet Nikolai is far more unnerving than a loud and erratic Nikolai, you’d expected a more… theatrical response to your comment. A swish of his cape, him leaping to his feet with a twirl and an agreement, even just a wild laugh; instead, he looks away abruptly. He doesn’t even just look away, he physically turns his whole body away from you.

You blink.

“Nikolai?” you ask, a bit astonished when he literally ignores you. You lean forward, trying to get a look at his face, but then he swivels around even more and your lips part in shock. “Nikolai.”

You’re only met with a face full of his soft white hair, impeccably braided, as per usual—you have half a mind to tug at it hard to try to get a response from him, but you aren’t in the mood for the lewd comment that would likely spill from his lips after.

“Koly-“

“Poor me, poor me,” Nikolai suddenly cries loudly, “The little koshenya mocks me when all I do is try to make her laugh. Poor me, poor me.”

His hand flies to his face, melodramatic as he bemoans your alleged cruelty. You stare at him, mind trying to piece together what exactly is happening—Nikolai is always hard to predict, but you feel like this is a bit strange even for him, and that’s saying something.

“… What?” you start to ask but Nikolai has thrown himself into a loud and theatrical tirade about how he doesn’t deserve such injustice and how he was only trying to make you laugh, and how it’s so, so cold-hearted of you to taunt him when this is the first time the two of you have seen each other in weeks.

Nikolai is impossible to bargain with when he gets like this, so you only sigh and tilt your head up to the sky, his words flying in one ear and out the other as you wait for him to settle down on his own.

Instead, you swear the world is against you because rather than settling down, he becomes increasingly more noisy and distressed, and his accusations become even more asinine. Now, he’s saying that you’ve always had it out for him and how you weren’t laughing at his jokes because you hate him and want to report him to the police and how he should tell Dostoy about your betrayal, or better yet, he should stuff you in his cloak and leave you there?

You side-eye Nikolai heavily as he continues on, slightly alarmed, but brush off the casual threat as just Nikolai being Nikolai. You don’t know how to shut him up, you think you might be out here all night listening to him, and now you’re the one bemoaning your fate because how did a simple compliment turn into this.

Finally, an idea strikes.

You brace yourself, questioning your sanity and your entire existence before you interrupt him with a loud, “Quiz time!”

Nikolai goes silent instantly, head snapping toward you, eye even wider than before.

You think you’ve hit an all time low as you say, “Was I trying to mock you before?” Nikolai opens his mouth to respond but you cut him off before he can. “What’s that you say? I wasn’t? Ding ding! We’ve gotta winner!”

You think Nikolai might be having an internal crisis. He’s staring at you as if he’s seeing you for the first time in his life—his lips are parted, his eye void of the usual mischief dancing in it. He looks as if he wants to say something but he doesn’t know what.

You let out a long breath as you go to speak up again, but before you can, his eye is glittering again, sharp and dangerous, and his lips are curving up into a slow smile.

Nikolai inhales and then he takes a complete one-eighty as he bursts into loud cackles and says, “Ahahaha! I knew you loved me!” as if he wasn’t just lamenting your irrational hatred for him moments before.

Your eye twitches. He begins a second tirade, this one far more embarrassing for you than the last.

You regret everything.

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r3stingangel · 6 months ago

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You wanna know what I hate? People who don't tag properly, whether it be on AO3, Tumblr, ECT. Tags exist for a fucking reason.

A great example of not tagging properly is a fic I found that was marked "Dazai/reader" so it must be an x reader, right? WRONG! It was a Dazai x AN OC. AN OC WITH A WHOLE ASS NAME.

It pisses me tf off

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angelsrcute · 7 months ago

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SEX OBSESSION. 𝜗𝜚

(´∀｀*)ε｀　) ౨ৎ N–sfw content !! ; Dom!Fyodor and Nikolai + Angel!Sub!Fem!Reader ➜cws: unprotected sex, use of lube, crying, praising, biting, corruption, creampie, double penetration, multiple rounds, fingering, nipple play, blowjob, hair pulling. ᡴꪫ‎

‎ ꒰ † ੭‎ For the event! + Fyodor calls you MIlaya(darling) n Nikolai calls you Myla moya(my dear) ヽ(´▽`)ノ

Curious. You were a very curious angel, oblivious too probably, believing that the world is just so good. For some reason, you met them, Fyodor and Nikolai, apparently from some group called ‘Decay of Angels’, what's that? No clue, but they seem quite nice.

And what were you doing right now? no clue either but you know that whatever they do makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. A sensation you've never felt, it feels so good that you're ready to do it anytime, anywhere. They tell you that it's something very close friends do. Angelic mind all corrupted, well can you blame them? you're just so cute when you beg for them to fuck you stupid!

