#but these have all been oddly specific??
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I have got yet another fuckin infection.
#personal*#jess talks#I..I’m so done#I want a new body pls#or just to die preferably#I’ve had 6 infections in the last year#that’s not normal right?#and they’ve all be in different places#I thought it was just cus I work with kids so I catch everything#but these have all been oddly specific??#like not flu related#my chest infection was#but like I had one in my scar tissue and one in my neck from too much muscle use#now I’ve got one in my gums I think#I just wanna die#can I have 1 MONTH of not getting ill pls#I don’t wanna go to the doctors anymore#I don’t wanna buy more meds#pls for the love of god#just murder me
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Do you got any examples of your sketches? I like studying other artist’s sketches so I can consume parts of their style like an art vampire lol
swear this has been in inbox for months sorry toast... <crying emoji> thank you... uhhhhh have some rly unfinished ghost story stuff i'll likely never touch again (has been months)
#gist of it all was haha smoke things you could do 2d-specific medium wise#was oddly enamoured at the concept of seeing joey superimposed whenever the smoke of burning obscured jozef. because idea of smoke purifyin#from hao. and also the similar costumes. genuinely so !! at the idea. got a few frames done in colour then gave tf up but maybe i could#be persuaded to render this in grayscale + golden overlay layers for sepia tones. i kinda see it.#was talking to cc when i first got about to this floating mess of an idea abt comic? animatic?? and like. mystery never resolved ig#// for this to work i guess also you would Have to use the specific smoke artstyle i've been using for the ghost story work in which it's#somehow... opaque? yeah. rifts!#ask me stuff???#anyway. sorry again about not getting to asks i am Not Very Good at actively responding to them lately. hope u are doing well#melliotposting moment what do you mean it's almost adamandianniversary again! passing of time..#into the melliotverse#ghost story musical
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Would you like some strangely elaborate specific ass headcanons? Of course you do!!!! Also I'm outsourcing a very specific dilemma. But you have to Learn My Methods first. Okay? Okay!!!!
PIERCINGS. AS STORYTELLING DEVICES. GO!!!!
Okay! So what the hell are we looking at and what exactly am I trying to determine, here? Well!!! There's a few different facets to this.
FIRST OF ALL. REALLY REALLY CUTE AND ALWAYS SO FUN TO ME
One, two, three!!! They're a set of three, and they're marked as such by how many sets of piercings they have in their ears. It's such a small detail that happened more by coincidence than intent, but it makes drawing all three of them together feel coherent and again, fun! I also really like the storytelling/contrast of the Askr siblings having golden jewerly, while Moe's is in silver (it does mix silver and gold more broadly -- but I'm talking just the face/ears here!). You get the sense (... in addition to Moe's more scruffy appearance in general), that one is from a more "common" background.
Okay, but what's all that text? STORYTELLING.... 2
Piercings, as a way to indicate connections to other characters, and to imply background information.
First example, it's noted that Bruno has had his in for a long time (... kind of regretting the specificness of "as a kid". That's supposed to have implications, but tbh it may be more fitting for Bruno as a whole to simply have said, "A Long Time"). He wears something modest, maybe a common stone, but still eye-catching. I like to think Alfonse became enamored with it (guys can also do this???), same way he was completely smitten by all of Zacharias. One extremely questionable piercing job courtesy of Zacharias himself and egged on by Sharena (who made a generous donation and/or sacrifice from her own jewelry box) later, it's a miracle he managed to heal them. Equally impressive is how long he managed to hide them as a teenager.
Meanwhile, you see Sharena's example is pretty straightforward! Assigned ear-stabbing at birth. It worked out well, though! Aside from that one time where her piercings mysteriously closed up and they had to be re-done, when she was little. Which could mean nothing. Alls well that ends well! In fact, she liked the look so much she decided to get another set done! Which may or may not come back later...
I will admit, the saddle plugs on Bruno were an impulse decision I made drawing this out (so not a super strong design headcanon, and maybe I could draw it better w more practice tbh, test run ect ect), BUT. MORE IMPORTANTLY. That idea, AND NEXT UP: STORYTELLING... 3.
