#mcsweeneys

[lamajaoscura]

"Q: What is the average age for perimenopause? The average age for perimenopause is whatever age you happen to be when you google any of the following:

What age perimenopause?

Skipped period start of menopause?

Why do I have free floating rage?

Additionally, you may have started perimenopause if you call your mother or any older woman in your life to ask her what a hot flash feels like."

[jomiddlemarch]

Of particular relevance to Tumblr:

"Pedro Pascal is America's daddy."

[brightlotusmoon]

The Louvre Is Thrilled to Announce It Is Rebranding to “UVR” - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

If there’s one thing we’ve concluded from the millions of visitors who pass through our doors every year, it’s that art is passé. Art is stale in an age of content—unlimited content you can hardwire to your cerebellum with maximum connectivity, allowing you to upload videos with your smart shoe, get a crappier version of the cable television you cut the cord on years ago, and watch reality shows transpire in real-time in reality with no scripts, no actors, no directors, no cameras, no crews, no catering, and no pesky union wages that make it impossible to hoard all the profit for yourself for work someone else did.

You see, in the future of tomorrow’s today, we’re visioneering. You can do banking with a flicker of your eye, communicate with your dead loved ones with incoherent AI that regurgitates gibberish that sounds nothing like them, and record audio with your mind before it’s swiftly forgotten unless you order our memory-enhancement supplements—be sure to sign up for a subscription, fam, for the best deal and assurance you’ll never run out, lest all your cherished memories be erased. Memories are content, and content is here for its coronation, baby. After all, we once hosted French kings, so we’re an authority in telling you there’s a new king in town, and that king is content, beautiful, sweet, sweet content—oh, content, my love, how I long for thee, how my aching loins quiver for thy sweet embrace.

[dinnickhowellslikes]

The wonderful covers of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, the literary collections that keep on going and going (thank goodness)

[iamanathemadevice]

“For example, let’s start with some basics. You know, the most common fart we encounter is typically noisy, gross, and a little scary for anyone in close proximity. And, well, this is also the first type of rudimentary racism we think about: audibly unappealing, obnoxious, usually a prompt to change locations. When expelled in the company of decent people, loud farts, or racism, will clear a room quickly. Now on the opposite end of the spectrum, but also frequently confronted, is the ‘silent but deadly’ variety of flatulence, where the smell of a fetid stink bomb makes you question the diet of people around you. Similarly, there is racism that can quietly appear out of nowhere and make you reconsider who you spend time with. Personally, I prefer loud sonorous farts, or racism, and knowing what I’m up against over the haunting, sneaky insidiousness of those quiet assassins.”

[wilkins]

My byline in the hallowed pages of McSweeney's Internet Tendency last Thursday. Truly an honor.

[infinitemonkeytheory]

[archivist-dragonfly]

Book 179

Everything That Rises: A Book of Convergences

Lawrence Weschler

McSweeney’s Books 2006

The first book by Lawrence Weschler I ever read was Mr. Wilson’s Cabinet of Wonder, which I adored. After that, I read as much by him as I could get my hands on. In retrospect, I probably should have kept my copy of Mr. Wilson’s because I have the feeling that I’m going to want to turn to it again one day. Instead, I kept this book. Basically, this book is a collection of articles, mostly published in McSweeney’s Quarterly and The New Yorker, that have unexpected connections running through them.

[jomiddlemarch]

The Starfleet Gazette will not be endorsing a candidate in the upcoming election for president of the United Federation of Planets. This decision was not made lightly, but neither of the two candidates—decorated Starship Voyager Captain Kathryn Janeway or The Borg—has shown us a real path to endorsement, and we must stay true to our priorities: journalistic integrity and not pissing off The Borg...

[cbcastro]

That's about right LOL.

Calm Down — Your Phone Isn’t Listening to Your Conversations. It’s Just Tracking Everything You Type, Every App You Use, Every Website You Visit, and Everywhere You Go in the Physical World. “So don’t even worry about it.”

[tomisokay]

I wrote a thing!!

[kalasangan]

This is the last piece of information you will have about the outside world. The walls are closing in now. Prepare for a lifetime of ignorance. You will have to ask someone else what’s going on. Someone who is one of those rare things: a subscriber.