All you remember is that fyodor was pent up and wanted to get some relief, Nikolai nodded away while giggling. I mean you were living here free of cost so it's only fair that you help your best friend relieve some stress, right? Maybe a movie night, or a game night–

So here you were, sucking Fyodor off while Nikolai worked on your pussy, thrusting two fingers inside you as he whispered sweet praises to your ears, “Such a good angel you are, Myla moya!” Nikolai purred while he was twisting and pinching your nipples, taking them in his mouth as he bit on them gently. Giving each bud equal attention.

Soft muffled gasps and moans left your lips, causing Fyodor to chuckle as he wiped the tears from your eyes, looking prettily at him through your lashes.

“Really, how sinful are you myshka? Aren't you supposed to be a divine being, hm?” He cooed, “God would definitely punish you for such sinful acts.” Earning a whine from you, he knows how devoted you are to the so-called God. More fun to tease you.

You could feel you were close, making your tummy all weird and hot. Fyodor grabs your hair, making you take more of him as he chases his own high, eyes closed as he mumbled something you couldn't focus on. You feel his cock twitch as he climaxes in your mouth, cursing, your eyes rolling back.

“You did a good job, MIlaya, now it's only fair that we return the favour, right?”

Your pussy coming around Nikolai's fingers. He pulled them out, licking up your juices, you were laying your head on Fyodor's thighs, all tired.

You could feel yourself being carried by Fyodor as he put you on the bed. Nikolai in front of your legs while Fyodor was behind you.

“Wait n-no, m’ too tired–” You managed to breathe out.

Well how did it feel being fucked by two cocks? you were absolutely disheveled. Sweat glistening from your forehead, arms wrapped around Nikolai as you bit down on his shoulder. You were so sensitive at this point, you don't remember what round this was but the only thing you could focus on is how good their cocks feel. Shoulders littered with love bites, fyodor played with your hardened nipples.

You were so sensitive, gasping at every movement. They both let out a grunt when they feels your gummy walls clench around them. You can't even let words out, just whimpers and moans.

“Shit, Myla moya, you're hurting me.” Nikolai whines, drawing slow circles on your puffy clit to soothe you. Your eyes all glossy, nail marks visible on Nikolai's shoulder alongside the bite marks you gave him to calm down.

After some time you feel both of them coming inside your holes, filling you up to the brim with their hot n sticky cum. Your stomach bulging a bit. The scent was so intoxicating as you three caught your breaths.

“MIlaya, let me run you a warm bath, you must be tired.” Fyodor let's out a chuckle at how sleepy you were, he caressed your cheeks.

He picked you up as he heard Nikolai pouting about how he also deserves to have that type of treatment too! “Not fairrr! Fedya, run me a bath too..”

Fyodor's lips curl into a smile as he nods and takes you to the bathroom, putting you in the bathtub, Nikolai joins soon after.

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baldgirl212 · 10 hours ago

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SNOW WHITEE PLEASE MAKE SURE TO REST IT’S VERY LATE WHERE YOU ARE

Would BSD men sacrifice their true love for the sake of the world, or would they let the world burn?

I know you are on a break for a while, so feel free to reply any time you feel like replying. However, I do sincerely wish you are resting properly and eating well. You are being missed and appreciated, our dearest Snow White, who is as beautiful and graceful as her name!

-🛵🌻

Awww, you’re flattering me, 🛵🌻-anon! Thank you so much. ♥️ Please forgive me for keeping some of these brief without much explanation—I’m still unwell. 🥺♥️

Please keep in mind that my requests are actually closed! I made an exception because this one intrigued me.♥️

Would BSD men sacrifice their true love for the sake of the world, or would they let the world burn?

Featured characters: Fyodor Dostoevsky, Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nikolai Gogol, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke.

BSD MEN x fem!reader

I know this might surprise many of you, but I believe FYODOR might actually be capable of sacrificing the world for his darling. While we don’t know much about him, we do know he is intensely focused on his singular goal and unwaveringly confident in it. However, love is unpredictable—it can make even the most logical person act irrationally. Fyodor, being a semi-canon yandere and canonically willing to gift his darling an entire country as a Valentine’s Day present, shows that he could prioritise his darling in unexpected ways.

Though he is detached and calculative, this doesn’t necessarily mean his obsession lies solely with his ideal world and not his darling. His perception of love likely wouldn’t be romantic or warm—after all, this is Fyodor we’re talking about—but that doesn’t make it any less consuming. If he were to sacrifice the world, it would likely appear to be a practical, impersonal decision on the surface, though it would stem from deeply personal feelings.

Of course, his darling would have to bear the burden of being his weakness, paying the price for making him burn the world down for her.

DAZAI doesn't see a reason to live and has a complicated inner moral compass

—if he even has one at all. If he were to find another reason to live beyond his darling, he might let the world burn to protect that purpose. Otherwise, he would likely choose to sacrifice his darling along with himself, as he would want to die together with them.

