#i just wanna die

[scramratz]

Missed this week's tshot. How the hell did I live like this before? This body is a prison and my brain gives no reprieve

[syn-ch]

i'm so ready to fucking d1e

[p4inkllr]

Me lately

[justxdemixokay]

░S░t░o░p░ ░c░u░z░ ░w░h░y░ ░a░r░e░ ░t░h░e░s░e░ ░m░y░ ░f░a░v░o░r░i░t░e░ ░b░l░o░g░g░e░r░s░ ░e░v░e░r░?░?░?

@the-real-loser-otaku-girl

@ghostyypawzz

@l4ndm1ne

@jiraiema

@wtfuglydevil

@hayweee

@str4wb3rriesz

@underweightcvnt

Like you guys make my day SM better 💖💖

[revolvingdoorwhore]

Gotta love lying to my medical team. Yes I'm doing well, no im not restricting, yes I'm sleeping good, no I don't have a plan or intent

[theunattainable]

I always fuck shit up..

[leviiackrman]

I have got yet another fuckin infection.

[smokingawaymysorrows]

I've been thinking about suicide a lot more than usual.

[jacksonthereaper]

TW// Suicidal thoughts, mental exhaustion, lack of self worth

Doubt anyone's gonna see this but fuck it i might as well drop this in here

I'm so tired

I'm 15 years old male in 10th grade and i'm just so tired of everything. Tired of doing so much and putting in all the effort i can only to be criticized at the slightest mistake, tired of always trying so hard to be nice to others yet only being noticed when i'm rude or doing something bad or embarrassing, tired of this garbage world filled with wars, pollution, genocide, hunger, poverty, discrimination, disease, etc.

I feel like i'm losing more and more motivation with each and every single day that passes, beit for doing things i like, things i don't like, things i have to do, etc. I'm not particularly angry or sad or scared or frustrated, i guess i'm a little melancholic but overall i'm just exhausted, numb, and, most of all, bitter.

I still feel some amount of joy, but it feels so vain and empty. I eat something delicious, i listen to some music, i watch something funny on YouTube, on TV, etc., then i go right back to my misery. I just want someone to hear me calling for help. I just want to feel like someone actually gives a flying fuck about what i have to say, or wants me to feel better, or even just cares about my existence at all.

I don't even know anymore man. I'm just running out of options. I'm probably just experiencing burnout, which coupled with the fact i live in what is essentially a small village in the middle of nowhere, really just makes me feel hopeless.

Fuck this shit, man.

[guildedguilt]

Doesn’t matter, nothing matters, I don’t matter. I should just kill myself.

[therealsawako]

Night does change , maybe a little too much

I remember last year, I suddenly saw I weighed 50 kg. My world shattered, two years of 3d for this?

Then it was 48-50 for two months, a hell, only shifting and never settling.

My high achiever mindset went out of the window.

I tried triggering my 3d, a lot, nothing worked and I kept on gaining weight.

Then girls around me started their honeymoon phases.

And I realised I'll never be happy again.

Low weight or high weight, I've lost the ability to be happy completely.

I listened to subliminals and they all had "Twilight soundtrack" and to trigger myself, I read "winter girls"

The me who used to study at night went to bed early. But failed to sleep. And when I felt everyone out, I sat in my living room, looking out to the main roads where heavy trucks went on and on, making terrible sounds.

And I read wintergirls, with the twilight soundtrack in my ears.

Winter, it's a season that always pains me. And I never had a single winter without an ed.

Yet I thought I was sad last year, it was nothing. Losing my academic achievement, losing my entire memory out of depression, gaining more and more weight, parents growing frustrations about my grades, my "friends" sudden change of attitude due to my losing beauty and not being the center of buzz anymore.

Life sucks.

[inoriemiko]

Chat I messed up.

I just got off a call with my fp and I lost all courage to tell hho\ive been feeling when he told me what he did for Halloween. Why am I like this? I also over shared, again!! I think I'm catching feels again and I hate it. I wanted to ask a question before the call ended but didn't have the courage to.

I'm actually going to kms soon cause wth? My heart is dead set on labelling him evil and manipulative (ALLEGEDLY PLS, HE MOST LIKELY ISN'T BUT I FEEL HE IS) but just this call was enough to melt my heart and place him back on the pedestal I managed to yeet him of? Why are my feelings so easyly tangled?!?

But what if he doesn't like me tho? Like, I'm me. I always have problems and need constant support (I'm a low support needs person) and reassurance so what would he gain being in a relationship with me?

I'm honestly getting disgusted at the idea of just me. Being me or relating with myself. But I want friends, I want a partner, I want company but I don't have the psychological capacity for anything anymore.

I'm so tired.

I want to sleep...

[justxdemixokay]

░I░ ░w░a░n░t░ ░t░o░ ░b░e░ ░a░ ░c░h░i░l░d░ ░a░g░a░i░n░

More than anything I just want to be a child again.

A small mind with an endless capacity for creativity and optimism.

I want to be held. I want to be cradled and sang to.

I want to play with toys and listen to bass Hunter nightcore.

I want to be blissfully oblivious to life's terrors.

I want to be cheered on for something as simple as knowing my alphabet.

I want to play call of duty with my brothers.

I want to do so many things for the first time again.

I want to spend my nights watching Tokyo mew mew and glitter force.

Scared senseless by shitty poorly written creepypastas.

I just want to go back to when things were simpler..sweeter..but now it's never coming back..ever..and all I'm left with is the memories

[our-end-is-so-near]

I wish I could translate my fics into English

I mean technically I'm able to, but I can't

Maybe people will try to read my fics if they will be in English. But if it isn't because of the language trouble I don't even know why am I let myself to write something at all

Is it really that boring? I don't know. I know I'm boring, so maybe it is

[indicamoon]

When will I heal?

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

feel like i’m genuinely losing my mind bc what am i even doing my brain feels so so wrong n i’m so tired n i have no time before uni to just enjoy stuff n i have no motivation to do anything i want to and i don’t go out or do anything n i’m so miserable as is nvm going back to uni i actually just feel nothing but misery i’m so sick of it

like i don’t understand how ppl have fulfilling relationships with others , go to uni and feel motivated n good about it and do well , who work , have time to themselves as well as going out

like i can’t even just exist with no responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed and like i want to kms

my relationships w my family is shit , i ruin all my friendships and i have no other relationships

i’m failing uni embarrassingly so , the course im worst at is the whole reason i’m at uni and one of the only things i’m passionate about and i can barely even pass literally have passed only by 2 marks like

i don’t draw , i don’t read , dont play video games , don’t craft , don’t watch what i want. literally all i do is rot away

i also dont go out and everytime i go out or am around other people its horrid or i ruin it

idek how i’m supposed to go to uni so so genuinely every time i leave the house i get overwhelmed and feel sick and it’s just so horrible n exhausting n i don’t want to it’s so humiliating having to be around others and knowing they are all real people and smarter then me i just hate uni so much it makes me feel worthless

im so skint aswell otherwise id atleast buy myself stuff to feel some semblance of joy but i just cant

nothing feels good qnd i dont see the point in anything like genuinely what is even the point in anything im so spoilt and all i do is ruin stuff for myself and others then wallow in self pity

i hate myself so much i make myself sick

i’m just so tired i wanna be happy i wanna feel like a real person why am i not why can’t i just be a normal happy person