#i dont want to be awake right now
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
In 2020, Tumblr had 29.4 million users in the US.
Text
.
#ive already expressed what i want to express but i still feel jorrible#i havent felt this badly triggered in months#my skin is crawling' heart wont stop beating' ears are ringing' cant sit still but cant focus on anything#the mental health center isuakly go to already closed for the day#i dont trust myseld to drive anywhere#i know im safe but my body is on fire#i cant stop worrying#theres a part of me that i resent that is afraid that w.soot is gonna try to kill himself#at the same time i feel so sick at all the stuff hes done#all the women coming forward specifically#ive lost faith in someone i really admires#oddly enough im not having flashbacks?#memory loops definitely#i want to sleep but my body literally cannot stop shaking#i have been shaking for hours#i think its literally been 10 hours at this point of non stop shaking#i dont want to admit myself to a psych ward but i think im reaching a point where i might have to go#i havent been there in over a year & i hate it cuz the temperature controls are broken and they wake you up at 5am to make sure youre alive#im safe but i dont want to be alone with this#i dont want to be awake right now#my body wont stop shaking
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
119 notes
·
View notes
Text
god i need that fictional character in ways concerning to feminism and human rights activists
#text#my post#this could be about sooo many characters. and i WILL tag them because i apparently hate everyone#darkstalker wof#morrowseer wof#handsome jack#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel alastor#anyway. this is my taste in characters#could and would kill me instantly. but would also fuck me and keep me around as a weirdo kind of pet#i specifically want valentino to take away my rights and free will as a human being#and i want him to make vox join in on the evil scheming he has in mind for me <3#and darkstalker + morrowseer..... SWOON#use your mighty animus magic on me and turn me into a docile and pliant breeding scavenger please???#anyway it is 2am i dont think im supposed to be awake right now. evident by this post
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wrote tha note to put on their door in the morning.
Do u think my sleep deprived frustration is evident lol
#speculation nation#bc guess who is still awake. thafs right. this poor sod#im so exhausted and yet the thump thump thumping continues#it makes me want to bang on the ceiling but i know that wont help#i dont even know what the noise is now. rapid fire thumping in a way that sounds like#more frequent than would naturally be audible from just normal thumping.#it's definitely not a sex thing. it almost sounds like the dull popping of fireworks#thouhh i know it's not that either.#my best guess is that it's the keyboard i started hearing last friday#but i havent heard them practicing nearly as much as ive heard this damned thumping#im#actually tempted to just go up there and knock on their door#it's 1 am and the thump thump thumping is continuing.#i just want to fucking sleep
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
👀🍕..
#chattin#i am AWAKE from my nap. and i have thoughts#thinking of that damn 🍕head bc i keep seeing him in my dash…and people draw him w others so well….#i want him to be like just a silly guy#but a silly guy thats got something a little fucked up wrong w him#mentions of stalking and obsessive behavior ->#like i think i am going to settle w 🍕head being a bit (ALOT…AWFULLY ALOT) obsessed w peppino#like summing it up wo writing an essay;#he wanted peppinos shop and got rejected TWICE. he tried hiring peppino and got chased out of the shop#and it went from ‘i want the shop’ to ‘i want peppino’ to ‘if i cant have the shop neither can he’#to ‘if i cant have him…well actually thats not an issue at all’#imitation is the sincerest form of flattery yknow#the peppibots came first bc its like ‘okay i cant have the damn shop but i can just Make a shop w bots that work like him. that cant be too-#-hard RIGHT??’ but the bots are so volatile and unresponsive and they explode everything they touch#and pizzahead is like ‘no… :(‘ peppino looks so angry but makes his food w LOVE…he does NOT explode his food!!!#he doesnt want to scrap the idea but it Is a bit disheartening#and hes like OKAY. WHATEVER! WE ALWAYS HAVE OTHER PLANS….!#theres gotta be cloning labs right? no i dont care about the morality of that shit u sillywilly. FIND ME A LAB.#so now theres little peppino clones everywhere. and they look SO close to the real thing#and pizzahead is like. hol up. i think something is happening that i dont want to happen right now. but im going to put that away for now :)#by this point peppino has already relocated to his Current Spot bc theres literally NOTHING available 😭#‘enough. to the Woods with you’#and pizzahead is like there is no fucking way that chump that IDIOT that extremely handsome IDIOT took the damn plot next to the tower#and immediately is like ‘well if im already making the bots AND the clones then i really REALLY dont need u! at all! not even a little!-#-I dont care! i really dont! who needs a strong and smart and handsome man like u around???!!!!!!’#and pizzahead is like that fucking dumbass😏 watch that shit explode in 6 hours. only um. peppino is storming the tower#and hes like WAIT OH SHIT. KEYS. KEYS WHERW ARE THEY??? THE CLONES! WE AINT GOT NO TIME THE FAT MAN IS COMIN#YOU. ECCENTRIC ARTIST. FIGHT THAT MAN. ‘okay’ YOU WEIRD CHEESE MAN. SHOOT. ‘mkay’#like hes panicking and throwing shit in the air and running in circles in his little camera room#NOOO im at tag limit…pizzahead hates this man he loves this man he is obsessed and maybe wants him a little carnally. its all good okay bye
83 notes
·
View notes
Text
to be honest with everybody I don't think I'm supposed to be here. I think I'm supposed to be somewhere else