In doing so, he would simultaneously honour Odasaku's dying wish to save innocent people and do good, while also fulfilling his own desire for a double suicide—albeit in a twisted and tragic way.

CHUUYA… my beloved Chuuya. He would sacrifice you for the sake of the world, but not without crying his heart out in the process. He’s someone who carries his heart on his sleeve, no matter how much he tries to mask it with his tough exterior. This decision wouldn’t just break him—it would shatter him. He’d be haunted by the memory of what he’d done, the sound of your voice, your smile, and the warmth you brought into his life.

After that, he would never be the same. Chuuya, with all his passion and fire, would lose a part of himself—his joy, his light, and perhaps even his will to keep going. Though he wouldn’t let the world burn for you, his sacrifice would scorch his soul in ways no one else could see. He would shoulder the weight of the decision, carrying it like an eternal wound, always hidden beneath his bravado.

I don’t believe he has it in him to let the entire world burn just to keep you. Chuuya’s sense of duty, his unwavering commitment to the people he cares for, and his understanding of the bigger picture wouldn’t allow him to prioritise one life over billions. But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t destroy him. Deep down, he’s just a man with a heart far too big for the world he lives in.

Yet, in his own way (or maybe even literally), he would die the day you did. Perhaps he would let himself waste away, quietly fading from the world as he lost the only person who made it feel like home. Or perhaps he would go out in a blaze of fury, throwing himself into battles he knew he wouldn’t return from. Either way, the Chuuya you knew—the one who loved you with all his being—would be gone, leaving only a shadow of the man who once was.

NIKOLAI is an obsessive individual, deeply scarred by trauma, pain, and mental instability. He would undoubtedly let the world burn for his darling. Despite his philosophical outlook, which claims to encompass all of humanity, his approach is ultimately rooted in his own personal experiences and inner struggles. At the end of the day, everything is about him.

His so-called friendship with Fyodor is a prime example of this—he clings to it not because Fyodor is a fascinating person in his own right, but because he believes Fyodor is the only one who truly understands him. Not once have we seen Nikolai genuinely reflect on Fyodor’s goals or thoughts. Similarly, his darling would need to be someone who both understands and cherishes him, which would inevitably drive his romantic obsession with her.

There’s no chance Nikolai would sacrifice his darling for anything. However, after letting the world burn for her, would he ultimately kill her because she understands him better than even Fyodor? The possibility is disturbingly high.

Before meeting the ADA Dazai and Atsushi, AKUTAGAWA would likely have let the world burn for his darling without hesitation. His overwhelming need for validation, coupled with his devotion to those he holds dear, would drive him to extreme lengths, prioritising his personal attachments above all else. His harsh upbringing and struggles for survival have made him fiercely protective of those who matter to him, making it plausible that he would abandon the world for his darling’s sake.

However, after his experiences with Atsushi, Akutagawa would find himself in a moral dilemma. These encounters push him to question his black-and-white worldview, challenging him to consider the value of broader ideals like justice, compassion, and sacrifice for the greater good. His budding respect for Atsushi and his complex, unresolved feelings toward Dazai would weigh heavily on his conscience, creating an internal struggle.

While he may still feel a deep, almost obsessive desire to protect his darling at any cost, the lessons he’s learned would make him pause.

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justcallmesakira · 8 months ago

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You pounce on him, god this insufferable bastard always got you on your nerves, teasing about your status, grades and everything.

"God you idiot! Can you stop your mockery for one fucking second?" you exclaim your legs trapping his body down to the floor.

Everyone in school was watching your and his fights everyday, even the teachers were so fed up.

"What is it now, sweetie? Mad?" even so he teases you literally pinned against the ground.

"Shut the fuck up you manwhore" you reply back with anger in your movement your body creating slight friction against his which you djdnt notice.

You glare at him as if hes some leech heck he would only grin nastily if you did

"Ah just like that, love You hit the spot~"

He moans out, arousol in his tone which instantly made a hue in your cheeks appear but you had deemed it as anger and you instantly get up. Everyone was looking at you two whispering stuff like "theyre so dating" "its giving academic rivals".

While he was there just grinning cheekily, your glare piercing through his naughty ones.

"Cats got your tongue~"

+ DAZAI, NIKOLAI, fyodor, RANPO, DABI, bakugo, GOJO, geto and your cheeky favs :3

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hopelessdazai · 8 months ago

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✿ 》 To Hold or Be Held?

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; writing witj this many characters was scary . pls ignore any typos or errors or mischaracterisation im learning. reblogs appreciated!!

╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; Chuuya, Dazai, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor, gn!reader ( fem terms in fyodors and mentions of boobs in nikolais parts )

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; fluff, cuddles, all those nice things, nikolai being nikolai, possible mischaracterisation

dazai

dazai doesn't have a preference. he enjoys both being held and holding you for the same reason. when he's holding you, he's holding on tight - part of him is still scared you're gonna leave him if he gets too comfortable. and if you're holding him he always finds himself melting into you, his hands shakily gripping at your clothes as he smothers himself against your chest. he adores how your hands find his hair and comb through it. if he puts all his weight onto you, you can't go anywhere, right?

