#i literally cant-
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me when the SAME FUCKING THING HAPPENED AGAIN
#biseuxal#queer#lgbt#help i accidentally started crushing (not the right word but there isnt a better one) on someone in my workplace#AGAIN >:(#AND SHE IS MY MANAGER IM GONNA THROW MYSELF OFF A BUILDING😭#i literally cant-#believe you me i would die of shame if anyone knew#honestly its making me mad i wish my brain wouldnt do this-#bi wlw#wlw advice#nblw#nonbinary#if you listen closely you can hear me screaming in agony
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the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot
#like literally every time ive hesitated sending a text or complimenting someone or stuff ive thought of it#like youre right. what if i played it a little risky what do i have to lose in doing a nice thing!!!!!! ur so right!!!!!!!!#but its forever lost cos i cant search it with any words cause its an image#misery and pain. you know how it is#my post
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ‘if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like ‘i dont think ppl will recognize them’.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gang’s deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame#gray voice
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The amount of anime screenshots I stared at for this one a;dslkfsa;lk
Obligatory click for better quality.
Many thanks to @ashoss for helping me keep my sanity while I was working on this one. Couldn't have done it without them!
Meme reference and clean versions under cut
If you haven't seen The Good Place yet, you definitely should.
I just wanna show this panel off. I put WAY too much effort in it, but I don't regret it :3c
#dreamer doodles#batman#batfam#batfamily#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#i'm gonna go pass out now#so fucking happy i'm DONE with this one#i can finally know peace#i know this looks messy#but I literally cant work on this anymore#pfffttt
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goddamnb!!
chill out man!!!
#zuko#zuko atla#atla#avatar the last airbender#the blue spirit#i cant tell if i loved or hated the process of this drawing#pike art#also i loveddd all the blue spirit stuff literally so awsome#need to draw blue spirit stuff more often#edited because i realized it was slightly off center and that made me so upset to look at
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While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.
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Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.
the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)
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Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:
Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?
Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:
Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???
Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?
Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!
Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now
Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that
Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?
[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]
Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.
Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)
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And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.
#jason: are you sure your boss wont be mad?#jeremy: he's only mad like 50% of the time im sure we'll be fine#jeremy: also we hate working for him.#jason todd absolutely treats his employees well u cant convince me otherwise#dick after the mission: the HELL was that??#jason fondly: just my goon children. im so proud of them for moving onto weapons trade instead of drug dealing :)#dick: that man was older than you. pretty sure most of them were older than BRUCE#jason: dont disrespect my family like that.#dick: Jason IM your family. i was literally held at knifepoint during your little reunion and you did NOTHING#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batbros#dc comics#incorrect quotes#headcanon#crack#fanatical posting
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DEAD BY DAYLIGHT WAS FIRST IN LINE……
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf#trapper dbd#dead by daylight#Fortnite#fall guys#jonesy fortnite#GUYS I CANT BELIEVE THIS#HUGE HUGE#SPRINGTRAP IN DBD IS ABOUT TO BE SO REAL#literally drew this lil thing as fast as I could 😭😭#SHOUT OUT TO DBD LIKERS#ILL BE DRAWING SO MUCH OF THAT IN THE NEAR FUTURE#I HOPE YALL ARE READY#guys how was I right in my other comic that trapper was first in line#i saw the future
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finally watched Reign of the Supermen
#kon is three apples tall.... good luck getting anyone to call you superman when you look like you should be in middle school#the second pic was inspired by that scene where lois is on the phone w steel and kon is peeking over her shoulder#superboy#conner kent#john henry irons#man of steel#lois lane#reign of the supermen#rots was fun bc i knew kon and steels situations but had no idea what visor and cyborg supes had going on#so i was like IS it him...? no.... it cant be....#it was funny when he was like please. just call me superman.#like even if he was the actual genuine clark kent back as a cyborg bbgirl youre not going to shake 'cyborg superman'#superman#digital art#comic#comics#dcamu#dc#dc comics#2024#id in alt#also why is lois dressed like asami in the finale#and for the record steel is the most respectable of the titular supermen cause like#he wasnt trying to pass himself off as clark he was literally just a dude who was inspired to be a clearly separate superhero#i mean you could make a claim of copyright infringement cause of the S but in his defense it was a symbol of hope & clark was dead sooo
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hey got some important news. the affordable connectivity program that helps poor and disabled people afford internet is going to run out of funding by april 2024 if we can't convince congress to renew it
i know emailing and calling politicians often seems like a waste of time, but this is gonna hurt alot of people (myself included) if this program is allowed to disappear. we really need to raise some awareness and get this program the funding that it needs. ACP is a game changer for literally millions of people. this is the only way many homes can even get internet, and in this day and age internet access is pretty much a necessity for almost everything. its gonna be a huge blow to have this vital program taken away from those who depend on it.
