#mental exhaustion

[prayingfordemise]

Can’t wait for this shit to end

[the-apology-dance]

Post Armageddon Headcanon

I refuse to believe that Aziraphale, Crowley, or both DIDN’T get thrown into a breakdown from how mentally and emotionally exhausted they were after the fight against the four horsemen and Satan himself. Combined with their executions.

Honestly so much emotionally charged events happened leading up to what very well could’ve been the end of the world that they both just suppressed because they didn’t have the time to dwell on it.

The bandstand conversation. The bookshop fire. Aziraphale discorporated himself. Crowley seriously drove through fire. Saw how the other would die. Could’ve very well have gotten themselves killed on multiple occasions.

I wouldn’t be surprised if one (or both) of them just started sobbing on that bench in St. James’ Park as everything caught up with them.

[sunnynwanda]

Trouble of Mind: Part 1

Part 2

It's been a week. A week since Hero did something unacceptable. It wasn't exactly forbidden, more like a rule they imposed on themselves for ethical reasons. No matter how much they needed information reading Villain's mind was always out of the question.

They did it a week ago. Amidst the battle, for no particular reason. A thought had flickered behind Villain's gaze only to disappear in the dark pools. And Hero followed. Unconscious at first, an impulse that drew them in. That was the biggest mistake they had ever made. And it backfired.

Villain had no idea why they jerked away so quickly and accepted defeat just so they could escape. The contents of Villain's psyche traumatised them. The things that Hero saw inside their consciousness were disturbing, but what they found deep in Villain's unconscious mind sent reverberating waves through their body. Hero hasn't been able to sleep ever since - countless nightmares served as their only companions for seven long and lonely nights.

Hero sighs, brushing their hair back from their forehead. The sleepless nights were taking their toll on them. Dark bags had settled under their eyes, heavy with the knowledge of the secrets held in Villain's mind.

They hadn't attended to any of the challenges presented by their enemy in the week that ensued. It was not because of the lack of proper rest but rather rooted in their inability to face them after discovering things meant to be hidden. They hadn't left their house at all for the risk of running into someone they knew. Hence why the knock on their door didn't surprise them. They remained quiet for a long moment, waiting for the person to leave, and when the knocking seized, exhaled in relief and returned to their couch for another attempt of rest to turn into torment.

Except it did not. Hero lets out a content sighs, turning so that they are now lying on their back. They yawn, stretching to snap their muscles in place. It feels like a heavy burden has been lifted off of their shoulders. It's only when they try to open their eyes, that they realise something is off.

"What the f..." A hand on their chest prevents them from sitting up, then presses them back down. What the hell?

"Shh, it's just a compress," a familiar voice fills their ears, only increasing the panic. "Don't freak out."

"Villain?" Their throat goes dry. They reach for the cloth that's covering their eyes and forehead. Villain is seated by their bed with a glass of water ready.

"Drink this," Hero shakes their head, propping themselves up against the headboard. With a sigh, Villain takes a sip. "See? It's not poisoned. Just drink it, it'll help."

"What are you doing here?" And what am I doing here? They could bet they were on the couch a few minutes ago. How did Villain get into their apartment and move them without them waking up?

"Helping you deal with the consequences of your own actions," despite the sarcastic tone - Villain seems genuine in their concern. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Pardon?" They jolt, almost jumping in place. No one knew Hero had that ability. Villain couldn't possibly know. Right?

"You shouldn't have read my mind, babe." Hero's eyes widen in shock. Villain shrugs nonchalantly, taking the cloth from their hand. "My past is too much to handle even for myself."

"How did you..?" A million questions are circling in Hero's head, yet they cannot form a single full sentence.

"Gosh, for a mind reader, you are quite dense," Villain shakes their head, then presses a palm against Hero's burning forehead. Their fingers are gentle and cold, Hero almost leans into their touch. "Did you think I wouldn't feel you in my head?"