#talking#when i was young i would play the same games over and over and i would think obsessively about what was beyond the area provided#i wanted so desperately to see the inside of the apartments in castelia city i would spend hours thinking about it#imagining what im missing#thinking with certainty there would be more to the game if i could just get to the points out of reach somehow#that same feeling of believing theres more out there but being locked out of it by some third party keeps happening#ill have dreams that feel infinitely more familiar and certain than the memories and experiences i have in real life#ill be gone for months only to wake up and learn none of it happened and it was just another product of my imagination#feels like im going nuts when i say i dont think the life im living is correct or accurate or. what word do i want#genuine? i dont feel like this is as real as it presents itself to be#i really dont know how to explain any of what im feeling without sounding like ive absolutely lost my mind. honestly maybe i have lost it#i just know that in my dreams the 'abnormal' events that occur feel infinitely more organic & real than the events that occur when im awake#like at some point in my childhood i fell into this parallel universe and nobody ever came to retrieve me so now this is how i live#all the surrealist media was right. i think im supposed to live somewhere more infinite and less. real? grounded?#i dont know. thinking about it makes my chest hurt#i dont know what the hell any of this is todays tag talk sort of got away from me and for that i applogize#ill toss it in the queue since ive been so chatty lately#saw this was still in the queue so im coming back to say i watched a movie about things like this#and i truly felt like i was dying#very fun
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm so fucking happy that I literally had such a miserable vacation and not a single good day out of two weeks ! 🤗🤗
#dont mind me#im suffering and all ive been able to think about this vacation is how awful ive felt and how miserable ive been#im so fucking upset#i just want to feel like myself again and feel awake and alive#i literally want to cry right now#im also cramping so bad right now that i feel nauseous so thats FUN
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I dont think at this point i can even start on classic literature if i tried, like, i have absolutely zero patience for stories that take their goddamn time "building up" to things. "give exposition talk and show your characters doing everyday things" girl only if the everyday things contribute to the theme of the story! I dont have an ounce of interest in traditional idle starting points, "this story takes awhile to warm up and nothing happens for 45 pages" lmao bye
#I used to think my attention span has gotten worse and i can't focus enough to get through books#but turns out people are just boring writers lmao#i love it when a story starts right off the bat. Dont beat around the bush;#just tell me the fucking story i have never heard of ''build up''#i dont wait for a narrative to come around the story has approximately 1 to 4 minutes to catch my attention or i'm out#my brother is always like ''nooo give this thing a chance it's gonna get better'' nah. if it's good it's good from the very beginning#in the first 5 minutes of Gotham TV you get two children's reaction to murder; utter freeze and ear shattering scream#it immediately swts the scene. you're IN the story the narrative has already started#in the first 5 minutes of Shameless US Ian is outed to the family's possible most homophobic little dude#it literally shocks you out of your skin and you're like ''oh okay!! alright; i'm awake now!''#it's not that i can't get into 570k books anymore; it's that people who write long narratives usually meander and stale so goddamn much#and dont say anything at all and the pace is hella slow#and i need a good captivating opening#this post brought to you by me rewatching Samurai Champloo#opening with a disclaimer reading ''this work is not an accurate historical portrayal. like we care. now shut up and enjoy the show.''#immediately followed by two enemy samurais executed together. like fuuuuuck this opening sequence is so sexy!!!!#i'm one of the people very much in favour of 45-episode shows being cut down to 8 or twelve#if done right#because i only want the essential plot and i love a fast paced story#no.1 hater of ''mandatory beach episode'' here#stick to the fucking plot and pack it!!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
when i get home im going to sleep
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
IMN TIREDDDDDD
#i have to flip my sleep schedule to being awake during the day#cuz rn im awake at night and asleep at the day#but i dont wsnt too... i want to sleep right now.... hrmfnnfmrmjf#i will maybe mke mysellllffffa coffee drink#orrrr i have a monster in the fridge hmmm#maybe i can put the monster kn a cup... many things to consider#mine
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate being fine all day & then all of a sudden feeling miserable
#what the fuck am i doing with my life lol#it doesnt make me want to d*e but it makes me feel so fucking heavy#like im just not doing what im supposed to be doing. my peers are still ahead of me despite the fact that im 22#i cant drive yet i dont live on my own i dont work right now theres so much i dont know how to do and its overwhelming#i feel like ill never catch up because im sitting here constantly fucked up abt what was happening to me 10 years ago#it makes me want to fucking cry and im so tired of feeling like that so often#it never truly ends#milo murmurs#csa vent#i get angry too bc i know none of my abusers regret what they did to me#it doesnt keep them awake at night. it doesnt pop into their mind randomly. it doesnt interfere w their daily life#it didnt give them chronic fucking pain!!!!!#but at the end of the day im just sad im like this bc i dont know how to fix it
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Americana by The Offspring is a very Comics!Hobie song. No Brakes is a very Hobie-coded song, no matter what version. FIGHT ME.
