#ethan speaks

[brain--rott]

"everybody experiences that" says mother who has the same symptom of the same mental illness

[welcomehomemuppets]

Beautiful beautiful people I hope your doing good / okay!! Sorry for the little content but I'm okay!

Anyways here's a pic of all the mayhem babies!!

[theun3mployed]

hello aga1n!

[gaslightgallows]

if you get this, answer with three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs! anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog <3

Lol I never know how to answer these things. Hmm...

1) Every partner I've ever had, I've met because of fanfic.

2) I was born on my maternal grandfather's birthday.

3) My favourite vampires are played by Canadian actors.

[je-suis-problematique]

Triggering topics under the cut.

It's just another one of those nights, you know? When everything is just a little bit too smothering and a little bit too heavy and it's starting to become kind of unbearable. We seem to be having those nights often lately, but what really hit a nerve this time was this reel I saw on Instagram. It was meant for people considering suicide and, as usual, it was someone trying to convince you not to do it. This guy holds up a sign and it reads something along the lines of "picture your loved ones clearing out your room and reliving their memories of you, thinking how lucky they were to have gotten to meet you".

I'm sorry, what? The closest person to us lives in another country. The ones clearing out our room if we kill ourselves will be our ex who would probably celebrate our death and MAYBE our social worker. There will be no happy, tearful reminiscing of positive memories there. I doubt our ex feels anything positive when it comes to us at this point and our social worker will probably just be disappointed in us or himself for not catching the signs sooner or something. Nobody will be feeling lucky to have met us, nobody will be sad for having lost us. The single person who might actually mourn our loss won't even be able to attend the funeral if there will even be one.

So don't give me this "you will be missed" bullshit because it's just not true. Nobody in our immediate surroundings is going to give a single fuck if we actually ended up killing ourselves.

– Ethan

[swallowthebanjo]

okay so i called about a top surgery consult today and i've been absolutely ecstatic all day since. they said they'll get back to me in a day or two for scheduling which is so surreal?

i never thought i would be here. ive been out since 2015 and now im 24, been on T for five years, and im /finally/ in a place where i can do this and i can't believe it so i made a list of things im excited for

standing up straight

the feeling of my shirt against my skin

sleeping shirtless in the summer

crop tops & opaque materials

torso tattoos

cool scars

feeling my lovers hands against my chest (even if there isnt much feeling)

swimming topless (after the appropriate amount of time post op)

deep necked shirts and button downs /slutty

loving myself more

growing my hair out (passing thing)

my collection of post op shirts

weight off my chest jokes

no more negative associations with 💞boobs💞

going up and down stairs, running, jumping, climbing around on rocks and trees

pec workouts (after the appropriate amount of time post op)

looking at myself

this is literally the best thing ever. i had to share this somewhere, i can't keep it in ive been feeling like crying all day /pos and it feels like i've regained the pride i once had for myself, the joy of being who i am, the satisfying feeling of this is it, my final push to being so completely selfmade with the help of those who love me. i'm glad that i'm here, i'm glad i stuck around long enough to be here, im so young and im so happy to be alive. anyways

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

attempt to return to normalcy

[echoviscera]

look obvs i’ve made great strides in my mental health but also no one prepares you for the shit storm you’ll face in your mid-20’s and when i tell you i’ve never needed someone to talk to more than right now and part of me has always felt ignored even though i actually never shut the fuck up, and the answer is so clearly “go back to therapy find the power within yourself to be better just for you” yet you still have this absolute fucking addiction to being seen that you start writing poetry on random playing cards that you leave at random bars cafes and venues, but deep down you still want the people you care about to just recognize “oh shit they need some help” without drastic reactions and/or consequences, i’ve lost track of the imbedded clauses and tenses but like: fuck dude. i can’t keep bothering my friends with my very mundane “go touch some grass” problems; i already feel like i’ve lost some of the moat important people to me because i had trouble getting over a very transparent emotional hump, why would i add another to that. but goddamn, i really feel fundamentally out of sync with what’s going on and while i navigate situations so that i don’t try to steal the spotlight, when is it gonna be my turn to be the main character, to be the girl interrupted, to be the romanticized and pursued? i probably shouldn’t want those things but goddamn. i should journal

[neilperryismine]

we definitely don’t talk about this moment enough

the look todd gives mr keating after neil fathers takes him away. todd just wanted to speak to neil and tell him how good he was, and he was dragged away. and you can’t tell me that todd didn’t think there was something wrong because he looks so concerned

and imagine what would’ve happened if neil’s father didn’t turn up…sigh

[slimyshield]

one thing about the mission impossible movies is they are not afraid to make tom cruise look like an idiot. they'll put him in a jacket that's too big for him. they'll put him in the dorkiest 2000s cyclist sunglasses. they'll put him in a silly little beanie. they'll put him in capri pants at 50 years old. they said yes ethan hunt is a massively capable government agent but first and foremost he is human and as such he is susceptible to fashion fails just like the rest of us

[brain--rott]

i am not casual. i want to drink your blood

[puppethistoryhive]

in da clerb we all gay

[theun3mployed]

it's so awful amazing that Showfall has managed to partner with Mark!

[pocketwatch-system]

My face when no one calls me Ethan (I didn’t tell them to)

[theun3mployed]

I figured it out didn't I?

Finally, we have Ethan!

What can I say about Ethan? I’m not sure other than he’s a tinge nervous to make his appearance!