".. 'm sorry .. don't get up, just five more minutes. I'll be good ..- you're warm .. 'm sorry.. "

chuuya

chuuya prefers to hold. be adores the feeling of you in his arms, it makes him feel like he's protecting you from the known - blanketed by his strong embrace. he traces 'I love you's on your back knowing you're too comfortable and sleepy to know what he's writing - his thumb writes his name into your hip when you think he's just rubbing circles. little possessive things like that, just to quietly manifest that you stay with him. he can press a gentle kiss to the top of your head and tease you for being so clingy ; even though he's holding you tight too.

".. you need the bathroom? .. you can hold it, jus' stay with me for a while longer .. I love you .. pretty thing you are .."

atsushi

atsushi prefers to hold. while he won't ever deny being held, usually he finds himself pulling you on top of him to keep you in his embrace while he takes a nap. your head on his chest and his arms resting around your waist, while he gently purrs to soothe you to sleep with him. he hasn't been able to take solo naps since you've been around - and he knows you enjoy resting with him too, anyway. so what's the harm when he tugs you over to the detective agency couch and asks you to take a quick break? you've both been working hard , after all.

"let's have a quick break, okay? we can stay finish everything later .. you're gonna exhaust yourself out, sweetheart .. just 10 minutes .."

akutagawa

akutagawa prefers to be held. he'll never admit it to anyone, especially not to you. but you can see the way he relaxes and sinks into you when you wrap your arms around him. the way he takes a long exhale and his shoulders deflate as your hand traces a certain spot on his back. he likes listening to your heartbeat, he likes knowing you're alive and with him for who he is - and not what he can do. he's still learning to love and to trust, but it's a little easier when it's by your side. he hopes you wont leave him, he'll work to impress you as he grows.

".. what? no, I'm not falling asleep. you're imagining things. you .. mm .. can you do that again ?"

nikolai

nikolai doesn't have a preference. he's like a big dog, despite his size he'll absolutely lay himself on top of you and nuzzle into your chest. if you have boobs then he won't be moving for a while, so kiss your oxygen goodbye. whenever he wants to hold you, he's not really one to ask ; he'll just drag you over onto him or use a portal to drop you into his lap, then he's clinging to you and whining desperately whenever you try to leave. he's just big and clingy, but can you fault him? he finds you so comforting.

" .. where are you going? no! you can't leave .. do you not love me anymore ?.. why do you wanna leave !.. just stay with me .. thank you .."

fyodor

fyodor prefers to hold. if neither was an option, it'd most likely be that. but he regularly asks you to come sit on his lap while he works. a small whistle as he turns his chair, patting his thigh - and he'll wrap an arm around you to keep you close. he's not too affectionate, and too much touching before your marriage repulses him. but he'll learn to deal with these little moments for a while - it gives him his energy back and helps him with a little push to finish his work so you rest together.

" .. зайчик .. come here. no, I'm not finished. just come. don't be disobedient , now .. there we are. good girl."

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luvfy0dor · 3 months ago

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“Forgetting Something? ♡⁠˖” BSD Men x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Osamu Dazai, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma

Warnings; I feel bad for writing this out, hardly proofread, kinda rushed, maybe ooc

Description; how do they react to you ignoring their 'i love you's?

A/n; hi chat. If I keep flopping I am going to sell my soul. Like, reblog, and comment on this I pray and plead and beg. I've been havin a rough time guys pls.

Osamu Dazai ★

"I'll be back soon, I love you." He said, grabbing his jacket. Instead of the usual response, all he got from you was silence. He raised a brow and cleared his throat while buttoning up his coat. "I said I'll be back soon, I love you." He says, this time emphasizing his words. You hummed, your nose still buried in the book that your boyfriend had so kindly borrowed from Kunikida to give to you. His mouth hung open slightly and he straightened his posture. "Do you want anything while I'm out?" Dazai asked, his hand lingering on the doorknob as he stalled. "Ehhh, not really. Thank you, though.'" You turned a page, kicking your feet back and forth slowly while you read. "Alright, back in a bit, I love you." He twisted the door handle and waited for you to reply, only to once again hear silence. He sighed in annoyance and walked back over to you, leaving the door agape. "I said I love you, say it back!" He takes the book out of your hands, tossing it to the side without letting you mark your place. "Hey-! I was reading that!" You say with a grin. He tsks and shakes his head playfully, leaning over you and essentially pinning you to the couch to kiss you. "Just say it back." He murmurs against your lips in between brief pecks to your face. "F-fine! I love you!" You finally get out while giggling. "Good, you had me thinking you had fallen out of love with me! Now I'm leaving for real, even though you made me not want to. I love you." He says before kissing your lips quickly and backing up to the door. "I love you too, Osa."