On top of noting significant connections and providing background information -- here, you have gaining more and/or doing different Things with your piercings, as a way to indicate the passage of time or a change of taste. Woah, that's a lot of text! That's just my autism showing, I'll do you a favor -- with Moe specifically, the biggest takeaway here is:
One, two, three. There are other iderations of Moe of course, plenty of awkward in-between stages. But as I've developed it, I've found that there's like... three really plot relevant parts of its life. One easy to forget, two OH GOD OH FUCK, three that's the guy who lives here now. AWESOME!!!!
OKAY. OKAY. PEONY she has BEEN HERE THIS WHOLE TIME. What's up with that?
So we have background implications/information, we have connections to other characters, and NOW. WE HAVE. Paths that diverge. Sharena, 2. Peony, 1. Plus, a little bit of shape language with those tear drop earrings... on Sharena specifically...... ohghhghhf........
I've always been really indecisive with my Peony designs (for some reason it has been SUCH A STRUGGLE FOR ME), but I do like the simplicity of this one actually. The "Princess Peach core" note about Sharena is more about her color palette, but after writing that I went You know what. Fuck it *gives Peony Princess Peach earrings*. This does feel subject to change, but the idea they could be like water droplets is so cutes... I have really wanted to give Peony earrings with a blue gem though, BECAUSE...
The blue and silver are a nod to this reoccurring detail on Peony! So not only does it tie back to Sharena (IMPORTANT), it also (theoretically.) ties together nicely overall!!
Okay. So. Where does this leave me. Why did I draw all this out? All these little details that exist in my mind, why did I go out of my way to create this elaborate in-depth demonstration? Remember when I said I was gonna outsource some shit?
PROBLEM: I NEVER. EVER. EVEEEERRRRRR KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH LIF'S EARRINGS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ AND THE LACK OF DIRECTION IS BECOMING MORE AND MORE GLARING EVERY FUCKING TIME I DRAW HIM‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
And what prompted all of this. What REALLY made me Think About This. I did another "ehhh Fuck It" with Lif's piercings, where he's sharing a panel with Moe, and
Ooughgughfhghhh...... them having the same earring arrangement.
But then. Then. I got autism brained about it. I can see Bruno having fuck all time to stretch his ears while on some gayass journey (... the. Timelines. Time in between Events. Maybe he wouldn't have full big stretched ears in Book 1. HOWEVER). Inconvenient, maybe, but if he's dedicated to the grind. He can do it. And I mean, have you seen his muscles? Dude CARES about his appearance. Meanwhile Moe ABSOLUTELY had fuck all time to stretch its ears before arriving in Askr. Then I'm thinking about Alfonse. NEVERMIND how much time it takes to stretch your ears, I'm thinking about the Number Rules. I'm thinking about how he's One, the first guy of a set of Three. I'm thinking about the Number Rule, to indicate Time. Why WOULD he have Three? The Number Rule, as Paths Diverging. There's Two of him, not Three. ALSO ASKING MYSELF "Would Alfonse get more piercings???" LIKE NO. BECAUSE. THE. THE RULE OF THREE. THE ONE TWO THREE. WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😫😫😫😫😫
Idk am I just insane. Am I a lost cause. Lif's ears are usually covered up by his long shaggy hair anyway. But really that does just make any time any piercings Would be visible, just. I am just so deeply conflicted torn between Goth Alt Men Hot and THE METHODS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ THE STORYTELLING THE METHODS MY DEEPLY INTRICATE RITUALS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
#fire emblem#feh#bro why do i have the intricate piercing hc autism................... of all flavors of autism..........#like even within my special interest. i am on some NICHE bullshit. all of yhe fucking time.#the number rules only go for ear piercings. btw. if that fucking means anything#do you wanna hear more oddly specific piercing hcs.#something i lowkey regret my most recent summer sharena is i think it would have been cute to give her a navel piercing#and it was be soooooo funny. of both askr siblings were like. okay well i want a hidden piercing actually.#again like almost we got the rule of threes here too. if we were to fuse them we would have one fully decked out guy.#* most recent summer shari being the one i did for sharena week! it's like a year tradition for me... to draw a Her..#anyways i spent so long typing yhis up and i haven't even done text transcribs yet. goodbye forever.#fe alfonse#sharena#fe bruno#fe peony#fe lif#moe tag#summoner oc#moe ref#yeah sure actually. i'll file this under that. you get a p good look at its piercing arrangements at least#past and present.#now the real question is do i tag mani... that's... moe isn't it? but the same rings true for mani. aesthetically.#eh.#mani tag#my art
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"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai
[ID in alt text]
