xechu
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infp - daydreamer - coffee enjoyer - 18+ mdnijjk fanfic scribbler - major i can fix him energy
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After having a lil breakdown over me not having much inspiration and time recently to draw and write, I managed to cook this up ✨
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cw: nsfw, fem!reader, 18+ mdni, sexual content
notes: from the same au as my one shot: "Warm on a Cold Night" // check out part 1 HC here & part 2 HC here
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who has an insatiable sex drive, especially when it comes to you. It still boggles his mind that you're the perfect combination of sexy and cute.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - would prefer it if you didn’t use toys (except for butt plugs). Why use it when you have him? That doesn't stop you from owning them though, you like it when he gets a bit riled up.
"What is this useless junk?" He scowled.
"I couldn't wait, Ryo," you admitted.
"Tsk, so impatient. Well then, show me how you played with yourself, and then I'll show you how I can top that," he smirked.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - may not be the most patient man to walk this green earth, but when the two of you are getting down and dirty, he will make sure each time you are coming undone, screaming his name, and clawing his back - no matter how long it took. If the two of you happened to be experimenting that day, he'll make sure that you are enjoying yourself, and if it doesn't work out, then he'll immediately switch back to something he knows will get you cumming.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - loves grabbing your hips and thighs, not just during sex but even outside of the bedroom.
"So, what are we thinking here? Have you decided?" He snuck up behind you and placed his hands around your hips.
"Hm, I'm not so sure, Ryo," you let out a small sigh as you contemplated on which dress to buy for your upcoming vacation to Greece.
"Why not get both then?" He says nonchalantly.
"I don’t know…it’s quite expensive."
"What am I? Chopped liver? I’m paying for them, why should you care?" He was genuinely offended.
Or, when you're at home watching Netflix (usually he goes with whatever you want to watch, he's not much of a TV/shows guy):
"I can't believe it! He actually did it," you turned to Sukuna, as the crime documentary you were watching was coming to an end.
"It's so fucking obvious he did it, I could tell immediately that he's batshit crazy," he rolled his eyes, taking in another swig of beer. His hand was on your thigh, as he mindlessly rubbed circles with his thumb.
"Okay, next one!" You said all giddy, reaching for the remote, but Sukuna stops you.
"Hey, it's my turn to have some fun," he murmurs, as he trails kisses down your neck.
Needless to say, he (and you) had a fair share of fun for the rest of the night.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who would almost always fuck you in the back of his car whenever you came to visit him for lunch. He would tell Jin and the other workers that he's taking you out for lunch, and while he does treat you to a nice lunch (by the way, he loved it when you ate well), you also become his afternoon dessert.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - loves to push you to your limits in the bedroom. The more you say you can't take it anymore, the more it spurs him on.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - has an overstimulation and exhibitionism kink. On one of your travels, he brought you to a fancy hotel with a floor to ceiling window, where he had your naked body pressed against the window while he savagely fucked you from behind.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - isn't super talkative during sex. He would grunt, swear, and praise you once in a while - that's about it.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - usually prefers to top, as someone who has a tendency to dominate and be in control. But if you request to be on top he will gladly oblige. Highkey revels in it when you caught a mood that day and use his dick to blow off some steam.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - given how badly he lusts for you, one would expect that he has some obscene photo of you on his lock screen, but surprisingly it's very tamed. It's a photo of you smiling by the ocean when the two of you visited Paros (Greece). He also has that same picture of you in a photo print, put in a very expensive silver frame, and proudly displayed in his workstation. If you couldn't tell already, that's his favorite photo of you. You were always so goddamn beautiful when you smiled.
"Shit, Ryo - that your girl?" one of his regular customers asked.
"Mhm, that's my woman," he responded casually, but inside he was brimming with pride.
"Does she have any single friends that y'know - kinda has the same vibe as her?"
"Like what you see, huh?" It was more of a challenge than a genuine question.
"Eep."
(Even during your one year separation, he still had the photo on his workstation, and on his lock screen - but he will never tell you that)
ex/boyfriend!sukuna- speaking of pictures, he has this one polaroid picture of you that absolutely brings him to his knees (you secretly slipped it in his back pocket for Valentine's Day). It is carefully tucked between his ID and cards in the window slot of his wallet.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna- said polaroid picture is of you in black lingerie, splayed out on his bed, with crotchless panties and a jeweled butt plug. Needless to say, that night you both had your fill of wild, steamy, debauched sex.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - on the topic of that R rated polaroid, he would get all on edge when someone touches his wallet, but ironically, he couldn't give two shits about his phone (even though there are also some obscene pictures of you two in there too. His FBI can see it for all he cares). That polaroid though, was for his eyes only. He had a nightmare one time where he got pulled over and instead of giving his ID to the cop, he accidentally gave the photo. In the nightmare the cop says to him "Hm, interesting. I'll confiscate this and you can be on your merry way, buddy." He thought he was going to have to go to jail a second time. After that, he begrudgingly put the polaroid in his safe.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who noticed the way your eyes slightly darkened when Choso (his apprentice) accidentally mentioned in front of you that he had a frenum piercing. He is now seriously contemplating on getting one himself.
a/n: The polaroid and Choso incident was something that happened after the events of 'Warm on a Cold Night'. Do we all want our big strong Kuna to get the piercing or nah? ;)
#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk fanworks#jjk headcanons#jjk reactions#sukuna headcanons#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna smut#sukuna#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen
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Oml, I didn't realize that I was being such a menace with my posts this whole time?!
I thought tumblr would now automatically condense long posts via users own settings.
Anyway, I've learned the art now, so I went back and added a 'read-more' link to all my chapters and oneshots.
Also, in case you might be wondering what's happening with chapter 4 of [Devour], I was ready to post it last week and then I reread and felt extremely uninspired by what I wrote, so I took it back to the drawing board. And then in between I got distracted and I ended up writing a gojo x reader longshot...so that's also coming out.
Thank you for enduring this. x
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After much deliberation, I have decided to open up an ao3 account. It's barren right now, but I will try to update it once I'm home from work.
Here is the link if any of you are interested!
I think I will only post my series works/longer reads on that platform. For now, my main focus is still here on tumblr. There's no particular reason why I never had an ao3 account/other writing platforms, I just struggle to balance between multiple accounts.
Thank you all for your support. x
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Since the start of this blog, I have had a bunch of new followers, so I thought I should repost my pinned post as a refresher and gentle reminder (I have also made some new updates to this). :)
Thank you all who have supported and tuned into my work. I truly appreciate it. More to come. x
───୨ৎ─── WELCOME ───୨ৎ───
Thank you for dropping by. You can call me Sae - internet lurker and always in my own head. I post and upload at my own pace, so I don't have a set schedule.
Currently obsessing over: Jujutsu Kaisen, Love and Deepspace, and Honkai Star Rail.
꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦ RULES ꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦
This is an 18+ blog, minors do not interact (mdni). Should you interact with this blog, you are declaring yourself to be 18+, and have read and understood the rules of this blog. I will not police your blog.
Take what resonates, and leave what doesn't. Aka. If you don't like/disagree on something I've written, you are absolutely entitled to those opinions, but respectfully, I don't need to know.
Any bot-like activities will be blocked without warning. This includes: spam liking, sending inappropriate links, porn/bot accounts.
This blog is not spoiler-free. Although I usually like to write my fics taking place in a different AU, I will never guarantee that it's spoiler-free. Some of my reblog contents may also have spoilers in them.
Please do not repost my writing. My only platform is here on tumblr and this is my sole posting account. I don't have ao3, wattpad, and etc. My main account is @sochu - which has virtually nothing on it (I didn't realize I couldn't switch my primary account after this blog was created, so if you see any interactions from that account - that's me!)
I will respect your boundaries, so please respect mine.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ARCHIVE ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
🔞 = nsfw | ✨ = sfw | ☁️ = fluff | 💕= smut | 💔 = angst | ✅ = completed | ➡️ = ongoing
✦•┈๑⋅⋯ Series ⋯⋅๑┈•✦
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ Devour - heian era!sukuna x fem!reader 🔞💔💕➡️ Newly released! Chapter 3: Consume
✦•┈๑⋅⋯ Oneshots ⋯⋅๑┈•✦
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ Lacestacy - boyfriend!satoru gojo x fem!reader 🔞💕☁️
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ Silent Night - boyfriend!satoru gojo x fem!reader 🔞💕☁️
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ Warm on a Cold Night - exboyfriend!ryomen sukuna x fem!reader 🔞💕
✦•┈๑⋅⋯ Headcanons ⋯⋅๑┈•✦
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ boyfriend!satoru gojo ✨
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ex/boyfriend!sukuna - pt. 1 ✨ / pt. 2 ✨
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ABOUT ME ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Current games: Honkai Star Rail, Love and Deepspace, Baldur's Gate 3, Devil May Cry
Current read: Pretty Girls - Karin Slaughter
My music rotation: Deftones, ThxSoMch, Sleep Token, Arctic Monkeys, The 1975, d4vd
Favorite JJK character: Gojo and Sukuna. I can't choose.
Favorite LADS character: I'm a Sylus girlie through and through.
Favorite HSR character: BOOTHILL. YEEHAW
Other hobbies: b&w photography, coffee, tattoos, vinyl record and cd collecting, watching netflix with my dog
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ TAGS ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Here are some personal tags that I use for my posts, you can choose to filter out these tags on your settings if you wish to avoid any of these topics:
#xechu reblog - reblogging my own content
#xechu updates - updates pertaining to my blog, current and future projects, WIPs
#xechu ramble - in the rare event I decide to yap, but I generally don't prefer to get too personal on the internet
Writing © xechu - please do not redistribute, translate, or repost any of my works.
Support & MDNI banner © @cafekitsune
Banner photo © xechu
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I love this series soo much ✨✨
what you know - ch9: (ex) friends || r. sukuna
❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety (attacks). tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 12.2k.
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon
With a soft click, the Career Services Office door shuts behind you. Dropping your bag on the bench just outside the door, you pull Shoko’s attention from her phone.
“So? How did it go?”
Slipping paperwork carefully into your bag, you nod. “Good! I only need to make a couple of changes to my resume and cover letter and they gave me some good suggestions for options,” you explain.
As a part of your final couple of semesters in your final year, your Copy Editing and Proofreading class has an internship requirement. On one hand it’s stressful, especially given that you’ll need to adjust your life to the schedule of having an internship on Tuesdays and Thursdays on top of classes throughout the week, but you’re also excited.
And then there’s the case of Sukuna.
Although you wouldn’t exactly call the last time you saw him a pleasant encounter given Sukuna had broken down, not to mention his abrupt departure, his emails had been a bit more reassuring.
[email protected] - Friday, 6:02 PM home?
[email protected] - Friday, 6:24 PM Home! Thanks for checking in, Kuna :)
[email protected] - Friday, 6:29 PM yeah. thanks for earlier. makes it easier to be around the kids
You had smiled to yourself as it seemed he was finally admitting to the fact that maybe help wasn’t so bad. Maybe he didn’t have to handle everything alone.
More encouraging still, was his follow up email.
[email protected] - Friday, 6:32 PM can you watch them more? i’ll find a way to pay you back after the trial
You hadn’t exactly considered the repercussions that looking after Sukuna’s little brothers would have on your schedule on top of the fact that you’re required to get an internship to graduate.
But if Sukuna can handle it, then you’re more than willing to bear some of his burden if it means he’ll accept your help. Maybe you can lessen the dark circles that seem burnt into his skin like a brand, even if it means you take on a burden of your own.
It’s worth it. He’s worth it.
Shoko groans, pulling your thoughts back to the present. “God, I hope my resume only needs a couple of tweaks. I don’t think it’s very good,” she mutters, pulling it out of her bag.
Peeking over the top of the paper, you shrug. “If it’s any consolation, it’s pretty.”
“Did you just call my resume dumb but pretty? I feel like you did,” she chides.
You laugh in unison with her, shaking your head. “I haven’t even read it! It’s probably more impressive than mine is.”
As her laughter dies down, Shoko rolls her resume up in her hand, batting your shoulder with the paper. “Nice save,” she snorts. Giggling, you step aside as she stands up to head into the Career Services Office next. “I’ll catch you later,” she waves as she steps inside.
Slinging your backpack over your shoulder, you make your way to the car and return home. As if projects and studying weren't enough, to think that you now also need to apply to publishing houses while competing with every other student in your program is… a lot.
With a sigh, you stretch your arms over your head as you take a seat at your desk and begin the long application process of applying to nearly every publishing house in town.
–
Rocking back and forth on the ball of your heels, adorned in cute knee-high boots that match your beige knit sweater, you await one of the three brothers at the door. Over the past couple of weeks, your tattooed counterpart has slowly allowed you to help him.
And thank god for that.
After the intensely emotional moment you’d shared with him outside his apartment after meeting with Hiromi, Choso and Sukuna’s behaviour had grown increasingly worrying. Yuji’s boisterous personality remained somewhat dulled with an underlying sadness, but every so often he would relax under your care and his giggles would light up the apartment.
Choso was a different story. You wondered often if he had heard the discussions between the four adults chatting about legal papers. His already extremely reserved personality had faded into a monotonous and ghostly presence of what was once a very bright and lively child. If ever someone had seemed to be running on auto-pilot, this was it.
Your concern had only grown when you’d stood beside Sukuna just outside of your Literature History class as he received a phone call from Choso’s teacher, concerned for his mental health and well-being.
How Sukuna is meant to explain his child brother refusing to speak not only to classmates, but even his teacher, neither of you truly knew. The pride Sukuna carries on his back that strains and weighs down his already heavy shoulders prevented him from telling the truth. He’s not the picturesque guardian that the school expects him to be at the end of the day, but to admit that he’s about to fight to keep his brothers in his custody feels like defeat to a man like Sukuna.
The battle hasn’t even begun and he’s already losing.
Sukuna remained nestled carefully within your heart, lighting a fire deep within that urged you to help him fight. Like a firefly, it seemed to buzz within, guiding you towards the man you’d come to know as surprisingly warm and thoughtful, in spite of his rougher edges.
Yet it seemed that man was buried under so many layers of stress that you hadn’t caught wind of that warmth in weeks. Sukuna had become somewhat of a shell of his former self too, more on edge and growing wearier by the day. You may see him every couple of days as you look after his brothers or he manages to make it to class or lunch, but between his quick departure and the bone-tired state he returns in after his shift, you don’t get many opportunities to speak.