Chuuya Nakahara ★

"I'm headin' out, 'kay babe?" Chuuya quietly said, his voice just above a whisper in the dark bedroom. It was about 5:30 am, and you were still curled up under the blankets, grateful that you didn't have to leave until 7. "Mmmm.." you hummed and lifted your arm from under the blanket to give him a quick hug and kiss before he left. He cupped your cheek and ran his thumb acrossed your skin before he pulled away. "I love you." He says, standing back up. Instead of responding like usual, you just pulled your blanket back up to your shoulders. He stared down at you with his hands on his hips, waiting. "...are you done gettin' comfy yet?" He asks, helping you move the blanket around and essentially tucking you in. "Yeah, thanks Chuu." You murmur before you yawn and close your eyes. He continues to stand there before sighing and grabbing his jacket off the hook on the door. "Alright, see ya when I get home I guess." Slight annoyance was evident in his voice before you peeked open your eyes again. "Mkay, I love you too, have a good day at work." Chuuyas frown almost turned upside down immediately as he came to an abrupt stop. "Jeez, don't take so long to say that next time. Had me worried." You giggled, still curled up. "I will, I promise." And with that, Chuuya was off to work with a small grin plastered on his face and your simple 'i love you too' lingering in his heart longer than usual this morning.

Fyodor Dostoevsky ★

Fyodor had recently returned from his adventures in Europe, and even after a week passed, you still couldn't help but be overtly affectionate. You were almost sure that 'i love you' and 'i missed you' were your top phrases in the passed week. But what if you just didn't say it? You decided to indulge in your curiosity one evening while the two of you were in bed. He sat, propped up against his pillow, watching some documentary on the TV. You were cuddled up to his side and his arm was draped over your shoulders. Every now and again, he'd glance down at your nearly-asleep form, rubbing his hand on your shoulder and down your back. "Goodnight, moya lyubov, I love you.'" He leaned down to kiss your forehead, smiling as you open your eyes. He waited to hear you say it back, only to watch you close your eyes again. He felt a bit confused, raising an eyebrow. "Have you gotten everything out of your system and won't tell me you love me anymore?" He asks, retracting his arm from its place around you to his lap. "No, Fedya, m'sorry, I love you too. I just wanted to see what you'd do." You say, grabbing his arm and putting it around you yourself. He sighed. "what a stupid thing to to." He mumbles, continuing to hold you, but returning his attention to the documentary. "I love you, Fyodor, I promise." You mumble, kissing his side through his shirt. "Mhm, I love you too." You smiled contently and felt yourself slip off into a dreamy sleep, happy to know that he cared whether or not you say 'i love you' back.

Nikolai Gogol ★

Nikolai, like Fyodor, had ALSO just returned from his trip to Europe, except he was equally as all over you as you were him, not to say Fyodor isn't affectionate. Nikolai would cling to you every chance he got, always peppering your face with kisses and fiddling around with your fingers. "Ah, I'm still so happy to be home, y/n. I missed you so much while I was away! Not that I never knew before, but it really made me realize how much I love you." He says with a smile, sitting on your lap and hugging you, his cheek pressed against your shoulder. "Did it?" Your finger tips ghost over his back, leaving goosebumps in their wake as they go. "Yeah. I love you a lot." He says. A thought crossed your mind, what would he do if you didn't say you loved him back? Well, I guess we've gotta find out. "Mmmhm!" You hum, resting your head on top of his. "Did you hear me right?" He asks with a raised eyebrow, picking up his head to look at you. "Yeah, you said you love me." You say, looking back and forth between his eyes and lips. "So say it back." He says. You sigh and rub his hip. "If you insist, I love you too, Nikolai. I'm sorry." He grins and kisses your cheek. "That wasn't that hard, now was it?" You run your fingers through his long hair. "No, not at all." He sighs. "Don't let it happen again, or else I'll see to it that it's the laat time." He huffs, returning to his spot resting against your shoulder. You patted his back, slightly amused by his words- he clearly cared. "Alright, Kolya, I'm sorry."

Sigma ★

You almost knew what Sigmas reaction would be before you stopped yourself from responding to his 'I love you'. You had fixed some tea for him and were bringing it into his office, holding the cup and saucer steadily as the sounds of your footsteps echoed in the hall. You knocked on the door and entered once you heard his muffled voice through the thick wood. "I brought you tea." You say with a smile, approaching his desk and handing it to him, which he took appreciatively. "Thank you, y/n, I appreciate it." He gave you a smile. "I'd like to finish what I'm doing by this evening so we can have some time together, or else I'd keep you here to talk for a bit, so I'll just have to see you later. I love you." He said, already redirecting his attention to the papers in front of him. "Okay, that's fine." You turned to leave and as you got about half way to the door, his head shot up. "Are you upset?" He asks, his brows knitted together. "No, why?" You ask, turning to look at him over your shoulder. "You didn't say it back." He says, putting his pen down and starting to stand up, but you put your hands out to stop him. "Oh, no, I'm sorry- I don't know why I didn't, I love you too. I'll see you later, alright?" You blew him a kiss and exited his office, leaving him a bit confused but at least a little reassured. He sat back down at his office as you closed the door behind you, and you felt a bit guilty, but in the end, you were too busy being excited for your guy's time together that night.