#my art#three body problem#3 body problem#zhang beihai#三体#章北海#i've been meaning to draw three body problem characters and actually post them on my blog for quite some time!#so if anybody wants me to draw any specific character from the series feel free to reply here or send an ask as a request!#beihai is my top favorite and he resonated with me more than i expected! i rather liked bits of consequentialist philosophical ideas in him#anyways incoming ramble/infodump in the tags about various subjects pertaining to him#all you need to know about me is that i often lurk in chinese language fandom spaces and you might see commonalities in designs#if you see fanartists draw him with the broken eyebrow and mole then that's due to the 我的三体 (my three-body) donghua adaptation!#admittedly i was introduced to the series through that adaptation years ago because it seemed rather absurd (minecraft haha) but oddly good#at least check out the third season (haven't seen the fourth one yet but that's ongoing actually) or listen to 夜航星 (night voyager)#i'm rather curious how fanartists on tumblr might tackle character designs since i mostly see the two live action adaptations here#i want to diverge my designs from any particular adaptation but my beihai design takes a lot from 我的三体!#now about beihai- i really enjoyed his characterization and i'd like to bring up a maybe unintentional parallel and foil with the eto#hopefully that's something new to add to the discussion about zhang beihai and here's what adaptations don't get about mike evans#in the book he's a character you mostly only hear about from others and he's known to be a private person#he conceals a lot of his thoughts from even people like ye wenjie + he taught the trisolarans about deceit#then his strategy to kill luo ji was to keep it low and make it seem like an accident which those obfuscations of thought parallels beihai#then evans says: “but… it's obvious now that everywhere is the same” which is similar to beihai's “it doesn't matter. it's all the same”#the contexts differ but i think they're good foils about human nature “being the same” with evans's quote being about futility#then beihai's was about how regardless of if he survived or not- someone else would be able to carry on with his work#i have many other thoughts about beihai like how chu yan's (captain of blue space) group approach with the voting contrasts beihai#while beihai tried to bear the weight of attacking the other ships in solitude- chu yan made vengeance against trisolaris a group effort#(which that action goes against how the swordholder was a solitary role instead of a group one which is neat to me!)#i'd discuss more but i think that's enough to show that i really love zhang beihai (feel free to discuss the books with me though)
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Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).
I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.
So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.
#text post#incoherent rambling#project update#game project#I’m still also debating whether or not I can actually even make a proper horror game too#It’s the rule of like just being a horror fan doesn’t make you good at horror being afraid of something does? ya know?#I am trying to go with things that scare me personally but it’s been difficult#either things aren’t concrete of concepts enough or are wayyyy too oddly specific to make anything about#which is quitter talk I know but how does one translate the childhood heebee jeebees of watching top ten gaming videos past bedtime 💀💀💀#or like the way too broad general fear of lack of control without making it too on the nose or too vague#truly a balancing act writing is#kinda ironically I am also a little bit less afraid of hospitals after having been to one for myself rather than family members#which makes things both more and less difficult???#on one hand I have better references for them now but on the other hand I’m desensitized to it 😔#I think I get used to things a little too easily for a lot of things to stay scary#the thing was a scary movie the first time I saw it and now it’s a comfort film#funger was a very scary game until I first died and reloaded a save with little consequence and now it’s just a spooky but fun rpg#but then at the same time thinking about a movie studio logo before a movie that scared me as a kid cause there was a monster in it#still gives weird left over shivers but actually seeing it doesn’t anymore for some reason#I feel like that’s how it’s worked with most things I’ve ever been afraid of in my life besides concepts like death control or idk drowning#ugh writing is HARD#but actually making a functional and fun to play game is harder oh my god do I not know how to make puzzles#I have made swivel chairs that can be knocked and walked over but that’s about it and idk what to do with that knowledge lmaooooo#and I don’t want the entire gameplay loop to be read text search room get key repeat cause that’s boring#I have also desperately tried making a stamina system but there’s not much help with that online especially not in the rpg maker forums#the no necroposting rule sucks all the threads for questions I have never get answered and never will cause no one is allowed to due to age#anyway idk what to tag this probably won’t get seen since it’s not my usual anyway but eh whatever I’ll think about this#hopefully I remember the passwords to two blogs 💀💀💀
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The more I think about it, the more I realize Supreme Leader really has an anti-immigrant/xenophobic streak. Her racism towards the Nabateans is rooted in that they're "different" from humans, and thinks it's their fault for everything that happened (even though the Agarthans are right there but they probably twisted the narrative). She suspects Claude and thinks he's from a different country and because of where he's from, thinks she doesn't have "sufficient knowledge" about Fodlan. I know people will bring up her Almyra speech during her paralogue but that's just talking, when push comes to shove she displays a much different attitude.