The only positive you can find across the whole situation is that he’s accepting your help. He’s trying with what meager energy he can find.
In the midst of your troubles with the three brothers, your schedule had briefly become a scattered mess as well. Between running to interviews, classes in which Sukuna struggled to arrive in a timely manner, and looking after the boys, you had been spread thin as well.
At least your schedule would become more predictable, beginning today.
The door creaks open just far enough for Choso to peek up at you. His eyes are devoid of anything beyond recognition as he steps back to let you in. It tugs at your heartstrings to see him so withdrawn.
“Hey sweetie,” you greet him softly, gently ruffling his dark hair. He blinks as his hair, which has grown quite long now, falls into his face, obscuring his vision, though he doesn’t otherwise react.
With two months until the court date, you pray he comes out of his shell again. Two months of reserved silence doesn’t bode well for his mental health, especially when you’re certain Sukuna will win the case regardless.
Sure, his odds aren’t amazing, but those kids love him and in spite of the fatigue that plagues his mind and body, you catch glimpses of the fire lit within to win the court case.
“Where are your brothers?” You query with a small tilt of your head.
Choso’s gaze drifts to the hall where the bedrooms are. You shoot him a tight-lipped smile, sighing as you reach the hall. The bathroom door is shut, the sounds of running water penetrating the barrier. Brushing past the room, you poke your head into the open door to Yuji’s room. The most lively of the bunch, his feet are kicking as he sits at his desk, crayons scrawling across paper.
Stepping inside, you greet him with a smile.
His response isn’t as enthusiastic as you hoped, but he still calls your name out as his eyes brighten at the sight of you.
“Hey, sweetheart,” you ruffle his hair as you step up behind him to peer at his coloring page. To your surprise, it isn’t the Avengers book that he’s been coloring over the course of the past few weeks (Spider-Man is his favorite), but a page with a familiar blue hedgehog on it. You blink once as you recognize the pose, it looks like it’s straight from the cover of the GameCube game you’d left here a while ago. More notably, you notice that the lineart doesn’t gleam in the same way the printed pages usually do under the lamplight.
It’s drawn in marker.
Faint traces of erased lines remain at the edge of Sonic’s eyes (are they eyes? Is it one eye? How does that work?) and now that you’re standing over the desk more, you can see the faint outline of another character at his side. Shadow.
You smile to yourself, somewhat bittersweet, at the sweet sight of Yuji leaving the sketch blank and staying in the lines to the best of his ability. He likely hopes that at some point he’ll be able to complete his joint artistic effort with his brother.
The sound of a door opening grabs your attention and you excitedly make your way over to Sukuna, who’s clad in a blue polo and khakis. Clearly he’d be stocking shelves for the evening. Running a hand through long salmon locks, his eyes slide over to you as you appear from the doorway of his brothers’ room.
The dark circles under his eyes don’t look so bad today, though his expression remains stoic. There’s no cracks to his practiced facade of control, his crimson eyes set on your face as he examines the way you actually bound towards him, clearly excited. He raises an eyebrow as he casts his gaze down to your hands, fidgeting with the hem of your sweatshirt.
“Something happen?” He brings a hand up to casually scratch beneath the collar of his shirt, the polo material irritating against his skin.
“You remember how I needed to get an internship this semester?”
“Mhm.”
“Aaaaand you remember how I was really hoping to get a position in that printing house on the main bus route to save some money on gas?”
His lip quirks upwards at the corner as he takes a step towards you. One strong arm wraps around you in something between a headlock and a hug, causing you to giggle. “‘Course you got it. Atta girl,” though his tone lacks the usual timbre he reserves for you and his brothers, you can see the way something within him shifts, something akin to pride resonating through him.
With your face practically shoved into Sukuna’s way too bulky chest, your cheeks quickly warm. You’re more than positive that he can feel it when you stumble back as he releases you after a moment, a glimmer of mischief buried deep beneath the haze of exhaustion.
“Thanks Kuna,” you can’t help the way your eyes crinkle at the corners as your heart pounds in your chest.
Loving him from afar isn’t easy, but it’s better than not loving him at all.
Sukuna makes a motion that he’s headed for the kitchen. You trail after him, watching as he reaches into the fridge for leftovers and a water bottle.
Choso sits silently at the table towards the back of the apartment, leaning on his palm as he stares outside. With tupperware in one hand and a large metal bottle in the other, Sukuna pauses to stare at him. Something akin to guilt flashes through his eyes, but he quickly steels himself.
You briefly wonder if he believes he can win, something you’ve been doing your best to reassure all three brothers of. Something you genuinely believe.
“When do you start?” Sukuna gruffs, turning his attention back to you.
“Tuesday next week.”
“Excited?”
“I’m a bit nervous, but�� yeah,” you smile, grateful he’s entertaining the conversation given how clipped chats with him have been over the last couple of weeks. During lunch or classes on campus, you can usually goad him into a conversation about your professor’s strange obsession with conspiracies (which turned out to be true, much to your dismay), but that’s the extent of his chatty mood usually. You don’t blame him, though. You know he’s worn thin.
The only sign that the Sukuna you know is still there are the minute breaks, the moments where he silently seeks your company, falling into step with you and letting his arm brush against yours. The days when he spreads his legs while he sits at the lunch table and you would give him a hard time for manspreading when his thigh leans against yours, but he only does it to you, so you second-guess teasing him.
“You’ll be fine,” he assures, taking a seat on the couch as he stuffs his dinner into his backpack. “You’re a hard worker.” He smirks, though it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Compared to you, I seem like I sleep on the job.”
Your smile falters as Sukuna forces a laugh. “Hmph. Maybe.”
Sukuna’s capacity for conversation has grown infinitely thinner as the days pass and his sleep lessens. Where that leaves his anger and frustration simmering beneath the surface, he does what he can to keep it at bay, especially when it comes to you and his brothers. Unfortunately, it comes at the cost of his conversational skills.
The air grows quiet, interrupted only by the gentle creak of the chair that Choso shuffles quietly on and distant cars in the January cold.
“I can’t believe this is our last year,” you comment mostly for the sake of creating conversation. You know Sukuna doesn’t have much gas in the tank for it, but you find yourself wondering if talking at him helps ease his worries and distract him from the thoughts that plague his restless mind.
“Mm. You lookin’ forward to working?”
“I think so! What about you?
His gaze flashes towards you, narrowing slightly as he straightens, pulling a pair of keys from the bottom of his bag. “No.”
Heat creeps up the back of your neck. “You have time! Especially if you decide to change your major-”
“Why would I do that?” He snaps, lip curling into a snarl. Crimson irises flit between your wide eyes, your brow knit together by a crease.
Shit.
That carefully composed facade Sukuna’s been sporting the last week cracks, his simmering frustration crashing through the walls he’s erected to protect those around him from his own gripes.
Biting your lip in uncertainty, you stammer as you attempt to backtrack under his harsh stare. “I- I just thought-”
“Thought what? Thought I’d be better off doing something more useful? Something that makes more money?”
“What?” You blink as you process his cold tone. “No, I-” your words die in your throat as you examine his set jaw and the way he’s gripping his backpack with white knuckles. What really strikes you is the way something akin to offense gleams in his eyes. You’re accustomed to accidentally prodding where he doesn’t want you, but his edge isn’t usually so cold when you dig a little too deep into his psyche. “It just seemed like you were considering something else.” You want to tack on a mention of an art degree, but Sukuna scoffs before you can continue.
“Is history not good enough now, princess?”
You visibly recoil at the cold way his nickname for you slips off his tongue like venom. What nerve had you struck? “No, what-? No. I’m sorry, Sukuna. I just got the wrong idea, I guess.”
Maybe you shouldn’t have prodded into something that can be a touchy subject for him, but you thought you’d moved past this, and he asked first. Then again, this isn’t the Sukuna you’ve come to know after all these months. The man staring back at you is a product of a world that’s tearing him apart, his emotions awry.
But it still hurts when he takes it out on you.
With a sigh, he checks his watch. “I gotta fucking go,” he mutters, zipping up his bag and grabbing his coat from the rack near the door. Tossing them both on, he slips his hand into his pocket, surely shuffling through it in search of a cigarette, before the door shuts behind him with a slam.
You can only watch in confusion and dispiritedness as the lock flicks shut and the sounds of his footsteps fade outside.
One step forward… two steps back.
You sigh, shutting your eyes for a moment as you stare where he last was. Dragging your hands over your face, you push to your feet, deciding for once to forgo studying in favor of finding something to do with the kids. Maybe it’s time you litter the apartment in bead frogs to go with all the lizards that are still haphazardly strewn everywhere.
To your dismay as you turn towards the hall, you find Choso staring at you from the table. Fuck. You’d forgotten he was there. His expression is unreadable and your chest tightens.
With the most convincing smile you can muster, you usher him from his chair and lead him towards Yuji. “Did you two ever figure out how to make bead frogs?”
Choso’s deep brown eyes examine you as he stares straight up at you. “Are you okay?”
It chokes you up to hear the little boy worry about you. You don’t dare look at him, lest he see the way your eyes burn with salty warmth. So you just smile, nodding. “Of course! Let’s go find your brother.”
Hopefully your tone was more convincing than your expression.
–
The door opens thirty minutes later than usual. Both boys are already asleep (you hope), and have been for a while now, which is unusual for Sukuna’s evening shifts.
He pauses at the door with his keys, a habit you’ve noticed he picked up since the day he found Choso asleep on your lap and had nearly awoken him with the clattering of his keys on the table. When his eyes meet yours, he drops the keys onto the table and locks the door behind him without a word.
His backpack slides from his shoulder with a thud and a muffled clattering of utensils. “You can go.”
You purse your lips at his blatant dismissal of whatever the hell happened earlier. Had you really upset him that much?
“Sukuna, can’t we talk about-?”
He firmly says your name, his eyes steely as you stand and take a step towards him in an effort to reach out. “Not right now.”
Your heart drops into the pit of your stomach. It’s almost embarrassing; to stand there and so blatantly have him deny your request to talk things through after you’ve looked after his brothers for over nine hours. After he’s finally accepting your help and allowing himself to be vulnerable in your presence. “Please, Sukuna-”
Your name rolls off his tongue again, unyielding. “Go home.”
It’s always like this with him. Where that hole in your heart that Sukuna’s nestled so comfortably within eats away at its own chasm. It punctures you, twisting along with the way you still feel for him, knowing that his cold demeanor is the product of a world that threatens to crush him.
But the rational part of you is reminded of Kento and Shoko pulling you aside to warn you not to let him step on you.
Picking up your jacket and bag, you pull your boots on without shooting him another glance. “Asshole.” It slips past your lips before you can really think twice about it, but you’re too caught up in your emotions to care.
You’re gone before Sukuna’s frustration can flare and he’s standing alone in his apartment. The air is still, sound for the heavy air that suffocates him. The TV is still on, you were quietly watching Holes. He supposes there aren’t many non-horror options that you likely haven’t seen with the kids at this point given that he doesn’t have cable or any subscriptions of any kind.
His hair is sticking to his forehead, his skin sweat-slicked between his shoulder blades as he sits down on the couch, dragging his hands roughly over his face. The kids don’t usually pick this movie. He doesn’t remember it.
“You’re mean.”
Carefully guarded, Sukuna raises a brow. “Why’re you awake, brat? You got school tomorrow.” Choso doesn’t reply. With a sigh, the oldest brother scratches the back of his head. “She’ll come around, Choso. Go to bed.”
Choso stands his ground, not moving.
God, the first words he hears from his brother in days and it’s that he’s mean?
Is he really?
He examines Choso’s face, his eyes trailing up to the two bundles of his long hair gathered at the back of his head. Had you put his hair up? Surely the kid hadn’t done it himself. It suits him, and frankly Sukuna’s just glad his hair is out of his face.
He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue as he has a stare-off with his little brother.
This isn’t that big of a deal. He just didn’t want to hear you point out his inadequacies. He knows his major is useless. He knows he shouldn’t smoke. He doesn’t want to hear it. Surely he hadn’t been enough of a dick that he was wasting what had been laid out clearly as his last chance with you. Right?
You don’t curse often, but even you had called him an asshole.
“Fucking hell,” he mutters, pushing up from the couch and pulling on his shoes without a second thought. He’s down in the parking lot as fast as his legs can carry him, searching for your car. To his relief, you’re waiting for the engine to warm up in a guest parking spot.
He jogs over, knocking on the window. You bristle, practically jumping out of your skin at the sight of the burly man at your side.
“Sukuna, you scared me,” you gasp.
“Sorry.”
You frown, avoiding his gaze as you set your phone down. “It’s fine,” you mumble quietly. “What do you want?”
“To talk. About how I was an asshole.”
You stare blankly at him, quietly examining his face. “I told you that you had one chance-”
“Then don’t let it get that far. I’m not wastin’ my chance, I’m fixing things before it gets to that point.”
“It’s not fair that you get to decide when we do or don’t talk about things.”
Sukuna leans his forearms in your car, sighing as he hangs his head within the heat. Your car dips somewhat under his weight. “I know, princess.” He lifts his head, his crimson eyes gleaming in the glow of your dash lights.
You figured he would keep talking but when he just stares blankly at you, you find yourself sighing. “I thought you were letting me in. Letting me help.”
“You are helping me,” he points out.
“I’m helping the kids.”
“That helps me.”
Groaning, you frustratedly run a hand through your hair. “That’s not what I mean,” you grumble, shooting him a glare. “You keep pushing me away.” His fingers flex into fists as he leans into the warmth of your car further.
“It’s better this way.”
“You’re so frustrating,” you groan, slumping back into your seat. “It’s not better! I’m trying to be your friend, I’m trying to be here for you, but I can’t if you won’t let me in.”
Sukuna’s jaw clenches as he merely listens.
“Honestly, tell me what you would have done if I’d left like you asked me to when you had a panic attack.” You look at him expectantly, watching the way that the lights on your dash suddenly seem very interesting to him. He swallows hard, crossing his arms as he continues to lean into the car, perched on his elbows.
Your heat is working overtime to keep you warm as the air that slips past Sukuna clings to your skin, raising it in its wake. Sukuna seems unaffected by the cold, focused anywhere but you. His mind is racing, searching for an answer in the white noise of the car, as though the check engine light will provide the answers he’s searching for.
“You should check your engine.”
You want to groan, roll your eyes, and scream in frustration all at once, yet all you can manage is to stare, stunned to your core that those are the words he chose. Your hand finds the gear shift to put the car in reverse and finally he gives in.