#id appreciate a signal boost on this post cause we really need to get this program secured#i literally dont know what im going to do without it#i really cant stress how big of a deal this is
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comfort food.
(greyscale below!)
aaaaa. iii needed to make something self indulgent!!!! and for me that means drawing Bonnie and also putting a frankly stupid amount of work into rendering food!! outside of the onigiri and spaghetti (kind of), most of these were firsts for me and GOD im so happy with the results. i’ve seen a few people say that my art makes them hungry teehee. i hope this illicits the same reaction! please enjoy :3
here’s the greyscale version!! iii don’t think it’s As Appetizing as the colored version and the values are a little messy but! it exist !
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#aaaaa. something something making art to spite it all#i got. weirdly motivated? i literally started working on this Today and it’s done already! woah!#sorry again for being so inactive this past month? kinda just been getting hit with a Mountain of Life Events. alas!#but hey! now i have a lovingly rendered salmon steak#<- sorry isa used that phrasing for it and i cant get over it#said in the same cadence as lightly fried fish fillet#there isn’t really a lot of thought put into this? i honest to god just wanted an excuse to draw food. because its comforting 🩶
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JAYCES HAND CUPPING VIKTORS NECK OH MY GOD I NEED TO DIE
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane act three#arcane act 3#viktor#viktor arcane#jayce talis#jayce#jayvik#jayvik you have moved me#oh my god#soulmates#literal soulmates#i hate gay people#gay ppl and their situationships#i hate them (affectionate)#i just died#i lobe you jayvik#i love you so much#did i mention i love jayvik#meant for eachother#i never doubted you jayce#jayvik canon#arcane thank you so much#arcane spoilers#why are gay people so tragic#they make me sick#they were so insane for this#guys i cant process this#what the fuck
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Iconography
#artistic nudity#trans#These two literally make me so sick i cant stop thinking abiut them😭#how are you that transgender how did they do it#roxy lalonde#dirk strider#my art#zan0tix#I am writing a poem about them let me cook#how crazy is it that they canonically chose their names pronouns and gender presentation guys.#scratching my butt
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THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG
#THE REVUES. THE REVUES. THE REVUES#DOES ANYONE HEAR THAT OMINOUS STAR DIVINE TOLLING.#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#nene kusanagi#emunene#NENE5#SAVE ME NENE5#the song is awesome the 2dmv is incredible and my EMUNENE TAKAKRAZUKA SWORDS I CANT FUKCING BELIEVE IT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS MY LIIIFW#ok i have animation in literally 6 hours and i need to sleep so bad farewell.#in stars n time birthday .. i have a siffrin i drew today. and i also drew emu crushing them with a hammer
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I see you, you see me. How pleasant, this feeling.
#song is after dark by mr kitty#my art#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba#jotakak#noritaro#noriaki kakyoin#jotaro kujo#mullet and piercings jotaro u think ur cool#i wanted this to feel very moody#ask me abt my jotakak headcanons :) i am very opinionated#jotaro called kakyoin ok he misses him. hes updating him on the teenagers#also theyre talking about cigarettes#noriaki “if dio and a literal serial killer cant kill us the cigarettes will” kakyoin
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even if I came to love humanity in the end, there’s no proof I was ever here, right?
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#my art#slow downer lyrics..i am applying them to dokja#please..i cant put the entire song lyrics but my god#'i called out an incoherent name in this new old world'#'i loiter in paradise the hope i was accustomed to blocked off my path of retreat'#literally agonised me#maybe this doesnt even make sense#the yjhs standing on the subway yellow lines overlooking the edge#but i kinda lost the plot here#its ok#havent even finished orv yet but whenever i think about the very concept of dokja i lowkey kms in my head for 80000 years#also 52hz's 'a dreamless sleep'#i guess just the sense of being untethered to the world with just this one thing keeping you still here#hits me hard#wait i linked the original slow downer version but obviously (see username) the niigo one is leagues better
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