Hm,
I wouldn't go that far tbh.
However, Supreme Leader is an imperialist - remember the off-shoots? - which means that Adrestia will always be superior, in one way or another, to the country/states/territories she invades.
I don't think her line to Claude about having "sufficient knowledge" refered to his background, but more to hers : he doesn't know "Willy's Sekrit History" or Nabateans/Agarthans exist and aren't humans (not yet at least lol).
Still, if you think about it, this is a Supreme argument : no matter what Claude would have learnt (hell his paralogue is about meeting Macuil!) even if by some mistake he hears about Willy's Sekrit History, to Supreme Leader he would never have had enough knowledge because, well, he isn't her.
Bear in mind that in Nopes, she accepts his "alliance" after imparting him the "knowledge" she has (curiously we will never see what was in that letter she gave him save for Rhea'n'Seteth not being who they seem to be...) so I wonder if any kind of intel he could have gotten on his own would, at one point, be rewarded by Supreme Leader as acknowledgment that he has "enough" knowledge... or it still wouldn't be "enough", because it doesn't come from her?
You mentionned her Almyra convo in her own paralogue...
Who demonstrates her lack of "knowledge" here? lol
As if the Church of Seiros or religion was the reason why Almyra does its monday raids! Talking with them because they aren't religious or don't follow the Church of Seiros creed? Gonerils don't follow it either, and yet they've been fighting for their lives for centuries against raiders!
"When pushes come to shove" : do you mean Brigid? Because that is also another country that doesn't follow the Seiros religion... and we see how "reasonably" Adrestia treated them through the ages, hell, in non-CF routes, Brigid is still a vassal of Adrestia during the war so...
#anon#replies#Supreme Leader stuff#her rejection of Nabateans though is something as specific as the Crimean NPCs throwing stones at Ranulf in FE9#you can't be imperialist without a good dose of nationalism and xenophobia lol#granted it's not like you hate the 'others'#it's just that for now they suck but when you'll conquer them they'll stop sucking anymore#iirc in her Nopes battlequotes with Dimitri'n'Claude she has something like#praising them by wishing they were born in Adrestia which is all kinds of weird#but oddly fitting#they're so talented that they could have been Adrestians#playing BKEWLO and BKO where the games don't shy away#at depicting imperial asshats who think they're better than anyone else#really is a gut punch#the closest we got was imo SB Ferdie#saying bullcrap about Faerghus and crested people to demonstrate both his ignorance#and haughtiness like man doesn't even bother studying or researching what he's talking about#big 'those people are savages we must bring them civilisation even if i made up the savage part' vibes lol#FE16
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i’m just
there must be so many gaps in jieum’s memory
she was the girl of many trades but can she remember how she learnt any of those skills? No they were all from her past lives so they’re gone. Can she remember leaving her neglectful family to live with ae-gyeong? No because she was from a past life, so where does ji-eum think she grew up? She remembers being good at school and her awards but not if anybody was there in the audience for her. She says in her phone call to her superior that she remembers switching departments before, but she doesn’t remember working in the hotel. She cooks meals the exact way as ae-gyeong taught her and she taught ae-gyeong, but she doesn’t remember having learnt them. if she can’t remember anything to do with her past lives, she wouldn’t be able to remember anything that had happened in the past few months the drama is set over.
that must be such an odd and confusing existence, to only remember small dots and flashes of your life, and a giant gap in recent memory, and she doesn’t even seem to be affected by it either? Did she go to the hospital after coming to consciousness standing on a bridge with no idea how she got there? Did they run tests on her brain to see if something had gone wrong? Does she think she suffered a mental breakdown?