“Fuck, wait.” He huffs, reaching way too close across your body with his long arm to stop your hand from moving the gear shift. His fingers are chilly as he pulls your hand back, proceeding with the familiar act of fiddling with your fingers.
Sensing that this won’t be a short conversation, you flick the key in the ignition once, shutting off the engine, but keeping the heat on. As the engine rumbles to a halt, the distant sounds of cars down the road and faint chatter fill the air. The bulb that illuminates the entry of Sukuna’s apartment continues to flicker, the occasional darkness casting a serious air over his sharp features.
“The first time I ever had one was the day after my dad died,” Sukuna admits with a strained voice. His thumb slides along your knuckles. “It didn’t matter how sick he was. He never wanted me to have to take care of my brothers more than for a few hours.” His face contorts into something between sadness and anger. “I didn’t know how to change a diaper. Didn’t know what Yuji liked eatin’ ‘sides chicken fingers and shit. I think he really believed she’d come back n’ take care of us, or at least them.”
Your lips part as you sympathetically squeeze his fingers, but you don’t dare interrupt.
“Had to look it up on YouTube. How to change a diaper, I mean.” He scoffs, bitter resentment painted across sunken eyes. “Yuji wouldn’t stop cryin’. It was all fuckin’ day, all the time. Must’ve been five in the morning when I finally got both kids asleep at the same time.” His tongue runs along the seam of his lips. “Dunno if you’ve had one before,” he casts a glance at you as he references a panic attack, as though he’s unwilling to admit what it is. You nod. “But I just remember layin’ on the floor of the washroom, staring at the ceiling. Couldn’t tell ya how long I laid there.”
It never seems to matter how upset you are with Sukuna, his situation always manages to twist your heartstrings. He can play you like a violin and he doesn’t even seem to have any clue of the kind of influence he has over you.
“So, if you wanna know what I woulda done,” he shrugs half-heartedly. “That, probably.”
Undoubtedly, this is his best effort of letting you in. Showing you he’s listening. Fixing things before they’re blown out of proportion because he got short with you.
You offer him a sad smile. “I’m glad it didn’t come to that.”
He doesn’t hesitate. “Me too.”
“Next time, can we just talk before things get this far, Kuna?”
He lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding as the familiar nickname slips so easily off your tongue. “There won’t be a next time.”
Your lips quirk upwards, brow raising as you challenge his statement. “With you? There will be. Next time though, just start by telling me you aren’t in the mood to talk about something, okay?”
His lips press into a thin line at your lack of faith in him. He knows it’s founded, but it hurts regardless. Still, you somehow seem to find the space in your heart to be patient with him when he needs it most and for that he’s grateful.
“You got it, princess.” He pauses, tapping the side of the car as he drops your fingers into your lap. “Listen, I think I gotta start taking more shifts.”
“More?”
The concern etched into your brow is cute. “Yeah. I need to almost double how much I usually make. So, double the shifts.”
“You already missed class yesterday,” you point out.
He shrugs. “Wouldn’t be the first time. I get by.”
“You’re lucky you’re the type of guy who barely needs to study to pass,” you grumble with narrowed eyes.
He snorts, amused. “Yeah, maybe.” He sighs. “I know you got your internship startin’ up next week, but…” he trails off, as if he’s debating whether he should even ask you.
“You need help?”
He sighs. “I gotta take some night shifts.”
Dread churns in your stomach. “You’re never gonna get any sleep.”
“I’ll find time.”
“Where? Your schedule is full.”
“What other option do I have?” He grunts, exasperated. “An extra months’ rent ain’t gonna appear outta thin air.”
“You could always ask Toj-”
“No.”
You should have expected that. Red irises stare you down firmly, pupils mere pinpricks.
“You can take my bed if you stay,” he doubles down, scratching his chin.
Heat travels up your neck, finding a place on your cheeks and the tips of your ears. Something about staying in his room, in his bed, makes your heart take off. Yet he can mention it so casually, like it’s not a big deal.
“Um- right. Sure,” your words come out more mousey than intended, and you can only pray that the dim light that barely illuminates you is hiding the nerves that would otherwise show in the way you avert your gaze and chew on your lip.
To your dismay, that doesn’t seem to be the case.
Sukuna blows air out through his nose in a faint laugh as he slides a bit closer to you. The heat of his breath is warm, hotter than anything the car can manage as it tickles your neck. “Cat got your tongue?”
The battle between warm and cold air suddenly seems suffocating. The distant chatter seems to scream, and the motors of passing cars feel as though they could shake the ground you walk on.
“No!” You exclaim, a little bit too quickly as you find yourself wincing. “I’m fine. Just cold,” you lie, shrinking as you hug yourself.
His chest rumbles in laughter as he stands, slapping a hand down on the roof of your car. “I’ll email you my shifts. Go home.” This time when he says it, his tone is mild. “Didn’t waste my last chance?” He asks, turning his attention back to you with a conviction in his eyes that has you smiling sympathetically.
“Not yet.”
“Good. Let me know when you’re home.” With that, he turns on his heel and heads back into the warmth of his apartment building.
Your eyes trail after him as he pushes through both sets of doors, leaving you alone in the quiet of the night. Shutting the window, heat wraps around you, enveloping you once again within its embrace. Yet for some reason as you stare at the spot where you last saw the tattooed man, a shiver wracks your body.
–
Smoothing your pencil skirt, you push through the doors of a warmly-lit restaurant. The little local spot has an air of familiarity to it, decorated mostly with photos of dishes served nightly and the occasional photo of the owner’s family. Tucked away in the corner is a table with a spare seat reserved for you.
With a sigh of relief, you take a seat beside Suguru, your eyes trailing the length of the table to see who was able to make it. You notice two things at a glance. One, you’re severely overdressed, though you knew that would be the case after coming from your internship. Two… Why is Toji sitting across from you? No, the real question is how are Toji and Satoru sitting beside one another?
The question must be written across your face in bold lettering, because Toji nudges Satoru with a chuckle as everyone greets you happily. Satoru’s mischievous grin matches Toji’s smirk as he spots your confusion.
“They have more in common than I think anyone expected,” Suguru comments with an amused smile.
“Aw, that’s sweet,” you grin, taking a moment to attempt to rub the tiredness from your sunken eyes without smudging your makeup. “I’m glad everyone’s getting along.”
Suguru leans forward to get a better look at you, eyes narrowed as he examines your expression. “Can you look at me for a moment?”
Confused, you tilt your head as you turn to face the raven-haired man. Leaning back in his chair, you watch his expression subtly downturn.
“Have you been sleeping?”
“Of course!” You jump to your own defense quickly, straightening in your seat as you brush imaginary crumbs from your lap. “I’m fine, Suguru. I just had early class today, then my internship, and now dinner.”
“I see,” he hums, moving on. “How’s the internship?”
“Ooh, I wanna know too!” Shoko leans forward over the table to better see you. You can practically envision her kicking her feet under the table in search of details (and gossip).
At this point, even Kento’s attention is now drawn to you from the end of the table and you feel yourself shrink as the table begins to turn their collective attention to you. Everyone here may be your friends, but it’s still a lot of pairs of eyes.
“Um-” You chuckle, running a hand through your hair. “It’s going well! Everyone’s been really nice. Well, mostly everyone- but they have me doing coffee runs and shadowing the other editors right now,” you explain.
“Sounds like you’re well on your way to your career,” Suguru smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Suguru, you gotta ask the hard-hitting questions,” Shoko scolds playfully with a light smack to his bicep. His brow raises as she practically tries to lean over him to get to you. “What do you mean ‘almost everyone’?” She asks, her interest piqued.
Chuckling, you shake your head. “It’s really not that exciting,” you insist. “There’s this one Literary Agent, I think he’s the boss’ nephew or something, that’s just a bit much. I can’t really tell if he’s hitting on me or insulting me half of the time.”
Shoko’s nose wrinkles in disgust as Nanami recoils with a roll of his shoulders.
“And our graphic designer is just weird. She cooks bacon in the breakroom on one of those plug-in hot plates.”
“That is odd,” Suguru agrees.
“I think I get six coffees per day for her alone. Oh- and the other day I spent my whole break listening to her talk about this book she read over the weekend. I swear I could tell you the whole plot.”
“Sounds riveting,” Suguru chuckles, a glimmer of light passing through his gaze. “I’m sure the rest of your colleagues are fans as well.”
“Our publicist was telling me they have a drinking game during Christmas parties where they send the graphic designer to talk to the boss and every time he yawns or checks his watch, they drink.”
“Sounds like my kinda people,” Shoko snorts, grinning at you as the table returns to individual conversations.
Throughout the dinner, you’re quick to notice the way Toji seems to meld to the group seamlessly, offering snide remarks that have you wondering at times if you have a second, more gruff Satoru. It’s almost like he’s a strange blend between Satoru and Sukuna in a sense, and you can definitely see how Toji and Sukuna would be friends.
It’s heartwarming to see him blend in so seamlessly, because if Satoru can get along with Toji, he can get along with Sukuna as well, if they can both quit being haters for ten seconds.
Despite how worn out you are from the long day, the dinner with friends was much needed (even at the cost of two drinks for Satoru and one for Suguru), given that you’ve had to skip out on lunches with them every Tuesday and Thursday and even the occasional other weekdays as well in favor of your harsh schedule. Once you’ve paid, you get to your feet and pull your coat over your shoulders, brushing yourself off and grabbing your keys when you’re tugged aside harshly.
Yelping, you blink as you’re standing in front of Kento and Shoko.
“C’mon, we’re going for dessert,” Shoko insisted, tugging you along.
“What? I’m not hungry.”
“Doesn’t matter, dessert goes in your second stomach,” Shoko dismisses you.
“My second what?”
Before you know it, you’re whisked away to a small bakery down the street that you’re beyond certain is Kento’s choice. As much as he gives Satoru a hard time for sweets, the man has a fairly big sweet tooth himself- as long as the sweets include pastries. A good strawberry mille-feuille would have the man starry-eyed with his wallet on the counter.
Shoko, on the other hand, opts for a single macaron, which you second. Who can say no to a macaron shaped as a little kitty after all?
Holding the treat delicately in your hands as you smile at the sweet orange decorated kitty, you cross your legs and take a look around the bakery. Loaves of bread likely line the walls during the day, the displays usually vibrant with the reds and blues of fresh fruit pies. It’s fairly barren now, but the smell of bread and warmth of the oven still carries with it a sense of peace that puts you at ease.
“This is nice,” you comment, taking a bite of the macaron.
Kento nods. “It’s been a while since it’s been just the three of us.”
With a scoff, Shoko points her brown macaron straight at you, a bite taken out of it. “Yeah and whose fault would that be?”
Pouting, you nibble at the shell of your dessert. “There’s just been a lot going on,” you insist, leaning back in your chair. “Sukuna’s been-” you pause, lifting your head at the realization that Shoko doesn’t know about the lawsuit. Your eyes trail to Kento, whose gaze flashes with understanding.
“Sukuna’s been what?” Shoko pushes. “I swear I’ll shove his balls so far up his-”
“WOAH, woah! Okay Shoko,” your eyes widen and you find yourself nearly dropping your treat at the mere mention of whatever the hell she was gonna say. “As i was saying,” you flash her a glance, willing away the heat creeping up the back of your neck. “He’s been taking more shifts than usual, so I’ve just been balancing that with the internship and classes.”
“And sleep, and studying, and projects,” Kento points out, crossing his arms as he finishes his blueberry mochi cake. “When was the last time you read a book, or watched a movie?”
Hesitating, you find your gaze drifting to the wall. “... I watched Ice Age.”
“No, you watched Yuji watch Ice Age,” Shoko accuses, a brow raised. Finishing her macaron, she dusts her hands off on her pants and sighs. “Listen, we know you like him a lot and it’s great that you’re helping him- and thank god Kento knows so I can talk to him-”
“You’re such a gossip,” you mutter under your breath.
She just shoots you a sweet smile, continuing. “But seriously, you need to put yourself first. I’m glad he’s treating you better-” she pauses, staring expectantly at you.
Your gaze flickers between your two friends. “He’s treating me fine, stop worrying.”
“Great. The point is, he needs to go easy on you. I know he’s got a lot of shit going on, but so do you.” Shoko taps her fingers on the table, leaving the ball in your court.
“Sho, I swear I can handle it,” you roll your eyes, “but if it’s too much, I’ll talk to him. Promise.”
“Pinky swear, girl. You’re way too sweet to that man and I know you’d put him before yourself.”
Wrapping your pinky around hers, you roll your eyes, though you’re unable to help your smile.
“You owe me a girls’ night for bailing the other day by the way.”
“I’m sorry, Sho,” you pout.
“I’ll get over it. Ken here got to be my girls’ night buddy. I couldn’t convince him to get a color but he did get his nails done.” Shoko pulls his hand out from where it was crossed over his chest. You can faintly make out the gleam of clear polish on his nicely manicured nails.
“I have no need for colored nails,” he neutrally declares, shooting Shoko a mildly distasteful look as she holds his hand out to you.
Leaning back, you squint at him. “I think blue’s your color.”
Kento frowns. “Did you mishear me or are you choosing to ignore me?”
Shoko hums. “No, I see it. Like a darker blue.”
“Girls. Please,” he sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose at your antics.
“Don’t act like you’re above this, Kento. I bet you still have a bottle of black nail polish back home somewhere,” you tease.
“That was a long time ago-”
Shoko leans in, resting her cheek against her fist. “Oh yeah, you had an emo phase, didn’t you?”
Laughing as Kento blushes profusely, rose dusting his cheeks, you lean back in your seat, relaxing in the warmth of your friends’ care. Your bed may be calling you, but Kento had a point when he asked when the last time you’d read a book or watched a movie was. But it wasn’t a book or movie that you were really missing, it was a girls’ night (featuring Kento).
You stay at the cafe much longer than intended, finding yourself curled up in thick blankets well into the night, but with a content smile on your face.
–
After the fourth day that you don’t see Sukuna at lunch, Uraume had approached you to bring him some worksheets, not to mention he has a paper due literally tomorrow that he doesn’t know about and you won’t see him until the weekend.
His schedule had been rough on you, but it had been downright cruel to him.
When he did manage to make it to a lunch or class, he would pass out within seconds, softly snoring on whatever surface he found himself on. It seemed he had to be physically moving in order to stay awake, otherwise he was dragged into the clutches of the sandman with no fight left to give.