A/n: I DIDNT FINISH THIS UNTIL 10 MINUTES AFTER POSTING TIME BUT UH I MADE A STRAW PAGE LINK IN DIRECTORY YAYAYAYYA

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honeydazai · 11 months ago

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୨୧·࣭࣪̇˖ 𝆬 sharing a bed with them 𓏸

feat.: Dazai, Chūya, Ranpo, Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma

content: pre-relationship bed sharing, flirty/mildly sexual implications

It's truly unfortunate that, while on a mission for the Agency, you have to share a bed with DAZAI — or so you think, at least. He doesn't share the sentiment in the slightest, instead smiling as innocently as possible the moment his gaze falls onto the single bed in the hotel room booked for the night. While he pretends to offer you the bed, he'll guilt-trip you about the couch being way too short for his long legs and about his back already aching until, eventually, you give in and share it with him.

Naturally, he gets into your space more than necessary at night, pretending he's asleep while cuddling close to you, given how, then, you can't cuss him out for wrapping an arm around your waist and burying his face in your neck, breath warm against your throat. It's worse that he knows if you won't get any amount of sleep whatsoever, much too busy with fighting off arousal while he's pressed flush against your back.

“Hm? No, it's alright. I don't mind taking the couch. What kind of man would I be if I let you sleep on there? Still, it's just — it's way too short and hard. Couches this uncomfortable shouldn't exist, really. I doubt I'll be able to get even a wink of sleep tonight, what a shame.”

When there turns out to only be one bed in the hotel room you're supposed to stay in for the night, CHŪYA doesn't even hesitate before offering you the bed, immediately going for the couch instead. He won't accept any protests either; no matter whether you're worried about his comfort or just think it's polite to refuse his offer, he won't allow you to spend the night on a sofa. He's not making a huge deal out of it and, if you keep being annoying about it, he gets more and more exhausted by the minute.

Eventually, he might give in to the idea of sharing the bed. He has no trouble keeping to himself — or so he believes, because, once he's actually asleep, softly snoring into your ear, he's moving wildly, one leg eventually thrown over your body, arms stretched out. If you mention it to him in the morning, his cheeks flush soft pink.

“Hm? The fuck you mean, you'll be taking the sofa? Definitely not. I'm already here — and I don't mind. Go lie down and get some sleep. We've got a busy day tomorrow.”

RANPO, the very moment he steps foot into the room, decides he wants the bed to himself. The idea of taking the couch doesn't even cross his mind; instead, he makes his way over to the bed all too quickly, though, when you end up either glaring at him or asking him to share, he just shrugs.

Really, he doesn't make too big of a deal out of sharing a bed, not even seeming a little nervous at the idea of lying down beside you for hours on end. Meanwhile, at night, he cuddles up close to you — actually asleep, unlike a certain someone —, arms wrapped around you, for once completely unaware of you being all flustered because of him. In the morning, it'll be like nothing happened, even though you can't quite stop thinking about

“What are you looking at me like that for? I said we can share. If you're hoping to have it for yourself, tough luck. I was here first, just saying. Just get in or move to the couch already, I'm tired.”

All of FYODOR'S decisions are based on logic; this one is no exception. If the bed is large enough to fit two people, it's large enough for the two of you to share — though, if you feel like taking the couch instead, he won't protest. That's your decision to make, after all.

While actually sharing the bed with him, it's basically like you're alone in there, anyway. He doesn't move when asleep, doesn't make a sound; it's all too easy to imagine he's not even there, even though, occasionally, a dark strand of hair might brush against your face. What you don't know, however, is that he, at night, while you're fast asleep, he takes the time to watch you up close, lilac eyes tracing over every plane of your face.

“I do not mind sharing the bed with you. I hope you feel similarly. We both are adults, are we not? I doubt this will be an issue. Just lie down.”

NIKOLAI is undoubtedly amused by the idea of sharing a bed with you. He doesn't waste a single thought towards either of you taking the sofa instead; nonsense, just why would you do that? There's a perfectly fine bed right there, and surely both of you are mature enough to share one without any issues, right? Wrong.

He makes a point of being as obnoxious as possible, cuddling close to you the very second you lie down. It doesn't help that he's both tall and strong, his arms closed around your waist so you can't even try to get away or up, and he makes a point of whining whenever you attempt to squirm away. It's going to be a long night.