What is going on in ji-eum’s brain in those final scenes i want to dissect her thoughts like a grape
#see you in my 19th life#did she move back into her old job on the suggestion of a therapist who is helping her with her sudden memory loss?#she was living with ae-gyeong where did she think she lived?#does she have monthly visits to a group of doctors that are fascinated by her oddly specific memory loss?#in those first few days after losing all her memories. did people she knew try to approach her and she freaked?#if she’d gone to the hospital ae-gyeong would be her emergency contact. maybe it just slipped through the cracks because she was also in#hospital recovering from surgery at the time.#there is a large set of contacts in ji-eum’s phone that she doesn’t recognise at all - not just numbers from her loved ones#but contacts for her job at the hotel as well and anybody she’d met during the show’s run#imagine with me if you will if there had been one final episode instead of those few scenes#ji-eum recovering from what she can only assume is some kind of mental breakdown from stress and her childhood#ae-gyeong coming to visit her in hospital and this deliciously heart-wrenching scene that mirrors ji-eum by her bedside when she was ill#and ji-eum doesn’t recognise her at all and only feels a base level of concern knowing ae-gyeong had surgery not long before#ae-gyeong promising to take care of ji-eum but turns her down because her head and heart hurt from being near her so she rents out an#apartment. she has no recollection of working at the hotel and seo-ha isn’t ready to see her yet it’s too soon so doyun has to handle her#transition back to the engineering track. and in her phone she deletes all the contacts she doesn’t know but when she looks at the photos#and icr if she took one with seo-ha but she must have but defo the one with her ae-gyeong and cho-won. she can’t bear to delete them#even though she doesn’t know them or remember why they were taking this photo. but bc it’s a romance she has to have a few photos of seo-ha#and she sort of ponders over them like. who are you. who were you to me. but it hurts her head so she puts down her phone#and there can be a bunch of times throughout the episode where she just misses him like. she’s asleep in hospital and he brings her flowers#and she wakes up just in time to see the back of his head leaving the room. she could visit ae-gyeong to try to rebuild this#parental relationship she doesn’t remember but has all the proof that this is the lady who raised her. and like in the show seo-ha could be#sat right behind her but he doesn’t interact with her directly they just do the napkin bit and then he leaves w/o looking at her#and the meet-up with cho-won could stay the same with the difference that ji-eum recognises her from their photo and says something like#’we know each other don’t we.’ and cho-won gets so excited and maybe even calls them sisters but then she realises what she’s doing and is#like. ‘that’s how it felt for me. we worked together just a few months ago. i’m cho-won’ and then ji-eum can do that#gorgeous reach for her memories from the show where she rolls the name around her mouth because it’s just so familiar#and ofc i’d change nothinf about the scene where she finally re-unites with seo-ha that was delicious af#but i feel like there were just too many gaps in her memories for it to have been smoothed over y’know?#disclaimer i read the webtoon first and loved it but think it had to change for the adaptation
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I found a case study where someone was on Ciprofloxacin (the antibiotic that permanently fucked us up) and then put on Clarithromycin (the one we've just been on) and ended up on a psych ward because of the psychiatric side effects of the Clarithromycin, and apparently they wore off within a week so I guess that's something? maybe?
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#<- still not sure if it counts but I feel like every post we've made since taking the Clarithromycin needs some kind of special tag#because it sure as shit feels like we're intoxicated with something regardless of whether we've taken pain meds#I feel like I can't fully convey to people what I'm actually experiencing and how much it's fucking me up#and I'm just desperately hoping that it does ease off as quickly as in this case study#but y'know when you're experiencing something and you can tell even when it's over it's gonna have a lasting effect#because it's just been that stressful and overwhelming you're probably gonna have new triggers and a bunch of stuff to process?#yeah. I'm sure this definitely won't exacerbate any of our existing medical trauma or give us new triggers and fears around this stuff /s#I hate it because people already act like we're overly fussy and ridiculous for having actual trauma from nearly fucking dying#but then stuff like this happens and makes it worse and gives us really oddly specific triggers and issues#and people take us even less seriously because they think it's ridiculous or that it can't actually have been that bad#which then leads to them treating us even worse and that leading to even more issues and it becomes a vicious cycle#meanwhile basically all our medical trauma comes down to feeling like we're being stripped of our autonomy#which is... not an unreasonable thing to freak out over?
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.