The worst sign of his fading will was when you had gotten a call from Choso and Yuji’s school that Sukuna hadn’t arrived to pick them up. There was a surprising amount to unpack with that call between the fact that Sukuna had missed their pickup time and the fact that you had now been marked down as their emergency contact.
The latter… That was something you would unpack later.
As for the former, when you arrived at his apartment with both boys and rang the buzzer not once, not twice, but thrice, he was little more than a zombie, barely managing to stay on his feet. You swear you saw his drowsiness pop like a bubble over his head at the sight of you with his brothers, downright shocked.
Swears had poured from his mouth like floodgates had opened and all you could do was watch as he dragged his hands over his face in frustration, thanking you before shutting the door, claiming he would be getting some real sleep, lest this happen again.
Making your way up to his door now, you hope the man who greets you has a little more life in him than that day, but it’s not usually a good sign when you haven’t seen him for a bit.
Squinting as you approach the buzzer, you raise your brow at none other than Toji Zenin, sliding his finger along the metal box hanging on the wall in search of the number to dial for Sukuna. Stopping beside him, you stick your finger out to point at the number, which happens to be unmarked.
Toji flips to face you, face relaxing from his squint.
“Fancy findin’ you here,” he grins, the scar at the corner of his lips stretching.
“Hey, Toji!” You greet, returning his smile. The sight of another of Sukuna’s friends at his door is relieving given just how drawn thin he’s been lately. “Visiting Sukuna?”
“Mhm. Got somethin’ for him.” He wiggles a small box in his hand as he dials up to Sukuna’s apartment. “Fuckin’ asshole didn’t even tell me he moved, had to steal his address from Uraume,” he grumbles, more to himself than you.
You blink at him. Huh. Well that’s… Considerably less reassuring than Sukuna reaching out to Toji. Especially if Toji isn’t aware that Sukuna’s dad passed away, he’d have no clue about-
There’s a small click and the sounds of shuffling, before Choso answers with a disheartened “hello?”
“Choso?” Toji’s brow furrows in confusion. “That you, kid?”
“Oh. Uh, yeah. Toji?”
Your brow raises as Choso recognizes Toji’s voice. You’re aware Toji’s known Sukuna for a while, but you honestly weren’t expecting him to know Choso if he didn’t know about Jin’s passing.
“You visitin’ your big bro?” Toji queries.
“... I live here.”
Toji scowls deeply, casting you a confused glance. When you don’t mirror his confusion, he clicks his tongue.
“Hey, Cho! Can you let us in?” You call out, attempting to warm your fingers in your pockets as Toji doesn’t budge.
Shuffling resumes on the other line, followed shortly by the telltale buzz that the door’s unlocked.
“I’m missin’ somethin’ here, ain’t I?” The raven-haired man asks, a gruffness to his tone that’s familiar in the way Sukuna also speaks. They’re so similar in some ways, though Toji is far more outgoing than Sukuna. You suppose it’s probably the fact that he’s the Football team’s resident kicker. Still, they share a resemblance in their attitudes.
With a tight-lipped smile, all you can do is nod in reply.
“Shit,” he mutters, following you into the building as you lead the way up to Sukuna’s apartment.
You knock politely, clutching the folder of papers you have for Sukuna to your chest.
“- and add the potatoes when the water starts boiling. Use your fork to test- what are you doing here?” Sukuna turns his attention to his friends at the door mid-sentence, slipping outside and shutting the door behind him abruptly. You step aside, casting a glance between the two ridiculously tall and muscular men as Sukuna glares at Toji.
Sukuna looks… well, better than you were honestly expecting. He doesn’t look like he’s on the verge of passing out or being sick, a The Misfits black hoodie hanging loosely over his shoulders while a pair of dark gray joggers cling to his hips. His hair isn’t styled, stray strands of pale pink sticking out in different directions while some hang over his forehead.
“Got somethin’ for ya. And since your stubborn ass never shows up to lunch and you won’t answer my damn emails, I know ya need it.” Toji holds a visibly calloused hand out, the unmarked box you’d previously noticed now held expectantly for Sukuna to take.
Sukuna’s sharp glare flickers between Toji and the box. With a huff, he lifts the box from Toji’s hands, opening the tabs and peering inside. An old Samsung with a crack through the side of the screen sits at the bottom of the box. Sukuna’s head whips up to face Toji, his eyes blazing. “I don’t fucking need this.”
“My ass. Your phone’s been broken for months,” Toji scoffs, completely unphased by Sukuna’s irritation. “It’s just my old one anyway, but it’s better than nothin’.
Sukuna straightens and you spot a familiar flicker in those crimson eyes. Offense. “If I needed a fuckin’ phone, I woulda bought one,” he grits, shoving the box against Toji’s chest.
As he straightens, it strikes you just how tall and imposing Sukuna is. You can’t imagine it’s easy to make Toji look small when he’s nothing to scoff at either, but Sukuna manages it without fail.
“Don’t gimme that bullshit. I’m not fuckin’ stupid, Ryo. I know somethin’s up and you need a hand.” Toji rolls his eyes, shockingly relaxed for someone under Sukuna’s fire. You know they’ve been friends for a while, but you can’t say for sure how much time they ever spent together. Yet, Toji stands up to him like he knows nothing will come of his anger, as though it’s a facade.
“I’m managing just fine,” Sukuna hisses.
“Are you?” Toji quips, a brow rising behind the black strands of his bangs. “‘Cause I know Jin wouldn’t dump Choso on your ass outta nowhere, so what the fuck is goin’ on?”
Sukuna’s seething at this point, taking a step towards the football player. That may work on others, but Toji isn’t so easily intimidated.
“That’s none of your fuckin’ business,” Sukuna grits.
“Stop bein’ such a fuckin’ prick!” Toji finally snaps, his free hand flying through the air in exasperation. “You used to be my best friend, asshole! You were my fuckin’ family and you fucked off like it was nothin’!”
Sukuna doesn’t respond, brow furrowed and jaw set. His teeth grind from the pressure of his clenched jaw, sending the tension straight to his head as a headache begins to set in.
Left in silence, Toji continues. “Don’t look at me like that. I tried to get you out to the basketball courts with me, to see a movie, anything’. Somehow, you became more of a colossal asshole than I am,” Toji hisses.
As you realize this isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, your eyes flit to the door, wanting to slip inside and escape the uncomfortable situation you’ve found yourself in the middle of. Unfortunately for you, Sukuna’s blocking the door and you don’t exactly feel like interrupting is the best course of action here, leaving you to simply watch.
You’re accustomed to Sukuna being quiet, he’s never been all that chatty, but during arguments is when he tends to run his mouth. Now, standing in front of Toji, the silence of his simmering anger is off-putting. Toji seems to realize this too, shifting on the balls of his feet.
But words evade Sukuna. His mind races with rage-induced insults, anything to drive Toji away, get the man out of his business.
Yet his tongue is tied because Toji is painfully right.
Toji has always had an attitude that rivaled Sukuna’s and never backs down from a fight. His sharp and witty tongue would tell off Sukuna whenever he needed some perspective and the two were fiercely protective of one another. Toji was like a brother to Sukuna back then.
But he was also an asshole. Still is. He was raised by a family notoriously well-known for being as equally wealthy as they are terrible and Toji had always been on the receiving end of it. He’d grown rebellious and indifferent at a young age and acted out at every turn, eventually settling as he got older into brutish and cocky indifference, though most just branded him as an asshole.
Yet Sukuna made him look like a saint as of late.
“Christ, Ryomen. You really got nothin’ to say ‘bout all of this?” Toji runs a hand through his hair in exasperation, the black strands slipping down over his forehead once more. “Maybe I should just ask your fuckin’ brother, I swear sometimes it’s like Jin didn’t even raise yo-”
Sukuna’s anger flares once more, pulled from his thoughts of the past. “He’s fucking dead, Toji.” Venom drips from Sukuna’s words, silencing not only his friend, but the world around you seems to hold its breath too. Nothing about the tense situation is comfortable but you don’t dare move, biting your lip to keep from making any noise.
Toji blinks once, twice, three times. The words take a moment to process as he stands straight, before his brow furrows deeply. His mouth opens and closes a number of times as he searches for something to say, his spare hand scratching at his chest before hanging there for a moment, clutching at his shirt.
“When?” To your shock, Toji’s eyes are glazed with tears, and all you can do is shuffle from foot to foot, feeling nothing but sympathy for the poor man. From what you know of Jin, he was patient and kind and if Toji was Sukuna’s best friend, you can imagine he likely shared that kindness with Toji.
Sukuna’s expression takes a somber turn, the tension in his jaw dissipating somewhat. “Been a bit over three years.”
Toji blinks, a warm trail running down his cheek which he quickly wipes on his sleeve, burying his unprocessed grief beneath a layer of anger as something occurs to him.
“You didn’t think I’d wanna know?” It’s more of a rhetorical question, they both know the underlying issue of their problems all stem from Sukuna’s stubbornness. “You didn’t think to fuckin’ tell me?” This time, there’s more bite to his words. He may be glossy-eyed with sorrow, but he’s equally pissed now.
“It’s not your fucking business!” Sukuna barks, gripping the door frame with a white knuckled hand as he grits his teeth again. You peer past him at the door, searching for an escape, but Sukuna’s still soundly in your way.
“Like hell! He was more of a father to me than my parents ever were and you know that!” Toji takes a step back, turning to pace in a circle as he drags a hand down his face in disbelief. “Y’r such a fuckin’ prick, Ryomen. You always were, but shit.”
Someone clearing their throat down the hall turns your attention towards them. A kind-looking older woman with gray hair and soft eyes is just barely leaning out her door. “Sukuna, dear. Can I ask you to take this elsewhere?”
Turns out she’s your guardian angel.
To your relief, Sukuna simply points at the elevator, making a point of staring down Toji. The football player sighs deeply, rolling his eyes as he leads the way in silence. Sukuna casts you a glance, which then flickers towards the door in a silent question.
You nod, relieved, and slip into his apartment, finding Choso standing in the kitchen alone staring at the floor. He looks startlingly like a puppy with its tail between its legs.
Of course he would have heard everything.
As the door clicks shut behind you and you shuffle to slip your boots and jacket off, his gaze rises to you. A deep crease knits his brow, his eyes searching yours for something he doesn’t seem to find. Kneeling down, you wrap your arms around him in reassurance.
“Hey, sweetie.” You keep your voice soft and kind as Choso’s arms gingerly wrap around you. “Your apron looks great.”
He doesn’t reply, clinging tightly to you.
“Have you checked the potatoes?” A nod. “Are they ready yet?” A shake of his head. Frowning at his silence, you nod. “Do you wanna sit down?”
Choso nods again, pulling back and plopping down right in the middle of the kitchen.
“Oh, I meant-” Choso looks up at you with those sad puppy-dog eyes and you plop down beside him. “Nevermind.” Sitting cross-legged, you glance around, but you don’t hear or see Yuji. “Where’s your brother?”
“At a friend’s.”
That’s a relief. You nod, ruffling Choso’s hair. At least you’ve gotten a couple of words out of the reserved little boy.
“What are you making?” You ask curiously, trying to peer up at the counter. From where you’re sitting, all you can make out is the top of the pot that you assume the potatoes Sukuna was giving instructions about earlier are boiling in.
Choso fiddles with the bottom of his apron. “Pie.”
“Pie? Shepherd’s pie?”
Choso nods.
“That sounds great,” you grin in an effort to lighten the mood, but Choso isn’t receptive to your efforts. You shuffle to sit closer to him, wrapping your arms around your knees. You’re not built for the floor like the kid is. “Do you wanna talk, Cho?” You query, quietly observing the way that his little hands, fiddling with his apron, slow to a halt before dropping into his lap.
“Why’s Kuna mad at Toji?”
You sigh. “It’s complicated.”
“I like Toji. He’s nice. Mostly.”
You blow a breath out through your nose in a semblance of a laugh, a faint smile drawing your lips upwards. “Mostly?”
Choso doesn’t share your amusement outwardly, but he entertains your question. “He was like another older brother,” he shrugs.
“With all the good and bad of a big brother. I get it,” you chuckle, shifting to lean back on your arms as you struggle to find a comfortable way to sit on the kitchen tile. “Did you spend a lot of time with Toji?”
Choso nods. “They ditched me at the theater once.”
Your brow raises. “At the theater?” Your question is laced in disbelief.
Choso nods.
“Why?”
“They wanted to see a scary movie.”
“Wow, they were mean older brothers,” you agree, absolutely planning on giving Sukuna a hard time for that.
“Dad grounded Kuna for a month.”
“He deserved it,” you smile, rubbing the kid’s back gently. Looking for any excuse to get up off the floor, you point up at the pot on the stove where the water continues to boil. “Let’s check the potatoes again.”
Choso nods, getting to his feet and stepping up onto a small stool.
“Careful not to burn yourself,” you urge, standing behind him as he takes a fork and stabs a potato. When it comes up on the fork easily, Choso turns off the stove, shooting a glance at you in a silent question of whether that’s what to do. You nod, helping him dump out the water and potatoes into a strainer and teaching him to mash them.
As he jabs the masher into the bowl of starch, he sticks his tongue out in concentration as you add salt and milk to the mixture for him.
Out of nowhere, Choso slows to a halt, his head whipping to face the window. Tilting your head, you follow his gaze when you realize that the two men who walked outside to continue their argument have raised their voices and they must be right below the window as you can faintly make out their words.
“Why wouldn’t you ask for help?”
“I don’t need help!”
Turning to Choso, you smile. “Keep mashing, okay?”
His eyes trail after you as you grab your boots and slide the balcony door open, stepping out into the cold. Hugging your arms around yourself in an attempt to keep warm, you peek over the railing at the two men below.
“If you weren’t my friend, I swear I woulda socked ya in the jaw by now, you-”
“Hey!” You call down, catching their attention as they both look up at you. “You’re upsetting Choso.”
Sukuna inhales a long breath, sighing loudly. “Look-” Sukuna begins, his voice strained in an effort to keep it down for Choso’s sake. “I don’t need any help-”
“Don’t need any help or don’t need my help?” Toji interjects, casting a glance at you. Your eyes widen slightly, heat rushing up your neck. Yeah, you could understand Toji being a bit hurt at the idea that Sukuna let you in while he pushed away his best friend.
Sukuna’s fingers curl at his sides into fists. “I don’t need your help,” he snarls.