“What's the matter? Why are you moving so much? Stop it, I won't be able to fall asleep this way. Or — ah, are you trying to rile me up on purpose? That's naughty of you, sweetheart.”

SIGMA immediately makes a beeline for the couch the second he notices the dilemma of having a double bed rather than two separate ones booked. He won't even discuss the topic with you; he doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable or forced to sleep on a sofa, so he'll do it instead. There's no whining or guilt tripping from his end; he simply accepts his fate for the night. There's worse things to endure.

If you're incredibly serious about convincing him, however, he might just give in, even though his cheeks feel a little warmer than usual when he lies down next to you, making sure there's an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you. If there's anything he doesn't want, it's you thinking he's trying to be creepy after you've decided to trust him — he probably ends up barely getting any sleep, just because he's worried about accidentally getting too close to you.

“Are you sure you're alright with this? I really don't mind spending the night on the sofa instead. ... Well, if you're sure — thank you.”

NEW POST AGAIN FINALLY AA my commissions are open, by the way!! dm me if interested! 💜

join my tag list!

tags: @irethepotato @beandaifuku , @the-foreigner , @ranpobb, @arixsux, @dei-lilxc , @atsyushi @satoruislove @pastelsbaby @marina-and-the-memes @texchou @shiggysredhead @savagemickey03 @rosepxtlz @nikolaiswife @okura-s @ladykatakuri @lunerenzo @berywritesstuff @Chxrry-doll @xelia25 @yuuotosaka3 @double-black-dazai @alice0blog @fyodorstolenushanka @ttaiyaki @itsnovariella @black-rose-29 @fyodorscumsock @ayshaashaya @qxxstuff @serenareiss @atsvsh1 @dilucshandholder @reiikonee @1-800-mocha

@xvocadooo @hexiisexii @cupxfcxffee @jodidann @Happymoon16 @yumidepain @nchuuyahq @janeinerz @Aaronthegreatestsimp @fanfiction-waifu @KimxKiba @Morigumy @villainouspotential @ashthemadwriter-uwu @mrsdostoevsky @nikolaisgoofyahhhat @yeonwoomyheartbelongstoyou @hellgirlwhore @c4xcocoa @lyrstybsd @angelsrunes @wuaoqu @disa-ster @aspookyscaryghost @nikolaisboner @urgodmoon @polish-anon @arisu-chan4646nsfw @eroscastle @somnobun @birbysaur @Senpaible @hyunlixie143 @dababyurmom @4nthonyyliving @scinclaitnoir @Snips18 @satohruu @flowzel

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ashthemadwriter · 2 months ago

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I Was Never Gay!

#FEATURING. Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Nikolai, Atsushi, Akutagawa

#CONTENT. Smau, crack, humor, suggestive

#NOTE. A little something while I'm working on my kinktober fics <3

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moncouerbrise · 4 months ago

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(𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫, 𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢, 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢, 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚)

𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 + 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙚𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙨

Reminder: English isn't my first language, mistakes can and will probably be made

𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫

I'm sorry guys but this guy is boring. Missionary and missionary only. If you're being a good girl to him then he may want to try something you'll suggest.

Maybe from the back, that way he can pull on your hair whenever you're not being obedient to him.

The biggest manipulater when it comes to this too. And if you cry even better. You're only making yourself seem more vulnerable to him. Allowing him another shot at breaking you. Literally or metaphorically.

Either way, he MAY or may not be nice to you afterwards depending how good you took him.

𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢

Freakiest of the freaks. Missionary, doggy, side, mantis, standing up, whatever allows him access.

Personally, mating press is the way to go for him. It's just such an obvious choice for him how could he not.

He gets to be knees deep inside of you, while his face and body is also close to yours? Of course.

I also think he would like to tie you up once in a while. Carress his hands all over your body watching you shudder at his touch.

Its possible to see him leaving marks all over your collarbone rather than your neck, considering he was a few sharp teeth

Basically,

He's a tease, both outside and behind closed doors.

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢

This guy's hard. I think he would like any position that would have him in you.

But I would say cowgirl.

He would love to see you from above. Like the person he worships every second.

Yeah he might be a womanizer, but at least you were able to change that (?)

But don't be fooled. Just because you're technically on top, dosent mean you're in control. <3

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚

Not quite sure how to put this one. But you're laying down, he's on top, but you're legs at wrapped around his waist instead.

Usually after being in a sit-like position where you seemed bratty, so he grabbed you by the hips and flipped you over.

Resulting in that position.

Reminder that even without his ability he is naturally rough. Though he is a gentlemen too, especially when it comes to after care.

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vanilladove · 2 months ago

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⋆₊ ♱ perv!ghost!nikolai

spooktober 2024 masterlist | divider creds adornedwithlight

ཐི ♱₊ཋྀ pairing: ghost!nikolai x fem!reader

ཐི ♱₊ཋྀ genre: smut headcanons; 18+ only!!