#ive already expressed what i want to express but i still feel jorrible#i havent felt this badly triggered in months#my skin is crawling' heart wont stop beating' ears are ringing' cant sit still but cant focus on anything#the mental health center isuakly go to already closed for the day#i dont trust myseld to drive anywhere#i know im safe but my body is on fire#i cant stop worrying#theres a part of me that i resent that is afraid that w.soot is gonna try to kill himself#at the same time i feel so sick at all the stuff hes done#all the women coming forward specifically#ive lost faith in someone i really admires#oddly enough im not having flashbacks?#memory loops definitely#i want to sleep but my body literally cannot stop shaking#i have been shaking for hours#i think its literally been 10 hours at this point of non stop shaking#i dont want to admit myself to a psych ward but i think im reaching a point where i might have to go#i havent been there in over a year & i hate it cuz the temperature controls are broken and they wake you up at 5am to make sure youre alive#im safe but i dont want to be alone with this#i dont want to be awake right now#my body wont stop shaking
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39, 73 and 11 for this?
39. King for a Day - Pierce the Veil (LETS GOOOOO)
You told me think about it, well I did Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore I'm tired of begging for the things that I want I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor
(it. was very hard to choose just one part)
73. My Name Isn't Mine - NateWantsToBattle
You never had the heart or soul to let it go The jealousy, it takes control of everything you do And even if you sign the line, pretend it's fine My name it isn't mine, I'm an object in your mind (I'm just your property, right?)
11. Daddy's Home - Jt Music
(erm.......did not expect this one......bioshock 2 rap......funny how it made it this high I thought rapture rising was better)
Daddy, I've been on my own Can you see how much I've grown? Taught me everything I know So when will you be coming home? I can't make it on my own Mama's watching where I go I can fix you if you broke I have to bring my daddy home
#the last one was ver hard to choose because they all sounded. oddly specific so it was kinda goofy#come onnn it couldn't have been rapture rising. that song is 💥💥💥#shoutout to nwtb for having some of the hardest lines in his bendy songs#anyways thx for the ask :]#asks#moots
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coming to terms with having adhd is like wow so my brain has been broken all my fucking life and always will be. and when I felt like everything was unfair + more difficult for me than everyone else thats because it is actually. and it will always be like this forever. hope that helps 👍
#and also all my concerns abt being high risk for substance abuse + self harm + suicide are now statistically proven 👍#not to mention risks of debt/houselessness + the whole spectrum of attachment/relationship issues etcetera#the likelihood of me having adhd is inescapable theres too much evidence for it. but I cant even think abt it without having a breakdown#my execution function hasn't been functioning for weeks and I'm so fucking tired I just want to be able to do shit. please#also so sick of ppl being like oh adhd is so fun it means youre more creative + energetic haha 🤪 whenever I try to talk abt it#like actually not to be a downer but its ruining my fucking life. its not some 'superpower' or coveted quirk. kindly shut the fuck up#maybe it would just be a fun different type of brain if society was structured differently. but its not! so it will always be a hindrance#I think I need to try and find a therapist to see who specialises in or has experience w adhd bc I am rly not coping right now lmfao#just so I can wrap my head around this. and figure out how to get my shit together and function as a member of society#anyway. sorry.#.vent#oddly this is very specific to adhd. when i think abt the fact i likely have autism im like hell yeah that rules B^)
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Ah yes, the unaware aromantic urge to fantasise about having a „if we ever brake up, we should make sure that we‘ll stay at least friends afterwards“ talk with your hypothetical future romo partner early on in the relationship.
#And the reasoning is „hey break-ups are more likely to happen than finding true love so might as well prepare for a break-up scenario!“#aromantic#aro#having been an unaware aro#unaware aro#unaware aromantic#break-ups happen all the time after all#so might as well fantasise about how to keep the friendship alive after a break-up!#i wasn’t the only one who had that oddly specific fantasy in school right?#right???