“Fine.” Toji finally gives in, sick of not getting anywhere with the brash and stubborn history major. He shoves the box against Sukuna’s chest, turning on his heel to walk away. “My number’s on the note in the box. Call me if ya decide to stop bein’ a prick.”
Sukuna seethes as he watches Toji get in a beat up old Honda and drive off. If it were any colder, you swear you would be able to see steam coming from his ears. When the car’s out of sight, Sukuna’s sharp gaze rises to you, his expression unreadable besides his obvious anger. “Go inside. You’ll catch somethin’,” Sukuna calls.
“I will. You come inside too, you don’t have a jacket,” you point out.
Sukuna hardly even noticed, in truth, but regardless he makes his way inside just as you do. Shivering as warmth envelops you once more, you run your hands up and down your arms a few times in an attempt to generate heat while you pull your boots off.
Choso’s standing by his potatoes, unevenly chopping carrots and putting them in a smaller pot alongside some corn. He’s shockingly good in the kitchen, making his Christmas gifts and his eagerness to follow you as you cook make more sense.
Returning to Choso’s side, you help him fill the pot with water, setting it on the stove as you wait for the veggies to boil.
“Why are Kuna and Toji mean to each other?”
You ponder his question for a moment, dreading the idea of the former walking through the door anytime now. “They’re not very good at talking about their feelings,” you land on as an explanation.
“Why?”
Frowning, you contemplate his query.
You’re glad Choso’s speaking more, but his questions are giving you a run for your money.
“Not everyone is as good at understanding their feelings as you and I are,” you explain. “Your brother isn’t very good at it.”
“At what?” He gruffs, pushing through the door.
Fuuuuuu-
“Don’t worry about it.”
Luckily for you, Sukuna isn’t in the mood to argue with you. “Need a minute to cool off,” he grumbles, trudging to his room and shutting the door with an unintentional slam.
Sighing, you return to the vegetables as they steadily come to a boil.
Choso stares hard at the boiling pot above his line of sight, his brow knit into a deep scowl.
“What’s up, honey?” You ask with a tilt of your head, leaning down a bit to his height. He shakes his head in an effort to get his long hair out of his face, deep in thought. When it doesn’t work, he pushes it from his face, but it just falls back into his eyes. “Can I help?”
He nods, watching your movements as you quickly jog to the washroom to grab a couple of hair ties that you’d left behind the last time you’d helped him put his hair up. It only takes a moment before you’ve tied two messy buns up at the back of his head.
Now able to see, Choso’s thoughtful expression returns. “What’s up, honey?” You try again.
“Will you talk to Kuna? He listens to you.”
You chuckle quietly. “I don’t know about that.” Still, he does listen to you… a portion of the time, which is more than can be said for most. “What do you want me to talk to him about?”
“Being friends with Toji.”
Your heart twists at the meaning behind Choso’s words. Whether he misses Toji or simply wants Sukuna to be happier, you can’t say for sure, but it’s endearing nonetheless.
Gently rubbing his back, you nod. “Sure. When you can stab the carrots with a fork, turn the stove off, okay? Be super careful.”
Choso nods.
Making your way over to Sukuna’s door, you cautiously knock.
“Come in.”
Twisting the knob, you push inside slowly. His room is a bit messier than the last time you were in here, the memory making your heart race as you recall your heated kiss. Light floods in from the window, better illuminating the art and posters on his walls, as well as what you’re sure is a pile of lightly used hoodies that seems to have taken over his desk chair. His weights are scattered carelessly in front of his dresser, his work polo discarded atop the wooden furniture.
Sukuna eyes you from where he leans against his headboard, his gaze still filled with mild irritation, though he is holding the phone that Toji handed him. You suppose that’s an overall positive.
“Whaddya want?” Sukuna grumbles, though the frustration within his sharp gaze doesn’t carry over to his voice.
“Well,” you begin softly, making your way over to his bed to take a seat beside him. “I originally came to drop off some stuff and let you know you have a paper due tomorrow-”
“Fuck that,” he groans, slumping down as he goes through the new phone setup screen.
“- five thousand words, by the way.”
“On what?” He sighs, the phone illuminating his features as he continues going through setup.
“Charles Dickens.”
“No. You’re fuckin’ with me.”
“I’m unfortunately dead serious.”
Crimson eyes finally part from the phone as Sukuna scowls at you, searching for any sign that you’re lying. When he doesn’t find one, he flips onto his stomach with a muffled groan into the pillow. His bicep brushes your thigh and you swallow hard, reminding yourself he doesn’t feel that way for you and it’s just an accident.
“I fuckin’ told you she’s a conspiracy theorist,” he gruffs from deep within the pillow, barely audible past the material.
You giggle, thankful for the somewhat lighthearted subject. “I still can’t believe you were right.”
“Wish I wasn’t.”
Silence falls over you as Sukuna remains buried in his pillow, finally raising his head with a prolonged sigh. He rests his chin on the pillow, staring tiredly at the gray material of his headboard. The fabric is worn where he usually sits, beginning to tear where his back slumps against it when he uses his laptop.
Not like he has the cash for a new one anyway.
“Is that all ya came in here for?” He asks finally, eyes still trained on the way threads are pulled taut in the fabric, barely held together as they wear thin.
“Uraume had me drop off a couple of things too. But-”
“Why’d you bring Toji?” Sukuna interrupts suddenly, lifting his gaze to scowl at you.
Blinking at his sudden change in demeanor, you shake your head. “He was here when I got here.”
“That prick,” he mutters under his breath, dropping his chin to stare at his headboard.
“You know, Choso sent me in here.”
“Great,” the salmon-haired man mumbles, “what does the brat want? I left the recipe for him.”
“Be nice to your brother. He’s going through a lot,” you scold.
“And I’m not?” He hisses, his head raising to look at you. When you return his scowl, he backs down, chin on his pillow again.
“Cho misses Toji. He wanted me to talk to you about being friends with him again.”
Your words silence Sukuna’s sharp tongue as all he can do is stare down at the black pillowcase beneath him. He shuffles slightly, his arm pressing into you.
He may be stubborn about Toji, but his brothers never fail to crack his tough exterior. As of late though, his demeanor doesn’t simply crack when it comes to his brothers, it crumbles. Sukuna flips onto his side, eyes downcast as he faces you now with one arm under the pillow and the other moving up to rest on your thigh.
Your breath catches in your throat at the feeling of his large hand squeezing the plush of your thigh.
Mirroring Sukuna’s frown, you set your hand over his softly. “What happened between you two anyway?”
Sukuna sighs. “Nothing, really. We just didn’t talk about heavy shit so I never told him what was goin’ on.”
Of course that’s all there is to it. Grimacing, you drum your fingers lightly over the back of his hand as you debate whether you want to say something. His eyes watch the movement intently, drawn to the way your fingers feel so soft on his skin.
“I’m gonna say something-” you pause, watching his eyes flicker up to meet yours, “- and you aren’t allowed to get upset with me.”
Sukuna’s brow twitches, curling into a scowl. “I don’t get mad over every little thing.”
If ever there was a time you gave Sukuna a look, this was it. “So last week, when you chased me down to my car-”
Flipping back to his stomach until his face is shoved back in his pillow, he mutters a “shut up” that barely makes it to your ears, thoroughly muffled. Regardless, you laugh, gently patting the hand that remains on your thigh.
“I know you’re letting me in, and that’s great, but Toji’s just trying to help too,” you point out.
Sukuna doesn’t move, the musculature of his back rising and falling steadily as he stubbornly keeps his face buried in his pillow.
“You never told me he used to be your best friend.”
“You never asked.” Again, you can barely make out his words.
Sighing, you rest a hand on his back. His muscles seize briefly beneath the tips of your fingers, before relaxing as you rub small circles between his shoulder blades. Sukuna lifts his head finally after a moment, turning his face to you as he remains on his stomach. He looks more at ease than he has in a long while, likely because he obviously skipped class to sleep, though you’re sure the gentle massaging of your hand is nice too.
“Why is it so bad to let him in?” You query, the tips of your fingers brushing against his spine. A shiver overtakes him, though he does his best to mask it.
“I took the damn phone,” he grumbles, as though there isn’t a bigger point to this whole situation.
Your lips press into a thin line as you stare at the stubborn man. Your fingers pause as you contemplate your next words. “The Zenins are pretty rich, aren’t they? Why don’t you ask for a hand with the lawyer-”
“I’m not a fucking charity case,” he hisses, every muscle pulled taut as he glares at you, an unspoken warning laced within his tone that you’re pushing his buttons.
You work your fingers across his muscles again, soothing him to release the tension in his shoulders. Slowly but surely, he relaxes in the silence, basking in the warmth of your hand.
“I never said you were. You could pay him back.”
“No.” He gruffs firmly.
It takes everything in you not to raise your head to the heavens and groan. Sukuna can be so ridiculously frustrating sometimes.
Stubborn as a mule, you have no other option but to give in. “Well… Just remember what Choso said.”
“I took the phone, isn’t that good enough for the brat?”
“It’s a hand-me-down phone, not a friendship bracelet,” you point out, unable to stifle the giggle that comes with your words.
Sukuna cracks an eye open, rolling it dramatically before flipping his face to stare at the wall. A comfortable silence hangs over you as Sukuna shuts his eyes after a moment, enjoying the feeling of your fingers smoothing across his muscles. The sun warms your skin through his window, goading a yawn from you as you find yourself leaning against his headboard. Your fingers slide along his shoulder blades as you find yourself shutting your eyes in the serene warmth of the afternoon sun.
Your hand slowly begins to still as fatigue overtakes both of you, and you bask in the cozy environment like a cat finding a patch of light.
It’s not until you hear a clank from the kitchen that you’re snapped out of your drowsiness and realize that Sukuna’s not the only one with a paper due tomorrow.
Glancing at the time, you pat Sukuna’s back gently. His head raises as he blearily looks you over, a questioning look on his face. It’s painfully sweet, the way he seems to be wondering why you stopped like a cat wondering why you’re no longer petting them.
Seems like you were a pair of happy cats for a moment.
“I need to go write that paper, and so should you.”
He hums in acknowledgement.
“I’ll help Choso get the food in the oven, sound good?”
Sukuna hums again, rubbing his eyes.
“Send me your number, by the way. I’ll see you in class tomorrow?”
“I have a morning shift after I drop the brats off,” he grumbles. “I’ll try to be there.”
“Just don’t forget about your paper!” You remind him, slipping off the bed towards the door.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Bonus points if you talk about Dickens’ death conspiracy theory!” You chant when you reach the doorway, a mischievous smile pulling at the corners of your lips.
He snorts, rolling his eyes as he pushes himself into a sitting position. “Where he died doesn’t fuckin’ change anything.”
With a grin, you just giggle along, heading out the door.
With his hands clutching the edge of the mattress, the burly man stares silently at the gray carpet beneath his feet. He can barely make out the sound of your voice, saccharine sweet and gentle, as you direct Choso while helping him put together the meal.
Lifting a hand, he subconsciously scratches at his spine between his shoulder blades, sending a shiver through his body.
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon
❦ a/n ; soooo this was originally meant to end on a different scene but by the time i hit 20k words i figured i should split it LOL sorry for the delay! had to take a small break for my mental health, but! the next chapter is already at 8k since i chose to split this, so i should be able to get it out soon <33 as always, thank you so much for all the love! i've gotten so many sweet comments, rbs, and asks and i absolutely love hearing everyone's thoughts on the chapter. ily all <33
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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune
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Unfinished wip for dragon Sylus….i love him a lot (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩)
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cw: suggestive themes, swearing, 18+ blog mdni
notes: from the same au as my one shot “Warm on a Cold Night” // check out the first HC here
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who could be charming and actually good with his words when he wanted to be, but overall, communication was not his strong suit.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - whose life might not have been the most smooth sailing, but he always took matters into his own hands and somehow managed to carve out his own path, which fueled his arrogance a little more than it should have.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who struggled with having to accommodate for someone else, when he had been so comfortable living life on his own terms and accord—now it always nagged at the back of his mind that there was someone else he had to answer to. But he still tried his best.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who finally got you to be his girlfriend after half a year. You understood that he could be a little rough around the edges and has a (very) wild side, but you deemed him to be a good man beneath it all. You also respected that he was able to make something for himself despite his turbulent past.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who couldn't believe that he was able to get the girl of his dream, but after a year of being together, your relationship quickly became an emotional roller coaster—volatile and chaotic. The two of you would reach the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. He truly loved you, but given how he had always lived his life, this was all uncharted territory for him. This went on for another three years.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who loved going on vacations with you. Surprisingly, he’s the one who usually plans them. He also pays for every single one of them, he just asks when you’re free to go and plans accordingly. It’s cheesy, but he wanted to see the world with you—only you. The two of you would always have a great time wherever you went. And this also meant that he wasn’t arguing with you about certain aspects of his life, he knew it was a temporary escape, but if only it could always stay like this.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - speaking of arguments and conflict, he always got angry and frustrated when you were upset or crying, but most of the time the frustration and anger wasn't actually directed towards you—it was to himself. He felt like he failed you, and deep down he knew what was causing your grievances, but he was also stubborn and selfish in his own ways.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who argued with you about the same things over and over again. It always starts with you expressing concern about his lifestyle and the crowd of people he hung out with. You weren’t trying to control or dictate him, but his self-destructive behavior always seems to be exacerbated and encouraged by his so-called friends. You were worried about him. The only people that seemed to try to keep him in check was his family and his best friend Uraume.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who walks away, leaving you a sobbing mess in the apartment after one particular nasty argument. Even though he didn't explicitly say he wanted to break up this time, the words said during this argument was hard to come back from, and his choice to walk away instead of addressing the issue time after time, inherently put things into perspective. This time, things seemed rather final, and his intuition was correct as he finds his belongings all packed up in a box the very next day.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who doesn't say much at the sight of his boxed up belongings. There were no questions, no fight, no protest, not a single word. He quietly takes the box, accepting the reality of the situation, throws your spare keys on the dining table, and leaves without sparing you another glance - like the past four years meant nothing, like you meant nothing.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who was working out at the gym after he dropped his stuff back at his own place. He forgot to bring his headphones and had to listen to the much dreaded gym music. "Baby Come Back" was on blast and he nearly wanted to throw his weights into the mirror. Needless to say, he added that song to his playlist the same night.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who found himself in front of Yorozu's door three weeks later. Yes, this wasn't the best idea, but the two of you had broken up. He no longer had to justify his actions with you. Besides, he just needed to blow off some steam, and he didn't know who else to go to that would have openly accepted his current predicament.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who knew he majorly fucked up when you called him at 2:30 AM, drunk and sobbing hysterically, while he was still over at Yorozu’s. As he’s scrambling to get dressed to come pick you up, he’s praying to all the gods out there that you will never find out about this. He swears on his life that this was going to be the last time he had ever sought Yorozu out for favors again.
a/n: ahh, I've been enjoying making hc's for this au, it's a nice little break from my other projects right now. Just something fun and lighthearted that doesn’t require a lot of time and editing. And I do enjoy writing hc's because I treat them as little lores and ideas for potential one shots that I can go back on. If I start expanding a lot on this au, I may have to come up with a series name. The events in this hc all happen prior to ‘Warm on a Cold Night’.