ཐི ♱₊ཋ content warnings: shameless smut/nsfw, mentions of size kink, alcohol + drug use, lowk dubcon, slight angst at end, nikolai’s pov（＾ω＾）

ཐི ♱₊ཋ notes: experimenting with something new lmk if u guys like it or not 😔 kicking off spooktober as an apology for delays; babusya = ukrainian grandma

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who haunts an old apartment near a local circus; who still retains his maniacal trouble maker personality as a ghost

he settled on the apartment after an old babusya let him in and allowed him to stay there, offering his favorite piroshki in exchange for protection from other spirits. he messes with her, but doesn’t do anything too harmful—just some silly pranks

who gets bored after babusya passes away and new tenants move in

he’s really done everything he can to scare the shit out of all the tenants, but they keep coming and leaving—some even having the audacity to try exorcising him (it didn’t work)

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who has an insatiable urge to kill until he sees you, a sweet heartbroken girl, come to the apartment your ex was supposed to live with you in

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who decides to have some fun with you—he hasn’t seen anyone close to his age yet, and no one as pretty and cute as you

he starts small—moving things around, making noise + randomly braiding your hair at night, stealing things from your bags, switching lights on and off, etc.

he gets pissed when you take no notice, only drinking and crying over your stupid, ugly ex—seriously, nikolai saw the pictures of them and thought you could do way better

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who can’t look away from you while you undress before showering, admiring your perfect ass and tits and the soft curves of your body

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who switches your medications/supplements with aphrodisiac pills and waits until you take them while drunk, telling himself he just wants to see a reaction from you, but he has ulterior motives

he watches intensely as you suddenly feel hot and slip your fingers in your bra and panties, touching yourself in a lust-consumed frenzy

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who can’t stop himself from watching you whimper helplessly since the sensations aren’t enough—of course he has to help his little dove out by materializing both hands

he uses one to rub circles around your pretty clit and puts the other one in your mouth, training your throat for his big cock

you're too lost in the drug-fueled lust to pay any mind to the fact his hands appeared out of nowhere—you probably think it's just a sex dream

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who loves how you choke on his fingers, tears of pleasure streaming down your heated face as he inserts his long fingers in your wet pussy, watching your eyes roll back in pleasure as he hits the spots inside that you can’t reach without toys

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who savors the taste of your sweet release on his fingertips before replacing the fingers in your mouth with his cock, pushing it in with little warning

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who gets so fucking turned on by the way you adjust to his size and take him so well, using your hands to pump the length you can’t fit in your mouth

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who rewards his good little girl with his cum, shooting it down into your throat as you swallow every last drop and lick him clean, still aroused

deciding to help you out, he materializes fully and lines his tip up with your entrance, panting because he’s so close to being inside you, his latest obsession

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who pushes himself in your warm cunt, inch by inch, admiring your fucked-out glossy eyes and the arousal stuck on your thighs

he smirks when you suddenly get shy and cover your face, flustered by how attractive he is and how much pressure he’s causing in your insides

who whispers sweet nothings as you whimper from the uncomfortable stretch and assures you that you can take it all, licking the pricking tears from your eyes

he moves your hands away from your face and drags them across his abs and long white braid, occasionally peppering your body with kisses, and braiding stray strands of hair to calm you down while you adjust to his size—he can tell how full you are from the big bulge in your stomach

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who starts moving once you give him a cute nod, moving deep and slow at first until you're more used to his size

he litters kisses around your chest, kitten licking your swollen nipples which he knows are sensitive

he loves the way you slightly buck your hips up to meet his thrusts, occasionally pressing against your stomach and groaning when he can feel himself inside of you

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 breathes heavily against your smooth skin, his large hands around your waist to keep your squirming frame in place

who burrows himself into your neck as his strokes get slower, who tells you to say his name as you chase your own orgasm

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who cums when a soft i love you, nikolai rolls off your tongue, as you mess up his once neat white braid

he collapses gently on top of you--he doesn't remember the last time someone's addressed him so adoringly

he listens intently to your heartbeat, reminding him that you’re alive and he’s dead; his cold figure hugging your warm body

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who strokes your hair and rambles about nothing until you fall asleep, telling himself he's just using you for entertainment, despite the tightness in his chest

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 who disappears in the morning but still watches you intently, waiting for another lonely night where he can touch you

#vanilladove #【ｖａｎｉ＇ｓ　ｓｐｏｏｋｔｏｂｅｒ　２０２４】#vanilladovebsd #nikolai x reader #bungo stray dogs #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai smut #bsd smut #bungou stray dogs #bsd #nikolai gogol x reader smut #nikolai gogol #nikolai gogol smut #nikolai x reader smut #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #spooktober #kinktober

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