#get em get em

[wizardbuckets]

YEAHGHHH GET THEIR ASSES‼️ FUCK YEAH‼️

[brightlotusmoon]

The Louvre Is Thrilled to Announce It Is Rebranding to “UVR” - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

If there’s one thing we’ve concluded from the millions of visitors who pass through our doors every year, it’s that art is passé. Art is stale in an age of content—unlimited content you can hardwire to your cerebellum with maximum connectivity, allowing you to upload videos with your smart shoe, get a crappier version of the cable television you cut the cord on years ago, and watch reality shows transpire in real-time in reality with no scripts, no actors, no directors, no cameras, no crews, no catering, and no pesky union wages that make it impossible to hoard all the profit for yourself for work someone else did.

You see, in the future of tomorrow’s today, we’re visioneering. You can do banking with a flicker of your eye, communicate with your dead loved ones with incoherent AI that regurgitates gibberish that sounds nothing like them, and record audio with your mind before it’s swiftly forgotten unless you order our memory-enhancement supplements—be sure to sign up for a subscription, fam, for the best deal and assurance you’ll never run out, lest all your cherished memories be erased. Memories are content, and content is here for its coronation, baby. After all, we once hosted French kings, so we’re an authority in telling you there’s a new king in town, and that king is content, beautiful, sweet, sweet content—oh, content, my love, how I long for thee, how my aching loins quiver for thy sweet embrace.

[housederiva]

Gaby Soto is a gift

Edit: I missed one!

[egophiliac]

gargoyle Mal is everything I've ever dreamed of and more. his little raincoat! his umbrella! I hope he really does have big ol' stompy rainboots to splash around in puddles in. I hope they have little faces on them.

(Twst please give me Malleus having a rainy day adventure, this is everything I need right now)

[ophidianofeden]

"strap cant get someone pregnant" clearly your will doesn't match your conviction. persevere

[little-pissbaby]

fun fact about me! I have hyperadrenergic Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (hPOTS). this means I am prone to fainting when I change positions or when I feel a strong surge of emotion, positive or negative. for me, laughing is my worst non-postural trigger.

this is a clip from playing lethal company with friends a few months ago. you can hear the eerie silence of presyncope at 0:19, and the sound at 0:23 is my face hitting the keyboard lmao. I played this for my mother and she literally pissed herself laughing and DEMANDED I show every single person I know (including my doctors, who thought it was funny to see and surprisingly helpful, especially for being audio only).

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[pinkravat-art]

i cannot keep my identity secret anymore. I am harrier du bois

[oviraptoridae]

here's what ur gonna do. ur gonna get a plain tshirt from anywhere. from ur closet or ur dad or the thrift store or whatever. then ur gonna go to the dollar store or whatever equivalent u have in ur country. ur gonna get fabric paint and a sponge. ur gonna go home and take a cereal box or a cover of a magazine or something similar. ur gonna draw a design on it [or words. or print out a picture and trace it onto the cardstock) and cut out a stencil. then ur gonna use the sponge to dab the paint onto the shirt using the stencil. ur gonna do that thinly in 2-3 coats until it's opaque but not too stiff. then ur gonna let it dry for 24 hours. ur gonna cover that shirt with a thin towel and press an iron against the design for 30 seconds. then ur gonna wash it & wear it. got it?

[drownthehatch]

[monstermonger]

Dragonlord Placidusax I

[chloesimaginationthings]

The FNAF Mikes talk about their extended family..

[morganbritton132]

Post-Starcourt Steve and Robin needing to get the hell out of the mall parking lot and being like, “I have this friend. He’s close.”

Cut to Eddie standing at his bedroom door, holding his guitar like an axe because he’s pretty sure someone just broke into his house and is going to murder him. When he busts out the door holding a lamp above his head (didn’t want to break his guitar), he nearly bludgeons a couple of puke covered ice cream sailors.

After they all stop screaming, Steve looks at the lamp and nudges it like, “Lighten up, man.”

Eddie: What are you doing here?

Steve: Relax, my friend lives here.

Eddie: I live here

Steve: Are you my friend? No??? Then I’m talking about someone else. Duh. *makes a gesture to Robin like ‘this guy.’*

Robin, making the same gesture back: We are going to sleep on your couch.

Eddie: …Are you guys high?

Steve & Robin, after considerable thought: A little.

[egophiliac]

you know, I've been thinking about it, and there is actually one single scenario in which I would be okay with not getting a big ol' "Silver Vanrouge" out of Lilia.

(just kidding, I still need some "call me Silver, Mr. Vanrouge is my father" in my life, please don't let me down on this one Twst)

[pokimoko]

Asexual bird? Please

How about two asexual birds?