Shameless self plug: you can check out some of my other works here under 'archive'. x
#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk fanworks#jjk headcanons#jjk reactions#sukuna headcanons#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna smut#sukuna#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen
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Things are coming along for [Devour] Chapter 4, but it's still missing some elements and aspects that I want, so the release date is currently TBD. I really hope to get it out before the end of this month though, but I promise I'm working on it!
In all honesty, the only reason why it looks like I'm able to pump out chapters for this series on a consistent schedule is because I actually had almost the entire story planned and written out from the very beginning (sans the editing). But throughout this process I realize there's a lot of ideas that I ended up forgoing/changing, and even taking a different turn in the overall creative direction, so a lot of things I have originally written out got completely scrapped, but I still had somewhat of a base to work off of. It's definitely been a fun creative experience.
Here are some snippets of chapter 4:
Thank you for the support & stay tuned. x
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[Devour] Chapter 3: Consume
Pairing: Ryomen Sukuna x fem!reader
Word count: 7.7K
Warnings: please read my blog's rules before interacting. 18+ mdni, angst, smut, hurt/no comfort, explicit sexual content, undertones of misogyny (because the 'olden days'), mature themes, depiction of gore and violence, mentions of pregnancy and abortion. Please note that these warnings pertain to the entire series as a whole, and not just to this specific chapter.
CW: virginity loss, non-consensual touching, this chapter is pretty smut-heavy, oral (reader giving).
Tags: mini series, angst, smut, Heian Era, true form Sukuna
Summary: You swear yourself to Sukuna. Your new life at the temple with him and Uraume begins, and a few months go by, you slowly start to believe that your escape had in fact been successful. Then, an unexpected visitor shows up - reopening the feelings of doubt and insecurities.
A/N: I can't believe it, we're half way through the story! Also, my brain is completely nuked from this chapter. Sometimes I love getting into the spicy details and other times it's a little too much for me. If you would like to be added on the tag list for this series, please let me know/leave a comment here. Thank you so much for reading and stay tuned. x
Masterlist: < Chapter 2 | Chapter 4 (To be continued) >
Sukuna was rough and demanding. His grip tightened slightly on your jaw, a silent command for entry. As your mouth parted in response, he wasted no time. His tongue immediately burrowed inside, claiming you in a deep, possessive kiss. The intensity was dizzying, as a rush of new feelings assault your senses all at once. It was hard to breathe.
"Hah—", you gasped momentarily for air until he crashed his lips back onto yours. He gripped your hair tight, holding you firmly in place.
His other set of arms began to roam your body, sending shivers down your spine. You could feel the weight of his desire as he slowly undressed you, layer by layer, the rustle of fabric falling to the wooden floor. With each piece of clothing that slipped away, you felt increasingly exposed as the cool air caressed your skin. It was difficult to focus on the kiss as you became acutely aware of your nakedness. Meanwhile, Sukuna seemed to relish this moment; his hands ghosted over your bare skin, tracing every inch of you, etching you into his memory.
A moan escaped your lips as his hands slowly found their way to your breasts, squeezing and teasing your taut buds. You gripped his kimono, the fabric bunching in your fists as a strange, thrilling sensation coursed through you.
Sukuna grunted, a smile creeping onto his features at you being so responsive to a simple touch. He scooped you up and placed you on the bed, his crimson eyes darkening as you were splayed out before him—breathless, flushed, disheveled, and perfectly bare. You looked so vulnerable, so easy to break—igniting a primal hunger within him.
Feeling self-conscious under his scrutinizing look, you instinctively tried to pull the blanket from beneath for cover.
"Don't hide yourself," he hissed, grabbing your wrists and pinning you down on the bed.
"I—I don't know what I should be doing," your voice shook with apprehension.
"I'll show you. Just relax."
His lips trailed kisses down your jawline to your collarbone, his grip on your wrists unyielding.
"Have you touched yourself before?" His other pair of hands began to draw circles on your inner thighs.
You shook your head, his question sending a flutter of nerves through your stomach.
"Do the women in your village not teach their daughters? How were you expected to pleasure a lord?" He asked, though it enraged him to imagine another man taking you in his place. Only he was privy to this side of you.
Before you could respond, Sukuna bore down his teeth and sucked on the side of your neck. His large hands tightened on your throat, asserting his dominion over you.
"I—ngh!" you winced.
The sting of his bite sent a jolt through you. The mark would be there for all to see—a sign that you belonged to him. As he continued to place love bites along your neck, shoulders, and collarbone, you felt a heady mix of pleasure and possession.
It became overwhelming as his fingers found your most sensitive spot between your legs. Rubbing your bundle of nerves, he elicited a gasp from you; your core twitched involuntarily. The feeling of surrendering to him was both thrilling and nerve-wracking.
"You're wet," Sukuna mused, satisfaction lacing his voice.
Coating your folds with your slick, he continued to rub and kiss you deeply, his free hands exploring, ensuring every inch of you was touched, known, and claimed.
Your legs shook involuntarily as a numbing pleasure pooled around your lower abdomen. It was a feeling you couldn't quite comprehend—a delicious tightening that made your blood rush to your head.
"Hah—Ryo, I-I'm feeling strange," you said, your eyes shut tightly as you tried to process the feelings. Your lip was caught between your teeth as you attempted to hold back the unknown pleasure.
"It's alright, give into it, flower," Sukuna whispered knowingly into your ear, his breath hot against your skin.
You relaxed as he instructed, relinquishing control. The numbing sensation soon transformed into intense pleasure, unlike anything you'd ever experienced. Your body arched off the bed, a cry escaping your lips as a wave of indescribable euphoria crashed over you. It was a feeling that took over every fiber of your being, leaving you trembling. Sukuna guided you through your first orgasm, ensuring you rode the wave of bliss to its very peak.
Satisfied with how wet you had become, Sukuna's fingers teased and toyed with your entrance. You inhaled sharply, and your body recoiled slightly from the sensitivity. But before you could process the intrusion, he slid a finger inside you.
There was a slight burn as he stretched and filled you. Sukuna worked his finger slowly at first, then added another, preparing you for what was to come. His touch was firm and sure, knowing exactly how to elicit the most exquisite responses from your body.
As he thrust his fingers deep into you at a slow and steady rhythm, his breath quickened too.
"You feel divine," he groaned.
His free hand gripped your hip, holding you firmly in place as he thrust his fingers deep, exploring every inch of your tight walls. The familiar wave of your climax built quickly, a coil of tension winding tighter and tighter. You could feel the pleasure radiating from where he stimulated you, sending you to the brink of your second release.
But just as you were about to topple over the edge, he stopped.
A small whine escaped your lips as he pulled his fingers out. You couldn't help but watch as he brought his glistening fingers to his mouth, licking them clean of your nectar. The sight of him tasting you, savoring every part of you, sent an unfamiliar possessiveness over you.
Sukuna swiftly removed his clothes and stood before you, his tattooed, muscular frame on full display. You couldn't help but notice his size, and a nervousness settled in your stomach. You recalled the women in your village talking about the pain and bleeding during the first time, but they had said that with time, the discomfort would fade, and if your husband valued your pleasure, new heights could be reached.
You also noticed something else—his abdomen had another mouth. It surprised you; you had noticed the line before but assumed it was a scar. You swallowed at the sight, unable to hide your curiosity.
"It won't bite, I promise," Sukuna mused, noticing the hint of surprise in your eyes.
He took your hand, guiding it over the planes of his chiseled abdomen, and the mouth remained shut. With a deliberate slowness, he teased you, leading your trembling hand downward, only to stop just shy of his manhood, denying you the touch you craved. Then, in a swift movement, he pinned your hand to the bed and leaned forward, his naked body pressing against yours.
You could feel everything—the heat radiating from his skin, the slickness of his sweat-glistening body, and the hardness of his member pressed against your core.
"You're exquisite," he murmured, his lips trailing along your collarbone.
"It'll be uncomfortable, but endure it for me," he said huskily. His arms snaked around your ankles, spreading your legs wide.
You nodded, heart racing as you thought of what's about to come next.
Sukuna lined himself up and briefly glanced over at you, he could see the anticipation and tension in your eyes, which only fueled his possessiveness. Collecting your slick on his length, he began to gradually probe his tip into your entrance, causing your eyes to shoot open at the intrusion.
"Ryo, i-it hurts," you gasped, your hand instinctively pushing against his chest. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, a mix of pain and nervousness washing over you.
"Endure it," he lowly murmured, capturing your hand in his and kissing you deeply to distract from the discomfort.
As he continued to push into you, his arms held you firmly in place, tightly gripping your hips and ankles. The stretch was immense, and you squirmed, but your protests fell on deaf ears.
"No—it's too much!" you cried out.
He paid no heed to your cries.
Then, an unmistakable metallic smell filled the air—you were bleeding. Sukuna's eyes grew dark and hungry at the sight. The mouth on his abdomen suddenly jolted awake, its large pink tongue lapping at your blood. Your blood offering sent him into a primal frenzy.
"Ryo—!" Your body tensed, and your breath became unsteady.
"I knew it; you taste divine," Sukuna lowly whispered, his lips close to your ear. "Do you know how long I've waited for this? How long I've coveted you?"
His words sent a shudder through your body and straight into your core.
"I tried to stay away, but it seems that even the heavens want us to be together. If that is what the universe wants, who am I to resist any longer?" he growled.
With the fervor of a possessed man, he thrust into you, filling you completely. You cried out, feeling as though you were being split in half; the pain was intense, something you couldn't have anticipated.
For Sukuna, the feeling of being joined with you was beyond anything he could have ever imagined. All the times he had pleasured himself to you, and even his countless intimate encounters with Yorozu while imagining it was you, none of it compared to the ecstasy of this moment. Your body, your responses, your cries—they were everything he had ever wanted and more.
Sukuna was convinced that the skies above had created you specifically for him. He felt the pull of your body around him, a tight heat that drove him to the edge of control. The sound of your whimpers, your voice calling out his name—he knew, with absolute certainty, that only you held a reign over him.
His movements became more urgent as he continued to thrust in and out of you, the tongue on his abdomen simultaneously lapping at your oversensitive bud. Your initial pain had morphed into a blazing pleasure, and you couldn't hold back the lewd moans that escaped your lips. Each cry of his name, each dig of your nails into his back, pushed him closer to the edge.
The way your body clenched around him, milking his thick member, was relentless. It took every ounce of his willpower to hold back from finding his release too soon.
"I-I'm—hah—", your breath quickened as you felt your climax building.
Sukuna's thrusts became wilder, more primal. He was dangerously close himself. As you tumbled over the edge, he slammed into you with such force that the impact knocked the wind out of you. His body stiffened, his member twitching uncontrollably as he released, filling you with his seed.
Sukuna narrowly avoided collapsing onto your spent body, instead lying beside you. His chest heaved as he observed you. Your breaths came in shallow pants, your eyes glazed over in a post-climactic haze, and dried tears stained your cheeks. He thought you had never looked more beautiful than you did at this very moment.
As the warmth of your shared intimacy settled within you, a heaviness gripped your heart. It wasn't regret; rather, it was the realization that your emotions often dictated your actions. You felt conflicted; you had never imagined yourself sharing a bed with a man to whom you weren't married. But did it really matter if you loved him? Would your grandmother be ashamed of all the choices that led you to this very moment? Doubts began to swirl in your mind. Had you made the right decision? Was it truly alright to stay with him?
"Flower," he murmured, cupping your cheek in his hand.
You turned to him as he leaned in, capturing you in a gentle and tender kiss that spoke more than a thousand words.
A small tear rolled down your cheek. It seemed he had always understood the depths of your emotions and thoughts.
---
The moment you surrendered yourself to Sukuna, an inner switch flipped within him—his desire for you became insatiable.
There were times when you would venture with him into the woods in the early mornings to collect herbs and flowers, while he hunted for animals and curses nearby. However, more often than not, before you could make it back home, Sukuna's patience would wear thin. He would pull you against the nearest tree, unable to wait any longer, and take you on the spot. Yet, his preferred spot was behind a hidden waterfall, where the sounds of your cries were masked by the rushing water. He wanted to keep every part of you exclusive to him, down to the wanton sounds you made.
"You take me so well, flower," Sukuna chuckled, his eyes sparked with mirth. With lazy yet deliberate thrusts, he moved in and out of you, his length disappearing and sliding back out with ease. The two of you were secluded behind the waterfall, your body pressed between the cold, slick rocks and his large body.
"What if someone sees us?" you panted, a tinge of worry creeping in. Even after all this time, you had never grown accustomed to being passionate with him outside the confines of the bedroom.
"No one will find us here," he cooed, his lips trailing down your neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.
If they did, they wouldn't live to tell the tale.
"N-no, not there," you gently pushed Sukuna's face away from your neck, a soft whimper escaping your lips. Your cheeks flushed with a mix of pleasure and embarrassment.
Sukuna frowned, a hint of annoyance flashing in his eyes.
"Please, nowhere... visible," you whispered, recalling the aftermath of your first night with him. The next morning, your body had been covered in marks, and to your horror, you couldn't conceal all of them. You knew Uraume had noticed them, but they would politely avert their gaze and feign ignorance. You couldn't bear to meet their eyes for the next few weeks after the incident.
"Fine," Sukuna conceded with a hint of mischief in his tone.
He lowered his mouth to your breasts, planting delicate kisses that made your head spin. You threw your head back, a soft moan escaping your lips as pleasure washed over you. Sukuna's lips curved into a satisfied smile against your skin, reveling in the effect he had on you.