#a biscuit's rambles#im right and you know it#LISTEN TO THE SONGS READ THE LYRICS THEYRE SO HOBIE#hobie brown#spider punk#theyre also proper punk songs hobie WOULD listen to that#go away with your pop or emo-tinged songs this is good ol skatepunk#i mean offspring isnt as niche as lots of other punk and got kinda big which is something of a controversy among some punks#but cmon it still doesnt get much better than that#also theyre just straightup amazing musicians. they could rock ANY genre if they wanted to#look at the hidden tracks theyre already doing that#ALSO THE GUITAR RIFFS ARE SO GOOD DONT TELL ME HOBIE DIDNT SPEND HOURS TRYING TO COPY THEM#this is canon. to me. and you cant stop me#also no brakes like 'someone said its alright save it now dont say it for my sake' HES A PUNK HES BEEN FAILED BY THE SYSTEM HE KNOWS NOTHIN#IS ACTUALLY ALRIGHT BUT YOU GOTTA FIGHT FOR IT TO BE YOU GOTTA FIGHT FOR CHANGE ANYWAYS 'faster now you know i got no brakes'#'lay awake i dont give a shit if i even ever wake up in the morning' IM A RADIOACTIVE SUICIDE MACHINE#LISTEN TO ME LISTEN TO ME SHAKING YOU FROTHING AT THE MOUTH THAT SONG IS SO HOBIE
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
Ignore
#delete later#god i wish i was neurotypical#found out my flatmate is going to be away for a few days after they left and bc id had no warning my anxiety spiked so hard#that i had such a wave of nausea i had to lie down#idk why that fucking happened. ridiculous. irs not like it really affects that much. just the thing of my home being changed in any way#without warning freaks me the fuck out. couldnt do any work til id laid under my weighted blanket at lunch#and like obvs this is an entirely me thing. i dont expect my flatmates to tell me every detail of what they're doing#not sure how to keep myself from freaking over it though. will think on it#but yeah. if i was neurotypical id be fine. i also want to play ky video games after work but im akways so exhausted that all i can do#is lie in bed under my weighted blanket. it is so frustrating. im so tired. not helped that pain is fucking me up in new ways#so im also upset aboit that. and that christmas is approaching abd that changes the routine completely#and is always overwhelming#but this year im staying home so i will be able to keep it quiet and low key and it'll be just me so i dont have to think about#masking in any way which is kind of nice as even the vibe of Christmas takes a lot oit of me#i enjoy the thought of it and always hate the day. same as my birthday. fun in theory. incredibly stressful actually#idk whether it's work stressing me oit long term but right now any change to what im expecting from my routine is making me#so so so frustrated and upset#i had to go get meds after work on tiesday and became so upset by it that i was awake until 1am and was super nauseous#not enjoying that as a primary symptom of anxiety rn. i find eating hard enough as it is#the hair washing routine has given ne sone stability this week which was very nice abd made me feel calm. abd mt physio routine#the energy it takes to do it is outweighed by the relief i get when ive done that part of my routine and then go to bed#work is hard. working full time is so hard. im coping but not well. defo think i need to try getting regular therapy sessions if only#to help me plan for what i need to do and work through coping strategies bc im really hitting a wall. i need to problem solve all#these things but im so exhausted that i can't. so they just keep piling up
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
gehhh I can feel my brain starting to turn pretty fucky wucky and I would really prefer to not have that happen again cause it was really bad last timeee
#forrest speaks#vent#i literally feel up to my eyeballs in stress there's so much shit going on right now and i just really don't like this#got real bad family stuff happening and just general depression shit hitting really hard and pressure from parents to like choose a career#and pressure from uni cause I've not done work for a while and have been in a state about it and ive been too terrified to try and sort#out my probable autism shit cause it stresses me out thinking about it#i just feel like curling up into my bed and never leaving it yknow? its overwhelming and makes me want to cease#feel the need to say that i wont and dont do stupid shit to myself when i get like this because i dont want people worrying n shit#i just usually keep by myself and stay in bed and just mentally beat myself up i guess#god being awake just feels so exhausting right now but im still to awake to sleep#im sorry for dumping this here but i just wanna scream how im really feelin deep down into the void n stuff and this is the best i can do#gonna try drawing a bunch of real self indulgent shit so i can get that happy feeling of making something at the very least#god knows ill need it
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just need to collect my teeth in my hands and give them a stern talking to about how it's rude to scream so much I can't fall asleep
#pax's ramblings#im not even sure im awake right now#if i am i dont want to be#guess what time it is?#i'll tell u#it's tooth hurty#tw teeth
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry im live blogging my mental breakdown to you guys but like physically if am not doing something right now i dont know what will happen
#i cant talk to anyone if theyre even fucking awake right now anyway and i cant fucking#i dont know what to fucking do i dont want to do this again#personal posts and stuff idk#aethers rants#cw vent
2 notes
·
View notes