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i've been going through a rough patch in life* these past handful of months and i must say this writing thing has helped immensely and i never would've thought other people would like the things that i created
#i started writing bc i have very specific tastes and i just couldn't find exactly what i was looking for#and i started sharing it just for the heck of it#and now there's some of you out there also enjoying my silly little projects and it's a bit heartwarming honestly#guess i'm a bit sappy today#🌙#*it's all mental health related. i am both going through the best and the hardest time in my life#the best because i've been living in a place where i don't have to worry about my safety constantly#where i can get food and fulfil my basic needs#but oddly enough that in itself made it so i could finally look inside#and oh boy if it ain't a bit messed up in there#ngl i think i might just be going through autistic burnout#and it's hard to find help for that specifically#but anyway i'm rambling#i'm just glad i can once again find solace in fandom spaces
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I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS
Has it already been proposed that Hatsune Miku is essentially the digital age successor to the cultural niche originally established by Betty Boop, did I see that somewhere or is it a weird thing my autism told me
#IM SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE WITH MORE FOLLOWERS POINTED IT OUT BECAUSE EXACTLYYYYYYYY#i have specifically old cartoon autism and betty is my absolute favorite of all time forever and ever amen#which unfortunately means i have to make a slight correction that she was created in 1930 🫣#and also umm im sorry im being pedantic. she was associated w the jazz age 🫣🫣 her friend sally swing represented swing though!!#also highly recommend the short “a language all my own” which was a tribute to her many many loyal japanese fans#its so cute#and shockingly non racist considering the time period. because actual japanese artists and languag consultants were involved lol#i mention this bc it really illustrates her irl celebrity status within her own universe its oddly meta#anyway one of my reboop ideas leaned heavily into her “fictional celebrity ascended to irl celebrity” status#perhaps i could even include miku. they could collab#im sorry im sorry im sorryyyyy i love her so much#ive been meaning to draw betty in so many different like...contexts. idk if i should be doing other cultures traditional clothing tho#anyway shes basically like a doll in the same way miku is. where she can be placed into so many different contexts and dressed up#and she'll fit anywhere!!!!#im sorry. im sorry i have no reason to be getting so anxious and possessive shes not my character. i have to keep reminding myself this#keep tag#betty boop#fleischer#anyway like so. anyway. she was in fact intended to be like a real life celebrity. which is why her shorts were always framed#as “betty boop in ____” or “____ starring betty boop” like shes an actress playing a role. i love it so much. i love her so much#sorry. if you want i can keep going i can give an exhaustive history of betty boop lecture if you want#anyway betty boop is miku's grandma#idk who the grandpa is i obviously want to say koko as a betty/koko fan but idk what his situation is down there quite frankly#i think it might be a balloon animal. to be honest
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#IM SO FUCKING MISERABLEEEEEEEE#anyway. decided officially today bc my mind is fucked up like that#but w/e#anyway yeah. today my father (?) has chosen to forsake any kind of relationship whatsoever!#he had the audacity to come to me afterwards and be like ‘i care. i care!!’#and i asked him to show it. prove it! and he had no answer! just like he hasn’t for the past thirty years!#sorry bitch! you don’t get a participation trophy when it comes to parenting! you either do it or you don’t!#anyway. speaking to him as though i don’t really care (working on it) is. disgustingly fulfilling#it’s bc it’s just what i call ‘bitch me’ speaking my mind instead of suppressing it like i do all other facets of my personality#while living here. it’s great! it’s awesome!#i’m internalizing my therapist trying to beat into my thick goddamn skull that this is an Abusive Environment and an Abusive Household#and he used those words specifically and he used the upper case i could hear it#and that cognitive dissonance has been fun!#anyway. at my fucking limit!#so grateful i’m going to be with people that actually care for and love me#and that i care for and love endlessly back as soon as less than 24 hrs#vaguely concerned having to go back will break me?#*!#but that sounds like a problem for sober and tomorrow me#in the meantime. i play dead by daylight. bc im v good at avoiding being killed/being allowed the hatch#and it’s oddly affirming#or maybe an extremely fucked up version of ‘everyone for themselves’ OR ‘no one gets lefts behind’#very fun mind games to play with myself. for no reason.#did i mention im drunk#i’m drunk lol#delete later? yeah prob
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I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me
It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:
At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.
On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."
Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:
But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:
It gets worse.
"Tempest, how could it possibly--"
source of this video that also includes this charming description:
Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'
There is already a meme.
Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:
Who has already done an interview!
As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!
Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.
The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.
Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!
I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.
Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:
I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.
Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:
Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.
Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.
Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.
I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.
This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.
Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:
With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"
"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:
There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.
The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.
Even better, this weirdly grainy image?
From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.
If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.
As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.
And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...
This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.
Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.
As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...
Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.
You cannot make this stuff up.
But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.
Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.
HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.
#long post#Willy Wonka#Wonka#Willy Wonka Experience#Willy Wonka Experience disaster#Willy's Chocolate Experience#Willys Chocolate Experience#THE UNKNOWN#Wish.com Oompa Loompa#House of Illuminati#AI#ai generated
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