---
It had been a few months since your arrival, and though the days were simple, they were filled with a quiet happiness. It felt as if the troubles that had plagued you after your escape were now a lifetime ago. With each passing day, your doubts and worries began to subside more and more.
As much as you longed to stay by Sukuna's side, you also resolved to make yourself useful around the temple. You often ran errands with Uraume, gathering herbs and medicinal ingredients from the forest and mountain, building a steady rapport with them as you spent time together. You also tended to the garden and shared the daily chores, finding much comfort in the routine.
Sukuna often left early in the morning, returning only as the sun began to set. When he did come back, he would frequently bring hunted animals, and Uraume would take care of preserving the meat. If you didn’t join him that day, you wouldn’t see him for most of it, but you would always wait for him under the grand tree by the temple entrance as it neared the time of his return.
"You've been returning with wounds lately," you frowned one day as you tended to Sukuna's injuries. He sat on a wooden stool that was much too small for his large stature—then again, for someone of his build most things were comparatively small—but it allowed him to see you eye to eye.
"I don't recall you ever getting hurt like this," your fingers gently brushed over the injuries.
"It's just a scratch, flower. It's to be expected when you're hunting," Sukuna reassured you with a devilish smile.
Uraume quietly observed the exchange with amusement, sipping their tea. They knew their master could easily heal these surface wounds using his reversed curse technique, but it seemed he found delight in the moments when you worried over him. It was an unusual situation—one that Uraume found endearing. They had never seen their master like this before.
Sukuna studied your face as you focused on his wound. His gaze traced the lines of concentration on your brow, moving from your eyes to your lips. He had an overwhelming urge to close the gap between you, but he knew you would have a fit at such blatant affection in front of Uraume. Yet, he couldn't deny that he secretly enjoyed it when you were a little irritated with him. With a sigh of discontentment, he resigned himself to watching you.
As you were patching him up, an unexpected knock at the front door drew both your and Uraume's attention.
"I'll get that," Uraume said, rising gracefully from their seat and making their way to the door.
Your eyes curiously followed Uraume. It wasn't often that they had visitors; in fact, this was the first time for you.
"You haven't finished patching up my wound yet," Sukuna said, attempting to redirect your focus back to him. There was a playful tone in his voice, but also an undercurrent of seriousness that made you smile.
You resumed wrapping the cloth around his chest when he suddenly tucked a stray hair behind your ear. You looked at him, a blush painting your cheeks. He found you irresistibly beautiful when you blushed. The air thickened between you, tension rising as the outside world faded away. Sukuna began to lean in, and your lips were almost touching when—
"Uraume, where is Sukuna-sama?" a woman's voice called out, followed by approaching footsteps.
Your reflexes kicked in, and you pulled back abruptly. Your heart raced as you quickly finished wrapping his wound. Sukuna's expression hardened at the recognition of the voice, a flicker of annoyance passing over his features.
"Sukuna-sama—!" A tall and strikingly beautiful woman entered the room, her presence was magnetizing. She wore nothing but an untied haori, her bare skin fully exposed as she strode confidently into the space. The sight of how exposed she was sent a rush of flustered heat through you, and you quickly looked away.
The atmosphere in the room noticeably shifted at her appearance, the air was tense and suffocating, and the flicker of disdain in her look as they landed on you was apparent.
You hesitantly glanced at Sukuna, who seemed relatively unfazed by the woman's lack of attire. An uncomfortable thought bubbled in your chest at this observation.
“Yorozu,” Sukuna said, irritation lacing his tone as he leaned back against the wall, attempting to maintain his composure. "What are you doing here?"
"I haven't seen you in a while, so I thought I'd come by," Yorozu smiled, though the expression didn’t quite reach her eyes. "I see you must have been busy."
"My well-being does not concern you," Sukuna replied curtly.
"Don't be so cold, Sukuna-sama," Yorozu cooed, gliding closer toward you both. "After all, I've made the long travel just to see you."
"And who is this?" Yorozu turned her attention toward you, her eyes appraising you as if you were some sort of object—a lesser being.
"Introductions won't be necessary," Sukuna coldly interrupted, before allowing you to speak. His tone left no room for argument.
A tense silence enveloped the room as your heart raced, trying to discern the relationship between Sukuna and Yorozu.
"Leave us," Sukuna instructed you and Uraume, his words coming out harshly.
He had never spoken so coldly towards you before; it felt as if the man standing before you was a completely different person. Why had Sukuna never mentioned Yorozu? What kind of relationship did they have? It struck you, once again, that there was still so much about him you didn't know. Quietly, you gathered the bandages and medicinal herbs into the basin and left with Uraume.
---
"Have you been bedding that wench?" Yorozu snarled, her voice dripping with contempt. "I can smell her scent all over you."
" Who I bed is none of your concern." Sukuna snapped, a dangerous edge to his reply.
"Is that why you haven't visited lately?" she pressed, her expression darkening.
" You forget yourself. Our arrangements had always been temporary."
"But she is worthless, Sukuna-sama," Yorozu hissed, her disdain palpable. "A non-sorcerer. You have always loathed the weak."
"She is not weak. Do not speak of her as if you know her," Sukuna seethed, giving Yorozu a warning glare that promised violence.
"What is it about her that has you so ensnared?" Yorozu challenged, pushing herself up against Sukuna, her bare skin brushing against his arm. "Does she pleasure you well? Better than I?"
"Don't test me," Sukuna warned, his voice low and barely restrained.
Yorozu hummed, releasing her grip from Sukuna's arm with a smirk. She sensed the violent aura radiating from him, and it only spurred her on even more.
"I suppose she does seem like a fun little toy," she snickered, a sly glint in her eyes. "You wouldn't mind if I played with her as well, right?"
"You will do no such thing. You are not to even look her way," Sukuna growled, a fierce protectiveness surging through him. "Leave at once, and don't come here unannounced again."
"You're so cruel, Sukuna-sama," Yorozu bitterly smiled, her expression a mix of mockery and something deeper. "But I accept you because you'll come to realize that I'm the one who understands you the most."
"Don't give me that nonsense," he replied, the disdain clear in his tone.
"You don't see it now, but you'll realize it later," she taunted as she turned to leave.
As Yorozu made her way out of the temple, her eyes spotted you in the garden. A sly smirk played on her lips, accompanied by a predatory glint in her gaze—she wasn't about to admit defeat easily; she intended to rattle you, even if just a little.
"Sukuna-sama could be so cold," Yorozu mused as she approached you in the garden, her presence ominous. You felt uneasy beneath her gaze but forced yourself to put on a brave facade.
"He doesn't often let people into his life," she continued with a sigh, "Have the two of you known each other for a long time?"
"We met when we were children," you cautiously replied. You sensed the game she wanted to play. From the first moment you looked her in the eyes, it was evident that she looked down on you, and wanted to get under your skin.
"Odd, he has never mentioned you before," she hummed.
"I see... he has never mentioned you either," you countered while patting down the soil in the garden, trying to seem unbothered. But the emotions within you were frenzied.
You heard her footsteps grow closer, closing the distance between you. Suddenly, without warning, she wrapped her arms around you and lifted you off your feet.
"What are you—" you gasped in surprise.
"My, aren't you just a delight?" she whispered into your ear, sending a cold shiver down your spine. Her arms snaked around your waist, and your heart began to race.
"I want to know what it is about you that has Sukuna-sama so smitten," she purred, genuine curiosity laced with bitterness in her voice.
"I think you've misunderstood. Please let go of me," you tried to remain calm, but panic bubbled beneath the surface as you struggled to pry yourself out of her surprisingly strong grasp.
Yorozu leaned in closer, her breath hot against your skin as she licked and sucked on the side of your neck. Your body went rigid, and panic flooded your senses.
"Please, let go of me," you begged, trying to hide the desperation rising in your throat.
She smiled, taking pleasure in your discomfort and relishing the way she made you feel small and vulnerable.
"I can smell him all over you. Have the two of you been having fun?" Yorozu teased, her voice dripping with an unsettling playfulness.
You continued to struggle against her, realizing her inhuman strength. How could she be so strong?
"It takes a lot to satisfy a man and to keep him satisfied, especially someone as insatiable as Sukuna-sama," she continued, her fingers tracing along your curves in a way that made your skin crawl.
"Let me go!" You gasped, unease washing over you like a wave.
"Shall I teach you?" she whispered into your ear, her breath sending cold chills across your skin. "How to satisfy Sukuna-sama?"
"N-no, I don't want to know," you stammered, your voice shaking as you tried to block out the images her words evoked.
"But I know exactly how he likes it," she said, a false sadness in her tone. "He especially enjoys it when I get on all fours and he takes me from behind. Sometimes he can't even wait, and we'll do it in the forest. He'll have me up against a tree—"
"I don't want to hear it!" you shouted, tears brimming in your eyes as you fought to block out the images.
"Have you ever been with a woman before? Perhaps a threesome?" she asked, her hand slipping under your clothes to grasp your chest without permission.
"No! Please, stop!" you cried, shock and confusion washing over you as you recoiled from the invasion.
"I can show you what pleasure feels like," she purred, her voice dripping with allure, "but I must admit, nothing is quite like his cock."
Heat flared in your cheeks at her vulgarity, and a tumultuous wave of anger, hurt, and jealousy surged within you.
You continue to struggle against her as tears streamed down your face. An overwhelming mix of vulnerability and rage fueled you as you fought against her.
"You are not like us; you will never understand Sukuna-sama! You will never have a place with him." Yorozu growled, a cruel smile twisting her lips. "He might not see it now, but he will always—"
"Let her go, Yorozu," Sukuna's commanding voice cut through the tension. The aura around him felt sinister, heavy, and suffocating. You could sense the anger radiating off him like heat.
Yorozu quickly released you, as if immediately coming to her senses. You stumbled slightly as you tried to collect yourself, you could feel Sukuna looking at your disheveled state, but you refused to meet his gaze. Your heart raced as a chaotic whirl of emotions swirled within you.
"Are you alright?" Sukuna reached for your hand, but you shrugged away from his touch, feeling overwhelmed by everything that had just happened. All you wanted was to run away from it all, and that's exactly what you did.
---
“I told you to leave, and you were not to look her way,” Sukuna snarled, closing the gap between himself and Yorozu.
“Sukuna-sama, I was about to leave. But I couldn't resist having a friendly chat with her,” she replied, a smug smile tugging at her lips.
“Do you take me for a fool?” he retorted, his eyes narrowing in warning.
“I was just giving her some womanly advice, she does seem like a pretty little plaything," she smirked, caressing Sukuna's face.
“You will not address her so crudely,” Sukuna gritted his teeth and swatted Yorozu's hand away, the tension crackling in the air between them.
"Do you have feelings for her?" Yorozu probed, but a slight vulnerability cracked through her voice. "Are you truly going to leave me for her?"
"Our relationship has always been purely transactional."
"But what is so special about her? When you have me, who can satisfy you and more?”
"I don't have to explain myself to you," Sukuna's jaw tightened, his patience wearing thin.
"Don't you think you owe it to me, after all that we've shared?" Yorozu challenged, an edge of desperation creeping into her tone.
"I owe you nothing. My intentions with you have always been clear, and you were well aware of it."
"What has that girl done to you? I see the way you look at her, like a lovestruck man—I thought you were above it."
Sukuna was aware that there was merit in her words, but he will never admit it. All these years, he had firmly believed that love was worthless—that such emotions only held him back. He had reached his pinnacle of power by abandoning everything.
"I am the one who was made for you, Sukuna-sama! She is inferior, she will never understand you or love you like I—”
Sukuna seized Yorozu by the jaw, forcing her to meet his fierce gaze.
“You best leave now and stay out of my sight while I’m still feeling generous. I will not tolerate any more of your insolence.” He warned, his voice a deadly whisper. He felt his last threads of patience dangerously close to snapping. The temptation to execute her on the spot grew stronger with each passing second.
With his grip firm, Yorozu's expression darkened—understanding the implications of his words.
“We cannot escape each other. You will come back to me in the end,” she said defiantly, even as tears streamed down her face.
In a heartbeat, she vanished, leaving Sukuna standing alone in the garden, seething with anger.
Yorozu's words echoed in his mind, and he knew deep down that there was a certain truth to what she had said—a truth he vehemently denied for the longest time. The feelings, the tether he felt so strongly towards you could no longer remain hidden. Even now, as he battled internally with his ideals and emotions, his thoughts kept drifting back to you.
Sukuna's eyes searched frantically for you, but you were nowhere in sight—he knew he had to find you.
---
Uraume walked silently beside you in the forest, now painted in golden hues of yellow and orange. The vibrant foliage stood in stark contrast to the turbulent emotions swirling within you. They could sense your upset—they noticed the slight slump of your shoulders and the way you aimlessly kicked at twigs as you walked. Earlier, they had seen you running from the garden, tears streaming down your face, and they knew something was amiss. Despite your stubborn insistence that you were fine, they followed.
You are not like us; you will never understand Sukuna-sama.
Yorozu's words echoed in your mind, making you feel utterly insignificant and inadequate. It bothered you because, to an extent, you believed there was truth to her words. When you briefly observed the three of them together in the room, you felt like an outsider looking in through a glass window. They shared a history, a deep understanding of each other that excluded you, and it served as a constant reminder that everyone around you seemed to know something you didn't—they were more than what you would ever amount to be.
"Do I... hold you back?" you asked Uraume, stopping in your tracks and refusing to meet their gaze.
"Of course not, Y/N-san," Uraume said gently, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Ever since you came into our lives, everything here has been livelier and brighter."
"But what use is that?" you scoffed, attempting to hide your sniffling.
"Well, I've come to enjoy your company and rely on your presence," Uraume smiled softly. "You've been a great help around the temple, and you're very knowledgeable about plants and flowers. But most importantly, Sukuna-sama is happy. I've never seen him like this before."
"Is he really? What if this is all temporary?" Your eyes narrowed, clouded with doubt. "What if you both come to realize that I'm a burden?"
"You must trust him, Y/N-san," Uraume advised. "Sukuna-sama is not one to let people into his life so easily. If he didn't want you here, he would not have offered to make this your home."
"But perhaps he'll come to realize that he only needs people who truly understand him, like you and Yorozu—"
"Don't let her words get to you," Sukuna's voice rang out from behind you.
You froze, your heart pounding in your chest as you felt his presence close by.
"Uraume, return to the temple," he commanded.
