#perimenopause

[jadedbirch]

Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:

- shorter time between periods

- irregular periods

- hot flashes and/or cold flashes

- fucked up sleep

- OMG NIGHT SWEATS

- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert

- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants

- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times

This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.

Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:

- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.

- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.

- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.

- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.

- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀

- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)

- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).

I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.

Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)

Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!

[cleoselene]

in a comment with my ol' pal @elon-musks-disrespectful-nipples I bemoaned the fact that no one really warned me how fucking shitty perimenopause would be

like I got plenty of warnings from lots of women and girls about my period but LADIES we are falling down on warning women about perimenopause

I didn't have migraine headaches before perimenopause. Oh, I got headaches. Bad ones, even. BUT NOT MIGRAINES!

Hot flashes feel like they come from the inside of your soul, btw. You can try to stick your head in a freezer or stand under an air conditioning vent, but until it passes, NOTHING will make you feel cool and comfortable.

I had some wicked PMDD in the first couple of years but that has THANKFULLY passed as my periods become less of a thing

feel free anyone to reblog and add your perimenopausal nightmares to warn your good sisters what might be coming

[cleolinda]

Excited to announce that I have been dealing with some kind of mysterious neck strain with absolutely no cause for the last two days, and it has finally occurred to me that it could be a silent migraine symptom (“silent” migraine in that it doesn’t feel like a headache, it’s just all the other side symptoms). Extra fun: I’ve had a lot of stress or weather headaches in my life, but I don’t think I had silent migraines until after perimenopause started last year. (Please refer to my discussion of pre-menopause hot flashes, cold sweats, and itchy eardrums here.) I am absolutely disgusted with human existence and will be applying migraine meds and an ice pack after lunch.

[chadots]

Everyone should receive a guide at age 39 to prepare themselves and their loved ones for the absolute absurdity of perimenopause. I’ll get it started:

Has your personal temperature has lost all contact with reality?

Can you not fall asleep because your feet feel dry?

Do certain smells make you inexplicably angry?

Congratulations! You’re perimenopausal. Don’t worry. It only lasts 4 to 10 years.

[allhailthe70shousewife]

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND I AM NOT GIVING ADVICE. I am perimenopausal and I read that alcohol can make perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms worse. I was drinking maybe 1/2 a beer to 3 beers a week. I decided to stop all alcohol and see what happened. I feel better. I realized I had been experiencing horrible hangovers from sharing one beer with my husband. It’s like even small amounts of booze just made feel poisoned. (I still smoke the same amount of weed.) So if you are perimenopausal or menopausal and having a rough go please talk to your doctor about what you can do to make it easier on you.

[iamveryold]

Harry Potter, specifically Dramione, fanfics are my midlife crisis. Going through perimenopause and wanting to cry every 37 seconds is so confusing. Is it my kids? My parents? My job? My attachment to fictional characters?… that is making me cry in public? Who knows? I wish I had real life friends who read what I read, I need someone to talk to about this stuff!!!!

Edit to add: Narcissa just told Draco “I’m proud of you” at the same time as my son walked in and now I’m actually sobbing in public so…….. yay hormones?

[lamajaoscura]

"Q: What is the average age for perimenopause? The average age for perimenopause is whatever age you happen to be when you google any of the following:

What age perimenopause?

Skipped period start of menopause?

Why do I have free floating rage?

Additionally, you may have started perimenopause if you call your mother or any older woman in your life to ask her what a hot flash feels like."

[tramblr]

For the moms

[zelphafrost]

The perimenopausal urge to sequester yourself away from everyone so you stop feeling so fucking combative and angry.

[ambitionectomy]

For The Boston Globe, I drew this “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” parody. Only for perimenopause, that period (so to speak) of unanswerable questions (except by God).

[bobthemole]

Is there a Menopausal Side of Tumblr? If not, let’s get one rolling, shall we? I’m going to need advice on dealing with night sweats the way I need advice on dealing with ADHD.

[eatclean-bewhole]

Throwback to a time when I used to reach for food to deal with stress—using it as comfort when things felt overwhelming. I was carrying an extra 60 lbs and didn’t realize how much my habits were weighing me down, physically and emotionally.

Fast forward to today, and now the gym is my go-to stress release. Now, in the middle of perimenopause, I’ve found that hitting the gym and fueling my body with the right nutrition are more important than ever. Moving my body, pushing through those tough workouts, and focusing on my strength has transformed my life.

But it’s not just about the workouts—fueling my body with the right nutrition gives me the energy to show up for myself, my family, and my clients every day, both in the gym and in life.

We all have our challenges—this is how I’m navigating mine. How are you showing up for you? 💪🏽🥗

[aibidil]

I've had a vision. within 5-10 years, tons of millennials are going to be perimenopausal and every post is going to be something like

SIR, that's the pausie

[butterfly meme] is this ESTROGEN DEFICIENCY???

and omg it's the pausie

McGonagall "Why is it always you three" meme labeled low estrogen, low progesterone, low testosterone

"Why not both" memes but it's like HRT *and* contraception and everyone is crying instead of happy about the prospect of both

[virtie333]

My dresser is starting to look like a medicine cabinet. Well, I guess it always did, but it was all OTC meds before. Now there are a lot of Rx bottles. Knowing there could be two more if I feel I need them (just have to call my doctor and she'll prescribe them) makes it even more crazy. Guess I'm getting old.

Those antidepressants that I chose not to take are looking more and more appealing today...

[allhailthe70shousewife]

These hot flashes are making me rethink the Summer to Winter wardrobe changeover that I just did. It is going to be a challenging season this year.

[imaginary-wanderer]

We really need to talk more about perimenopause. We talk a bit about menopause, but menopause is the easy part of the whole process. We named the entire process "menopause" but it's actually the end of the tunnel.

Before the actual menopause comes the long, very long, period of perimenopause. People with a uterus will get through this shit (though I don't know how it works with people on T).

I'm 41 and going through this for almost almost aoud a year or so. Some symptoms are mild while others hit very hard. Brain fog and memory loss is one of the hard ones for me. I've always had a very sharp mind and now it's all confused and I forget things (short-ish term mostly). It's scary. Many "side effects" of perimenopause are scary. You're not yourself anymore, your body and your brain are betraying you. In a matter of weeks, you feel like another person. And no one is talking about it.

Perimenopause can last 10 years. TEN YEARS of being confused, in pain, of trying to understand if it's "you" or an illness or just your body going through a new natural cycle. Countless sleepless nights, hot flashes even when you're cold, migraine, extreme fatigue out of nowhere. The list is very long. If you're close to 35 years old, you should be aware of what is perimenopause and how it can affect you. Society is absolutely not made for people going through this, so daily life can be hard.