"I-I'm sorry," their heartbeat is accelerating, which doesn't help the fever, so they take a deep breath, attempting to steady themselves. "I really am. I didn't mean for it to happen."

"I know." Villain dips the compress into a bowl of ice water, then brushes Hero's hair back, wiping their forehead and temples. Hero lets out a content sigh, allowing their eyes to fall shut. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"What for?" They can feel the cloth against the bridge of their nose, then right behind their right ear.

"Help, obviously," Villain tilts their head for better access. "When was the last time you slept?"

"You know the answer to that," is all they can muster, their body relaxed under gentle touches. Villain nods, ignoring the fact that Hero's eyes are closed.

"Put a cold compress on your forehead and ice cubes on your pulse points - that helps." They stop their manipulations, and Hero has to stop themselves from huffing in complaint. Instead, they open their eyes to look at Villain. "I use essential oils and sleep in complete darkness when it gets bad."

"Do you have them often?" Hero's voice is barely above a whisper, but Villain hears.

They nod with a heavy sigh and focus their gaze on Hero's ear, which is crimson red. They wonder if it's a reaction to the cold or their touch. "That's what failed brainwashing does to you, babe."

Hero freezes for a second. When they finally speak, their voice is coarse. "I'm sorry."

Villain offers them a quiet smile before getting up. "Come find me if you still can't rest," they say over their shoulder and vanish before Hero has a chance to thank them.

Hero knows they've made a mistake. A mistake that makes it hard to breathe and almost impossible to sleep. One that led them into the dreams and nightmares of their nemesis. One that gave them a chance to repair the damage they've unearthed and - potentially - heal Villain's troubled mind.

They know they've made a mistake, so when the sun begins to set on the horizon, they knock on Villain's door.

Part 2

Masterlist

[moomatahiko]

floating

[thebpdcrybaby]

The depression must be starting again because I'm only excited about going to bed at night. And I'm fighting against it which is making me mentally exhausted.

[sleeplessv0id]

"Oh, don't panic! Stop panicking over stupid shit." "Why are you freaking out," I have a panic disorder. It's in the name, you want me to spell it out for you?

P-A-N-I-C D-I-S-O-R-D-E-R

sudden UNCONTROLLABLE fear or anxiety!

Coming home from an amazing time with friends, only to end up having a panic attack as soon as I reach my room--no trigger or anything. It feels like when I was overdosing all over again, and that night was one of the most traumatic. Which does nothing to help me calm my racing heart because I'm running through my head WHAT I could be overdosing on when the only things I've taken that day were my meds. Irrational thinking.

Pair that with a personality disorder and heavy C-PTSD, and you have yourself a self-destructive bomb made of nails that you never know when it'll go off

[crps-chronicpain-ptsd]

Chronic pain problems •

[the-lady-maddy]

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[bxnnybb]

⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⟡

ᴍɪssɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ɪɴ ᴡᴀᴠᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴅʀᴏᴡɴɪɴɢ.

⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⟡

[skinwalkee]

i’m going to be skinny and sexy by summer.

i’m going to be skinny and sexy by summer.

i’m going to be skinny and sexy by summer.

i’m going to be skinny and sexy by summer.

i’m going to be skinny and sexy by summer.

i’m going to be skinny and sexy by summer.

i’m going to be skinny and sexy by summer.

i’m going to be skinny and sexy by summer.

i’m going to be skinny and sexy by summer.

[jacksonthereaper]

TW// Suicidal thoughts, mental exhaustion, lack of self worth

Doubt anyone's gonna see this but fuck it i might as well drop this in here

I'm so tired

I'm 15 years old male in 10th grade and i'm just so tired of everything. Tired of doing so much and putting in all the effort i can only to be criticized at the slightest mistake, tired of always trying so hard to be nice to others yet only being noticed when i'm rude or doing something bad or embarrassing, tired of this garbage world filled with wars, pollution, genocide, hunger, poverty, discrimination, disease, etc.