"Of course, Sukuna-sama," Uraume replied, their tone sympathetic. "I'll see you later, Y/N-san." Their footsteps began to fade, leaving you alone with Sukuna.
You clasped your hands together, struggling to compose yourself and hold back the tears that threatened to spill over.
"Will you not even look at me?" Irritation laced his voice, and you could sense the impatience in his stance as he stood close behind you.
"I—" Your voice quavered, betraying your emotions.
"Look at me," he seethed, a layer of desperation underlying his irritated tone. His hand shot out, grasping your shoulder and spinning you around forcefully to face him.
You stubbornly fixed your gaze to the ground, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. In truth, you knew this was not entirely his fault, but you also wished he would be more open. He had made you feel safe and desired, yet a persistent sense of something missing plagued you every now and then. Sukuna remained tight-lipped about his past, offering only vague responses whenever you pressed him about it. He chalked it up to his history bearing no relevance to the present, claiming his survival required unsavory actions—things you had already surmised. But now, with the emergence of Yorozu, your imagination ran wild once more. Why couldn’t he have just told you from the start? Why did it always feel like you discovered things only when they could no longer be kept a secret?
"She means nothing to me," he asserted firmly, his eyes unwavering.
"Then why would someone like me mean anything to you?" You shook your head, your insecurities bubbling over.
"What are you talking about?" Confusion flickered across his features.
"Yorozu and Uraume... they understand your world. I don't know anything. I'm just an outsider."
"That doesn't have any relevance to us," his scowl deepening, "You do not need to understand my world, nor do I require you to, in order to be by my side."
"But I want to understand, can't you see? So much time was lost between us... I want to know you—I don't want to be left in ignorance. I want to know everything about the man I love!"
Love. The word struck Sukuna like lightning. Your words reverberated through his entire being.
It was the first time he had ever heard you openly profess your love. He had always known the depths of your affection towards him; it was evident in the way you looked at him. Even now, as you grappled with your inner turmoil, with the tears that flowed down your face, the warmth and clarity in your eyes remained unchanged when you looked at him. It stirred something within him, making his chest feel tight.
"I'm afraid that I'm holding you back, Ryo," you sniffled. "I want to be good enough for you."
"You must banish those thoughts of inadequacy, flower," he urged.
"I... I don't know if I can," you let out a bitter chuckle.
"Had I not made it clear enough how much you mean to me?"
"You’re so close yet so far out of reach, Ryo," you quietly confessed, fidgeting with your fingers. "I want to know you, but whenever I ask, you don't let me in. Would you have ever told me about Yorozu had she not come knocking on the door today?"
"My relationship with her has always been transactional. It’s not the same as ours—"
"It was obvious that she didn't see you as a mere transaction if she could come all this way to find you," you retorted.
"And it's not just Yorozu," you sighed, shaking your head. "If I am to be by your side, I wish there won’t be secrets between us. I don’t want to wake up one day to find out that I’ve been living a lie, like what happened in the village."
"I will never cast you away. Don’t dwell on the past, flower," he said, holding your face with both his hands, his other pair of arms wrapped around your waist. "We will make up for lost time; I promised you."
Silence filled the crisp forest air as you looked into his crimson eyes, his gaze pleading for your faith in him.
"I can endure being scorned and abandoned by my village, but I can’t bear the thought of losing you again, Ryo," your words wavered with emotion, "I wish it could stay like this forever, just the three of us."
"Then let it be the three of us. You need only to say it, and it will be done," his voice was gentle yet firm.
"I suppose the more I spend time with you the greedier and more selfish I become," you whispered with a hint of sadness, "It’s not enough for me to just simply be by your side, I want to be worthy and irreplaceable—"
Sukuna silenced you as his lips fervently crashed onto yours, pulling you close into a fiery, protective embrace. Your eyes widened in surprise at his sudden action, but you understood the message he was trying to convey. You closed your eyes, slowly surrendering yourself to him.
---
Sukuna was never one for fanciful words or frivolous small talk; in fact, he loathed them. He was a man of action, having always had to fight to earn his worth and survive. Now, more than ever, he was determined to show you, through his body, just how much you meant to him. If it took him every night to convince you, then that was precisely what he would do—not that he minded in the slightest.
In the confines of your shared chamber, Sukuna had you pinned against the wooden wall, his stare intense with desire.
"I will never cast you away," he growled, his breath hot against your skin as he nipped at your neck, trailing possessively down your body. "You're mine—a treasure that I dared not covet for the longest time."
He paused, his eyes searching yours. "Do you know why?"
You shook your head.
"Because you are too good for me. You deserved a better life, so I tried to stay way," he quietly confessed. "But now that I have you, I am the one afraid that you will come to realize it and leave."
You felt your heart skip a beat at his words, a pang of guilt washing over you as you recalled how you had often resented him for keeping his distance all these years. The missing pieces were slowly falling into place.
"It's true, Uraume and Yorozu understand the life I've led and the darkness that follows it." He said lowly as he continued pecking at your collarbone.
"You will never fill their role, but you must understand that they will never fill yours."
Confusion creased your brow. "I… don't understand," you admitted.
Sukuna sighed, lifting your chin with his hand to meet his burning gaze. "You are an intelligent woman, so it seems to me that you are just reluctant to understand."
"T-that's not true," you protested.
"Then remember this," he said, his thumb gently brushing your cheek. "Youare my most cherished, my light amidst the darkness. You bring a warmth and clarity that I never want to be without."
The vulnerability in his confession stole your breath away, and caused your chest to tighten with a mix of emotions. You swallowed, a lump forming in your throat. You sometimes forget how eloquent he could be given his usual stoicism, but that only gave you all the more confidence that his words were genuine. It seemed that only you were privy to this side of him, he trusted you with his heart. A warmth spread throughout your body at this realization. Leaning in, you placed a soft kiss on his lips, expressing your unspoken understanding.
"I... I will never leave you, Ryo," you whispered, your eyes soft with affection as you placed your hands on his chest. You could feel his clothed arousal pressing against you.
"Then know that neither will I," he vowed.
Without further delay, Sukuna stripped off your clothes and discarded his own. He hoisted you up against the wall, ready to plunge himself into you. But this time, you decided to step out of your comfort zone.
"W-wait, Ryo," your eyes timidly pleaded. "Let me..."
A dark amusement crossed his features, recognizing your newfound boldness. He complied, setting you down gently on the floor. You guided him to the bed, your movements shy yet purposeful. Kneeling before him, you reached out, your hands trembling slightly as you took hold of his length. It was hot and rigid, his veins pulsated, and the tip glistened—leaking with arousal.
You pumped your hand up and down his shaft a few times before wrapping your lips around his tip, eliciting a sharp hiss from him. Looking up, you sought for reassurance, unsure if he enjoyed it. This was your first time trying to please him this way, but tonight, you were driven by a possessive urge to pleasure him as he had so often done for you.
His fingers threaded through your hair, firmly directing you. "Take your time," he whispered, his voice thick with lust. "Use your tongue."
You hummed in response, the vibration and your breath making him twitch. Slowly, you took him into your mouth, your lips gliding along his length. His hips bucked gently, his breath catching as you explored him with your mouth. "There, that's the spot," he urged, his fingers tightening in your hair.
Encouraged by his reaction, you continued your explorations, your tongue swirling and teasing. You hollowed your cheeks, taking him deeper, while your hands caressed his thighs. He groaned, his head falling back, his fingers tangling in your hair as he guided your pace. "Faster, flower," he rasped. "Deeper."
You obliged, his satisfied purrs fueling your boldness. You took him in deeply, slightly gagging as you tried to relax your throat to accommodate his girth. He shuddered, his hips moving in rhythm with your mouth. "Ngh—just like that," he grated, his fingers tightening further.
The pleasure coiled tightly within him, his arousal peaking. His breath quickened, and his hips stuttered. "Take it," he growled, his fingers fisting in your hair. "Every last drop."
With a final, intense movement, he found his release, his essence flooding your mouth. You savored the taste of him, feeling immense satisfaction in bringing him to ecstasy. He fell back against the bed, his chest heaving, his eyes burning with intensity as he looked at you.
As he slid his member out a trail of fluid escaped the corner of your lips. He takes his fingers to wipe it clean, sticking it back into your mouth. Instinctively, you suck his fingers clean, and Sukuna feels himself harden at the sight once more. Driven by his fervent desire, he swiftly picked you up and carried you towards the hot spring.
Sukuna had you pinned against the side of the hot spring, his lips trailing down your spine while his hands roamed possessively over your body. One pair of hands kneaded your breasts, plucking at your nipples, drawing wanton moans from your throat. You threw your head back, your body trembling with each touch.
You whimpered softly as he hoisted you up, your toes barely brushing the ground. The buoyancy of the water supported your weight, allowing you to stabilize yourself on the edge of the spring. Before you could catch your breath, he thrust himself inside you, filling you completely.
"Ah—Ryo!" you cried out, your body arching at the delicious stretch. His length reached places within you that made your head spin.
His pace was relentless and rough, his hips continuously slamming against yours. "Take it all," he growled, his fingers digging into your hips. "I want to feel you around me."
"You're too deep," you gasped, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Your arms shook as you tried to keep yourself upright. "Please, Ryo—"
He showed no signs of slowing, there was an air of unrestrained desire. You slip and lose balance as he continued to mercilessly pound you, but he catches you and wraps your frame in his strong arms. Each thrust was purposeful and deliberate, as if he had channeled all his unspoken words into his body language instead.
His relentless thrusts drove you to the edge, your body trembling with the force of your pleasure. "I-I'm close" your voice rasped with need.
"Then come undone for me." He growled in response, his pace becoming more urgent.
His fingers found your sensitive bundle of nerves, sending sparks through your body. You cried out his name as your release washed over you, your walls clenching tightly around him.
With a fierce growl, he found his own release, his hot seeds flooding into you. He thrust into you deeply, burying himself as far as he could go. His breath hitched, his body trembling as he rode out his climax.
"My flower," he whispered, his lips pressing a kiss to your shoulder.
You turned your head, capturing his lips. Your tongues tangled together, tasting each other intimately. He held you tightly, his arms banded around you—as if you would slip away. "Stay with me, always," he murmured, his eyes burning with intensity.
Your heart hammered in your chest, your body still quivering with aftershocks. "I want to stay like this forever," you smiled. "Just like this."
---
The first rays of dawn peered into the room as you lay there, your eyes glazed over, and your body beyond spent. You had only managed to fade in and out of slumber. Sukuna was fast asleep, still inside you; every small movement made you twitch from the sensitivity. He had taken you in every position and spot possible until morning broke.
All the unspoken words and promises exchanged during the night reflected the depth of his feelings—a window into his heart. The two of you were inexorably bound.
His promises echoed in your mind, soothing your previous doubts. You decided, once and for all, to abandon the negative thoughts and cherish the present and the future you had together. For loving and understanding someone was a natural process that did not always require words.
Writing © xechu - please do not redistribute, translate, or repost any of my works.
Taglist: @paradisestarfishh @ssetsuka @qardasngan @ccazimi
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mild suggestive themes, mentions of violence, smoking, drinking, swearing, 18+ blog mdni, fem!reader, from the same au as my one shot: “Warm on a Cold Night”
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who is the embodiment of a red flag that BookTok would have gladly ate up. 6'5", muscular, tattoos, bikes, and (slightly) unhinged.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who has a long standing fwb relationship with his college friend: Yorozu. They're both the live fast, die young type.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who owns a reputable garage with Jin. Jin is more of the business and customer facing guy, while Sukuna gladly worked behind the scenes and did the technical stuff. The two of them make the perfect team.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who was into the fast life: bikes, cars, drinking, smoking, and lots of women. His personal life may be chaotic, but he made sure that doesn’t trickle into his work—it’s his pride and safe space
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who felt like he owed a lot to Jin. Sukuna was not the kindest to him when they were younger. Seeing how close they are now, it was hard to believe that the two were practically estranged in the past.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who was sentenced to a few years in jail after nearly beating someone with an inch of their life left. It was a business deal gone bad, and Jin was willing to take the loss in order to cut ties with the man. But the man went crazy and confronted Jin in the garage, things turned physical real quick, and that's when Sukuna stepped in.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - when he was released from prison was picked up by Jin and Kaori, and a new face: his three year old nephew, Yuji. Yuji looks more like Sukuna than Jin, and that has often caused a lot of awkward misunderstanding, especially when the four were together.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who saw you in an elevator, going up to the 21st floor, while he was visiting Jin and Kaori on the 29th floor. You (unknowingly) made him nervous.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who actually owns the unit on the 29th floor that Jin and Kaori lives in, but because of that one altercation with the psycho - Sukuna told them to move into his spare apartment until everything has blown over.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who sees you again near your apartment. Some guy was trying to get your contact and you seemed uncomfortable, so Sukuna stepped in. Truth be told, he normally wouldn't give it a second thought, but it was the "cutie who lives on the 21st floor". It didn't take much, Sukuna simply scowled at the man and he fled.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who took this as a divine intervention and asked you for your number. You awkwardly said no and scurried away, which really turned him on.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who was minding his own business in the garage one day, when he heard a familiar voice chatting with Jin at the front desk. He glanced over and it was you. Your car had broken down and their garage was the closest one.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who casually leans by the office doorway where you and Jin were chatting, he could never forget the surprised look on your face when the two of you made eye contact. Jin gives his usual introduction and spiel of the garage for their new customers, and he found it weird that Sukuna was loitering around for that (Sukuna usually never cared about it). It later dawned on Jin that Sukuna had the biggest crush on you.
ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who sees you again when you pick up your car. Your car was rather old school, and he nicknamed it 'grannie', which initially irked you (but that was his way of teasing). Then, to your surprise, when you got into the car - there was a newly upgraded stereo system installed. He smirked when he saw the pure shock on your face, knowing that you loved it. It was worth it, because he got your number out of this, and the rest was history.
a/n: this has been sitting on my drafts for a long time (oops). I'm thinking of writing another one shot in the same au.
#jjk reactions#jjk headcanons#jjk fanfic#jjk fanworks#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk x you#ryomen sukuna x y/n#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen x reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fic#jjk oneshot#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fic#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen fandom
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MDNI BANNERS | gold + black.
( requested by → @frosts-intuition )
i guess you can consider this as an addition to my gold + beige mdni set? :D
i wanted to evoke more of a royal-feel to the colours rather than just simple black and gold. hopefully that came across. please enjoy 〜
please like, reblog, and credit 〜
support me through ko-fi | more mdni banners →
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