I feel like i'm losing more and more motivation with each and every single day that passes, beit for doing things i like, things i don't like, things i have to do, etc. I'm not particularly angry or sad or scared or frustrated, i guess i'm a little melancholic but overall i'm just exhausted, numb, and, most of all, bitter.

I still feel some amount of joy, but it feels so vain and empty. I eat something delicious, i listen to some music, i watch something funny on YouTube, on TV, etc., then i go right back to my misery. I just want someone to hear me calling for help. I just want to feel like someone actually gives a flying fuck about what i have to say, or wants me to feel better, or even just cares about my existence at all.

I don't even know anymore man. I'm just running out of options. I'm probably just experiencing burnout, which coupled with the fact i live in what is essentially a small village in the middle of nowhere, really just makes me feel hopeless.

Fuck this shit, man.

[prayingfordemise]

FUCK THIS PLACE, FUCK EVERYTHING, FUCK EVERYONE, I HATE EVERYTHING. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING DIE OMG

[nah-thanks-m8]

Okay, rant time

We can never beat ableism by acting like we have no control over ourselves and our actions.

I am so tired and I put in so much effort over the years to find coping mechanisms and tools to help me get through life because I know that this world is going to have places that, for whatever reason, can’t accommodate me.

I also know that it is selfish of me to expect that behavior of others around me, who also have needs, 100% of the time. My shit doesn’t always come before theirs, and conversely, their shit doesn’t always come before mine.

I will hear people, a lot on this app, complain about having things like time blindness, or constant distraction, and I’ll be like “yeah man I’ve been there and I totally get it, would you like to know some things I do to help?” And they’re like “fuck you, you’re trying to change who I am!!1!1”

It creates such a victim complex, and further exacerbates already debilitating symptoms by convincing you that you are incapable of doing things that you might be able to do, or at least work around.

“I have [fill in blank] so I can’t do anything ever and shouldn’t be expected to lolololol” is so different than “Hey, I’m having a really bad [fill in blank] day and could use some help to do things” or “ I’m having such a bad time with [fill in blank] that I can’t do things right now I’ll get to it when I am feeling better” and then actually getting around to doing it eventually (or at least meaning to). These people are part of the reason the accommodations my friends and I need aren’t taken seriously.

This is not an attack, and I’m not trying to be ableist. Just a rant because I’m tired to not being taken seriously because of people infantilizing and/or not believing me because of this mentality.

[jarsarahere]

I feel like I gave up in life already. I can’t even use my energy to form thoughts anymore. It’s exhausting.

[grinly]

"I'm tired"

But which type of tired are you?

Sleepy (not enough bed time lately, can also happen with plenty of sleeppaired with a medical condition.)

Emotional (depressed, empty.)

Muscle tired (moved too much heavy.)

Pain tired (it hurts and it's too much.)

Mental tired (can do things but thinking is hard, possibly feeling overloaded or over stimulated.)

Social tired (too much peopleing.)

Soul exhaustion (multiple and/or all of the above, deep and abiding exhaustion that dosen't fit into above categories, a lack of meaning.)

There are many types of tired, and many reasons for the same type of tired.

(Sleepy narcoleptics have a very different time then someone who is sleepy because they spent too much time out the night before. Mental tiredness from working hard at an office job is very different from someone with ADD simply facing too much input all the time.)

There are degrees and reasons, but which type of tired matters a lot. If I missed a term let me know, and try to spread use and awareness - it would help a lot of people if this caught on enough that psychiatrists started asking what kind of tired people are.

[blueskiesandwindchimes]

A Few Days Later...

This is how the last few days have been going for me...

I recognize she's very toxic. I won't answer any "questions" she has again. Makes me realize even more how sad it is that I help others for a living to reconcile with loved ones and gain perspective and I can't do it in my own family. Probably the biggest reason why I chose my profession after all.

Seriously ready for this month to end. I'm ready for those September vibes!